Episode 1 Fix My Family

This programme contains some strong language and some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.

What happens to our cute kids? One minute they're adorable, then they morph into moody teenagers,

-struggling with the challenges of adolescence...

-Get out of my fucking room.

..leaving their parents wondering exactly where did they go wrong.

I just want you to piss off.

THEY SHOUT

-Sit down. Can't keep your knickers on.

-Shut up!

These three families are suffering serious Teen Trouble.

The situation is bad enough.

You just said you weren't hungry.

What do you mean, you didn't know? You know exactly what you're doing.

Hey, hey, hey! Rachel!

Desperate for change, they've signed up for a week-long retreat

away from their usual routines and home comforts

in a bid to turn their lives around.

The location, Greenhill YMCA in Newcastle, County Down.

An expert team will put the families through a tough programme

of psychotherapy and physical activities.

They're here to deal with their teens' behaviour,

but will it turn out that the parents had as much to blame as their kids?

The group will be pushed to their limits and taken way beyond their comfort zones...

My God, I'm going to punch you in the face.

-..in an attempt to rebuild their confidence...

-Fucking bitch!

..and their relationships.

But can they step up to the challenge and grasp this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?

THEY YELL

Cathy, her partner Beano and daughter Chloe...

mum Siobhan and daughter Ciara...

and Andrea and her three teens, Josh, Rachel and Naomi,

have just taken the first big step to the new life

by admitting to the outside world that they have problems.

I've been really stressed out and moody and angry

and stuff, like, all week.

Half the time I don't even know why.

No hitting. No hitting this time.

But before they can fix their issues,

they need to focus on what they want to change.

Listen up, everybody. Listen to what Mammy has to read.

Take your earphones out.

By the time you reach the destination,

we would like you to have thought of one sentence...

Which describes what you would want to achieve this week.

What is your goal?

-Do you get that?

-Yeah.

Tell them that me and my family need help with me, about my behavioural problems and my tantrums.

And it's not my fault if I throw a tantrum.

I'm hoping that's there will be some solutions to issues and problems

and it would be really good to

see it from a different perspective for a change than my own.

Mum Cathy and stepdad Bernard, usually known as Beano,

are here to tackle 13-year-old Chloe's behaviour problems.

Younger brother and sister, Orla and Rhys, are along for the ride.

Chloe has ADHD

and severe behavioural problems and learning difficulties.

It's hard going at the best of times with her.

There's a lot of arguments that are caused

between myself, her and Bernard.

There are times, even, if there is an argument

there are times I would have to take away and go to my own place,

just to air things out and give them a break or something.

It hits me hard, like.

When he's here, I keep thinking about my own daddy.

I just tell him to get to hell and go up to my room.

If I'm in a bad mood, I go up, slam my door

and whack my head off the wall and then start booting myself.

Start booting the walls and jumping on my bed and trying to break it.

She has tried to self-harm a few times, like.

"I want to kill myself, I don't like this life, I don't want this life any more."

To me, like, that's my child.

You know, it's sad, like.

You try your best to try to do...

I wouldn't be without my three weans.

It's just, it's hard.

It's hard on me because I am piggy in the middle.

Single mum Andrea and her three teenagers

have also reached breaking point.

There's nothing particularly unusual about sisters not getting on,

but it's the extreme and sometimes violent nature

of Naomi and Rachel's daily arguments

that's tearing the family apart.

Brother Joshua finds himself stuck in the middle with their mum.

They were just normal kids.

It changed really in the teenage years.

I just noticed that between Rachel and Naomi there was an animosity grew

until they couldn't stand to be even in the same room.

It always falls on the same pattern.

Naomi would take something of mine,

I would scream and shout and try and take it off her,

but then she goes, "That's not fair cos she took my make-up."

No hitting. Hey, hey, hey! That's enough.

It's hard to not react.

One person has to win.

We could end up hitting each other and stuff like that, physical fighting.

And then mum can get involved and she'll do the same

and there's a whole fight between the three of us.

Then my brother is just stuck in the middle.

It's never directly affected me.

It's what they do to mum that mostly affects me.

She would get angry and that would be her for the day.

And she's just not the same as what she would be

if they weren't fighting that day, which is rare.

You just put out fires all the time.

Small ones, big ones... All the time.

Single mum Siobhan and 14-year-old Ciara

have grown further and further apart in recent years.

They're going to find being alone together for a week

away from Ciara's two sisters a real test.

-Have you got everything you need and you'll unpack later?

-Yeah.

-Make your bed up later?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Do you want to change your shoes or anything? Are you happy enough?

-No.

-You're happy enough with what you have on.

-Yeah.

-Just get a couple photos together.

-I don't want to.

-Why?

-Because I don't like you.

-Look here. You don't like me?

-No.

Have been having problems steadily for the last few years with her.

But it's just things have really come to a head

over the last three or four months with her behaviour,

her violent outbursts, and she's been drinking a few times in the evenings.

You know, things have sort of spiralled out of control really more.

From she was very small, she's been very headstrong.

I've tried not to react to her at times.

And it does help, and she doesn't like it.

So obviously the whole problem is not with Ciara, it's with me as well

and how I react to Ciara

and how I deal with the things that she does.

I just couldn't imagine it.

-Couldn't imagine being able to talk to me?

-No, I just don't want to.

I could talk to you if I wanted to, but I don't.

She's just a teenager.

She's doing what they all do.

But for Siobhan, like the other parents,

her teenager's behaviour is no longer acceptable.

They need help, and it's finally arrived.

Welcome, everybody. Thanks again for being brave enough to come and do this.

I know it's not always the easiest thing to do,

and you've probably all felt a little but alone with your problems and your families.

Trust me, there's lots of other families out there like yourselves.

The most important people this week, apart from yourselves of course,

are the experts who are really going to be helping you every day.

For me, this week is all about you reconnecting with each other

and whether that's about parents reconnecting with your children

or brothers and sisters reconnecting,

and I want you to have time to just reflect

and then hopefully strengthen those bonds.

I'll be working with the adults, the parents.

The most important thing is that you speak your mind.

Do your best to say what you feel and think.

Now, my style is a quiet style.

So I'll be waiting for you to put words to what's, as I say,

on your mind, and I'll do my best to work with you to understand

what's going on to get you to a better place.

So, basically, we're here to help you make the changes

that you really want to happen.

This truly is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, to have

this team together really focused on your needs, listening,

helping, in this gorgeous place, so let's make the most of it

and I suggest it's time to get started.

And remind me the ages because you all look very similar...

Finally meeting the expert team

means the reality of what they're here to do is really sinking in.

Just doesn't want to talk. This is the way she behaves all the time.

And when she's not like that there, there's an argument or a fight.

Yeah. Well, then I'm impressed that Chloe's got in the car and come up.

Go away. Go away.

-I don't even want to be here.

-CATHY:

-I'm sorry.

Cathy's attempts to reassure daughter Chloe aren't well-received

and suddenly it's become too much.

AMANDA: It's all right. It's a lot of pressure.

-RACHEL:

-It's really a big deal. You might need a minute.

-BEANO:

-You're all right.

Realising she's upset her mum, Chloe also leaves.

Go away. Leave me alone.

Chloe's Chloe. When she's on good form, the house is good form.

That's just the way it is. When Chloe's good, we're all good.

Family life in Derry revolves around Chloe,

who was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder when she was six.

It means she finds it hard to concentrate or sit still and is very impulsive.

Her behaviour has got steadily worse over the years

and, although medication helps control her symptoms,

her mood can change in an instant.

She's got about three or four stages through her tantrum.

First it's she rejects me saying no to her.

-I went down last night with it.

-All right, all right.

Oh, jeez...

What's wrong?

'The next stage is banging her head off the wall,

maybe breaking the bed, which she's done,

and we're at the crying stage then.

And once the crying stage is finished then it's back to normal.

Life just goes on and stuff, nothing happens and then it's

"Mammy, can I go out again?" So the whole argument starts again.

What are you laughing for?

CHLOE GIGGLES

Chloe, I'm stressed out here, like.

GIRLS LAUGH

If she grounds me, I throw the biggest wobbler of my life.

I broke me bed one time, and I broke that door, but it didn't

come off, like, but then I started bouncing about me bed then.

Cathy and Beano met when Chloe was seven.

With Orla and Rhys added to the family, step-dad Beano has

tried hard not to treat Chloe any differently from his own kids.

For Chloe, it's not that simple.

Chloe rebels on me and if I was to get onto her, she'd say,

"You shouldn't be getting onto me, you're not my..."

-and such, you know what I mean?

-"You're not my daddy," and...

And I say to Cathy, "Look, Cathy, I'm fed up saying this"

because it just...it puts me in a bad mood then

because of the things she keeps saying to me all the time.

See all the fighting that they do, see if there's anything wrong,

she runs to him.

I can't take it, but.

Them two have their daddy here and I don't know where mine is.

I don't care any more about him, but, have to admit it.

He said he would keep in contact.

He doesn't keep in contact, like, so...

Chloe's daddy, myself and Bernard had met him in the town

and he'd asked us, "Could we see her?" And...

..I feel terrible saying this here,

but I handed her to him at the town

and she thought it was the greatest thing ever.

It was "Daddy this, Daddy that, me daddy, me daddy."

Bernard's standing there. My heart was breaking, and I hitted her.

I actually hitted my own daughter that day, cos I turned round,

I says, "I have given you everything."

And I'm not being selfish,

but at that moment in time that's the way I felt.

D'you want to tell me a little bit about what you're finding stressful?

It's the first chance for psychologist Rachel

to start to understand what's going on in Chloe's head.

Just don't want to do it today, it's just too much things going on.

And what helps when you're feeling like this?

Walking out of me house or something.

-OK, just having that space.

-Aye.

-Yeah.

So far, a dramatic start to the week.

Those initial meetings are always really emotional

and I think for Chloe that it all just bubbled over,

all of the things that she'd been thinking about and feeling,

perhaps in the run-up to coming here.

What seems to happen is that Chloe will very quickly get

overwhelmed by feeling frustrated or nervous and then,

when Mum comes in to try to comfort her in some way around that,

that's too much for Chloe and so she will back off away from that,

and Mum will interpret that then as a rejection of her

and end up feeling very upset herself.

I don't know what else to do.

She just took me for six there now when she pushed me away.

She took me for six. It hurt.

It really, really hurt. Really hurt.

We'll just see what the week brings.

That's it, that's all I can say. It's a good start anyway.

It's a familiar pattern of tears and hugs,

which leaves Cathy feeling sad and confused.

OK, I'll be in me room.

-That's what happens all the time.

-Yeah, it's her time for a cuddle...

..and then I end up crying or if I have a row where...

it gets out of hand or whatever...you know,

I might say wrong things to her and she's saying back to me.

But he'll tell you, I just go into the kitchen and cry.

It's really, really sad, because she's a beautiful wee girl,

you know what I mean, and I'm the one she hurts.

I'm the one she hurts.

It's lunchtime,

and Amanda takes the opportunity to get to know the new arrivals.

-Do you all sit and eat together as a family or...?

-Me and my mum do.

-So you two eat together?

-Yes.

-And then...why won't you two join in?

-I'll be in the living room.

-I'll be in my room.

I just recently, to try and improve things in the house,

I made one day, a Tuesday, what's called "family night,"

but really what it means is we all sit at the table together

and have our dinner, and we try and then watch TV or do something,

-all of the four of us together.

-And does that work, or...?

-No, it never happens.

-It does happen.

No it doesn't, Shauna always goes out. She's allowed to leave.

I don't know if it's improved anything, but it has happened.

After lunch, Amanda gathers everyone together

for the first session of the week.

OK, so this is where we're going to start having some fun.

This session, we've asked you to bring an object

that represents you, and it's really just to help us all

get to know one another in a nice, relaxed way.

I thought I'd start, just so you know what I'm kind of talking about,

here's my object.

Bit strange, glue, the idea being that my role here this week is

to try and stick you all together.

Not literally, although I might if you're naughty.

It's a simple idea, but one which can yield surprisingly good results.

So it depends on whether they've taken it seriously or not,

but actually it's incredible how insightful

just that little thing can be.

What you often find is either there's humour or there's quite a bit

of emotion that comes along with it, so it's a great opener to the week.

It was hard for me to pick one, but what I brought is my computer mouse.

It's a bit like me because it's very logical, helpful

and always there when you need it,

which I think represents myself very well.

I brought along this little baby band,

basically because that's when my life changed and I changed.

And it represents a journey

from being totally selfish

and just thinking about myself to the first time I think

I ever had to think really and truly about anyone.

Is it strange to hear your mum say that she was selfish

-and all those things?

-Yeah, it is strange.

I didn't know she was like that before,

so it's quite surprising to hear.

But it's very nice to hear at the same time.

I brought my phone,

because I'm a typical teenager that loves to socialise

and talk to different people, make new friends

and it just shows that I'm a sociable person.

I've brought my microphone because it resembles being loud,

being loud and noticed, in the spotlight most of the time.

I will admit, I do like the attention, but...

All right, who's next?

Mine's is me "Dad" ring,

because it was Chloe and Orla and Rhys that bought it me.

They bought it me for Father's Day

and I just have it on me all the time.

-So you never take it off?

-No, no, no.

I've brought my bottle of Flash.

Right! OK... AMANDA LAUGHS

This symbolises me because I clean when I'm stressed,

I clean if things go wrong at home.

I was going to bring my Hoover.

I actually was going to bring my Hoover,

but I thought this was more handy to go in the suitcase.

If Chloe's having a bad day and I'm getting the brunt of it, I take

the Hoover out and for that five, ten minutes, everything's gone.

It's just me and the Hoover.

Is it strange to hear your mum say she's going to miss her Hoover

-and her mop?

-She cleans 24/7.

-Does she really?

-Aye.

-What's your object?

-My phone.

-A phone as well? There we are.

Since we're on the subject of phones, I might as well tell you now,

erm, you're going to give me all your phones.

You're allowed them at the end of the day,

but you're going to hand them in.

I know it's hard but it's going to help.

Like your mum's not got her Hoover, you're not going to have your phone.

Surprisingly, the teens show no resistance to Amanda's request,

and give up their phones without a fight.

There you go, they've already surprised you.

-They sure have.

-You two.

I just have...

my Ed Sheeran ticket and my granny's rings

-that I never take off.

-Oh, really? Let's see the rings.

That one and then that one.

Oh, so they're quite fancy rings.

She knows that Ciara really likes them

and they mean something special to her, so...

That's a lot of trust.

-What's your object?

-My object is a book,

and it's actually just to represent Rathlin Island

because in November 2010 I went to Rathlin Island for the first time

for a big long walk

and it was the start of me walking

and it's a real escapism for me.

Sorry.

It's time for me without the kids.

It just means a lot.

But it's something I need.

Working mum Siobhan has three daughters.

Middle sister Ciara is causing her mum increasing worry,

and Siobhan is desperate to try and improve things between them.

It can be very difficult at times, but I love her.

Sometimes we don't have the best relationship.

Communication can be very poor at times.

Me and my mum are like two completely different people.

It's like we're running two different frequencies all together.

I'm not going to be back by six.

I want you to come back for dinner,

-and then you can go back out with the dog.

-Why?

-Because that's what I want you to do.

-I never come home for dinner!

You should be coming home for dinner.

We're just, like, always on a very fine line,

and you're about to go one way or another.

And then sometimes we'll have real bad days,

and sometimes they'll be really good,

but very rarely it'll be very good.

D'you know where you're going later yet?

-They're going to come and get me now?

-Who's coming to get you now?

Shannon and Nicole.

And where are you going?

-Don't know. I'll ask them when they get here.

-Right.

So you're going to eat a brownie and you're going to eat an ice pop

-but you won't eat your dinner.

-I'll eat it then!

Basically a lot of the problem I have with Ciara is the trust issue.

She doesn't go to the places she says she's going to go to,

and there was an incident where she was going to sleep over with

two girls, and I phoned one of her friends to make sure

she was going to this place, and I spoke to the girl, I didn't speak to

the mother, I spoke to the girl and she said,

"Oh, yes, Ciara's coming and so and so's going to be here,"

but they actually went to a party instead.

And what time d'you think you're going to be home?

-Ten, quarter past ten.

-I would like you in at quarter to ten.

No, you normally let me out till ten.

I know, but tonight I want you in at quarter to ten. Quarter to ten.

Right!

There's been a couple of inatances where things have got really

out of control in the house,

and they nearly always involve the mobile phone.

No, the phone, I need it, cos I literally go mental

if I don't, I go a bit mad.

But isn't punishment about doing something that'll affect you?

Yeah, but not going mental, cos that doesn't affect me,

it affects everyone else.

No, I'm not eating them.

-It's just pasta and vegetables.

-I don't want it.

-Well, that's what your dinner is.

-I'll try it and let you know.

You just said you weren't hungry. And you're going to eat a brownie?

Sometimes you just have to let her walk away

if she decides that she's in that sort of violent outburst

and she wants to leave,

I have occasionally just let her leave, because I think maybe

it's better than her doing damage here or to someone else.

She cools down and then she'll come back again.

It disrupts everyone.

My elder daughter, she doesn't want to be here, you know,

a lot of the time because it's not a happy place to be.

So what we thought we'd do now, now that we've gotten to know each other

a little bit better, and we're kind of officially starting the process

is agree some ground rules.

This can't just come from myself or from Rachel,

it's got to include everyone, OK.

So we've all got to agree and sign up to these rules.

I'm going to start,

because I've already taken your phones away from you,

so, my rule,

"No mobile phones during the day."

-Trying your best not to swear or something?

-Mm-hm.

-No running in and out.

-No running in and out.

No judging people about their issues and problems.

Really listening to people's point of views.

I think my children think I'm very guilty of not listening to them.

No, you do. You add bits, though, and change it.

Parents often give up on rules for an easy life,

but despite all indications to the contrary,

most teens prefer to know where they stand, so negotiating

boundaries and sticking to them benefits the whole family.

What we'll do is we'll have a rule that, in the evenings,

evening dinners, some nights the teens are going to do the clearing up

and help with the washing

and some nights the adults are going to do the clearing up

and help with the washing. And tonight,

the teenagers are going to be doing the clearing up after dinner.

Ohhh!

So with the rules in place, it's time for the mind work to begin.

Getting to the root of these families' problems

and starting to make a difference in just one week is a huge challenge,

and Dr Rachel Andrew is going to be bringing all her

skills into play to try and do just that.

Within my sessions,

I draw on a number of different psychological approaches,

and I think it helps me tailor a certain intervention,

specifically for individual teenagers and their families.

Come on up and sit on the blanket with me.

Are you exhausted, Chloe?

What I wanted us to think about and talk about first was, erm,

the idea of a perfect parent.

What I wanted us to come up with is an advert for a perfect parent.

What qualities or strengths or things you'd be looking for

if you wanted someone to come forward to be your mum or dad.

With young people,

they'll often have conversations where they're the problem.

Other people will tell them they're the problem,

so by externalising the difficulty into something else that wants

something different for them, then it just frees them up

to talk about it in a completely different way.

So caring, you think that's an important thing for a parent to be?

That would be something that would be important to you, Chloe?

-That they would care for you?

-Understanding.

Yeah, that is a good one.

Like, of your problems and stuff, they would understand what

you're going through and try to help you with that.

Cos that's quite important to me

that someone understands what I'm going through.

They would need to be honest. Like, not to keep lies from you

and to tell you like it is instead of keeping things,

instead of them not thinking that you can handle it, like honest.

Wow, yes.

Ciara, I was thinking about honesty and thinking, is that

something that, d'you feel your mum is honest with you about things?

No, I don't really talk to her...

-Like, at all?

-Not about everything, like...

-..other than general stuff.

-Hmm.

Is there anything you think your mum could do differently

that would encourage you to talk to her more?

-I don't know.

-It's a tough one, isn't it?

'When we created the perfect parent ad,

'I was interested in what teenagers today want from their parents.

'So first of all, I was just interested in the sorts of qualities

'that they might come out with that they want from their parents.'

And what I also wanted them to do is then think about how difficult it

might be for a parent to consistently show those qualities all of the time.

You know, if this was an advert for a perfect parent,

and we put that out there, who would apply?

I don't think anybody could keep up with all that, every day for ever.

Well, that's it, I guess. There's never a day off with it, is there?

-D'you think you could do it?

-No.

I think we could all do them, but just not all the time,

like, not everybody could do it every day, 24/7.

There'll be at least one or two or three that you wouldn't do.

Even by accident.

So if this is what you would want from a parent,

-what do you think they're looking for from you?

-Good behaviour.

-Right.

Probably the same.

-Right.

-Like, respect.

Then again, they're like, humans as well,

who deserve the same respect back.

Rachel and Naomi may talk about respect,

but it's something they struggle to give each other.

On the surface, the Crilly household appears happy and harmonious,

but beneath the calm exterior, all is not as it seems.

For the past few years, it's been a constant war zone.

Petty arguments between sisters Naomi and Rachel escalate quickly,

sometimes resulting in physical injury.

Just ten months older than Rachel,

Josh watches quietly as the fights develop.

It's very predictable.

Like, there's nothing new, it's... they know what they're doing,

it's just that they don't know how to control themselves.

-Why?! Why?

-You took this out on me, I mean, I only sat down...

-You came in!

-So?!

Why d'you have to walk in on problems?!

Why d'you have to walk in on my problems?!

There's really not a day that would go by

where me and Rachel wouldn't have an outbreak,

a lot of hitting and punching

and a lot of tears, and one time,

cos we were so angry that I broke the Hoover

and started smacking her with it.

They got on so well as children, but the issues arose for each of them

in varying degrees when they became teenagers.

-Rachel, she's very stressed.

-Oh, my gosh.

I'm sticking to my story, I didn't do anything...

-Then get out!

-Just by being here, you annoy her.

Last summer, the girls were sharing a room,

the biggest bedroom in the house, but it got so bad that I was

genuinely afraid, because by the time it took me to get up

the stairs to separate them, they could do each other serious damage.

This has always been my room, me and Naomi's room but it's been changed.

This used to be my mum's bed, now it's my bed. Naomi's room.

Mum sleeps downstairs.

It's only a three-bedroom house,

so I sleep down here on the sofa for about a year now.

And it's just to...

..ease pressure.

And then she's always complaining about it,

like, it's uncomfortable and stuff, but it keeps me

and Rachel from fighting, so it does, most nights, even though

we still fight, even though we've got different rooms.

We still find a way to argue.

I don't have any emotions any more, I can't afford to...

..because if they're emotional, I'm emotional.

Family life would collapse, so...

..I don't do emotions any more.

I haven't for a long time.

Andrea's so busy handling the conflicts at home,

she gives little thought to her own needs.

Not only does Amanda want her to take this opportunity

to think about herself, she also wants to turn the tables

and get the teens to consider their mum's life for a change.

You should ask your kids what they think you should do,

cos they know you more than anyone else.

Come here, I've got a question to ask you.

So, we're just chatting to your mum about what she would do

once you're all grown up, and she's got no idea.

Go on a dating site or something.

-You could let them write your dating profile.

-Ohhh!

What, like, 25-year-old Brazilian you're probably going to write.

My mum started dating when we were younger

but we were upset about that cos we were still young.

Yeah, I remember Mum wanted to talk about it and I always said,

"I don't want another man in the house."

I didn't want Mum to have a boyfriend.

I would rather wait until I leave

and then my mum could do what she wanted,

but I'm just not comfortable.

We can't keep waiting until we're comfortable for Mum to go

and have a life or it might never start,

so I think...if she wants to go and meet someone, she should.

-How does that make you feel?

-Really uncomfortable.

I think it's lovely, actually.

I think it's really nice that they're thinking about you

over and above just them, cos they're wanting you to be happy,

not just to be their parent, so I think that's amazing.

I'm going to go and lie in a dark room now!

Evening all, how are we?

-Are we all happy?

-Yeah, we are.

-Isn't it wonderful?

As they settle down for dinner,

Siobhan's already taking comfort in the discovery that actually

she's no different from lots of other parents.

It's really nice because it's not just me,

it happens all over the place with lots of people.

Yeah, and they're very alike, kids, in the way they react at home

and the things that we have to deal with are virtually the same.

And after a day focusing on Chloe, Cathy and Beano have had to face the

reality of having their two younger kids back for the evening meal.

It was more stressful because Orla and Rhys was there.

I felt stressful, it's like I am at home anyway.

I can't sit down to eat anything

because I'm too worried what they're doing,

but it's more embarrassing than anything

because there's other people around the tables.

(He went up by himself!)

But Chloe was amazing, I just couldn't believe it,

the way that she sat and she ate, and I kept reassuring her,

"Taste it, taste it." She did and she ate it.

After just one day away from home,

that's not the only positive thing Cathy's noticed about Chloe.

Her joining in with the other kids is brilliant.

They're total strangers and she's just put herself right in there.

Before she could never associate with people her own age,

it was always adults, but she is gradually,

and the medication's helping as well.

I'm going to sit and talk to her the night,

going to try and mark my time, you know,

maybe 15-20 minutes before she goes to bed, speak to her

about how the day went, how does she feel about everybody else here.

I'm going to try anyway. If she doesn't, I'll not push her.

But hopefully, that's what I'm here for, to see if she will open up.

With the washing up still to be done, Siobhan's not sure

that the teens' earlier agreement to the rules will be honoured.

At home they don't stick by anything they agree to,

so we'll see does it work here.

If we can get them back, of course.

The dishwashing team has been rounded up,

but Siobhan can't quite trust them

to do it properly without instruction.

Dishes first. Scrape everything in there.

Haven't a clue what they're doing!

Haven't a clue!

"Is this water?!"

Would you not like to get the dishes?

Yes.

Josh usually doesn't even like getting his hands wet!

Ciara, get closer to the bin.

Get closer to the bin and stuff won't go on the floor.

Don't criticise!

It's nice to find that common ground, you know,

that you're not the only one who has difficulties with teenagers.

Cos sometimes when you're alone, you can think,

"Boy, I must be a really bad mother,

"for my children to behave like this!"

It's common enough.

Next time, can the families work as teams?

There's no point getting cross with people!

No, you're rubbish! That's enough!

Tempers start to flare.

It seems to be all about you!

Wouldn't be me, it's nothing to do with us...

we're not on no diets, are we?!

There are tears, triumphs...

-Save me!

-..and total resignation.

(Ohh, teenagers!)

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd