Abergavenny Terry and Mason's Great Food Trip

-Do you play the guitar?

-I try to.

-Well, I'll buy that for you.

-No, no, it's not even a real Strat, no.

-It's not even a what?

-A Stradivarius?

-A Stratocaster!

-Oh, I see.

What do I know?

MASON LAUGHS That's a violin.

It's taken 50 years in broadcasting, but I've finally cracked it.

TERRY LAUGHS

'A chance to meander around the country, see the sights,'

'meet the people...'

THEY LAUGH

'..and, ah, yes, eat and drink.'

Is melt in the mouth a suitable phrase?

'I've hailed a cab with one of London's finest cabbies,

'Mason McQueen, to steer me around Britain's highways and byways.'

I'm looking forward to a decent meal, are you?

Oh, I'm starving, I can't wait, Tel.

Our route has been mapped out by an adventurous gourmand,

Samuel Chamberlain, in his book, British Bouquet.

'Almost 60 years later, we're following in his footsteps...'

I'll do all the work, Tel!

'..to seek out weird and wonderful regional British cuisine

'and discover how our tastes have changed over the years.'

Do it right, son.

WHOOPING AND LAUGHTER

I assume we've crossed into Wales.

The Severn Bridge is incredible, isn't it?

You have to pay to get in, but you don't have to pay to get out.

MASON LAUGHS

'Today, we're following our battered old book to another country'

and we'll be searching for the hidden culinary high notes

in the proud nation of Cymru.

Wales, land of song.

This is the second time I've been here.

The first time wasn't successful.

West Ham got beat by Liverpool at Cardiff in the FA Cup,

-so I had bad memories.

-Yeah.

-But so far, so good, mate, this time.

Old Chamberlain, he says,

he expected people to be more lugubrious than they were,

but he finds the Welsh very cheerful.

And, oh, he does say

that he thinks it's a bit of a gastronomic sewer, but,

we'll find out whether it's got any better or not.

Not venturing too far into the valleys,

we're just popping over the border

into the foothills of the Brecon Beacons

to the town of Abergavenny, Monmouthshire.

I've been assured by those in the know

that if you want to sample fine Welsh fare,

this is the place to come.

Abergavenny is supposed to be the gateway to Wales.

I suppose it's up to us, get out there,

mingle with the people of Wales, hey?

-What do you think?

-Looking forward to it.

After a long ride in Mason's old bone rattler,

it's a welcome opportunity to stretch our legs, hit the streets

and take in the fresh mountain air of this historic town.

-What do you think of Abergavenny?

-Lovely, Terry.

-The gentle folk of Abergavenny seem friendly.

-Yeah. They do.

Have you got a wasp on your head?

MASON LAUGHS

I don't care.

Wildlife is attracted to me, you know. Even Welsh wildlife.

DOG BARKS

Life in Abergavenny

has always revolved around three main institutions...

the castle,

the priory

and the market.

When it comes to offering some wholesome regional food

for weary travellers, guess where we're headed first?

-Another day, another market.

-Abergavenny, the sun's shining.

-TOY GUNSHOTS

-Somebody's shooting at us. I don't blame them.

Chamberlain would no doubt have witnessed the 150-year-old

outdoor livestock market, which stopped trading in 2013.

But the covered market

still has the atmosphere of an important commercial centre.

So, for two discerning gourmets like Mason and myself,

it doesn't take long to find some true local produce.

-Figs, oh...

-Pineapple, which, of course, is indigenous to Wales,

as is the papaya.

It's no good buying that, it'll make you fat.

-Hello.

-Me? But there isn't a pick on me, madam.

-How dare you.

-THEY LAUGH

-Everyone's a critic.

-MASON LAUGHS

Oh, you're slipping into the Welsh accent again.

I know what you're going through, oh...

Browsing the market, we meet local food blogger Carol Adams,

who has a Welsh accent unlike any I've heard before.

-This is the hub of Abergavenny here.

-This is the hub of Abergavenny.

This is the market and I absolutely love it here.

You sound like a native-born daughter of Wales.

Well, my husband is...

-He's a daughter of Wales?

-He's a son of Wales!

-OK.

I was born in New York and imported to Wales.

EXAGGERATED ACCENT New York!

-New York, yes...

-You're a long way...

-..I am a long way from home.

-You've been regretting it ever since, haven't you?

-Not on a day like this.

Glorious sunshine? It's always like this in Wales.

Today we've got a bit of a mixed market here, food and...

It is huge, it's teeming with people.

According to the book we're following,

Mr Chamberlain didn't think much of Welsh food.

The Welsh have never been famous for anything, really,

in the food line, apart from laverbread.

This is, uh, foodie Mecca, if you like.

Incredible producers, in terms of wine, cheese,

-cider, beer, cockles, lamb...

-Cockles?

-But, I...

-How can you be famous for cockles?

-Leek? Leek soup?

-Leeks.

But I think today it's changing,

with the amount of artisan food producers

-right in this area, just outside.

-It's a terrible shame,

I always think, that the Welsh...

can't play rugby or sing.

CAROL LAUGHS

-I pity the Welsh.

-Easy.

-Do you want to get out of here alive, or what?

-Honestly!

I'm very happy to be in Abergavenny, it's lovely.

Can I pull you away from your fans and look at some...

Don't pull me away from my fans, they're a rare and dying breed.

'We've been in Abergavenny for at least 15 minutes,

'not a morsel of food has passed our lips.

'But I feel all that is about to change as we stumble

'across a surprising regional favourite.'

-Gurkha curry.

-Yes.

-Very spicy, or...?

Very spicy, normally we have the very spicy one

but this is the mild one.

Is it popular in Abergavenny?

Yeah, it is. It is very popular.

'Yubaraj settled his family in Abergavenny after retiring from

'the large Gurkha regiment,

'stationed just up the road in Brecon.'

Tell me, have you learned any of the Welsh language?

I'm trying to learn, but it's too difficult for me at the moment.

It's too difficult for anybody, ever!

If they're not Welsh, that is.

It is a difficult language.

What's your Nepalese like, Tel?

It's bordering on the inadequate.

THEY LAUGH

'Today Yubaraj is showing the good people of Abergavenny

'how to cook traditional Nepalese food.

'We don't want to cook it, we want to eat it!'

-This is a chutney.

-Chutney.

-OK.

-Careful, it's hot.

-This is hot, is it? Oh!

This is sweet.

What about your friend and the chutney?

-Yeah, my friend, Terence, would like some chutney.

-Honestly!

When I think of what I've done for you with the rice.

There you go.

-That's very nice.

-Mmm.

-Very good.

-That is good, Tel.

Here we are in Abergavenny, eating Gurkha curry...

As you do!

MASON CHUCKLES

A day like any other.

Do you like this Gurkha curry?

-Fantastic.

-How it tastes?

-Very nice, beautiful.

-As beautiful as your lovely wife.

-Thank you.

You're punching above your weight there, she's absolutely stunning.

-There is no need for that!

-Enjoy, enjoy the food.

'Having offended just about everyone we've met, it's time to find out

'what the local people of Abergavenny are eating

'when they're not shovelling down a mild Nepalese curry.'

We're following a fellow who wrote a book who said

the food in Wales, and particularly Abergavenny, was rubbish.

-Is that true?

-No.

-No, we just had a lovely meal.

Have you? What have you had?

Um, steak and ale pie and chips.

So, have you got any special way in Abergavenny of cooking potatoes?

-LADIES:

-No.

'Well, I suppose, potatoes are potatoes.

'In the search for enlightenment, our thoughts now turn to the church.

'St Mary's Priory has dominated the Abergavenny skyline

'for over 1,000 years.

'A turbulent history has seen the priory pass through numerous hands,

'but today the caretaker is a fellow knight of the realm,

'Sir Trefor Morris.'

-You're the man...

-Thank you.

-..Sir Trefor Morris,

because you know everything there is to know about Abergavenny,

that wonderful church behind us.

Tell me more.

This is built by Hamelin de Balun

who came over just after William the Conqueror.

This is the new extension, 1325, but this goes back to 1087.

'St Mary's Priory is so huge,

'it's been referred to as the Westminster Abbey of Wales.'

-It's a cathedral?

-Cathedral size.

-Why is it not a cathedral?

-It should be a cathedral.

You see, I knew you were resentful of that.

No, they decided, when the Church in Wales was disestablished,

this was going to be, then it wasn't and then it went down to Newport,

but who would want to go to Newport?

'It may not be a cathedral, but the Priory does house an important

'collection of monuments, including one of the rarest medieval statues in Britain.

'But Trefor has something a little more up-to-date to show me.'

Is there anything I should especially have a look at,

inspect closely?

The tapestry. A wonderful piece of work and the ladies who stitched it.

I call them the Medieval Babes.

They resented it at first, but then they got to like it.

How long ago was that, if you call them Medieval Babes?

Oh, about six or seven years ago.

They weren't that medieval.

-They weren't that medieval.

-Lead me to it, then, Trefor.

'Created to celebrate the new millennium, the tapestry

'is eight metres wide

'and was all stitched by hand

'with over 400 shades of wool.'

Here we are, the tapestry ladies.

'The Medieval Babes remember every stitch.'

It represents 1,000 years of Abergavenny history.

There's something there of each century.

It's a formidable piece of work.

It certainly wasn't done in a year. How long has it taken?

-Four.

-Four years, is that all?

There were 60 of us and we worked in shifts

so that everybody had a fair whack.

It was very difficult to get the moon.

In fact, it was probably the most difficult part

-of the whole tapestry.

-It's only a circle.

Yes, but it's got to have a glow,

otherwise it would look like an old dish up in the sky.

It works.

'I'm glad to report that the tapestry is not the only treat

'these ladies have in store.'

You must not miss one of the genuine Welsh cakes.

I don't think I will. Bless you.

Oh!

'Welsh cakes, the fuel for creative genius.'

We're actually going to see a place called the White Castle,

-which is a vineyard.

-Right.

-You wouldn't expect a vineyard in Wales, would you?

-Not in Wales, no.

It's a bit cold for vines. Are you a wine drinker?

I love a drop of wine, Terry, yes.

-I like a drop of red.

-Red, you prefer? Yeah.

I'll drink anything.

My uncle used to make coconut wine.

He broke both ankles.

-THEY BOTH LAUGH

-The trouble with you, son, is

I never know whether you're telling the truth or not.

MASON LAUGHS

'When Chamberlain was here in the 1960s,

'there was no wine production at all.

'He'd be amazed that today, there are over 20 vineyards

'gracing the sun-soaked valleys of Wales.'

So, in the shadow of the Brecons, not far from Abergavenny,

Rob and Nicola, with a vineyard. It's unexpected, isn't it?

It is unexpected, yes. It's living a dream of Nicola's

that she's had since about 1996.

-So it's you, Nicola, you're the inspiration?

-It is indeed.

Why did you decide a vineyard was just the thing you wanted in Wales?

I thought of having a vineyard

and us being able to work at home together

and grow something together.

Do you regret it, or are you happy about it?

-Very happy indeed.

-So you should be.

Following their passion, Rob and Nicola studied viticulture

and produced their first bottle of wine almost five years ago.

Today, they have five acres, all tended by hand.

But I'd rather sip than snip.

I'm always astounded by how much wine can be produced

in a fairly small amount of space.

We're looking at 6,000 bottles, thereabouts, a year at the moment.

6,000 bottles!

-We'll never get through all that, will we?

-We'll have a go.

Rob has been kind enough to open a few bottles from the cellar.

And, so we're not drinking on an empty stomach,

we also have some regional nibbles, care of the local smokery.

-You're the smokers.

-That's right. We produce smoked salmon,

we've got some smoked duck, some smoked chicken and cheese.

That's just a small range of some of the things we produce down here.

We'll start with the white wine first, if you like.

Oh, well, OK.

Right.

Where do we spit it out?

I have a spittoon here if you need.

If you feel you need to spit it out.

-No, I don't.

-LAUGHTER

I don't, but I thought that was the thing to do.

'Ah! to spit, or not to spit.'

I've swallowed it. And I made no mistake.

This is our rose.

SLURPING

I don't know why I did that. I've swallowed it again.

Am I the only one eating and drinking? Come along, now.

We'll all have a go.

TERRY SLURPS

Already, my senses are beginning to...blunt.

-What's the Welsh for cheers?

-Lechyd da.

-ALL:

-Lechyd da!

Do you know, I haven't spat out a drop.

LAUGHTER

How are you finding driving on the little, windy roads of Wales?

Yeah, it's tricky.

Not as tricky as reading the signs as well, some of them.

Ah, I don't know how to pronounce it.

I don't know what Chamberlain would have made of it.

He did his best.

He invested ninepence in a pamphlet called Welsh In A week.

MASON LAUGHS

And he couldn't even ask, "Is there any rooms?"

Because that became...

HE ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK IN WELSH

Back in the narrow streets of Abergavenny,

our quest for incredible edibles continues.

-Mason.

-Yeah?

-The Welsh for taxi.

-Oh, yeah.

-Tacsi.

-That's simple.

-Now we can speak Welsh.

-I can remember that.

'Having mastered the local lingo, time to master a local culinary art.

'South Wales has a strong tradition of confectionery,

'and local sweet maker Adele Nozedar

'has agreed to show us how it's done.

'I don't think she knows what she's letting herself in for.'

-What have we got here? You're Adele, aren't you?

-Yes, I'm Adele.

-I know everything.

-I believe you'd be Terry and Mason?

-Yeah.

-Yes.

'You'll be glad to know that the sweets we're making

'have a traditional Welsh mining theme.'

-Ever had a Collier's Lump before?

-No, never before.

-Today's a first.

-I've had a few lumps but...

-Not a Collier's Lump.

-Is this because of the Welsh association?

-It is.

It's because these mints are very strong and minty

and they used to be taken down the mines by the miners.

So, a big mining link.

I think I'll leave it to Mason to get his hands dirty with this one.

So, if you want to take that red food colouring

-and scatter it on top there.

-Just scatter this around.

-Just pick it up, Adele, like that?

-Pick it up, chuck it on.

Put it in your mouth and spit it out!

-Take that.

-Yeah, take that.

-And copy me.

You're never going to make any money as a plasterer, do you know that?

-What does it feel like?

-Never mind what it feels like,

what does it look like? It looks like a duck's liver!

LAUGHTER

We've discovered that the Welsh for taxi is...

-Tacsi.

-Tacsi.

-MASON LAUGHS

Do you know what a jellyfish is, though?

Jellyfish?

Pysgodlyn wibblywobbly.

Pysgodlyn wibblywobbly.

That sounds like a sweet.

Put a bit of oil on your hands.

-Mind your with wibblywobbly.

-Yes!

Pysgodlyn wibblywobbly.

What you're going to do is pull it.

I wonder if this is not too exciting for the viewer.

-What's it going to turn out as?

-A satiny sheen.

-It's going to be a Collier's Lump.

-Of course it is, silly me.

She told you there it's going to be a Collier's Lump.

-It's hard to keep track.

-You'll get another lump in a minute.

-You're distracting me.

-They're at it again.

The first stick of rock is said to have been invented

-by a chap called Dynamite Dick.

-Really?

Who had gone from Morecambe to join in the Klondike gold rush

and made a lot of money, and then invented the stick of rock,

which looked like a stick of dynamite.

Do you expect me to believe that?

I'll tell you something else that you might not believe.

Do you know, they made Winston Churchill's favourite mints

in Merthyr Tydfil?

A very little-known fact.

I'd prefer a seaweed and jam.

'A few twists and cuts,

'and our Collier's Lumps are ready for the mines.'

-It's looking good, Adele.

-It's looking very good, isn't it?

I'm not being greedy or anything like that.

And I'm probably depriving some children of their sweeties.

But, er, I'm just going to put them in my pocket,

I'll be chewing them later.

-Lovely to meet you.

-You too, Adele. Thank you.

You know when you're driving around London,

do you offer your customers sweets when they get into the cab?

You're joking. Londoners would look at you like,

"Who's this guy? He's a crazy man."

"What does he want for these sweets?"

But the great thing about sweets in the back of any car

-is that it keeps the kids quiet.

-Oh, definitely.

And sometimes the wife.

To be honest, I might get some sweets for you.

Am I speaking too much?

You must let me know, Mason, and then I'll ignore you completely.

Chamberlain describes this part of Wales

as having few gastronomic rewards.

But, just outside Abergavenny,

we find a restaurant with that rarefied award,

a Michelin star.

And so I find myself in the virtually sacred precincts

-of the kitchen of Shaun Hill.

-Nice to see you.

The Walnut Tree, far-famed among gourmets everywhere.

Do you run a tight kitchen here, Shaun, do you believe

in cuffing the lower orders about the ears when they do it wrong,

hit them with a skillet?

It's paradise here. They all love it.

-You see there's hardly a scar on anybody.

-No.

You probably don't hit them where anybody can see!

The Walnut Tree has been serving fine food since the early '60s,

just as Shaun was about to start

working with one of the most important chefs of a generation.

I started my career with Robert Carrier,

who was the Galloping Gourmet of his time.

Oh, I remember Robert Carrier, of course.

He and Elizabeth David were the big figures in food,

and they disliked each other intensely.

Elizabeth David thought that Carrier was a performer,

a pantomime act, because he was a bit larger than life.

It could have been something to do with the fact

they had cookware shops in Pimlico just two doors apart.

Carrier first opened a London restaurant in 1959.

About the same time as our friend Chamberlain started exploring

the culinary delights of the UK.

At that time, eating out was all about hotel restaurants,

where showmanship and service were more important than the food itself.

You could also pay for the cab fare with loose change.

Carrier became one of the first celebrity chefs in Britain.

He used exotic ingredients, inspired people to make great food at home.

I have a confession to make.

These beautiful dishes aren't my own work. I had help.

I remember him coming into the kitchen once or twice.

It was normally pretty catastrophic, you know.

I mean, he was a good cook and had great taste,

but he was not a restaurant chef.

-This is one of his recipes?

-It was.

I used to have to make this and I've brought it back.

It's a pate a l'oseille

but he used to call it Mr Carrier's pate a l'oseille.

-Oseille being?

-It's the green stuff in it.

A pate with green stuff, my favourite.

This should be a real taste of the '60s.

-Is this a secret recipe?

-No.

-Are you sure?

-No, and it changes every time you make it.

-You don't have to shoot anybody who sees this?

-No.

-OK.

I like a chicken liver.

You're sparing nothing with this, aren't you?

The cream's got a little bit of gelatine in it.

-Now, there's a tip.

-There it is.

You see, the present Lady Wogan will be interested in that.

SHAUN LAUGHS

For those of you that don't remember the '60s,

this is what the food looked like.

Do you want to taste one of these things, from one I made earlier?

Mm.

Shaun.

I feel I've marched back into the '60s.

-But it's been a worthwhile trip.

-SHAUN LAUGHS

Robert Carrier would be very proud of you.

I'll dig him up and tell him.

They say here there's a musical lilt to the Welsh tongue.

It shows itself the joyous love of song among the people. That's true.

They're natural, irrepressible singers.

There's a school of thought that says

you can't stop the Welsh from singing.

Look at Tom Jones, for goodness' sakes.

You have to stop yourself, as soon as you come to Wales, going,

"There's lovely." And then, "Hello, Tom."

Or going, possibly, "Yeah!"

Having digested much of what Abergavenny has to offer,

the climax to this town's food story can be found

within the walls of the old castle.

Built as a fortress to keep people out,

these days, it plays host to the town's annual food festival,

and welcomes 30,000 food lovers from around the world.

Mason and I have been promised

a little taste of this great culinary event.

The food festival's been going since 1999.

It was started by two local farmers who wanted to do something

in response to the BSE and the foot and mouth crisis in farming.

And they wanted to help local people understand

what fantastic produce there was being made on farms

in the hillsides and the valleys locally,

and they created a small market

where farmers and others could bring their produce.

And 17 years on, we're still going.

'Two festival regulars are Samantha and Shauna.

'They come every year to help feed all those festival food-goers.

'And I think they may expect us to eat something!'

There you are, dressed like a traditional Welsh maiden.

So, what's the Welsh for barbecue?

-Barbeciw.

-LAUGHTER

-You asked for that.

-That doesn't come as a surprise.

-You knew that was coming.

-And taxi would be...

-Tacsi.

-We know that!

These two have really mastered the art of American barbecue.

Basically, we quit our jobs and travelled around New Orleans,

Georgia, all the American barbecue states,

learning how to do this style of food.

Let's have a look at the old spare ribs, will you?

-Basically, these are St Louis-style trimmed ribs.

-Oh, look at that.

-Oh,

-Terry. For heaven's sake.

So, the eating experience should be, we give you the meat,

it has its own handle, you pick it up.

You eat it, you put the bone back down again. St Louis ribs.

-I'm not sure I can do that.

-I think I can, ladies.

-Pick it up. Eat it.

-Pick it up.

-You've got the big one, as they say.

-Oh, sorry.

-Oh, it's a hard life!

-SHE LAUGHS

Oh.

That's beautiful. Just falling off the bone.

It's not all American.

They also have some slow-cooked Welsh lamb.

We smoke this over hickory wood for about nine hours.

Oh, dear.

You see, this food is definitely easier to eat with your hands.

Dispense with any pleasantries. Just pick it up.

-Oh, yeah, get involved.

-Get involved.

It's great, ladies, I've got to tell you.

If I turn around...

there appear to be a lot of gentlemen

all wearing the same blazer.

If I didn't know better, I'd say we're going to hear a Welsh choir.

I think you might be right, Terry.

CHOIR SINGS

-This is great, isn't it?

-Yes, it's fantastic.

A fine body of men.

Especially the one with the stripy tie, I like him.

APPLAUSE

'So, the boys have sung.

'I suppose it's only fair we give them their supper.'

There we go.

This is the high spot of this entire programme. Feeding Wales.

-I love a spare rib.

-You look as if you're enjoying it.

If you don't enjoy this, I'll take it back!

Enjoy.

Keep their vocal cords in tip-top condition.

-Enjoy the food.

-We haven't started singing.

Well done, boys.

THEY BID FAREWELL

-Nice bunch of fellas, Terry.

-Lovely. Yeah, great.

Where to next?

No idea, but I should imagine, if we follow this book,

old Chamberlain will guide us right.

-I hope he knows where he's going.

-Well, I do, too.