Becky and Davita Underage and Pregnant


Becky and Davita

Becky has found it hard bonding with her baby Kenzie as he is a constant reminder of his father, who died aged just 16. Is pregnant Davita too reliant on her mum?


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Transcript


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Trying to be a teenager and a mum at the same time is pretty hard

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because I'm mostly in the house with Kenzie until it's bed time.

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I would like her to bond better with Kenzie, I really would.

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Becky still hankers after this "I want my old life back."

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-Have you got a kiss for Nana?

-No.

-No.

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You're tight with your kisses, aren't you?

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'Sixteen-year-old Becky is mum to fourteen month old, Kenzie.'

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'I was fifteen-years-old when I got pregnant.'

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I always planned to have my first baby when I was twenty three

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and when I found out I was pregnant I thought, "Oh, no, my life's over."

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No, you're not getting my cup of tea.

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'Becky and Kenzie live in Fife with her mum, Trish and ten-year-old brother, George.'

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Your Nana's spoilt boy. 'There was rumours going around that Becky may be pregnant.'

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Of course, I questioned Becky when she came in from school

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and she denied it.

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'She was determined that she was gonna get it out of me by asking me, "Do you want to tell me anything?"'

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"Is there anything important to tell me?" and I was like, "No."

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Eventually, after about half an hour she admitted it and I flew into a rage.

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The argument got so bad with the shouting at each other that she called the police.

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She wanted me lifted.

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This was Kenzie's... Well, my first scan.

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You can see his ribs and his head.

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'Being a mum is, is good but it's stressful as well.'

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It stops you from doing a lot of things that you, you used to do.

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'My life used to be like, fun.' Picture of Kenzie.

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'I didn't think about condoms or nothing. I was just having fun.'

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I thought I won't get pregnant so what's the point.

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'Becky was with her boyfriend for a month when she fell pregnant.'

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'I met Kenzie's dad and then we kinda just got together, got drunk'

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and stuff that teenagers do.

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But then, couple of weeks later, I found out I was pregnant.

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'Throughout her pregnancy and after the birth, the couple were on and off.

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'But before they'd had a chance to work things out, Kenzie's dad was gone from their lives.'

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'I have never met and, unfortunately, will never meet Kenzie's dad.'

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Unfortunately, he died last year.

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'Kenzie was seven months old when his sixteen year old dad died suddenly in his sleep.'

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'Four days before he passed away, he got me on my knees'

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and he cuddled me and he says, "I love you and tell Kenzie I love him too

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"and give him a cuddle and a kiss from me."

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'And that was the last time I seen or heard from him.'

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There's Kenzie's dad's Facebook. I've put "There's your wee boy.

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"He's getting a lot like you now. He can say 'daddy' now."

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And then I said, "Why, why, why did you have to go?

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"It wasn't your time, not now, not ever, I miss you loads now."

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'He was my first sexual partner so I felt him as special'

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and he's still special.

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'Losing Kenzie's dad so soon after the birth has had an impact on her relationship with her son.'

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Becky's attitude towards Kenzie at one stage was "Don't want you any more because your dad's not here

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"and I'm stuck with a reminder of him."

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Kenzie, pack it in!

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'There are days and there seems to be more and more of them

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'that Becky could quite easily live without Kenzie.'

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Kenzie!

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I try to help Becky bond with Kenzie by trying to leave them alone but that can be quite hard as well

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because she finds it very difficult to cope with him.

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'Fifteen-year-old Davita is expecting a baby girl in just four weeks.'

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I was fourteen when I got pregnant. At first, when I started getting a bump, I was quite embarrassed

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cos people was just taking it that I was a slag and I'd slept round

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with loads of people but the baby's dad was the first person I slept with and I only slept with him once.

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That was my twenty-one week scan when I found out what I was having.

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When I found out I was having a girl, I was happy.

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'I'm calling her Kayla.'

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'Davita lives in Morecambe with mum, Jackqui and older brother.'

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'Finding out your fourteen-year-old daughter is pregnant...

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'It's a huge thing to cope with. It's a huge thing.'

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First two weeks, I think I just cried my way through the first two weeks,

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I felt heartbroken, I just looked at her and every time I looked at her,

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I thought, she's only fourteen.

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'In a way it felt a bit like grieving. I'd lost my little girl.

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'Even now I look at Davita and I think it's a child within a child.'

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'In this difficult time, Jackqui has turned to her local church for support.'

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Going to church is an important part of our lives.

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It has been through my children's upbringing.

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'Davita was baptised when she was twelve

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'and she too finds comfort in the church.'

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Church has been quite a big support at times.

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If you're going through a sad stage, if you go to church then you can talk to people about it

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and just like, get all your emotions out and you feel much better.

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'I did ask our minister to announce that Davita was pregnant

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'in church so that everybody knew what was happening.

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'I feel that God is not going to condemn anybody'

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because you've made this decision to keep this baby or not keep this baby

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or even to have sex when you're not married.

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'It doesn't mean it's OK but we all make mistakes

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'and we have to live with them in the best way that we can.'

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The whole sex before marriage thing, it's not really brought up much in our church.

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It's people's decisions if they want to.

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'People don't go against you if you decide not to.'

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This is Davita's favourite meal at the moment.

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Often tend to do whatever it is that Davita wants.

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She is a bit spoilt.

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Davita, did you want to come and take these plates in then, please?

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'Davita is now spending most of her time at home with her mum.'

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'I miss being at school, for the fact that I don't get to see my friends as much.

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'Some days during the week I go to the children's centre.'

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But if I'm not doing anything then I just sit and watch telly.

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'I spend most of my time with my mum at the moment.'

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-You scared then?

-I'm not scared yet, no. I will be when my waters break.

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'As well as her mum, Davita sees one other friend regularly,

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fellow mum-to-be, seventeen-year-old Tara.

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I think I'm more excited but when it happens, I'll be like... Yeah, it's happening now.

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-Are you ever on your own?

-I don't like to be now, do I?

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No, I'm never too far away so I can be available at any time really.

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With Davita, she likes to know that I'm somewhere nearby

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that she can get in touch with me and that I can be there ASAP.

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As long as she knows Mum's somewhere nearby, she's OK.

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The biggest part of my life is my mum.

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'Before I got pregnant, me and my mum were close but not as close as we are now.

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'We do everything together and I tell her absolutely everything.'

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'In Fife, sixteen-year-old Becky is having problems adapting to life with a fourteen month old child.'

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-Are you helping?

-If you want me to.

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Come on then. His jammy's are through here.

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Without my mum, I probably wouldn't be able to survive

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as she helps me with everything.

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You taking your shirt off?

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'I prefer her to help me cos that way I don't get stressed and angry.'

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Where's Mum? Has she disappeared at the crucial point again?

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And gets Nana to do it.

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'I remember her coming through to my room one morning, throwing him on the bed saying, "You deal with him,

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'"I can't do this." He was less than two weeks old.'

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What are you wanting for your tea, George?

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'I feel like a mum to all three of them'

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because Becky's always saying, "Oh, Mum, will you do that with him and get him out of my hair."

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It's just like I'm separating siblings rather than a mother and her son.

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-Do you want to feed him?

-He's your boy. You feed him.

-I know.

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'She's just realising that he's here for the rest of her life and his life.'

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-You happy?

-No.

-What do you mean, "No"? Night, night, Kenzie.

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'I love this time of the night when Kenzie's in his bed.'

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It's my time of the night. I can't wait till it comes

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cos then we both get out rest and get peace and quiet from each other.

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'I can do what I want.' Night, Kenzie.

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-Mum.

-Yeah, two minutes.

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'Becky goes to college one afternoon a week.

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'The rest of the time she is either at home or helping her mum at work.'

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I have a small cleaning business and Becky comes with me

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on days that are usually quite busy.

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Bye, Kenzie, two minutes.

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I go to work with my mum when I can be bothered

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but half the time, she drags me out my bed because she doesn't want me on the couch all day.

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'So that Becky doesn't feel too overwhelmed, Kenzie goes to a child minder five days a week,

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paid for with tax credits and topped up by Trisha.'

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'She gets paid for him if he's there or not so it's wasting the money if he's not down there.'

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-Would you like to have Kenzie during the day?

-No, I like my peace and quiet.

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'During the week she doesn't really have Kenzie very much

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'because she can't handle Kenzie very well on her own.'

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Kenzie would do her head in by the end of the week.

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'Over the past year, Becky has suffered from depression on and off.

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'Mum, Trisha wants to make sure she doesn't go down that path again.'

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We have to get you sorted because once you're sorted,

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you might be a little bit happier about yourself.

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-You end up shouting at Kenzie and shouting at me and...

-No, I don't.

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If you had something to look forward to and to focus on, you might be a lot happier.

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-No?

-No.

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I'm not having you sitting on the settee doing absolutely nothing, all day, watching the telly.

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-You had big ideas when you were younger.

-Aye, working in a pub in Spain.

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You wanted to run your own bar. That's quite an ambition.

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-If you can't...

-I want to be a midwife. I want to see it from the other end.

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If you want to be a midwife, great.

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'Becky missed her GCSEs because of her pregnancy

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'and has to do a catch up class before she can move on.'

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I'm feeling stressed, sad, angry. It's really, really boring

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and it's like you've learnt that thing in high school

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and then you go up to the college and it's like, "I've already learnt that."

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And they're like, "Well, you have to learn it again."

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I want to get stuck in to midwifery.

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I want to be able to wake up in the morning and think, "Right, college today."

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I just want to see you happy.

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'Back in Morecambe, fifteen-year-old Davita is 37 weeks pregnant

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and going to see her midwife.

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Thank you. What are mums for, Davita?!

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'The father of Davita's baby is not around

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so mum, Jackqui goes with her to all her antenatal appointments.

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Just have a check. Ooo, that head is well fixed down. The baby is in the right position

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for you to go into labour. That's brilliant, good.

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'Me and the baby's dad don't talk at all any more.

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'I didn't really know him at all when we first got together.'

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It was just that I wanted a boyfriend and he liked me, so...!

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It can happen any time now, can't it?!

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Who are you going to have with you when you go into labour?

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-My mum.

-OK.

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'It was upsetting knowing the baby's not going to have her dad around her.'

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and knowing that my first child isn't going to be a proper family.

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Put in fresh toilet rolls. They all seem to have been used up this week.

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'Davita has a Saturday cleaning job at the church

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'but is finding it hard now that she is so pregnant.'

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I've been having problems with walking and stuff.

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My mum does literally everything for me.

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I think I'm a bit of a soft mum at times.

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Because she is the youngest, there isn't anybody else to take my attention,

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so she gets all the attention at the moment mostly.

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'Sometimes things feel a bit much and you feel like everything bogs you down.'

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But then you've got to get up again and just get back in there.

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-So, what are we going to do next?

-I'm knackered!

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'As well as doing Davita's job, Jackqui has two jobs of her own to make ends meet.'

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I'm a school travel assistant which I enjoy doing

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and then I also do paper deliveries. I just seem to have a very busy life

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and it won't be long before it's going to get busier again

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with baby around, so we'll just carry on, deal with things and get on with it.

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Dada, Dada!

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No, Dada's not here. Come here, come here.

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'In Scotland, 16-year-old mum Becky has been single since her baby's dad died eight months ago

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'and is finding Kenzie a constant reminder of her ex.'

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'Sometimes, he shouts "Dad" as he's walking up the stairs. He does it all the time.

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'He'll just randomly come up with "Dad!"'

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And it's like, "No, Kenzie, Dad's not here no more. He's singing with angels."

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And he just looks at me like I'm confused.

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-He's the Irn Bru man!

-No, that's how you've got orange hair.

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'Today, Trisha's car has broken down so they can't go to work or college

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'and Kenzie can't go to the child minder so they're all stuck at home.'

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Becky, Kenzie's just going to stay here today.

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Oh, no he's not. Why is he staying here?

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'By nine o'clock, Becky wants to get out of the house.'

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-Can I walk George to school?

-Yeah, you can walk George to school if you want.

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-Right, won't be long, bye!

-Bye.

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I don't normally take George to school but I'm quite enjoying my day

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-because I need out the house. Right, bye.

-Bye.

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I'm in the house all the time. It's boring. There's nothing to do in the house.

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'When I lost Kenzie's dad, I wouldn't go near Kenzie, pick him up, bath him,

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'I wouldn't do anything. I was mostly depressed'

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because I didn't have a dad figure for Kenzie.

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In. Get in, now!

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'I was scared that I'd be a single parent and I am a single parent.'

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I said, "No!"

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'I'd like to have somebody to love me as well as my son.

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'I want there to be three of us.'

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-My own little time with him was great.

-You can do it more often then!

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I cannae because I'm always working.

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'I worry about them, constantly.'

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I worry about her attitude towards him sometimes.

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There's quite a lot of resentment there or what appears to be resentment.

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'She doesn't want to be burdened with him.

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'It's quite easy for her to walk away in the house.'

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I think it's going to be tea and bath and bed for you.

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Is that why mum went out?

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MUSIC: "Where Is The Love" by Black Eyed Peas

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-Oh my, God! Mum?

-What?

-Listen to this!

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'The next morning, things are looking up for Becky.'

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-Are you happy now?

-Yeah!

-That's all right then.

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'She's just got a text from a boy she met recently.'

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'Yeah, I'm going on a date. It's the first proper date since Kenzie's been born.'

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I'd love Kenzie to have... like, not a step-dad but a dad figure...

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Somebody to look up to and just feel like he's going to be there.

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I think we're going to be happy.

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'In Morecambe, fifteen-year-old Davita is about to become a mum.'

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Yeah, it's hot and it is really uncomfortable.

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'It hasn't been an easy start to her labour.'

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I've been here about eighteen hours. I'm only two days over my due date

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but because I've got high blood pressure and protein they've had to induce me.

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'In the absence of a boyfriend, Jackqui is the natural stand in.'

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It is a bit strange because I'm her mother, I'm baby's grandma,

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I'm also her partner. I'm a bit of everything really!

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But it's lovely to be going through all this with her. To be able to be there for her.

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Right, do we want to close this curtain off then?

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'The birth isn't moving along as quickly as the doctors would like

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'so she is given a second induction pill internally.'

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-NURSE:

-I just need you to relax your bottom down.

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-NURSE:

-It's important to relax It makes it easier and gets it over with.

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-NURSE:

-Big, deep breaths. Keep breathing, like that.

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-NURSE:

-..behind the baby's head.

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-NURSE:

-It's done.

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'Davita has been at the hospital for twenty seven hours

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'and finally, her contractions have started.'

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It hurts a lot and I'm tired.

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'She's having strong contractions and very close together.'

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So they're going to break her waters which is going to

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be a big thing for her but it means we're getting in the final stages

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and she'll soon have her own little baby and this will all be over, won't it?

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I'm feeling very emotional at the moment

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and I'm feeling very proud of her.

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She's fantastic. Aren't you?

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-NURSE:

-'We're going to start to push now. She's wanting to push.'

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So we'll soon have a baby for you to see!

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BABY WAILS

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Seven pounds twelve.

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'An hour after her contractions start, she gives birth to a healthy little girl.

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This is Kayla-Marie and she arrived at four minutes past eleven.

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-Have you got the monitor on?

-No.

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'In Scotland, a month has gone by and Becky is still single after her date fell through.'

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-So, what are you up to tonight then, Mrs? Are you going out anywhere?

-No.

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Mum, Trisha is trying to lift Becky's spirits and help her bond with Kenzie

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but at the moment she's refusing to take him out of the house on her own.

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It must be boring for Kenzie being here every weekend.

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You know, it's the same boring routine for him as well as for you.

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-There's nothing to do.

-You've got that Playzone card, it gives you somewhere to go.

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Other than that, head towards the beach for the day.

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The beach is full of stones and litter.

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-What about further along?

-Big rocks.

-Is it?

0:19:500:19:53

-You don't fancy the mother and baby group up at the church?

-No way.

0:19:530:19:57

-Do you know anyone that's been?

-That other lass that goes to college.

0:19:570:20:00

She went and she said that they're all in their thirties.

0:20:000:20:04

-Do they not talk to her?

-No.

0:20:040:20:07

'Becky's always had an excuse for things and they weren't reasonable excuses.'

0:20:070:20:13

I just want her to go and do things with Kenzie and be a mum.

0:20:130:20:18

I think it's mainly confidence issues with Becky. She's hit rock bottom.

0:20:180:20:24

You want to go to the park or something for a wee while with him?

0:20:290:20:32

'The next day Becky and mum are back from work.

0:20:320:20:35

'Trisha persuades Becky to get out of the house with Kenzie.'

0:20:350:20:38

I'm going to have to go out, aren't I?

0:20:380:20:40

Kenzie, are we going down there to throw some stones at the water?

0:20:420:20:48

BABY CRIES

0:20:480:20:52

'I don't mind taking Kenzie out on my own,

0:20:540:20:57

'I just prefer company because it's just pushing a pram.

0:20:570:21:00

'Kenzie doesn't talk much and if he has a feed before he goes out,

0:21:000:21:04

'he'll sleep in his pram and it's like I'm talking to myself.'

0:21:040:21:08

Mum, are you bringing him up? Mum?!

0:21:130:21:16

I'll just come down myself!

0:21:160:21:18

'After a stressful twenty minutes, Becky and Kenzie are back at home.'

0:21:180:21:22

-Give me that.

-Do you need a hand?

0:21:220:21:25

BABY CRIES

0:21:250:21:27

-No, Kenzie!

-Are you all right?

-Yes.

0:21:270:21:31

-What's wrong?

-Well, I'm kind of tired myself, Mum.

0:21:310:21:35

Yeah, well, everybody is, Becky! It's what it's like being a mum.

0:21:350:21:39

-It's not that. He should have been in his bed ages ago!

-Well, it won't do him any harm.

0:21:390:21:44

'It should have been an enjoyable evening and it was nothing like that.

0:21:450:21:48

'She just came back in a bad mood, slapping and banging around,

0:21:480:21:51

'getting Kenzie away and out of her sight as quickly as possible.'

0:21:510:21:55

Can I go and have a fag?

0:21:550:21:58

'I feel like I need a break from everything.'

0:21:580:22:02

The house and my family and Kenzie.

0:22:020:22:05

Night, night, wee man.

0:22:050:22:10

-Are you just grumpy because you're tired.

-No, I'm bored.

-But you were out?

0:22:100:22:15

Aye, I know but what am I meant to do for the rest of the night?

0:22:150:22:18

-There's nothing stopping you going out.

-With who?

0:22:180:22:21

-All my pals don't want to know me no more!

-And why don't they want to know you?

0:22:210:22:25

-Cos I've got a bairn.

-You knew that people would walk away but they're not your true friends.

0:22:250:22:30

Aye, well, they've all walked away so...

0:22:300:22:32

You feel that you've been abandoned because you've had Kenzie but it's not his fault.

0:22:320:22:38

It's the same with guys though. Every time I meet a new guy I have to tell them that I've got a bairn.

0:22:380:22:45

-You don't have to tell them.

-They're going to find out, aren't they?!

0:22:450:22:49

"Why have you got a cot in your bedroom?"

0:22:490:22:51

"Why have you got a bairn in your bedroom?" "Oh, that's mine." There's nothing I can do.

0:22:510:22:56

I'm not going to keep on at you, Becky because I can see you're tired and you're upset about something.

0:22:560:23:01

I'm not upset about anything.

0:23:010:23:03

'Davita's baby, Kayla is now eight weeks old

0:23:140:23:17

'and the fifteen-year-old mum is settling in to her new life.

0:23:170:23:21

'She's feeling confident enough to be out and about with her baby

0:23:230:23:27

'and is meeting up with fellow teen mums, Tara and Maureen.'

0:23:270:23:30

-Look at his hair now!

-I know! He's got loads.

0:23:300:23:33

We were together just about all the time during pregnancy.

0:23:350:23:39

If I wasn't actually there, I was somewhere very nearby.

0:23:390:23:42

'It just felt like she was totally dependent on me

0:23:420:23:45

'and as much as I love her it was putting a lot of strain on me.'

0:23:450:23:48

-How do you explain labour?

-I describe it as a bowling ball coming out your bum!

0:23:480:23:54

'The relationship with my mum is still close but I like to do my own thing'

0:23:540:24:00

and I feel a lot more independent now.

0:24:000:24:02

Having a baby is a lot harder than I thought it would be,

0:24:020:24:06

I find it hard breastfeeding because I can't ask someone else to feed her if I'm really tired.

0:24:060:24:12

-It is nice having a bond with her though.

-Yeah.

0:24:120:24:15

'Her attitude towards everything is a lot more grown-up.

0:24:150:24:19

'She is much more confident now.'

0:24:190:24:21

The next stage is for her to get back to school.

0:24:210:24:24

She really wants to be able to do her GCSE's.

0:24:240:24:27

She wants to be able to do as best as she can. She's just fantastic.

0:24:270:24:31

-But you have to think of things from a different view, don't you?

-Yeah.

0:24:310:24:35

'I do believe that God is there. That he does help guide us'

0:24:350:24:37

through things, to give us the strength to cope with things

0:24:370:24:40

and sometimes, you need strength to get through life.

0:24:400:24:43

'I think I have been given a lot of strength to cope with everything.'

0:24:430:24:47

'Now she's here, I wouldn't change her for the world.'

0:24:470:24:51

But if I could have gone back and waited a couple of years, I would of because it's hard.

0:24:510:24:55

'You don't actually understand how hard it is until they're here.'

0:24:550:25:00

I am so proud of them, it makes me feel quite emotional.

0:25:000:25:04

'I just think she's been amazing throughout everything.'

0:25:040:25:08

'Up in Scotland, there have been some big changes for Becky.'

0:25:150:25:18

Hey, Kenzie, are you going to the shop?

0:25:180:25:22

'Four weeks ago, she met seventeen-year-old Sean on the internet

0:25:220:25:25

'and he's already moved in.'

0:25:250:25:28

We were only mates but we've decided just to take it a little bit further.

0:25:280:25:32

'Sean's living here because he got kicked out and he needed a place to stay.

0:25:320:25:37

'It's been about three weeks now.

0:25:370:25:40

'The first time I saw him I thought he was the one.'

0:25:400:25:42

And then, weeks later, he was mine. I was like, "Is this a dream?"

0:25:420:25:46

-Cheers, Becky.

-Cheers.

0:25:460:25:50

'Becky seems happier now that she's got someone in her life. A boyfriend.'

0:25:500:25:54

Aw, you're disgusting!

0:25:540:25:56

He keeps her spirits up when she goes a wee bit down.

0:25:560:25:59

'Becky has recently knuckled down at college and is even making concrete plans for her future.'

0:26:000:26:07

Trisha has recently got onto the midwifery course at college.

0:26:070:26:10

It's only for an extra day per week but gradually will build up and kick off her nursing career.

0:26:100:26:17

'Becky's career plans and new love life have had a knock-on effect to her and Kenzie's relationship.'

0:26:220:26:30

Sean likes Kenzie and it's like two things together and it's just great fun.

0:26:380:26:42

'She has been out more with Kenzie.'

0:26:420:26:46

Sean likes to be out and about and he's often said, "Come on, Becky, let's go."

0:26:460:26:51

And they have. And they maybe haven't been out for very long but it's a start.

0:26:510:26:56

'Before my mum used to help me a lot with Kenzie.'

0:26:570:27:00

Now it's like she make his tea and I put him in the bath and feed him

0:27:000:27:05

and put him to bed. I do all of that now.

0:27:050:27:08

'I still get worried about Becky and Kenzie.'

0:27:080:27:11

But I can see they're getting stronger together as a mum and a son.

0:27:110:27:14

'Me and Kenzie have got our own love together.

0:27:160:27:19

'It feels great cos if you didnae have a boyfriend you go to sleep'

0:27:190:27:24

thinking that there is somebody loves you and you love them back.

0:27:240:27:29

'I used to cry myself to sleep, but now that I've got Sean in the bed with me'

0:27:290:27:35

and Kenzie's at the bottom of the room, I go to sleep happy.

0:27:350:27:39

And I dream about happy things instead of sad, scary things now. I just feel happy.

0:27:390:27:47

Pink baby Adidas trainers.

0:27:490:27:53

'Next time, we meet Abbey from Hampshire.

0:27:530:27:56

It does me sound like I was shagging about but I wasn't. I was just trying to get back at this boy.

0:27:560:28:01

Abbey wasn't sure who the father of the baby was. It's any mother's nightmare.

0:28:010:28:07

I can't cope. I can't physically cope, Mum!

0:28:090:28:12

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:250:28:27

Email: [email protected]

0:28:270:28:29

Sixteen-year-old Becky is mum to fourteen-month old Kenzie and has been finding life tough since falling pregnant. Tragically, when Kenzie was just seven months old, his sixteen-year-old dad died suddenly and a result Becky has found it difficult bonding with Kenzie as he is a constant reminder of his late father. Becky struggles to look after Kenzie by herself, feels alienated from her friends and, with little social life, her dreams of meeting a new man seem remote. Can her mum Trish persuade Becky to get out more? Will she find love and a father figure for Kenzie? Davita got pregnant at fourteen. Her church-going mum Jackie was devastated and cried for a week when she found out. With no choice but to accept the situation, Jackie works hard to support her daughter. Now fifteen, Davita is twenty seven weeks pregnant - but is she too reliant on mum Jackie? Will she be able to look after and cope with the responsisbility of a baby when it comes?


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