Pets at Peace True North

In Northern Ireland, we are the biggest dog lovers

in the whole of the UK,

with almost half of us sharing our homes

and lives with a canine companion.

# Well, hello there... #

Our bonds with our pet can be every bit as special

as our human relationships.

They are child substitutes, yes.

I know some children that aren't fed as well as my dogs!

# How am I doing? #

But just like people, animals get sick and grow old.

And alongside the happiness of pet ownership

comes the sad inevitability that one day, we will have to say goodbye.

It is very difficult, as anybody who is a dog lover knows,

to let your pet go.

But it is the biggest act of kindness I can now do.

# Gee, ain't it funny

# How time slips away? #

For many of us, being with our beloved pets

as they embark on their final journey is the ultimate act of love.

-TEARFUL:

-Bye-bye, girl.

Going out and leaving her, it felt...

hard. Very hard.

# ..how time slips away. #

This is Lahl. And this is Mena.

Two elderly dogs who live in Castlerock.

Both now 15 years old, they have been cared for all their lives

by their devoted owners Trevor and Diane.

This is Lahl, and she is the eldest, and this is Mena.

She came from the Dogs Trust in Ballymena.

And I thought, "That is the name, I will call her Mena."

And it just suits her. Hello, sweetie.

Generally, their health has been very good throughout their life.

We have been very, very fortunate with the animals.

But as you can see, Mena has now developed what

we think is a tumour, and she has had it for a number of years.

When we took her to the vet's last year for her booster, it was about

half that size, but it is almost becoming unmanageable for her.

But once that actually happens, we know what we are facing

and what we really have to do.

For her sake, more than ours.

The first time that the quality of life is impacted,

we will discuss it with the vet, and if the vet feels that it is

a permanent change and it is not going to get any better,

we will just bite the bullet and say...

We will bring her out and...get her put down.

It will be a difficult transition when the time comes, but we will try

and remember the good times and not dwell too much on the sad times.

And as if the prospect of losing Mena isn't bad enough,

Diane and Trevor are also worried about their other dog, Lahl.

Lahl I think is suffering maybe doggy Alzheimer's.

Because you could take her out before you go to bed,

half an hour later, she wants out again.

And three or four times during the night.

I have developed quite a light sleep,

so I can wake up when I hear the little whimper.

-LAUGHING:

-Not many husbands and wives

sleep in separate rooms

because of the animals, but because Lahl does get Trevor up

such a lot during the night, and the cat now sleeps with him,

I have to sleep in the other room with Mena, because...

I am one of these people that need eight hours' sleep at night,

and I wouldn't get that if Lahl was in.

The odd night that people have been staying

and we are all in the one bed, it's not really very comfortable!

It sounds ridiculous,

but they have shared everything that we have shared.

And people say, "They are only dogs",

but they are not only dogs, they are our family.

People say they are child substitutes.

Yes, that is exactly what they are. And they always have been.

Like anyone faced with losing a loved one,

Diane and Trevor are determined to make the most of their time

with Mena before her condition gets worse.

Obviously when the time comes and anything nasty would happen,

ulceration on the tumour, anything like that, it would be time

to say goodbye, because we wouldn't want to see the dog suffer.

We will keep them company, and they will keep us company,

for whatever time we have left.

We will just cherish them while we are here, that is why we have them.

There is very few days that I don't cry, thinking,

"These dogs aren't going to be with us very much longer."

Especially Mena. Sometimes when I look at her

and she's having difficulty getting up, you think, "This isn't fair",

but the vet said she has a while yet and she is not in any pain.

The very fact that she is not in pain is SO important to us.

Sophie is a West Highland terrier who lives in Belfast

with her owner Linda.

They are best friends and go everywhere together.

-LAUGHING:

-Yes!

I got Sophie about 12 years ago.

She is now 16, so I think she was three or four.

She came to live with me.

Try not to catch your nose. Good girl.

'Sophie and I have a great relationship.

'We're out visiting friends,

'if we're invited for dinner, it's WE are invited out for dinner.'

Christmas cards are from myself and Sophie, birthday cards,

we're just a wee couple!

She's so easy, but now that she's got that bit older,

I would say she is very quiet.

She still would have bursts of energy,

but she would be very tired after.

As the years have caught up with Sophie,

Linda has become increasingly concerned about her health.

Her hips are quite arthritic, and she also at this time of year seems

to get an allergy, I don't know if it's something in the grass.

Because she would gnaw at her paws and lick them and be quite agitated.

Obviously I don't want to lose her,

but I think it would be awful to keep her longer than I should.

Whether I have Sophie a year or another week,

it'll be devastating when she goes.

How I will remember Sophie would be someone who

is very calm, very comforting, Sophie means the world to me.

-She's part of me.

-SHE SNIFFS

Sorry, I can't... Sorry.

I would miss her dreadfully.

A walk on this County Down beach brings back bittersweet memories

for Gill, who spent many happy times here with her late dog Murphy.

Little did Gill realise when Murphy came into her life

she would become much more than just a pet.

I got Murphy, she was about six weeks old,

and I had been ill and in hospital.

In a psychiatric ward.

And they let me out for a week, I think it was,

to make sure I could cope with life again.

You're not meant to look after anything,

you're meant to look after yourself,

and we had all been warned about that as you get out,

but a friend of mine, Jilly, said,

"Come on and we'll go and look, just look."

I just saw this pudgy wee thing make her way to me

as soon as we went into the room. I fell in love, just immediately.

And regardless of what doctors and people were telling me,

I had to have her, and I brought her home.

She was just like a wee miracle, to me.

She supported me, gave me lots of love, helped lift my mood

when it was down. As someone who has got a mental illness,

it's sometimes difficult to control, and Murphy had that gift,

that gift of just knowing how to lift my mood.

So it was a really important relationship to me.

But in 2010, Murphy became ill and Gill had to face

the sad reality that she wasn't going to get better.

She displayed symptoms of what I can only describe

as canine Alzheimer's.

And I noticed that it was happening more and more often.

I just knew it was coming to the end and I would have to make a decision.

And I had to phone the vet and make that choice.

I just wasn't prepared for how deep it would go

and how raw it would be, and for how long it would be like that.

The pain involved, it was a physical pain.

I felt it, I felt it in my chest, I could hardly breathe.

It was just an enormous pain.

Shortly after Murphy died, Gill suffered another bereavement.

Just three weeks after Murphy died, my mum died.

I felt guilty, because I didn't know who I should grieve for more.

And the loss of Murphy was coming through stronger,

and that was tremendously difficult.

I was embarrassed to tell anyone, I was embarrassed to say.

People feel foolish when they cry over their cat or their dog.

And they shouldn't, because it's a real, genuine loss and emotion.

It needs to be understood a bit better.

Hello!

Nearly five years on and still grieving for Murphy,

Gill has decided to attend a pet seance,

where a spiritual medium believes he can connect owners

with the spirits of their deceased pets.

I am here tonight, I am hoping to have a little bit more closure.

While I would say my grief has subsided a little bit,

I would just dearly love to know she's OK.

We have all got something in common,

as we have all lost pets in our lives.

If somebody would come to me and they have lost a pet, I try

and communicate with the spirit of

the person's loved one or their pet.

We're going to try a bit of mediumship where we connect

with our loved pets.

'In most cases, people who come to me for a reading for their pet'

usually walk out with a smile on our faces.

There may be some tears, but they are tears of happiness.

We invite our pets to join us in the room now.

Among the group of people hoping to make contact with their pets

is Gale from Carrickfergus.

Although she has two healthy dogs today,

Gale is determined to preserve the memory of

her beloved dog Spirit, who died at the age of three.

Today is the three-year anniversary of

my white German shepherd Spirit, who I lost to lymphoma.

Spirit had lymphoma for a year.

And I think because I nursed her for that year

it made the bond much stronger.

Even though I knew she was terminally ill

and I was going to lose her, it still affected me.

It broke my heart, basically, yeah.

The pain eases, but the memories are always there,

and you still have your wee moments.

I would still have wee moments where I would remember something

or see something, and I would have a wee cry.

This is my wee doggy snug.

I moved into this house about four months ago and I decided

to dedicate a wee room, so we have really just got this finished.

This was a picture of Spirit on the beach in Donegal,

and then I wrote this wee poem for her.

"So this is where we part, my friend

"And you will run on around the bend

"Your place on hold, you will be missed

"The fur I stroked, the nose I kissed..."

Sorry.

"And as you journey to your final rest

"Take with you this, I loved you best."

Maybe I do want to believe that there is an afterlife for dogs,

but I think I have had too many wee signs,

wee things that aren't coincidence.

So, yeah, for me, Spirit is in spirit form,

and she is my guardian angel.

In Castlerock, it's an anxious time for Diane and Trevor

as 15-year-old Mena's condition has taken a turn for the worse.

The tumour has started to ulcerate.

We think it's near the end of the road,

but we'll take each day as it comes.

What the vet has said is, if this opens,

there will not be any more they can do for Mena.

She's definitely not in any pain.

If she was in any pain, we would know,

and her temperatures and body temperatures, everything, are fine.

It's just discomfort more than pain.

Hey, baby.

You go to work in the morning, and at the minute I am wondering,

"Is this going to be the last day, is this going to be the last day?"

I just know it's drawing closer and closer.

The aloe vera gel the vet recommended,

because it takes the heat out of the skin that's inflamed.

And hopefully it takes the itch away a wee bit

so she doesn't want to keep chewing at it.

You can feel the difference, even a couple of minutes after

putting the gel on, you can feel it's just not as hot as it was.

(That's a good girl.)

Hello, Lucy.

Now in her twilight years, Lucy has spent every year of

her long life with her owner Ivy in Lisburn.

Lucy is nearly 16 years old.

And I have had her since she was six weeks old.

And she has been my greatest companion all of that time.

Recently she is beginning to fail, her quality of life is not great.

I cut myself off from the fact that she was going downhill,

I didn't want to accept it. Just tried to ignore it.

I tried to ignore it, but you can't,

because it is there in front of you all of the time.

And I realise that I'm being selfish now,

I should be thinking more of her than of me.

I could see that she was showing

signs of dementia before anything else.

Because she would start maybe to take a drink of water there,

and then maybe start going walking around the room

before she would go outside. Things like that.

I'm thinking on Monday morning I'll be getting in touch

with the vet. He will be asking me if she was happy.

I couldn't honestly say she was happy.

Because of the way she wanders about during the day,

it makes me think that she is not happy.

I know my dog and I know she is not happy,

because she hasn't got a happy-looking face any more.

No bright eyes.

I used to say to her, "When you go to the heavens in the skies,

"I'm not going to get another dog." So she knows that, I have told her.

Told her she will never be replaced, haven't I, pet? Too old now.

Too old to look after it, and the dog would probably outlive me.

SHE CHUCKLES

16-year-old Sophie's condition has also worsened,

and her owner Linda has had to make the decision she has been dreading.

Over the last few weeks, Sophie has deteriorated.

And the time has come for me to let Sophie go.

The kindest act I can do for her is to let her go,

so I am taking her to the vet and just releasing her.

It is a huge loss,

and yet I wouldn't for one minute change anything.

She is just such a lovely dog, so to be kind to my dear friend...

-VOICE BREAKING:

-..I'll let her go.

In Castlerock, life for Diane and Trevor is lonelier now,

with only Lahl remaining in their lives.

Despite all of their hopes, Mena's tumour was incurable.

It happened very quickly.

It burst, and then it started bleeding profusely and we both...

Again, I will say it... Looked at each other and said, "Call the vet."

It was a hard call to make, and I made it, because I just have

a mechanism that kicks in when something like that goes wrong.

-I think your coping mechanism...

-Yeah, is good.

Step back a wee bit from it and...

It's the days after that it hits home.

I miss her every morning and I miss her every night.

I miss her when I come in from work.

There hasn't been a single day that I haven't cried in the last month.

I can only compare to losing my parents,

because I honestly have been no less upset.

I have always had animals, I have always had dogs,

and I have always been upset, but never like this.

Never. No.

But she was a very special dog.

They are all special,

but Mena was a very clever and a very unique wee dog.

For Ivy and her 15-year-old dog Lucy,

today is the last day of their long life together.

She was getting old and blind and deaf and no quality of life,

and she just wasn't...

She just was...unhappy, I think.

INDISTINCT

This is it. We have had a good life together, haven't we, Lucy?

You're my wee darling.

Aren't you?

It certainly is the kindest thing for both of us,

I have no doubts about that.

It's just still very hard, but it's the best thing for both of us.

She will just get worse every day,

and then I'll be regretting that I let her suffer.

Come on, Lucy. Come on. That's a good girl.

-There's a good girl. Is she eating?

-She is eating, yes.

She was eating all right. Enjoys her food.

Enjoys her food, but it's just that she, her day to day...

-Her day to day, just wandering about.

-The start of dementia.

Yes, I think it's dementia. She has no quality of life,

as far as I am concerned.

It's not an easy or a light thing to do, but it is

the best decision to make when she has lost her mind and lost herself.

I think it's quality of life that she has lost.

I wouldn't like to be like that myself.

What happens next, it is an anaesthetic injection basically,

so it is a very, very powerful anaesthetic.

Once we start injecting, it's very, very quick.

We'll let you say goodbye,

I'll bring her down to Shane down the back, he'll held on to her.

You'll get a phone call and we'll arrange

to come pick her up.

(Good girl.)

SHE SIGHS

I will miss these hugs. She's not concerned, sure she's not.

Sure you're not? Settle down now.

IVY CRIES

I am sorry, it is a very difficult decision to make...

-Yeah.

-..but you are the only person who knows her well enough

to make it.

-Poor wee woman.

-Bye-bye, girl.

-Good girl, Lucy.

-It's all right.

-It's OK, Lucy.

-Good girl.

-This is the anaesthetic agent.

Like I say, it is a very, very powerful anaesthetic.

-You're all right.

-It's all right.

-It's OK.

So when we start injecting, this is very, very quick.

-Brave girl, you're all right.

-Good girl.

-(Good girl.)

-Brave girl.

She's gone.

LOCK CLICKS

It was a very difficult job for me to bring her in,

and I was just numb.

I just felt it was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life.

Going out and leaving her, it felt...hard. Very hard.

She brought me more joy than I brought her I think.

She was just adorable, she was the loveliest wee dog.

For some owners, the idea of making contact

with their deceased pets can help ease their sense of loss.

Tonight, spiritual medium Tim believes he can help Gale

and Gill make contact with their dogs.

There is a dog coming through, to start.

This dog is a white dog.

This dog is not a small dog. Full of energy!

HE LAUGHS

She reminds me a wee bit of the German Shepherd type dog,

but she is white.

-She is a white German shepherd.

-Oh, OK.

I just want to say, your dog is coming over to you,

and you have got your face beside...

They want to bring their face over to you for a cuddle.

She came and nudged me with her nose, and I had to

get down on my knees and she would have buried her head into my neck.

She tries to protect you from all the dramas in life,

because she came into your life for this reason.

Well, I always said that.

She came in, there was a reason and a purpose.

She is sitting in front of the fire.

-Is she here?

-Yeah, she's at your feet.

She's with you and she is not going to leave.

I hope this gives you a little bit of...

HE LAUGHS

-It's put a smile on your face.

-Quite shocked!

OK.

Tim couldn't have known what he told me about Spirit,

he couldn't have known.

And I felt her presence there, I felt a warmth.

It wasn't an unhappy feeling, it was happy.

Happy, emotional.

The next dog is almost the size of a Westie, or...

-Murphy's a Westie.

-Is she the Westie? Right.

She knew... She says she knew her time was coming.

And you felt it should have been different or something.

I suppose you always feel you could have done it differently.

-Or made it easier.

-She says, "Don't worry."

She says, "It was the way it was and it is completely fine."

She wanted you to go to the doctor or, um...

Shortly after Murphy, within six weeks of Murphy passing,

I took a stroke. Um...

But between that period, I felt that Murphy had tried to warn me.

She says you are improving.

I feel closer probably to Murphy tonight.

I do feel her presence greatly. I am glad I came.

I am glad I experienced that.

I'm going to be going home tonight knowing that she will

tuck in beside me in bed.

# I love my dog as much as I love you

# You may fade... #

In today's changing world,

our relationship with our pets is more important to us than ever.

And in Northern Ireland, there is no doubt that our love affair

with our canine companions is here to stay.

# I love my dog as much as I love you... #

Dogs are amazing.

They seem to understand your mood when you are happy, when you're sad.

You are never on your own when you're with a dog.

They are like humans, they are a part of your life,

they are a part of your family.

You have to remember how much pleasure they have given you,

and the love that you have been able to bestow on them.

# I love my dog as much as I love you

# You may fade, my dog will always come through

# All he asks from me is the food to give him strength

# All he ever needs is love and that he knows he will get

# So I love my dog as much as I love you

# You may fade, my dog will always come through. #