Episode 2 No More Boys and Girls: Can Our Kids Go Gender Free?

We live in a country where men and women are meant to be equal.

Same pay, same careers, same opportunities.

But children as young as seven

think that boys and girls are fundamentally different.

I think boys are cleverer than girls.

Men are better at, like, being in charge.

I would describe a girl as being pretty.

And that these differences will

define the lives they live as adults.

If a woman has a child, the men have to go to work and earn some money.

Men are more successful because they could have more harder jobs.

I don't believe that biology alone can explain these differences.

I think the answer lies in the society we live in.

I'm Dr Javid Abdelmoneim.

What if they called you all Sweet Pea?

-No!

-No!

I'm going to find out if by turning

a class of seven-year-old primary school children...

What are we doing?

..gender neutral...

You've got to start going to the same toilet.

No!

..I can change the way they think about themselves.

Everyone can have a chance to do what they like.

And the way they think about their future.

I do not like reading but I liked reading that book.

And if I can do that,

perhaps there's a chance of making their adult lives really equal.

Made to be underpaid. Would you dress your daughter in that?

It kind of makes something that seems so innocent

not really that innocent after all.

But it isn't going to be easy.

I don't want to do it any more!

I want it to go back to boys and girls.

I didn't think I could do it at first.

What we're trying to do could actually be very difficult.

I think you're going to struggle.

Every child deserves the same opportunities in life,

but unless we stop treating our boys and girls differently,

that simply isn't going to happen.

This is Lanesend Primary School on the Isle of Wight...

Good morning, everyone.

-STUDENTS:

-Good morning, Mrs Sice.

Good morning, everybody.

..where, at the beginning of the term,

I ran a series of tests to measure the level of difference between

the boys and girls in this class of seven-year-olds.

Differences in areas like levels of self-esteem,

confidence and empathy.

And the results were shocking.

I'm seeing here evidence that the girls significantly underestimate

how clever they are, and have less self-esteem and self-confidence.

I think men are better at, like, being in charge.

And the boys can't seem to express their emotions.

What's happiness?

Um...

I don't know.

Except anger, which is really disturbing.

You've done it, you just have to let go!

Hot-headed.

Knock-knock! CHEERING

Are we learning today?

I'm determined to tackle these differences

via a number of interventions.

How are you, sir? Nice to see you.

To see if by treating the children the same

those differences will disappear.

We've got some boards which you're all going to help put up.

It says that boys are strong.

CHEERING

But so are girls. CHEERING

Girls are strong!

And that has meant getting rid of anything

that marks out boys and girls as different.

From their classroom to their teacher.

Lexi, are you all right there, love?

You said, "Love!" You just called Lexi "love!"

I'm halfway through my time here at Lanesend,

and I've had some success in getting the children to think differently

about traditional roles for men and women.

I think that it's really cool that it's a girl mechanic.

And how they view each other and what they are capable of.

Now I think that girls and boys can be strong.

But it hasn't all been plain sailing.

BOY SOBS

And it's clear that I'm facing attitudes that even the people who

know them best see as deeply ingrained.

I think, from the moment they're born, they are aware of gender,

from the clothes that they're given to the language people use.

So, even though we do a lot of work around it,

it's very much that they've still got very set mind-sets

on what is acceptable for their gender.

It's a new day at Lanesend.

And week three of my time with Graham Andre's class

of seven-year-olds.

In just a couple of weeks,

these children will be retested to see if any of my interventions have

managed to reduce the differences between them as boys and girls.

OK, yesterday afternoon, we did some puzzles.

Who would like to do another one again this morning?

CHILDREN: Me!

Including when it comes to their ability to manipulate shapes

and understand patterns.

Known as spatial awareness.

Has everybody got the challenge?

CHILDREN: Yes.

Start now. Go.

Something that boys, thanks in part to the kinds of toys they play with,

have a natural advantage at.

I think Minecraft and Lego help me

because you can build stuff in Minecraft and Lego

and try and fit in a lot of blocks.

An advantage that results in boys' dominance in jobs like

engineering and architecture.

In fact, in the UK,

only 13% of people in science and maths-related careers are women.

Give yourself some room there, Grace.

And that is a shocking waste of potential talent.

Because I'm looking at the sheet.

So to help the girls develop their spatial abilities,

I've given all the children Tangram puzzles.

These are games that brain train the children

and help them develop spatial awareness skills.

Wow...

HE LAUGHS

So what you've done here is you've flipped it around,

so you've done like a mirror image.

That's amazing, that, Finn.

Have a look carefully, whereabouts is the green triangle?

And can you put it where it is?

So, there is the green triangle,

then what comes next to it?

-Purple.

-Purple.

But for some, my plan isn't working.

I don't get how to do them properly.

A lot of the girls are struggling with it, and,

like, Bradley and Finlay on my table, they were really good at it.

I'm worried that the children should be getting better at these puzzles,

but the girls simply aren't.

Argh! This is impossible!

I want to find out if the difference between them is so marked

because male and female brains are structurally different.

As part of my experiment,

I've been getting some insight from Dr Gina Rippon.

The brain is very, very plastic.

It really refers to the notion of being mouldable, changeable,

that something isn't necessarily fixed and invariant,

which is what was always thought about the brain.

So that's why it was assumed that if females had a particular brain,

that was it, you know, you went along on those particular tramlines.

But because we know that brains are very plastic,

different experiences will change the brain,

so lots of examples of boys having spatial skills because of Lego,

but girls also play in a different way.

If they like playing with dolls, etc,

very often they will develop little scripts that their toys have.

So they become more verbal, more interactive.

Both of them really important skills.

But they will be developing differently.

So, some of the behavioural differences that we see could relate

not to the fact that this is a brain from a girl or a brain from a boy,

but it's a brain from somebody who did play with Lego

and somebody else who didn't play with Lego.

Gina is clear that the experiences kids have in childhood,

the toys they play with, and the world they inhabit

shape the abilities they develop and physically change their brains.

So how different does a boy and girl's childhood really look today?

OK.

This is the result of a quick trawl down the high street from Debenhams

to Next, to Matalan, to Argos, M&S, John Lewis,

right across the price range.

There are exceptions out there, but far more than when I was growing up.

It just seems to be an overwhelming avalanche of blue for boys

and pink for girls.

High street stores don't necessarily have aisles marked boys and girls,

but it's quite clear what's meant for who.

There are whole sections packed with pink toys aimed at girls,

so pink domestic appliances, pink prams.

And the tool boxes and construction kits are all blue.

If children's brains really are moulded by what they experience,

then this total divide between what's the boys' world

and what is the girls' world worries me.

But what does this pink and blue world look like to a parent?

-Hiya, Lee. How are we doing?

-Hi, Javid, how are you?

-Fine, thank you.

-Nice to see you.

To find out, I have come to the pinkest place I can think of -

an eight-year-old girl's birthday party.

In the pink tent, that's where the party is.

-It is very pink, isn't it?

-Yes.

Edie's party is an avalanche of pink,

sparkles and feather boas.

So you like being a girlie girl?

-Yeah.

-What does it mean to you to be a girlie girl?

Just being a girl.

Edie loves being pampered, she loves having her nails done,

it makes her feel special.

She loves all the sparkle that goes with it, and the dressing up.

Glitter tattoos.

Because its all very pink and girlie.

Edie is having a great time.

Aquabeads. I've already got this.

But this focus on looks and appearance

makes me feel uncomfortable.

Gina has told me that if little girls play with certain toys

then it has a fundamental effect on how their brains develop.

And dress-up dolls and craft sets

won't help Edie become an engineer.

What did you get her?

We got her some pots,

different highlighter pens,

a multicoloured pom-pom ball for her schoolbag,

and a big sort of eraser that's also a pencil sharpener as well.

Because girls just love arts and crafts.

Would you get that for a boy?

No.

It seems to me that when we give children the kind of presents that

we think they want, all it does is affect what they are capable of.

So what's the deal for boys, and the toys adults choose for them?

Hello! Hi, Nile, how are you doing?

-Good.

-Upstairs?

Yep.

I've come to see Nile to find out.

-You'll be surprised.

-Look at this tool box,

you've got an actual huge tool box and it's full of Lego.

What's your favourite thing to play with?

This.

Wow.

That looks like that goes pretty high.

-Yeah.

-Does it? Did you build that?

-Yeah.

-I thought there would be clothes in here.

No. There is toys and guns.

Oh, my gosh!

Lots of gun toys, yeah.

-You're good at shooting.

-This is my favourite.

I've got two cowboy guns.

So, basically, you like Lego, you like shooting guns,

and you like your heroes.

That's fair enough. I liked all of those things.

What's the best thing about being a boy?

They get cooler Nerf guns than girls,

cos girls only get Nerf Rebelles

that aren't better than the boys' Nerf guns.

I have no idea what you're talking about,

but the best thing about being a boy is that you get to play with guns,

is what I'm hearing.

No, boys get cooler Nerf guns than girls.

OK. So who are better, then? Boys or girls?

-Boys.

-Why?

Because they get cooler stuff.

HE LAUGHS

It's clear Nile loves his toys.

But where does mum, Rebecca, think that comes from?

Pre-having him, I was a big fan of the nurture argument.

I always thought it's how you bring them up, it's what you do with them,

it's what you expose them to.

Then I had Nile.

And far more is ingrained,

far more is part of Nile than I ever realised.

I had a bit of an anti-gun rule until he started school,

but then he made them out of Lego and sticks and everything,

and one day he said,

"Look, Mum, I've got a handgun, you can't take this one off me."

And I knew about that point

I'd probably lost the weaponry argument.

It's totally, totally changed my view of all of it.

Well, if that is the case, then what

we're trying to do could actually be very difficult.

I think you're going to struggle.

Thanks, Nile.

-Bye.

-Thanks for showing me your toys, OK?

-Bye-bye. Thanks a lot.

-OK.

Children occupy a world where adults

are giving them messages constantly

about what it means to be a boy or a girl,

so parents who say that it's in their child's nature

just to act a certain way or to like certain toys, it came from them.

And they in turn received the same messages from their parents

and so on and so forth. The cycle just goes on.

And I believe this influence isn't just limited to choosing toys.

It's also found in the clothes parents buy for their children.

Best ever bro. Cool dude.

So let's just see what the equivalent for the girls is.

So if we go to girls... Oh, God.

I'm finding this upsetting, looking through these clothing websites.

Nearly all of the online stores I've looked at here

start with a girls-boys tab.

So straight away you're separating the clothing,

and then when you look at it, it's mainly pink and blue.

It's not just that, it's the slogans.

For example, this one for girls - forever beautiful.

This one for boys - here comes trouble.

They seem pretty harmless,

and I think lots of people would dress their children in that,

but I wonder if parents even think about that,

or even are aware of the link between the slogans

and how their children think.

So I am going to design some T-shirts to really explore that.

I'm going to put my T-shirts with my slogans alongside the ones from the

shops to see if the parents at Lanesend see any harm in it at all.

Do you want to stay and hear about the T-shirts?

-I've got another child to pick up.

-OK.

But first, I just need the parents to stop for a minute.

Would you like to stay and wait and watch a T-shirt exhibit I've got?

-I can't, I've got to go somewhere, but thank you.

-OK.

Are you sure you don't want to stop, Maisy's mum?

-Sorry, I can't.

-It's really interesting.

-Is it?

-Can you wait and see something on the T-shirts,

I've got something to say. No?

You're happy not to stay?

George, nice to meet you.

Eventually, a few parents come over to take a look.

-Hello.

-Hello.

Here are the parents and the kids, how are you doing?

So, today, I wanted to show you some T-shirts

and get your ideas about what they say.

So, what do you think of this? Forever beautiful.

Would you let your daughter wear this?

Yeah? Seems pretty OK.

Well, what about

looks are everything?

Shake of the head. Did you know that in Mr Andre's class in the school,

when girls were asked to describe themselves,

they only used words like lipstick, pretty...

One of them even used the word ugly to describe themselves.

And then the next one that says, "Boys are better."

-Would you dress your daughter in that?

-No.

-Would you wear it?

-No.

When we asked the girls, "Who do you think are better, boys or girls?"

all of them except one said boys are better.

Made to be underpaid.

You all disagree? OK. But I think it's a sequence.

I think when you start putting your daughter in this, forever beautiful,

you are just telling her that looks are everything,

they end up thinking boys are better,

and that results in them being made to be underpaid.

At first, I didn't really see the problem,

but as it progressed through the line of T-shirts and slogans

I could see the link between the first one and all the others.

It kind of makes something that seems so innocent

not really that innocent after all.

To be honest with you, I never

thought about it much, about these things.

We stereotype our kids,

and the girls only be pretty, only appearance, OK,

not talking about what actually, potentially, the girls can be.

And it's not just girls.

So, what does that say?

Here comes trouble.

Would you put your little boy in that? Seems pretty OK.

Boys don't cry.

Wrong.

Yeah? Would you let your boy wear that T-shirt?

-Or buy it for him?

-No.

No? How about - tough guys don't talk?

-No?

-Wrong.

Finally - bottled up and ready to burst.

How many of you see your little boys unable to express themselves,

getting all frustrated and angry?

We did a little experiment in Mr Andre's class,

and the boys were unable to use as many words to describe

different emotions as the girls.

And the only emotion they could describe as well as the girls

was anger. That's disturbing.

For me, again, it's a sequence.

When you put your boy in this T-shirt, which seems...

"Here comes trouble," isn't that fun?

Well, it ends up being "bottled up and ready to burst."

I think it's something that we are maybe doing subconsciously,

because it's not something I've considered before.

Because I think I grew up the same way.

I was always taught that, yeah, boys are tough and things like that.

Now it's been pointed out to me,

I can definitely see the way that the message is being reinforced.

And certainly, I'd think twice before putting my little boy

in a T-shirt that says, "Here comes trouble," I think, definitely.

When I finally managed to stop some parents, they were really shocked,

actually, and I think I might have really got them to think hard

about what clothes they put their children in.

And I actually genuinely feel really frustrated that I couldn't have got

many, many more parents to stop and listen.

I think I need to step things up a little.

Everything the children are saying...

Boys are cleverer because most mathematicians are boys.

Blue is for boys and pink is for girls.

All you really see girls doing

is having fun on their phones or maybe singing

and they don't really do anything big like, um, being astronauts.

And all I've learnt from the testing at the beginning of term

is telling me that the issues these children are facing

are too big to fix, just in the classroom.

So if the parents aren't going to engage voluntarily,

I'm going to have to be a bit more direct.

I'm going to get the parents involved,

but it's not going to be easy

because they're not thinking that they're doing anything wrong.

So what I've done is,

I've put together some exercises for them to do.

For example, some gender word associations,

so there's a long list of words here

and I'd like the parents to sit down,

communicate with their children

and decide whether they think the word is

more associated with boys, girls or both.

Other things, including household chores.

I'd like to get them to change what they do at home,

to try and show their children

that both Mum and Dad can do all the chores.

I'm also going to include some plastic sacks

and I'd like them to put into those sacks anything in the house

that's got messages on it that's

reinforcing differences between the sexes.

OK, get your things.

Off you go.

I've got Graham to ask the parents to stay behind

to pick up their homework.

OK. Parents.

You know how the kids have homework?

That's parents' homework.

Yay!

It's only a few hours of the day in there,

and there's quite a few hours at home,

so we want to try and get

the most out of this experiment as possible, OK?

So, there are quite a few asks in here.

Ranging from the way you speak,

the activities you do,

the chores you do and who does them.

These sacks are for you, please,

to declutter the bedroom of anything that's excessively gendered.

So, for the girls, all the pink, princessy things

and for the boys, all the superhero guns.

How many sacks have you got there?

Four. Four big sacks.

Do you think this is going to be easy?

-No.

-No, there was a firm no from Riley's mum.

-Yep.

-He's strong-willed, isn't he?

-He's very strong willed.

You can relate what you are doing in the house to

what's been happening in the classroom and link it up.

Just say, "Right, tell me what you've been doing in the classroom."

If it's positive, I'd like, now,

to do that at home and this is part of that process.

Take one of these A4 pockets and pass them out.

And here are your sacks.

I can imagine the sacks are going to be hard.

I've just realised how girlie everything Maisy owns is.

We have a wardrobe for dressing up princess dresses!

So have I!

-That's hard, isn't it?

-What's that?

-Nicknames.

-Nicknames.

To stop that, yes. Mr Andre has been doing that in the class.

And he thought, losing that sort of...

It's a tenderness, losing that tenderness,

that nickname might be negative on the children

but he hasn't seen any of that.

So, a little bit of homework.

Sometimes I might say, you know, "You get your beauty sleep" or,

"Get your sleep like a princess."

So I may have to change that.

Nicknames and that,

probably he doesn't really pay much attention to.

It goes in one ear and out the other when they're that age, doesn't it?

Toys, it really is only iPad, PlayStation or football.

Nerf guns every so often, but, then, he does play that with his sister.

Doesn't that count?

Do they have to be taken away?

His is boys' and hers is pink, I must admit.

There are going to be some things in there that the kids themselves are

going to resist and then the parents are going to find that very hard to

execute. It's easy enough for the parents to say,

"Yes, we are going to do this."

But let's see if they actually do it.

If I'm going to remove all the differences

from the children's school day,

there's one thing I just can't ignore.

I've got a potentially controversial idea.

What I want to do is really challenge the idea

in the boys' and girls' minds

that they are different, by making them equal in the toilet.

At home, toilets are unisex.

In nurseries, they're unisex and, increasingly,

in larger numbers of workplaces, they're unisex,

so why not when you're seven?

-Mr Andre?

-Hello, Javid.

-CHILDREN:

-Hello, Javid.

Good morning. Good, good. I'd like to borrow the kids, if I can.

Is that all right?

Quickly, come with me, kids.

-Javid, what are we doing?

-You'll find out.

Come with me.

Stick together.

Ronnie, Owen, keep coming.

OK. We've been doing loads of work in class.

We've been doing loads of work with Mr Andre, isn't that right?

Learning lots, OK?

So, you've got to start going to the same toilet.

-No!

-No!

-No!

So this ladies is now going to become unisex.

By getting the children to share the toilet,

I hope to encourage them to start seeing themselves as equals.

Is it pink in there, still?

It is, Riley, yeah, it is. GROANS

I haven't got round to painting it. We may not.

Will you paint it blue?

So, this is now your Class Three toilet.

LAUGHTER AND GROANS

-OK?

-I need a wee right now.

Who wants to go right now?

ALL: Me!

I think it was a good idea for boys and girls to share, because,

like, the boys know what girls' toilets are like.

Do you want to share your toilet with boys?

-No.

-Why not?

Because I've never shared one with a boy.

So, do you think it's quite cool you get to use the girls' toilets now?

No, don't like it.

-You don't like it?

-No.

-Why not?

Just don't like it.

If you think about it, you think it's a bit gross, and a bit like,

"Oh, that's weird."

Do you think it might help boys and girls to understand each other more?

No.

This is clearly going to be a challenge for the children,

but while they get used to sharing their toilet...

..I want to catch up with the parents

and see what progress they've made with the homework I set them.

Part of the homework was word association,

going through lists of words often considered to have masculine or

feminine characteristics...

-Hello.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-I'm fine, thank you.

-Hi, Maisy, how is it? Are you good?

-Come on in.

..and challenging the meaning that children attach to them.

I'm keen to see how that's been going.

So this was the exercise where you had to do word association.

-Yeah.

-A whole list of words,

whether they were associated with boys or girls or both.

And she has put every single one in both, that's interesting.

And there are words like skipping rope.

-Yeah.

-Sewing...

But there's also war, you know?

I didn't know if she thought they should go in both.

-Yes.

-So I said to her at one point,

which she told me off because she said,

"Javid said there is no right answer."

Got a little telling off there!

I kind of prompted her to put it in boy or girl just to see

and she was adamant, "No, no, both."

And she'd give me explanations and reasons why both do it.

OK, great.

It's encouraging that

Maisy and her mum are starting to think differently.

OK...

But before I congratulate myself that the homework intervention is

a success, there is still the small issue of bagging up the girlie toys.

And from the look of things,

it's something that Michelle hasn't even attempted.

So, I mean, the idea is to be quite strict, really,

-anything that's gendered.

-OK.

We have a whole lot of princess going on.

Wow!

-Gosh, I'm afraid that has to go.

-OK.

This does seem a bit cruel.

-I know.

-We want Maisy to understand that, you know,

-she can aspire to more than just being a princess.

-A princess.

This is actually quite an epic one, this.

That was a birthday party dress.

We did do princesses and pirates.

Did any of the girls come as pirates?

Yes, I did have girlie pirates, well, girl pirates.

Any boys come as princesses?

-No.

-No.

-All right.

-The Barbie dolls, we have many.

-Yes.

-Outta here!

-Yeah, so we'll take them out.

Emoji cushions.

-They can stay.

-They can stay?

Ah, so we are finding one or two.

-Yeah.

-One or two toys that aren't skewed.

It is overly girlie.

I don't think I realised until it was in a bag

how girlie it was, actually.

I don't know how Maisy's going to react.

Maybe she's going to be a bit upset, I think.

You know what you're doing at school?

-Yeah.

-All the changes that we've made there?

We're trying to just continue that at home,

so that you get the fullest idea.

-Does that make sense?

-Yeah.

-Bye-bye.

-Bye.

I know that children of Maisy's age choose many of their own toys,

but it seems to me that isn't much of a choice if their options are

limited by a world that only offers them pink for girls

and blue for boys.

I think it goes some way to explain

why men and women follow such different paths in life.

Research by the Institute of Engineers found that

toys with a science and engineering focus

were three times more likely to be targeted at boys.

It seems like tough love,

but this parent homework is about changing the environment, and,

in this case, removing the toys is all about

levelling out the skill differences through play.

Now, for me, it's all about the bigger picture.

I really hope all the parents get this idea.

If there's one thing I've learned from visiting the children's homes,

it's that they really love their toys and it doesn't seem fair to me

to remove them without offering them a replacement.

CHEERING

But I want to prove when we see Nile with his guns

or Maisy with her dolls,

it's a preference that is, in many ways, learned.

I want to see what will happen if I give them toys where I've removed

all packaging that would normally tell a child

if a toy was for a boy or a girl.

Inside the paper bags are some toys.

Look at my bag!

I've given the children either a marble run,

a teddy bear sewing kit,

an arts and crafts set

or a robot model.

Ooh, it's a model.

What..do you do...

with four gloves?

That goes there.

Which one do you like better, the bear or the bunny?

The one boyish.

The next morning, I'm keen to see how the children got on.

So I've asked them to design a poster for their toy.

I think it's, like, aimed at boys, because it's kind of green.

Boys buy that stuff, because of what the outside package looks like.

-Yeah.

-Most of the time,

because they make it look more girlie or more boyish, don't they?

Yeah. I actually agree with that, completely.

Completely, wow, I've never heard you say that before!

These new toys have become a talking point for the class.

-Riley, what do you think about it?

-I think it's for boys and girls.

If there were lots and lots of things in a shop,

would you buy something like this, normally?

That's hard, because I'd get Lego,

I would get a football thing, I'd get...

I like a Build-A-Bear teddy.

So you wouldn't normally go for something like this,

but because it was given to you, have you enjoyed it though?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, so do you think you'd do something like this again?

-Yeah.

-Do you think? Thank you.

When I first opened it, I was like, "Mum, they gave me a boy thing."

Then when I actually started doing it,

I got really into it and I begged Mum to go to town

and buy me some more stuff like this.

-Really? That's really nice.

-So they did.

I think they're for boys and girls, even though the packaging,

they usually make it look really girlie or really boyish.

I'm particularly pleased with Riley, who loved his sewing kit.

-My mum couldn't make it.

-Couldn't she?

-No.

-So you had to do it?

-I had to.

-Did you?

Hopefully, this will see him on the path to a whole new range

of creative and nurturing skills,

which should be reflected in his scores for empathy

and emotional vocab when we retest the class.

I think yours goes backwards.

-That's...

-No, cos that's why the eyes go there, the eyes are there so

it goes forwards, so it can see.

It seems clear to me

that if you take pink and blue out of the equation

and encourage children to play with a wider range of toys,

they'll like them. It has an effect.

For the boys, like Riley, to develop creativity and nurturing skills.

While most of the girls have

taken to the construction toys like ducks to water.

It's been a while since I introduced the unisex toilets to the children.

My hope was that by using the same toilet,

the children would see themselves as equals.

But are they happy about the change?

It was better before with just the girls, because it was really quiet.

I don't like it cos when I went to the toilet,

I saw the boys all coming out and they didn't wash their hands

and that was pretty gross, and they didn't flush.

The boys' toilets are the four toilets,

so you don't have to wait as long.

The boys are really annoying in there.

Since the toilets has been boys' and girls'

I've been trying to hold it all day, and it's been really hard.

I want it to go back to boys' and girls' separate toilets.

It looks like I've succeeded in making the children equal -

equally unhappy with my same-sex toilet.

When I first met Graham's class,

it was striking how strong their opinions were when it came

to the roles of men and women in society.

Girls look after the child and boys do lots of cool stuff.

If the woman has a child,

the men have to go to work and earn some money.

These are very set ideas about who does what

when it comes to life at home.

Mums wash up...

..and do the dinners.

But they also reflect what the children think

men and women can achieve.

If they go unchallenged,

then equality in adult life is never going to happen.

Men usually just lie on the sofa and snore.

So, as part of the homework I set the parents,

I wanted to challenge these ideas,

especially when it came to getting dads up off the sofa.

What is surprising is that the children are telling me one thing

about how the chores are shared at home,

but the dads are telling me something very different.

I don't think there's a difference between me and my wife.

I cook, she cooks.

I do gardening, she does gardening,

everything is equal in our family,

and it should be, you know, like that.

-A bit more, do you think?

-Yeah, put some more on.

And the facts are on the children's side.

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

A study by the Office of National Statistics found that,

across the country, women do 60% more unpaid work -

cooking, childcare, housework - than men.

-What do you think of that then, Gracie?

-Good.

-Good?

-Good.

Can I have a taste test first?

Yeah, do you want a bit?

Out of ten?

-Ten.

-Ten!

Wow.

What is shocking is that there is no reason to think that

these dads don't help out, but even when they do,

it has no effect on the children's assumptions about who should,

in their minds, be doing these jobs.

I want to see what will happen

when the children are given the opportunity

to take on these jobs outside the classroom.

Here we go! Who's excited?

CHEERING

Will they go with their assumptions,

or will having seen their dads up their commitment to domestic chores

at home have rubbed off?

Who can see the sea?

-ALL:

-Me!

So I've organised a school day-trip to the beach to find out.

Oh! That sand feels good, doesn't it?

I've set up two tasks for the children.

Build a fire pit, and make a picnic.

At the start of my time on the Isle of Wight,

I've no doubt that these children

would have thought that picnic-making was a woman's job.

And that fire-making was a man's.

I want to see if those views have changed.

I'd like you guys to just start prepping the beach area.

Some of you need to start preparing the picnic.

And some of you need to start preparing the firewood,

to toast marshmallows later.

Decide between yourselves who's going to do what,

while Mr Andre and I start preparing the activities.

OK?

I want to do the picnic.

They just split into two, almost equal numbers of groups,

-I think it's 10 and 12.

-It is, yes.

I thought they'd all go for the fire pit.

You know, it's quite an exciting thing.

Actually, in terms of boys and girls,

I think there are just more girls on this one, on the picnic group.

I'm surprised about which boys are actually at the picnic group.

You've got Bradley, Riley and Finn.

So, actually, three of the strongest footballing-type boys.

It's a great start.

Girls seem to have grown in confidence and assertiveness.

-Oh, no.

-We need to put up the...

-Yeah.

I think Lily's conducting an orchestra there.

Yes, Lily's just taken over, hasn't she?

What can we use to put all the vegetables in?

She seems to have an idea of what needs to be...

She's very much in the centre.

Yes. And the others seem to be going with that.

You can still dig with your hands.

Funnily enough, it's Kara

who seems to have taken a bit of charge on this one...

I'm going to flatten it.

..and brought the group together to work.

And the boys are happy doing a task that just a few weeks ago,

they never would have tried.

They need to be thinner, don't they?

Cut them in quarters. Cut them in halves. Cut them in halves.

I've got it!

I'll teach you how to do it.

But before long, some of the boys revert to type.

So, Riley and Bradley seem to be doing their own task over there,

-is that right?

-Yeah!

-We're trying to make World War II.

Why have you stopped doing this?

Because it's hard.

Why is it hard?

Because, like, if I'm not a girl, like, every time...

Riley!

This is my trench.

So what made you come over here?

We got bored doing that.

-Doing the picnic?

-Yeah.

-Why?

-It's for girls.

Right, it would be good if you could go back to what you started

doing, please. Is that OK?

THEY GROAN We can't have a third activity.

Come on. Good job.

Come on, Bradley, come on, Riley.

There's still some, sort of,

stereotypical behaviour going on here.

Particularly with the few of the boys losing interest really quickly

when preparing the picnic.

You know, you ask Riley, "Why did you get bored of it?"

"Oh, well, it's for girls."

That might just be because it reflects what their

day-to-day activity might have been at the beach.

Mum would prepare the picnic. Dad prepare the fire.

That's exactly what I'm trying to challenge here today.

OK, let's all have lunch, kids.

CHEERING

Come and sit down.

These sandwiches are amazing.

I made those sandwiches.

What's a trip to the seaside without beach games?

And over my time with the children

I've learned that one game has a huge amount of power over the boys.

It's how they define themselves, and girls are very much excluded.

When I grow up, I want to be a football player.

Who's better at football, boys or girls?

-Boys.

-Why?

Because...

..they just are.

Do you ever play with the boys at playtime?

Not often.

Because they are usually playing football.

When the boys play it, it gets a bit rough.

Football seems to be massive currency at the school,

particularly for the boys, of course.

How good you are at it, how much you know about it

really seems to define you as a boy's boy.

But I've talked to some of the girls,

and they actually really want to play, they just don't have a chance.

Right, kids.

-Football!

-Football!

Look at Riley. I haven't even said what we are doing yet, Riley.

The activity this afternoon is football.

SOME CHEERS

There's going to be a match at the end of the day.

But you've got to practise first.

I'd like you to practise together in mixed teams, all right?

So how about everyone to this side go and practise over there.

Everyone that side go and practise over there as one team, OK?

Come on.

The children couldn't be clearer.

Boys are good at football, girls aren't.

Handball.

But everything I've seen so far

says any difference is purely down to practice.

And just like with Tangram puzzles, with practice,

the plasticity of the brain will mean the girls will get better.

Boys and girls have got the same bones in their legs.

They've got the same pair of eyes.

Actually, gram for gram, they are the same strength.

So why are boys better at football?

Because they do it more.

And girls could be just as good at this age,

if they had a chance to do that practice.

The practice is going OK.

The children are running around,

with the odd example of boys helping girls.

Wait, do you want to do shooting?

But now I want to test for a deeper change

in the boys' attitudes to the girls.

I'm going to offer a choice.

And their answer will give me an idea just how far they've come

over the last four weeks.

Come over here if you want to learn goalie.

OK. That was a really good practice session.

Now it's time for the match.

But I'm going to give you the option

to revert back to boys versus girls.

No.

Do you want to do that?

-Yes!

-No!

INDISTINCT SHOUTS

Javid...

Stop, stop!

Riley, you have an idea?

Yeah, stay in our mixed teams like this,

because we've got a good formation and the boys always play football,

and we'll beat the girls,

because the girls don't play football that often.

So I'm hearing that you'd like to stay in the mixed team,

because otherwise the boys will beat the girls, and it wouldn't be fair?

It will be like 12-nil.

Hands up for who wants to stay in the mixed teams?

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,

11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16.

And who wants to stay in the boys versus girls?

Four of them. Five of them.

OK, so we will stay mixed.

CHEERING

Let's do red to the right, and green to the left.

Here we go, Greens.

We're Man United!

As I see it, this is a big moment for Riley,

who's showing real empathy.

He has worked out that a boys versus girls match simply wouldn't be fair.

And that wouldn't be any fun for the girls, or the boys.

WHISTLE BLOWS

There were some shouts for going boys versus girls, definitely.

And so it was surprising that it was Riley.

I was disappointed in Riley

when he said that preparing the picnic was for girls.

But then, when it came to the football...

..he's the one who tilted the children towards voting for

staying in mixed teams, which was really nice.

The end of the game, go and shake hands.

Good game.

I think girls don't play football as much cos they think boys are better.

I liked it because it was mixed.

I don't really get a chance to play football with the boys much.

This is so gooey!

Since I joined them at the start of term,

I think the children's attitudes about what it means to be

a boy or a girl have changed.

Although I still worry it could all just be skin-deep.

But it just makes me wonder whether all of the changes I've made

are still quite superficial in their minds.

That, therefore, begs the question, will this show in the end?

So when I come to retest them, are we going to see

any positive differences from the beginning to the end?

It's the last day of term.

We're retesting the children in Graham's class.

Looking for any changes in their ability to express emotion,

assertiveness, self-confidence and empathy.

To help us be sure that any differences

are down to my interventions,

we're also testing the neighbouring control class,

who followed normal lessons.

I'm excited to know if a whole term

of trying to treat the boys and girls as equals

has altered their thinking in any way.

Has my experiment worked?

Or has it all just been a bit of fun for the children?

THEY CHATTER

So, for the results...

At the start of term, there was an 8% difference in self-esteem levels

between girls and boys.

Encouragingly, it's now only .2%.

I think I can do anything now,

because I know that I can be anything I want to be.

Some stuff I'm not allowed to do, but when I'm older,

I definitely can do anything.

No girls now describe themselves as ugly.

Opting instead for words like "unique" and "happy."

Boys' pro-social behaviour -

that's their kindness to others -

is up by 10%.

And their ability to identify emotions has improved.

I think the boys have been

nicer to the girls, sometimes.

I think boys have learned to be more caring.

Girls' self-motivation

has shown an increase of 12%.

And the girls were an incredible 40%

more accurate when asked to predict

their scores before a test.

I would describe a girl now...

..more cleverer.

More stronger.

And more smarter.

One of the biggest changes we've seen is in the boys' bad behaviour

which has gone down a whopping 57%.

I think it's better to express yourself than getting angry.

I don't think I strop any more, because I just tell people.

I've learned it's better to talk than strop.

And finally, the Tangram puzzles that test spatial ability,

after just two weeks of practice,

we found that the top ten pupils are now five boys, and five girls.

These results are really encouraging

and show that the children have started to change in ways

that may have a profound effect in later life.

The difference between them is eight.

But, for me, what is most striking is that all these changes have taken

place in a matter of weeks.

I'd love to see similar changes attempted in schools everywhere.

You can see it in the class.

You can see the confidence in these children

that they didn't have before.

Now they are challenging things a lot more,

which I think is brilliant,

because, of course, as they go through life, things they are told,

and things they are told to do

aren't always going to be things they agree with.

Actually, I think the skills that they're picking up now, actually,

we can challenge that.

If they go through life, and they want to challenge those things,

they probably feel they can now, whereas they couldn't before.

Sh, Nancy!

Stop, Lexi, please.

Nancy, why aren't you doing something on your iPad?

I don't know, you've turned these kids into monsters.

The girls. They were never like it before.

THEY LAUGH

It's the end-of-term assembly...

..and Graham and the class have prepared a special performance

to show the other children, the parents,

and the headteacher - Caroline Sice -

just what they've learned.

I'm a little nervous to see what they've come up with.

This is our poem, Girls And Boys.

We have learned boys can bake in the kitchen.

Girls can go on a boat, fishing.

Boys can be sensitive.

And girls can be strong.

We have learned being equal is not wrong.

Toys shouldn't be just for girls and boys.

Change your opinion on gendered toys.

Cars can be liked by all, and liking blue and pink is cool.

Boys can dance, and girls can fix.

Boys can do make-up, and girls can do tricks.

Any gender can build a fire pit and toast marshmallows while it is lit.

Javid was the best at it.

Boys and girls can make a team, and help us to achieve our dream.

Boys and girls, in confidence have grown.

We work in mixed teams and not on our own.

We've changed our thoughts about girl and boy roles.

Men can wash dishes and women can drill holes.

Boys and girls can both be caring.

When we work, we are always sharing.

Believe in yourself, either girl or boy.

Even if you want to be a pirate, ahoy.

Ahoy!

ALL: We gender fix, it's true.

If you make a change in you.

APPLAUSE

That was good. That was what we meant.

That was good.

It's really good to hear that

the children have taken so much on board.

I'm Javid, everyone, if you haven't met me before...

But what does the headteacher think of my gender neutral experiment?

What do you think, Mrs Sice, about potentially continuing it,

or expanding it?

Well, I've been really impressed with the results.

And seeing the change in the children.

We thought we were doing lots on being a gender neutral school, but,

actually, it needs much more specific strategies,

in classrooms to make that change.

So we will be carrying it on.

And I've already asked Mr Andre to come and teach us how to have

a gender neutral classroom.

So that we really make sure that boys and girls are equal in their

confidence, in their aspirations, in their beliefs.

Thank you, Mrs Sice.

I would never have expected...

Sorry, I'm going to get emotional.

Sorry.

I've never seen Maisy

stand up and speak like that in front of a crowd.

Sorry.

How pathetic am I?

You'd better not be filming this!

Give me a second.

She is, like, you know,

"I want to be seen. I want to be heard."

And it's brilliant because it's what we've strived for for years.

I think what's changed about me is my confidence.

Because it's growing.

Before I wouldn't do something like that in front of

the whole school. My voice would crackle.

He's been more loving to his sister.

So I suppose he's been more empathetic to his sister.

And he's not so boisterous.

I've completely changed my opinion now.

Because now I know boys and girls can do anything they want.

Already, it's made us think about how we're going to bring Summer up

so that it's more gender neutral for her.

Boys and girls aren't different, they're equal.

The changes I've made at Lanesend aren't rocket science.

Just a few small interventions to make sure the children are getting

the simple message that they are all equal.

I think every school in the country could do exactly the same.

Look at where they were at the beginning and look at them now.

Imagine the possibilities for all our children's futures

if this is rolled out in every classroom, and every school.

That's why I am excited.

Because it's a small change, it's relatively easy to do,

but what we have to gain is enormous.