Am I Sexist? Tyger Takes On...

This programme contains some strong language.

In 2015, many believe that when it comes to sexism we're going backwards, not forwards.

So I'm on a mission to find out whether we -

in particular, my generation -

are becoming more sexist than ever before.

To me, sexism would mean to be discriminated against because I'm a female

and I've got boobs and all the rest of the female anatomy.

I think sexism is inequality between men and women.

Erm, making you feel like a sexual object,

when you're obviously not - you're just going out for a walk.

Yeah, I just think it's, like, certain groups of males

probably have a lack of respect towards women.

You know that there is just a lack of respect for you as a person,

and it's got nothing to do with my ability,

but everything to do with my gender.

So do we treat women as badly as the media and stats suggest?

According to a UN report published last year...

Britain is the most "in-your-face sexist" country in the world.

Is it?

-Sexism still exists.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-It's thriving.

-It's still there.

-Like a cancer.

People who don't see it or experience it

they don't think it exists any more.

But it exists in other people's lives.

Even celebrities are rallying to the cause.

Take this impassioned speech from Emma Watson at the UN.

Men, gender equality is your issue, too.

So is our attitude to women really getting worse?

Do men have any idea how women actually feel about the way

they're being treated?

And is there anything that we can do to change things?

For the next month, I'm going to travel the country to find out,

from university sports teams...

INDISTINCT SINGING

..to nights out clubbing.

I had my arse grabbed.

Somebody came up behind me and thrusted into my back...side.

I'll find out how language is a big part of the problem...

Scrubber, moose, hag, dog, tramp, slat, whore, tart...

..and how the internet is being used as the latest weapon against women.

In July, 2013, I became a victim of revenge porn.

I'll discover what's being done to tackle the problem...

I want you all together, now, to shout.. SPARTANS!

URGH! URGH! URGH!

..and meet some who think it is men who are getting a rough deal.

Do you think young men are in crisis at the moment?

Definitely. Men don't have a place in the world, that they once did.

And find out how girls, and boys, are fighting back.

I'm going on a journey

to find out just how sexist my generation is.

But before I set off, there was just time to pop to our local

to say farewell to Dad, and get his take on the subject.

Do you think we've got a problem with sexism in the UK?

No, I think there probably IS sexism in the UK,

but then you have to then narrow down what you think sexism is.

You know, sexism can be different things to different people.

-Do you think I'm sexist?

-No.

No, I don't think that.

I've never seen any evidence of you being sexist?

No, I don't think you are, at all.

But something that happened to me recently...

I remember, some random person...

I was going through the door and I held it like that for her,

and she just looked at me as if to say...

"Why? You go first, it's fine."

She wasn't saying, like, I was being sexist, but, as if to say,

"Don't bother."

Holding a door open for a woman... What's wrong with that?

Holding a... I open car doors for women all the time.

-That's how I was brought up.

-That's one of the things that really annoys me.

I can't even do it any more!

It used to be, when I was brought up, if you were in a restaurant

and a woman gets up to go to the loo, or whatever,

you stand up while she leaves the table.

-If I do that now, people think, right

-BLEEP

-nutter.

And it's the hypersensitivity to try and not to be sexist.

Of course it is, yeah.

Because you can't say anything.

Oh, I don't know.

This is a tough one. Good subject.

Good subject, but I don't...

I don't know. Presumably you're going to find out

by the end of this thing, aren't you?

I'm off to university to start my search

because apparently they're quickly becoming, like,

hotbeds for rampant sexism.

There's a report here from the National Union of Students

that says in universities,

groping is seen as a normal part of a night out.

Is it?

And there's a website called Unilad -

I'm sure you can guess what that is,

a website for lads at uni -

all about, sort of, girls and shagging and stuff...

and there was a post here on a forum from a guy, it says...

"It's not rape, I like to call it a struggle-cuddle."

And these guys all over the country at university have been

in the news, in the papers, for what they would call "banter"

about things like raping freshers and spiking girls' drinks.

But before we get to university, let's further our education with

a quick history lesson to see how men have been treating women badly

for generations.

Back in your great-grandmother's day,

the suffragette movement was formed,

to the horror of men all over the country.

By 1918, women were finally granted the right to vote.

Well, sort of.

You had to be over 30 and qualify as a homeowner,

where, up until the 1950s,

a woman's place was definitely meant to be.

Then in the 1960s,

women took to the streets again

to continue their fight for equal rights.

And it worked.

In 1975, the Sex Discrimination Act

was passed,

meaning women were now officially equal to men.

And four years later, we had our first female Prime Minister.

The lady's not for turning.

# Yo, I'll tell you what I want What I really, really want

# So tell me what you want... #

Change was definitely in the air and by the '90s,

it appeared that girls were on top.

# If you want to be my lover, you got to get with my friends...#

Fast forward to the present

and it seems like we're going backwards fast.

Sexist video games, sexist porn,

Dapper Laughs,

and a resurgence of a predatory lad culture.

How do you want your eggs?

Same as last night, yeah? Fertilised?

He knows...!

So, back to uni, where apparently the worst offenders

are the sports clubs, who see singing sexist songs

as part and parcel of a fun night out.

Last year mobile phone footage of a Stirling University rugby team

went viral when they were caught singing an updated version

of an old drinking song on a public bus.

Fellow passengers in this footage are clearly shocked and appalled

by their behaviour.

-WOMAN:

-That's so brutal.

INDISTINCT SHOUTING AND CHANTING

I'm starting my journey in Cardiff,

a thriving university city famous for its love of a good night out

and rugby.

But I've come here to play hockey.

To be honest, I was a little relieved -

rugby always terrified me at school!

I want to really get under the skin of lad culture

and see if university sports clubs

are really as bad as it's been suggested.

To do that, hockey captain Chris and chairman Ben

have promised to take me on a big night out.

All right?

Yeah, a bit cold!

'But first I have to prove my worth on the pitch.

'Easier said than done.'

Drive it forward.

I feel kind of like a kind of sense of camaraderie, which is quite nice.

Like...team spirit, kind of thing.

So far, the most offensive thing about this game

has been my hockey skills.

Maybe the sexist behaviour will start to reveal itself in the locker room,

where - let's face it - everything else is revealed!

Stop looking.

That is the coldest shower ever!

Warm shower?

'My initiation into the world of university sports teams

'and Unilad culture begins with a bottle of shampoo

'poured over my head.'

Bad spillage!

'Closely followed by my second cold shower of the day.'

Oh, my gosh!

GASPS AND GROANS

It's a pair of shoes, boys!

I feel like I'm kind of being initiated into this lad world,

but I don't know if I'm fully there, yet.

I seem to be doing some of the lad things wrong.

WOMAN: Why, what're you doing wrong?

I don't know. Didn't like my shoes. They're not laddie shoes, apparently.

I thought they were smart, but...

looks like I've fallen at the first hurdle.

-You're ready?

-I'm ready!

'Suited and booted, time to hit the bars of Cardiff.'

Three, two, one... Go!

In time-honoured tradition, a hockey lads' night out

kicks off with some drinking games.

SHOUTING

WILD SHOUTING ERUPTS

I quickly learn that drinking

is a big part of a lads' night out.

As is...

a good old-fashioned sing-song, led by star player Mattie.

INDISTINCT DRUNKEN SINGING

A few beers later, attention is turned to some girls in the bar.

# Have you ever seen Millsy pull a wench...#

They are serenaded by a traditional hockey love ballad, Pull a Wench.

# Have you ever seen Millsy pull a wench? #

Whilst Chris and some of the boys

try to impress the ladies with their banter,

I was about to be initiated into another hockey tradition.

It's a game called Tell Her,

and the rules are if someone says something about a girl

and a team-mate shouts "Tell her!"

then he must immediately go up to the girl

and tell her what he just said.

So, say, for example, some idiot just told his new team-mates

that he didn't fancy a girl at the bar...

-TELL HER!

-Tell her!

Tell her!

Excuse me.

Excuse me. I'm really sorry about this,

erm, I wouldn't have sex with you at the moment.

< I would!

Yes. I was the idiot.

I'm really sorry.

That was so awkward.

Why do you have to do that?

It teaches you respect.

You know, they're having a great time

and they're absolutely lovely guys,

but, you know, I really enjoyed hanging out with them and playing hockey with them,

and just kind of really feeling that sort of kind of team spirit.

The camaraderie.

And the idea that you've always got a group of mates to go out with.

You've always got someone there to back you up, kind of thing.

That's really nice, but... as the night progressed,

and they're literally just chucking drinks down their throats,

you know - they're lovely guys - but they just change slightly.

I don't think they fully really know the way that they are acting,

and I felt a bit uncomfortable

going up to random women and putting your arms around them, and stuff.

It's just...

That was just a little bit too far for me, I think.

# I've got to beam a message to you

# Straight from the satellite... #

I felt quite bad when I woke up this morning.

Not just because of my hangover,

but mainly because last night

I was so, like, wound up in how uncomfortable I was feeling,

and how uncomfortable I felt having to go up to women

and tell them things and watching the lads tell women

that they're fat, and stuff,

and if I was feeling uncomfortable,

then imagine how those women must have felt.

To find out, I managed to track down some of the girls from last night.

Shelby, Jasmine, and Georgia are students at university here.

I wanted to find out how the boys' behaviour

and drinking games affected them.

-Hiya.

-You all right?

-Fine, thank you.

-Cool.

I don't know if you saw me last night,

-but I kind of saw you guys last night in Missoula.

-Yes.

-Yes.

We kind of met.

But, erm...you were chatting to some of the lads I was with

and, to be honest, I think you actually left

at quite a good time in the night.

I noticed that with the volume of the guys

you could tell that the alcohol was sort of taking an effect.

And that's when they start coming over to us

and showing that actually they were drunk.

The louder it gets, the more you don't want to be around them.

I really got, erm, a sense that...

..it was just like they don't even think about it.

It's just, like, what the hockey team

and what these people have just done for years.

I don't think they actually really

think about how it makes girls feel, sometimes.

No. If you get upset "Oh, it's just banter!"

That's, like, the most coined...

-That word has just been used for so many things.

-Yeah.

-"Just get over it."

-Covers a lot of nasty comments, doesn't it?

"Oh, it's just banter."

Are there any sort of specific examples of the sexism

you've experienced that, like, stand out?

I have a few experiences where you're at a bar,

and someone tries to approach you

because they see you're not with your friends

and because I'm quite short the angle that I'm stood at

they'll make a comment about my chest being out,

or something like that.

-Or they'll just stick their head in.

-Yeah, they grope freely,

and it's not very nice.

You sort of tell them to f-off, or something, or back off,

and then they say, "Well, why are you wearing it?"

or "Why would you do it? You're just asking for it" sort of thing.

I'd seen things from the boys' perspective,

so now I wanted to see things from the girls' side.

And what's the best way to really understand

what it's like to be a girl?

By becoming one, of course!

The girls are already ready by the time I arrive for our big night out.

You need to help me look as good as I can, basically! OK?

-Yeah.

-We can do that. You're in good hands.

What do you want to wear? Have you got anything in mind?

I guess I want to look hot,

but I don't want to look, like, really slutty.

-That word!

-But, honestly.

A guy honestly does have a perception...

Girls don't dress slutty, they just end up being branded slutty.

It's such a fine line, as well.

Well, I apologise, but I want to be on that side of that line.

-I suppose it must be quite a fine line.

-Absolutely.

Because guys like you label us as slutty.

I did apologise straight afterwards. THEY CHUCKLE

I wasn't sure my apology had cut it, though.

And I was worried the offence I'd caused

would derail my girls' night out before it'd even started.

Well, anyway you all look pretty stunning,

so I think I'm going to try and go and do the same to myself.

-Yeah? All right?

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

I vow one day there will be a film where I don't dress as a woman!

# Midnight...#

I think I look quite nice.

I'm struggling with this wig so much,

you're just going to have to help me. I'm so sorry.

Something tells me my wig isn't the only problem.

So, what's actually wrong with my outfit?

You look...awful.

-..told me to buy is.

-No.

I wouldn't wear that on a night out even. And I've got a girl's figure.

I'm trying my best!

-Yeah, you did.

-Try the dress.

OOHS AND AAHS

Do you think I look really sexy, now?

Yeah, it looks cool.

Do you guys like attention, or dislike attention on nights out?

We don't do it for that, we do it for ourselves.

-ALL:

-Yeah.

Could you explain that a little bit?

For a bloke, it's kind of hard to understand.

So who do you guys dress up for?

Who am I dressing up for, right now?

Our night doesn't revolve around guys.

We like to make sure that we're dressing up for each other.

'I think that's a big part of why a lot of guys

'behave so badly towards women - they just don't realise that girls

'aren't dressing up for them.'

So, then, when a guy thinks he can do something which is

one step too far, that's not really cool.

Absolutely not.

And where would you say that boundary is?

When it's, like, sexual - too far.

Saying you look nice, your body looks nice - fine.

Like, literally, pointing to a bit of your body - I don't know...

Right, so what do you think the worst that's going to happen to you tonight is?

Erm...

The worst is you can be spiked, so...

-Spiked?

-Yeah.

I'm pretty sure I know what to be spiked means,

but is it when they put drugs in your drink,

so that you basically can't function

so that they can basically rape you?

Yeah, I think that's, like, the general idea of it.

Has that, like, properly happened?

-It's happened to me.

-It's happened to you?

-Yeah. It happened to me.

It was in Freshers' Week,

I went on a night out...

I just ended up finding myself in some random uni halls.

I had the police take the home.

I had to go to hospital,

I had to get blood tests...

So, yes. Scary.

Yes, I mean, I'm surprised that actually all of you probably know

-one person who's been spiked.

-ALL:

-Yeah.

I thought it was something...

-Honestly, I thought it was something from, like, films and stuff.

-No.

'Shelby is far from alone.

'Shockingly, a recent survey at nearby Swansea University

'found that one in three female students have had their drink spiked.

'A sinister example of the dangers young woman face

'at university today.'

OK, am I looking all right?

'Time to leave for the club.'

Ooh. I am going to be so cold.

Does anyone have a little jacket, or anything?

-No!

-No!

-That's not what we do!

'So, a girls' night out dictates I must freeze.'

THEY ALL SHIVER

OK, guys. Where is the club?

'Worth saying it's sub-flipping-zero!'

It is a bit of a walk.

'We are being filmed on a hidden camera as we walk to the club,

'so I can experience what it is really like for a girl

'walking the streets at night.

'We've only just started walking...

'and a random bloke on the street shouts sexual abuse at us.'

-What?

-What's he done now?

-What'd he say?

-He said, "Oh, I love pussy, I do."

THEY LAUGH

Oh, my God...! Oh, my God!

Licking his lips? That was nice(!)

What's, like, the worst thing that's happened walking down the street on a night out?

Getting catcalls... You can't do anything when you're far away.

It's something every single night.

'Now every bloke we pass on the street feels like a potential threat.

'My girls' night out is quickly becoming a real eye-opener.'

MUSIC PLAYS

'This is what girls do on a night out, isn't it?

'Also at the club were Chris, Mattie and Ben from the hockey team.'

Definitely a lot of people in there who know that I'm a bloke,

but some people probably fancied me.

SHE LAUGHS

Specially when they grabbed your bum and were buying you drinks.

I've had drinks bought, I've had bum-grabs,

and you look round, and they're nowhere to be seen.

It's like a spank.

-Yeah. That happens a lot. Your bum gets...

-How do they just vanish?

Particularly in the club, I had my arse grabbed.

Somebody came up behind me and thrusted into my back...side.

When that guy thrusted into me, I turned round straight away

-and he was high-fiving his friends.

-Really?

He thought it was funny.

You must feel like an exhibition, then?

They don't really value you as a human being.

When we first met,

-I did not know it was a male.

-And you squeezed my bum, didn't you?

I did squeeze your bum.

What type of girls tonight caught your eye?

There was you, there was two blondes...

One with a lot...to show.

There was one with this - Chavasaurus rex.

If she's doing that, what do you think that means?

-Do think that means she wants attention?

-She wants then, erm...

-Possibly. I don't believe...

-Wants the "D".

-What's the D?

-There's the D.

I think we can all guess what "the D" stands for.

Do you know what, I've actually had a really good time this evening.

Like, I've been out the lads,

and have had a lads' night.

I've been out with the girls, and have had a proper girls' night,

and I've kind of seen it from the other side.

But, the thing that does shock me,

is when you speak to any women, any girls on the street or in the club,

you know, each one of them has got at least one pretty harrowing story

of, you know, everyday sexism.

My experiences in Cardiff with the girls have made me realise

just how rife sexism is,

and how little respect women sometimes get from us men.

But as much as I thought otherwise at the beginning of my journey,

by using the word slutty,

it was clear that I was part of the problem, too.

Scrubber, moose, hag, dog, tramp, slut, whore, tart,

slapper, Delilah, Jezebel, trout...

Don't worry, I haven't suddenly got Tourette's - bear with me...

..pig, slut, sket, skank, thirsty bitch,

harlot, floozy, minger, gash bike...

Yeah, all right, I did make "gash bike" up,

but there is actually a very serious point to all this.

Because in the English language

there are over 200 derogatory terms to describe a girl

who sleeps around a lot, but there are only a few for guys.

Now that seems like a pretty serious imbalance.

So, meet Joe and meet Hannah.

Now, Joe has slept with 30 girls

and Hannah has slept with 30 guys.

So I'm going to go into the street

to see what people think about them both.

Ready, guys? Yeah, no, no, it'll be fun, it'll be good fun.

No, it'll be fun. Yeah, yeah. Let's go, let's go.

So how will people judge Joe and Hannah -

not their real names or their sexual history, by the way -

for having the same number of sexual partners?

OK, so, this is my mate Joe.

He's slept with 30 girls.

-What would you think of him?

-Lad.

-Lad?

-Yeah. Lad.

-And this is my friend Hannah.

Now she's slept with 30 guys - what do you think of her?

First word that pops into my head would probably be slag.

-I'd think he was a lad.

-Yeah.

-Probably.

-Bit of slag.

-LOUD LAUGHTER

-Player.

-Player.

-Slut.

-FRIEND CHUCKLES

Naughty boy, I would say. A bit of a slut.

His friends will think he's a bit of a lad.

But some girls will think she's a slut. They'd be jealous.

He's a game fella. On the other hand he could be dying of diseases.

-I think she's...

-She's a slag.

-..a slag,

considering she's been with so many men.

Erm, well, that's put me right off her, to be honest.

Even the girls are calling her a slut.

Perhaps we really do need to come up with a new word for a female stud.

Do you think there's actually a female equivalent

-for the word stud or lad?

-I've never heard one, no.

Well, you've got to come up with one.

Lass, probably!

Do you think there is a female equivalent of the word stud?

No. Not that exists.

Well, I guess you kind of could say that slag is the equivalent,

-but not really, because stud is a good thing.

-Yeah.

-Slag isn't.

It seems to be one rule for one gender and one rule for the other,

which is obviously wrong.

Female stud, all I can think of is, like, fud is a female stud.

Right. So there you have it.

I mean, it might not've been the most scientific method,

but I think my experiment definitely proved that

we do have a big double standard when it comes to boys and girls

and that, actually, the language we all use

is a big part of that everyday sexism problem.

And, you know, I guess,

we might have come up with a new word for a female stud - a fud.

(Fud...) Nah.

Nah, maybe not.

'Someone who's done more than most

'to shine a light on the issue of sexism today is Laura Bates,

'founder of the Everyday Sexism project...'

-Fancy going to get a coffee, or something?

-Sure. Sounds good.

'..a website that records everyday incidents of sexist behaviour

'experienced by women on a day-to-day basis.

'Laura didn't want us to identify her office

'as she's been the subject of almost daily threats of violence and rape.

'In just three years, her site has had 100,000 posts.'

Here's a bunch of really typical entries.

So, this is from a girl at school who...

The guy sitting next to her took a picture of her breasts

on his mobile phone and Snapchatted it around to the other guys

at the school without her realising.

Here we've got a 14-year-old girl

in a science class being told to get back in the kitchen,

that all she's good for is cleaning, cooking and blow jobs.

And here another 14-year-old's talking about

being frequently touched, groped and having her breasts grabbed

at school, and it being something that's really normal.

We would have thousands of entries all along those same lines -

people saying the same thing.

I mean, I've had a look at your website myself,

and although most of the stuff on there is terrible...

but there are entries that...

It seems a bit more of a grey area,

where it's not, actually, maybe,

that sexist in a lot of people's opinions.

Do you think there's any danger in if we really are

calling everything sexist

that we're going to get to a worse state,

where actually nothing is sexist?

Well, I definitely don't think that we're in danger at the moment

of overreacting to sexism.

Very much the message we get is that it's something very difficult

for people to speak out about, and it doesn't get recognised.

For me, I think it's a spectrum.

For example, we see a woman who tries to brush off being shouted at or wolf-whistled in the street -

it's not that big a deal - and then finds that because she ignores it,

the guy follows her home

and sexually assaults her on her doorstep.

So it's not separate boxes of

"this isn't that big a deal", "this is more serious"...

These things are kind of more fluid than that,

and they have a bigger impact on each other.

'Sites like Laura's have certainly put sexism on the agenda today

'and it's encouraging to read how it's inspiring a generation of women

'to stand up against it.'

However, the internet is also being used as a weapon against women.

Slut-shaming, or revenge porn,

is where a boy posts an intimate image on the internet of a girl

he used to go out with.

And, yes, it is almost always boys posting images of girls.

I've come to Chelmsford to meet this girl called Hazel

who unfortunately was "shamed" by her ex-boyfriend

in quite a brutal way.

She's done quite a lot of stuff in the papers -

there's something in a tabloid here...

Hazel hit the headlines last year

after her ex-boyfriend posted an explicit sex tape of them

over the internet.

What was it like the moment you find out?

I was just so shocked.

I feel humiliated.

Like, all these strange, like,

gross men have seen it.

I just felt so...

exposed, you know?

Revenge porn is one way for a boy to assert power over their ex,

but Hazel refused be crushed

and decided to speak up.

That's quite, like, a brave thing to do, don't you think?

I'm trying to tell my story to help others, really.

I want my word to get out

and to show that I'm not ashamed,

and the other victims shouldn't be ashamed either.

And what are you doing today, then?

Well, I'm going to go to a local school, Bosworth School,

and I'm going to speak to some six-formers

and tell them my story.

Hello, everyone.

-PUPILS:

-Hello.

My name's Hazel, and in July, 2013,

I became a victim of revenge porn.

I was in a relationship for about nine or ten months

and I broke up with him,

but before, when we were in love, or when we thought we were in love -

we'd done a little video.

But when we broke up, he posted the video onto actual porn sites

and it took over a year to get rid of it.

And the one thing that I would like to tell everyone

is to be aware.

Because I know it can have the same psychological effects as rape,

and I don't want people to feel that way.

So, just by a show of hands, how many of you actually know someone

that this type of thing has happened to?

Whoa.

OK, I did not expect that.

'I only left school three years ago,

'but in that time, the problem seems to have become a lot worse.'

I know so many people that've had it happen to them.

Probably 20 people.

It happened to one person, like, recently.

And they didn't come into school for a very long time.

They didn't hang around with the same people.

I think their friends just stopped talking to them

because they were embarrassed

and didn't want to be associated with, like, "a slag."

And they just lost all of their friends

and they're still to this day, getting hate

because of what they did.

Obviously, it happens to both guys and girls,

but in either way in the situations

a guy always somehow comes out on top

in the way...it doesn't affect him really, like, socially.

Like, even sometimes you could say he would get a little bit more popular

for receiving these pictures.

Or showing his friends them.

Whereas, a girl, no matter how... how much...

she will always come out on bottom.

'The stuff I was hearing from the girls was shocking

'and I wanted to get a sense of why boys do it.'

Do you think the media and social networking are actually

-allowing men to be more sexist?

-Yeah.

Because of the rights and...

now that women are allowed to vote and everything,

and because of that they have to find another way

to push them down and show that they're the dominant.

And you've still got your old-fashioned,

"Oh, yeah, we're better" people,

and we need to say, "No, that's enough."

In the past when, you know, I'd have been

shown a picture of my mate's naked girlfriend,

I'd probably have thought, ah, yeah, that's cool, quite nice, whatever.

I wouldn't have thought anything about the girl in the picture.

Now, I'd be more inclined to think,

no, mate, stop, what are you doing? Why are you showing me that?

That's not a nice thing to do.

And really, I think that's what we ALL should be saying.

'At the beginning of this journey, I was unsure about what to think,

'but I'm starting to see things differently now.

'It really has begun to hit home

'just how big a problem it is for girls

'and it made me start to think about my own girlfriend, Libby,

'and what she might have had to put up with.'

I'm quite excited to see my girlfriend.

-Hi there, babe.

-Hey, you OK?

-You all right? Yeah, I'm good.

-I missed you.

-I missed you more. Hey, Reg! Reggie boy!

-Reg is here.

-Hello!

'Libby and I have been together for a year and a half,

'but this will be the first time I've ever asked her

'about any sexist behaviour she might have experienced.'

You know, you're just walking, like, walking down the street,

mind your own business, blah, blah, blah...

-I get beeped at all the time.

-I've seen it, yeah.

Just cos you get the workmen in their vans and...

um, train stations?

A lot of the time, it's happened before, there's empty carriages

and, you know, a guy comes and sits next to you on a whole empty garage.

-On an empty carriage. Oh, my God.

-And it's like...really?

-Yeah.

And it gets to the point where you kind of just brush it off,

cos you just get it so often and you just accept that's what guys do.

And I mean, I have to say initially,

I didn't think our generation was particularly sexist,

but seeing the Cardiff lads,

you know, they do this thing when they...

they just walk up to random women in bars and...

tell them random things like...

oh, I don't want to have sex with you.

'OK, technically, yes, that was me.'

Do you ever get though, like, in our generation now,

it's like the way to chat up a girl is to act like that towards them?

And guys think that going out and being a lad and drinking

and going up to girls and being like, oh, yeah,

can I have sex with you, can I see your boobs and stuff like that,

that guys just think that that is how you get girls nowadays?

But is it ever flattering?

Um, in some cases, yes.

But even if a really, really hot guy came up to me

and said, oh, show us your tits, I would still be like,

hang on, that is a bit weird.

I would still want him to be respectful to me.

-There we go.

-It looks all right, doesn't it?

-Perfect, look at that.

-Do you want it now or shall we put it in the fridge?

-In the fridge.

-I think so,

cos I'm not really in the mood for that much salad.

I don't think I'll ever be in the mood for that much, but it's good fun.

'Libby had raised an interesting point.

'Guys in our generation just don't know how to talk to

'and behave in front of girls any more.

'Maybe we just need a bit of a helping hand.'

Someone who claims to offer this help is Beckster.

He runs classes to teach young men how to approach women

and bring out their inner alpha male.

I find the best way to do this

is first of all, learn the training wheels,

like, the conversational pieces,

the conversational starters.

The thing is, a lot of people would describe me as kind of like, um...

-kind of like metrosexual.

-Yes.

So, like, how are you going to, how are you going to help me?

Maybe instil a bit more of the alpha man in you.

That just means being more, the most confident self you can be,

it doesn't mean walking around, going, beefcake,

-or anything like that.

-Yeah.

-It just means,

being 100% positive in your actions,

the words you say, having conviction in what you're going to do

and seeing someone you like and having the courage

-to go up and talk to them.

-But I'll be so nervous.

It's fine, with time, your confidence grows

-and you'll be absolutely fine. Deal?

-OK, all right.

-Let's do it.

-All right, deal. Deal.

-Cool.

-Instant date.

'Two men in leather gloves fisting in a London park?

'You can't get more alpha male than that.'

To kick things off, we begin with the theory

in a classroom above a London pub.

So, we're going to wake you up, get the blood going.

Who's seen the film 300? Do you know the roar on it?

-Yeah.

-Spartans!

So, I want you to altogether now shout, "Spartans!" Then, "Ooh, ooh, ooh!" OK?

'Hang on, I thought he said this wasn't like that.'

-Spartans!

-ALL:

-Spartans!

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Right, good, now sit down.

That's just waking the blood up and getting you going.

-'We start with some basics.'

-Smiling is important.

Smiling, apparently increases your chance...

by 80%.

Just me smiling quite a lot.

So, just smile more.

Yeah? Just, big smiles. That's it, I want to see the pearly whites.

There you go. See?

Now we're laughing, this is fun, this is contagious.

This works, this is great for people. Right...

This is the time, pens and paper.

BECKSTER LAUGHS

Capture,

bond...

and...what do you think the last one might be?

'Er, get her phone number?

'Cheeky kiss? First date?

'Move in together and get married?'

Sex.

FAINT LAUGHTER

'I didn't see that one coming, but you have to admire the ambition.'

Capture their...imagination.

Capture their emotions, OK?

And capture their humour. Bond.

-What do you think I mean by bond?

-Getting to know them better.

Getting to know them better.

And this is building deep rapport,

which also is one way to find a mate or a friend, OK?

I've just said friend.

What happens if we stick in the bonding stage?

-What happens?

-Friend zone.

Yeah, you get stuck in the friend zone.

Who's been stuck in the friend zone? Put your hands up. I have.

Yeah? Exactly. And why is that?

Cos you didn't show any sexual interest.

You're too scared to man up

and take it to the next level, which is sex.

'I'm curious to find out about my classmates

'and their reasons for being here.'

I don't want to just pull, you know what I mean?

That's probably one of the main reasons why I'm still a virgin,

because I want to meet someone.

It just, like, some people have had the social upbringing

so they've met all the women through that. Other people haven't.

So what do they do? Do they go home and cry about it,

play on computer games? I don't know.

Or they can go out and meet women.

'Tom's a good-looking guy.

'Surely he doesn't have a problem approaching girls.'

I used to be sort of scared of rejection.

I used to be very shy,

and I used to kind of care too much what people thought about me,

so I thought just by being quiet, you know...

What would the ultimate, perfect guy that you want to be be?

I think everyone wants to be James Bond, don't they, really?

-James Bond?

-Yeah.

I'm going to teach you a conversational piece

that we can start using today.

So write this one down.

So when we're stopping people on the street or in the park,

it's a delicate subject of body language and gestures and so on,

so we want to be quite careful not to invade their space too much,

and how to do it correctly and fluidly,

with calibration and confidence.

So the first thing is the walk up.

So I can practise on you first. If you stand up for a moment.

Hey, sorry, I've only got a moment,

but I was just chatting to my friend, Alison.

She's in Primark at the moment.

So a little joke there and so on. And then you...

'Ha-ha, the old Alison in Primark joke.

'Classic! Always funny.

'Theory over, time now to put it into practice.

'So we all head off to Covent Garden to try out our newly learned skills.'

Let's go. Come on.

Is that it?

But whilst my classmates all confidently head off on the pull,

I'm feeling a bit nervous.

When you're nervous, the first three times are always going to be the most nerve-racking thing.

But once you get over that, cos you get used to doing it,

realise you're not going to die, it's all good.

People will be really friendly and open,

and if they don't want to talk, they'll just say sorry

and carry on and you know, leave you to it. So it's fine.

-So there's no interaction that's really a bad interaction.

-OK.

As long as you keep it nice, it's all good.

Buoyed up by Beckster's pep talk, I see a nice looking girl.

Excuse me, I'm really sorry.

I've always actually wondered, are Ugg boots any good?

Are they very comfy? They are?

'All seems to be going well.'

What's your name, by the way? INAUDIBLE

-Could I have your phone number?

-No, sorry.

-OK.

That's all right, no problem. Thank you.

Hi, there. Excuse me.

I wanted to come say hi cos I thought you looked really nice.

OK, thank you.

'The rejections were coming thick and fast.

'I needed some expert one-to-one coaching from Beckster.'

You could maybe use the wanted or needed question.

-OK.

-"My friend's just in the Apple Store, so I've only got a moment,

"but I just wanted to ask you this question -

"what do you think's better, to be wanted or needed by somebody?"

Hi, there. Excuse me. I'm really, really sorry. I've only got a minute,

my friend's just in the Apple Store. Can I ask you girls a quick question?

Do you think it is better to be wanted or needed?

All right, thank you very much.

'I give up.

'I hope my fellow classmates were having more luck than me.'

-Hey, Tom, is it going?

-I've got one number.

Cool. So how have you found it today, then?

It's been quite intense. Like, you know, sort of... It's interesting.

I'm still learning quite a lot.

Quite tired. It's full-on.

'While we were talking, Tom suddenly spots a girl he fancies,

'and decides to give it one final go.

'This was going to be amazing.

'I could feel Cupid drawing his bow.

'Go on, Tom. Go on!'

Excuse me.

'Ah.'

How did that go? What happened there?

I give up.

Fuck this.

'Unlucky, Tom. But at least you got a number.

'I wonder if the others had any more success.

'Is that Vas over there with a potential date?'

So over there, Vas has actually managed to pull someone,

and he's sat with them at a restaurant.

That's peculiar.

I don't think I'd be able to do that.

And is that the...

Well, he's pulled, basically.

'Beckster's class clearly helped Vas,

'and I could see how teaching men to talk to women

'can help us treat girls more respectfully.

'But I wanted to here if girls think

'random men approaching them in the street is OK or not.'

I'm guessing you guys get approached in the street?

I think when it does happen, it's mainly, like, builders and stuff.

Yeah, just shouting things.

Shouting or whistles, and stuff like that,

and that just really, really angers us.

Do think it's a bit of a weird thing to do?

I just think it's nicer when people talk to you, like...

Yeah, it's the approach. It's definitely the approach. It's like, you can just be genuine.

Like, "Oh, hi, my name's so-and-so." You know?

That's a lot... I think girls appreciate that more than

just a really cheesy, like, "Oh, I think you're fit."

'I, though, was having doubts about whether Beckster's classes

'were the kind of help my generation needs.

'I wondered whether this approach was more likely

'to encourage sexist behaviour than end it.'

-Do you think it's in any way sexist, what we were doing?

-No, not at all.

What would you say to people who say it is sexist?

Well, I mean, obviously there are different people

teaching different things. We're teaching lifestyle,

social skills and confidence.

So I would say that whoever they're talking about are doing it wrong.

Today I felt a little bit, sometimes,

like I was kind of harassing women.

Do you... In some way, do you kind of feel

a bit of a responsibility

-because of the fact that you teach this?

-I think it's totally fine as long as you do it in the right way,

you're respectful, you're not rude or crude, not hurting anyone's feelings

and not breaking the law, it's all good things.

And they're all things we promote not to do.

We always want to keep a clean, confident school.

Meeting Beckster and the guys today, I have seen that there's a lot of it that's pretty harmless,

actually, and on the positive side, he's just telling these guys about

a skill that they can learn to improve their life with

and appear more confident with.

But if getting that skill comes at the expense

of harassing a woman on the street, then can that ever be a good thing?

'Helping men get the skills to safely navigate

'the minefield of sexism are Nick and Dave,

'two Australians who set up the Good Lad Workshop

'to promote positive masculinity

'and help university sports teams become good lads.

'I wanted to find out more, and I knew just the boys to take along -

'my hockey buddies from Cardiff.'

Basically this is a workshop for men, and for men like us.

It's about talking about complex gender situations,

and hopefully by thinking about things, we can actually examine

and improve the relationships we have with others.

It's trying to encourage us as guys to, before we do things,

to think about them, or think about the implications on others.

So to start, we're just going to get some of the blood flowing

and do something hopefully very quick and fun.

So how positive is actively supporting a male friend

going through a break-up?

How positive is a guy grabbing an unknown girl's arse in a club?

'As the session progressed, I was keen to get the guys' thoughts.'

Going in I was a little bit...

tedious, like, you said it was a lads' workshop.

But when you actually saw the message behind it, it was quite cool.

It kind of did hit home.

So the next one we call what to wear.

You're getting along really well, and after a while, you lean in to kiss her,

and she leans away, smiles, and at this stage,

she sort of backs away, and she says,

"Sorry, I have a boyfriend."

Saying, "Oh, I've got a boyfriend," it's like a defence mechanism.

Cos not many lads want the confrontation in the club.

'I had a feeling the penny was beginning to drop.'

Just being constantly aware that other people

are affected by your actions, and by saying certain things

in a certain way, you can have a really negative impact.

All the women we have spoken to around the country say

there is nothing sexier than a guy

who is confident enough to ask for consent.

You don't have to say, "Excuse me, can I have sex with you now?"

You can say, like, "Can I touch you there? Do you like that?

"What would you like me to do?"

Like, from today, you think, actually,

my actions in the past could actually get me in trouble,

sort of thing. So you've got to lower that line.

Like, I don't really want the consequence that could happen

from doing the actions I have been doing. I've got to take that step back

and really think logically about where I want to go in the future.

Think, oh, just for one night out I could ruin my life.

I could tell the guys were pretty sceptical this morning

about the Good Lad Workshop.

They were really defensive at the start.

You know, I could tell that they didn't think

they were the type of guy that was being described.

And to be honest, to be able to come out and admit that,

and you know, to take that on the nose,

and really, truthfully actually want to change,

cos I think they do - you know, that's a big thing.

And I've got a lot of respect for that.

'So far on my journey, I've heard only that it's men who are sexist.

'I've come to Nottingham today to hear from someone

'who thinks quite the opposite.

'Mike Buchanan believes it's a woman's world, run by feminists who hate men.

'He argues it's men, and not women, who've been getting a rough ride,

'and he's on the campaign trail for his political party,

'called Justice For Men And Boys.'

I thought I'd better have a little bit of a look

at Mike's book before I met him.

So that's what I've done, and this is the cover of his book.

And I just want to read you a bit from chapter 5.

"My theory is that many feminists are profoundly stupid

"as well as hateful, a theory that could be readily tested

"by arresting a number of them and forcing them, with the threat

"of denying them access to chocolate, to undertake IQ tests."

Doesn't sit on the fence, this Mike, does he?

-Is this Justice For Men And Boys?

-It is, Tyger. Nice to meet you.

-Mike Buchanan.

-Nice to meet you. I'm Tyger.

-Josh.

-Hi, Josh. How you doing?

-I'm good.

-Ray.

-Hi, Ray. How you doing?

-Nice to see you.

-Nice to see you too.

So what's going on here, then?

Well, this is a political party, Justice For Men And Boys.

We're here at Nottingham University,

handing out leaflets and engaging with students

on the subject of men's human rights and the abuses of them.

Can I give you a leaflet? Thank you very much.

I mean, feminism is a female supremacy movement

driven by misandry, the hatred of men.

It's a vile ideology.

Gentlemen, good morning. I wonder if I could give you a leaflet.

It's naturally assumed that women are better

and more willing to be parents.

Josh is 18, only a year younger than me.

I wanted to know why he had committed to the Justice For Men cause.

Do you think young men are in crisis at the moment?

Definitely. Now that we're acknowledging as a society

that women are just as good as men, just as equal as men,

men don't have a place in the world that they once did.

You know, a man who goes out to work used to be respected,

cos he was looking after the household,

but now we view that as unnecessary.

Yeah, he's going out and working, but he should do that.

But he doesn't need to do that, because the woman could go out and work anyway.

And so men don't fit neatly into the little boxes they did.

And with the... You know, we don't have as much manual labour jobs any more.

We don't have as many calls to go to big wars like the Second World War.

And all these things that men are uniquely biologically

and psychologically suited for,

that we once slotted nicely into - it's gone.

So young men are lost,

and don't have the same guidance they once had from society.

I mean, what is it you want? You want equality between genders?

I want full equality as far as is obviously reasonable.

Everyone I've met on this journey,

-the only thing that everyone wants...

-Is equality.

-..is equality.

So surely - are you not fighting the wrong battle?

Maybe if you joined forces, you could all be much more powerful?

I would join forces in a heartbeat if I thought it was possible.

'But today isn't a day that Justice For Men and feminists will join forces,

'and it's not long before a group of angry students start arguing with

'Mike and Josh and making it quite clear that they're not welcome here.'

-Sorry?

-Do you think this is acceptable?

-What, men's rights?

-Yeah.

-Yes, men's rights are...

-Do you not think that the whole of society,

-the whole of the world, is organised toward men's rights?

-No, I don't.

And male privilege? In what sense can you possibly justify that?

-Well, I think you need to read our manifesto.

-I've read it.

Well, we have 20 areas where men's...

-The human rights of men and boys are assaulted. There isn't one...

-Assaulted?!

-Yes.

Basically I object to the reinforcement

that only men can help men, I suppose.

It seems...

It's Justice For Men And Boys And The Women Who Love Them.

We're not opposed to having female supporters.

-Women-hating fascists.

-We're not.

-Fuck off.

-We're nothing of the sort.

-You should fuck off away from our uni.

-We're not going to.

What do you think you've got to do in any place,

bashing on women further than what they have over the centuries?

-Why is the male suicide rate...

-You have no place!

-Why is the male suicide rate...

OK, so basically, it's all just gone a bit pear-shaped.

People over there, they're objecting

to Justice For Men's message.

They don't want to be filmed.

Believe it or not, it's actually calmed down a bit.

There was a lot more people there a minute ago,

and it was a bit uncomfortable, to be honest.

So that's why I've kind of brought myself over here to the side.

Moments later, one protester feels so strongly

about Mike's anti-women views, they threw cat litter all over his van.

Luckily, Ray is on hand to check the consistency.

Mike and his group genuinely feel very hard done by women,

but all the women that I've met have shocked me with stories

of spiked drinks and groping and revenge porn,

which just makes Mike's extreme views seem really warped.

Now, Mike is unashamedly anti-feminist,

and although I don't really want to say I share a view with him,

I kind of have always been a bit wary of feminists myself.

And it seems I'm not alone in finding feminists can divide opinion.

-Lesbians.

-HE LAUGHS

No, I mean, they do seem to be more, like, stern

and dress suited and booted.

She don't care what other people think of her.

It's a very powerful women, a feminist.

They've got a big ego.

Someone that walks around full of themselves.

Someone that love themselves a lot.

I'd say just someone who pretty much takes charge,

someone who gives their views and is not afraid to hold back.

Now, feminism is one of those things

that I've never really completely got, because I mean,

in my mind, women and men are equal already, you know?

And from my personal experience, the feminists that I've met

in the past are just a bit sensitive, you know?

You can't really say anything to them without them

just kind of hating on men.

'So I've come to Manchester to face my own prejudice

'and hear what some young feminists have to say,

'and take part myself in a march organised by students.'

Hiya. Is there anyone called Jess here?

-Yeah, hi.

-Hi!

-Tyger, is it?

-Yes, it is.

-Hi, I'm Jess, the women's officer. Nice to meet you.

-Cool.

-Are you here to help out with some banner making?

-Yeah.

Yeah, sure. What would you like me to do?

I mean, what is all this?

-So right now, we're painting one of the banners that's going to be used in the march later tonight.

-OK.

-Do you know anything about the march?

-No.

OK, so the march is called Reclaim The Night,

and the idea behind it is that girls shouldn't have to feel worried

about what they're wearing or if they've been drinking

or who they're with or what time it is when they're out at night.

They shouldn't have to be scared about being raped or attacked.

So this march is about reclaiming the night,

and women really sort of owning the streets

and challenging the idea that being raped or assaulted

is their fault, and that it's down to any of these things,

like flirting or alcohol or skirts.

So that's basically what the march tonight is about.

I'm obviously a guy, and not often do I go on feminist marches,

so do you think anyone is going to think I am a bit of a fake?

No. I think... To be honest, there is a mixed bloc,

so you're not going to be the only guy there.

And the last thing we want is to have that kind of segregation

between men and women, and everything.

So it's much better to have a more group majority

and get everybody involved to sort of all stand as one,

instead of having, like, girls against guys.

'Some of the girls I met at the banner making

'have invited me over for a pre-march party.'

Right, so apparently, part of this Reclaim The Night march,

a big part of it, is that everyone, like, neon paints up.

So I'd better get stuck in, I guess.

LAUGHTER

The girls have told me that the reason they do this

is so that they make themselves as visible as possible.

I think I'm probably visible enough.

LAUGHTER Oh, my God, look at your faces!

'OK, so I might have overdone the zinc.'

-Going for a bit of a decorative look, but...

-I thought we were lighting up the streets!

You definitely are lighting up the streets!

LAUGHTER

It looks good. It's feminism!

LAUGHTER

Nice one.

-CHANTING:

-What do we want?

-Safe streets!

'2,000 men and women are marching to make the streets a safer place

'by reclaiming the night.'

-Safe streets!

-When do want it?

-Now!

-What do we want?

-Safe streets!

This is a lot of fun, actually.

Not that I didn't think it would be, but yeah,

everyone's having a really good time. We're born equal,

and I need to get chanting!

Our streets!

-Our streets!

-Whose streets?

-Our streets!

'Most women do feel afraid outside after dark.

'A recent survey found that 95% of women

'don't feel safe on the streets, and with good reason.

'Last year in the Greater Manchester area,

'there were 6,372 reported violent attacks on women and girls.'

Like, my initial view on feminism,

because I'd never really looked into it,

was that it was just kind of man-bashing.

But actually, after talking to you guys, it's really...

That's not it at all.

-Yeah. And it's been broken in me, I have to say.

-That's good.

No, yeah.

'Emma Watson was right in the speech I saw the start of this film.

'I've learned that sexism is a male issue too.

'Apathy and sitting on the fence are no longer an option.

'A tipping point has been reached,

'and it's time for guys to show their support.'

I have to say, when I first started this journey,

I didn't really think that sexism was much of a problem for my generation.

But then, I suppose, pretty quickly,

when I met the girls in Cardiff,

my opinion did start to change,

and then since then, I really have learned that, actually, sexism -

it is a really big part of so many girls' everyday lives.

'And sexist behaviour doesn't just manifest itself

'in fear and intimidation for the women.

'It also makes us men look really, really bad.'

I think the thing is, men just don't think enough

about their behaviour and their actions,

and actually how that really can potentially devastate a woman.

And we can all think about our actions

and all think about the language we use,

and I've learnt that we need to stand up and be that guy

who says to his mates, you know,

"That's not actually all right to say to a woman."

And I've learnt that we can all do things better.

CHANTING

Honestly, I would never have thought of myself as someone

who would come to a feminist march, but now look at me.

Anyway, I think I've got to go back.

CHEERING Yes!