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-How's it going? -Er, well, it... | 0:00:02 | 0:00:03 | |
-OK? -Yeah. We're doing really well now. It's been a long journey. | 0:00:03 | 0:00:07 | |
2013, it all started. | 0:00:07 | 0:00:09 | |
I just popped out to see my father in hospital, came back | 0:00:09 | 0:00:12 | |
and Robin was on the floor in the...in the bathroom. | 0:00:12 | 0:00:15 | |
Were you? Do you remember it? | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
Ah, well...well... | 0:00:17 | 0:00:20 | |
It looks like a war wound, doesn't it? | 0:00:20 | 0:00:22 | |
Ah. | 0:00:22 | 0:00:23 | |
You don't mind, do you? You're proud of it. | 0:00:23 | 0:00:26 | |
'For several months, | 0:00:26 | 0:00:28 | |
'I'd been spending my days getting to know people with brain injuries.' | 0:00:28 | 0:00:32 | |
Louis! | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
How are you doing, Dan? | 0:00:34 | 0:00:35 | |
'The most precious part of our human anatomy is also | 0:00:36 | 0:00:40 | |
'one of the most mysterious and damage to it can lead to | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
'unpredictable changes of ability and behaviour.' | 0:00:43 | 0:00:46 | |
This programme contains some strong language. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:51 | |
'I'd been curious to get inside the experience of people whose | 0:00:51 | 0:00:54 | |
'bodies and minds have been radically altered.' | 0:00:54 | 0:00:57 | |
As far as you are aware, you feel you're the same person. | 0:00:57 | 0:01:01 | |
-Yes. -Rob, is that your perspective as well? | 0:01:01 | 0:01:03 | |
No. | 0:01:03 | 0:01:05 | |
'Trying to find their place in lives that no longer seem their own.' | 0:01:05 | 0:01:09 | |
You feel you don't really need to be here? | 0:01:10 | 0:01:12 | |
I don't. I want my independence. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:14 | |
'And reconnecting in relationships in which everything has changed.' | 0:01:16 | 0:01:21 | |
'At Daniel Yorath House, a brain injury unit near Leeds, | 0:01:34 | 0:01:37 | |
'I was meeting Earl Linton.' | 0:01:37 | 0:01:39 | |
Hi, Earl. Louis. How are you? | 0:01:40 | 0:01:42 | |
-Fine, thanks. Yeah, pleased to meet you. -Yeah, pleased to meet you. | 0:01:42 | 0:01:46 | |
'Two years earlier, Earl had been involved in a fatal car crash | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
'in which he'd sustained a serious head injury.' | 0:01:48 | 0:01:52 | |
Oh, so this is your spot? | 0:01:52 | 0:01:54 | |
This is my spot just over here. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:55 | |
'Charged with death by dangerous driving but unfit to stand trial, | 0:01:55 | 0:01:59 | |
'he'd been given a supervision order | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
'overseen by the unit. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
'With us for our chat was Dr Yasmin Precious | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
'and Earl's mum, Patricia.' | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
Can we look at some of the things that are important to you | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
in this room? | 0:02:10 | 0:02:11 | |
Yeah. Awesome Arsenal scarf. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
Arsenal are going to win the title this year. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:16 | |
Did you support Arsenal before the brain injury? | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
-Yeah. -That hasn't changed? | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
Yeah, I love football. Erm, I got... | 0:02:20 | 0:02:23 | |
Show me some of your clothes. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:25 | |
I don't really bring my expensive clothes down here | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
because all I do is lounge about. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:29 | |
Earl just wants all expensive stuff now. Before, he wasn't bothered. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:33 | |
But now he just wants all named brand clothes and... | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
What are these? | 0:02:36 | 0:02:37 | |
EARL LAUGHS | 0:02:37 | 0:02:38 | |
This is mouthwash. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:39 | |
But he brushes his teeth three times as well. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
He goes in the shower. He'll brush his teeth in the shower. | 0:02:41 | 0:02:44 | |
He goes in the bath, he gets out of the bath... | 0:02:44 | 0:02:46 | |
I've got a lot of OCD. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
..all in the same time, and brushes his teeth | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
and at home he has to have two different toothpastes, if not three. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:53 | |
He does things in threes and fives for some reason. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
So how did you come to be in a brain injury unit? | 0:02:56 | 0:02:59 | |
Erm, well, what it was, in 2013, | 0:02:59 | 0:03:02 | |
erm, I suffered a severe brain injury in a road traffic accident. | 0:03:02 | 0:03:08 | |
I had to learn how to walk again, talk again, eat again. | 0:03:08 | 0:03:13 | |
How long were you in hospital for? | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
Erm, I can't really remember. I think you know, Mum, don't you? | 0:03:15 | 0:03:19 | |
Yes, he was in hospital for a month. | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
They transferred him into the community, | 0:03:21 | 0:03:24 | |
to a neuro rehabilitation out day patients', where he was going... | 0:03:24 | 0:03:28 | |
Start again, you got that totally wrong. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:30 | |
Erm, Earl came home for a short period of time from | 0:03:31 | 0:03:34 | |
Northern General Hospital and then he had to go back | 0:03:34 | 0:03:37 | |
into a rehabilitation unit | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
for another month and then he came back home to be... | 0:03:39 | 0:03:42 | |
No, you've got it totally wrong again, you're really annoying me. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:46 | |
Please say it yourself. | 0:03:46 | 0:03:47 | |
Just say, Earl was taken home against the doctor's wishes. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:50 | |
No, I'm not going to say that again. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
You know what, here's what we... Let's focus on... | 0:03:52 | 0:03:54 | |
But she's saying a month, yeah? I was there for six months, yeah? | 0:03:54 | 0:03:57 | |
-He wasn't. -In which one? | 0:03:57 | 0:03:59 | |
-I was at Osbourne Building for six months, yeah... -You wasn't. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:03 | |
Why are you lying? | 0:04:03 | 0:04:04 | |
Hold on, guys, let me just... Can I just... | 0:04:04 | 0:04:06 | |
I was in Osbourne Building for six months, I left in April 2014. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:10 | |
Nah, nah, nah. I was there for six months, Osbourne Building and... | 0:04:10 | 0:04:14 | |
-Six weeks. -And neuro rehabilitation... | 0:04:14 | 0:04:17 | |
You did six weeks. | 0:04:17 | 0:04:18 | |
Er, I was on Osbourne Ward but they couldn't do anything for me | 0:04:18 | 0:04:21 | |
because all my physical injuries, like broken bones, was healed. | 0:04:21 | 0:04:25 | |
Then he came home and he was just chucking | 0:04:25 | 0:04:28 | |
things around the house, verbally abusive, kicking the doors. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
So in a way, it sounds like after you'd got better physically, | 0:04:31 | 0:04:34 | |
there were these other things, | 0:04:34 | 0:04:37 | |
erm, to do with your behaviour and the way your brain was working... | 0:04:37 | 0:04:40 | |
-Yeah. -..that were still problems. Is that right? | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
-Yeah. -He's very enthusiastic... -HE PLAYS MUSIC | 0:04:42 | 0:04:44 | |
..but when he comes round to doing it, his mind will go wandering. | 0:04:44 | 0:04:48 | |
This is what he does and this is what he does at home. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:51 | |
# My bitch, I buy her Jimmy Choos Damn... # | 0:04:53 | 0:04:56 | |
Earl never used to listen to this music before, as well. | 0:04:58 | 0:05:01 | |
Earl has come back a completely different person. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:04 | |
She'll go, "Why you listening to that music? You're not a fool. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:06 | |
"You're not like that, this isn't your life, you don't live that life. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:09 | |
"Stop listening to this, people selling drugs and using guns. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:12 | |
"That's not you so why you listening to it?" | 0:05:12 | 0:05:14 | |
He never... He wasn't into anything like that before, Earl. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:17 | |
You said he came back from the injury... | 0:05:17 | 0:05:20 | |
I've got a different son. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:21 | |
He looks like my son, | 0:05:21 | 0:05:22 | |
that's Earl, but he's got a different soul inside him. | 0:05:22 | 0:05:25 | |
He's a different person. That's... | 0:05:25 | 0:05:28 | |
-TEARFULLY: -He's not Earl, he is Earl but he's not. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:33 | |
-I'm sorry. -It's OK. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:38 | |
I'm still alive. | 0:05:38 | 0:05:39 | |
I know you are. You're just a different person. | 0:05:39 | 0:05:42 | |
I can't help it, I'm sorry. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
Daniel Yorath House is part of a network of similar | 0:06:01 | 0:06:05 | |
units around Britain, run by the Brain Injury Rehabilitation Trust. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:11 | |
They have the delicate job of housing | 0:06:11 | 0:06:13 | |
and supporting people with serious brain injuries, as they relearn | 0:06:13 | 0:06:17 | |
skills and rediscover who they are. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
The effects of brain injury can be profound | 0:06:23 | 0:06:25 | |
and sometimes include impulsiveness and even changes in personality. | 0:06:25 | 0:06:29 | |
Do you remember that, Paul? I'll show you first, yeah? | 0:06:29 | 0:06:33 | |
Friends and family may need to work out new relationships | 0:06:33 | 0:06:37 | |
while their loved one has to do the rehab necessary to | 0:06:37 | 0:06:40 | |
get their life back on track. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:41 | |
You're nearly there. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
'At Redford Court, a unit in Liverpool, | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
'I was with Dr Ivan Pitman. | 0:06:48 | 0:06:50 | |
'We were about to see Dan Park.' | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
-Dan, Hi. Are we OK to come in? -Yeah. | 0:06:53 | 0:06:56 | |
-Louis. -Hello, Louis, nice to meet you, my name is Daniel. | 0:06:56 | 0:06:59 | |
'Dan's family was nearly 200 miles away in London | 0:06:59 | 0:07:03 | |
'and so his goal was to live independently. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
'But he'd just moved back into the main unit, following some | 0:07:05 | 0:07:08 | |
'issues with his behaviour.' | 0:07:08 | 0:07:10 | |
One of the things we've been talking about at the moment with | 0:07:10 | 0:07:12 | |
-Dan is, we've just scaled things back a bit, didn't we? -Yeah. | 0:07:12 | 0:07:15 | |
We just kind of, erm, | 0:07:15 | 0:07:16 | |
limited Dan's kind of access off the unit without staff. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:19 | |
-Yeah. -So what are the kind of things that I'm really interested in you | 0:07:19 | 0:07:22 | |
working on when you're going out? | 0:07:22 | 0:07:24 | |
Can you think? I suppose, sometimes I worry that you're over friendly. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:31 | |
-Yeah, I'll talk to anyone. -Yeah! | 0:07:31 | 0:07:33 | |
-You go up to strangers? -Not up to them. | 0:07:33 | 0:07:35 | |
If we're in a queue or something, I'll tap them on the shoulder | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
and say, "They're taking their time, ain't they?" | 0:07:37 | 0:07:40 | |
-Then I'd start a conversation. -Dan's got a great sense of humour. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
-Humour is important, isn't it? -Absolutely. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:44 | |
-But sometimes, again, and this is just... -But I take it too far. | 0:07:44 | 0:07:47 | |
-Do you? -Yes. -Yeah. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:49 | |
Give me an example. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:50 | |
One year when, like the team senior was downstairs, yeah, and | 0:07:50 | 0:07:54 | |
I pulled the two psychologists, yeah, to the side, and I just said | 0:07:54 | 0:07:57 | |
to 'em, like, "Oh, you know, I've had enough of this and everything," | 0:07:57 | 0:08:00 | |
and I pulled a joke knife out of me pocket and I went like this, yeah, | 0:08:00 | 0:08:04 | |
and I told one of 'em what I was going to do, yeah, | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
and she was laughing, yeah! | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
And then the one that never knew anything, she jumped, yeah? | 0:08:08 | 0:08:10 | |
And as I turned round, Maggie come up to me and went, "Dan, that | 0:08:10 | 0:08:13 | |
"was totally inappropriate, I'm going to tell Bella, | 0:08:13 | 0:08:16 | |
"I'm going to tell Ivan." Apparently Ivan heard about it and laughed! | 0:08:16 | 0:08:19 | |
Well, I was surprised... I was surprised at people being, er, | 0:08:19 | 0:08:22 | |
startled by it because it's a good practical joke, isn't it? | 0:08:22 | 0:08:25 | |
But from Maggie's prospective, she thought you'd really hurt yourself. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:28 | |
If you thought Dan was stabbing himself in the chest | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
for real and you were in charge of taking care of him, | 0:08:30 | 0:08:33 | |
-it wouldn't feel funny at the time. -No, that's the difference. -It would be frightening. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:36 | |
I said, "Jenny, I've just found this brick on the stairs. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:39 | |
"I think the building's falling apart. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
"Here you go." And I threw it, yeah! | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
She was like, "No!" and it was a polystyrene brick! | 0:08:43 | 0:08:46 | |
-So she might have thought it was a real brick. -Yeah. -That's right. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:51 | |
And then you would think you were about to get hurt, wouldn't you? | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
Yeah. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:55 | |
It was funny, though, I mean... | 0:08:55 | 0:08:57 | |
We kind of know you well, don't we? | 0:08:57 | 0:08:58 | |
So we, in a sense, know that you're... | 0:08:58 | 0:09:00 | |
you've got lots of strengths. | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
The thing that sometimes trips you up, that's inhibition, isn't it? | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
Then that's where your injury in your brain is. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
You know, the front part of the brain is the part that | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
kind of stops us from doing things. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:11 | |
So you had a head injury, is that right? | 0:09:11 | 0:09:13 | |
-Yeah. -How long ago was that? | 0:09:13 | 0:09:15 | |
It was when I was 14 in '98, yeah, | 0:09:15 | 0:09:17 | |
and, erm, I got rushed to hospital after I got hit by a Transit van. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:20 | |
-Mm. -A Transit van? -Yeah. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:22 | |
I spent about a year...just over a year in a coma and then | 0:09:22 | 0:09:25 | |
when I woke up, yeah, one of the nurses told me | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
I'd lost just over a quarter of my brain. | 0:09:27 | 0:09:30 | |
Really? | 0:09:30 | 0:09:31 | |
I mean, would the ultimate goal be for you to go out | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
-and live on your own, do you think? -Yeah, but I like... | 0:09:34 | 0:09:37 | |
Hang on. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:38 | |
Because the thing we have to remember, isn't it, is that, | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
whilst we've got to be careful that you, you know, | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
we talk about living independent, | 0:09:43 | 0:09:45 | |
that starts feeling really nice and a great idea, but I'm thinking | 0:09:45 | 0:09:48 | |
that Dan actually would do really well in a little communal setting, | 0:09:48 | 0:09:52 | |
maybe a shared house with a few other people, | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
with staff being present. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. OK. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
For most of those in rehab, the ultimate aim is to move | 0:10:09 | 0:10:12 | |
back into the outside world full time. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:15 | |
It's an enormous step, combining the physical challenges | 0:10:15 | 0:10:18 | |
of everyday life, with the emotional ones of being amidst family again. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:22 | |
In Cornwall, I was about to meet Rob Barnard. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:27 | |
-Hi, Rob. -Good morning, how you doing? | 0:10:27 | 0:10:29 | |
-I'm Louis, how you doing? -Yeah, good. | 0:10:29 | 0:10:30 | |
'After two years of residential rehab, Rob's wife Amanda had re-joined | 0:10:30 | 0:10:35 | |
'the family three days earlier, in a new house equipped with an annexe.' | 0:10:35 | 0:10:39 | |
So this is your new house? | 0:10:40 | 0:10:43 | |
Yes. This is all, yeah, the main bit. We have, erm... | 0:10:43 | 0:10:46 | |
And you've been here for how long? | 0:10:46 | 0:10:48 | |
-Er, two weeks this weekend. -Two weeks? | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
-Yeah. -And who's down here? All right? | 0:10:50 | 0:10:52 | |
So this is, er, Oscar. | 0:10:52 | 0:10:54 | |
How you doing? How old are you, Oscar? | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
-Six. -Six. | 0:10:56 | 0:10:58 | |
Six? | 0:10:58 | 0:10:59 | |
So this is Ollie. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:00 | |
-Hello. -Hi, Ollie. Louis. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:03 | |
OK. | 0:11:03 | 0:11:04 | |
Nice to meet you. How are you doing? | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
-It's nice to meet you. Good. -Everything good? | 0:11:06 | 0:11:08 | |
-Yeah. -What were you playing just then? | 0:11:08 | 0:11:11 | |
Er, I was watching YouTube. | 0:11:11 | 0:11:13 | |
-Was it Stampy? -Yes. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:15 | |
How do you know? | 0:11:15 | 0:11:16 | |
Was it Stampylongnose? Was it? | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
-Yeah. -See you later. Nice to meet you, Ollie. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:22 | |
So this is Amanda's sitting room. | 0:11:22 | 0:11:24 | |
-OK. -And at the minute, | 0:11:24 | 0:11:26 | |
where Mandy's support worker stays overnight. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:30 | |
Bedroom. Amanda's kitchen. Whether she uses it or not, I don't know. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:35 | |
She hasn't yet, so it's fine. | 0:11:35 | 0:11:37 | |
There is a lock on there, that was one of Amanda's stipulations, | 0:11:37 | 0:11:39 | |
that she wanted the door locked. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
She wanted a lock on the door? | 0:11:41 | 0:11:42 | |
Yes. Yeah. | 0:11:42 | 0:11:44 | |
What was that about? | 0:11:44 | 0:11:46 | |
Er, perhaps a bit of privacy, I think, you know, | 0:11:46 | 0:11:49 | |
she's been in...an institution for such a long time. | 0:11:49 | 0:11:53 | |
I think for her to come home | 0:11:53 | 0:11:54 | |
and have just a bit of independence, to be honest. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:57 | |
'Amanda had been a veterinary nurse before falling from a horse | 0:11:57 | 0:12:01 | |
'two years earlier.' | 0:12:01 | 0:12:03 | |
Here she is. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:04 | |
We've been going on a little tour of... | 0:12:05 | 0:12:09 | |
Magical mystery tour? | 0:12:09 | 0:12:10 | |
It was a... It was magical. That's Amanda, is it? | 0:12:10 | 0:12:13 | |
Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's Amanda in... | 0:12:13 | 0:12:17 | |
-Is that Amanda? -Yeah. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:18 | |
What was that for? | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
-ABBA Night. -Oh, yeah. | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
And where are you, Rob? | 0:12:22 | 0:12:24 | |
Er, there. | 0:12:24 | 0:12:25 | |
So that's you. And, Rob, what kind of work do you do? | 0:12:25 | 0:12:28 | |
-I'm a marine engineer. -A marine engineer? | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
-Mm. -What does that mean? | 0:12:31 | 0:12:32 | |
Attempting to fix people's boats. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:34 | |
OK. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:35 | |
So on Wednesday you came back from the unit. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:39 | |
-Yes. -You're in this new place, this new house that you've bought | 0:12:39 | 0:12:42 | |
specifically to cater to the needs that you now have. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:45 | |
How are you liking being back so far? | 0:12:45 | 0:12:48 | |
Yeah, it's good. I like it. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:50 | |
-All right? -Mm-hmm. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:51 | |
-I mean, we went on a little walk around... -Mm-hmm. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:54 | |
..and Rob had said that you were very clear | 0:12:54 | 0:12:56 | |
that you wanted your own space. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:59 | |
Yes. Mm-hmm. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:01 | |
Now, before the injury you would have shared a bed, I'm sure, | 0:13:01 | 0:13:06 | |
and, erm, not had your own little bit of the house... | 0:13:06 | 0:13:10 | |
-Yeah. -So what's changed for you? | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
I don't know, really. | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
Erm, the other house that we moved from, to come here, | 0:13:15 | 0:13:20 | |
I used to stay in the spare room and it worked, | 0:13:20 | 0:13:22 | |
it's much easier than sharing a bed with somebody who smells. | 0:13:22 | 0:13:26 | |
-Who's that? -Him. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
Come on. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:30 | |
You can't smell. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:32 | |
I can't any more but I know you do smell. | 0:13:32 | 0:13:34 | |
ROB LAUGHS | 0:13:34 | 0:13:35 | |
You grovel around in the bottom of a fishing boat in guts and wee and... | 0:13:35 | 0:13:40 | |
Eugh! And you come home and you don't shower. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:43 | |
-I do! -You don't. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:45 | |
-I do. -He doesn't. | 0:13:45 | 0:13:47 | |
And Rob had mentioned that you were quite keen | 0:13:47 | 0:13:49 | |
even for a lock on the door. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:50 | |
-Yes. -Is that right? | 0:13:50 | 0:13:51 | |
-Mm-hmm. -What was that about? | 0:13:51 | 0:13:53 | |
When I want to be by myself, I can make sure nobody just keeps | 0:13:53 | 0:13:56 | |
coming in, especially with kids. | 0:13:56 | 0:13:58 | |
It's not that I don't want to see them | 0:13:58 | 0:14:00 | |
but there are times that I want to be by myself. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:03 | |
And as I understand it...to begin with, you were saying that | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
-you'd like to come out to your own house... -Yes. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:10 | |
..and not even be IN the family home. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
-Yes. -Is that right? | 0:14:12 | 0:14:13 | |
-Mm-hmm. -Why was that? | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
Erm, I don't know, I just thought I'd be better on my own. | 0:14:15 | 0:14:18 | |
Me and my dogs and my cats. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:21 | |
Amanda having her own house isn't doable. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:23 | |
She would need a 24/7 carer. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
Now, it's cheaper for Amanda to go to a care home. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:27 | |
That's a 38-year-old going into a care home. No way. That's just... | 0:14:29 | 0:14:34 | |
I wouldn't have minded. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:37 | |
No, sadly. | 0:14:38 | 0:14:40 | |
As far as you are aware, you feel you're the same person... | 0:14:40 | 0:14:44 | |
-Yes. -..and you've got some physical things that you need to work on. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
Yes. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:49 | |
But, erm, there haven't been, sort of, in your own sense of things, | 0:14:49 | 0:14:52 | |
kind of personality changes or even brain damage, if you like? | 0:14:52 | 0:14:57 | |
-Mm. -Is that how you...? | 0:14:57 | 0:14:58 | |
-That's how I feel. -Is that how you feel about it? | 0:14:58 | 0:15:00 | |
-Mm-hmm. -Rob, is that your perspective as well? | 0:15:00 | 0:15:03 | |
No. No, I mean, Amanda's still Amanda, of course. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:07 | |
And there's still lots of Amanda, | 0:15:07 | 0:15:09 | |
I'll say the old Amanda, it's not the right word to use | 0:15:09 | 0:15:12 | |
but there's definite changes, you know, without a doubt. | 0:15:12 | 0:15:16 | |
Especially the emotional side of it, I find that quite hard. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:20 | |
Your emotions are quite flat | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
and I do notice that things annoy you more. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:26 | |
I mean, you've always said that you've lost your squishy side. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:28 | |
-Mm-hmm. -At the risk of asking you an intrusive question. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:32 | |
-So you've been together 22 years... -Mm-hmm. | 0:15:32 | 0:15:34 | |
That's a long relationship. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
-Yes. -Were you happy together? | 0:15:36 | 0:15:37 | |
-Yes. -Very. Yeah. A good team. Best buddies, it was good. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:43 | |
Yeah, it was good and it still is good, | 0:15:44 | 0:15:46 | |
just different, for the time being. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:48 | |
We'll get there. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
That's the plan. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:54 | |
Mm. | 0:15:54 | 0:15:56 | |
Yeah. | 0:15:56 | 0:15:57 | |
Stop tapping! | 0:15:58 | 0:16:00 | |
I know, I'm drumming constantly. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:01 | |
Stop it. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:02 | |
So, this is all her stuff from the unit? | 0:16:04 | 0:16:07 | |
It is, yeah. Yeah. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:08 | |
-Clothes, a coat. -Shoes, trainers. | 0:16:11 | 0:16:15 | |
Pictures! | 0:16:16 | 0:16:18 | |
Amanda, can I see that picture? That's nice, isn't it? | 0:16:18 | 0:16:21 | |
It's me and Mummy. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:23 | |
It's only been since Wednesday | 0:16:23 | 0:16:25 | |
but is it nice having Mummy back living with you? | 0:16:25 | 0:16:27 | |
Yeah. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:29 | |
-It's quite a big change, isn't it? -Yeah. | 0:16:29 | 0:16:31 | |
Give me a kiss. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:32 | |
-Properly. -Nah! | 0:16:33 | 0:16:35 | |
-Yes. -Oh! | 0:16:35 | 0:16:37 | |
That's too quick, and rubbish. | 0:16:37 | 0:16:39 | |
-Never mind. -I mind. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:41 | |
Where's Daddy? | 0:16:41 | 0:16:43 | |
-Yeah, we'll go this way around. -Yeah, you know the way, do you? | 0:16:58 | 0:17:01 | |
-Yeah. -'At Redford Court, I was with Dan | 0:17:01 | 0:17:04 | |
'and his assistant psychologist, Alice Little. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:07 | |
'We were on a therapeutic outing to a local cafe.' | 0:17:07 | 0:17:10 | |
So what's the plan? Just to get coffee? | 0:17:10 | 0:17:13 | |
Er, coffee, breakfast. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:14 | |
And then, Alice, you're here to sort of offer feedback or...? | 0:17:14 | 0:17:18 | |
-Yep. -What's the idea? What are we looking for? | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
-The idea is, Dan has such a lovable, likeable personality... -Yeah. | 0:17:20 | 0:17:23 | |
..which we absolutely love about him. | 0:17:23 | 0:17:25 | |
But I think it's fair to say, Dan, that sometimes you can be | 0:17:25 | 0:17:28 | |
-a little bit over the top... -Yeah. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:29 | |
..with your jokes. Erm, and it sometimes might put him | 0:17:29 | 0:17:32 | |
in a bit of an awkward situation with the public. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
So what we do is, we take Dan out, we let him do his thing | 0:17:34 | 0:17:37 | |
and just offer a little bit of feedback. | 0:17:37 | 0:17:39 | |
They criticise me when I get back and... | 0:17:39 | 0:17:41 | |
Hey! Criticise is the wrong word. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:45 | |
-Ah, sorry. -Advice. | 0:17:45 | 0:17:46 | |
-Positive feedback. -Positive feedback, thank you. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:49 | |
Can I have an omelette with salad and hummus | 0:17:53 | 0:17:56 | |
and a large hot chocolate, please? | 0:17:56 | 0:17:59 | |
Thank you. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:00 | |
Thank you. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:03 | |
What strikes me about you is that you're...you seem very well | 0:18:03 | 0:18:07 | |
equipped to deal with the wider world. | 0:18:07 | 0:18:09 | |
So I'm wondering what it is that's stopping | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
you in the outside... Well, from being there, basically. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:15 | |
Just like... It's loneliness, really. I mean, I've found... | 0:18:15 | 0:18:18 | |
Well, there's lots of lonely people who don't get to | 0:18:18 | 0:18:21 | |
-kind of move into Redford Court. -Yeah. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:23 | |
What do you... What you do see it as, Alice? I'm not quite getting it. | 0:18:23 | 0:18:26 | |
Erm, cos Dan was originally in the main unit, and then... | 0:18:26 | 0:18:29 | |
-At Redford Court? -At Redford Court, in the main building, | 0:18:29 | 0:18:31 | |
and then he moved into a self-contained flat. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:34 | |
Cos he had unescorted community access, | 0:18:34 | 0:18:36 | |
so he was able to go off into the community | 0:18:36 | 0:18:39 | |
whenever he wanted which is now what we're aiming to reintroduce for Dan. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:43 | |
And you got involved with the wrong sort of people | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
and it led to a bit of... a bit of drugs. | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
-Yeah. -You did, Dan? Got involved with the wrong people? | 0:18:48 | 0:18:52 | |
What were they like? | 0:18:52 | 0:18:53 | |
They were nice. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:56 | |
One of them was a girl I started to see, yeah? | 0:18:57 | 0:19:02 | |
And two weeks into the relationship, I noticed that she was smoking | 0:19:02 | 0:19:06 | |
and selling it, like weed and stuff, yeah? | 0:19:06 | 0:19:08 | |
And then I just started smoking after a couple of months | 0:19:08 | 0:19:11 | |
of knowing this woman and I started buying off her and then, like, | 0:19:11 | 0:19:14 | |
she had two kids so I gave them my Xbox and things like that. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:17 | |
Do you remember your life before the accident quite clearly? | 0:19:17 | 0:19:21 | |
Yeah, I used to do boxing and I used to like running. | 0:19:21 | 0:19:23 | |
You liked running? Were you good at school? | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
No, no, I was always bunking. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:28 | |
-Bunking off? -Yeah. | 0:19:28 | 0:19:30 | |
I got moved to prison when I was about 18 and a half. | 0:19:30 | 0:19:33 | |
What for? | 0:19:33 | 0:19:34 | |
Erm, robbery, nicking bags and nicking mobile phones, shoplifting. | 0:19:34 | 0:19:38 | |
And you were in a coma for a year and a half, you came out, | 0:19:38 | 0:19:41 | |
you had disabilities associated with the brain injury, | 0:19:41 | 0:19:45 | |
erm, and then you went into nicking bags? | 0:19:45 | 0:19:48 | |
-How did that happen? -Crack. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:51 | |
Some guy introduced it to me one night in a hotel | 0:19:54 | 0:19:57 | |
and it was nice so I started spending all my money on that, | 0:19:57 | 0:20:01 | |
and when I first went to prison, I was about 18 and a half, yeah? | 0:20:01 | 0:20:04 | |
I weighed four and a half stone. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
You weighed four and a half stone? | 0:20:06 | 0:20:08 | |
-Yeah. -When you were 18? | 0:20:08 | 0:20:09 | |
Yeah. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:10 | |
Yeah, it's not the life I want to live, like. | 0:20:14 | 0:20:16 | |
Higher or lower than a queen? Higher or lower? | 0:20:33 | 0:20:36 | |
'Back on the unit and my plan was to start settling into the daily | 0:20:38 | 0:20:41 | |
'life of rehab.' | 0:20:41 | 0:20:43 | |
THEY SHOUT OUT | 0:20:43 | 0:20:44 | |
It's a two! | 0:20:44 | 0:20:47 | |
'Most of the residents were there because of car crashes, | 0:20:47 | 0:20:50 | |
'falls, strokes and aneurysms and had a broad spectrum of abilities. | 0:20:50 | 0:20:55 | |
'I was curious to meet someone who'd been there for many years and who | 0:20:57 | 0:21:01 | |
'depended on round-the-clock support in order to perform daily tasks.' | 0:21:01 | 0:21:05 | |
Hello. | 0:21:05 | 0:21:06 | |
Hello. You must be nice to me, otherwise I cry! | 0:21:06 | 0:21:10 | |
You know me too well! | 0:21:10 | 0:21:12 | |
'15 years into her rehab, with eight of them | 0:21:14 | 0:21:17 | |
'at Redford Court, Natalie Smith is one of the unit's veterans.' | 0:21:17 | 0:21:21 | |
How are you? I'm Louis. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:24 | |
Hello, Louis. | 0:21:24 | 0:21:25 | |
Nice to meet you. | 0:21:25 | 0:21:27 | |
Oh, that's nice. | 0:21:27 | 0:21:29 | |
You got a kiss. You have to get a kiss when you come to this house. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:32 | |
Very nice. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:35 | |
I'm Welsh, you see... | 0:21:35 | 0:21:37 | |
Shall we go in? | 0:21:38 | 0:21:39 | |
So we're making a documentary... | 0:21:41 | 0:21:43 | |
About people's rooms or what people say, what they do...? | 0:21:43 | 0:21:47 | |
About recovery from head injury. | 0:21:47 | 0:21:49 | |
Oh, a movie, oh! I'm doing a movie. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
Which... I think you had a head injury, is that right? | 0:21:52 | 0:21:54 | |
Oh, God, yes, and it's terrible | 0:21:54 | 0:21:56 | |
but I don't give a monkey's, I just get on with life and enjoy it. | 0:21:56 | 0:21:59 | |
-Mm. -To that extent of enjoyment. | 0:21:59 | 0:22:01 | |
Mm, do you remember what was... what was the nature of the injury? | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
Well, I fell, didn't I? I fell...somewhere. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:07 | |
SHE MUMBLES | 0:22:07 | 0:22:09 | |
You can't remember? | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
No. | 0:22:12 | 0:22:14 | |
Is there anything you wanted to show me | 0:22:14 | 0:22:16 | |
in the room that is special to you? | 0:22:16 | 0:22:19 | |
Doing my old paintings. That. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:22 | |
Let's see that. What's going on there? | 0:22:22 | 0:22:26 | |
You look like you're welding. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:27 | |
-Yeah. -Making an artwork. Are you an artist? | 0:22:27 | 0:22:31 | |
I'm a piss artist! | 0:22:31 | 0:22:32 | |
-Come on. -But you know what I mean? | 0:22:35 | 0:22:36 | |
-That shows some artistic talent, that does. -Yeah, that's... | 0:22:36 | 0:22:39 | |
Did you study art? Did you study art? | 0:22:39 | 0:22:41 | |
I studied art, yeah, an art degree, I've got an art degree. | 0:22:41 | 0:22:44 | |
You know, I've just seen, up on the poster, it says "My Goals" and | 0:22:44 | 0:22:47 | |
"My Recommendations". Would we be allowed to look at the...? | 0:22:47 | 0:22:50 | |
Oh, of course you can! Come on. | 0:22:50 | 0:22:52 | |
Let's go over there, then. | 0:22:52 | 0:22:53 | |
"My Goals" says, "I want to leave Redford Court | 0:22:55 | 0:22:57 | |
"and live with my mum, to help her." | 0:22:57 | 0:22:59 | |
-Yeah, my mum. -So one of your goals is actually to leave here. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:03 | |
To leave, of course, yeah. | 0:23:03 | 0:23:04 | |
-To move on. -And move on. I'd like to do that. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
-Sue, did you hear that? -Yes, yeah. | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
So that is a goal. That's a therapeutic goal that is being worked... | 0:23:08 | 0:23:11 | |
That would be a goal but it wouldn't be actual for Natalie, | 0:23:11 | 0:23:14 | |
to move back home to her mum. | 0:23:14 | 0:23:16 | |
It's unrealistic, really, that goal, | 0:23:16 | 0:23:19 | |
although she would maybe in her, you know, her feelings. | 0:23:19 | 0:23:22 | |
"We recognise that Ms Smith has a number of inappropriate behaviours." | 0:23:22 | 0:23:27 | |
I fart a lot! | 0:23:27 | 0:23:29 | |
-But I think we all do that. -Everyone does that. | 0:23:30 | 0:23:32 | |
-I know. -"Including verbal, gestural and physical behaviours." | 0:23:32 | 0:23:36 | |
I do muck around. I like this gentleman here... | 0:23:36 | 0:23:41 | |
We've lost her. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:44 | |
Definitely. A nice-looking man, you see. | 0:23:44 | 0:23:47 | |
Where... | 0:23:49 | 0:23:51 | |
SHE MUTTERS | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
I can't be rude to people. I don't think that's right, myself. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:58 | |
Don't be rude to people, yeah. | 0:23:58 | 0:24:00 | |
Yeah, I...verbally be... inappropriate. | 0:24:00 | 0:24:04 | |
Verbally inappropriate, things like that. | 0:24:04 | 0:24:06 | |
Which is what? | 0:24:06 | 0:24:08 | |
I know exactly what that is, love, and you do as well. | 0:24:08 | 0:24:12 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:24:12 | 0:24:13 | |
It is. Shake my hand, you little chunky monkey, cheeky monkey. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:17 | |
See you later. Lovely to see you. | 0:24:18 | 0:24:21 | |
-Bye, love, bye. -Bye, gorgeous. | 0:24:21 | 0:24:22 | |
Bye. Ah, "Bye, gorgeous." | 0:24:22 | 0:24:25 | |
'Natalie and her family had given permission for Sue, | 0:24:25 | 0:24:28 | |
'her support worker, to disclose more about Natalie and her injury.' | 0:24:28 | 0:24:32 | |
There's so much warmth there, isn't there? | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
-Ah, she's just full of love and warmth for... -Yeah. | 0:24:34 | 0:24:37 | |
..others. She really is. She's very, very caring. | 0:24:37 | 0:24:40 | |
I suppose the scary point is, one could imagine | 0:24:40 | 0:24:43 | |
out in the community, unscrupulous people... | 0:24:43 | 0:24:46 | |
-Of course, yeah. -..could take advantage of her. | 0:24:46 | 0:24:48 | |
She'd be too vulnerable to live out in the community. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:51 | |
She's dependent on support 24/7. | 0:24:51 | 0:24:56 | |
She said she had a brain injury of some kind. | 0:24:56 | 0:24:59 | |
-Yeah. -Did she say she had a knock on the head or something? | 0:24:59 | 0:25:01 | |
Yes, that's what Natalie says. | 0:25:01 | 0:25:03 | |
Yeah, but that's actually not quite right, is it? | 0:25:03 | 0:25:06 | |
No, Natalie, erm, attempted suicide with overdosing of... | 0:25:06 | 0:25:10 | |
She's a type-1 diabetic. | 0:25:10 | 0:25:13 | |
So she injected herself with too much insulin. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:17 | |
Unfortunately, it caused a brain injury. Yeah. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:23 | |
How old was she? | 0:25:23 | 0:25:25 | |
Natalie was 33. | 0:25:25 | 0:25:26 | |
She was 33 when it happened? | 0:25:26 | 0:25:28 | |
Yeah. Yeah. So she was still a young lady, you know. | 0:25:28 | 0:25:32 | |
So she's forgotten that? | 0:25:32 | 0:25:33 | |
That's completely forgotten, yeah. | 0:25:33 | 0:25:35 | |
And I think, even if you... if you were to remind Natalie every | 0:25:35 | 0:25:39 | |
week about what she did to herself, she'd still forget. | 0:25:39 | 0:25:43 | |
SUPPORTERS SHOUT | 0:25:55 | 0:25:57 | |
Oh, my God, 4-3. How about that? | 0:26:00 | 0:26:04 | |
'I was back with Earl, the young man I'd met on my first day in Leeds. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:09 | |
'He spends his weekends away from the unit, at home | 0:26:10 | 0:26:13 | |
'with his family in Sheffield. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:15 | |
'He and his mum, and his friend Warren, were | 0:26:15 | 0:26:17 | |
'showing their support for Earl's little brother, Romane.' | 0:26:17 | 0:26:21 | |
Romy, Romy, keep up, keep going. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:24 | |
Do you know the score? | 0:26:24 | 0:26:26 | |
3-0 to them. | 0:26:26 | 0:26:28 | |
SHE SHOUTS ENCOURAGEMENT | 0:26:28 | 0:26:30 | |
Come on, Mane. | 0:26:30 | 0:26:31 | |
Stronger! Hit it! | 0:26:31 | 0:26:33 | |
Ref! Fuck off! | 0:26:33 | 0:26:36 | |
Earl! Earl, I've told you. | 0:26:36 | 0:26:38 | |
-No, but... -Earl, Earl, please, we're with kids. | 0:26:38 | 0:26:40 | |
I didn't mean to swear. | 0:26:40 | 0:26:42 | |
-That's it! Nice. -Pass! | 0:26:42 | 0:26:45 | |
-It's in. Yes! -Yeah! | 0:26:45 | 0:26:47 | |
Well played! That's better! | 0:26:47 | 0:26:50 | |
That was good. So were you two at school together? | 0:26:50 | 0:26:54 | |
-Yeah. -And what do you do now, Warren? | 0:26:54 | 0:26:57 | |
-Security. -Security? | 0:26:57 | 0:26:58 | |
-Yeah. -Like, my mum treats him as a son. | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
Yeah. So when the accident happened and that... | 0:27:01 | 0:27:05 | |
he took it badly and stuff. | 0:27:05 | 0:27:07 | |
He really struggled hard. Because of my, erm, brain injury, | 0:27:07 | 0:27:11 | |
I annoy him a lot of the time with some of the immature stuff I do. | 0:27:11 | 0:27:14 | |
We talked to Patricia about this a couple of days ago | 0:27:14 | 0:27:17 | |
and she was talking about, erm, Earl as having a slightly | 0:27:17 | 0:27:22 | |
different personality since the accident, in some respects. | 0:27:22 | 0:27:26 | |
Would you agree with that? | 0:27:26 | 0:27:28 | |
-Yeah, yeah. -In what way? | 0:27:28 | 0:27:30 | |
Just the way he, like, acts towards people and stuff like that. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:34 | |
He gets mad with, like, his mum a lot, | 0:27:34 | 0:27:37 | |
-like easy, a lot. -She's annoying, she does my head in. | 0:27:37 | 0:27:39 | |
-She's only trying to help him out. Before, he wouldn't do stuff like that. -She treats me like a kid. | 0:27:39 | 0:27:44 | |
-Not in the way he does now. -She treats me like a kid. | 0:27:44 | 0:27:46 | |
Cos you act like a kid. | 0:27:46 | 0:27:47 | |
'Back at her house, and Patricia had laid on lunch.' | 0:27:49 | 0:27:53 | |
So what's in there, Mum, can you just tell us, please? | 0:27:53 | 0:27:56 | |
Curry mutton, it's, er, a favourite Caribbean dish, | 0:27:56 | 0:28:00 | |
Jamaican dish. | 0:28:00 | 0:28:01 | |
And then you can take them over to the table and introduce Louis, | 0:28:01 | 0:28:05 | |
but I'm sure he's had Caribbean food before. | 0:28:05 | 0:28:08 | |
Erm, I haven't had it as much as I'd like. | 0:28:08 | 0:28:11 | |
'I was hoping to get a little deeper into Earl's story. | 0:28:11 | 0:28:14 | |
'I'd learned that it had been a friend of his that had died | 0:28:14 | 0:28:18 | |
'in the car crash. | 0:28:18 | 0:28:19 | |
'I was also curious to see his behaviour at home.' | 0:28:19 | 0:28:22 | |
-It's delicious. I tell you what, it's so tender. -Thanks. | 0:28:22 | 0:28:26 | |
This is Earl at college on his second year. | 0:28:26 | 0:28:29 | |
Is it? | 0:28:29 | 0:28:30 | |
Yeah. | 0:28:30 | 0:28:32 | |
Did he used to cook for you before the injury? | 0:28:32 | 0:28:34 | |
-Yes. -Yeah. | 0:28:34 | 0:28:35 | |
He learnt me to cook some nice dishes, | 0:28:35 | 0:28:37 | |
like beef bourguignon and Dauphinoise potatoes, which I've | 0:28:37 | 0:28:41 | |
never done in my life, and home-made gravy and not gravy granules. | 0:28:41 | 0:28:44 | |
You couldn't go back to home-made gravy from | 0:28:44 | 0:28:46 | |
once Earl learnt to cook at college. | 0:28:46 | 0:28:48 | |
I put a mirepoix on - that's carrots, celery, onion, leek. | 0:28:48 | 0:28:52 | |
He doesn't do all that any more, he's not capable. | 0:28:52 | 0:28:55 | |
But, hopefully, with time. | 0:28:55 | 0:28:57 | |
'For afters, there was FIFA 15 in the front room for the youngsters, | 0:28:59 | 0:29:03 | |
'while I had a moment alone with Patricia.' | 0:29:03 | 0:29:06 | |
Funny! | 0:29:06 | 0:29:08 | |
There's Warren. | 0:29:08 | 0:29:10 | |
-There's Earl. -There's Earl. | 0:29:13 | 0:29:15 | |
That was when he was 18. | 0:29:15 | 0:29:16 | |
They all went on holiday. | 0:29:16 | 0:29:18 | |
That's a nice one. | 0:29:19 | 0:29:21 | |
It is, he's very young, isn't he? | 0:29:21 | 0:29:22 | |
When you said before, you said, "My son's gone," or, | 0:29:24 | 0:29:27 | |
"I don't recognise him, it's a different person." | 0:29:27 | 0:29:29 | |
It is. | 0:29:29 | 0:29:30 | |
The only thing that's the same about Earl is his looks | 0:29:30 | 0:29:33 | |
and then his eyes aren't the same cos | 0:29:33 | 0:29:35 | |
when I look in his eyes, he's got a dead look behind his eyes. | 0:29:35 | 0:29:38 | |
Does that mean your feelings have changed a bit? | 0:29:38 | 0:29:40 | |
No. I love him just the same, if not even more because... | 0:29:40 | 0:29:44 | |
-Even though... -Yeah. -..it's a different person, in your view? | 0:29:44 | 0:29:47 | |
He's a different person but he's still my son. | 0:29:47 | 0:29:50 | |
He behaves... I don't like his behaviour. | 0:29:50 | 0:29:53 | |
I don't like his actions at times but I love my son | 0:29:53 | 0:29:55 | |
and I always will, regardless. | 0:29:55 | 0:29:57 | |
I've just got to keep strong and give him | 0:29:59 | 0:30:00 | |
a strong foundation to keep learning | 0:30:00 | 0:30:03 | |
and, hopefully, he'll get it and if he | 0:30:03 | 0:30:05 | |
doesn't get it, I'll just continue | 0:30:05 | 0:30:06 | |
to do what I'm doing until my days are done | 0:30:06 | 0:30:09 | |
and then his sister will look after him, cos we've got no choice. | 0:30:09 | 0:30:12 | |
How much can you say about the accident and how it happened? | 0:30:13 | 0:30:17 | |
Who was in the vehicle, er, when it crashed? | 0:30:17 | 0:30:20 | |
There was Earl in the car... | 0:30:20 | 0:30:22 | |
Earl, who was driving? | 0:30:22 | 0:30:23 | |
Yeah. Erm, his friend and his ex-girlfriend. | 0:30:23 | 0:30:27 | |
Earl pulled in front of an ambulance and clipped the kerb, | 0:30:29 | 0:30:33 | |
lost control of the car. | 0:30:33 | 0:30:35 | |
The car went across the road. | 0:30:35 | 0:30:37 | |
He ended up going down on the tramlines | 0:30:37 | 0:30:39 | |
and it wrapped round the tramline pole. | 0:30:39 | 0:30:42 | |
Am I right in thinking he was going too fast? | 0:30:43 | 0:30:46 | |
Yes, I'm made to believe he was doing about 50. | 0:30:46 | 0:30:48 | |
Mm. | 0:30:48 | 0:30:49 | |
He'd only been driving two and a half weeks as well, himself. | 0:30:49 | 0:30:53 | |
So you thought you were doing all the right things | 0:30:54 | 0:30:57 | |
but, obviously, sometimes you're not. | 0:30:57 | 0:30:59 | |
You think there's something that you could have done that might | 0:31:01 | 0:31:04 | |
-have averted it? -Yes. | 0:31:04 | 0:31:05 | |
-In what way? -Not bought him the car. It's that simple. | 0:31:05 | 0:31:10 | |
Why are you in here, crying on camera, talking shit? | 0:31:16 | 0:31:19 | |
Everyone can see you on camera crying, like, right sad, | 0:31:19 | 0:31:21 | |
feeling sorry for you. | 0:31:21 | 0:31:23 | |
And this is what he does all the time, Louis. | 0:31:23 | 0:31:25 | |
-What do you think -BLEEP -mum's going to think when she sees it? | 0:31:25 | 0:31:28 | |
-And -BLEEP -family? -I'm not crying about that, Earl... | 0:31:28 | 0:31:30 | |
-"She's in the kitchen crying and our son's dead." -He asked me a question. | 0:31:30 | 0:31:34 | |
Earl, you're leaping to all kinds of conclusion about what | 0:31:34 | 0:31:37 | |
Patricia's been saying, | 0:31:37 | 0:31:39 | |
and, actually, she hasn't done anything embarrassing. | 0:31:39 | 0:31:44 | |
I'm going back tonight, I don't want to stay any more. | 0:31:44 | 0:31:46 | |
I don't really want to stay here. | 0:31:46 | 0:31:48 | |
I can't put up with the bullshit no more. | 0:31:48 | 0:31:50 | |
Get my mum to take me back, I'm not staying here. | 0:31:50 | 0:31:52 | |
Did you just lose at FIFA, is that what happened? | 0:31:52 | 0:31:55 | |
Did you come in here because you just lost at FIFA? | 0:31:55 | 0:31:58 | |
No, I was... | 0:31:58 | 0:31:59 | |
Did you just lose? Tell me honestly. | 0:31:59 | 0:32:00 | |
No, I didn't... Yeah. | 0:32:00 | 0:32:02 | |
So you came in here in a mood and took it out on your mum? | 0:32:02 | 0:32:06 | |
Yeah. | 0:32:06 | 0:32:08 | |
Maybe you want to say sorry to your mum. | 0:32:11 | 0:32:13 | |
What for? | 0:32:13 | 0:32:15 | |
For coming in here and...making her feel bad. | 0:32:15 | 0:32:20 | |
I didn't make her feel bad. | 0:32:20 | 0:32:22 | |
Erm, sorry, Mum. | 0:32:25 | 0:32:28 | |
'For all its turbulence and the turmoil caused by his injury, | 0:32:36 | 0:32:40 | |
'what was most striking about Earl and Patricia's relationship | 0:32:40 | 0:32:43 | |
'was that it was still so strong and unconditional.' | 0:32:43 | 0:32:46 | |
'I was heading back to Cornwall, to see Amanda and Rob. | 0:32:55 | 0:32:58 | |
'I was curious how they were getting on with their new arrangement | 0:32:59 | 0:33:03 | |
'with Amanda back at home, living in an annexe.' | 0:33:03 | 0:33:06 | |
Hello? | 0:33:08 | 0:33:09 | |
'I'd arranged to spend a Sunday with them.' | 0:33:09 | 0:33:12 | |
-Hi, Amanda. -Hello. | 0:33:12 | 0:33:13 | |
-How are you doing? -I'm making cakes. I'm fine, thank you. | 0:33:13 | 0:33:15 | |
-And, Rob, how you doing, Rob? -Doing all right. | 0:33:15 | 0:33:17 | |
Good to see you. | 0:33:17 | 0:33:19 | |
You OK? | 0:33:19 | 0:33:20 | |
Yeah, good. | 0:33:20 | 0:33:22 | |
-Hi. -How long is it since I saw you all? | 0:33:22 | 0:33:24 | |
-Is it two weeks? -Two weeks, I think. Yeah. | 0:33:24 | 0:33:26 | |
-How's it been going? -Good. | 0:33:26 | 0:33:28 | |
Erm, yeah, not bad. It's been difficult, hasn't it? | 0:33:28 | 0:33:31 | |
Difficult, in what way? | 0:33:33 | 0:33:35 | |
Erm, it just... We sort of had the idea that Amanda was going to | 0:33:35 | 0:33:39 | |
be in the annexe, that was her sort of, erm, | 0:33:39 | 0:33:43 | |
pre-requisite for coming home, | 0:33:43 | 0:33:46 | |
was that she would... That she would stay in the annexe but she hasn't. | 0:33:46 | 0:33:49 | |
So it's made it a little bit difficult. | 0:33:49 | 0:33:51 | |
Amanda's...not brilliant with the boys just because she's got a... | 0:33:51 | 0:33:56 | |
bit of a short fuse and, as she said, she's lost her squidgy bit. | 0:33:56 | 0:34:01 | |
So she'll go from being super, super nice to - pow - | 0:34:01 | 0:34:04 | |
straight in and all singing and dancing, lots of shouting. | 0:34:04 | 0:34:09 | |
The cakes are ready for you to decorate. | 0:34:09 | 0:34:11 | |
-OK. -Come on, Osc. | 0:34:11 | 0:34:13 | |
I'll decorate them with blocks. | 0:34:13 | 0:34:15 | |
I mean, Ollie said to me | 0:34:15 | 0:34:17 | |
the other day, he feels a little bit like Mummy's an intruder | 0:34:17 | 0:34:20 | |
and he thinks Mummy's in there somewhere and she can't get out. | 0:34:20 | 0:34:24 | |
-So... -I'm back. | 0:34:24 | 0:34:25 | |
He's back. | 0:34:25 | 0:34:27 | |
All right, mate? | 0:34:27 | 0:34:28 | |
We were saying that... You said you found it a bit hard with | 0:34:28 | 0:34:31 | |
Mummy being back. Why was that? | 0:34:31 | 0:34:33 | |
Cos she's been shouting at me nonstop. Oh, a blue tit! | 0:34:33 | 0:34:37 | |
Sorry. Er, yeah, she's been shouting at me nonstop. | 0:34:37 | 0:34:40 | |
-Yeah, well, I can see that would be hard. -Yeah. | 0:34:42 | 0:34:44 | |
Because of the... because of the brain injury. | 0:34:44 | 0:34:46 | |
Yeah. | 0:34:46 | 0:34:48 | |
Oscar, are you hungry? | 0:34:48 | 0:34:50 | |
No, thank you. I'm not hungry. | 0:34:50 | 0:34:54 | |
Thank you. | 0:34:56 | 0:34:57 | |
How do you feel now about being back? | 0:34:57 | 0:35:00 | |
-It's nice. -Do you feel it was the right move? | 0:35:00 | 0:35:02 | |
I get to see my kids every day, even if they don't want to see me. | 0:35:02 | 0:35:06 | |
-Hey! -You wouldn't cuddle me last night for bed. | 0:35:07 | 0:35:11 | |
Bluh-bluh-bluh! | 0:35:11 | 0:35:12 | |
That made me sad. | 0:35:14 | 0:35:16 | |
I know, but... | 0:35:16 | 0:35:18 | |
"I know but," what? | 0:35:18 | 0:35:19 | |
I was already in bed, like snuggled up really, really, really tight. | 0:35:19 | 0:35:23 | |
I only wanted a cuddle. | 0:35:23 | 0:35:24 | |
Do you care that you made me sad? | 0:35:24 | 0:35:26 | |
Umm... | 0:35:26 | 0:35:28 | |
It's not that, it's... Oh! | 0:35:28 | 0:35:31 | |
He wouldn't give me a cuddle night-night. | 0:35:33 | 0:35:35 | |
No, no, it's not that, it's... | 0:35:35 | 0:35:36 | |
Do you still love me? | 0:35:38 | 0:35:39 | |
Yes! Why wouldn't I? | 0:35:39 | 0:35:41 | |
Cos you don't behave like you do. | 0:35:42 | 0:35:44 | |
But you've enjoyed being back with the kids and...? | 0:35:48 | 0:35:51 | |
Yes, and my dogs. I missed the dogs. | 0:35:51 | 0:35:56 | |
My poor Diesel got old while I was away. | 0:35:56 | 0:35:59 | |
He was normal when I left and now he's a proper dodgy old bugger. | 0:36:01 | 0:36:05 | |
Don't swear. | 0:36:05 | 0:36:06 | |
Oh, all right, boss! | 0:36:06 | 0:36:09 | |
I'm the boss! | 0:36:09 | 0:36:10 | |
You're not, you're a pest. | 0:36:10 | 0:36:12 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:36:12 | 0:36:13 | |
Oh, little chip. | 0:36:25 | 0:36:27 | |
Nice! | 0:36:33 | 0:36:35 | |
I only got one bounce. | 0:36:35 | 0:36:37 | |
Are you in a sort of care-taking relationship | 0:36:37 | 0:36:39 | |
or are you in a sort of husband-wife relationship? | 0:36:39 | 0:36:42 | |
Now? We have no husband and wife relationship any more. | 0:36:42 | 0:36:46 | |
There's no cuddles, kissing, I love yous, anything like that. | 0:36:46 | 0:36:49 | |
That's gone. | 0:36:49 | 0:36:51 | |
You know, that's gone since the accident, you know. | 0:36:51 | 0:36:53 | |
I can't say to Amanda, "Cor, I've had a rough day," you know, at work | 0:36:53 | 0:36:57 | |
cos she'll just say, | 0:36:57 | 0:36:59 | |
"And? What about me? I had a head injury." | 0:36:59 | 0:37:02 | |
You said she's still just as intelligent as she was. | 0:37:02 | 0:37:05 | |
Yeah, absolutely, yeah. | 0:37:05 | 0:37:06 | |
But what? | 0:37:06 | 0:37:07 | |
The application of intelligence, they call it. | 0:37:07 | 0:37:10 | |
So she's super clever, super... As she was before. | 0:37:10 | 0:37:12 | |
There's no loss of intelligence | 0:37:12 | 0:37:14 | |
but it's applying that intelligence to something. | 0:37:14 | 0:37:17 | |
And, yes, it's the application. | 0:37:17 | 0:37:19 | |
She doesn't see herself as having these issues, | 0:37:19 | 0:37:22 | |
these impairments? | 0:37:22 | 0:37:24 | |
No. Yeah, that's right, an impairment. No. | 0:37:24 | 0:37:26 | |
She can see physically and she knows that her left arm, left leg | 0:37:26 | 0:37:30 | |
and her speech which, you know, when you talk to her, that's the problem. | 0:37:30 | 0:37:34 | |
But she has no insight into the effect it's had upon the boys | 0:37:34 | 0:37:39 | |
and herself and me and the family and all that sort of thing. | 0:37:39 | 0:37:42 | |
You know, we've gotta give it a go. | 0:37:42 | 0:37:44 | |
If it doesn't work then it doesn't work | 0:37:44 | 0:37:46 | |
but at least I can... | 0:37:46 | 0:37:48 | |
At least, if it doesn't work, we've tried every possible thing | 0:37:48 | 0:37:50 | |
we could have done. And if it doesn't work | 0:37:50 | 0:37:52 | |
then we'll just have to see what happens, you know, then. | 0:37:52 | 0:37:55 | |
Hello. | 0:38:13 | 0:38:15 | |
Smile. Go on, smile. Look at that! | 0:38:15 | 0:38:18 | |
'I was back to see Natalie.' | 0:38:18 | 0:38:20 | |
-Nice to see you. -You're looking great. | 0:38:20 | 0:38:22 | |
-How are you? Thank you. -Come here. -Thank you. | 0:38:22 | 0:38:24 | |
Shall we do your whiteboard? | 0:38:24 | 0:38:26 | |
-Yeah. -Before breakfast, yeah? | 0:38:26 | 0:38:28 | |
-I know, that would be a good idea, that would be. -That's fine. | 0:38:28 | 0:38:30 | |
OK, can you tell me what day it is today, Nat? | 0:38:30 | 0:38:33 | |
Monday? | 0:38:34 | 0:38:36 | |
Yesterday was Thursday, today is? | 0:38:36 | 0:38:39 | |
Friday. | 0:38:39 | 0:38:41 | |
That's right. Well done. | 0:38:41 | 0:38:43 | |
-And the date? -2014? | 0:38:44 | 0:38:47 | |
-The date? -'15? '15? | 0:38:47 | 0:38:50 | |
Yesterday was the 10th, today is? | 0:38:50 | 0:38:52 | |
-The 11th. -Yeah. And can you tell me what month this is? | 0:38:52 | 0:38:57 | |
-Thanksgiving? -De...? | 0:38:58 | 0:39:00 | |
..cember. | 0:39:00 | 0:39:01 | |
So what makes this date today special, Natalie? | 0:39:01 | 0:39:05 | |
It makes it special because it's a special time of the year, | 0:39:05 | 0:39:08 | |
where people can congregate or whatever they want to go to. | 0:39:08 | 0:39:12 | |
Yes, but today, especially this day, is? | 0:39:12 | 0:39:15 | |
My birthday. | 0:39:17 | 0:39:18 | |
It's your birthday. It's your birthday! | 0:39:18 | 0:39:22 | |
It's Natalie's birthday today. | 0:39:22 | 0:39:24 | |
Happy birthday, Natalie. | 0:39:24 | 0:39:26 | |
Happy birthday, Nat. | 0:39:26 | 0:39:27 | |
'For Natalie's birthday, we were off to North Wales.' | 0:39:33 | 0:39:36 | |
Nicky! | 0:39:39 | 0:39:41 | |
Hiya, I'm Louis. | 0:39:41 | 0:39:43 | |
'Natalie's Mum, Chris, was hosting a small party.' | 0:39:43 | 0:39:47 | |
# Penblwydd Hapus i ti | 0:39:47 | 0:39:50 | |
# Penblwydd Hapus i ti | 0:39:50 | 0:39:53 | |
# Penblwydd Hapus i Natalie | 0:39:53 | 0:39:57 | |
# Penblwydd Hapus i ti. # | 0:39:57 | 0:40:00 | |
THEY CHEER | 0:40:00 | 0:40:02 | |
'For me, it was also a chance to get to know the old Natalie.' | 0:40:04 | 0:40:09 | |
What was she like before the injury? | 0:40:09 | 0:40:12 | |
Very gregarious. She had ups and downs, you know. | 0:40:12 | 0:40:16 | |
When she was up she was very...you know, you can see what | 0:40:16 | 0:40:19 | |
she's like, she's almost manic. | 0:40:19 | 0:40:21 | |
Er, lots of ideas and... | 0:40:21 | 0:40:24 | |
Artistic? | 0:40:24 | 0:40:26 | |
Yes, in all sorts of ways. That's when she developed diabetes. | 0:40:26 | 0:40:31 | |
She looks like something out of Belsen, you know, | 0:40:31 | 0:40:33 | |
lost a lot of weight. | 0:40:33 | 0:40:35 | |
How old was she when she got married? | 0:40:35 | 0:40:38 | |
She got married in 1997, so she was 30, was she? | 0:40:38 | 0:40:42 | |
30, yeah. | 0:40:42 | 0:40:43 | |
Well, yes, but it didn't last | 0:40:43 | 0:40:45 | |
and it just sent her a bit off her trolley, as you might say. | 0:40:45 | 0:40:50 | |
Yeah. | 0:40:50 | 0:40:51 | |
Do you mean she had a sort of depressive episode? | 0:40:51 | 0:40:53 | |
Yes. I'd seen it coming, | 0:40:53 | 0:40:55 | |
the writing was on the wall as far as I was concerned. | 0:40:55 | 0:40:58 | |
In what way? | 0:40:58 | 0:41:00 | |
Well, I could tell that she wasn't stable and well. | 0:41:00 | 0:41:03 | |
She was with friends and they went out for the day. | 0:41:03 | 0:41:09 | |
She said she didn't feel well | 0:41:09 | 0:41:10 | |
and when they came back, she was in a coma. | 0:41:10 | 0:41:14 | |
But they didn't recognise it, they thought she was asleep. | 0:41:14 | 0:41:16 | |
So she was... She was really very, very poorly | 0:41:16 | 0:41:20 | |
when they realised that she was in a coma. | 0:41:20 | 0:41:24 | |
Hello, Mum. | 0:41:24 | 0:41:25 | |
Hello, Nat. What are you wearing this for? | 0:41:25 | 0:41:28 | |
Cos I like it. | 0:41:28 | 0:41:30 | |
We're looking at some old photos. Where's that nice one? | 0:41:30 | 0:41:35 | |
-That's when I got married. -Yeah. | 0:41:35 | 0:41:37 | |
Married! | 0:41:37 | 0:41:39 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:41:39 | 0:41:41 | |
Got rid of the husband, though! | 0:41:41 | 0:41:43 | |
Why bother? | 0:41:43 | 0:41:45 | |
Well, isn't that a lovely photo? | 0:41:45 | 0:41:48 | |
Of me with my high heels and all that stuff. | 0:41:48 | 0:41:51 | |
Mm. Do you remember it? | 0:41:51 | 0:41:52 | |
-I remember it. -Was it... Was it a happy day? | 0:41:52 | 0:41:55 | |
It was a lovely day when I got married. | 0:41:55 | 0:41:58 | |
I thought it would be perfection but it wasn't. | 0:41:58 | 0:42:00 | |
Well, nothing's perfection, is it? | 0:42:00 | 0:42:02 | |
Nah! Load of codswallop. Isn't it? | 0:42:02 | 0:42:06 | |
You have to deal with what you've got, that's what I say it is. | 0:42:06 | 0:42:09 | |
-It's been 15 years since the injury... -Yeah, yeah. | 0:42:09 | 0:42:12 | |
-..which is quite a long time, isn't it? -Yeah. Yeah. | 0:42:12 | 0:42:14 | |
How different would you say you are since the injury? | 0:42:14 | 0:42:19 | |
I feel a lot better now. | 0:42:19 | 0:42:21 | |
-Mm. -Cos I have the injury, so what? It happened, so what? It's gone now. | 0:42:21 | 0:42:27 | |
It's a brooder, that's it. | 0:42:27 | 0:42:29 | |
I don't need to worry about it any more. | 0:42:29 | 0:42:32 | |
I would say that Natalie is the same person. | 0:42:32 | 0:42:36 | |
She's my Natalie. The traits, the characteristics, | 0:42:36 | 0:42:40 | |
the nature is still the same. | 0:42:40 | 0:42:42 | |
I mean, we know she's got a brain injury | 0:42:42 | 0:42:44 | |
and that presents a lot of problems. | 0:42:44 | 0:42:46 | |
But she's still the same Natalie and she's a... | 0:42:46 | 0:42:49 | |
NATALIE CACKLES | 0:42:49 | 0:42:50 | |
She's a loving, caring person and she can light up a room, yes. | 0:42:50 | 0:42:54 | |
First of all, I'd just like to say that it was an amazingly high | 0:43:06 | 0:43:11 | |
standard of entry this year, | 0:43:11 | 0:43:14 | |
and, er, all of the cakes were delicious. | 0:43:14 | 0:43:18 | |
'By now, I was several weeks into my time in the world of brain injury. | 0:43:20 | 0:43:24 | |
'Amid the range and unpredictability of the challenges | 0:43:26 | 0:43:30 | |
'faced by the people I'd met, I'd been pleased to find | 0:43:30 | 0:43:33 | |
'consolations, relationships that had become more difficult | 0:43:33 | 0:43:38 | |
'but which, maybe because of that, were in many ways more rewarding.' | 0:43:38 | 0:43:43 | |
Go on, in you go. | 0:43:48 | 0:43:49 | |
Careful of this black one behind my right shoulder. | 0:43:49 | 0:43:52 | |
She's finding my hand quite interesting. | 0:43:52 | 0:43:54 | |
-Oh! -Oh! | 0:43:56 | 0:43:57 | |
She didn't like that. | 0:43:57 | 0:43:59 | |
'Back in Liverpool, Dan was doing some volunteer work at a local | 0:43:59 | 0:44:02 | |
'rescue centre.' | 0:44:02 | 0:44:04 | |
Where have they come from? | 0:44:04 | 0:44:06 | |
They all come from different places. | 0:44:07 | 0:44:09 | |
These two little ones, they're from our Welsh centre. | 0:44:09 | 0:44:13 | |
-And the idea is to get them re-homed... -Re-homed. | 0:44:13 | 0:44:15 | |
-..at some point? -Forever homes. | 0:44:15 | 0:44:17 | |
Forever homes. Would you like a forever home, Dan? | 0:44:17 | 0:44:21 | |
Uh? | 0:44:21 | 0:44:22 | |
A forever home? | 0:44:22 | 0:44:23 | |
A forever home? Not really. | 0:44:23 | 0:44:25 | |
-Oh. -Nah, I like to move about. | 0:44:25 | 0:44:28 | |
You're a nomad. | 0:44:28 | 0:44:30 | |
Yeah. | 0:44:30 | 0:44:31 | |
But it's nice to have a home that you can go back to. | 0:44:31 | 0:44:34 | |
Yeah. | 0:44:34 | 0:44:35 | |
At the moment, mine's Redford Court. | 0:44:37 | 0:44:39 | |
'But there were rumblings about Dan on the unit. | 0:44:41 | 0:44:44 | |
'A close female friend had recently moved on. | 0:44:44 | 0:44:47 | |
'He'd been feeling low and disgruntled. | 0:44:47 | 0:44:50 | |
'He'd told me his true feelings about rehab were different to the | 0:44:50 | 0:44:54 | |
'ones he'd expressed on camera. | 0:44:54 | 0:44:56 | |
'He and Ivan had agreed to sit down for a summit.' | 0:44:56 | 0:44:59 | |
One thing we haven't really talked about, which is a big thing | 0:44:59 | 0:45:02 | |
-I know in your life, Dan, is Sophia... -Uh-huh. | 0:45:02 | 0:45:06 | |
-..has moved on. -Yeah. | 0:45:06 | 0:45:07 | |
Do you miss her, Dan? | 0:45:07 | 0:45:08 | |
-Yeah. -How much? | 0:45:08 | 0:45:10 | |
I don't know, probably more than what I'd miss my arms, you know. | 0:45:10 | 0:45:16 | |
I'd rather live with no arms than actually be without Sophia. | 0:45:16 | 0:45:20 | |
Yeah. You spent a lot of time together, | 0:45:20 | 0:45:22 | |
-she was a big part of your time here. -Yeah. | 0:45:22 | 0:45:24 | |
I mean, I'm trying to be as mature as I can, yeah, cos | 0:45:24 | 0:45:27 | |
-I wanna get out of here now... -Yeah. | 0:45:27 | 0:45:29 | |
-..I don't want to be here no more. -Go on, why... | 0:45:29 | 0:45:31 | |
Why do you want to get out of here? | 0:45:31 | 0:45:33 | |
Cos I don't like it. | 0:45:33 | 0:45:35 | |
Er, when I've done 14 years of rehab | 0:45:35 | 0:45:37 | |
and I just want to get out there and live. | 0:45:37 | 0:45:40 | |
You want to live, what does that look like? | 0:45:41 | 0:45:43 | |
I don't know, sand and beaches and... | 0:45:44 | 0:45:47 | |
And you'd live just by yourself, or do you think...? | 0:45:47 | 0:45:51 | |
I'd live by myself but I want a house so when my family do come up | 0:45:51 | 0:45:54 | |
-and see me... -OK. -..they can spend time with me. | 0:45:54 | 0:45:56 | |
And, erm, if and when the time comes, when you feel Dan is ready... | 0:45:56 | 0:46:00 | |
-Yeah. -..you can sign off on him... | 0:46:00 | 0:46:03 | |
-Absolutely. -..leaving, walking out the gates and leaving. | 0:46:03 | 0:46:06 | |
-Yeah. -But at the moment, your feeling is he's not ready? | 0:46:06 | 0:46:08 | |
-Yes. -That's one against 13. | 0:46:08 | 0:46:10 | |
Basically you overrule Dan, | 0:46:10 | 0:46:11 | |
which I can see from your position must be difficult. | 0:46:11 | 0:46:15 | |
Frustrating. | 0:46:15 | 0:46:17 | |
Very frustrating, and that's sort of where we are, in a way, isn't it? | 0:46:17 | 0:46:20 | |
That's the position we're in. | 0:46:20 | 0:46:22 | |
And that's how... It feels wholly unfair to you, Dan, doesn't it? | 0:46:22 | 0:46:25 | |
-Yeah. -Do you feel ready? Do you feel like you could walk out there | 0:46:25 | 0:46:28 | |
-and look after yourself? -Yeah. | 0:46:28 | 0:46:30 | |
-Dan leaves... -Yes. | 0:46:30 | 0:46:31 | |
..you sign him off and say, "Do you know what, | 0:46:31 | 0:46:34 | |
"his persuasive powers | 0:46:34 | 0:46:37 | |
-"have convinced me he's ready." -Absolutely. | 0:46:37 | 0:46:40 | |
He goes off and then what happens? | 0:46:40 | 0:46:42 | |
My concerns are, about Dan, is that things would start to slide. | 0:46:42 | 0:46:46 | |
I'd be concerned that Dan then wouldn't... | 0:46:46 | 0:46:48 | |
Things would start sliding, things would start to slide... | 0:46:48 | 0:46:52 | |
-I'd be concerned that things would start to slide, yeah. -Why? | 0:46:52 | 0:46:54 | |
Dan would start making associations with people, er, | 0:46:54 | 0:46:58 | |
that were selling drugs and that Dan would start kind of spending | 0:46:58 | 0:47:01 | |
all his money on drugs and alcohol, and whilst he was under | 0:47:01 | 0:47:05 | |
the influence of drugs and alcohol, | 0:47:05 | 0:47:06 | |
he would then engage in behaviours that | 0:47:06 | 0:47:09 | |
might actually put him in trouble, and I have those | 0:47:09 | 0:47:11 | |
fears and concerns because, | 0:47:11 | 0:47:13 | |
in the past, that's some of the behaviour... | 0:47:13 | 0:47:15 | |
-So the...like the... They're in the past, yeah. -Yeah. | 0:47:15 | 0:47:19 | |
So the fears and concerns are going to be there tomorrow, next year, | 0:47:19 | 0:47:23 | |
10 years' time, 20 years' time. | 0:47:23 | 0:47:26 | |
30, 40 years' time, till death. | 0:47:26 | 0:47:29 | |
You have the abilities, | 0:47:31 | 0:47:33 | |
but I need evidence that I can base my opinion on and that's what | 0:47:33 | 0:47:38 | |
I'm talking about, is that I want you to provide me with that evidence. | 0:47:38 | 0:47:41 | |
I think I'm going to go out for a cigarette. | 0:47:41 | 0:47:43 | |
All right, Dan. Thanks very much. | 0:47:43 | 0:47:45 | |
Yeah, man, whatever. | 0:47:47 | 0:47:48 | |
-I can... I can really feel what he feels. -Yeah. | 0:47:52 | 0:47:54 | |
Because Dan is very engaging and humorous and appropriate and so | 0:47:54 | 0:48:00 | |
you can see from his perspective, | 0:48:00 | 0:48:03 | |
-he must take it as very infantilising... -Yes. | 0:48:03 | 0:48:05 | |
..and emasculating. | 0:48:05 | 0:48:07 | |
I mean, you could argue that there's people in the world who don't | 0:48:07 | 0:48:10 | |
really look after themselves very well | 0:48:10 | 0:48:12 | |
and we give them the autonomy to do that. | 0:48:12 | 0:48:15 | |
-Yeah. -So what's different here? | 0:48:15 | 0:48:17 | |
So the big difference for here, really, is it's, er... | 0:48:17 | 0:48:19 | |
when you come back to Dan, to talking about people's capacity to | 0:48:19 | 0:48:23 | |
make decisions, it comes back to whether they have a sound mind. | 0:48:23 | 0:48:27 | |
Dan, in many ways, is still quite stuck in quite adolescent | 0:48:27 | 0:48:31 | |
thought processes. | 0:48:31 | 0:48:33 | |
So the world seems, in many ways, quite a simple process, | 0:48:33 | 0:48:37 | |
and life is a little bit more complicated than just, | 0:48:37 | 0:48:40 | |
"I'll just live by myself and I'll be happy." | 0:48:40 | 0:48:43 | |
'For more of Dan's perspective, we sat down one to one.' | 0:48:52 | 0:48:57 | |
You feel you don't really need to be here. | 0:48:57 | 0:48:59 | |
I don't. | 0:48:59 | 0:49:00 | |
I mean, Redford Court, yeah, is for people who need it. | 0:49:00 | 0:49:03 | |
I can walk, get myself up in the morning, shower myself, get ready. | 0:49:03 | 0:49:07 | |
I've done it now for like 12, 13 years. | 0:49:07 | 0:49:10 | |
It's like being told to live your life and I don't really need that. | 0:49:10 | 0:49:14 | |
I think the feeling perhaps from the clinicians and management is | 0:49:14 | 0:49:17 | |
that you are vulnerable because of your brain injury. | 0:49:17 | 0:49:20 | |
I'm going to be vulnerable to them for the rest of the time here. | 0:49:20 | 0:49:23 | |
You know, they're not going to let me go cos every day they're going to | 0:49:23 | 0:49:26 | |
think, "Oh, Dan looks vulnerable, Dan looks vulnerable." | 0:49:26 | 0:49:29 | |
I mean, I've gone 17 years of my life, yeah, I've never, | 0:49:29 | 0:49:31 | |
never been beat up. | 0:49:31 | 0:49:32 | |
Yet these are saying that I've got... If I go out | 0:49:34 | 0:49:36 | |
and make a joke about something, you know, people are going to stare. | 0:49:36 | 0:49:40 | |
So what? Let them look, you know? | 0:49:40 | 0:49:42 | |
All I want is a chance to actually prove myself. | 0:49:42 | 0:49:45 | |
You know, if I come back in two years and say, | 0:49:45 | 0:49:48 | |
"Ah, look at me, I did it." | 0:49:48 | 0:49:50 | |
"Add the coconut and bring the coconut milk up to boil | 0:50:03 | 0:50:07 | |
"and then add your dry ingredients and vegetables." | 0:50:07 | 0:50:10 | |
OK. | 0:50:10 | 0:50:11 | |
'I was back in Cornwall, making one last visit to Rob and Amanda.' | 0:50:11 | 0:50:16 | |
Are you ready to attempt this Thai green curry? | 0:50:16 | 0:50:19 | |
Is it worth attempting? | 0:50:19 | 0:50:20 | |
I hope so. | 0:50:20 | 0:50:22 | |
'I'd been struck by the very understandable | 0:50:22 | 0:50:25 | |
'tension in their relationship. | 0:50:25 | 0:50:26 | |
'I'd wondered if it might help to talk about it.' | 0:50:28 | 0:50:31 | |
Louis did the peppers. | 0:50:31 | 0:50:33 | |
Yeah, so be polite about the peppers. | 0:50:33 | 0:50:36 | |
I will be polite about the peppers. Beautiful peppers. | 0:50:36 | 0:50:41 | |
Do you feel, erm, do you feel in charge of your life? | 0:50:41 | 0:50:45 | |
Not at all. | 0:50:45 | 0:50:47 | |
Why not? | 0:50:47 | 0:50:48 | |
I have to have a support worker 24/7. | 0:50:52 | 0:50:54 | |
So although I'm at home and I can get a drink when I want and do | 0:50:54 | 0:50:58 | |
what I want, I'm still having to consider somebody else, not just me. | 0:50:58 | 0:51:04 | |
So no, I don't feel in control of my life at all. | 0:51:04 | 0:51:07 | |
You are in charge of your life, though, aren't you, because... | 0:51:07 | 0:51:10 | |
-Yes. -..I mean, whatever you wanted to do... I suppose | 0:51:10 | 0:51:13 | |
if you wanted to badly enough, you could do it. | 0:51:13 | 0:51:16 | |
Mm-hmm, yeah. | 0:51:16 | 0:51:19 | |
So you're slightly going along with things to please, erm, Rob | 0:51:19 | 0:51:24 | |
-and to spare the children... -Yes. | 0:51:24 | 0:51:27 | |
..any anxiety? | 0:51:27 | 0:51:29 | |
Yeah...especially you! | 0:51:29 | 0:51:31 | |
ROB LAUGHS | 0:51:31 | 0:51:33 | |
You laugh, it's not funny. | 0:51:33 | 0:51:36 | |
What's the "not funny" bit? | 0:51:37 | 0:51:39 | |
Any of it - the way I've been left, the way I am. | 0:51:39 | 0:51:42 | |
Of course that's not funny. | 0:51:42 | 0:51:43 | |
But you laugh at me. | 0:51:43 | 0:51:44 | |
I wasn't laughing at you, I was just laughing. | 0:51:46 | 0:51:48 | |
Mm. | 0:51:48 | 0:51:50 | |
Mm-hmm, I don't believe you. | 0:51:50 | 0:51:54 | |
-No, no, the way you've been left is not funny in the slightest. -No. | 0:51:54 | 0:51:58 | |
I think it was a sort of laugh of... | 0:51:58 | 0:52:01 | |
at the foibles of relationships and... | 0:52:01 | 0:52:04 | |
-Yeah. -..how it... | 0:52:04 | 0:52:06 | |
What, you're still grinning! | 0:52:06 | 0:52:08 | |
Yeah, I grin a lot. | 0:52:08 | 0:52:10 | |
It feels like you're a little bit angry with Rob. | 0:52:10 | 0:52:15 | |
He makes me out to be a bad person. | 0:52:18 | 0:52:21 | |
You believe I'm a bad person. Mm. | 0:52:22 | 0:52:26 | |
Do you really... Do you really believe that about Rob, that he | 0:52:26 | 0:52:29 | |
thinks you're actually a bad person? | 0:52:29 | 0:52:31 | |
Yeah, I do. | 0:52:31 | 0:52:32 | |
A malign influence in the world? | 0:52:32 | 0:52:34 | |
Yes. Take that grin off your face, smirky pants! | 0:52:34 | 0:52:40 | |
-Mm-hm. -Yeah, it's a grin, counteracting it. -Mr Perfect. | 0:52:40 | 0:52:44 | |
You don't really think that about Rob, do you? | 0:52:44 | 0:52:46 | |
I do. He doesn't like...the way I am now, but, like I said, the person | 0:52:46 | 0:52:51 | |
he married died the day I fell off that horse. | 0:52:51 | 0:52:54 | |
I am what's left and I don't think I'm enough for you any more. | 0:52:54 | 0:52:59 | |
You don't feel loved by Rob? | 0:52:59 | 0:53:01 | |
No, not particularly. I feel like I'm a burden. | 0:53:01 | 0:53:05 | |
Why are you saying, "Mm-hmm"? | 0:53:07 | 0:53:09 | |
-No, I'm just having a... -That's what you think I am. | 0:53:09 | 0:53:12 | |
No, not at all. I mean, if you were a burden... | 0:53:12 | 0:53:14 | |
you know, we wouldn't have worked so hard to get you home. | 0:53:14 | 0:53:18 | |
Rob was saying that he would like more of the sort of cuddling, | 0:53:18 | 0:53:22 | |
"I love you"... | 0:53:22 | 0:53:24 | |
Mm-hmm. | 0:53:24 | 0:53:25 | |
..stuff. | 0:53:26 | 0:53:27 | |
Yeah, I'd like to get back to a normal husband | 0:53:27 | 0:53:29 | |
and wife relationship. | 0:53:29 | 0:53:31 | |
For the last however long, I've kind of had to take in a slightly | 0:53:31 | 0:53:35 | |
more of a parent-y, carer-type role, haven't I? | 0:53:35 | 0:53:37 | |
You closed your eyes and shook your head when Rob was | 0:53:37 | 0:53:41 | |
saying the bit about, erm, wanting more of a husband and wife... | 0:53:41 | 0:53:44 | |
-Mm-hmm. -..relationship. What were you thinking about? | 0:53:44 | 0:53:46 | |
He's just a perv. | 0:53:46 | 0:53:48 | |
OK. | 0:53:48 | 0:53:50 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:53:50 | 0:53:51 | |
It is! Just go and get a shag, I don't care. | 0:53:51 | 0:53:54 | |
But I haven't. | 0:53:55 | 0:53:56 | |
If you're gagging for a shag, go and get one. | 0:53:56 | 0:53:59 | |
What's the matter with you, why are you laughing at me? | 0:53:59 | 0:54:02 | |
What a conversation! | 0:54:02 | 0:54:03 | |
What's up, Oscar? | 0:54:07 | 0:54:08 | |
What do you need? I'll be back. | 0:54:09 | 0:54:12 | |
Are you getting tired? | 0:54:13 | 0:54:15 | |
You're happy to be back. | 0:54:20 | 0:54:22 | |
Mm-hmm. | 0:54:22 | 0:54:23 | |
But then sometimes I think you'd rather be somewhere else. | 0:54:23 | 0:54:27 | |
I'd rather be in my own home. | 0:54:27 | 0:54:29 | |
What about a care home? | 0:54:29 | 0:54:32 | |
That wouldn't have bothered me if that's what... | 0:54:32 | 0:54:34 | |
Where would you rather be, here or a care home? | 0:54:34 | 0:54:36 | |
Here. | 0:54:36 | 0:54:37 | |
You say you don't really feel loved by Rob. | 0:54:43 | 0:54:47 | |
Do you still love him? | 0:54:47 | 0:54:50 | |
Yeah. We've been together 22 years. | 0:54:50 | 0:54:53 | |
It doesn't switch off, but I feel like I'm a burden. | 0:54:53 | 0:54:56 | |
If you were in your own home... | 0:54:58 | 0:55:01 | |
-Mm-hmm. -..somewhere else, with the dogs, | 0:55:01 | 0:55:04 | |
pets, then you wouldn't be living with your kids. | 0:55:04 | 0:55:08 | |
They don't speak to me. It's not the same. | 0:55:08 | 0:55:12 | |
It's all they can manage to say "hello" in the morning | 0:55:12 | 0:55:15 | |
and it is literally, "Hello". | 0:55:15 | 0:55:17 | |
Not, "Hello, Mummy, how are you? Have you slept well?" | 0:55:17 | 0:55:21 | |
Nothing. There's no conversation any more. | 0:55:21 | 0:55:24 | |
So I'm just stuck in the middle. | 0:55:25 | 0:55:28 | |
A burden that can't hoover. | 0:55:29 | 0:55:31 | |
Where is...? Where's the Spinosaurus? | 0:55:36 | 0:55:39 | |
Can you show him to me? | 0:55:39 | 0:55:41 | |
'I left Rob and Amanda, feeling their predicament was both painful | 0:55:42 | 0:55:46 | |
'and deeply relatable, and admiring the courage | 0:55:46 | 0:55:50 | |
'they showed in working so hard to keep their family intact.' | 0:55:50 | 0:55:53 | |
It's not far from the unit. | 0:56:02 | 0:56:04 | |
'On the units in Leeds and Liverpool, there was | 0:56:04 | 0:56:07 | |
'only time for some catch-ups and goodbyes.' | 0:56:07 | 0:56:10 | |
Is this your spot then? | 0:56:10 | 0:56:12 | |
Yeah. | 0:56:13 | 0:56:15 | |
It's not too bad. | 0:56:15 | 0:56:16 | |
It's all right. It's a bit cold. | 0:56:16 | 0:56:18 | |
New digs. | 0:56:18 | 0:56:20 | |
So you're in your own... So it's semi-independent accommodation, | 0:56:20 | 0:56:23 | |
-away from the main building? -Yeah. | 0:56:23 | 0:56:25 | |
-That's right, isn't it? -I've moved on to the next part of my rehab. | 0:56:25 | 0:56:29 | |
So it's sort of a promotion of a sort, isn't it? | 0:56:29 | 0:56:31 | |
It feels like this is my home and I've found a sense of belonging. | 0:56:31 | 0:56:35 | |
'So how are you, Louis?' | 0:56:37 | 0:56:39 | |
I'm doing well. How are you doing? | 0:56:39 | 0:56:41 | |
Things is getting better now, though, innit? | 0:56:41 | 0:56:43 | |
'Yeah, you've been there two weeks now. | 0:56:43 | 0:56:46 | |
-'And you're doing all right, aren't you?' -Mm. | 0:56:46 | 0:56:49 | |
'I'm still glad when you get home on a Friday, though, | 0:56:49 | 0:56:53 | |
'you said this Friday, "Oh, I feel better already." | 0:56:53 | 0:56:56 | |
'And he came home this weekend and he was as good as gold for me | 0:56:56 | 0:57:00 | |
'because I've burnt my arm, he's been so thoughtful, so considerate. | 0:57:00 | 0:57:05 | |
'It was like having the old Earl back. | 0:57:05 | 0:57:07 | |
'I couldn't believe it, I really couldn't.' | 0:57:07 | 0:57:12 | |
'Uniquely, among physical impairments, brain injury | 0:57:13 | 0:57:16 | |
'affects our deepest sense of who we are.' | 0:57:16 | 0:57:19 | |
Blue eyes, brown eyes... Brown eyes, with glasses... | 0:57:20 | 0:57:25 | |
'In my time immersed in it, I'd met people caught between old | 0:57:28 | 0:57:31 | |
'and new selves.' | 0:57:31 | 0:57:33 | |
It looks a bit like I'm wearing war paint. | 0:57:35 | 0:57:37 | |
NATALIE LAUGHS | 0:57:37 | 0:57:39 | |
'Working to get their former lives back | 0:57:40 | 0:57:43 | |
'but with a changed sense of who they now were.' | 0:57:43 | 0:57:46 | |
Is that seriously for me? | 0:57:49 | 0:57:51 | |
Yeah. It's just popped, it's still hot. | 0:57:51 | 0:57:53 | |
This is good, just popped. | 0:57:53 | 0:57:54 | |
'The challenge they were engaged in was nothing less than to recreate | 0:57:58 | 0:58:02 | |
'themselves, with new limitations but also great possibility.' | 0:58:02 | 0:58:07 |