Episode 2 Fix My Family

The Lakelands of Fermanagh,

for centuries, a place of spiritual retreat.

For seven days, the stunning island of Lusty Beg has become home

to three courageous families from Northern Ireland

as they attempt to change their diet and lifestyles

in a bid to lose weight and live healthier lives.

This week here at Lusty Beg for the three families

is about us tackling the issue of their weight problems

from every angle.

For Isobel, Nick and daughter Rachael,

Ryan, Ellie, Mum Cara and stepdad Johnny,

and for mother and daughter Rosie and Ellen,

it's a week about learning how to say "no".

When someone says "no" to me, I can be very resentful about that.

It's a week of commitment...

Kick it!

..of trust,

and, most importantly, of facing the truth.

Why are you not taking your gym kit with you?

Why are you not going to the gym before work?

Why not after work? And you always have an excuse.

Touche.

It's not about blame.

It's a journey of self-discovery.

With the support of a team of experts,

these families have a unique chance, not only to transform

their hearts, minds and bodies,

but to redefine their future.

COCKEREL CROWS

As the island wakes up and the morning gets under way,

Amanda Hamilton, one of the world's leading nutritionists

and team leader for the week,

gathers the families together on their first full day of the retreat.

Good morning, everyone.

I know it's nice and early, 7.20am.

She's keen to begin the first lesson of good nutrition - breakfast.

What do you normally eat in the mornings for breakfast?

Weekend, sometimes. Monday to Friday, never.

Yeah, you were both skipping meals a lot.

This is the first time we've tackled the obesity problem

within the family framework.

Do we all understand the best thing to do in the morning is eat?

We know from obesity trends and studying childhood obesity

that what your parents do, what size your parents are

and what their habits are,

really predicts the life outcome of that child, which is terrifying.

The other thing about breakfast

is it's a great time to get some of the fruit

that a lot of you are lacking in the rest of the day.

So one of the ideas I thought might work for you all as families,

and I do this at home with my kids, not every morning but some mornings,

is to make smoothies.

LAUGHTER

So let's get the kids up.

Ryan and Ellie, you're here.

My philosophy around food and eating is that it has to be real.

Not just the food itself, which should be real and unprocessed,

but real in terms of it being realistic

within the framework of busy family lives, juggling childcare, schools...

'Saying that, when somebody says to me,

'"I've got no time," I don't believe them.'

Add a bit of orange juice. This can be any kind of juice you want.

It takes a five-minute conversation with your partner or with your child.

"What are we going to eat this week?"

Just a tiny bit of pre-planning can change the course of that week.

We'll give it a wee try.

It's more a mindset change I think than being a genuine lack of time.

It's really nice, actually.

Could you make one for your mum, give her a try?

These fruit and yogurt smoothies may be a hit with the kids,

but some parents need convincing.

That's not going to be possible Monday to Friday

because it's a nightmare... You know yourself -

getting them up, get to school, bag...

It's just a fighting war in the mornings...

See, I don't believe that, I don't get that. Because it is possible.

I mean, what's not possible is that we all walk up Mount Everest today,

or to solve world peace or to clear the debt.

But what is possible is that you get up five minutes earlier,

that's well within the realms of possibility.

Stern words from Amanda.

And no excuses here either,

as everyone is expected to join the aqua aerobics class

run by fitness expert, John Coulter.

Collectively, the five adults alone have around 30 stone to lose,

and what better way to start shifting the pounds

than 40 minutes of playtime in the pool?

And by exercising regularly, they'll not only burn calories,

they'll significantly reduce the risk

of the killers - coronary heart disease, diabetes and stroke.

Love it. Just bring it straight forward.

While John puts the group through their paces,

Amanda makes a surprise delivery of breakfast ingredients

to the families' lodges.

Porridge for four, some home-made bread,

a bit of honey and an egg each.

Three, two, one...

thank you very much. Good work this morning, well done.

Just want you to take it out. Start to cool down now. Fantastic work.

Here on the island, the families will be encouraged

to take responsibility for their own nutrition.

Not all their meals will be handed to them on a plate.

But how will they get on with their new, all-natural breakfast menu?

I do like porridge, actually.

Yeah, I really do, although I prefer it with lots of sugar

and a bit of cream on top of it.

But yeah, it's grand, very glad to get it this morning.

Oh, yes, Rachael has gone to collect her mother's watch,

which she left at the swimming pool

and I'm left to look after the eggs.

We didn't go for the porridge because we thought timescale, we'd leave it.

Again I suppose that's one thing - we should have time.

That's what Amanda said, make the time.

I used to eat it but I wouldn't have eaten it now in a year or so.

And I definitely wouldn't have eaten it without milk.

We had to make it with water... it's a good change.

I feel fuller even for it. In the morning time you'd eat cereal and you wouldn't feel as full.

Although nutrition is important, the backbone of the week

will consist of psychotherapy to explore what's going on underneath the surface

and potentially uncover the underlying causes of the group's overeating.

The children have a morning therapy session with Dr Rachel Andrew.

Hello and welcome to our first group session.

My name's Rachel, I'm one of the psychologists and I specialise

in working with children and young people and families as well.

'I think the therapy sessions can give people'

and families the opportunity to just think about the way in which

they eat or the lifestyle they're choosing to have.

Because we're meeting in a group, I thought the first thing

we should do is think about some group rules

and how this is going to work really so everybody can feel that they

can talk about things in an open way and maybe not feel too worried.

Does anybody have any rules that they would like to say?

Don't pressurise anybody to say it.

Say there's a question, like something personal you don't want to say.

Once the ground rules have been drawn up, the children can be

more comfortable taking part, knowing that there are clear boundaries in place.

I asked you to bring some photographs with you

and one of those photographs was a photograph which had really good memories

and was you looking really good.

And the other photograph was one that

when you look at it, you don't really like it.

So if we start with the good ones...

Rachael, you look really excited about the idea of sharing your picture...

Would you like to tell me a bit about yours?

I was going to my uncle Andrew's wedding.

I really liked it cos I wasn't so..

I kept on eating fruit and I kept on drinking water a lot

but now everything has changed.

I keep on eating bad things and not drinking enough water.

-Right.

-I say so.

But at that time you remember yourself eating quite healthily and drinking lots of water.

I love that picture. Look at that dress!

Can we have a look at the other pictures that you've brought

which maybe you don't feel that confident about?

This was this year in France.

Um... I didn't realise... When I looked at it, I didn't realise

until I looked at this photo

and it looked completely different to what I look today.

Right.

It proves that I haven't been eating healthy enough.

What do you think, Rachael,

when you look at this picture of you then in the red dress?

Disappointed.

When I was younger, I would eat nearly everything. I would eat vegetables.

But now I've got really, really picky so I only eat meat and fish.

Do you have an idea about what's brought about that change?

Mainly because my dad...

My dad used to come home earlier so he was able to make dinner for us.

But now he comes home really late and my mum comes home really late now.

So we would usually just get a take-out or... and bring it back.

Um... Now and then I feel like I have to stop but then when someone says "That'll be the last time,"

-I go "OK" but it keeps on happening.

-Ah, OK.

-So I have no idea of how to stop it any more.

-No.

It's been a tough experience for ten-year-old Rachael.

Her revelations can be aired in a family session later

but for the moment, her parents Isobel and Nick are about to join

Dr Raman Kapur for the first of their daily group therapy sessions.

None of the adults knows quite what to expect,

and Raman offers no guidance.

Hello, hello.

His approach is very different to Rachel's.

Raman leaves a silence and waits for it to be filled.

'I'm a clinical psychologist who's specialised in psychotherapy'

and the main style of work

is to focus on how the patient relates to himself and to others.

So what I'm trying to do in the work is see how the patient relates to me.

And that's why I keep quiet and keep still.

My problem with food really comes from knowing what I like to eat

and knowing what I should be eating, and they're poles apart.

It's when you go to a restaurant and see the menu,

and the fish with the steamed vegetables is there,

and you know what's what you should be eating,

but the steak and the sauteed spuds is there as well.

And that's what I like to eat.

So I'll eat that rather than go for the fish and the veg.

When I'm eating it, it's lovely,

and when I'm finished, I'm going "Shouldn't gave eaten that. Should have had the fish and the veg."

-So something turns the healthy option down.

-Yeah.

-Something in your mind turns the healthy option down.

-Absolutely.

You think very short term. When you're there in the moment

you don't think "I'm going to gain weight"

or "This is so bad for me" or "This could give me a heart attack."

just think of there and now. Getting from A to B, preparing the meal.

Getting the tea, it's like a rat race - you're always chasing yourself.

You don't think long term like you should. You think very short term.

-Immediate gratification.

-Yes.

And then you've got all this instant gratification society

which then obviously permeates into your family life.

Then saying no feels a really huge task.

No to yourself and no to others.

You've got to give up instant gratification,

you've got to give up postponing the day you're going to start something,

you've got to give up that instant pleasure, that quick fix.

So it's a lot to take on, I think.

During this 50-minute session

the group can talk about whatever comes into their heads,

not necessarily just about their relationship with food.

Isobel is worried how Nick may be feeling towards her.

I suppose Nick in the past... Well, actually, no - recently,

you've been really resentful of me cos

I would have been resentful of Nick when Rachael was a tiny baby.

Whenever he said he was going to the gym, I thought, you know, "No, why? Come home,

"you've to help me with the children, you've to do this, you've to do that."

So I've probably made him feel resentful

because I haven't allowed him to go to that gym on his way home.

Just before you said that I was about to say,

it's got to the stage now where I'm coming home from work

I know I should be going to the gym but for the sake of harmonious living, I don't.

I just come home.

-But that's not... That's a total lie.

-Excuse me, what have you just said?

In the past whenever Rachael was younger.

What have I kept saying to you? "Why are you not taking your gym kit?

"Why are you not going to the gym before you go to work?

"Why are you not going to the gym after work?" And always have an excuse.

Touche.

Despite the little exchange,

the group has survived the first session with Raman.

After a short cooling off period Nick is big enough

to put his telling off behind him.

Sharing such personal information seems to have begun

a healthy bonding process between the adults

although they are a bit bemused by Raman himself.

See when we all get to know each other we'll be fighting.

You two feel free to fight too.

Well, you were sort of starting it off for us, you know.

'I don't know what to make of him.'

I'll tell you in another couple of sessions.

'But he didn't give me the magic answer that I was looking for.'

See, we got ourselves lost.

So, there's nothing to tell at the minute,

it's just a matter of waiting to see what he uncovers.

If he does do that, I'm not sure what he actually does.

In complete contrast to the intensity of the therapy sessions

everyone is outside having a bit of fun.

All the families feel they need to spend more time together

and this week, away from their usual busy routines

they'll be able to enjoy each other's company without feeling guilty.

We all took part in the ice-breaker sessions this afternoon

to get to know each other a bit better.

There were certain specific activities as well,

set up to achieve certain things within the group,

one of those was the trust activity.

-We need one volunteer.

-Me.

Me, OK.

Trust is a huge issue and I think will come up time and time again this week.

Hands over your shoulders.

What we're going to do is myself and Mark will pass Ryan

backwards and forwards between us....

'I think the children need to know they can trust each other

'within our group sessions.

'And as family units, as well, that's a really important aspect.

You do this with your eyes closed.

It's important that when you finish, the person with the eyes closed, you tell them you've finished.

-Don't just suddenly walk away.

-LAUGHTER

I think it's really good for families to reflect on

how much they trust each other.

And if they can begin to build up the trust

they have in each other as well I think they're much more likely

as families to be able to sustain any changes

that we see during this week.

Keep your back nice and straight.

-It's a very slippy coat, isn't it, Mark?

-Mmm.

Keep everything straight. Don't bend your knees.

Oh, no!

Open your eyes.

You're finished. Well done.

It's not all fun and games, there's more serious work to be done.

It's down to the individual now to examine their own thoughts and feelings.

Rosie is the first to head for a one-on-one session with Raman,

a chance to look deep inside herself for possible emotional triggers for her overeating.

Do I blame myself for being this weight? Yes.

Yes, I do.

I work very long hours.

My day is 9.30 to maybe 8.30 and when I come home in the evening

cooking is not always what I want to do, to be perfectly honest.

Because I live a very busy life I can't afford to be tired,

I can't afford to be sore in the evening when I come home after a day's work.

I don't want to be like that any more.

The balance between family life and working is not good.

It's not a healthy balance and I can see that very clearly.

And yet there's this feeling that if I step out of my working life to

give more time to myself, that I feel guilty about that.

I feel that's being very selfish.

That's the voice that probably knocks you down.

-The, "Are you really worth it?" voice.

-Exactly.

That's what's it come down to at the end of the day.

Thinking about the voice in your head that says, "You're not worth it,"

I wonder, has there always been a kind of tentative you

that has been reluctant to push yourself forward

and be part of good things and be part of worthwhile things.

Inside no, outside yes.

I can put a mask on

and most people, unless you know me very well, would never see

the person inside who has no confidence in herself.

-It's almost as if there's two faces.

-Two yous.

-Two mes.

There's two mes, yeah.

-I would like the two of them to meet in some way if it were possible.

-Yeah.

I realise they're both me and both part of me

but they don't really communicate together very well.

Rosie has revealed what many people feel -

that they have both a public and a private self.

And she raises another common concern -

a parent's natural protectiveness regarding their children's future.

Rosie has three older sons,

but 14-year-old Ellen is her only daughter.

I would hate my daughter to grow up hearing that same voice in her head.

I want her to grow up to be a bright and vital and confident woman.

You want her to have a, "You're worth it" voice,

-rather than, "You're not worth it".

-Absolutely.

Cos that's a voice you have lived with as long as you can remember.

And I do not want her to have that.

Something that comes to mind just right now is that...

..if I was able to really make these life changes that would last,

then I would be going a long way

to leaving a wonderful legacy for Ellen.

And that actually feels very good. That feels very positive

when I think about that just now.

It's been an enlightening and inspiring session for Rosie

and while she and Ellen spend some quiet time together, reflecting on the day's events

Amanda has summoned Nick, Isobel and Rachael

to the kitchen for the first family cooking experience of the week.

You three have been selected for Thinner Dinner duty tonight.

Remember what this means? It means you're cooking for everyone.

How would you normally have fish and chips?

From the chip shop.

-From the chippy?

-Yes.

-What you're going to be cooking,

we'll give you the ingredients to cook a healthy version of fish and chips.

All right?

So what we've got is white fish,

this is a nice sustainable white fish called hake.

What I recommend you do is pan fry it on either side,

and then bake it in the oven. You can use a little bit of butter

-in the frying pan so it's not...

-Woohoo!

Woohoo! You'll get a bit of flavour there, but just a moderate amount.

Chips. Do you know what these potatoes are?

What kind of potatoes these are?

-That's a sweet potato and that's just a potato.

-Excellent. Just a potato, very good.

-Do you like potato wedges?

-Oh, yes.

OK, so you're going to be making healthier potato wedges,

because, as I said, it's not about doing weird and wonderful things,

we're going to have things that especially the children are familiar with.

Isobel's first up under the watchful gaze of head chef Sue and Amanda.

She makes quick work of chopping the potatoes into chunky wedges.

Drizzled in sunflower oil and smothered in tasty fresh herbs,

they're going into the oven for about an hour.

Good. Right, Nick, why don't you sort the fish out?

The filleted hake is the perfect choice for today's low-fat twist on fish and chips.

Flash frying in a hot pan seals in the natural juices

and will stop too much oil from being absorbed.

Seasoned with sea salt, pepper and a squeeze of fresh

lemon and lime juice, the fish will only need another ten minutes in the oven to be ready to serve.

Meanwhile Rachael is busy finishing off her fresh

berry and yoghurt with filo pastry desserts.

She's getting to grips with runny honey,

a healthy substitute for sugar.

Cooking meals like this isn't difficult,

but it is easy to be confused about what's healthy and what's not.

Amanda visited Nick and Isobel at home before they came to the island

to make a first-hand nutritional assessment.

Limited spaced in the kitchen.

Can I just nosey around?

Right, you... Oh...

First thing is sweeties.

I've just been introduced to them! They're lovely!

-Is this just the kids, or is this you as well?

-That was me.

Right, OK, an adult eating kiddies' sweeties.

-And... Excuse me for rummaging.

-No worries.

I want you to tell me,

what colour is that food?

White.

Yeah. I'd call it beige.

If a lot of food in your diet is beige,

it means it's not particularly nutritious.

It means quite a lot of sugar, in one way or another, going into your body.

And that high-sugar diet causes the weight gain around the middle.

So we've got to find healthy alternatives for this sort of stuff.

Let's see what's in the fridge.

Um, lots and lots of yogurt.

I want you to, without going too much into...

try and read that label for me.

Tell me everything that's in that yogurt.

Sugar...maize starch, gelatine, stabilisers, lots of stuff...

If you can't pronounce what it says on the label...it's kind of a sign.

On the island, it's all systems go in the kitchen.

The food's cooked, the plates are warm and it's time to serve up.

Right on cue, the others start to arrive.

After a long, hard day,

they're hungry and ready for some hearty food.

Enjoy your dinner.

And this young lady's going to serve pudding cos she made it.

Despite the lack of batter and deep frying, the meal is going down well.

Broccoli on the side adds an extra boost of vitamins and minerals.

With about half the calories and a fraction of the fat of a takeaway,

it's a great recipe for the families to try when they get home.

There are no complaints from around the table,

not even from the fussiest of eaters.

Did you enjoy it?

Healthwise, what are you going to give it?

-I'd have to give it ten.

-Yeah.

INAUDIBLE

-And presentation?

-I'd go ten.

-And taste?

-I'd go ten.

INAUDIBLE

LAUGHTER

Brilliant. Literally, it's a complete ten out of ten all round.

Well done.

It's a positive end to the first full day on the island

and the group have already made huge progress

towards their goals of weight loss and a healthier lifestyle.

Next time...

People think that fat people are lazy people.

People get the impression that you're fat

because you go home and you never do anything.

On Friday, I want you to run a mile with me.

OK. Put a bar of chocolate in his back pocket!

If I have to do that -

put a bar of chocolate in my back pocket - I will!

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