Mexico Feasts

I'm Stefan Gates.

I'm on a journey to immerse myself

in some of the most extraordinary feasts and festivals on earth.

From the palaces of Rajasthan to the graveyards of Mexico,

and the ancient temples of Japan,

I'm hoping that by joining in these mass celebrations

I'll be able to conquer my inhibitions and get under the skin

of people and cultures around the world.

I've just landed in the biggest city in the world,

Mexico City, home to 18 million souls.

But the most striking thing about this place isn't its size.

It's built on the ruins of an ancient Aztec city.

Today, Mexican blood is a mix of the old world and the new.

The Aztecs and the Spanish Conquistadors.

But once a year, these wildly different cultures

combine in one spectacular celebration.

I've come to Mexico City and it's a frenzy of activity here,

because in just under a week they'll be celebrating

one of the world's most extraordinary festivals,

Dia de los Muertos, the Mexican Day of the Dead.

Death is everywhere in Mexico.

The Aztecs thought that death was the true state of being.

Today, Mexicans believe the spirit of their ancestors

visit them for three days.

Day of the Dead is now one of the biggest feasts of the year.

Everywhere I go there are symbols of the dead.

Some of them with surprising additions.

It's got a bottle of Corona!

Slightly macabre.

For me, death is something that's never really talked about.

I want to find out if bringing it out in the open

changes the way I feel.

I've been told to bring mementos of my own dead relatives,

although I have no idea what I've let myself in for.

Thankfully, Day of the Dead is still a week away.

While I prepare myself for the spiritual onslaught,

I want to understand more about Mexico

by joining in a very different celebration.

# Oye mamacita... #

I'm about to go to a Quince Anos,

a 15-year-old girl's coming-of-age birthday bash.

Like Day of the Dead,

a Quince Anos is a fusion of Aztec culture and Spanish Catholicism.

Back in 16th-century Spain, turning 15 was the critical moment

where a girl had to decide whether to give herself up to God,

and become a nun, or get married.

Today, the girls still have a crucial decision to make

ahead of turning 15, but the big dilemma now,

is what to wear for their big party.

It's a whole district dedicated to clothes for Quinceaneras

and baptisms and all the bits and pieces, the bouquets,

and the plastic flowers and things you might need.

Terrifying for a bloke and for a father

that girls want this kind of stuff.

But the whole area is full of these wide-eyed girls

full of their hopes and dreams that one day

they're going to look like this.

The coming-of-age ceremony

was around well before the Spanish conquered Mexico 500 years ago.

The Aztecs had many of their own religious and spiritual traditions,

and one of them was a ceremony preparing girls for life as an adult.

The older women would give them all the advice necessary

to make the transition into womanhood.

It's the combination of Aztec and Spanish traditions

that are the foundations of the modern day Quince Anos.

As a dad of two little girls myself, I want to learn why families here

are prepared to go to crippling lengths to give their daughters

the biggest party of their lives.

I go to meet the Aguilera's, an upper-middle class family

in the north of the city.

-Hola!

-Como estas? Estamos esperando.

Sergio is an insurance broker,

I guess you'd call him a thoroughly modern Mexican.

So is this Karla? Hey, Karla. I'm Stefan.

Good to meet you.

In just three days he and his wife, Luz are throwing a Quince Anos

for their only daughter Karla.

-Hi.

-Hola, I'm Stefan. Hi there.

That's quite an impressive stack of presents, isn't it?

You can't open it yet, can you? Is that allowed?

-Yes!

-Really?!

Wow! It's pink!

I love pink. It's my favourite colour.

My brother, my Mum and my Dad, but 20 years ago.

In Luz's day, a Quince Anos was a small party,

attended by close family and friends.

But for Karla things will be different.

She was little here.

Wow! She looks like a little doll there.

-She liked pink then, as well?

-Yes.

In the traditional Catholic celebration,

the coming-of-age girl, or Quinceanera,

would wear a white dress, showing her purity.

Any other colour would be an outrage.

But Karla is a thoroughly modern girl.

-What's this? Karla?

-Karla?

-Er, it's my dress.

-That's the dress?

-Yes.

-Wow! Look at that. That's a lot of material.

It is.

So who chose this? Did you chose it?

Or did mum?

Which one?

-A-ha. It's a very princess dress, isn't it?

-Yes.

For Karla, the party might be about wearing a big dress

and getting lots of presents.

But for her father, Sergio it means much, much more.

She looks lovely in it.

I was amazed because she looks so different.

How do you feel when you see her wearing the dress?

-Kind of awkward.

-Why?

Because I think of her like my tiny girl, still.

And I find it kind of hard for her changing the way of life and...

-To see her as a woman?

-Oh, yes.

It is kind of hard for a father to do that.

The idea of that with my daughters terrifies me.

With two nights to go before the big event,

Sergio invites me to another traditional Mexican celebration,

one that's as far removed from the purity of a Quince Anos

as it's possible to get.

Mexican wrestling is one of the most popular sports in the country.

Every week, millions of viewers tune in to watch masked opponents

battling it out in the time-honoured tradition of good verses evil...

..with chicks in bikinis and the odd dwarf thrown into the mix.

Between fights I get a chance to chat to Sergio, mano-a-mano,

about what it's like losing his daughter to womanhood.

I'm wondering what you're feeling like?

You're spending a lot of money. How much will this cost you?

Like £9,000. That's a lot of money.

-That's a HUGE amount of money.

-Yes, it's like buying a new car.

-A mid-sized new car.

-That must be a large proportion of your earnings.

Oh, yes, it is. We have to save a long time for this.

Would you have preferred a cheaper venue? Or cheaper food?

How much could I have saved with a cheaper party?

If she wasn't happy, it was not worth it, at all.

Which bit of the party are you most looking forward to yourself?

OK. A waltz.

And the waltz is like...

just being she and me alone for a moment.

I expect it to be magic.

Whilst you can't put a price on magic,

I'll just mention the waltz is costing Sergio

twice the average Mexican salary.

One of those costs is a private dance instructor.

The dance is the moment when Sergio will present

Karla as a woman to society...

and he's leaving nothing to chance.

Traditionally, the Quinceanera would have a single male escort

to accompany her for the evening. But like many modern girls,

Karla has roped in four

to try to make her big night the talk of the school.

So, how long have they been rehearsing this for?

From August.

From August, so three months?

Just on Sundays. Two hours.

Just Sundays, two hours. That's all!

-I'm...stressed.

-You're stressed out?

-You're stressed anyway!

-Yes.

-This really doesn't help, then?

-No.

It's not just Sergio coughing up cash, though.

All of the guests, including me, are expected to honour the event

with a gift, and Karla has a gift list.

It's to be found at Mexico City's poshest department store,

the oddly named, "Liverpool."

Hola.

Hola.

Mucho gusto.

I feel thoroughly out of my depth shopping for a 15-year-old girl,

so Luz Ester, head of the Gift List department,

has offered to help me pick out the perfect present.

-Do most girls get everything they ask for?

-Yeah.

-Really?!

-Yeah.

And what's the most expensive thing on the whole list?

Is it this DKNY coat? Yeah.

The designer coat costs £170.

That's more than the average weekly wage in Mexico.

That's quite sophisticated, isn't it? For a 15-year-old? Yeah.

I think we'll put that one back because it's a bit too much for me.

-OK.

-So what else can we have a look at?

The history books make no reference to DKNY

during the Aztec coming-of-age ceremonies.

Not something I feel able to bring up

as Luz skilfully guides me towards the handbag department.

I generally close down when anybody mentions handbags,

my mind just shuts off, so I need all the help that you can give me.

That's quite a tame one. Aahh, with an extra little gorilla motif.

That's really sweet, actually. I can imagine giving that to my daughters

when they're 15. So I might buy that.

It might be one of the cheapest presents on the list,

but I can hold my head up high.

I feel I'm now fully equipped to participate

in this ancient tradition.

9am - the morning of the party.

I'm checking in on Luz to see how she's doing.

Oh, look at you!

-Are you very stressed out?

-Yes.

-So what is this? A...

-Cold sore.

-Cold sore.

-And is that because you're very nervous?

-Yes.

Do you always get them when you're nervous?

Yes, I do, but this time it's worse than ever.

Will you be all right by later do you think?

Well, I hope so. I'm going to buy some medicine.

There's clearly a huge amount at stake.

We head off to the beauty salon to see if they can help.

I think it's a physical expression of your love for your daughter.

-How about that?

-Well, yes, but, you know, I don't like it.

-You'll be gorgeous by tonight.

-I hope so.

Luz isn't the only one feeling the heat. Karla has her own anxieties.

Luz tells me that she's found it tough fitting in

with her peers at school, but she's invited lots of them anyway.

This could be her moment to lose her geeky image, to finally become cool.

It's a risky strategy.

Her popularity at school all depends on the success of tonight.

Back at the house, the relatives are gathering.

The beauty salon tried their best to cover up Luz's cold sores.

She's still devastated, but she puts on a brave face.

The biggest night in Karla's life has finally arrived.

Just like in a fairytale, Karla's carriage awaits.

But first stop, the church.

We've finally got everyone out of the house and we're on our way,

the trouble is it's already 7:37.

The service started about seven minutes ago theoretically,

and everyone that was in the house is way behind,

they're all stuck in a traffic jam trying to get out of the street.

So I hope that Mexican church time's a little bit flexible.

MUSIC: "Land Of Hope And Glory"

But a few more minutes isn't a problem.

To the rather surprising tune of Land Of Hope And Glory,

Karla walks down the aisle on her way to becoming a woman.

In the original Catholic ceremony, this was the time

when a girl would have to decide whether to become a nun

or get married.

And just like that, Karla takes her first steps as a woman.

After the ceremony,

I ask Karla's priest what he makes of the modern day Quince Anos.

But the mass consumption is only just beginning.

The family has thrown a fortune into making the party

seem as extravagant and as cool as possible.

But for Sergio, tonight isn't about the cost.

It's about a last dance with his daughter as a little girl,

and his first dance with her as a woman.

APPLAUSE

Quinceanera's traditionally perform at least two dances -

a waltz and then a more modern dance.

It's all been very innocent, so what comes next is a bit of a surprise.

CHA CHA MUSIC PLAYS

RAPTUROUS CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

CROWD CHANT

Wow! That was quite an extraordinary difference between

the big Quince Anos dress and the young woman dress.

I was quite shocked at that.

SALSA MUSIC PLAYS

It's been a huge emotional, as well as financial strain,

for Sergio and Luz.

But now they can finally let their hair down.

You're coming with me.

-But I don't know how to dance!

-Excellent! I don't know either.

I think a little spin around, how about that? Yeah!

It might all seem materialistic,

but at the heart of the Quince Anos is a critical moment in life.

By embracing puberty, it transforms a difficult part

of growing up into a celebration.

For Karla, I'm just hoping it'll be a success.

As the clock approaches midnight, the signs are looking good.

It's the morning after the big party and I'm hitting the road.

I'm heading south to rural Oaxaca.

I'm looking forward to immersing myself in the Day of the Dead.

Do the dead really return to earth?

And if so, can I actually meet my own dead relatives?

But I'd been told that I first need to get familiar with mescal,

the liquor that drives the Day of the Dead ceremonies.

Which is why I find myself in a large field with Mario.

So how old are these plants?

-So this one's ready to go is it?

-Yeah.

Mario makes mescal.

It's similar to tequila, it's brewed from agave plants.

It's the drink used to toast the spirits of your ancestors

as they make their annual return back to earth.

So do you not need the leaves themselves, is it just the trunk?

Only that, yeah.

Mescal isn't only used to welcome back the dead.

In Oaxaca, they'll find pretty much any reason to open a bottle.

Is it a good life being a mescal farmer?

Ten litres.

The locals have been making mescal in this region for over 2,000 years.

Wow! Look at that.

It does look like a pineapple.

It was the Aztec version of a cup of tea, though slightly stronger.

The core of the plant is baked in a hole in the ground

to caramelize the sugars and intensify the flavours.

Then it's crushed and like everything on Mario's farm,

it's not exactly a hi tech process.

It's just breaking it all down,

and so it's turning it into a mash.

OK, I want to see how hard the horse is working.

HE GROANS WITH EXERTION

To heavy?

STEFAN LAUGHS

I help you?

-Go on then. OK, are you ready?

-Yeah.

Blimey!

Once the plant is crushed,

it's left to ferment and then it's cooked again.

And that liquid is pure mescal.

So it goes through into here and cools down,

and is that it coming through there now?

So this is fresh mescal, straight from the still.

-I've never tried this before.

-Natural, yeah.

Hoo!

Ooh, I thought it was going to give me a really painful hit,

-but it's really clean, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Wow! And then it really warms you up inside!

One thing that's slightly worrying is that my lips have gone numb.

Is that normal?

That's a good thing, is it?

Purely for the purposes of research,

Mario insists I try his different blends.

It turns out he has quite a range.

OK. Salud!

That really gets you deep down, doesn't it?

Salud!

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

I can feel my brain contracting in my head.

-Salud!

-Salud!

Wow!

How strong is that?

Salud! Nice one.

Oh, God!

I need a little lullaby to send me to sleep, please.

Feeling slightly fuzzy-headed, I finally reach Oaxaca.

Unlike Mexico City,

the influence here is much more Aztec than Spanish.

The Aztecs always celebrated death.

"Life," they said, "is just a dream.

"Only in death are we truly awake."

If there's ever a place where I'll see spirits coming back to earth,

this is going to be it.

Today's Day of the Dead is a three-day festival

mixing the ancient Aztec traditions with the Catholic All Saints Day.

It's very different from the way I'd grown up to think about death,

which is, well... not to think about it at all.

I wonder if celebrating something I prefer to avoid

will make it easier to deal with.

-Catalina?

-Bienvenidos.

Thank you very much for letting me come and visit you.

Look at this place, it's beautiful!

I've been invited to spend the festival

with Catalina and her family.

Is this the virgin of Guadalupe?

This is extraordinary. What is this room?

And this is all your family?

Is that you? Oh, wow!

You had big cheeks then!

THEY LAUGH

Wow! That's the way to have a kitchen.

Catalina's mum, Guadalupe,

is busy cooking for the Day of the Dead feast.

Who does all the cooking for Day of the Dead?

Is it your mother or is it you?

So has all the really tough work been done or have you got me here

to do all the hard work?

Excellent!

Catalina's father, Andres, comes home from work early

to help with the preparations.

I love your hat!

It's very cool? Have you just come in from work?

Si.

You've got to give your wife a kiss when you come home.

Thank you very much for letting me come and join you.

I've been wondering whether they really believe

the dead are coming back,

or if the whole thing is mainly an excuse for a big party.

So is everyone looking forward to the Day of the Dead?

It's a huge jump for me as I've never experienced this before.

Is there anything I can do to prepare myself,

to get myself ready, to try and...sense, erm,

some of my family that's passed away?

Catalina's not the only one who thinks the dead are returning.

Whilst in Britain we tend to associate death with misery,

here in Oaxaca, they have a very different outlook.

MUSIC: "La Vida Es Un Carnaval" by Celia Crux

Every night during the festivities, huge parades take place in the city.

Here, life is turned upside down.

Locals dress up as skeletons, men dress as women,

and parties are thrown in graveyards to welcome death.

I meet up with Jorge who helps to organise the festivities.

We're celebrating the Day of the Dead,

but, I think, it's more for the Day of the Lives,

because we're going to have a great party tonight!

Day of the Dead seems to be a chance to laugh at death,

and show you're not afraid.

-Sit down.

-OK.

I really need to throw my heart and soul into the festivities

if I'm going to understand what they're all about.

We meet up with Virginia who's keen to dress us up.

There's just one problem...

the costume Virginia brought for me is meant for a woman.

Is it a bit short on me?

I don't mind being a girl, but I don't want to be a tart.

Oh, gosh! It's a bit small.

It doesn't fit.

If we squeeze me in.

Aah! That's made it! That's made it.

Virginia dresses me up as Catrina,

Day of the Dead's most famous character.

She represents a rich old lady,

a reminder that even money can't keep us from death.

Jorge's also a Catrina, but of a slightly different proportion.

The thing is, what happens if I lose you in the crowd?

No-one here seems to think it's bizarre to get dressed up

like a dead granny and I have to admit, it's strangely liberating.

CHEERING

Our plan is to blend in, but we end up leading the procession.

Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!

I'm not any closer to understanding the true meaning

behind Day of the Dead,

but this soon feels like the most normal thing in the world.

BRASS BAND CONTINUES TO PLAY

The next morning, I find myself in Oaxaca's largest graveyard.

I've come to meet Nora, a local historian,

who wants me to meet her relatives.

-So where are we taking these to?

-We're going to see grandmother.

Actually the space was first for grandfather.

Grandmother died like, three years ago.

So what we're doing is we're going to bring some flowers to her tomb.

There is the tomb.

This one here?

-Right here.

-Wow! It's a whole house!

Yeah! It's big, no?

My grandfather and my grandmother is here,

and you see the pictures right there.

We really believe that grandmother and grandfather and all the people

who pass away, pass away and you love it. They coming back.

So they're actually physically coming back...

-The spirit is what is coming back.

-The spirit's coming, OK.

The spirit is what is coming back

and that's why we try to prepare all the good food.

You know they love to eat in that time.

You know Oaxaca people doesn't have money for a lot of things,

but for food and for flowers and for the celebrations,

-it's just, you know, unique.

-You'll always find some money for...

You're always gonna find money for that.

Tell me about your grandfather and grandmother. What were they like?

Grandmother was really young, compared with him.

-She looks very pretty.

-She was.

She was and she still is probably really pretty.

I can't say physical, but I can feel.

You keep saying these things that make...

I can't quite get my head around, "She's still really pretty."

I've got to get into your mindset here, I think.

When your grandparents come back,

do you think they might argue with each other when they're back?

Like maybe they did when they were alive?

You know, Grandmother used to say

that Grandfather was always having girlfriends around.

So maybe this is a great opportunity for she complain, you know?

What he was doing!

Nora understands that the whole idea of Day of the Dead

is a bit of a mental leap for me.

Eating is central to the whole experience

and she thinks I'll understand it better if I help her make mole.

Come on, Stefan! Let's go make the mole!

We have to prepare this before, you know?

Mole's a traditional Oaxacan sauce

that's been served since long before the Spanish arrived.

Now it's the food of choice for welcoming back the dead.

-Why mole?

-Why mole. Well...

Why not guacamole and a few tacos?

Guacamole and a few tacos is really casual and this is really elegant.

-For this is for a formal...

-For a really formal occasion. OK?

All the peppers are clean and I have here, guess what? Lard.

Lard. Hey!

This is a pork lard and this is the most wonderful thing.

You don't mess about. That's about three heart attacks there.

-You need a lot.

-This really is going to be Day of the Dead.

Yes, we need a lot.

-You see how it turns brown?

-You're kind of deep-frying them in lard.

That's why you need lots of lard.

When my grandmother was cooking and there was going to be a party,

she would always want a shot of mescal,

-or a little cubita de sallo, no?

-Oh, yeah?

-Oh, yes. A-ha.

-Bring it on, honey. Where's the mescal?

-Where's the mescal?

Lorena, bring some mescal, please.

-Gracias! Here it is.

-Hey!

There's only one cup there. What about you?

If I drink it, I'm going to sleep.

HE LAUGHS

Muchas gracias.

-One shot.

-One shot?

You're hardcore, aren't you?

SHE LAUGHS

It's good, it's bad?

OK, look. When they are toasty...

-Are you OK?!

-No, I want to go home!

-I'm so sorry!

-But the second shot it feels better.

-Oh, that's all right, is it? OK.

-OK...

-Oh!

-It smells fantastic.

-Smells good?

-Oh, yeah.

Does cooking have a spiritual significance for you?

Yes, of course.

Four years ago when we cooked for the last time, Grandmother and I,

she told me she was feeling like she was going to pass away,

and she told me that I better learning well

and getting the right point to the mole,

because she was not going to be with me the next year.

The next year, she was not here, but her spirit was here.

She loved to cook, so she was always around checking everything

and, to me, this is the most...closest I can get to her.

So was she basically saying to you, "You better learn this,

"because I want you to cook it for me when I'm gone?"

Si, basically, that's what she say.

This is what you need. Exactly like that.

-That's the stuff.

-OK.

That's fantastic. It looks like mud.

Like mud!

The mole already seems like a coronary waiting to happen,

so what does Nora do?

She adds chocolate, an Aztec favourite.

This is going to be rich, rich, rich.

You want to taste it now?

Oh, wow!

It tastes really smoky and thick...

and kind of meaty and... A really deep, deep, deep flavour.

Look at that. It's outrageous!

The mole is just a sauce.

You can add anything to it, but the most popular ingredient is chicken.

OK. Let's go bring a plate. OK?

It's quite salty.

-Salud!

-Salud! To Grandmother.

Si, to Grandmother.

-Oh, hoo!

-So am I experiencing a little bit of your grandmother here?

Of course. You feel like she's right here,

checking our faces and seeing how much we like it.

I can't help noticing Nora's sister Lorena is overcome with emotion.

The smell and taste of her grandmother's favourite feast

is making the memories come flooding back.

Why are you crying?

Is the memory of your grandmother a good thing?

All this is her.

But is this a good thing or is this a sad thing?

Ah, you're making me feel all upset now as well.

That's the feeling and that's why all this.

That's why the Day of the Dead.

Early the next morning,

I'm back at Catalina's for day two of the festival.

This is the day when those who died as children return.

All across Mexico, people are in their homes,

tending their altars and waiting for the dead infants to arrive.

I'm not a particularly sentimental person, I don't think,

and I don't believe in ghosts, but there is a huge sense of a build up

to something and it's these sensual things, foods and smells and sounds,

and the idea of being here where people truly believe

that the dead are coming back.

I'm wondering if it's beginning to carry me along.

The big difference is everyone here is really excited and happy

and I'm feeling tense and a little bit frightened.

Catalina and her dad, Andres, aren't helping my mood

as they break out the skeletons.

It's a bit like breaking out the Christmas decorations,

but these are Day of the Dead ornaments,

usually meant to represent their beloved ancestors.

This is an interesting situation.

Catalina has said that she wants to interview me

and ask me a few questions.

Which is a bit of a relief, really. It takes the pressure off me.

What did you want to ask me?

I can't imagine that. I can't imagine it.

Is he on his way here now?

Catalina's determined to get beneath the skin of my English reserve.

One really interesting thing that I've been thinking about

the Day of the Dead is that my father never knew his father,

because he died in World War II.

And he didn't even know that that was his real father.

He thought that his father was the man that his mother married

after her first husband died.

Obviously, this guy is my grandfather and I never knew him.

I've never pictured him. I always thought somebody else

was my grandfather, so it's a really strange time.

And I don't want to get all sort of hocus-pocus therapeutic about it,

but I kind of thought that going through the Day of the Dead

and being able to concentrate on this guy,

that I've never thought about before as my grandfather,

might help me understand it a little bit better,

maybe understand my dad a little bit better.

The other person that I'm very keen trying to focus on

on the Day of the Dead itself, is my wife's mum,

who died when my wife was 16,

just a couple of days after her 16th birthday.

Who I also never knew, but I'm so thankful for,

you know, for my wife and for being the grandmother of my children.

-Are you feeling OK? Are you OK now?

-Si.

With three hours to go before the dead come back,

the altars are stacked high with food.

Why do you put food on the altar?

This room now smells so strongly of all these flowers.

The food all being here,

it's such a strange thing to see all this edible stuff.

It's an incredibly sensual experience already,

the incense is being prepared and things like that.

So, it is an earthly sensation that should drive you into feeling

a certain way and maybe feeling that the dead are coming back.

But it's still a big jump for me to make.

CHURCH BELL TOLLS

It's 3 o'clock.

We're about to receive the souls of dead children.

Catalina's family have never lost any infants,

but they'll be receiving the souls of kids who don't have

any family left alive to remember them.

Andres prepares the room, as the local church bells ring

to let everyone in the town know that the dead are on their way.

Do you have a sensation of them being here now?

Just after the bells started ringing there was a big rush of air outside

and the incense poured out of the room here.

OK.

So, did I have the same experience that they did and think that

the souls of the dead were coming in?

No, I didn't.

But did I have some kind of spiritual journey? Of course I did.

I was concentrating so much on the idea that children have died

and that their lives are worth celebrating and so, yes,

you do get some sort of sensation that the dead are here with us.

As night falls, we head towards the graveyard.

Looking forward to seeing the cemetery.

We're going to decorate the tomb

that holds several of Catalina's family,

including her beloved great-grandmother.

Everyone else from the village is here

decorating their ancestors' tombs with flowers and candles.

They'll be keeping a vigil all night.

There's an extraordinary atmosphere in here.

It's a kind of sparkling atmosphere.

There's lots of people laughing and chatting.

It's just so far away from my experience of graveyards.

I may not be a Catholic, but I'm a buyer!

I'm a buyer of this way of dealing with death.

I'd love my grave to be celebrated in this way.

Soon the local Catholic church joins in the ancient Aztec festivities.

SINGING

It's traditional to sing and play music for the spirits,

inviting them back to earth.

Everyone wants to make sure the dead feel welcome.

I'm beginning to understand how it's possible to celebrate death.

But I want to know if Catalina really isn't afraid of dying.

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow

would you still see death as something that's funny?

We've cracked the mescal, So, salud!

So we're now having a party. Erm, a party...

an alcohol party in a graveyard.

After eight hours, it's time to head home.

The graveyard's pretty much empty now.

There's a couple of mariachis still singing here.

We're on our way home, it's been freezing cold,

so I've been warmed up nicely by a skin full of mescal.

It's been quite a revelation.

I've never seen death as being such a positive, happy experience before.

I feel really exhilarated by all of this.

Here we are.

MARIACHIS SING

Night-night to the dead.

A good way to say goodbye, isn't it?

But my excitement is short-lived.

Catalina's determined to get me closer to the dead

than I ever anticipated.

I'm not much of a... superstitious person,

but this is what I can see from my bed.

Well, it's 8 o'clock here in the room of doom,

but it hasn't been a traumatic night.

It has started to sink into me

that the memory of your dead relatives and your dead loved ones

doesn't need to be mournful, it can be exciting and it can be happy.

Today is day three,

when the spirits of adult relatives return.

After all this immersing myself in death,

I'm beginning to feel more receptive

to the idea of them actually coming back.

I wonder if I might be able to get in touch with my own dead family,

or if it's all still a little out of my reach.

Catalina is busy putting photographs

of the people she loves most on the altar.

And who are these?

That's a real wild west sort of photo, isn't it?

-Si.

-Beautiful.

How would you feel if I put a couple of photos of mine on here?

Would that be appropriate?

How will I know if they're here?

Catalina, I have one photo of my wife's mother...

..who I never met and she died when my wife was 16.

But my grandfather, we didn't know that he was my grandfather

until very recently, so I've just got an entry in the birth register.

Do you think that's OK?

I think they'd probably like the flowers.

I think Georgia's Mum would like the flowers.

It's quite an emotional idea to do.

Is it all right if I sit down for a minute?

What a strange idea.

I'd like to tell Julia I'm very thankful for, Georgia, my wife,

and that I know Georgia loves her enormously,

and it was such a tragedy that she died when my wife was 16.

I so wish that I'd met her.

And I guess for my grandfather...

I don't want to seem really sentimental and silly.

Oh, dear me!

HE CHUCKLES

I'm not really used to doing this.

I wish my grandfather knew that he had a son. That he...

that my father was alive because he never knew that...

he had a son.

Until literally a couple of years ago, I never even thought

of somebody else as being my grandfather.

So it's a...an incredible feeling

to just to sit and concentrate on it for a minute

and to think about somebody that...

somebody that was part of my family that I never knew.

Look what you've done to me. I'm a mess!

It's quite nice. I've never...I've never...cried about them before.

It's always seemed like a horrible sadness, but it is quite uplifting

to finally sit and concentrate on them and think about them.

It's sort of cleansing, in a way.

I never saw the spirits of Reginald Gates or Juliet Glyn Smith,

but much as I hate superstition,

to say I didn't feel their presence wouldn't be entirely true.

I'm reluctant to say it, but yes, in a strange way, I did meet the dead.

Finally, it's time to prepare the feast of the dead.

Here it's plata tamale, a corn and tomato-based dish

that Oaxacans have been making for centuries.

Guadalupe and Catalina

are clearly not used to seeing a man in the kitchen.

Ow!

The first plate of the feast goes to their most distinguished guests,

the visiting dead.

I can imagine that Reginald Gates never tried plata tamale.

I think they'd like that.

FIREWORKS BANG

Before the living guests can eat,

everyone gathers in the altar room one last time.

To the sound of fireworks, all across Mexico,

it's time to say goodbye for another year.

And that's a fundamental change to my way of thinking.

You don't just acknowledge the dead once,

you can look forward to their return as long as you live.

As head of the house,

Andres helps the dead back on their return journey.

How do you feel about them leaving?

Yeah, I think so too.

Let's go eat.

I'd made an extraordinary connection that I'd never felt before.

But stepping out of the altar room and into the sunlight for a beer,

didn't in anyway feel strange.

It felt exhilarating.

And that seems to be the point of Day of the Dead,

it's both tragic and celebratory.

Los muertos! Los muertos.

-Y mama.

-Por mama.

It's been an incredible, life-changing experience.

I never expected the intensity of a celebration

could bring me closer to my own family,

and even help me understand my own mortality.

Maybe when you celebrate death like Catalina's family do,

grief is slightly easier to bear.

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