Tonie and Bobbi Underage and Pregnant


Tonie and Bobbi

Teenager Tonie is given an ultimatum to improve her behaviour by her mum Rachel, while nervous young mum-to-be Bobbi wonders whether she's ready to be a parent.


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Transcript


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I was 15 when I got pregnant

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and I didn't really know how to feel about it.

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Apart from cry.

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Mum, can you feed her?

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I don't want to bring up another child.

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Sometimes I feel like I've stolen her from the hospital.

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-You can't be arsed with your baby.

-I'm a teenager, what do you expect?

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Don't shake your head at me.

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Tonie is sticking her head in the sand at the moment,

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-thinking it's going to go away.

-Mu-um!

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BABY CRIES

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Shh.

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16-year-old single mum Tonie lives in a two bed flat in Farnborough,

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with mum Rachel, step dad Paul and one-week-old baby Lola.

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It's a bit weird, having a kid.

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Only being a kid yourself.

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I was drunk, I had sex.

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I didn't even plan to get pregnant.

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I was disappointed when I found out she was pregnant,

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because she said she was using contraceptives

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and it was just a slip-up. Whether I believe that, I don't know.

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I don't regret anything that happened.

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If I did, I wouldn't have the most beautiful daughter ever.

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It's weird how something so perfect

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could come out of someone like me.

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Before I got pregnant, I was in a lot of trouble with the police.

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Always getting drunk, causing mayhem everywhere.

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I was on a tag for a month,

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but I'm still on a supervision order.

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Antonia was a misfit child.

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Growing up, as a teenager, she was always out

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till all hours, didn't do as she was told,

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rebelled against everything, got into trouble

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when there was trouble to be got into.

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Well, if I didn't buck up my ideas, I would have been going juvie.

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But now I've had Lola,

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she's made me think about going to college

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and university and getting a job.

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Oh, Lola!

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Urgh!

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SHE RETCHES

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Although Tonie's trying to turn her life around,

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she still needs a lot of support.

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Oh, Mum. I can't get that over her head.

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-Look, if you hold it front ways...

-I did hold it like that.

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..and you put it under the chin, over the head.

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I need my mum, only cos she's been there and done it.

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Obviously, I'm still only a kid myself.

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She's her mum, she should have a natural instinct.

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But she's just scared she's not going to do it right.

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It makes me want to cry when she's crying and I don't know what's wrong.

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Oh, it's heartbreaking.

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I don't what to do. You can't talk to her and she can't talk back.

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Well, I'm kinda hoping Tonie sorts her life out.

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I'm glad she's become a mother and it's changed her for the better.

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I was worried that it wouldn't

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and I'd be left holding the baby.

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I've had my kids, I don't want to be bringing up another child.

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It's still a bit weird, waking up, knowing you've got a baby.

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You've got to look after the baby as well as yourself.

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It is a bit hard.

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While Tonie gets used to being a mum,

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in Newcastle, 16-year-old Bobbi is expecting a boy.

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She's calling him Harry.

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Eh, my life, I look bloody huge!

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I was 15 when I found out I was pregnant.

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Now I'm about to have a baby.

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When I found out I was having a baby, I cried. It was hard.

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I didn't know what to do.

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Didn't know how me mam and dad were going to react.

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I was scared.

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I never imagined I'd get pregnant at this age.

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I was shocked, a little bit disappointed.

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I think it's difficult when you find out

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your daughter's been

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having sex at 15.

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It's hard, cos it's your little girl.

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I'm upset that Bobbi's pregnant because, to me,

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she's still my little sister and I'd never imagined

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her having a baby.

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I thought she would have learnt from what I've done.

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Bobbi's sister also got pregnant at 15.

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This is the second one.

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I mean, Ellie is nearly three

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and now I'm going to be a nanna again

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and I'm only 39. That's...

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That's something. I could be in the Guinness Book of Records.

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Like Naomi, Bobbi is no longer with the father of her baby.

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I do think she's too young, but then I did it,

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so I can't really say anything.

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It's so hard.

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Bobbi's watched Naomi struggle.

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It was hard for Naomi.

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I mean, a young mum. Bobbi watched that.

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I thought she'd be more careful.

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In Newcastle, 5% of girls are pregnant before they are 18.

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SHE GASPS

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I've got a stretch mark! On me belly.

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I don't want a stretch mark.

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Are they really stretch marks? Ah, they are as well!

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Now I can't believe I'm having a baby.

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But it's going to here in...

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..God knows how many days.

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It could come now.

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Throughout her pregnancy, Bobbi has been saving money

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to buy a £1,000 pram.

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Her sister Naomi and her daughter have popped over to take a look.

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You're too big.

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-No, Nanna's seen it.

-No.

-Nanna's seen it, man.

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Don't have to put it in there, just put it like that.

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She always loses patience with Ellie,

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cos Ellie just doesn't understand when she says no.

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Ellie just carries on doing it.

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You're going to bloody break it!

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I've only had it half an hour.

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Don't open it!

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I think Bobbi will be different with Harry, cos it's her son

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and she'll understand to have a bit more patience.

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Ellie, you're so annoying!

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Ellie, man!

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With only one week to go,

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Bobbi has to come to terms with the inevitable.

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It's getting close now like, Bobbi.

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-Yeah.

-What's happened to your belly button?

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I feel excited about being a mam.

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But on the other hand, I'm really scared.

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Looks like he's dropped a bit, don't it?

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Turn to the side.

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I don't think I'm ready to be a mam,

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but I think I'm just going to have to learn to be a mum.

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Whilst Bobbi is waiting for the big day, in Farnborough, baby Lola

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is now four weeks old and Tonie is finding it hard to adjust.

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-We'll have a nice clean fresh one.

-You can burp her.

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-Why?

-I don't want sick on me, I just washed my hair.

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MUM TUTS

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You lazy sod!

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Tonie won't be able to rely on her mum forever.

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With space in the two bedroom flat limited,

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Rachel wants Tonie and Lola to move in to a mother and baby unit.

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There's not enough room in the flat for Lola to grow up here.

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I don't want to, cos I'd feel a bit lost without my mum

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if I move out.

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She's a bit anti it, I think she's a bit scared

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about moving out and being by herself.

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Tonie's not confident enough to be by herself with Lola yet.

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She still needs help.

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I won't make her move out till she's left school

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and Lola will be six months then,

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so she should be a dab hand at being a mum by that point.

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Think about your options and what's best for Lola.

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Yeah, but what options are you giving me? Live here or on the streets?

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-As a mother...

-You're kicking me out.

-I'm not.

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You are. Well, I'm not moving out, I'm not choosing to leave.

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-Choosing to leave is moving out.

-You can't live here.

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Lola needs her own room.

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No, because I'm not going in to a mother and baby unit

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and my friends won't come round.

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She needs to be able to look after herself, really.

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I am always going to be here for her.

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But I can't be there 24/7 for her.

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No, I don't want to move out.

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Cos then, I'll be on my own with a baby

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and I'm quite happy living at home.

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After her pregnancy, Tonie has been enjoying getting out again.

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Today, she is visiting her best friend, Amber.

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I don't want to get sick on me.

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Hey, hey!

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Oh, probably too cold for her.

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BABY SCREAMS

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Ah!

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Oh!

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I thought Tonie would end up pregnant at a young age.

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But I thought I would as well.

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I wouldn't want a kid at this age, though.

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It was a bit weird, seeing her with a baby bump

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instead of a bottle of alcohol and a fag.

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I think if Tonie had the choice, she wouldn't have had a baby so young.

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She said that if she could go back, she wouldn't have a kid.

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But she wouldn't change Lola for the world,

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she wouldn't give her up for the world.

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-What are you doing tonight, anyway?

-I know I'm drinking.

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-I'm tagging along. I've got no plans.

-Yeah, if you want.

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-She might want burping, you know.

-Er, that's Mummy's job!

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-She won't be sick on ya.

-Ah, no! That's Mummy's job!

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She won't be as long as you've got the muzzy. Sit her up like that.

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-No, I might hurt her.

-Shut up, they're not made of glass!

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It's the next day and Rachel is worried that Tonie's past

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is rearing its ugly head.

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Tonie came home late last night.

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I feel dead!

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Stop burning the candle at both ends, start being a mother and staying in.

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Yeah, it's quite frustrating, you know,

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cos I was really motherly when I had my babies

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and she's just not that interested, which is quite heart-breaking.

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Mum, can you feed her?

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For God's sake!

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As well as Rachel being concerned about Tonie's parenting,

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her school attendance has dropped, too, adding fuel to the fire.

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Is there any bottles made?

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No.

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-Well, she's hungry, isn't she?

-Oh? Well, go make her a bottle then.

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I'm eating!

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Tonie's just interested in being with her mates

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or being on her phone and doesn't seem to pay much attention to Lola.

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I've spoken to Tonie about it. She says there's nothing wrong.

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Probably going out is keeping me a lot happier and everything.

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Knowing that I can still go out, even if I've got a kid.

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I'm trying to talk her into going down the doctors

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and getting some help or something.

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I don't know if she's got the baby blues or she just can't be arsed.

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My mum thinks I've got post natal depression or whatever it's called

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but I don't even know what it is, so I don't think I've got it.

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Whilst Tonie is struggling to stay on top of motherhood,

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in Newcastle, Bobbi is about to come face to face with it.

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Two days overdue, she's gone in to labour.

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Bobbi, five minutes apart. How are you feeling?

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Rough.

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Rough?

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Go on, Bob.

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BABY CRIES

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Back at home, Bobbi is trying to adapt to life

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with ten-day-old Harry.

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I'm really tired.

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Wish I could just like go to sleep for a month.

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I never thought it was going to be easy,

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it's just the night feeds that are the worst thing.

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It takes ages.

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I think she will find it a little bit difficult.

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When I first had Ellie, I felt really down and tired.

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That's probably the same as what Bobbi is feeling.

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He has been awake all morning. He just won't sleep, man.

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Cos he's not in a routine yet.

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Well, he's flat out now.

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-I had to get him asleep in my arms.

-Sometimes you have to cuddle 'em in.

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-Nurse them.

-What, 24/7?

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-It's not.

-It's all night nearly.

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BABY CRIES

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Hey, hey, hey, hey!

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Mam, I can't do it!

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When Bobbi isn't coping, she'll shout at me,

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saying I can't cope, I can't do it.

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It's important for Bobbi to do it herself cos she's got to.

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She's the mum, not me.

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Hey! Ooh!

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BABY CRIES

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She should be, like, coping more

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because it's... her responsibility.

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She shouldn't, like, expect my mum to help.

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It's Bobbi's time to learn to be a mum.

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You've got to get used to it.

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Right, Bobbi?

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That's better, then settle down for the night.

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No!

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She'll get used to it.

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She'll start feeling better in herself in maybe a week.

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Things'll get easier.

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To try and get Bobbi to do things on her own,

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her mum has decided to leave the house for the afternoon.

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-Bobbi, don't nurse him too much. Settle him down straight away.

-I know.

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Don't spoil him.

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I'm sure you'll cope.

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-Bye, Bobbi.

-Bye.

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BABY CRIES

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Ugh, I got sick on my nails.

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This is the first time I've been left by myself.

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I hope he doesn't start crying.

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I hope he just goes to sleep.

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It's scary because my full responsibility

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is looking after a baby.

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Whilst Bobbi is finding her feet,

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in Farnborough, baby Lola is now six weeks old.

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Tonie's problems have got worse

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and suspecting she may have post-natal depression,

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Rachel wants her to seek help.

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It's not something I want to talk to her about.

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But the doctor might be able to help you.

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Help me with what? I'm fine.

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Fine with attitude.

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I'm a teenager, Mum - what do you expect?

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I expect you to grow up and become a mother. You chose to have a baby.

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Don't shake your head at me.

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If you don't do anything about your baby blues, Tonie,

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then it'll only get worse.

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-And worse.

-I haven't got baby blues.

-And worse.

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-I haven't got baby blues!

-And worse.

-I haven't got baby blues!

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You can't be arsed with you baby.

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I can. I just can't be arsed with you going on in my earhole 24/7.

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I think I need a little bit of help.

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Sometimes I feel depressed and sad.

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Sometimes I don't believe it's real and I don't believe she's mine.

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Sometimes I just feel I've stolen her from the hospital or something.

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But no, she's mine.

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I just still feel like I'm a teenage girl who wants to go out.

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Eventually, Rachael gets Tonie to go to the doctor's.

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When Tonie went to the doctor's,

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the doctor said she hadn't got baby blues.

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It wasn't post-natal depression.

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It was a case of, it was the shock of becoming a mother.

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What a crock of poo that was.

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I've heard it all now.

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It's Friday night, and Tonie and best friend Amber

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are getting ready to go out.

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-What's she crying for?

-I don't know.

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I'm not psychic.

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-Have she had all her bottles?

-Can you go and try feeding her?

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Oh, just have a little bottle.

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I think she's having a bit of trouble bonding a little bit.

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But it's a lot to take in at 16, really.

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I get excited during the week,

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just knowing I'm going out on the weekend.

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I don't actually have to look after a baby for the night.

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It's like she's still trying to live her life like she used to

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and she's sort of realising day by day that she can't.

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What are you crying for?

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I fed you, I've burped you. Maybe you need changing.

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Tonie!

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This time, mum Rachel can't babysit,

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so Tonie's asked Amber's family to step in.

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-Hello, Loley!

-There's another blanket, just in case

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-she gets cold.

-OK.

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Are you coming back to get Lola or is she with us for the night?

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-She's with us for the night.

-OK.

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Right, have a good night, girls, and I'll see you tomorrow.

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Bye-bye!

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The next day, and after her night out,

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Tonie hasn't picked up her daughter.

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Is your mummy still in bed?

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She's lazy, isn't she? Yeah! Say, "Mummy".

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Yeah, voicemail.

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Tonie's in bed, Lola's in the living room.

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Tonie can't be bothered to come and get her yet.

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We're going to have her here for another hour.

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I enjoy looking after Lola,

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it's just I feel like Tonie pushes her on to other people

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cos she doesn't know how to cope with it.

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Tonie never picked up Lola.

0:19:280:19:30

Amber's sister had to deliver her back to her mum.

0:19:300:19:34

In order to get Tonie to behave,

0:19:400:19:41

Rachel has imposed a 10pm curfew but Tonie has repeatedly broken it.

0:19:410:19:47

You can't play peek-a-boo unless she can see you.

0:19:470:19:50

She can't see nothing anyway.

0:19:500:19:52

She can. She can see everything.

0:19:520:19:56

Tonie's made me flip my lid finally. I've had enough of her.

0:19:560:20:01

We had a falling out because apparently,

0:20:010:20:03

I'm always palming off my daughter to everyone

0:20:030:20:06

and she give me a 28-day eviction letter and I took it up the council.

0:20:060:20:10

Tonie just seems to want to dump the baby and not be anywhere near her

0:20:100:20:14

and she finally admitted to me that she's not bonded with her.

0:20:140:20:17

But I think it's more a case of she's more interested in going out

0:20:170:20:22

rather than staying in with her.

0:20:220:20:24

Wouldn't you rather have an active baby

0:20:240:20:26

than a quiet boring baby?

0:20:260:20:28

Babies aren't boring.

0:20:280:20:30

They are. They just... I want her to be a toddler

0:20:300:20:32

so I can actually play with her

0:20:320:20:35

instead of her just laying there.

0:20:350:20:37

I still want my freedom.

0:20:370:20:39

Which I'm still getting,

0:20:390:20:42

just not as much as I'd like.

0:20:420:20:45

Cos it is hard going from a 16-year-old normal kid

0:20:450:20:48

to a 16-year-old mum.

0:20:480:20:51

I just want to remember what my life used to be like.

0:20:510:20:55

Tonie would just be the same if she stayed here.

0:20:550:20:58

I just don't think she'd move on from it.

0:20:580:20:59

I think the best thing for her is to go out

0:20:590:21:02

and get her own place and see just how bloody hard it is.

0:21:020:21:06

Rachel had given Tonie the option to stay at home for six months,

0:21:060:21:10

if she followed house rules.

0:21:100:21:13

I'm quite happy I'm moving out, to be fair.

0:21:130:21:15

Cos then I won't get told what I can and can't do in a house.

0:21:150:21:18

Rules, they're just pathetic.

0:21:180:21:21

It is a struggle for me, kicking Tonie and Lola out,

0:21:210:21:24

cos I do want them here with me

0:21:240:21:28

but the only way to solve it is for her to go and I will be gutted.

0:21:280:21:33

While Tonie has to face some hard facts,

0:21:380:21:41

in Newcastle,

0:21:410:21:42

baby Harry is now two months old

0:21:420:21:45

and Bobbi is settling in to parenthood.

0:21:450:21:47

He has his last bottle at eleven o'clock

0:21:480:21:51

and doesn't wake up till six o'clock in the morning.

0:21:510:21:54

It's really good.

0:21:540:21:56

I couldn't imagine Harry not being here.

0:21:560:21:58

It's not scary any more.

0:21:580:22:01

I was scared at the start

0:22:010:22:04

but now I'm fine.

0:22:040:22:06

I didn't think she would be able to do it.

0:22:060:22:08

I think he's, like, changed her for a good reason,

0:22:080:22:13

cos she doesn't want help with other people,

0:22:130:22:17

she wants to just do it herself.

0:22:170:22:19

They've bonded really well.

0:22:190:22:21

Sing it to Haz.

0:22:210:22:22

La... la la...

0:22:220:22:24

# Let the rain wash away. #

0:22:270:22:30

-SHE LAUGHS

-Harry doesn't look happy.

0:22:320:22:36

And having Harry has also changed her relationship with her niece.

0:22:360:22:42

It's like the slightest thing that Ellie did annoyed Bobbi

0:22:420:22:45

and Bobbi was just shouting at her,

0:22:450:22:47

and that's how everyone

0:22:470:22:49

had mixed thoughts of what Bobbi would be like with Harry.

0:22:490:22:52

Since she's had Harry, she's just changed.

0:22:520:22:56

Like she's nice to Ellie, she holds her hand

0:22:560:22:58

and carries her when we're out.

0:22:580:23:00

With the difficult early days behind her,

0:23:050:23:08

Bobbi is able to enjoy time with her son.

0:23:080:23:10

Everything's got easier now,

0:23:100:23:12

like the older I get, it's getting easier.

0:23:120:23:14

I don't know what the future will hold but I'm glad I've had Harry.

0:23:160:23:20

He's the best thing that's happened to us.

0:23:220:23:26

In Farnborough, it's 24 hours before Tonie has to move out.

0:23:380:23:43

She's still breaking house rules and spending

0:23:430:23:45

even less time at home with her daughter.

0:23:450:23:47

Mum Rachel wants to find a solution.

0:23:470:23:51

What you going to do?

0:23:510:23:53

I don't know.

0:23:530:23:54

One minute you want me to have Lola, next minute you want her.

0:23:540:23:57

You need to make up your mind on what you're doing.

0:23:570:24:00

You're just more interested in going out, aren't you?

0:24:000:24:03

Yes.

0:24:030:24:04

'A lot's been going with Tonie.'

0:24:040:24:06

She decided she didn't want Lola and I was going to have Lola.

0:24:060:24:11

And then she's decided actually she doesn't want to lose Lola

0:24:110:24:14

so we've just got to find her somewhere to live.

0:24:140:24:20

Tonie is very much sticking her head in the sand at the moment,

0:24:200:24:24

thinking it's all going to go away.

0:24:240:24:27

Her easiest option is to sort her life out and stay at home

0:24:270:24:30

but she's just not willing to do that.

0:24:300:24:32

We need to sort something out pretty Goddamn quick.

0:24:320:24:36

I don't want you to be her mum.

0:24:360:24:38

You need to make a bit more of an effort at being a mother,

0:24:380:24:41

then, don't you, really?

0:24:410:24:42

Stop wanting to go out and be home at a sensible time.

0:24:420:24:47

Get your baby bathed and fed and get her bottles done

0:24:470:24:51

and do your washing and keep your bedroom tidy, go to school,

0:24:510:24:55

get an education and do things the right way, then, don't you?

0:24:550:24:58

She's not grown-up enough to look after someone else at the moment.

0:24:580:25:03

It's all just dawned on her that being a mother isn't that easy.

0:25:030:25:08

It's the day of the move, and Rachel is waiting to hear

0:25:130:25:16

where Tonie and Lola will be housed.

0:25:160:25:19

Well, I don't want my life disrupted by it, no, sorry.

0:25:190:25:22

It's not fair on me.

0:25:240:25:27

The social worker just rang me

0:25:270:25:28

and they're not happy to put Tonie in a bed and breakfast with Lola

0:25:280:25:32

so they want Lola to stay here with me

0:25:320:25:34

and Tonie go into a bed and breakfast

0:25:340:25:36

until they find her a supported housing unit.

0:25:360:25:39

Tonie is moving into a foster placement,

0:25:390:25:42

without Lola.

0:25:420:25:45

-Have you got your front door key?

-I think so, why?

0:25:450:25:48

-Cos I want it back.

-No.

0:25:480:25:50

-Er, yeah.

-No.

0:25:500:25:52

-Yes.

-No.

0:25:520:25:53

SHE SIGHS

0:25:550:25:56

I'm trying to make this work, Tonie.

0:26:000:26:03

And be sensible. Eh?

0:26:030:26:04

I don't want them to be old and if they're nasty,

0:26:040:26:06

I'm going to kick em in the head.

0:26:060:26:08

Don't bugger it up, Tonie,

0:26:080:26:10

or you'll bugger it up for yourself and Lola

0:26:100:26:12

and you'll end up losing her.

0:26:120:26:13

You need to think about it.

0:26:130:26:15

TONIE SOBS

0:26:270:26:29

It's only while you're here.

0:26:320:26:34

Once they find you somewhere...

0:26:340:26:36

RACHEL KISSES HER

0:26:400:26:41

I don't want to be here.

0:26:410:26:44

Well, this was your choice.

0:26:440:26:47

You shouldn't be such a little BLEEP, should ya? Eh?

0:26:470:26:51

You'll have her back soon.

0:26:530:26:55

LOLA CRIES

0:26:580:27:00

Grandad's not back yet.

0:27:270:27:29

Eh?

0:27:290:27:31

Next time, we meet best friends Sophie and Ashley.

0:27:460:27:51

When I was eight weeks pregnant,

0:27:510:27:54

she found out she was pregnant.

0:27:540:27:56

I was 13 when I first started having sex.

0:27:560:27:59

You just take it out on me all the time.

0:27:590:28:02

No, you just think everything is so easy.

0:28:020:28:03

How is everything easy?

0:28:030:28:05

# You've come so far

0:28:080:28:09

# Well done, darling We knew that you had it in you

0:28:090:28:14

# You can do anything that you want World is an oyster

0:28:140:28:19

# Don't disappoint us, ta

0:28:190:28:20

# You can stand on your own two feet... #

0:28:200:28:23

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:230:28:25

E-mail [email protected]

0:28:250:28:27

Rebellious teenager Tonie was forced to give up her life of partying and drinking when, at 15, she found out she was pregnant. Tonie vowed to be a good mum, stay in school and eventually get a job, but it all starts to fall apart only four weeks after the birth of her daughter, Lola. Missing her friends, Tonie starts to slip back into her old ways, much to the annoyance of mum Rachel who is often left holding the baby. Eventually Rachel gives Tonie an ultimatum - improve your behaviour or leave home. Will Tonie change her ways and take responsibility for her baby girl? Or will mum be forced to take drastic action?

Nervous young mum to be Bobbi is expecting a baby boy. She's petrified of stretch marks, the birth and whether she's ready to be a parent. Her older sister Naomi, mum to thee-year-old Ellie, is concerned too. She also fell pregnant at 15 and knows just how difficult it is. As we follow Bobbi from pregnancy to birth and motherhood, will she be able cope with the sleepless nights and nappy changes and finally become a proud parent?


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