Dreamcatcher: Surviving Chicago's Streets Storyville

POLICE SIREN WAILS FAINTLY

DISTANT DOGS BARK

ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC PLAYS

This has been buzzard-ville right here. Girl.

It's like the guys hang out here right now

more than the girls right now.

-You know?

-That's Peppy, ain't it?

-Is that Peppy?

-Look like it.

Girl, go back there and get that ho!

-This fool gonna run into me.

-A white man...

OK, slow down, slow down. You goin' go up and down these blocks.

-Make a left. Make a right.

-Which one? Left or right?

-There you go, there you go, right there.

-OK, it's a car over there.

-Yeah.

-It might be Teddy.

-And that look like a baby, don't it?

-Mm-hm.

-Ooh, see, what this guy doin'?

-Wait!

You see, he can see I got my signal.

Sweetie, you need condoms!

-This ho, she...

-Want some condoms, baby?

-OK.

-You want some condoms? You know you want some. Come here!

You OK? Go on over here.

Oh, my God!

And now, he's stabbing me and I'm just punching him.

And I'm telling her, why won't he die? You know what I'm sayin'?

But my mind was slipping. And I passed out.

The drugs, I have to stop. I broke down crying to my friend.

I said, "Don't let me wake up, Lord.

"In the morning, I don't want to wake up."

I'm too scared to take my own life.

But, in a way, I wish somebody would, you know what I'm saying?

Cos, I mean, people die with two or three stab wounds.

And here I am, I got stabbed 19 times and I'm still here.

This friend of mine, just the other day,

she put my hands to her chest, she's been stabbed so many times.

-Mm-hm.

-And I looked and I cried, "Oh, my God!"

And I raise up her shirt and she's been stabbed. She's...

I'm crying, I'm holding her.

This was just this week. And I'm holding her.

And she died in my arms.

And I just, you know... It just messed me up.

Because, here it is, they get stabbed,

they this, they that, they die

and I'm stabbed and I'm still here. This and that.

And it confuses me at times because I want peace.

I really don't want to be living.

Oh, first I started sellin' drugs. Uhm, dropped out of school...

And I started dating. You know, older males, older than me?

My whole family, my mother...

-You was born with crack in your system?

-Yeah.

But I've been going through a lot of stuff...

-And...

-Here you are.

So, you've been out here prostituting,

so you can get high, right? And you're 19 years old?

Have you ever thought about getting off drugs?

-And doing something with your life?

-It's OK, baby.

It's all right, sweetheart.

SHE SOBS

Teetee, you know what? I used to be right out here too.

You know what I'm saying? From that hotel to the corner.

From that hotel to that corner. That's what I did.

You know what I'm saying?

Hiding...

Hiding from myself, actually. You know what I mean?

I know what pain is. And I know you're in a lot of pain.

If you want somebody that's going to care for you unconditionally,

Tee, we here to do that.

See, you didn't know about this.

You didn't know there was some women like that here, did you?

You didn't know that there was somebody

that you could reach out and hold your hand

till you can learn how to walk.

And that's what we do.

We understand right now

that you're in the midst of what's going on out here.

OK? We did it all. Been high and all of that.

So, we understand.

But right now, you are in the midst of what's going on.

So, are you ready to get help tonight?

-We're not here to pressure you or to judge you.

-(No.)

We just want to know when you're ready.

So, you can call us. Can you? Do you know the name of this organisation?

The Dreamcatcher Foundation.

-You got any dreams?

-Catch your dream.

-You got any dreams you want to catch?

-Yeah...

And when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired,

you call us and let us help you.

There's a girl that I know. She came from the West Side, Chicago.

Her mother died when she was six months old.

She was put into the care of her grandmother.

Her grandmother was alcoholic, you know, went to work every day

but, physically, emotionally and mentally abusive to her.

And she started getting molested at the early age of four or five.

Sometimes the people that her grandmother

had keeping an eye on her

were some of the people that molested her.

She used to sit in the window

in an area where prostitutes worked up and down the street

and she used to watch these ladies all the time.

But these ladies looked kind of shiny.

And all she ever wanted to be was shiny.

She never wanted anything else.

And she asked her grandmother one day, "What are those women doing?"

She said, "Well, those women get into cars and take off their panties

"and men give them money."

She put a little dress on, and her little cheap shoes

and she went down to an area where she knew the prostitutes worked.

And she got into the car with her first customer.

As he was on top of her, she cried. But she got out.

Because she kept hearing her grandmother's voice, saying,

"You need to bring some money into this house."

And then she got into the next car.

When she got into the next car,

she started crying and she asked the man, she said, "Please...

"Don't do this." Because she thought about what she had done.

And she had gotten too far. But it was... It was too late by then.

Her life was 25 years in prostitution.

That young lady got shot five times, stabbed over 13 times.

At the end of the road, she got into a car with a guy who dragged her

six blocks, tore all the skin off her face and her body.

And she thought she would never have a face again.

All she asked for was her face back.

And to make her a lady, cos she could never remember being a lady.

And she just wanted her face back.

And today, that young lady stands before you.

A lady with a face.

This... This is crazy.

Oh, no, I had one on last night and I wanted to put it back on today.

You know, it's my new look.

-You got a new one?

-Yeah.

OK, I'll put on another hair.

But see, when I change hairs, I change personalities. Oh!

I know where my hair is!

In the hair thing.

-Well, maybe...

-You get it?

-No, it's not in here.

-It's not?

TV IN BACKGROUND

-This one.

-I like that one too.

You like this one? I don't like this one.

-You don't?

-I mean, I love it but it's not, I don't feel it today.

Right now, I'm trying to figure out,

I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to put on. You know?

Cos I FELT like that hair.

You know, it was, like, fun, springy and I felt like that.

Now, I'm throwed off.

I'm throwed off, so...I gotta get throwed back on.

DISTANT CHATTER

(Shit!)

DISTANT SHOUTING

INDISTINCT CHATTER

ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC PLAYS

-BACKGROUND:

-Hey! Get in the room!

Come here!

INDISTINCT CHATTER

It's hard to have a sister, ain't it?

It's hard to trust women again after being out

there in the streets for so long.

Because when we're out there, men teach us to not like each other.

Because if we like each other, that's way too much power.

Then they can't control us if we get together.

That's rule number eight in the pimp's code of conduct.

Never let a ho like a ho. Ha!

Cos then if they get together, they can turn against him.

So, they always had these things out there about us,

so that we wouldn't get together.

Or, that we wouldn't know that they were using us

because only another sister would tell another sister,

"Girl, he ain't no good, he's using you."

But if they kept us separated, divide, they could conquer.

We got some time now

and I'll leave the floor open for any of y'all who wanna share.

He came after me.

Beat me outside the car till I was bloody.

Dislocated my jaw, knocked two of my very back teeth halfway out.

Made me take all my clothes off.

And that was to ensure that I wouldn't jump out of the car.

And he tried to make me perform oral sex on him.

Well, my jaw was dislocated and I couldn't do it very well. And...

You know, he's still beating me in the car. And I'm already bloody.

So, whatever...

Erm, and he's talking about...

..you know, he wants to do it to me in the butt.

And...

I'm like, so, this time I'm telling him anything I have to,

so he doesn't kill me.

He went and took a lunge forward. He put me in a headlock.

And I started screaming.

The guy let go of me and I dropped to the floor, or to the ground.

And I started running across the parking lot.

I went home and I was in and out of a comatose state.

-I finally ended up going to the hospital.

-(Wow.)

I spent three days semi-comatose.

You know, that's just some of what the streets can do to you.

My name's Kina.

Thank you, Kina. APPLAUSE

As you all know, just recently, they vacated my whole record, right?

APPLAUSE

Y'all better understand about that one, baby!

THEY LAUGH

OK? And... This is the woman who helped me do that.

Erm, you've been there and you're probably still struggling

with feeling like the way you've been treated

is what you deserve, right?

My job is to hold the rest of the world accountable

for what's been done to you.

-I know...

-APPLAUSE

And what we did with Brenda is we went to the court

and we basically said,

"Every time that there was a conviction

"that landed in her lap, in her life, on her record,

"you were treating her like a criminal.

"And that was wrong.

"And you, the legal system, should not have done that.

"You should have recognised that she was surviving."

Brenda helped make the law happen.

Because up until this law was enacted,

we didn't have a way of going to the court system and saying,

"These convictions shouldn't have happened in the first place.

"You were treating somebody like a criminal, when you should

"have been recognising that, really, they were a survivor."

-I see him.

-You see the one talking to the car...

-Yeah.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

This is the street right here that ended my prostitution.

-Oh, there.

-I was right up here by the viaduct. I dated him up here.

Tried to get out the car right there.

And my clothes caught hold to the car.

Pull over and let me give these girls some condoms.

This is the area that ended my...

that was my demise.

-Someone tried to strangle me, like, a year and a half ago.

-Mm-hm.

So, I started working the track for a long time. Can't do it...

-We don't want you to get hurt. This is dangerous out here.

-Yeah, I know.

-My friend just died a couple of months ago.

-She did?

-Yeah, in...

In Newport Beach.

They found her face down on the sand.

Her name was Tina.

OK, she's working but she's got a guy with her.

Because a lot of times, they walk down here with guys.

Because it's been so hot up here. I don't know where she went.

But she had just came out of Denny's.

Out here is really dangerous.

That's why I hardly ever come out here.

-Yeah, this is one of the most dangerous areas.

-I don't hardly ever walk the track.

-Yeah, this is one of the most dangerous spots.

-I was walking home one day...

I would never, when I was out here,

and I was tough, you know, this area right here?

I wouldn't do it, I would only do it in the daytime.

I would do this in the daytime and then, you know,

I would never do it at night. It was too spooky for me. It was too...

They're dangerous out here. They are starting to kill the girls

-because people started stealing and robbing from these guys.

-Mm-hm.

And not respecting the fact that their money

is just as hard-earned as ours.

So, once you respect the game...

I haven't had that many bad things happen to me where I was working.

MOBILE RINGS

Hey. Yeah.

Yeah, babe.

All right.

So, I moved out here, I was on the run.

-From parole. I ran from parole.

-Mm-hm.

-I kept going back and forth to prison.

-Mm-hm.

And then, '08, I hooked up with my four-year-old's dad.

And I ended up getting pregnant.

And ended up going back to serve my time.

I did two and a half years in prison. Got out in 2011.

-Lived with him. Tried the, you know...

-The square stuff.

-Tried to do it.

-Mm-hm.

-But I wanted to get into the escorting business.

-Which was only online.

-Mm-hm.

In April, me and my baby's dad had a fallout.

The strain was too bad.

Like, the violence was there, we were always fighting and everything

-and we never got along.

-Mm-hm.

-I decided to leave.

And then I ended up getting trapped in a relationship that

was like, "Dang, I just broke up with him and now here's this guy."

-You know?

-Mm-hm, right.

-I was doing it all over again, so...

-Are you pregnant now?

-Yes, I am.

-OK.

-I am 20 weeks pregnant.

So, it wasn't... I did not want it. It was not like...

I didn't hand the guy the condom.

-He knew I was really fucked up.

-Right...

It was like a more, a trap thing,

because he heard on the streets that,

cos how loyal and how much money I made for my baby's dad,

-you know?

-Mm-hm, mm-hm...

-So, he figured out...

-He wanted to get you pregnant.

"If I trap her, then I can control her."

I never thought that it had to come to this but it comes to it.

And, I've been on the streets since I was eight, so...

-You've been on the streets since you was eight?

-Yes. In Portland, Oregon.

I'm actually, I was born in Portland, Oregon. I was a runaway.

And I grew up around the pimps.

I was the little girl that'd go collect the money from the hos.

-Right.

-So I've been around the game...

-Was your mother a prostitute or something?

-No,

-my mum just lost us. She was mentally crazy.

-Mm-hm.

Couldn't deal with us and I never...

I don't like authority.

-So, you've been in this game for a while.

-Yeah, I know the streets.

-And you know the streets.

-It's just the streets. So...

-Did you need any condoms?

-Yeah, please.

-OK.

-I was just going to say. Unlock your door on this side...

-OK.

-Call me, you know?

-I will.

If I ride around, I'll probably be around a little bit later tonight.

I don't want to block anything for you

but would you mind having coffee with me or something?

-Yeah, that would be nice.

-OK.

We can go down to Pine Valley and get some coffee.

WOMAN SPEAKS OVER LOUDSPEAKER

These are great years. These are great years in high school.

These are great years.

These are the years that you have a lot of friends,

you have a lot of fun, you do a lot of crazy things.

But you don't have to get serious. In any way, with relationships,

the only thing you should be serious about is your work.

Is your work and how to graduate.

That's the only serious thing you should be about.

-Remember I wanted to join you...

-That was yesterday.

When I come in here, I see boys.

They knock on the door cos they trying to get in,

you know what I'm saying? LAUGHTER

You know, they sniffing round the door right now. You know?

I want you to learn different ways that you can express yourself,

how you can tell a guy in your own words,

"I don't want..." "I'm not with that."

"I'm just not ready yet."

I was 11 and I was in my best friend's house

and I was at her house and she invited her boyfriend over.

My best friend was older than me.

But she invited her boyfriend over

and I didn't know her boyfriend's big brother was coming.

And I had a headache and I was in her room asleep

and the only thing I heard was the door close

and he, like, talking to me and I was like, "Who's you?"

And stuff, I don't know who he is.

I saw him when he came in

and I was screaming for my best friend Brianna.

It happened, like, aggressively.

He raped me when I was 11.

And I never saw him again.

I didn't tell nobody.

I kept it to myself until I was like 15.

I just told my mum the other day and she was mad at me

because she felt like I should have told her

because that's what happened to her when she was younger

and she didn't want it to recycle.

Right.

-Mm-hmm.

-I was like 14 when it happened to me.

Like, I was living with my parents.

That's the reason I don't live with my parents no more.

Because they had a friend of the family that was living with us

and he raped me like every night.

And I told my momma and everything

but she didn't believe me, so I had to just leave from the house.

I'm gonna cry. This is making me sad.

OK.

And I was like...

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

But it does something, like...

-Mm-hmm.

-And just...

I don't.

Mm-hmm.

Yes. Yes, you did.

I didn't even know this was going to come out

but I'm glad it did because, for many years...

I started getting molested at the age of four or five years old.

I got molested most of my life.

It became normal for me and I, too, felt it was my fault.

I thought that there was something wrong with me.

Because I didn't think it happened to anybody else, right?

The molestation was horrible.

But the most horrible part was the people who didn't believe me

-when I told them.

-Yes.

So it made me feel that I was dealing with that alone and that,

in some way, it was my fault.

I'm here to tell each and every one of you today...

it is not your fault.

Do you understand me?

It is not your fault, it is not your fault, it is not your fault,

it is not your fault, do you understand me?

That is not your fault.

-I got too much going on.

-OK, what you want me to do?

It ain't nothing you can do,

I couldn't go to work this morning because I was up all last night.

I wanted to call you this morning but I was asleep, OK?

OK, erm, Latell called, you know little Latell?

-Right, right, right, right.

-Her mum beat her up last night.

-Her mum beat her up?

-Yeah.

-OK.

She didn't fight back because I told her, "Don't fight your mum back."

And it was a good thing, cos her mum was actually trying to fight her

to provoke her to fight her, so that she could send her to jail.

You know what I mean?

And she didn't do it, so that was a good thing.

Then, I get a call last night from Jessica.

-OK.

-Her boyfriend beat her up pretty bad.

In fact, she had a couple of things on her arm

because she was using her hands and her arms to protect herself.

And she's a mess.

And then I got to go deal with Temeka, because Temeka's aunt

put her out last night because she came home late.

How old is Temeka?

Temeka is 15.

Yeah. This is going to be real good.

I love you, Temeka, cos you always be honest,

you always are upright and you say what you've got to say,

what's on your mind.

So why you don't like to sleep at your mama's house?

No, I don't trust you.

Right.

BUZZER I'm at the door.

'Tuesday she went downtown and then that was it.

'Sounded like she was under the influence of something and crying.'

Hello.

And then she calls me at midnight, she still doesn't know where she is.

But she's out walking, so I don't know.

You went from doing pretty good to now you's chaos.

Mm-hmm.

She's been texting a guy, an older guy, he said how old he is - 52.

So she's transacting her body,

-she's having sex with this man for money.

-Mm.

And then she's trying to recruit other girls

to get on the internet with her to work theirself.

-We can't leave her on the street.

-No, she has to be in school.

-Right now she's in limbo.

-Yeah.

-That just eats me all up. Like, how?

I have my kids under control, they were under my eyes.

And how you let some man get in your head?

Yeah.

She says she got closure from the rape

but she was all laughing with him and sitting on his lap

and I'm like...

I'm like, "Wow."

You know, that can happen but that don't stop...

I'm not saying... It's still wrong what I did

but the beginning of the cycle,

you got to realise this man is over 20 years old,

what are you sitting in his lap for?

Ask him why he letting her sit in his lap.

-She a baby.

-He kind of not right either. He has a disability, too.

He real not right.

And, see, you trying to raise a child

and a predator, a trafficker,

a molester trying to take your baby away from you.

Because every time Temeka go out there,

she get involved with one of those guys, turn a trick,

or she do something on those streets, it pull her lower and lower.

It's like buzzards picking up at your flesh.

I wasn't selling pussy

but I run away from my group home

and the girls I ran away with were associated with pimps

and California. I've always been like,

"OK, I got to do it on my own, I got to feed myself."

"Well, OK, we've got a job for you,

"you're too young to be out there, you go collect the money for me."

You know what I'm saying? That's how they did it out on the West Coast.

The hos would be on the corner and, instead of the pimps going

and collecting their money or taking them off their post,

-they would send a child.

-Yeah.

-I'm tired.

I'm tired of laying with all these men and I still need help,

trust and believe, I still need help because I struggle.

I struggle, I struggle and I always need help.

I'm not one to be like, "I don't need no help," no, I need help.

What is that one thing that I could possibly do,

if I can do anything, for either one of you, what would that be?

If I had my home and I had a car and I had a job...

You know what I'm saying?

That kept me occupied...

I want to be able to see my daughter to say, "You know what?

"Reach for that, you cannot be what mama was. I will not allow it."

I can be talking to you for two or three years now

and you could still be doing the same thing, talking the same mess,

I'm going to still be Ms Brenda to you and help you wherever I can.

I have girls like that.

One girl it took her actually three years and she used to think that

-I was going to judge her.

-Yeah.

And I used to just crack up when she'd be telling me stuff

and she said, "Ms Brenda, you're the only one that don't judge me."

And I said, "I can't judge you because I'm you."

You can always look in my eyes and look in my eyes

-and it's going to be OK.

-And that's what...

-Look at me.

-I know.

You just touched my spirit, though.

I'm a very spiritual person, you touched my spirit.

-It's going to be OK.

-You gave hope again.

-And it's not 90 days, 180 days...

-No. You...can't change overnight.

-It doesn't happen overnight.

-It doesn't.

-But it's hard to...

Because you have been here since you were eight years old,

I don't expect that, I don't expect that.

I expect you to know that I'm going to be here for you when you need me.

That's what I expect. Do you understand what I'm saying?

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

You really don't know.

Mm-hmm.

SCHOOL ANNOUNCEMENTS

Hey, everybody.

Hey, my love.

I may not be there when you want me but I'm always on time.

You got to realise I do several things in life.

The person that I have here today was a part of my life

when I was in the streets.

In fact, my pimp and him were best friends.

I saw him turn his life completely around.

And, as awful as he used to be,

he is as good a person today.

Good evening, young ladies and ladies.

My nickname was Fancy when I was in the lifestyle.

I started out with the three-card Molly.

And it escalated into the nightlife with women.

I'm quite sure some of you young ladies can identify with it now.

You can understand that child molestation doesn't start

just with females.

At the age of nine years old, I was molested by my auntie.

And we became lovers for many years,

so what that did was, it gave me a distorted sense of what love was.

So I found it in the streets. At the age of 17 years old,

I was finally introduced to my first prostitute.

She introduced me to the game and from there it took off.

The molestation, it really gave me a very distorted view, very distorted.

I also come from a dysfunctional family.

I used to watch my dad beat my mum up for many years.

I was a little kid, so I wasn't confused by him beating her up.

What confused me was that she stayed.

So that gave this little boy the idea that,

"OK, if I beat up my girlfriend, it's OK."

-You know?

-When did you realise that you didn't want to do it no more?

Like, what made you say, "I'm done with this"?

OK, one of my greatest fears as being a pimp was one day

receiving a phone call from the police station or the morgue

telling me to come down to identify one of my ladies

from being killed by a trick. You all know what a trick is, right?

Hey, you know too much.

LAUGHTER

Yeah. OK.

When you was pimping, did you ever get close to your women

or have you ever been in more...

-In love.

-..in a relationship with one of them?

They were all important.

Either get my money or suffer the consequences.

What kind of consequences?

It could get physical, I mean, from coat hangers to broomsticks.

Once you're in, you can't tell me when you leaving.

You leave when I say you can leave.

-Whoa.

-Why?

-Whoa.

OK.

You better listen. You better listen.

Cos most abusers start out real sweet,

it's only later on that you find out that he's an abuser.

And once he's started, it's almost impossible to stop.

Homeless woman would be in the back seat,

I would be in the back seat. The pimps would be in the front seat,

we would get slapped just for looking.

It was so much control and so hard-core.

But it was a life that, you know, we were living and went through

-and we thought that was cool.

-That's right.

And then they beat you, you know?

Emotionally they mess you up.

Because I used to have extension-cord marks all over my body

but they weren't as bad as what they said....

The emotional scars.

That I couldn't come from under.

Every day it's a brainwash.

Do you, like, regret it all now?

Erm...

I regret some of the decisions I may have made.

Do I regret my life? No.

I had a daughter, her name was Chinadoll.

I pimped on her mother...

from the day she was conceived all the way up to her ninth month.

She was on the ho stroll, that's what it's called.

This big.

In the winter time with a short jacket on.

The more flesh you see, the better.

Anyway, my daughter was born with bronchial pneumonia.

She couldn't breathe, she had a breathing disorder

because of her mother being in the streets

throughout the whole pregnancy.

My daughter died nine months later after she was born

because of this disease...

..and the lifestyle.

Being a little boy was very frightening,

so I found my own means of escape.

And I guess that's probably what helped spawn the...

alter ego along the way.

Getting outside of me, I didn't have to deal with me.

I let my alter ego deal with that.

-A lot of damaged goods.

-And who was the alter ego?

-Fancy.

And what was he like?

He was the total opposite of Homer.

He wasn't loving and caring.

Driven by greed.

Eventually turned into a drug addict.

Do you have any idea why your dad was so angry? Do you know why?

No, I don't.

No, I really don't. Never...never really asked him.

I got the chance to meet my grandparents, they were

pretty angry people themselves,

so he became a product of what they were.

And by them living in a rural area in the country of Mississippi,

he didn't have the opportunities to do the things

that the big city offered me.

He probably would have went the same route I did or worse.

To say when the violence would occur,

it occurred when it occurred.

At any given moment, you know, house could go up.

With her not leaving, that solidified that,

"OK, this might be the way it works."

My whole idea was, the sooner I can get out of here the better.

When I say "out of here," I mean this exact home

where we at right now. I wanted out of here.

It was not beautiful to me.

All I knew was I wanted to escape.

I didn't wake up one day saying, "I want to be a pimp,"

that's not what happened.

I never was one for guns and things like that.

But, of course, I became a criminal.

Short con player and pimping. That's because most of my life...

that's where I spent my life, in the pimp game.

But in the beginning, you have to understand, I had not a clue,

not an idea that I would cause this much pain.

I thought it would be something real cool.

And time went on, it became business, serious business.

Fortunately, I've never been to prison.

I don't even have a jail record. That's probably why I chose it.

But then some people can adapt to jail,

I don't like a lot of confinement. I don't like someone telling me

when I have to get up, lay down, eat, no.

And because I had a way with the women,

I can't quite explain what it was.

I'm not the most handsomest guy in the world

but I was always able to connect.

Listen and talk. Cos I was vulnerable.

Very.

Now, him, on the other hand,

I'm not sure if he really understands...

..how much damage he actually caused through his violence.

I remember one day me and my father having a conversation.

I said, "Pops, let me ask you something,

"how do you really feel about what I do?"

And I didn't stop at the time but it did have an impact on my life.

I asked him how did he feel cos I thought, with us both being men,

that this would be the coolest thing in the world.

I got more than one woman, I can do what I want

but his answer was totally the opposite of what I expected.

He told me, "Son, how do you think I feel?"

What about you, Martha? How do you feel about your son now?

Yeah.

Hello? Is Temeka... Is she coming out?

Tell her to bring herself on.

You an old lady!

INDISTINCT

I know, like, I couldn't say "I think"...

We were talking about your mum being very verbally abusive to you,

did that slacken up?

That's the first conclusion she comes to.

He just going to go back and do it.

It's not about whupping.

OK.

What happened with that?

Mm-hmm.

And you was thinking about going back?

-Yeah.

-To prostitution?

-Yeah.

-To your old lifestyle? Maybe your old people, right?

-Yeah.

It's not going to make it better. It's not going to make it better.

-Yeah, that's...

-It's going to make it worse.

You know what I'm saying?

Any time you go back, it always gets worse.

Don't go back, let's go forward. OK?

When you feel like that, give me a call.

Hello? Hi, Temeka.

Can you hold on one minute? One sec, one sec.

Temeka, Temeka, your mother keeps putting you out,

what are you going to do about that?

I've called a lot of places for you...

..that I thought would be workable for you.

Oh, my... You pregnant?

Yes.

OK.

So you had unprotected sex with your boyfriend, right?

Yes.

And you know you're pregnant, right?

Well, that just opens up a whole new can of worms, sweetie.

She probably did this on purpose, she wanted to get pregnant

but what she doesn't want to do is she doesn't want anyone to know

who this guy is because he's grown, he's much older than her.

And she's only 15 years old and he's already convinced her not to

tell anybody because he knows he'll get in trouble.

He knows this, so that's just the way it is, you know.

It's unfortunate that life is like that

and there are men out there

who don't care about getting 15-year-old girls pregnant.

No matter how much they see them hurting,

because anyone could tell that this girl is hurt.

I knew that if Temeka didn't get any love,

she was going to create some love and she has.

She's created her own love, so...

That's just what girls do. I did it.

So I know what it means.

So there you have it.

Get the ball, get the ball.

-Get the ball!

-Get the ball.

-WHISTLE BLOWS

Where are you going? Get that ball.

-Watch the ball, get the ball.

-Get it, Jer, go for it.

Get the ball.

Yay, there you go!

-Watch the ball.

-Get the ball.

WHISTLE BLOWS

Good job today, Jer.

CHEERING

Touchdown!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! What that do?

What's our name?

What? What? What's your name?

This will be the eighth play of this drive and he...

Keith!

-I can't allow this.

-I can't run.

I can't allow this. This is a Hail Mary.

The offence heads to the line for the seventh play of the drive.

-Aw! Aw!

-KEITH CHUCKLES

That's a touchdown.

Why, that is something to watch. A Hail Mary pass...

Who was your first mummy?

Mm-hmm.

Who took care of you?

-You.

-Right.

So you got two mummies, right?

Which mummy you like the best? Naw, I'm just kidding!

-BRENDA CHUCKLES

-You.

BRENDA LAUGHS

-I'm serious.

-"Since I got a game."

When Jeremy first got with us, he just was in a trance.

Until the guy who transports the children

drives up in front of the door.

Jeremy ran and hid in the closet, right?

I didn't know much. I hadn't had a lot of experience with Jeremy,

so I'm looking for Jeremy and he's in the closet crying.

And I said, "What's wrong? What's wrong?"

And he kept pointing at the man, the man.

The man had transported him from placement to placement

and he thought the man came there to take him away again.

And I remember grabbing that kid and saying to him,

"No, no, no, nobody's going to take you anywhere.

"You will never leave again. You don't ever...

"No-one will ever take you again anywhere."

And that's when I made my decision that he was mine.

It ain't easy.

-You've had a lot of stuff happen to you in your life.

-I have.

OK, I know, you've told me.

-You say you used to get beat for anything.

-Yeah.

You know? And that you could not stand nobody to get no whupping.

You couldn't even stand to see, you can't do it.

No, I couldn't.

And that's a beautiful thing. You know what I'm saying?

But you told me, you said, "I got beat all the time."

You know what I'm saying? And that let me know

that somebody tried to beat all the beauty out of you.

Beat all the life out of you.

Because you got something in you. You know what I'm saying?

Would he beat your mother?

So you saw that?

Mm-hmm.

You said, "That was all he did,"

-but wasn't that enough?

-Yeah.

Sometimes I hear you talking, "That's all he did." That was enough.

We make excuses for people who do things to us because we love them.

When we love somebody,

we make excuses for what they do, you know what I'm saying?

You make excuses for my brother.

Right? And there's no excuse.

You understand what I'm saying?

I feel you. I know. It's not easy.

You know?

Yup.

# I appreciate life

# I'm so glad that I'm alive

# I like what I see when I'm looking at me

# When I'm walking past the mirror... #

-This is the best.

-I need y'all to come on with me.

# I like what I see when I'm looking at me

# When I'm walking past the mirror... #

Yeah. Hey.

Y'all don't understand how to get the party popping.

This is my daughter, Dr Ruth Vasil

and she will tell you more about herself,

she's a psychologist for adolescents.

What I'm here to do today is I want to talk to y'all.

Whatever y'all want to talk about,

whatever questions you all have about the discussion that you

had with my mother a few weeks ago, just about molestation

and sexual abuse. And my mum also told me you all had

questions for me in regards to just, I guess, having heard my mum.

She said you guys had questions that you might have wanted to ask me

about how that was or some experience

that me and my sister may have gone through growing up.

So I'll open the floor first for the questions

and I'll tell you a little more. Yes.

How did you feel when she told you she was a prostitute?

We always knew that, actually.

There was a lot of different traumas that happened to us.

My grandmother... My mother, she was, of course, out on the street.

My grandmother died when I was like four,

so at that point we were just kind of put with everybody.

We had a lot of strings of people that we lived with.

Like, baby-sitters, my grandfather and...

You know, left with a few different people in our lives.

Of course, through that process,

I was sexually abused a couple of times through that process of

being with different family members who took advantage of the situation.

There were nights that we didn't have any food,

barely had any clothes.

Infested with rats and roaches and different things like that.

We went through a lot of different...our own

little different traumas as a kid waiting for her.

How...How...how...

How you really actually deal with that?

When I looked at her I thought, "OK, she's here with us now,

"she's smiling, the drugs are not here, so she loves us."

I knew when she went on the street, that was her drugs,

that's why we didn't hear from her,

that's why she was out there all those years

and things like that and I think that's what we always understood.

It was my mother under the influence of drugs.

Under the influence of pain, under the influence of all

the things that...what happened to her as a child.

My mama did some things that she regret

and, to this very day, I still take it out on her.

So I don't actually talk to her at all.

Like, I moved out and everything. I don't have no communication,

-and I don't want none.

-Can I say something?

-Sure.

When I told you, like, at one time I was gone

and they didn't hear from me for, like, 12 years, right?

I used to call the house and I wouldn't say anything,

I would just breathe on the phone.

They would say stuff like, "We're praying for you.

"We pray for you every night."

And I was out in my madness and that, right there, would keep me

alive because they didn't say "I hate you," they didn't say,

"I don't want to talk to you," they kept saying,

"Hey, Mum, is this you? We pray for you every night."

And that made me say, "My daughters are praying for me."

And I remember I used to get off the phone

and I used to look around at the people that I was hanging with,

I was saying, "My daughters are praying for me."

You know, the shame kept me away.

All the stuff that happened to me when I was young,

I was running from it and, in the process, I ran from them.

The last time that I saw them, I abandoned them.

I abandoned them.

You know what I mean? I mean, straight abandoned my kids.

I couldn't live with myself.

So...

what's up?

OK.

I can't sleep, I can't think because...

..it hurt cos we were so close. He asked me, he said,

"I don't want to be at home, I don't want to be at this school,

"can I come and stay with you?"

I'm like... You feel me?

"I'm not trying to take you from Mum and I don't want them to think

"I'm just letting you do whatever, so you've got to stay there.

"Besides, she needs your help since I'm not there.

"She's got babies to raise.

I would go around there and just put a message out in the hood, right?

-Yeah, we did.

-No, no, you, cos he's close to you.

"Tell my brother I said, if you see him, tell him come on home to me.

"I got him, he can stay with me."

Now, my family looking at me like I'm the bad person.

No, you're not the bad person, and your mama can't put that on you.

At that point and at that time

you'd have done the best that you could have done.

In fact, you might have tried to take on the whole family, if you could.

But you don't have it, you know what I mean?

You're barely surviving yourself, so how is that your fault?

Because you don't have any... Cos you're not surviving?

You're a child being put in adult situations

and given more responsibility than you should ever have right now.

It's not you.

I think he'll come home to you.

You told me that you had dropped out of school and now you're back

cos you want something, you hungry for education.

But you got so much, all this stuff, you know, getting thrown at you.

But what I would like for you to do right now

is try to get here every Tuesday. Can you do that?

What's it going to be?

-I'm going to do it.

-Huh?

-I'm going to do it.

It's not your fault.

Everything seems to be your fault, don't it?

It's not.

You ain't been on the planet long enough

to have to deal with all of that.

SHE SHOUTS

MELODY SINGS

-Mama!

-Will you please come on?

Melody, come on in here!

Bring your ass over.

Bring your ass on out of there.

Get on in there.

What do you want me to do?

Bring your motherfucking ass out.

Sheesh!

SHE SINGS

INDISTINCT CHATTER

What's up?

Open the door.

You can't get in, boy?

Well, thank you, pumpkin. This is Jeremy.

He sleeps here cos he wants to.

He's got another room upstairs.

He doesn't want to sleep upstairs, he wants to be down here.

That's why he's here with my stuff. Cos this was a futon, right?

And he's got a twin bed, then he's got a double decker bed.

Either one of those rooms he could have,

but he wants to sleep down here in this bed.

I guess cos he's close to us, you know what I'm saying.

So... No, don't hang that up in there.

I'll get that. Don't worry. You just have a seat and talk to me, OK?

Cos this is our lady time, this is our girl talk, OK?

I knew you wanted it.

I wanted you to have it

because I've been where you are...

..and I know how it is to want something and you can't.

And it's just so hard to get it and...

..when...

I just know how you feel.

Listen, Melody, one thing I can tell you is,

I know how it feels to be locked in something and not be with your kids.

Mm-hm.

You got so much stuff on top of the beauty inside of you,

but I see through that stuff.

I see how beautiful you are on the inside, you know what I mean.

And that's the Melody I want to flow and be out there,

you know what I'm saying.

I'd love to come around there when you're not high

and you and I laugh and we talk and we understand each other.

Because no matter what you think,

I can never judge you cos I was there too.

But I know that there's a beautiful woman inside of there

that's just dying to come out.

And you know, any time you ready, I'm ready.

I'm ready to help you walk through it.

There's only a little bit of chicken left.

Jeremy.

# I love my little hucky pucky

# Yes, I do

# What about you, you, you?

# Hucky pucky, number one. #

-Huh?

-Yeah.

The young lady, Maria, she called me and she was crying and she said,

"I can't do it. I'm ready to go in."

So I'm going to go get her now

because she said she smoked some crack cocaine and she's pregnant.

So I had to leave my job and go get her. This is it.

What happened?

Well, you know me and Chloe been working off the internet

and it just takes a toll on you.

After a while it's just like...

I'm tired of turning dates.

And it doesn't seem like anything can go right.

Like, I save up to get a place,

I saved up to get an apartment,

and the dude was willing to work with me, give him 200 a day

until I get the 1,400 for him.

I'm just like, "I can't do it no more, though."

I can't. I'm tired.

I get sick when I go in there and turn these dates

and my baby doesn't like it and it's just like I can't do it.

I can't do it. I miss my daughter more than anything.

And it's hard because I did two and half years away from her

and to come home and to be in her life and then...

..because her dad was so fucking brutal to me I had to leave and...

And I just relapsed last night.

I was doing good, like, really good and it just took a toll on me.

And I went to go see a friend

and was smoking weed

and I was already using crack before I got pregnant, so it wasn't like...

It was there and we got high.

I just kept getting high until I puked.

I always come up with an excuse to keep on working and I'm just tired.

I can't work any more.

I knew once I saw you,

I told everybody, I said, "She ready," cos I saw it in your eyes.

Even though you tough, you strong, you all of that.

You know what I'm saying.

You can kind of hide it, be all, you know, thuggish in the street

and everything like that, but on the inside, you ready to stop.

I am. I'm ready on the outside.

It's like, I look at my body and I'm almost six months pregnant.

I'm like, how? How? You know what I'm saying.

I don't want to hurt my baby any more.

And when I turn these tricks I get sick, like, he knows...

Is it cos he knows that it's not his dad?

Does he know that this is not right.

Does he know? And then these tricks are asking me, "Are you expecting?"

Well, I got a bed waiting for you.

-OK.

-Everything's all taken care of. We don't even have to stop.

We have to go straight up to the second floor.

She told me to bring you straight up to the second floor.

Because that's how I get down.

And you're going to be OK, but you got to stay, get your detox.

They have a programme up there, we don't know what will be next,

but we'll work it out.

But just take today, just for the day right now, OK?

-Hey! How you all doing today? ALL:

-Good.

What up? What up? Wake up! Wake up! Ya'll know I like all of that.

-I got good news.

-Good news.

-My brother came home.

-My brother came home.

CHEERING

Everybody say it. My brother came home.

-ALL:

-My brother came home.

Cos that's good for you.

Give me some good news. I like good news.

Whoa! That's real good news.

Somebody share, baby.

I guess ya'll kind of wondering who this lady is, right?

-ALL:

-Yes.

-This lady right here used to be my wife-in-law.

-We had the same pimp.

-Wow!

Whoa!

Bust that one down.

Sometime in December I'm going to have surgery.

They're going to give me new knees.

They're going to replace my knees so that I can get around better

cos I'm having a total hard time getting around.

And so I'll be out for a while.

While I'm gone, she'll be coming to see you.

INDISTINCT SHOUTING

How many guys you got in here cos you all look just alike?

That's your brother?

What's his name?

DOORBELL RINGS

-Jeremiah.

-And your name is?

-I'm Terrance.

-Hey, Terrance. You're handsome.

-Stop that.

Hey!

Anybody. I don't care who you are.

-Anybody need help with all these children.

-Yeah, I know.

And you don't have any help.

And that's how we found Sharita,

cos she wasn't going to school,

and we're going to make sure that we help you.

OK?

-Just call me Em.

-Huh?

Call you Eminem?

No, no, no, I respect that.

I respect that, OK?

Me and you cool, OK?

All right. I just wanted to know you were OK, all right?

BABY CRIES

You're a smart, young man. You ain't crazy, are you?

-No.

-You see what's going on out there in the streets, don't you?

-Yeah.

-You don't want that to happen to you, do you?

-No.

Now, you can do the right thing, which ain't popular,

or you can do the wrong thing, like my son did.

See, he wanted to be slick, sell drugs. They gave him 42 years.

You can't even hang with that crowd. You can't be with them.

Listen to this.

You don't know me, I don't know you, right?

You can tell me whatever you want to tell me.

But guess what? What I'm telling you is fact.

It's going to happen.

If you stay out there in them streets,

trouble's going to find you, whether you're looking for it or not.

And you're going to be sitting back in jail talking about,

"I didn't do nothing."

You don't have to do nothing. You was out there.

Let me ask you something.

-Do I steal what?

-Stuff.

-Nah.

-You don't?

-Uh-uh.

-OK, I need to ask you that cos I'm real. I'm going to ask you.

-Yeah.

-But I don't.

-OK.

OK, if you need something you know that you can call and ask us, right?

-You hear me?

-Yes.

If you're hungry, if you need some things, right, let me know, OK?

Guess what? We got you.

-You hear me?

-Yeah.

Things that you might have been doing to survive...

That's what I want to help you to do, OK?

Like I said, I want you to know I got your back.

And the reason I asked you if you steal is

not that somebody said that you steal, right?

If you don't do one thing, you do the other.

You understand what I'm saying. So I'm asking, how do you survive?

I want to make sure that you don't have to do that, OK?

Cos if I was hungry I would steal.

And I know we have to do some things in order to survive.

You don't have to do that, OK?

We want you to be a part of Dreamcatcher.

We want you to be a Dreamcatcher girl.

OK?

If you know somebody got your back, you'll make it.

Sharita is 17 years old and I wanted to know who she was staying with.

I didn't want to come down here and bodyslam you.

INDISTINCT

But you seem like a caring person.

-Yeah, I am.

-Mm-hm.

-And you care about Sharita, right?

-Yeah.

He the type of person that will try to do everything he can

to make sure that we eat every single night. He takes care of me.

When something wrong with me, he know, he going to keep asking me

until I actually tell him what's wrong with me

cos that what he do.

She brings me up when I be down at times.

-So that's how I know...

-See what I'm saying?

I've been hearing a lot about ya'll. It's all she talk about it ya'll.

Uh-huh. She talk about the Dreamcatcher Foundation a lot and me?

-Yeah.

-And what we do and everything like that?

-Yeah.

-Well, that's good.

-For yourself, huh?

-Yeah.

Well, you know what?

You deserve to be happy.

MUSIC: Brake Fluid by Snoop Dogg

I understand you and I got your back.

I know. And that's most important, that it does to you.

Cos you forgot, when I came around I had no face.

-OK.

-I lost my whole face, Homer.

Yeah, you're going to get it back.

You're going to get it and it's going to be lovely,

especially on that chocolate pretty skin, you're going to have

all them white teeth in there.

It's affecting my weight.

-Yeah.

-Everything, cos I can't chew like I want.

Yeah, mm-hm.

When I asked him to come here with me today,

I brought him here cos I don't want to offend anybody,

but because we need the information, people.

We need this information.

We don't need to get angry about anything today.

We don't need to get upset.

But what we need is the information to learn how to fight

human trafficking.

We don't need to get caught up about nothing.

I started at the age of 16 years old.

Older women were attracted to me so they gave me money,

and that told me that I had some power.

And I think all of us want some power.

I haven't used any drugs or pimped on a woman in 13 years.

I think that deserves a hand clap.

APPLAUSE

We got to have people to give us information about this, am I right?

Yes.

So you guys got to be open-minded to the tools that are available to you.

I use Homer for, and I do use Homer, but I use him for the good,

you know what I mean.

Isn't it ironic how life can change and go around?

How Homer used to ride with my pimp and they used to pimp,

now Homer work for me.

LAUGHTER

Ha-ha!

Basically we were animals out there.

Brought her home. Young girl. About 14 years old.

She looked just like me.

He was in the bed with her.

And usually I would join in and stuff like that, but I didn't.

I sat in the living room and I smoked a joint.

And when she came out I was looking at her, rolling her eyes,

not cos I was jealous, because it was like he had did me in there,

and I was a baby.

That's when you were numb.

Hm.

Cos it's the only way to survive out there.

You cannot survive out there and only be the victim.

I promise you.

I've been going through some emotions lately and I really am...

..kind of like...

I'm an emotional person, but I'm kind of emotional about this surgery,

about not being with my family, about not doing my outreach,

what my girls are going to do while I'm down.

I'm hoping that...

I prepared them well enough that they can be OK until I get well,

and that's why I'm hoping that everything's going to be OK.

And even with 16 years out of the lifestyle, almost 17 years,

I still get...

..emotional, and I get...

..sometimes these anxiety attacks.

Especially after I've seen a lot of clients. I can kind of...

Cos sometimes people think that you dress up, you look well...

you make it to everything that you need to make it to,

but they don't know how you're feeling on the inside.

It takes a lot of work to continue to maintain trauma,

stuff that you've been through,

and just because I work with girls doesn't mean

I don't have my own days, I do have my own days.

And in the last couple of days I've been having a few moments.

INDISTINCT SHOUTING IN BACKGROUND

I used to think for a long time that...

..because I wasn't standing on the corners that I wasn't a prostitute.

I was...

I've been living on the streets since I was 11.

I'm 20 now.

What is a child to do at 11?

I'm a child. I don't have no guardians, no help.

At the age of 11 I was sexually molested a lot.

I was molested to the point that I thought it was OK.

My mother wasn't always in my life.

There were times that I would go without seeing my mother.

Mm-hm.

We slept in cars, we slept in abandoned buildings.

When I was in the fourth grade I used to get beat for no reason.

He would tie me by my hands and my feet across the bed.

The drug dealers?

And he would beat me for no reason.

I tried to run away and found my way back to Chicago.

I was living in Milwaukee then.

I would always get caught.

And he would beat me bloody.

This is not a place for nobody. I hurt.

And you were so courageous. I mean, you asked for help, you did.

You said, "Ms Brenda, I need some help."

I'm here to help you.

I'm going to help your little sister.

Oh, thank you so much.

Cos I asked for help all the time and people just look at me,

"OK, we're going to help you," and I never hear from them again.

Every time I look at you I want to cry.

Thank you so much.

Being raised out in the street,

I did just about everything that I could do

and some of the things I didn't want to do, I had to do.

-Right.

-Sleeping in abandon buildings, eating out of garbage cans.

I've done that.

Drugs.

-Alcohol.

-Mm-hm.

It played a part in my life.

Was there anybody who was abusing you or her or Dianah at that time?

Yeah.

At one point we had an issue where Dianah,

a gentleman friend of mine was supposed to have abused her.

You say supposed to have.

-I said that, yeah.

-Do you believe that he did it?

To be honest with you, I really don't know.

-Why? Do you believe your daughter?

-I believe my daughter.

Good. That's what you're suppose to do.

-You're suppose to believe your baby.

-Right.

So, yeah...

I know how it was when I was out here.

If I had told somebody, if they would have believed me...

I didn't tell nobody.

-Right.

-I kept all my stuff within myself.

-Mm-hm.

-And I dealt with...

..things...the best way I could.

I'm here to open the door to let you know you have assistance.

-You have support, OK?

-OK.

You have support now.

It's OK.

-Thank you.

-It's OK.

She's coming. She's coming.

She's coming back, Mama.

Stephanie, I'm already rolling. I've got three interventions lined up

and I just need to call you to hear your voice.

You know I can't do stuff without you.

When other people are in their beds asleep on a Sunday,

my husband and my son just went to breakfast,