Jewish Strictly Soulmates

Finding love is hard at the best of times.

-If you could meet your ideal Jewish person, what would it be?

-Not to be insulting in any way,

but tall, full head of hair...

-Excellent.

-Joke.

-Excellent!

But when you're young, single and religious,

it's a whole other ball game.

No sex before marriage.

In the Koran, it actually specifically states

that men and women aren't even to be in the same room.

There's pressure to get married, especially when you're the last one,

and going to your last best friend's wedding.

Tonight, we're following three Jewish singletons

on their journey to find love.

He's a fitness fanatic. I like to eat.

It's not really in common, is it?

It's like you're supposed to be together, it's that great.

But when only perfection will do...

Natalie has standards.

I find a lot of people really don't have standards.

..will you ever find a Jewish husband?

Physically, they have to be tall.

They have to be intelligent.

-You're making quite a list here.

-That's why I'm single.

And in the search for love...

Hi, you look really nice.

..should you put your faith before your heart?

If Laura was Jewish, how would that change things?

I'd probably go over there and propose to her tonight.

And when dating doesn't come easy...

Can't you put something on Facebook? "I'm looking for a date."

Are you desperate?

..finding the one can change your life forever.

This is perfect, this is exactly why I believe I should do it even more,

and what a great day.

23-year-old Jason Goldstein is a football coach

and he wants to find a Jewish wife.

Sam, out quicker.

I'm fully Jewish, both my mum and dad are Jewish.

He's been living at home with his mum and dad in Essex

since he broke up with his girlfriend two years ago.

HE SPEAKS HEBREW

'Some of my friends are talking to me about engagement and stag dos.'

I'm obviously at home or with my single friends.

I now just want to settle down with that one person.

Treat her like gold, give her everything she wants.

But Jason's struggling to find a girl who shares his passion

for the Jewish religion.

I don't know what his ideal girl is. She'd have to be pretty,

that I do know. And Jewish.

I just think if he married someone who wasn't,

they just wouldn't understand that bit of his life.

Jason knows what he wants, but does he know how to get it?

I'm embarking on this to find a Jewish...

I wouldn't say girlfriend - a Jewish wife, really.

The problem is, he's better at having a laugh with the lads

than chatting up girls.

When he goes out, he'll see a bird he likes.

But he might come across wrong because he's enjoying himself with the boys

rather than going up to her as an individual.

What does one do? "Hello, my name is Jason. Are you Jewish?

"No? OK, I won't buy you a drink."

That sums him up.

She is beautiful.

She's looking for a date, a marriage,

a long-term relationship, marriage and children.

For the past two years,

Jason's been searching for a Jewish girl in Essex.

Now he's decided if he's serious, he'll have to look further afield.

Today he's signing up to JDate,

the UK's largest Jewish dating website.

My personality is best described as easy-going,

flexible, open-minded.

In my free time I enjoy collecting, dining out, gambling...

ALL LAUGH

And I'm a...

-Take out gambling.

-Yeah.

-What do you mean?

What do you mean, "What do you mean?" You can't...

People don't look for a gambler.

-You have to...

-I'm being honest. I like to gamble.

-I can't believe it's got to the stage where you think it's acceptable...

-I know!

-Amazing.

-OK, let me finish.

I like working out, weight-lifting, cricket, golf,

-horseback riding and soccer.

-Horseback riding!

You might as well put down ballet!

No, I've been horseback riding once.

-Hi, Mum.

-Hello.

What do you think this girl as of your future daughter-in-law?

-Pretty girl, yeah.

-She's bubbly.

-Is she frum?

-What do you mean, she's frum?

Chill out, Mum. How do you know?

-"Religion - orthodox." Frum.

-She doesn't look like a frummer.

No, she certainly doesn't look like a frummer. He's very central-minded.

"I'm right, that's it."

-Stubborn.

-Yeah, very stubborn.

Let's go with girl number one.

"Hi, I'm Jason...

"comma..."

There, I'm sending this.

Think it'll bring the girls in for you?

She'll be responding within seconds.

With so many new girls to connect with...

Bear with me, let me just send it to another 20-odd.

..Jason's sending the same message to all of them.

If I send ten out, five of them look at it,

out of them five, say, like, two now have boyfriends.

Out of them three, one might reply.

One in ten. So if I send 100, I might get ten responses.

Let's get a cup of tea and sit and wait.

Cup of tea, sit and wait!

I don't want to jump at the first opportunity.

Patience. Be patient.

22-year-old Glaswegian Natalie

works at the Union of Jewish Students in London.

On a day-to-day basis, Natalie... attempts to organise

successful campaigns for Jewish students around the UK

whilst spending much of her day stalking men on Facebook.

-You can't say that.

-It's 100% true.

-She's actually been blocked by a few of them.

-Don't!

She deserves a chance in life.

Stop making me look desperate!

I wouldn't say my standards are high, I think that's unfair.

I'd say my standards are strict.

Natalie is the pickiest girl you'll ever meet.

My checklist for a guy -

broad shoulders, quite well-built and he has to be ambitious.

He has to be either a solicitor, doctor, accountant

or someone who's very highly paid.

All I know is, they have to be tall, they have to be smart,

well-educated, someone firm, that has an opinion,

that wont let me run rings around them.

Someone that's not going to bore me.

She's still got a lot to learn about men.

I don't think she's ever really had a proper boyfriend.

She's got to kiss a few frogs before she finds her prince.

On top of all that, being a modern orthodox Jew

means Natalie is keen to find a man as Jewish as her.

She spends every Friday night with her grandparents

for the Sabbath meal

and keeps kosher.

All meat utensils are separate from...

this side of the kitchen, which is the milk side.

For me, my husband has to be Jewish, otherwise it won't work.

Even though she's 22, Natalie's never had a boyfriend.

Today, she's going to see a Jewish matchmaker.

They're normally used by strict orthodox Jews, but Natalie's seeing one for advice.

My Mum did this years ago.

She said it was really helpful in nailing down what she wanted.

You should definitely try it. You've got nothing to lose.

I've got to go.

Have a really lovely time tonight.

Be open-minded. OK?

-I'm always open-minded.

-See you later.

Linda has introduced thousands of Jewish singles over the past 20 years,

and is one of the Jewish communities most experienced matchmakers.

What I normally do

is try to get people married.

My job is to introduce them with a view to marriage.

I think I do it because it's in my blood.

My mother used to match people up with the right plumber,

or the right doctor, and I think I just fell in to it.

But even Linda could have her work cut out with Natalie.

So what sort of qualities would you say you're looking for in a husband?

Physically, they have to be tall. They absolutely have to be no smaller than five foot 10.

-How tall are you?

-Five foot eight.

-Don't have to be too tall.

Yes, I have a real thing about height.

-Why does he have to be... ?

-I'm being generous with that.

-I actually mean six foot.

-Really? Oh, my goodness!

I have a real height problem.

You'll probably marry someone who's five foot six.

No, I genuinely won't. I have a real thing about it.

You really want a tall guy.

-What about personality?

-They have to be intelligent.

Yes, they do, don't they?

They have to be ambitious and have a good job.

Preferably a strong academic background.

-You're making a bit of a list here.

-That's why I'm single.

We might try and cut this down a bit.

I think that the height thing, I think it should be negotiable.

It's just not. It's just so not.

If he's intelligent and aware of current affairs...

I don't like it, it's a real thing.

This is going to be difficult.

I'd rather date a 35-year-old that's six foot four

-than a 25-year-old that's five foot four.

-OK.

Is there anything else you can think of?

I'm trying to think of what I've missed. I can't think of anything.

-Thank you for coming.

-Thank you for seeing me.

-I hope it wasn't too bad to be interrogated.

-It was enjoyable.

'I think it's not going to be easy.'

I think she's got very, very set ideas in what she wants.

-Thank you very much. Bye.

-Bye.

Richard is 27 and works in the city. He's had a string of girlfriends,

but only a couple of them have been Jewish.

I'd describe myself as culturally or traditional Jewish,

as supposed to religiously Jewish.

Now Richard's ready to find a serious partner,

and that means she's got to be Jewish.

I'm adventurous and spontaneous, I like to try new things.

I've just not met a Jewish girl like that,

and who fulfils the criteria I'm looking for yet.

'I don't think my family would be too pleased

'if I married someone that wasn't Jewish,

'because it's rejecting everything they've taught me.'

But you can't choose who you fall in love with.

'If I met a girl who wasn't Jewish that made me really happy,

'I'd have to think about things.'

If Richard wanted to marry someone who wasn't Jewish,

I would be very upset.

He's always said he wants his children to be Jewish,

so that means he has to marry a Jewish girl.

Do you think I will marry a Jewish girl?

-Yes.

-Seriously?

-Yes.

-Really?

Yeah. Yes, absolutely.

Maybe there is a girl out there that's absolutely perfect for me,

but I've not found her yet.

If you go to places where there are more Jewish people,

you'll meet more Jewish girls.

Richard's come back to Manchester to spend the weekend with his parents.

There are right no right or wrong places.

When we were your age, there were loads and loads of Jewish dos.

When you were my age, you were married.

True. But there were still loads of Jewish dos and that's where you met people.

I'm out of the loop.

You have to make the effort to go to these things.

You can't just spend life having fun.

There's no right or wrong time.

If and when you meet the right girl, that'll be the time.

You always seem to have something else on your mind.

First it was your exams, then it was the triathlon.

I'm not sure what it is now.

I do want a girlfriend.

Can't be single for mid to late-20s.

Oh, gosh, it's all so tricky.

Jewish dating is just like regular dating, but 50 million times harder.

You're not exactly going to go, "Hi, Jew, date me."

It literally is like finding that black sheep in the field.

You know that black sheep exist.

But the majority out there are white sheep.

When a person is looking for a marriage partner,

they're not looking for the most perfect person out there.

They're looking for the person who's most perfect for them.

It's been impossible for matchmaker Linda

to find someone who ticks all of Natalie's boxes.

But Natalie has made a connection with a guy she met

at a recent Jewish singles evening.

I'm going to give him a call back and organise a date.

Hi, can I speak to Adam, please?

Hi, Adam.

Good, how are you?

I'm free next week. Not Wednesday, but other than that, I'm free.

What about you?

We could do a quick coffee.

OK, looking forward to it. Bye.

Meeting on Thursday lunchtime for a lunch date.

That's kind of like the friend zone, isn't it? But whatever.

I've just had thought that the weather might be really bad

and this could be a disastrous decision. But we'll see.

Do people go on what you're wearing before they even talk to you?

What do people go for?

Jason hasn't had any luck with the Jewish dating web site yet.

Hi, Mum. I'm going speed dating.

So in the meantime, he's throwing himself in at the deep end

of the Jewish dating scene.

Do I go dark or light?

He's my daughter in disguise.

You could wear that on the grey suit trousers?

I'm putting a shirt on. OK, I'm putting a shirt on.

-Bye.

-Bye.

He's a nice boy.

I'm apprehensive. It's my first time.

I'm here to hopefully find someone.

The best thing I could expect

is probably if all the girls are my sort of age.

That's what I hope to see the most, someone around my age.

So, yeah, I'm looking forward to that.

Hopefully, I'll make good conversation

and they'll tick the box.

It's very hard when dating,

to meet someone Jewish.

You can't just go up to somebody in a bar and say,

"Hi, my name's so-and-so, are you Jewish?"

It doesn't work like that.

With a room of single Jewish girls to impress,

all Jason has to do is successfully charm one or two.

What are your goals and ambitions?

How do you see your life in a couple of years?

I hope to be successful in my career and have family and kids.

I work in football and sport,

coaching and refereeing being the main thing.

What teams do you work for?

-London Lions.

-No, you don't.

-Yes.

I've been working for London Lions for the last three years.

I'll be seeing you more often, then.

Unfortunately, we have to depart now.

Enjoying your evening?

-Yes, it's been interesting. What about you?

-Some people are quite interesting to speak to.

Some others haven't really got any sort of conversational skills.

-Always tricky.

-Apart from that, it's good.

What are your ambitions and your life goals?

God. Um...

Don't know, really.

I guess just to be happy, to be chilled out.

-I'm a teacher.

-OK.

That has always been an ambition of mine, to be a teacher.

-What about you?

-My life goals are to succeed in my career.

What career is that, sorry?

I work in teaching again, like yourself,

-within PE and outside the schools, I do football.

-Oh, right.

-If you can meet your ideal Jewish person, what would it be?

-Let's see.

Not to be insulting in any way,

but I guess my ideal would be tall, full head of hair...

-Excellent.

-Joke.

-Excellent!

Personality-wise...

So looks come before personality?

No, no, no, no!

I'll date someone even if they're not that good-looking.

I hate guys that play games of any kind. That makes me angry.

That's it, really. Nice meeting you, Jason.

And you. Have fun.

They do like me and they did find conversation good

and they might have a chemistry between us.

Hopefully, fingers crossed now, someone ticks me and I get a match.

Ohh!

Today, Natalie's on her first date with the guy

from her singles night - Adam. And he's quite tall.

She obviously initially likes me

and I like her as well, so let's keep it natural, really.

But Natalie has already got a few concerns.

I think, from looking at his Facebook,

he might be a few months younger than me.

I know a few months sounds silly,

but considering I want someone around five years older,

someone three months younger is a bit of a difference.

I've added her on Facebook, as you do,

to find out about her.

I went straight to the photo section, as you do.

So I do know a bit more about her.

-Hi.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-Yeah, good, thanks. You? You look nice.

-Thank you.

-Cupcakes?

-Thank you.

-And a raspberry one.

-You have nine minutes.

-I know.

-When did you graduate? Last summer?

-I graduated, yeah, last June.

-So...?

-So mucked around a bit. Did some work experience here, there and everywhere.

-Anything I could get. You need to get that under your belt.

-Yeah, I just actually did two days

this week in a law firm.

That will obviously help in getting something along the line.

-Every bit of work experience helps, I guess.

-Course it does.

And then, you can start trading, or sorry, practising.

It's two years of LPC, then two years of training,

then you can fly.

Is that the actual official title - fly?

-No, I just made that up!

-High fly.

-Where are you going in Israel?

-Tel Aviv.

-We only had one night there

because we just got drunk.

-Do you remember what bar?

-I don't think it had a name.

It didn't have a name?

-It was literally a dump.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah.

We all just got drunk on the strip and we were doing the Hava Nagila

-and all the Israelis were like...

-"Why? Losers."

Just like, "English yobs." Erm, well, Jewish yobs.

I've really got to go.

-That's fine.

-I've really got to go.

-I don't want you to get in trouble.

It was really nice to see you and hopefully we can do the same again?

Yeah, definitely. It was really nice... Cool.

OK, well, good luck with your meeting.

-Yeah, thank you.

-And I'll see you soon. Bye.

-Bye.

-You should probably remember your jacket.

-I will do.

Yeah, I think it went really well.

Yeah, Natalie's a really nice girl, very interesting, got a lot to say.

I'm just not convinced there's many similar interests.

I'm very, very into politics. I don't think he is.

We've got a lot in common being at Manchester Uni with each other back in the day.

I just think there's quite a bit of difference in character,

which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it meant there wasn't a spark.

I can see who's going to be married and who's not.

The people who are going to be really difficult

are very specific about what they want.

We're never looking for tall, we're never looking for tall.

Jewish men are not tall and they tend to be bald!

They limit themselves to height, whether they're fat or thin,

you know, they've got to be good-looking,

they've got to be well-educated, or not educated, as the case may be.

Everybody has a wish list, which, really,

they're looking for the perfect person.

But, really, the perfect person doesn't exist.

In the end, you've only got possibly a few people

that you can actually marry.

Richard wants a Jewish girlfriend,

but he hasn't been looking in the right places.

I need to make an effort now to go on dates with some Jewish girls.

So this is a good chance, a good opportunity to meet a girl -

a Jewish girl - that I don't know and see what she's like.

I'm sure I'll have a really nice night.

Tonight, he's going to his first ever Jewish single's evening.

When you go to speed dating and you're single, you've got to have...

You've got to be a bit desperate.

It's not a very natural place to meet people, is it?

You're there because you specifically want to meet someone.

But you've got to start somewhere.

It's a way of meeting new Jewish people

and, you know, they may have friends who have friends.

It's a good place to start, I think.

But there's just one problem - only three girls have turned up.

-Hiya. How you doing?

-Hi.

Is this your first time speed dating?

Yeah, it is. My first time.

One, two, three.

-Let's see the other guys.

-The other guys?

You want to see your competition? OK. OK, that's enough.

I'm feeling confident. It's all right.

-Hello.

-How you doing?

-Good. How are you?

-I'm Richard. Nice to meet you.

-How do you find the Jewish dating scene?

-I don't really like the Jewish scene.

Yeah, I wasn't into Jewish boys for a while.

My parents always told me, "You will meet a Jewish girl that is different..."

That's what my mum says too!

It's so funny.

BELL RINGS

-I'm Richard.

-Hello, I'm Natalie.

-Nice to meet you, Natalie.

-Have you done this kind of thing before?

-No, never.

What it is for me is like, I'm from Manchester...

-Yeah, Manchester's great.

-Yeah, do you know it?

-Yeah.

Do you know any people over there?

-Matt Mickler?

-Yeah, I know Matt.

-Wait, you used to go out with Matt Mickler, didn't you? Yes!

-That's where I knew you from.

-I recognise you!

-Yeah, I was like, "I kind of know him."

-You went out with Matt.

-Ages ago, yeah.

-I met you at one of his best friend's weddings.

-Yeah.

Yeah, I knew I recognised you.

When I moved, I mixed with people that were Jewish and weren't Jewish.

-I think I've kind of lost...

-Drifted out a bit.

Because I've been enjoying myself.

Yeah. So now I feel like I should at least make an effort to try and meet people.

Yeah, make the effort. BELL RINGS

-Richard, do you want to move to the next table?

-I'll move on.

-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you, too. Good luck with it all.

-You too.

-Cheers.

I'm going to move up just because I feel... Maybe I shouldn't.

I don't like barriers.

Do you know what I mean? It feels really formal.

-OK, I feel better now.

-OK, whatever.

I didn't speak to you for nearly long enough.

With such a poor turnout,

it's been a long and frustrating evening for Richard.

That's how close this Jewish community is, it's crazy.

There were only three girls there and I knew one of them.

It's a very tightly-knit community and it's difficult to meet people.

Jason didn't get any matches from his speed dating,

but will he have had more luck online?

I started asking a few more girls on JDate.

More to the point, just asking if they wanted to go meet up

for a date and I'm now going to check

to see if I've had any responses.

No. I've had two more news feeds,

which I think are people that looked at my account. Yeah.

But no response to any e-mails, which is a bit of a shame.

There are some really good, lovely girls on here.

Especially ones that have viewed me, I've read all their profiles.

Some really interesting and positive girls, but no, er...

..no replies, so...

They might not be looking for someone like me.

They might not, obviously, like my profile, my pictures.

Who knows? Or maybe they just clicked on me

whilst they're browsing

and not actually even looked at my profile. Who knows?

Richard's still searching for his Jewish girl

and he's also turned to online dating.

There's one girl he likes the look of.

She works in marketing and tonight,

he's going out on his first ever Jewish blind date.

She's really fit. Absolutely gorgeous.

Now I'll probably be more nervous than I thought.

I was thinking all bigheaded, you know, not bothered,

but she's actually really fit. So I probably shouldn't have looked.

Oh, God.

I've pulled good-looking girls before,

but Jewish girls intimidate me for some reason.

Don't know why. No idea. Let's hope this will be different.

Also, I'm a bit of a klutz and some people find it endearing

and other people just think I'm a bit of a muppet, so...

..that is the risk tonight.

-Hi, how are you?

-How you doing?

-I'm all right. You OK?

-Nice to meet you.

-Richard.

-Katie.

-Nice to meet you, Katie. How's it going?

-Yeah, all right.

I'm not even that hungry. Do you keep kosher?

Erm, I don't eat pig.

Don't worry, I'm not going to order a pig.

-No, you can have it. It's fine.

-No, I'm not going to.

-Do you keep kosher?

-I keep kosher in my house.

-Do you?

But when I'm out, I eat pork, anything.

-Completely agree with you.

-I know to religious people, that makes me a bad Jewish person,

-but I'm not doing anything wrong by eating pig.

-Exactly.

-Like, I don't kill people...

That's good to know. I was getting worried.

-So do you use JDate much?

-This is my third date out of it.

I went out with a guy, but I don't think he was really Jewish.

How do you know he wasn't Jewish?

I just could... No, I could just tell he wasn't Jewish.

-I won't ask any more questions.

-No, no, no!

Honestly... Oh, my God! No!

I like the sun. I like to be brown, as you can see.

If I was prime minister,

-everyone would have to have a spray tan once a week.

-Really?

-Yeah.

I'd probably just try and sort out the troubles on the street first.

What are your views on being with a Jewish girl?

I've had, like, two long-term Jewish girlfriends

and one non-Jewish girlfriend and I probably had more fun

with the non-Jewish girlfriend, if I'm honest.

-How do your parents feel about you being with a non-Jewish girl?

-Not good.

If you find someone that's not Jewish and you really like them,

-do you, like, nip it in the bud when it's early on or do you carry on going for it?

-Carry on.

-Nice to meet you.

-And you.

'I like that he's quite intelligent.'

I don't normally go out with intelligent guys. I go out with idiots.

I was nervous tonight, definitely. I'd never done a blind date before.

We've got very different ideas. You don't have to have a degree in politics

to know that having a spray tan every week

probably isn't the priority of a British leader.

-You going to get his number?

-Oh, shut up.

-You SO need it.

Really don't think we'll be having another date.

She's not for me, I'm afraid.

-How are you?

-I'm fine. How are you?

-I've got flowers.

-Hello!

It's Friday night in Essex

and Jason's having a traditional Jewish Friday night dinner with his extended family.

Before long, the conversation turns to Jason's search

for a Jewish partner.

Can't you put something on Facebook? "I'm looking for a date."

ALL LAUGH

Mum, that's the worse idea you've ever had!

Everybody seems to put everything else on Facebook!

Meeting new people in London is difficult.

Especially because you say Jewish people

and then you have to go to Jewish events.

Having drawn a blank in Essex and London,

Jason's taking his search to the US in a week's time.

Where I'm going to - LA, Malibu - is called Camp JCA Shalom,

where I'm the main person that does the sport for the camp.

And when I get there, there'll be about 50 girls I've never met in my life

that will be Jewish so I don't have to ask, "Are you Jewish?"

I can just go, "You're amazing," and start talking.

Yes, I cant wait.

There's potential to make a move on them.

THEY LAUGH

Wow, look out, girls. Jason's on his way!

And what happens is, it's like a... It's like a prison.

-You can't leave...

-"It's like a prison, but I love it!"

ALL LAUGH

You get stuck in. You can't leave. So if someone likes you

or dislikes you, you have to get on with it.

And, actually, that is the best way

of meeting somebody because it's not a forced situation.

Natalie is still no closer to lowering her standards

and her search has become a talking point.

It's handy because everyone wants the best for you and they'll think,

"Oh, Natalie, there's a guy I know. I must introduce you".

But then you'll ask someone else and they'll say, "I know him. He's not right for you".

To be fair, the last time I got set up,

I did do a Facebook stalk before and realised that it was a no-no

and when I met them, I was completely right.

-My impressions from Facebook were exactly what he was like.

-Isn't that dangerous?

He was very nice. But it was true.

-What I thought was absolutely true.

-What did you think?

Personality-wise - completely not for me.

-I don't know, a lot of people will just go out with anyone, but...

-Natalie has standards.

Yeah, and I find that a lot of people really don't have standards.

She wants certain things,

she deserves certain things, so why should she stoop lower?

Good things come to those who wait.

-Hey, Laura.

-Hi.

-You all right?

-Yeah.

-You look really nice.

-Thanks.

Over the past few weeks,

Richard's been struggling to meet Jewish girls he likes.

Cool. Nice.

But recently, he's met someone - a girl called Laura.

There's just one problem - she's not Jewish.

I've been kind of seeing Laura for a little bit.

It's not that serious, really,

but I do quite like her. She's not Jewish.

We've not really had a chat about Judaism or a relationship or anything.

Just enjoy each other's company and having a laugh.

On the bus with Alex,

he said something like, "So you like Richard?"

I went, "Yeah, he's a nice guy".

I said, "Do you think it'd be funny if Richard and I went on a date?

"Go on, give me his number".

And then he went, "I'll let you know something", and I went, "What?"

-He said, "He asked for yours."

-I said the same!

I said, "What would you think if me and Laura went on a date?"

I was in hysterics, just laughing, thinking, "Oh, my God".

How weird is that? Right, it's quite a posh menu, isn't it?

-Do you know where the word posh derived from?

-It was from the Beckhams, wasn't it?

When all the first-class people used to travel on ships,

they used to write P.O.S.H.

on their suitcases because it means port outward, starboard home.

It's the way they sit on the decks. It's the way that they travel.

Everyone now calls those types of people posh.

-How the hell do you know that? That's cool.

-I told you it was a good story.

I feel like I'm learning a lot.

Laura's so lovely and she looks great tonight.

It's easy to get carried away and think, "We're having fun.

"It won't get serious," but I need to make a decision

whether I carry on seeing her and enjoying her company

or whether the whole Jewish thing is going to be a stumbling block for me.

Very often, when a person is young, a person in their 20s or 30s,

their Jewishness might not be so crucial in their life.

I've been in that position where I've been very much in love

with someone who wasn't Jewish and it's a difficult temptation

and it's difficult to put your head over your heart.

The Torah tells us that we're not supposed

to marry someone from a different faith.

If you have parents who really want you to meet someone Jewish,

then that can be really difficult for them

and you need to identify whether the person you're with

will be there for a short time or your partner for life

because that throws up a whole load of other issues.

Jason is packing for his trip to Jewish Camp America.

Now it's time to get out of this country and look for foreign Jews.

Taking condoms with you to protect yourself?

-I haven't taken any condoms.

-Has Mummy forgot to pack them for you?

-THEY LAUGH

-I'll get them at the airport.

-Obviously, I'll get them at the airport. That's what I was going to do.

-They don't do your size!

Yeah, my size isn't...

-It was run out of stock in local areas.

-Extra small, yeah?

English-Hebrew conversation guide just in case I meet an Israeli girl.

And one has to obviously try and make conversation.

Obviously, she might say a word I don't know,

so I can go back to my room and just have a little look.

Let me check the word single. And how to say, "Are you...?"

"Malon yakar" - "expensive hotel".

THEY LAUGH

I don't know how to say, "Are you single?"

There'll be 400 young people at Camp America,

and most importantly, lots of them will be single Jewish girls.

When you're with someone for three months, it's not like speed dating where you've got three minutes.

It's not like going on JDate and you've only got a month and you might e-mail someone.

You've got three months, so, you actually get to know about them,

their family, what they want to get from life

and what they are as people.

I have tried quite a lot of things, yet still I go to America single.

Maybe my standards are too high, but I'll keep an open mind when I go to America.

There will be Jewish girls from all around the world,

so looking forward to meeting everyone.

Oggy, oggy, oggy!

CROWD: Oi, oi, oi!

-Oggy!

-Oi!

It's 7am and today Richard is competing in a triathlon.

His family and friends have come along to cheer him on.

I'm feeling a little bit nervous. In fact, I'm absolutely ... it.

Oh, God.

KLAXON BLASTS

And it's not just the competition that's making him sweat.

Go, go, go!

He's invited Laura along,

the non-Jewish girl he's recently started seeing.

When I was watching him, I felt really excited.

I think my cheering helped.

Richard's having to manage the situation between non-Jewish Laura

and his parents very carefully. And it's proving a touch tricky.

THEY CHEER

Laura came today and I think she looked really, really nice.

I think she actually made quite an effort as well,

cos she knew my parents were there.

They don't know we're seeing each other,

so all my friends and my brothers were told to keep it hush-hush.

I think they just thought that she was another friend, like my other friends.

Yeah, I don't think they'd be too happy.

# It's got to be perfect... #

Having made no progress so far,

Natalie's agreed to her first ever blind date.

It could come to nothing, but it must be worth a punt.

How do I feel about having a blind date?

Nervous, a bit of trepidation.

I don't know if we've got anything in common. He's a fitness fanatic.

I like to eat. It's not really in common, is it?

-Hi.

-How's it going?

-Nice to meet you.

-And you.

-Natalie, right?

-Yes.

-Tamir?

-Yes. There you go.

-Thanks.

How are you doing?

Good, thanks.

First blind date?

Yeah, never done it before.

-OK, fair enough.

-You?

-Yes.

I guess the question is, kosher, not kosher?

-I don't care if you're not, but I am.

-You are, OK, fine.

-I don't mind. My family are not kosher.

-Really?

My sister throws prawns at me, so...

Sounds a great, great girl(!)

Yeah, she's lovely(!)

He's really tall, so I was just like, "Hello!"

And thinking, "Hello!"

-Have you been here before?

-Yeah.

-Plenty of times?

-Yeah.

-There's not many places to go in Hendon, is there?

-Hendon's nice.

-It's not.

Well... I'm trying to be nice!

Really, really good-looking guy, who is really nice,

and really tall, and normal!

So you're half-Israeli?

-Yeah. My mum's Israeli. That's why...

-Less religious.

Exactly.

Do you go there a lot?

Yeah, I just got back from there - two and a half weeks.

-I'm not usually this dark.

-I'm going in two weeks' time.

-Jealous.

Tel Aviv. Cannot wait!

First time I saw her, very pretty girl.

Lovely girl.

Um... Very good date, very, very good at talking.

What do you do in your spare time when you're not studying?

When I'm not studying? I have a really good group of friends, so...

we go to the gym together, we go on weekends to Paris together...

I'd say shopping, but I absolutely hate shopping.

That's the first time I've heard of a girl, albeit a Jewish girl,

-That hates shopping?

-Yeah.

-I can't browse, unless I know I need something.

You want to shop, let me know. I'm more than happy...

I ask about the gym because I'm a personal trainer,

so...

Did you just find a bone?

-Yup!

-Between your bone and my chilli,

it's turning out to be a really good meal!

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Yeah, I'm a personal trainer part-time,

so it's interesting you saying you like to go to the gym.

It's good.

I actually knew beforehand that he was a personal trainer,

but I don't think he knew I knew that.

I do go to the gym, I go three or four times a week,

but I 'm not going to lie and say I take it hugely seriously.

I'm far happier eating.

-Good chat.

-No worries.

I really enjoyed this. It's nice meeting someone new.

Um... I'll find you on Facebook.

Sure, OK.

Thank you again, it was really nice.

Thank you.

It's good to know there are tall, good-looking, nice guys out there.

I had a really good time. She's a really sweet girl.

Immediately put me at ease. He's a really good date.

Sometimes people go very wrong at the beginning of dating,

and they don't know how to date, and treat it like a job interview!

Stage number one, you meet, you talk,

you realise that here's a person that you can talk to.

See the person in a variety of scenarios,

and no spaghetti on dates!

If you go out anywhere in north-west London on a date,

and someone sees you,

your grandparents will know the next day, and they'll be calling you,

asking you when the wedding is.

Over in Malibu, Los Angeles, Jason is settling in to his summer,

running the sports department at Jewish Camp America.

Here in Malibu, I'm the sports director.

Jason runs sports for over 400 kids every day.

Yay!

At home you just go through motions.

You do your football and go. Here, there's a lot more to it -

the atmosphere is much better.

It's more exciting - there's always things to do. Everyone says hello.

-Hi, Jason.

-Hello!

-We love sports!

Over the past few weeks, he's begun to take his religion more seriously.

Today, he's organising a traditional Sabbath service.

If we get more than 25,

we might stand up and do a little standing ovation.

Sit down, we'll give you siddurim.

Women, can you sit at the back, please?

YIDDISH READING

And most importantly for Jason,

he's made an impression on the eligible Jewish girls at camp.

He's great. He never turns off his smile.

It's great to know that he's there.

He's a lot of fun. I love him.

I love you, Jason.

I live in Israel.

Where in Israel do you live?

Tel Aviv. Woo-hoo!

I'm Zoe Wilson. I live in California.

I think that British people are great.

I know he's met a couple of girls that he's interested in.

He's not a bad-looking chap.

Thank you very much.

'There are some girls here that I'd love to take out -

'plenty of girls I'd like to see again.'

One girl Jason likes is Emma.

Do you want to be with someone Jewish?

-Yeah, I want to be with someone Jewish.

-Why?

Because they have the same background as me,

and it'll be easier when we get married...

to live together.

Handily enough, Emma lives a few miles away from Jason in North London.

I've connected well with Emma.

You come away to Malibu and meet someone 30 minutes away from you

who believes in the same things -

same ideas in life,

have the same things in common,

and...

it's like you're supposed to be together. It's that great.

I've found a lot of people that I really connect with,

and a lot of people that I'd love to take out

and get to know more outside the camp.

So I've just now got to try and see if I can do something about that.

Good to see you. Are you all right?

Yeah. How are you? Are you all right?

Richard's now been on a few dates with non-Jewish Laura

and things could be starting to get serious.

Today he's meeting up with his best friend Pete for a heart-to-heart.

What's going on?

On the girl scene, there is one in particular

who you've met a couple of times. She's really nice.

Yeah, she is nice.

She's pretty, good-looking, really outgoing.

She's almost perfect - but she's not Jewish.

I've been there before, I've had non-Jewish girlfriends and they've been amazing,

but we're getting older - the next one could be the one I'll marry.

Otherwise, why are you wasting time?

Who do you think's putting that pressure on you?

Are you deciding that yourself? That your big one needs to be Jewish?

Or is that something your parents..?

It's almost a self-inflicted pressure.

All my friends say that I fall in love easily and they take the micky,

and I get really upset.

I've seen this girl about six, seven times.

Normally, I would be head over heels over her and she is an amazing girl,

but I'm being very... sensible about it.

We're not even together officially.

I've just seen her. We've had a good time together.

That's not a conscious decision, it's just... It's just the way it is.

So if Laura was Jewish, how would that change things?

I'd probably go over there and propose to her tonight.

It's been a few days since personal trainer Tamir met Natalie

for her perfect date - the first and only man to tick a lot of her boxes.

It was enjoyable, it was a really good date, really easy-going,

really good conversation, it wasn't awkward at all,

and she held her own, she had a good personality, obviously.

It was nice. She's a lovely girl.

She's very similar to me in terms of my religious level.

She's a little bit more religious than I am, and I prefer that.

But will he ask her out again?

You can tell with certain people.

Sometimes they're more suited to be friends than anything more and I think that was the case.

Because she's a nice girl, and I got on well with her, it would be a shame not to stay in touch

so I'm definitely going to be adding her on Facebook.

And done.

So hopefully she will add me on Facebook

and we can see where it goes from there.

In Hendon, with only a Facebook friend request to show,

Natalie's putting on a brave face.

Physically, he ticks every single box.

He said he'd add me on Facebook, and he did add me on Facebook.

But I'm OK.

It's just one of those things.

So what now, then?

Now I'm going to Israel for two weeks, that's what the future holds.

The future holds... five, six million Israelis.

Richard is still pursuing his ideal Jewish girl, but after four months,

he can't find anyone he likes.

These are all the girls that viewed me.

I'm struggling to find one that I want to talk to.

But he does have feelings for Laura and that makes things complicated.

I'm still doing the right things I'm still going on JDate,

I'm still going to Jewish parties and I can't see any Jewish girls

out there that I like or I want to be with.

There's Laura on the other side, who's absolutely stunning,

I have such a laugh with her. But she's not Jewish.

So you're saying, I've got to be single now...

I can't be happy.

It annoys me.

Like, yeah, all the pressure that's put on.

I always said that I want to marry a Jewish girl.

But I know that I really like Laura and I enjoy spending time with her.

It's just such a tough one.

Jason's back from America, and today he's meeting up with Emma,

one of the girls he liked from camp, and her friend Pippa.

I can't wait to see them.

They're different girls, the girls around where I live in Essex,

their values, traditions, what they want in life.

What they're getting with their Jewish side of things is a lot, lot more.

North London!

I got chicken in me mouth.

Jason doesn't know what Emma thinks, but he knows how he feels.

Emma is beautiful. She has everything going for her.

She'd be the perfect wife for anybody.

Me and Jason, we, like really bonded in America,

we had really nice chats and we have the same views.

He's very, like... He makes lots of jokes

and everything he says kind of has, like, an innuendo-type meaning.

-Hello!

-Hello! How are you?

-I'm good. How are you?

-I'm good. It's been a while.

-I know. How you been?

-I'm good. I missed you.

-And you.

-I missed you, Jase!

-I missed you too.

-Oh, how have you been?

-Good. Yourself?

-Good.

-Fantastic.

-Shall we get a drink?

-Yeah, let's do that.

Are you going back to camp next year?

I think I might go back. I've applied to take Israel Tour.

But if I don't get it, then I'd seriously consider going back.

-Are you going to go back?

-Possibly if the same English people go back.

Do you ever come up to our universities?

Yeah. That's cos I'd want to see you.

Come to Shabbat with me. They do amazing Friday night dinners.

It's like £3 or something for four courses.

Challah, like, get your chicken soup.

Where, at JSOC?

Yeah, in Manchester.

-Maybe take a trip up north.

-Yeah! Why not?

Come up north and go on a university stop tour.

Then I'd come with you to Birmingham and we could go out clubbing.

What sort of people am I there to try and look at?

Am I just coming to, like, see you?

Am I going for, like, to meet someone?

-If you want to go to meet someone...

-If you meet someone, it's a bonus.

We could introduce you to our friends.

-I'm coming.

-Sorted, then.

-You know I'll come.

-I don't.

There's loads of nice Jewish girls in Birmingham, Manchester.

I hope he comes visit. We'll have fun if we all go out together.

My friends would love it. I'll make him come up. It'll be fun.

With Emma seeming keener to match Jason with her friends,

he puts on a brave face.

It was great to catch up.

There's probably nothing between me and them both,

but, who knows? If I take a trip to their university

and meet some of their friends...

If you look at them and you see how great they are

and how fantastic they are,

I'm guessing their friends are exactly the same,

so I'll go to their universities, go out,

enjoy myself and hopefully meet some of their friends in the process.

At midnight tonight, Laura will turn 26.

We're going to have a nice meal, have a drink.

It's kind of quite a big gesture,

considering we're not officially together.

We're not officially an item.

Despite all his concerns about finding a Jewish girl,

Richard seems to have fallen for Laura.

I've let myself grow quite fond of her.

It wasn't meant to happen but she's a great girl.

At same time, I've got this conflicting opinion in my head about what to do,

cos she is absolutely amazing.

It is getting a little bit more serious.

Hi, Laura.

'I'm not here this weekend, I'm going to see my family,'

so I'll have some time to think, a bit of time apart, which will do me good.

So we're going to have a nice meal, aren't we?

Hopefully, a cocktail at some point.

Yeah, and tomorrow, when it's my actual birthday,

are you going to come to the party or not?

I can't cos I'm driving home.

You could go on Saturday morning.

You'll be with your friends on Friday so...

But I don't mind if you're there. Why don't you want to be there?

I do want to be there. I would love to be there.

'He's taking me out for dinner tonight, which is really nice,'

but I don't know if he'll be here on my actual birthday tomorrow or not.

-Happy birthday, Laura.

-Cheers. Thank you.

-26!

-Thanks! Thanks!

-It's a good age.

I do like him, he's really funny.

We get on really well. We have a good time.

-It sounds like quite a cool age.

-It's the best age, I think.

'I have got her a few presents, actually.'

The main thing is the card. I've written to her,

saying I do have strong feelings for her and whatever happens with us, just stay happy.

After four months of searching, Natalie is still no closer to finding her perfect man,

but she has at least learnt something from the experience.

I've seen a massive change in you.

Before you would never have plucked up the courage to ask someone out on a date,

or even, like, accepted a date with someone else.

Before I'd want to know everything about them, beforehand,

and if they didn't fit this picture I had in my mind,

then I wasn't interested.

It's actually something my mum said to me years ago.

She said there's no point getting into a long-term relationship if you're not going to marry them.

I then began to think, "Well, why would I go out with them?"

But there's a massive difference between dating someone

and having a serious relationship.

And I've begun to recognise the stages so now I'm much more chilled.

So, yeah.

Jason's spent the last six months messaging, speed dating,

and being told, "I just want to be friends."

But for the first time in two years,

he's finally got himself a Jewish date.

I'm feeling positive. The reason why is that she said yes to the date,

so that's a good first step

and hopefully I'm not too boring for her,

and she gets to like me.

And now that I've got time to speak to her alone

in an environment where we can get to know each other,

I'm looking forward to it, to see what the future holds here with her.

Hello. How are you?

-Good.

-Nice to see you.

-You look great.

-Thank you.

Cheers.

-L'chaim.

-L'chaim.

What about religious...Judaism?

Would you do anything?

I don't know where I'd put myself. I have my own beliefs

and way of practising them.

-What about you religiously?

-I classify myself as orthodox.

But my home isn't religious.

This is my new regime.

Every Friday afternoon I'm going to bake a challah

and, like, that would be my contribution to Shabbat.

Anyway, it didn't really go to plan as I expected, but...

You made it?

Yeah. And it looked like a loaf of bread.

And then I got home the next day and they threw it out to the birds.

Oh, no!

And they were laughing that the birds aren't even eating it cos the challah's so bad!

-Oh, no.

-So that's the sort of stuff I've got to deal with. But...

I have to ask you a question.

Please.

How did this happen?

Oh! OK. That's a nice one.

I tripped and I went through a single glass panelled door,

and then the jagged edges cut me

and slit me open from here to halfway down my chest.

Woah.

I then collapsed on the floor. I was shaking, I was fitting.

On the way to the hospital, I started to lose a lot of blood.

I got there and the doctor said to my dad, "Do you want a rabbi present?"

because they thought I wouldn't come back.

It gave me a completely different outlook onto life,

but it has prevented me getting jobs.

I also believe it prevents me getting girls.

I like it.

Oh, that's lovely. Thank you.

And...that's great.

Anyway, maybe I could cook you one of my famous challahs.

Yeah, I'd like the challah. I'd like the challah. Sure.

It was really nice.

I'm going to leave with a smile on my face and think,

it's possibly, like, one of the best times I've had.

In the past, I haven't really taken time out

and go and speak to girls and take them on dates

or give them the time to get to know them better.

And it's something that I've started to do.

It's something that, I think, at the age I am, I need to do more.

And this is perfect.

This is exactly why I believe I should do it even more.

And...

What a great date.

# If you want to be happy for the rest of your life

# Never make a pretty woman your wife

# So from my personal point of view

# Get an ugly girl to marry you

# A pretty woman makes her husband look small

# And very often causes his downfall

# As soon as he marries her then she starts

# To do the things that will break his heart

# But if you make an ugly woman your wife...#

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