Episode 3 Operation Meet the Street

Southend-on-Sea in Essex was originally the south end

of a small town called Prittlewell.

It's now home to the world's longest pier.

With 170,000 residents, Southend is one of the UK's most

densely populated areas outside of London

with almost a third of locals aged over 55.

It's also home to TV favourite Dominic Littlewood

who remembers it well.

The main thing about Southend is the fact that it's got an amazing beach.

From Shoebury right up to old Leigh-on-Sea,

it's an area, which as a kid, it was great growing up in.

You've got the arcade, which of course,

when you're young, you used to love going down there.

I was one of those kids who got out and had good fun around here

and nearly all my memories, I say nearly,

nearly all of them were pretty good.

This is the street that you were brought up on.

When was the last time you were here?

40 years ago.

The street looks very similar.

That's the house I was born in.

Was there a sense of community? I suppose there was.

Oh, yeah, without a doubt. Big, big sense of community.

My parents lived there.

There was Pat and Bernard Lovell who lived next door and there was

a lady up there who became my mum's best friend called Margaret Di.

In Keith Way, the next road along, there was a lady there.

She had two gorgeous daughters.

I'd love to bump into them again, but I doubt they're there.

What I find amazing on this journey is the fact

that a lot of people don't really know

what goes on ten doors away, really.

They kind of know the person next to them, so the idea of being...

What I want to do is bring this sort of community spirit

together like it was when you used to live here.

So, I want you to knock on a few doors

and it'll be surprising for you and interesting,

and then we'll meet up later and bring all those people together

and then you kind of see what happens.

-Yeah, I'm looking forward to this.

-And... Yeah?

-Yeah, definitely.

-Good. I'll see you later.

-Right.

Mind you, knowing the kind of little rogue that Dom was

when he lived here, I won't be surprised

if everyone's locked their doors and hid behind the curtains.

Did they hear I was coming?

Dom's not having much luck, but finally perseverance pays off.

-Afternoon.

-Hello, Dom. How are you?

-You recognise me, do you?

-Yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah.

-I'm Jessie and that's Annette.

Come closer. I have had a shower this morning.

-Hello there, lovely.

-Hello.

-You've got a smashing smile.

I'm not after your money. I was going to shake your hand.

She was going to give me money.

-I just remember playing with you.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Oh, cool.

-Dominic.

-Yes.

Yeah, yeah... We were little.

Well, I like the area.

It's nice and quiet and peaceful and I like the position, you know?

How long have you lived here for?

My dad bought the house in 1936, I think it was. And I came here then.

-You've been here 55, 56 years.

-1950.

-I'm doing a sort of get-together this afternoon...

-Yeah, yeah.

-I'm looking forward to seeing you later.

-OK.

-Cheerio, ladies.

-Do you know celebrity chef James Martin?

-Yes.

-He's going to be there.

-Oh, is he?

Oh, I'll go and have a sandwich, then.

-All right, all the best.

-All right, five...five o'clock.

-See you later on. Cheers. Cheers, mate.

-OK, cheers. Bye. Bye.

The plan is to invite the neighbours to get to know each other

a little better over a cuppa and a cake.

But we'll also invite charities and organisations along

who are active in bringing communities together.

-Hopefully, I'll see you later on, yeah?

-Thank you.

-Cheerio, bye-bye.

-Thank you, bye-bye.

Dom really wants one of his old family friends to be there.

-Hello!

-Hello.

Margaret! Hello, can I come in? Is that all right?

-Hello, lovely. How are you?

-Oh, I'm fine. How are you?

-Oh, great.

-You're still smiling as you always did.

-Yes.

-You've always had that...

Dom's known Margaret since he was a boy.

She was one of Dom's mum's best friends,

but recently she's sadly lost her husband.

-And how's things in general?

-You still grieve, you know?

It comes out later. That's the trouble.

Do you still keep in contact with much of the neighbours?

Yes, all the ones that are nearby,

but they all go to work during the day.

Do you get a little bit lonely?

Oh, all the time. Lonely.

And what do you do when you get lonely?

-I watch a lot of television.

-Right.

And I read and I keep going.

You've obviously got a lot of support around you,

people who know you and love you

because you've been here for so long.

-If that wasn't there, how would you feel right...

-I'd be lost.

-Yeah.

-I'd be lost. I would definitely move then.

And then you move, you've got to start fresh, haven't you?

Start fresh, yeah.

I would have to. I couldn't manage without the support

that I get from my neighbours.

-It's lovely to see you.

-God bless you.

-Cheers, Margaret.

-Cheers. Bye.

Take care, lovely. Bye-bye.

Margaret's lucky to have her family and good neighbours around her,

but isolation is a massive problem for thousands of people

across the UK,

and it can be caused by all sorts of circumstances.

And recent studies suggest older man are particularly vulnerable

and least likely, of course, to talk about it.

Stan was married to Vicky for 65 years.

She was his lifelong love,

but when she died 11 months ago,

Stan was left only with his memories.

He used to be active, a keen runner competing in competitions

and training other athletes.

Despite running well in to his 70s, since losing Vicky,

Stan's lost the will to continue his activities.

Suddenly, I went from looking after her for nearly ten years

to suddenly having no-one to look after except myself,

which, you know, is no joy to me.

What I'm doing indoors now is just watching the clock.

It's a case of, you know, in another hour,

I'm going to have another coffee, and things like that.

So very recently, I sat here for three days out in the garden

and I didn't do anything.

There was plenty of things I should've been doing and I didn't.

It's just a black hole. I feel empty all the time.

I feel like a shell of my former self.

I can't visualise that I'm going to come out of it.

Where do I go?

For all these years I've been going somewhere with Vicky

and sitting there with her...

..in restaurants or to have a bit of grub out or something like that.

And now I go in and I sit down and I look round and I think,

"Everybody's in pairs or threes or fours."

There's very few people sitting on their own.

You know, it's not enjoyable. It's not a case of treat yourself.

It's a case of wasting time.

She was...just about the most perfect wife I could've ever had.

She really was. She was kindness itself.

At the age of 74, Vicky developed dementia

and Stan became her full-time carer for the next ten years.

After such a long time, it became too difficult for Stan

to handle on his own and Vicky was moved to a care home.

Vicky passed away in January 2014,

after spending just less than a year in the home.

I stayed with her until she passed away, actually. I never left her.

I stayed in the home, I didn't come home at all.

After Vicky's death,

Stan couldn't connect to any part of his previous life.

Even the house is a shell. I mean, it's always been a home.

I just had nothing in me and to be truthful,

and I am being very truthful about this,

if I could have gone along with Vicky, I...

That would have been wonderful for me.

And it would have solved all my problems.

Life seems largely pointless, you know? It does for me now.

Having been speaking to Stan, it's kind of heartbreaking

that he feels that there's nothing to live for,

not least because he's such a great guy

and others can benefit so much from what he has to offer.

And I hope that he comes to the event later

and I really hope that I can introduce him

to someone who'll give him a little bit of his spark back.

I'm convinced that for Stan

his athletic past could be the secret

to unlocking a better future for him.

All over the country, people join walking groups.

Not just for exercise, but company, and here in Southend

there's a particular group designed to put the spring

back into people's steps.

Simply Stride is all about walking sessions for people

from all different kinds of backgrounds

and very important for confidence-building for those people

that either physically have been impaired in some way

or for those that, you know, really emotionally

they need to improve themselves, the way that they feel.

Confidence really underpins everything that you do.

You know, it can stop you from going out the front door.

It can stop you from, you know, just doing your daily activities.

You know, going to the shops and buying a newspaper,

a loaf of bread can be such a huge hurdle.

-Now, I've met an amazing bloke today.

-OK.

And 65 years of marriage.

His wife then suffered from dementia. He was then the carer.

I think something like your organisation

may be able to help him.

I think having that time in his diary each week to know

that he's coming out and meeting that group of people

will empower him and make him feel more confidence.

And the whole social aspect of it is great as you're walking along.

Not only are you making that hour the best fitness time for yourself,

health and fitness, but you're also having a great social situation.

Having a laugh, having great rapport with everybody

and we all love chatting as well, all of our coaches do.

You can see, as well, going from this

very slowly and gradually as he evolves and progresses

and gets more confident in becoming so much more for him.

So, yeah, just from this walking group.

And for Dom, there's one door he can't resist knocking on -

his old family home.

This is going to be a trip down memory lane for me.

It hasn't changed much, I can tell you that.

-Hello.

-Hello. Are you the house owner?

-I am.

-What's your name?

-Jan.

-Jan, I'm Dominic Littlewood.

-Hello.

-Hello there.

Sorry to knock on your door with a film crew behind here,

but I was born in this house.

Yes, I heard that.

Can I be really nosy and come in and have a look around?

-Yes!

-Is it all right?

-You can, yeah.

-Thanks ever so much.

This is really amazing for me.

-I remember so much of this as well.

-Yeah, come in.

We used to have chores and I used to have to sweep these stairs.

-Did you?

-Yeah.

-Right.

-Wow!

I remember this very well.

That's where I...that's where I came into this world.

-Really?

-Right there.

-Oh!

-Yeah.

I won't feel the same again sleeping in here, will I?

-Jan, been a pleasure.

-Yes, been lovely to meet you.

-See you later on, yeah?

-Yeah, yes, see you later.

-Cheerio. Bye-bye.

-Bye.

Going to knock on Pat and Bernard Lovell's house now. I lived here.

They were the neighbours that lived closest to us really

and very good friends of my mum and dad.

And I'm slightly apprehensive about this because,

it wouldn't surprise me if they say,

"Hang on, you were a right, little tearaway."

Well, I know I was a tearaway,

but what they remember of me, it's got me a little bit worried.

-Hello.

-Dominic.

-Hello. Do you know, Pat... Come here.

-You look almost exactly how I remember you.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-It's a long time, Dominic.

-It's 40-odd years.

How you doing? Hello, Bernard.

-Hello.

-Hello. How you doing?

-Very well, thank you.

I tell you what, I always remember you being a big, strong man.

You still have hands like shovels, haven't you?

Do you feel the community has changed a lot over the years?

-Yes, definitely, it has.

-I think it's changed enormously.

For the better or worse?

Well, it's for the worst because we don't know many

people down here at all now whereas we used to know a lot.

People are working and moving on.

Well, I'll tell you what you might be interested in.

I'm putting together this little meeting just down the road.

I'm going to try to put people together again.

You know, put the community spirit back together.

-Pat, it's been so nice catching up, and you, Bernard.

-And you, Dominic.

-I'll see you about four o'clock, yeah? BOTH:

-Yes.

-Thank you very much, Dominic.

-Thanks a lot.

Cheers, guys. ALL: Bye-bye.

It was lovely meeting Pat and Bernard again.

I mean, they are in their 80s now and there were so many memories

that just came flooding back and they've hardly changed at all.

Pat and Bernard may have noticed that their community

is not as open or as friendly as it once was.

But on my travels, I've got the sense that community spirit

is actually still around. It just needs a bit of a push sometimes.

Community, of course, is a great word

and wonderful when you feel a part of it.

For some, it's the isolation from the community

that can cause immense loneliness, lack of confidence, and depression.

You were brought up, what, about half,

three quarters of a mile away from here?

'Keith was once married, had a great job and his own home.

'One by one he lost them all

'and now finds himself on the fringes of society.

'Jobless, alone and living in a temporary hostel,

'for Keith, community feels like a distant memory.

'Now his world is a very small place.'

-Sold the house, sold the car, sold all of your possessions.

-Yeah.

Cos looking in here, the only thing you seem to have...

-not sold is the guitar.

-Yeah.

That's right. Yeah, that's exactly right, yeah.

Yeah, that's all I've got is my guitar.

So, tell me about this guitar, then.

Erm, well, there's a story to that.

Mum left me a little bit of money and I went out and bought that.

So, it reminds me of Mum, really, in a way.

Yeah, yeah, I went and got that three days after...

You know, about three weeks after Mum died.

It's one of the only few possessions...

Well, it is the only few possessions I've got.

So, tell me about the loneliness for you.

Withdrawing.

Time. Sometimes the days...

the days all are...

the days are all the same cos if you decide to go for a walk,

you're on your own.

And you often wonder how you can be so alone.

No, it's not good to have every day...

..every day the same, really.

And nothing...

..nothing really on the horizon to sort of lighten the load.

You're in a rut where you haven't got the confidence.

There's not going to be no miracle cure. If I could get just halfway...

halfway there, a sort of, a little job

and a little of meeting people

and a little bit of...respect.

Self-respect, I think.

So, do you find that it comes sort of hand-in-hand

-with loneliness, that kind of thing?

-Yeah. Loneliness and confidence.

And then, of course, you're not motivated because...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-You've got more time to think.

-Yeah, yeah... Yeah, that's the one.

Sometimes I think far too much.

I can see the spiral that Keith is in.

His lack of self-worth

means he just doesn't have the confidence to engage with others,

and the lack of people wanting to talk to him makes him even less

likely to spark up a conversation.

It's as if he's invisible.

Keith desperately needs to get back into society

and it seems he does hang on to a glimmer of hope.

I just recently enjoyed for the first time...

I know money is a bit short, but I tend to save up.

I go every three matches and I think I go just for the company, actually.

I go to Southend United Football Club.

And I sit there and I'm with a big crowd and you are all...

HE SHOUTS ..and you're letting off steam.

And I go alone, but I come out of there and you're all...

You are waved along with the crowd

and I think it's a sort of feeling of I'm part of something.

Being part of something isn't too much to ask

and I'm convinced it's possible to open a few doors for Keith.

It seems to me the answer for Keith could lie in his love of football

and his passion for music.

The perfect excuse for a trip to the local.

-Hi there, Dave.

-Hi, James.

-You're Faith?

-Yes, I am.

Nice to meet you. James.

-Now, what an amazing place you've got here.

-Thank you.

-Cheers.

So, tell me about this open mic thing, then.

What's...what's the idea of it?

Erm, it's just... Well, just as open mics are.

Just a complete open platform for anybody who's got something

to say basically. Just got something to offer.

Now, I've met... I met somebody this morning that I found fascinating.

A gentleman that's 60 years old and through no fault of his own,

and let's face it, could happen to anybody,

he's found himself in a situation which he's ended up homeless.

The only thing that he hasn't sold throughout his entire life

is his guitar.

I think by bringing him here

and meeting like-minded people like yourself who are passionate

about music maybe would start to open him up a little bit.

-Would you be open to that?

-Definitely, yeah.

-Totally we would, yeah.

-The other part of it is

if he did something like an open mic session...

One thing, you know,

the whole thing is about confidence-building thing too.

-Meeting people and just, yeah.

-Yeah.

-Get him back into society.

Wouldn't want to put him in a situation where he felt

uncomfortable and it could be quite a cut-throat thing.

It's not like that here at all, is it? It's a very nice welcoming crowd.

It's not. Yeah. We're very lucky with the crowd.

They're very welcoming and encouraging.

It's great to know that this place is on his doorstep as well, so...

-Yeah.

-I shall speak to him

-and definitely bring him in.

-Yeah, totally.

-Good, it'd be nice to meet him.

-Good.

Now, I'm no musician, but what an amazing place that is

and I think Keith's going to love something like this,

and these two...

are definitely going to look after him.

It's time for the get-together

and Dom has done a wonderful job

revving up a great sense of community,

bringing people from all corners of this neighbourhood together.

White with one.

I think this is going to be a very,

very successful afternoon of tea-drinking

and cake-eating cos everywhere I look now

there's a lot of these eyes looking at me and smiling

and I think just about everybody I spoke to has turned up

and a lot more! And these things, you never know how well

they are going to go, but I tell you what - right now it is packed out!

And I think a lot of friendships are probably are going to be made.

You know, I think it's going to be a real success.

It's great to see so many of the neighbours have turned up,

and I'm especially pleased

that Keith's made the effort to come along

because I've got something that I want to give him.

And look who else has come along. It's lovely to see Stan

and I'm really excited about introducing him

to Karen, who runs the local walking group.

Karen? This is Stan.

-Hello, Stan.

-Hello, Karen.

-Lovely to meet you.

-Have a seat.

-Heard all about you.

Now, this is somebody that I wanted you to meet because...

-Well, you can explain what you do.

-OK.

Yeah, so we have walking groups and it's very sociable.

Just get you moving really well.

-Yes.

-Which I understand is something you do really well...

I don't think that's his problem

because I've seen all the trophies that you won as well.

What were you still doing, six-minute miles

or something like that?

Yeah, that was my best time. 6.2-minute mile.

It's a long time since I've done anything. Obviously.

What were you looking forward to...

What are you looking forward to in the session?

Really, I'm looking forward to meeting new people.

That's the bottom line.

-People that live around me and...

-Definitely.

-I don't know.

Well, I'm going to leave you to chat and while...

while you're chatting, I know you are a fitness fanatic,

-but I'm a chef.

-It's all a balance, definitely.

HE LAUGHS

I'm so glad you came.

-Margaret?

-Yes, darling.

-This is Doreen.

She lives in Byrne Drive.

I've been there 46 years.

Oh, I'm going to beat you cos my dad bought the house.

-Trumped you. She's trumped you, Margaret.

-I don't see you ever.

-No.

-So lovely.

-Isn't it surprising?

-Never met.

No, never met one another.

-So, how do you think it's gone today?

-Look at it,

-that's a success, isn't it?

-It's great, isn't it?

-The smile on your face, though, is just...

-Do you know why?

Everybody I met was jolly and yeah, but there's a lot of them

that just needed to meet up with people

that they hadn't spoke to for years.

And in there, I mean, God...

The conversation in there is non-stop, isn't it?

But it's not costing any money, is it, that's the thing.

It's a conversation and what I have found on this journey

is that just a simple little conversation can change lives.

Yeah, there's only good that can come out of this.

There's no bad at all. You know, you've got people chatting,

they are getting on. You know, listen to that. It's non-stop, isn't it?

Well, that's all you're doing really and that topic of conversation

is just a magical thing. So I'm...I'm...

Well, I want to thank you for being a part of it as well.

You know what? I'll tell you what, it's been a good day. Thank you.

-I've really enjoyed it.

-It's a pleasure.

You know, it's been a trip down memory lane.

'Dom's happy, and our guests are happy,

'but one of them is about to get a whole lot happier.

'I've got a surprise for Keith.'

After the conversation that we had, I...

-I thought how I could personally help.

-Thank you.

All right, now I've got you something

-and I want you to take this from me.

-Thank you very much.

-All right?

Now, obviously, winter is coming on, you're going to need a scarf.

-Oh, man!

-Well, you've got the football club over there.

You've got your own beanie cap there,

-but you got your own little wallet.

-Cheers. Lovely.

Now, in this wallet, and this is a personal thing from me,

you've got your own season-ticket.

-Your own seat...

-Oh!

-..in the stand for every match.

This season and next season.

Oh, thank you, James.

-It's in your name.

-Thank you very, very much.

-I think they've spelt it right.

-Yeah, yeah.

-All right?

-Thank you.

-Mate, it's a pleasure. It's there.

-Cheers. Oh, that's unbelievable.

It's a pleasure. In return for this,

-I want you to do something for me.

-Yep, yep.

Take your guitar, go to this pub and play your heart out.

-OK, I'll do that.

-Deal?

-Deal. It's a deal.

-Good.

The following week, Stan teamed up with the walking group

for the first time.

QUIET CHATTER

Hiya, Stan. How are you? Are you all good? Lovely to see you.

Everybody, I've just got somebody to introduce you to.

-This is Stan and Ernie.

-How do you do?

-OK, Ernie, nice to meet you.

-And there's Betty.

-Hello, Betty.

So, I think we're all ready to go and stride

and start learning something new, so...

-OK.

-So, what's this then about your athletics, then?

-Yeah.

-What was your speciality?

-Oh, well, sprinters originally.

I coached sprinters all the time.

Yeah, so what we're doing is

as we are lengthening up through the spine,

we are actually making space between our vertebrae...

'This could motivate me for sure...'

to get out a little bit more than I have done,

just make me feel better, really, being with people,

which is really what I've missed so much.

'I've always been active in the past

'and this hopefully will reintroduce all of that, you know?'

I grow something that I've never done.

I grew peanuts one year. Not enough to eat, they didn't...

SHE LAUGHS

It's really great to see Stan not only active, but also socialising.

He's a lovely man and I really hope that even after the passing

of his beloved wife Vicky

that he can once again find happiness and contentment.

-Good evening, Dave.

-Hello, mate.

It's the open-mic night at Keith's local

and he's headed down there with his guitar in hand.

# Don't you think it's kind of sad

# The dreams of when I'm dying

# Are the best I've ever had

# It's a mad...

# ..world

# It's a mad...

# ..world. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Made me feel more complete tonight.

With that incentive, I know I can do it.

It's just the first step and...

You know, if I keep on doing it, it's going to become easier.

And, so, it's lifted. Lifted is the word. It's lifted me out of the...

out of the zone

of feeling...of feeling, erm, pretty useless really,

pretty... A burden to people.

Erm, it's allowed me to think again that there is another way.

Opened the door that there is another way, yeah.

My trip to Southend has been an interesting one,

but yet quite a difficult one because the issue of loneliness

in men is actually rife throughout society. And let's face it,

me, like most blokes, find it so difficult to talk about it.

Did you have more than just a T-shirt on on that day

-or did you just...?

-Erm, yeah, we did. Yeah, we had...

-We had bottoms and a top, yeah.

-Good.

-Yeah.

And by just feeling included, it can make such a big difference.

# Well, I'm here, baby

# I give myself the blame. #