Minding Our Manors True North

'I'm Lord Creighton, and as the first son of an earl, hold the courtesy title of Viscount.

'But as a modern aristocrat, I'm not one for titles.'

You know John Creighton, and I'm very happy to talk.

'I earn my crust as a full-time property search agent in London.'

Do you think hit them with the million?

'But I also own the West Wing at Crom Castle in County Fermanagh, Northern Ireland,

'and will one day inherit the entire house.

'It's been in our family for over four centuries, but trust me,

'these days owning a castle isn't as glamorous as it sounds.'

We've got astronomical bills.

'To help keep the castle, I've opened my doors for business.

'I hire it out for weddings, events and as a TV location.

'In fact, the BBC series Blandings is even filmed here.'

If I hang around long enough, I might get on set!

'But juggling responsibilities is challenging,

'so to prepare for the future, I'm going to meet a fellow lord

'and a lady in a similar situation.'

This is the favourite place to be - bum up against the Aga. Oh!

'And find out how they manage to keep their historical house.'

-It's a home.

-It's a home, just like anyone's home,

except for it's just a little bit bigger.

God, that's the most amazing view, that sea.

'I'm on my way to Ballywater Park in County Down,

'home to the 6th Baron Dunleath and his wife.'

So Lord Dunleath, who we're going to visit now,

is a cousin on my mother's side.

And he's been here for about 15 years.

And he not only has the house, um, and the responsibility

and the stress of keeping a house of this size,

but he also has the estate, which I'm really looking forward to

seeing and getting his focus on what he's doing here.

And, you know, maybe pick up some tips. Here we are.

'Every time I come here, I'm struck by the lovely facade of this house.

'It's a bit like when I go home to Crom -

'the sight of the castle still takes my breath away.'

Oh, good, Ballywalter. Haven't been here for ages!

I hope they're in!

-Hello!

-John!

-How are you? I was about to ring your doorbell again!

-Don't you dare!

-How are you, Vibse?

I'm fine, thank you. How are you?

-It's lovely to see you too.

-Come on in.

-Thank you very much.

-How long are you staying for?

-Um, a week. Is that all right?

-Perfect!

Not sure. You're too much trouble!

'Like me, Lord and Lady Dunleath don't

'believe in standing on ceremony, despite the grandeur of their house.

'So from here on in, I'll be calling them Brian and Vibse.'

-OK, we'll we're going to be just along here. Your room's along here on the right.

-Lovely, thank you.

Lovely. A new bedroom for me to try.

-Make yourself comfortable.

-Wow!

-And come on down.

-Do I deserve this?

-This is wonderful. Thank you.

-Come on down. Well, you're very kind to us.

-So come on down for a drink when you're ready.

-I certainly will.

Thank you, Brian. Lovely. Hm!

Glad it's not 1920, I'd be bringing a lot more stuff,

I can tell you - black tie, white tie, you name it.

Country suit for church.

No-one to come and unpack for you, those days have gone!

'Brian's ancestors bought this grand estate in 1846,

'having made a fortune from linen mills.

'The mills are long gone, so it's lovely to see the house still going strong.'

I don't need to worry, it's immaculate.

HE LAUGHS

Are you coming too, Jess? Yes, you are. Good girl. Come on, then.

Let's go and find your master. Come on!

I believe my host is in his walled garden, checking on his crop.

That is not the walled garden. I'm lost already!

Perhaps they should have given me a map to get around the estate.

Do you think I should go and arrive with one of these, maybe?

Pretend I'm here to do some work - that will really fox him, won't it?

-Which way do you come in? Through here?

-Yeah, push. Other side.

Ta-da!

-How are you?

-Hi, John. I'm fine, thanks.

-I've brought a hoe.

-It's immaculate!

-It's not too bad.

-It's absolutely immaculate.

We try and do a bit of work on the glasshouses each year.

It's not like you've just got one row of fruit,

you've got fruit absolutely everywhere. And is there...?

-Well, we need it for the house, you see.

-Yeah, I love that.

But is there not a thought that you can almost have a...a fruit shop?

Believe it or not, we don't really have enough to sell.

-We use all that we...

-Inside the house.

-Inside the house, yup.

And then we also make jams and chutneys and things like that,

and those we do sell to people who come to visit the house,

and that's very popular. And I think they get, um, they get quite amused by the fact that

-it's I who make the jam and the chutney.

-That's great!

-They don't believe me.

'I had no idea my cousin made his own jam!

'Unfortunately, we no longer have gardens like this at home.

'If we did, I'd be asking for the recipe.'

-Pumpkins!

-Yup, ready for Halloween.

-Ready for Halloween.

They'll be ready for cutting any time now.

-I might turn it over, to get the colour a bit more even.

-Have I ruined it?

-Oh, it's fine. That's perfect.

Do these sort of freak you out when...when they're cut?

No, not really. No, I don't think so. I'm not superstitious.

It's rather hard to make a pretty face out a pumpkin, isn't it?

'Oops! Did I really just say that?

'Seriously, though, just like Crom,

'everyday is a working day at Ballywalter.

'The house can be hired for corporate functions and sleepovers

'and as a film location.

'And if memory serves me right,

'there's still the facility for game shoots, too.'

-It's tricky. Obviously, we let most of our days to get income.

-Cos it's a massive cost.

-It's a massive cost.

-And it seems to be a cost that's rising and rising and rising.

Does there ever come a time when you look at the figures saying,

-"This really isn't working?"

-It is a case...

I mean, at best, um, if you can make the shoot wash its face,

you can break even. You are doing pretty well.

But, of course, there are other things one has to take into account.

I mean, having a shoot and having gamekeeper,

I mean it's great for the security of the estate.

So that's something that we have to think about very carefully.

In this country in particular now, with the, um,

with the recession, um, you know,

a lot of people who used to shoot no longer can sadly afford to do so.

But we've got an American shooting party coming back again this year.

We haven't had one for four or five years, so we're looking forward to that very much.

You must get excited with the Americans?

I think they enjoy it, and of course they stay in the house,

which is another part of the treat.

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-"Man, we're going to stay in a lovely house."

-Yeah.

-"Shoot a couple of birds."

They seem to appreciate it and they're nice people.

'It's true - the American DO love houses like ours.

'But they're not the only ones.

'In just 24 hours, Brian and Vibse are hosting lunch for 30

'representatives from overseas destination management companies.

'If they like what they see, they'll push Ballywalter as a venue

'to their clients which could bring lots more business.'

Um, and this is the hub, the engine room of the house.

And actually, what people don't probably realise is that you

-do all the cooking.

-Yeah.

-You don't actually get caterers in.

-And this amazing team.

-And the two girls.

-They are the best.

As a food historian, you know, this is my niche, I love it.

But actually, if you go to the nitty-gritty, Vibse,

-it's a hell of a costing save.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

A chef is an expensive thing, really expensive.

-When we have dos, we have to get caterers in.

-Yeah.

-And that adds onto the cost.

-Yeah, yeah.

Whereas you can do equally good food, if not better.

And, you know, save on cost.

Vibse has a full-time housekeeper, Sandra,

freeing her up to be in the kitchen.

But there are still limits to her hospitality.

-You don't do any weddings?

-No.

-And never will do?

-I won't, I'm too old.

If I have to do a new job, I'll go back to food history.

I can't be bothered. I am too old to start another business.

I can do what I'm good at, but I refuse to do something new.

'I'm sort of relieved they don't do weddings here.

'I'd hate to have to compete with Vibse.'

Johnny, are you going to come down and give us

a hand with sorting out the wine?

-What, down to the cellar?

-Down to the cellars, absolutely, yeah.

Are you ready?

Wow! This really is going back in time down here.

It was the staff quarters, believe it or not, in the olden days.

-Have they done much filming down here, Brian?

-Yeah, The Wipers Times.

The coal cellar next door was used for, um,

a lot of the bunker in the trenches. It was very authentic.

-So here we are, the wine cellar.

-Ah!

I think, the last time I counted, there were about 3,800 bottles here altogether.

Um, port up there, champagne back behind us.

-Open bottles, bin ends.

-What do the numbers denote?

In the olden days, when there was a butler here and everything was much more organised,

there would have been a cellar book, and the wines would have been

racked out and the numbers of each bin would have shown what's there.

I mean, we don't... don't do complicated things like that any more.

Oh, sorry!

'Sadly, the last butler left some time ago.

'These days, it's up to Brian to put the wine on the table.'

If you'll excuse me, I think I need to get the white wine up and into the fridge

and then that'll be that job ticked off the list.

-I can just stay down here, I'll be happy.

-I'm sure you will be. We'll lock you in so you can't get out.

You see, I can't sight-read.

'Right, no time for playing,

'I've promised Brian and Vibse

'I'll help with preparations for tomorrow's lunch.

'To be honest, until today

'I had no idea how hands-on these two really are.'

Vibse, do you ever think, gosh, this is getting so tiring,

and it's now time that I might take a back seat and not cook as much,

like, maybe get caterers in?

Well, absolutely, there will come a time.

-Is that a swear word to you?

-We...

I've been saying this for a long time.

Brian and I are only a heart attack,

a cancer, a stroke, a broken hip away from not being able to do this.

Because when you do this, you know, I walk...

how many miles?

-I once had a pedometer on.

-Yep.

And for a dinner for 28 psychiatrists in here, I walked ten miles.

'Wow, that's a lot of mileage.'

I think what's great is that Vibse and Brian have absolutely

got the relationship, the working relationship between them to a T.

He knows where he is,

Vibse is brilliant doing the kitchen and all of that.

And you get something now

where they'll both come and do this together.

-Darling, you could put glasses on.

-I could certainly put glasses on if I knew where the glasses were.

'Luckily at Crom, when we bring in caterers,

'they set the tables up too, so I'll admit this isn't my forte.'

-This is a right pig's ear I'm making of this!

-Are you?

'It's fascinating being here,

'and I can't help but wonder

'if Brian and Vibse envisaged so much work

'when Brian inherited the house back in 1993.'

Ballywalter had belonged

to my father's first cousin,

Henry Dunleath, who, tragically... On a number of scores...

He died, A, when he was very young,

and tragically he and his wife Dorinda didn't have any children.

My father was considerably older than Henry

so he didn't want to come and live here when Henry died.

-I think it was the inheritance tax.

-Well, it was two things.

A, he didn't want to live in a house this big,

he had a very comfortable home.

Secondly, as Vibse said,

two sets of death duties would not have been...

It would have made a sad situation,

you know, infinitely worse.

Was the house in good condition when you got here?

Yes and no. My predecessors here, Henry and Dorinda Dunleath,

had done a lot of work.

Most of the main rooms in the house had been restored,

and restored very well. Bedrooms and bathrooms-wise

the house was definitely lacking. I think we had about four bedrooms

and one-and-a-half bathrooms working when I came here,

which didn't really work for us as a family with three children.

So that was sort of the catalyst which got us started.

Our family castle underwent similar renovations on my father's watch

and I know it was a costly labour of love.

The fact is, inheriting a stately home

isn't quite the fairytale one imagines.

For myself, it wouldn't be an idea

to go out and to buy somewhere like this,

especially not with knowing, what we know now,

what hard work it is.

I think I would go for something much more modest.

But if you inherit a house like this,

I think you either try and make something of it

or else you move on

and let someone else have a go.

I think just existing here is not the right answer,

I think that is a defeatist attitude.

'Hopefully, the commercial ventures in the house

'will ensure they aren't defeated,

'but it does make me think.

'After all, it wasn't just the house Brian inherited,

'there's also a 1,500-acre estate, complete with a large dairy.'

I always think cows have got the most sweetest faces.

I think they're lovely animals, I adore them.

They're just...

Shiny wet noses.

Come on, girls, milking time.

'Brian updated the dairy in 1999

'and tells me it produces over 4 million litres of milk every year.

'Thankfully he can afford the help

'of several full-time staff to work it.'

Is it really adding to the income for the estate and everything?

Oh, yes, very much so.

We're getting a six-figure sum,

if I weigh the milk cheque every month, it is serious money.

So, in all truthfully speaking,

this is an integral part of keeping Ballywalter alive.

Yeah, and this is what pays my wages.

I don't take any money out of the enterprises at the house,

Vibse obviously gets her fees out of that,

but the rest of the money,

whatever's left over,

go into further enhancements and improvements in the house.

So I don't draw anything out of that side of the road at all.

Bit like with me at Crom, I don't draw a penny from Crom.

-Yeah.

-Crom pays Crom, Ballywalter pays Ballywalter.

-Absolutely. But I do get a salary out of this.

-Well, of course.

And that keeps you alive.

'I'd no idea all this was here.

'Pardon the pun, but talk about a lesson in milking your assets!

'Sadly, though, next door is a reminder

'that not everything's a success.

'Brian's had some knocks too,

'and shows me what happens

'when a supermarket contract for fruit turns sour.'

We were supplying three quarters of a ton

of really brilliant strawberries a week to them,

but the problem was they got into the promotion culture,

50p off a box or something like that,

and we were expected to stand about 45 of that 50p

with the supermarkets standing the other 5p, and that was our profit margin gone.

When something's going, you know,

which you expect, really, really well

and then suddenly you've got to say goodbye to that venture,

-it can't be easy.

-It isn't easy.

'Turns out the strawberries have been replaced with Christmas trees.

'I do admire Brian's versatility

and wonder if he has any ideas I could develop at Crom -

'after all, that's why I'm here.'

You are very much, for me, the godfather,

the guru of the commercial side

and the corporate side,

which I don't feel we're doing enough back home.

Well, the other sort of event you could possibly look for

is the incentive event,

which is six people from that company and their partners

will be whisked off somewhere for a few days

to the sort of event where you can say

it's an event which money can't buy.

-Company bonding.

-Company bonding, yeah.

-Stuck in a boardroom all day...

And they can be sent out in canoes on Lough Erne, or...

All our canoes have got holes in them!

They'll have to mend them first, that'll be part of the initiative.

Your first task, before you tuck into dinner,

is go and mend our canoes! I must remember that.

-If you make a balls-up of it, you'll end up getting very wet indeed.

-Very, very good advice from his lordship,

-I think that's very good indeed. Thank you.

-Right.

I'm going to remember that.

-What's your downtime?

-My downtime is in the garden.

-But that's still working!

-No, but it's such fun.

I learned to push-mow last year.

I use the push-mow like an offensive weapon, literally.

I have it up on the hind wheels and I...

I'm not allowed a strimmer.

So your downtime is your gardening, so you can't just sit with a book?

Yes, I can sit with a book, I easily sit with a book,

but the trouble is, the house is not really warm enough in the winter.

I don't know about you, but we are frozen with dignity in the winter.

-Put another jumper on, that's what Dad says.

-Ah!

Turn the heating off, put another jumper on and get with it.

He's wrong. It is impossible to keep warm.

I have really specialist silk thermal underwear,

several layers of it,

camel-wool socks from Mongolia.

But you coming from a Scandinavian country...

Yes, but WE had central heating since two centuries ago, OK?

We're not like the rest of you who thinks it's dignified to freeze.

I think it's stupid.

Fortunately, for me, the house is cosy tonight,

and after a long day,

I'm looking forward to the warmth of my bed.

Wow! What a great day.

I just never realised how much Brian and Vibse do outside the house.

I'm really, really impressed, actually.

It's been quite a lot to take in! But I've loved it.

Here's to tomorrow.

Nighty night.

Next morning, the house is buzzing with final preparations

for today's visit for those influential overseas visitors.

Getting it right could lead to lots more business,

so it's all hands on deck!

-We seem to be missing a chair.

-Brian!

I've offered my services.

The housekeeper is helping out

and Vibse is paying by the hour for help from three of her casual staff.

It's fantastic to see it, the atmosphere, it's quite tense.

So, three of seven, and one of eight.

The guests are arriving in just over two hours,

and word has come through there'll be one less than expected.

We were 30 and now we're 29.

But with you and Brian, you are 31.

Shall I do a headcount for you?

I really feel for Brian and Vibse,

it's always stressful having guests for lunch,

but even more so when they're paying for it.

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

-Have you already done it?

-Yes.

-All right. Well, that's all.

-I gave you the spoons back.

-You did.

-It's the pressure.

-It's the pressure.

-It's getting to us all, isn't it?

-Yes.

THEY SPEAK FRENCH

Do you think the house is warm enough or shall we put some more heating on?

-I think it's absolutely perfect.

-Do you think so?

-Yes.

-I feel quite chilly.

-I'm not.

What do you think your guests would feel if they knew

that today a Lord and a Lady has set up their lunch?

-Lord, your coffee is ready.

-Thank the good Lord for that, thank you.

-The...

-You could call it that.

Can you think of an Irish name for it?

You can't call it Wellington cos the French will be very upset.

Wasn't Wellington born in Ireland, actually?

He was. Everyone who is any good is born in Ireland.

Were you born in Ireland, John?

I was born in London.

-A cockney.

-All right, mate.

So was my father.

-I was born in Belfast.

-Were you?

-Johnston House.

Unfortunately, there's little time for a trip down memory lane

as the arrival of Brian and Vibse's guests is getting ever closer.

Girls!

Hi, I'm from France.

THEY SPEAK FRENCH

-Nice to meet you.

-From France as well?

My name is Brian Dunleath and my wife is here somewhere, over there.

And you are all very, very welcome.

If you'd like to follow me.

This is the first time I've seen Brian

and Vibse being the stereotypical Lord and Lady of the house.

Now they've just under two hours to showcase what their home

has to offer.

What I'd love to see possibly back home is these sort of people coming

and staying the night and maybe doing a couple of days with us.

Another thing that strikes me also today is that Brian

and Vibse have almost gone into overdrive now as front of house.

Sometimes people ask,

what is our policy about mixing with your clients?

Again, we leave that very much up to you.

If they want to dine in private, that's fine.

If they want us to join them for dinner, or host the dinner, we take

a view that because we have to eat anyway, we come free of charge.

Brian's tour is under control,

but the girls in the kitchen have gone into overdrive,

and somehow I've got stuck in the middle of it.

-See these?

-Yes.

-We need ten portions out of that.

Help.

-There's enough there, isn't there?

-Perfect.

-You see.

Table four needs clearing. Table three want their bill.

Joke.

God. Oh, God!

So people tend to quite like us.

I'm sure if Brian and Vibse knew that I was in charge back here,

they'd be absolutely panicking.

This is the piece de resistance what they're eating,

and they put me in charge of making sure it doesn't burn.

Four minutes and counting.

Three, two, one, turn.

And they're off.

The food looked fantastic.

But my word, I'm grateful I don't do the catering.

I had no idea how stressful it could be.

It's interesting, though - in the old days,

lunch and dinner parties here were purely for pleasure.

Now it's more about the business of making money.

It's been a hard day's work and with quite a small team helping us...

-It's like coming off stage, Vibse.

-Very much so.

-The adrenaline.

-It is the adrenaline that keeps us going.

It's also why the clear-up is so hard.

I hope they bring you lots of business.

I think we've given it our best shot, so we'll just have to see.

I'm genuinely in awe of how hard Brian

and Vibse are working to keep their home,

but the reality is, these days houses like this are dependent

on some degree of commercial success.

And although times may have changed, there are reminders of why

we strive to make it work all around us.

It does remind one when you see your Pa and then other relations there

that the whole custodian thing is so apt, isn't it?

It's very much a generational thing, and I think you just have to try

and do your best whilst you're in the hot seat, so to speak,

to make it work, to look after it

and to hopefully pass it on to the next generation in as good

as condition as you inherited it or maybe even a little bit better.

People don't live in houses like this.

I don't think they realise what's entailed.

The first impression people get is how lucky you are to live in

a house like this because it all seems terrible simple

and straightforward and easy.

It's anything but easy.

It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one who finds inheriting

a stately home hard work.

But Brian's comments have made me think.

What's going to happen to Ballywalter

when he and Vibse run out of steam?

People ask me, where do I see the future,

how is the house going to continue?

Well, I think that is the question, how is the house going to continue?

Is there a future for a house of this size as a family home?

And that's something I think the jury is out on, you know.

Vibse and I have given this house our all.

You know, is it necessary to expect, you know, can we expect

necessarily the next generation to want to do the same thing.

Brian has two sons and a daughter, so there is a natural heir,

but these days, one can't assume anything.

You cannot nowadays say to your children,

"My boy, this is what you are going to do." Those days are over and to

talk about obligations and everything like that is a complete nonsense.

Things may become clearer you know, if and when, you know, my sons get married.

To have to do it on your own is one thing.

To be able to do it with a partner and with a wife,

as I'm so lucky to be able to do, you know, it is a shared,

-you know, it's a corny thing to say, a problem halved is a problem...

-No, I think you're absolutely right.

A problem shared is a problem halved, I think is absolutely true. And to be able to talk to somebody

and bounce ideas off somebody who's in it as wholeheartedly and as deeply as you are

is priceless and as I say, I do also have a daughter and have a grandson, so it's not as easy as it seems.

I've loved every minute of my time here at Ballywalter Park.

I'd no idea how much the Dunleaths do.

Everything, from cooking to shooting

and jam-making to growing Christmas trees.

Our situations are quite different as I don't have the land they do but the dedication

and passion for our homes is very similar, and I suppose the truth is

that when it comes to keeping them, there isn't one solution to fit all.

There we go. That's the final stuff. In it goes.

What an interesting couple of days it's been.

They're real fighters, these two, and it's in their blood, you can tell,

to keep this heritage and just keep a beloved house

as a custodian, as a live tenant and, you know, good on them.

-Hello, John. Are you on your way now?

-I am.

-I should have given you a hand taking your bag down.

-Oh, don't worry.

I can't thank you both enough. You've been so kind.

This is such a nice house

-and I'm already looking forward to coming back again.

-Cheers.

All the best now. Bye-bye. Breezy!

Right. Where next?