How to Write a Mills and Boon Timeshift

# Please hold me close

# And whisper that you love me... #

'Publishing giants Mills & Boon are celebrating their centenary in a way only they could,

'with champagne, red roses and semi-clad men with finely honed torsos.

'All the ingredients for the classic romance stories on which they've built their reputation.'

I think all of my novels have, at least in some degree, quite a lot about truth and lies.

'My name's Stella Duffy, and the kind of events I get invited to

'are usually a little more down-to-earth...like my novels.'

'I write literary, and crime fiction.

'Traditional romance isn't really my thing.

'But the BBC's set me a challenge...

'to write a Mills & Boon.'

What do you know about Mills & Boon?

Nothing! Nothing! I know nothing!

'It'll prove even more difficult than I thought.'

I can't do it! I can't do it!

'Along the way I'll be learning from the fans...'

I went to boarding school, and the Mills & Boon were like drugs.

'And I'll get some frank advice from the experts.'

Where's the grit? You know, there's got to be the real grit of raw emotion here.

'But will it be enough to crack the secret of writing a successful Mills & Boon?'

I'm only singling out the couples, because I hate the couples,

the f... couples, the f... kissing, smiling, simpering,

love you, love me, make our baby, we'll be a family, couples.

'I've written 11 novels and they're all fairly realistic about modern relationships...intentionally so.

'The images that Mills & Boon conjure up for me

'are of doe-eyed virgins submitting to men in slacks,

'as if the delights of Girl Power never happened.'

Everything's going to be all right.

'I'm really not sure how best to approach this.

'But if I've got any chance of making it as a romance writer,

'I'd better get some sensible advice.

'I'm off to Romance HQ to meet one of Mills & Boon's editors, Maddie Rowe.'

-Hello.

-Maddie?

Yeah. You must be Stella.

Hi, come this way.

That is a very large pile of books you have there.

-Isn't it?

-Talk me through them.

-So, the whole point is, I have this challenge.

-Hmm...

-I see it as a challenge rather than an obstacle.

-An opportunity!

Yes, opportunity, good!

I have this opportunity to try and write a Mills & Boon novel.

-Do you call them novels or books?

-Books.

Books. A Mills & Boon book.

And I don't know how to do it.

-OK.

-What really makes a Mills & Boon?

-A sexy hero.

-Yes.

Very, very, very sexy. Ruthless, powerful, arrogant, preferably.

A feisty heroine who can hold her own with him and really intense emotional conflict, based on passion.

-Right.

-That's it. After you've got those three things going on,

you can put it within any of our sub-genres, but those are the three key.

What are the things I can't...? I have got a list.

What are the things, OK? Am I allowed to have drunkenness?

-Yes.

-Oh, good, because I can write drinking, that's good.

-Divorce?

-Yes.

-In all of them?

-Yes.

Fantastic! Bad language?

I think if the character really needs to swear, the character should swear.

-Sex outside marriage?

-Definitely. Lots of it!

Brilliant! Good. Which sort of finishes with,

does she have to be a virgin? I guess it's no.

No, definitely not, although, obviously, you can have

the ruthless hero explaining the ways of the bed to her.

So, for the first-time writer, sending in their chapter, chapters

and synopsis, what is the likelihood of them getting published?

-We receive about 2,000-3,000 submissions a year.

-OK.

-And on a good year, which was 2006, we bought 20 authors.

-Wow!

So, low, but possible.

We do buy all the time.

'If I'm hoping to become one of the chosen few who do get accepted by Mills & Boon,

'I'd better read some of their books, and Maddie's given me a load to start with.'

Jennifer LeBrec, kind of a made-up name!

"She harrumphed."

Who harrumphs?

"Maddie Guthrie's nipples were hard, but her mouth was dry as she stared

"into the sea-green eyes of the man standing a few feet away.

"He was tall and dark and dangerous..." So much, so Mills & Boon...

"A man she'd admired for his jungle cat reflexes, his steel-trap mind.

"His tough body, honed to the physical specifications of an Olympic athlete.

"Only Jack Connors was no athlete. He was an ex-CIA agent she often worked with on special projects.

"He gave her a small shrug.

" 'If you want me to go in with you on this mission, you'll go to bed with me first.' "

-TANNOY:

-'Change for the Circle Line via High St Kensington...'

Reading through the pile of books Maddie gave me,

I was a bit shocked to see just how much Mills & Boon have raunched up.

Their books now come in 12 highly-branded genres.

Blaze are the full-on sexy ones,

but for the more modest reader you've also got Modern,

which always features wealthy alpha males and Hello! Magazine locations.

Nocturne, a new imprint with Buffy the Vampire Slayer-style supernatural romances,

and Medical.

Think Holby City but with sexier staff.

Oh, no, that's ER.

OK then, ER but...not.

OK, so, like this one, Rebecca York's Body Contact, for me,

there does feel like there's another sex scene every 10 pages.

These are the ones that she said were full of a lot of sex.

You know, I'm sure lots of people really enjoy this.

And clearly, this woman is very successful at it, and people want to buy them.

I'm just not really sure I want to write things that say, like,

" 'God, you're magnificent,' he said, his voice so low, it was almost a growl."

"I knew your body would be like this,

"feminine curves with underlying strength,

"but I always wondered if you were a natural blonde?"

SHE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

That's fine. What I mean is, it's not possible for me to write that without knocking it.

You know, I can barely read it, without laughing at it.

And certainly, reading them in the tube, was making me shy.

And I have written fairly graphic sex, but it's not fantasy sex.

When I've written it, it's been as real as I could make it. That's been the point.

I think that I'll probably be writing this sort of "Modern" imprint, which is these ones.

They've got much more character.

There's a bit of sex, but that's not the main thrust of it, as it were!

Unlike the Blaze ones.

I think that might be more possible, because the character thing, I think, I can probably do.

I'm not sure I can totally buy into the alpha male who wins her over in the end, even though she's feisty,

and brilliant and strong, she gives in in the end.

That's not because I think all women have to be brilliant and strong either.

I find the idea of every single man being alpha male and every woman giving him in the end,

that would bore me to write that all the time.

Why do you think women read these?

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, this sounds really rude, I don't know.

What is the secret of a good Mills & Boon book?

Well, I don't know, really, I just like 'em!

I think if you want a real genuine answer, you better go and ask Mr Mills & Mr Boon.

I'm ever so sorry to interrupt, but I'm just getting to this dead good bit, I'm sorry, I'll have to go.

Mills & Boon, founded in 1908.

Phenomenal success after publishing a steady stream of romantic fiction, written by women, for women.

Through the depressed '30s, reading became the favourite form of escapism.

The Second World War, says Mills & Boon, broke down the class barriers,

both in the romantic world and the real one.

Through the permissive Swinging Sixties into an age of increasing cynicism,

the world has always been able to buy itself a happy ending.

Well, I think it's because there are fewer happy endings

in life and reality

that our readers like to read about them.

I suppose, really, we are probably the most profitable paperback firm in the world.

'Writing for Mills & Boon is a big deal.

'They sell a book every three seconds.

'So if I pull this off, I could be writing for an audience of millions!'

I'm Stella. Hello.

'But it always helps to have an idea of who the readers are,

'so I'm meeting up with some real Mills & Boon lovers.'

So, you're the Mills & Boon super-fans.

-Definitely.

-Gillian, you're clearly, you know, something of a not just super, but super duper fan.

Be brave, tell me how much money you've spent on Mills & Boon in all this time.

I understand, although I haven't worked it out, but I understand from

Mills & Boon that I have spent somewhere in the region of £20,000, but I hasten to add,

that that is since the '70s, so that's 30-odd years, so that's not so bad when you look at it that way.

No, it's not, but some of those were probably only 50p back then.

That's a lot of books!

I must admit that I usually read between 30 and 40, perhaps more than 40 books every month.

I'm like an addict.

Tell me how you got into it?

Linda, what was your first Mills & Boon?

By first Mills & Boon was probably one of the older Modern ones

when I first had my children.

I was probably about 19 and I had, sort of, my first daughter,

then I had two others within the year, so I had three young children

and I didn't go out very often, so I used to subscribe to the reader service,

and used to sit at home when they had gone to bed and just read those

cos I used to find it relaxing and that's how I got into it.

And I've been there ever since. That was 20, 25 years ago.

What was your first?

I think my mother gave me my very first one.

My mother was an English teacher, and I think as far as she was concerned, any book was a good book.

The other thing was, I went to boarding school,

an all-girls school, and the Mills & Boon were like drugs.

Basically, they were passed round.

You'd find out who had the latest or had any and we would, basically, go off and go,

(have you got any?!) I do remember sitting on a beanbag during my A-levels in someone's room.

They revised while I read Mills & Boon.

Did you pass?

Yes. I went to university.

But I think it was just that relaxation, it's like, the world is

-stressful enough, I don't actually have to engage every part of my brain in reading this book.

-Sure.

It's just the bit that stops me worrying.

The last novel I wrote was a love story.

A love letter to South London, which is where I live.

For this one though, I'm going to have to stick to good old making things up.

Well, that's a blank screen.

That's a blank page.

And that's a blank whiteboard.

At least the basic principles are set in stone. Boy meets girl...

-I beg your pardon, I didn't catch your name.

-Shaw. Teddy Shaw.

-Mine is Chick Kirkland. Very pleased to meet you.

-They fall in love...

-There's a bit of conflict in the middle...

-Let me go!

Teddy!

Before the compulsory happy ending.

-Chick?

-Yes.

I've got a backgammon board.

I won't have to write the happy ending.

Like every first timer submitting to Mills & Boon,

the first three chapters and a synopsis are all that's required.

And I think I'm onto something already.

This is my character idea.

So you've got good twin...

Bad twin.

Good twin is looking for The One.

Right?

Bad twin doesn't care.

She's just a bit of a goer. Good twin is holding out for The One.

I don't think she's going to be a virgin.

There's not many of them in the Mills & Boons I've been looking at.

Then you have the bloke.

The whole point is, good twin is looking for The One in order to find her true self.

Bad twin doesn't care, but she probably gets with him at one point anyway.

Um...just because that's what bad twins always do.

And I don't know, other than that, that's where it is.

I did ask some friends what they thought they should do.

My friend, novelist Victoria Routledge, suggested ice sculptress.

And I really liked this, because I think you can start an interesting first chapter.

Good twin, right, is an ice sculptress,

because you can...

Sculptress, let's spell that right.

Because if she's in a cold, scary place, with a chisel and a hammer,

it sounds like it might be a different kind of novel.

And I do think they like that, from the ones I've read, they like them starting off in a way...

the historical one I quite enjoyed starts off like an Egyptian, going into a Pharaoh's tomb,

kind of story and then comes back to the traditional romance, so I think they might kind of like that idea.

Mills & Boon, I'll put a question mark there,

because there's no guarantee they're gonna go for it.

I know I can't afford to be too blase about this.

Since I started my little adventure, I've discovered other experienced

writers who have tried their hands at Mills & Boon and failed.

One of those who didn't manage is crime writer Mark Billingham. Maybe he can warn me about the pitfalls.

-OK, so...

-Shouldn't you be writing?

Haven't you got a deeply passionate romantic novel to write?

That's the entire point of me coming to talk to you,

so you can tell me what to do.

Cos I've made a big success of it(!)

Yeah, you have. That's the whole point.

Big successful crime writer, big successful stand-up.

-Not such a big successful Mills & Boon writer?

-No, a complete wash-out at Mills & Boon.

-Why did you even think you wanted to do it in the first place?

-I didn't think I wanted to.

I thought, naively, I can do this, I can make money, it's easier than a paper round. What a doddle.

And it was anything but a doddle.

-It was horrendous.

-How far did you get?

About six chapters.

That's a start. But they do tend to be about 30 or 40 chapters.

It was a novella. It was a... a pamphlet is what it was!

It was a deeply sensitive romantic pamphlet. It was really hard.

-Because?

-Because there...

Because of the formula, because of the genre, because you don't care about it?

It is formulaic, but formulaic in a good way in that you can't be self-indulgent.

You can't just go, oh, I know, now I'm going to go into her

head and her family background.

-You have to get on with the story that they want.

-You've got to tell a story.

That's always the problem with quite a lot of writing, isn't it? You've got to tell a story!

That's what writing is, isn't it really? It should be.

-Don't you have to care about the story you're telling?

-Yes.

And if you're doing the Mills & Boon because you can, because apparently they make lots of money...

Then you're not doing it because you care.

And I think that's gonna show. It's the same as anything.

I'm sure most of the people who write Mills & Boon, whoever they are,

and I'm sure you'll tell me who these mysterious people are,

it's their job, but I'm sure they care about their characters

every bit as much as Ian McEwan cares about his characters.

-Because otherwise you just can't do it?

-No.

-So are you actually writing to a formula when you set out to write a new book?

-Erm...

no, never. Never to a formula.

The only formula is, you have a man and a woman and a happy ending,

which, after all, is what every man and woman is looking for.

That's the aim in life, isn't it? To find someone you can love.

Whether it's another man, another woman, or even a little doggy.

I wrote a first chapter.

And I got really excited because it wasn't the first chapter I thought I was going to write.

It doesn't have the good twin, bad twin thing I thought it might have, although they might come in.

And it does very much have the ice sculpture idea.

And just as I was getting all excited about writing that, I thought,

she can have an old crumbling building, in the meatpacking district in New York, it's got a

freezer in it - because it's in the meatpacking district.

The meatpacking district in New York's very groovy now

and everything's getting #done up and redeveloped.

So she can have a developer to be the bloke who is her sort of nemesis,

and therefore the one that she falls in love with in the end.

A nice classic bit of Mills & Boonism.

Then I suddenly realised that the ice sculpture she'd made was beautiful.

So she needed to kiss him. And when she kissed him, of course he comes alive.

But she doesn't know that, we know that at the end of the first chapter.

So I got all excited by that, partly because I like writing fairytale stuff.

A couple of my novels have been a bit magical.

And partly because it wasn't what I thought I was doing.

That's the bit I like best about writing - suddenly it's not what you thought you were doing.

And then that fits into their Nocturne strand, so that's OK.

It's not like it's a completely irrelevant Mills & Boon idea!

It does actually fit into one of their imprints, a sort of modern Buffy style.

So far, I've made a start on my plot.

I've got a heroine I like, and I think she fits into the type that Mills & Boon want.

Mills & Boon heroines can be everybody. The heroine's the reader's gateway into the story.

So as long as the reader can empathise, put herself

in the reader's shoes and want to be her,

anything at all goes.

Which is great, because my heroine's an ice sculptor.

In Mills & Boon, the heroine's traditionally been a working woman.

I've come across air hostesses, nurses and even an undercover secret agent.

Any job where a girl can meet an eligible professional male.

Now I need to work on my hero.

In the books I've read, the men all seem pretty much the same.

They're the rich alpha male and they're usually in business.

Here we have not mere millionaires, but billionaires,

lots of tanned Europeans, and the ever-popular Sheik.

Ordinary blokes need not apply.

The Mills & Boon hero has to be very strong, very together, very powerful.

The kind of man that maybe would be difficult to live with on a day to day basis.

But in a romance, he's just absolutely perfect.

The hero of my last novel was a 67-year-old dry cleaner from south London -

hardly classic Mills & Boon material.

How do you spell limousine? I don't think I've ever written "chauffeur-driven limousine"

in anything before, ever.

Eleven novels, 30-odd short stories, half a dozen plays, I cannot imagine

I have ever written the words "chauffeur-driven limousine"

ever before. But it fits here.

Matt Macdonald climbed out of a chauffeur-driven limousine

and looked up at the building in front of him.

Unlike the others on the street, it had not yet had the Macdonald treatment.

His firm took old buildings, run-down apartments, and turned them into modern palaces,

with cool lines, elegant architecture

and something that had come to be known as the Macdonald touch.

Matt was nothing if not excessive.

He was well known for his four perfect homes.

Do you think four is enough? Shall I make it five?

"his five perfect homes." I know, we should add where they are.

Eh...

"Three in the United States,

"and two in Europe.

His classic car collection

and the even longer string... even longer collection...

the even larger collection of beautiful ex-girlfriends."

How many words is that?

One hundred and thirty-two words.

That's not bad actually.

You do that 10 times in a day and you're done for the day!

'Getting it all down on paper is one thing. Getting it done the right style is another.

'How do I make it sound like a Mills & Boon?'

To find some answers, I'm off to Italy for something that feels a bit like going back to school -

a special writing course for aspiring Mills & Boon authors.

And this week-long romance-athon is being held in Tuscany.

It will be useful to go to Italy and speak not only to Sharon Kendrick, the tutor, but actually I think it

might even be more interesting to speak to the other people who

are there because they want to write Mills & Boon.

And write out your ending to this book.

Sharon is one of Mills & Boon's most prolific authors, with worldwide sales of over five million.

We decided right at the beginning that Mills & Boon was no different

from any other writing in that you always write with integrity.

And lots of people try and write these books, and where they fail is they

write what they think

people want to read.

We're working on a 12-point structure, really.

We have a hero called Luca and a heroine called Ellie.

And at the end we know that this hero is going to end up with this heroine, and they're going to be

madly and passionately in love, but there's going to be a strong enough commitment between them that the

expectation is a happy ending.

You must know your characters inside out.

In truth, you want to make your character a three-dimensional person that will leap off the page.

This afternoon I'd like you to go away and to write the...

scene where the hero and the heroine make their commitment to one another,

and this is like the huge emotional high point of the book.

So don't hold back...

Don't hold back on emotion.

Just remember how you feel, how you felt in those moments where you think

all that love is going to come out, and you daren't hope that it's going to be reciprocated, and it is.

I'm writing the final scene of a Mills & Boon novel.

It's not the last scene in the book, it's the final scene in the story.

There's a nice epilogue that goes into the future.

He reveals he loves her, she reveals she loves him, all their past problems are out of the way.

And they cannot but fall into each other's arms in big love.

As Sharon said, it's more heart than groin.

So this is the big heart revelation.

Have you written a scene like this before?

I think I probably have written things like this before actually,

but normally when I've written the rest of the book.

Or maybe at the beginning of a book and then everything goes wrong.

My books don't tend to end with this kind of a scene,

but I'm sure there's been things like that in them before.

They do tend to go wrong quite soon after this bit.

I don't think I'd be building up to this.

But it's quite nice to write, and it's a lot easier than writing at home of where there's...

a phone and the e-mails and the mobile phone and the neighbours' builders getting in the way.

This is great.

I could do this all the time.

She realised now, perhaps too late, that the feelings she had for him

as a teenager had not died, just quietly gone to sleep, curled up inside her heart.

The river path stopped abruptly in front of the old loggia.

She walked under the trailing vines, heavy with ripened fruit,

through an open door into the main sitting room. Her heart lurched.

Sitting behind a long, makeshift table were a group of workmen eating their midday meal.

And that the head of the table sat Luca.

The look of surprise on his face mirrored her own.

Before she could say a word, he was at her side leading her back out into the garden.

-That's as far as I have gone.

-Brilliant!

That's good. Well done, I loved it.

Everything. The sort of...

The river... Because I hadn't thought of the river.

The ripe fruit, that whole kind of way... You made it so real.

It was fantastic. And I want to read on.

Feelings curling up inside of you.

Yes, that was beautiful.

Which I'd never heard before.

It was lovely, original, fantastic.

Stella, would you like to read?

Luca paused for a moment to survey his handiwork.

The water level, as high as it was, and the hill so steep there was no

way they'd be able to get earth-moving machinery up here without watching it sink

into the earth or worse, roll down the hill taking the driver with it.

So the hardest of the work, moving old boulders from the stubborn earth

to create the new mill wall, had to be done by hand.

Luca had been far more hurt than he'd let on by Ellie's refusal.

Hurt and pushed into making changes.

Luca was still working in the low field an hour later when the small, dusty rental car pulled up.

The first he was aware of Ellie's presence was something in the air.

The scent of peaches and vanilla in the light perfume she always wore.

He looked up to see her standing at the outside door.

She was as surprised as he...

And as cold. "I wanted to say goodbye...

"To the mill." "Just the mill?"

She didn't answer and Luca repeated his question.

"Just the mill?" She shook her head.

"To be honest, I don't know. Maybe not, maybe I want to see you too."

Those few words were all the invitation Luca needed.

He ran the 20 paces to where she stood, held her to

him regardless of the mud on his boots and the dirt on his hands.

And then he was kissing her and she him.

They were in each other's arms where they were meant to be, and he was whispering, "I'm sorry."

And she was saying, "I'm sorry," back. And then he was saying "Ti amo."

And she was saying, "I love you, my darling, I love you." They were saying the same thing.

Well, I really liked a lot of it but the beginning bit, which was kind of like it was his internal...

His point of view.

Saying about all the mistakes he'd made.

That completely kills the suspense for the final moments.

The thing is, it's very interesting about the earth-moving trucks

coming up the valley and the actual logistics of the difficulty

of earth-moving, but that's not the kind of earth we want to see moving, do know what I mean?

You can't just start a scene. You've got to give all the back story.

I know, but sometimes, particularly in these, 50,000 words, less really is more.

And really, the reader, to be frank, doesn't want to hear about earth-moving, not that kind.

She doesn't want to hear about the thrashing river.

She doesn't want to hear...

She wants to hear the conversation between them that makes it absolutely clear in her mind

and in their minds that she loves him - whoever's going to make the first step - that he loves her.

And that it really...

They really mean it.

I've never done that in my life, I've never shown anybody a completely rough first draft.

I think everyone was incredibly brave.

She said nice things about some of the writing and people have written some really lovely pieces.

But, actually, people had written them - and I had - in prose.

What Sharon was saying was that for Mills & Boon they don't want that,

or at least in her experience, they don't want that.

What they are after is mostly dialogue where the two characters reveal themselves to each other.

That's very different, certainly different to the kind of stuff that I do where normally,

rather than having somebody say,

"I love you. I'm completely furious with you and I still love you anyway."

I'd want write that in a prose form with a little bit of dialogue

so that the reader could work out what was going on at the same time as the characters were.

I'm kind of rewriting the whole thing...

In dialogue.

'All this seems a bit too much like hard work. Time to have a chat with the other students, I think.'

Ring up every week and say, "How are you getting on with that story?"

Jennie has already published five Mills & Boons,

but given she's slightly closer to my stage than million-seller Sharon,

maybe she has a few tips.

If I have a core story I would say it's a woman who has nothing saves a man who has everything.

-And how does she save him?

-By helping him realise what's really important in life.

-Right. And...

-So he's giving her financial security?

Perhaps, but I also like her to be strong enough on her own where she could survive without him.

It's a choice. I think the financial stuff, the fantasy and

the glamour, that's really just the frosting, the gift wrapping.

The really good stuff

isn't about the money, that's just the fun...

-wrapping paper.

-What's the good stuff then?

The heart and the emotion

of believing that you can have that one special person

that will change your whole life and that it lasts forever.

Yesterday you all wrote the ending of a book and we decided that it was slightly too soft, too romantic,

not enough passion, power and not enough dialogue.

So just to quickly say a few things about dialogue.

What... When you are reading books...

I just think that...

the importance of dialogue is to make it - obviously, make it sound like something you would overhear.

To remember when you are writing dialogue...

The best way is to recapture conversations you've had with someone.

In a way, that gives you a bit of practice because people do not speak in perfectly made out sentences.

They speak in short, snappy...

Often, particularly in moments of high passion, they will speak in cliches.

So have you all written me a nice dialogue-y, punchy ending?

-Tried.

-Tried something.

-More or less.

-Good. Perhaps you'd like to read it out to the group.

Luca was still working in the low field an hour later when the small rental car pulled up.

He was swearing so loudly in peasant Italian at the recalcitrant boulder that he didn't hear the sound of

knocking at the front door, nor the click clack of low heels against the stone floor.

He did, though, hear Ellie's voice.

"What you doing?" He looked up. She was there on the patio, her hand gripping the rusted iron railing.

He stared for a moment then answered,

his calm tone only just masking the torrent of emotions beneath.

"I'm re-planting your mother's garden. What are you doing here?"

"I came... The agent told me...

"Her letters... I didn't expect you to be here." "No, why would you?

"Arrogant, money-hungry tycoons don't need to bother getting our hands dirty with real work."

Ellie flinched at hearing the words she'd shouted at Luca repeated back at him.

She knew she'd spoken in anger and have been regretting it for weeks.

What surprised her was that he'd obviously listened.

He started to walk out again and instinctively, Ellie put out her hand to reach him.

"Luca, please... Everything that's gone between us, everything we've been through..."

"You want to be FRIENDS?"

His emphasis on friends left her in no doubt he didn't appreciate the idea.

Luca turned, his arm raised.

For a moment she thought he might actually slap her.

He clenched his fist, punched the air in frustration, fury at

the rules Ellie had set for herself and his own inability to just let go.

"God," he whispered, "Ellie, cara, ti amo."

He was holding her now, kissing her and she him, both of them sure,

Luca whispering over and over again, "Ti amo."

After a moment he felt her hesitating and pulled away. "What is it?" he asked.

"Nothing, really," she answered. "No, say it."

Scared he would say no, shy that she was asking

a stupid question, frightened to push it away again, Ellie said, "Can you say it in English?"

And on bended knee Luca said, "I love you. Will you marry me?"

Stella. That was good, punchy dialogue.

But two things just screamed out at me

which I couldn't get rid of and it's just showing in a different way, as you know, the power of words.

The one that really jarred is when she said she actually thought he might hit her.

Because, you know, there is at no point in any book...

A Mills & Boon hero might be angry, he might be furious,

but he would never, ever, ever hit a woman... or a dog or a donkey.

I don't want to detract... The power of their dialogue was amazing.

You brought them to life and that's what I really wanted to explain the importance of.

Is that dialogue brings a scene to life in a way that narrative never can, in my mind.

Well, that went a bit better. Maybe six out of 10?

I'm keen to get back to my iceman story,

but before I go I need to pick Sharon's brains on one more thing.

The sticky matter of writing Mills & Boon sex.

Any hints for how best to go about it, given that I'm a first timer?

-Have you...

-Writing a sex scene for Mills & Boon.

How do you normally write sex scenes?

As graphically as possible actually, without being romantic.

-Ah.

-My choice has been, in my other novels, to be utterly honest about bellies and flab and...

-Urgh.

-I know, I knew you wouldn't like that.

-No.

To try and do passionate and love realistically.

OK, let's get one thing straight. There's no bellies or flab.

The bodies are perfectly honed, just like ours.

And, um...

Taut skin...

But I would just say don't write gratuitously

but write passionately and with feeling.

I think Stella is a very realistic writer and I think that one of the

problems for her could be that she may make her hero a little too real.

The kind of man who would be very concerned with the land

and all that it symbolises rather than just being completely concerned with his heroine.

But I'm really looking forward to reading her submission and waiting to see what the editor thinks.

I think I've learned a lot more about how it's done,

and about how somebody who really cares to do it can do it.

And I think that's great, and I love to know about narrative structure and things like that.

They really appeal to me in my own writing.

I also think it's really clear to me, not that it ever wasn't before,

you have to want to do it, and I'm not sure I want to do this.

I don't necessarily want to know that everything's gonna end up happy in the end.

I really do want to write real life and not fantasy.

The grey reality of South London doesn't seem to have dampened my post-Italy enthusiasm.

What's more, I think I've finally nailed the plot...

Sort of.

We've got the...

ice sculptor, who's the heroine.

Who makes an ice sculpture...

Who looks like he might be the hero because when he kisses him he comes alive

and she thinks he's lovely and they have a bit of passion.

I'm not sure I'm going to put that in but that's the idea.

And because every heroine protagonist needs a hero antagonist,

she gets to have the hero who is the classic Mills & Boon alpha male...

property developer who is wealthy and successful and a man

from her past, which means I get to have a flashback sex scene early on.

I think Sharon quite liked them as a concept.

So what that does, and this is possibly a little too complicated for

a 55,000 single line narrative Mills & Boon but I can't help myself...

You get a nice, classic love triangle

because she falls in love with the ice sculpture, who loves her back.

But we find out later that he is loving her wickedly, not purely.

She does still love the hero property developer who she loved from the past.

Then the hero property developer and the ice sculpture

have to fight it out to win her love in whatever way they can.

See? A nice love triangle.

I'm quite liking the story but it still doesn't feel very Mills & Boon.

Despite having written two chapters, I'm finding it difficult to write what I think they want.

I reckon it is time to get some feedback from the one person I know who'll tell it to me straight.

PHONE RINGS

-Sharon Kendrick.

-Sharon, it's Stella.

-Hello, darling!

-How are you?

I'm really good.

-That's better.

-Are you sitting down?

I have to ask you important questions now.

Do you remember just as we were getting ready to leave Tuscany,

I was telling you how I think at the end of my second chapter I'd just brought the two of them together?

You were horrified that I'd waited until the end of the second chapter to be my hero and heroine together.

Yes. Utterly.

But I think it works really nicely, Sharon.

You've got the whole first chapter about her and the whole second chapter about him and then they

come together and then you get a nice flashback in Chapter 3.

It might work very nicely, but you won't be meeting reader expectations.

If you go out to buy a white shirt, you don't want a shop assistant telling you a blue one looks good.

OK, but is there never any place for surprising your reader?

Yes, of course in the freshness of intimacy of the relationship between the hero and the heroine.

There has to the chemistry right there early on. What are they called?

She's called Tyler Ogilvy.

It's American. She's allowed to have that surname, first-name thing.

Because he's Irish and Italian mix and because I've got him in the Tuscan hills,

he's called Matt Bonari.

-I quite like those, yes. Good!

-He's a property developer, which is why he's so wealthy.

What he puts into his properties as an extra thing at the very end,

he always adds what he calls the "Bonari Bonus".

It's like a studio or a swimming pool. ..Sorry?

The "Bonari Bonus"? Yes.

Can I call it the "Bonari Bonus"?

-I don't like that.

-Why not?

Because it sounds...

I think the "Bonari Touch"

would be better. To me it just sounds like something - some extra points to be gained down the supermarket.

No, no...

The "Bonari Touch" is a nice play on him also touching her.

He touches her more than anyone else.

That's fantastic. Brilliant, Sharon, now I've got a title.

-That's marvellous. Thank you so much.

-Good luck.

Speak to you later, goodbye.

Good.

So...?

She doesn't pull any punches, that woman, does she?

No, that's terrible, don't do that!

The "Bonari Touch" is actually better. The "Bonari Bonus"

is definitely more of a joke.

Obviously, as we know about Mills & Boon, you've got to look like you're taking it seriously.

I completely disagree with her in terms of what I want to write

about bringing them together in the first chapter.

The problem is whilst I completely know that Sharon knows what she's

talking about, and I absolutely get it, and she says you've to get the

heroine and hero together sooner, that's what the reader wants, I understand all of that.

But it's not what I want.

I think this would be the crux of the matter if I ever did try to write a whole one of these.

I want to write what I want. That's why I'm a writer.

-Are you enjoying it?

-I'm not enjoying it because I'm caught between wanting to do what I would like

to do and wanting to do what they say they want their writers to do.

And probably not succeeding with either, which isn't great.

No, Paul.

No, this can never be.

Not for us, Paul.

You and I are worlds apart.

It cannot be.

I need some support so I've come to see Lauren Henderson,

a friend who writes all kinds of genre fiction.

She's bound to have some kind words for me.

Isn't she?

I have to say you are probably the worst person to be writing this.

When I heard you were doing it, I seriously thought

you were going to have a problem with it.

You're not going to be able to do it in a sexy, ironic way. It's going to annoy you.

You can't be ironic. It isn't even allowed to be ironic a little bit.

It has got to be just sexy because everybody

we talk to about Mills & Boon were saying they read them for fantasy.

I want to have them both taking charge.

I want to have them both being passionate.

This is going to be a disaster!

No, so far it's only a bit of a disaster.

Just think about this as a chamber piece.

Think of it as an expanded short story.

I don't want to. I want to write a book with other characters and extra things happening.

-You're fighting this with everything you have.

-I am.

I thought it would be simpler to go, "OK, I'm doing a format, I'll do the format."

You're coming across as being really...

I know, I know I am. No, I'm not.

It's partly because I am taking the writing of it quite seriously.

As opposed to sitting there with a bucket of martini and just churning it out.

I think that's where you're going wrong. You want a nice gin pail.

And just scoop up some more.

I want to try and do it right and because I'm trying to get it right...

-I think you are thinking about this too much.

-Maybe.

You're thinking about this too much and not drinking enough.

That and having a camera over my shoulder. It's not ideal.

Usually writing when drunk is something I would never advocate and there have been those times

in the evening when I have had a couple of drinks and thought, I have got a really good idea.

You wake at the next morning and it is...

In this case I think a stiff martini before work might actually...

You need to project yourself into that world and you're having trouble finding the magic door at the back of

the wardrobe that will help you walk through.

I definitely have every intention of a very strong vodka martini for the writing of the sex scene.

# Nothing's impossible, I have found

# For when my chin is on the ground

# I pick myself up, dust myself off

-# Start all over again... #

-Do you want an olive?

"She'd never been in love like this before

"and though he was almost seven years older, she believed him when he said

"he hadn't either."

Maybe you should leave the room now.

It's probably a little rude to look over somebody's shoulder when they're writing a sex scene.

# Work like a soul inspired

# Till the battle of the day is won

# You may be sick and tired

# But you'll be a man, my son

# Don't you remember the famous men

# Who had to fall to rise again?

# They pick themselves up, dust themselves off

# And start all over again. #

You can only use this if you are sober. I'm joking.

"Back in his apartment, they rushed from elevator

"to door to bedroom, not seeing the walls, let alone the floor, not seeing anything until the bed.

"His body and her body fitting like they were made for each other,

"an easy fit, a smooth fit, a perfect fit, an "Oh God, I can't believe it can be this good" fit.

"They both burst out laughing and, looking deep into each other's eyes, said it again."

5,000 words, three martinis and a sex scene later, my supernatural- style romance is finished.

I'm fairly pleased with what I've written, but is it right for Mills & Boon?

I might just run it by some experts before Maddie, the editor, makes the final judgment.

"She turned back and blew a kiss to the beautiful ice man.

"She hoped the 16th birthday Princess would appreciate him

"when he stood at the centrepiece of her party table tonight. She certainly did.

"Tyler turned off the light and closed the freezer door.

"Behind her, in the dark, the ice man smiled and blew a kiss in return.

"He rather appreciated what he'd just seen as well."

Oh, interesting.

I think it would fit very nicely into the Intrigue Nocturne series.

Absolutely. There wouldn't be a problem with the fact

that she is in love with and having sex with someone else not the hero?

Has she created the ice figure in his image at the back of her mind?

That's good. That's lovely.

That would make it less of a...

And she doesn't realise that until later on. That is very nice.

Thank you. I like that.

That was the only bit I thought they might stutter at.

That she's having sex with somebody who is not the hero.

But if you make it that it's in his image, it is almost like...

If she can't have the real person, she's got the image.

But she hasn't connected the two.

He doesn't see it until the end.

Also when he has to fight off the ice man at the end, he is fighting himself.

That's very nice.

Like a negative in a photograph.

I like that, because to me a lot of the Mills & Boon I've seen, he might save her financially or

from being too busy or not having enough time for emotion, but she

tends to be saving his heart, his soul.

That would be quite nice, actually. Good, OK.

That was great. They were really lovely, they were very kind.

But the best bit, they solved my entire...

"You're not allowed to have them meet at chapter two, it's got to be chapter one."

I'll make chapter one the prologue, chapter two, chapter one, chapter three, chapter two,

I'm going to cut my synopsis and make it a blurb,

then I'm going to make my synopsis to my narrative arc.

It's all fantastically sorted and the best bit, even though

I thought the synopsis was a bit too long for them, they went ooh, at the right bit, not, ugh!

so as long as they are going, ooh, I think at least I've got a chance of Maddie not hating it.

I've only got one more to go.

So, with the last few changes made and a note

to Maddie saying "here you go", my Mills & Boon is ready to send.

I'm feeling very nervous about it, I haven't...

posted something like this for about 14 years.

Also, these days, most people do it by e-mail.

Mills & Boon, unusually, still take unsolicited manuscripts, that don't quite fit!

There.

I expect she'll say no, and even though I expect she will say no,

I'll still be hurt and mind if she says no,

We don't like it, it's not our kind of thing.

Of course it would upset me. I'm a writer and I want everyone to love everything I do.

We all do, it would be stupid not to.

So, we'll see.

I'm leaving for a few days, when I return, I hope to bring interesting news.

The big day. And like any good Mills & Boon heroine, I'm all a-flutter. Will I get my happy ending?

So, how are you feeling?

Erm, more than a little bit nervous.

It's like that bit where you go to a doctor's to get test results, and they say, how are you?

And, let's chat. You go, just tell me what's happened!

So, I'm going to go in

and she will want to say, hi, how are you?

Be all nice and I'll just want to go, do you like my book or not?

Get on with it. But I will be more polite than that, obviously.

Hello, lovely to see you.

You're so warm! It's freezing outside!

It's disgusting, isn't it?

Thank you so much for looking at it, Maddie, it's brilliant.

No, it's great, loads of fun. Overall, I thought it was beautifully written,

wonderful to read and I was really excited about it.

It's the first magic realist Mills & Boon that I've ever read in my entire life.

Where did you think you were aiming for, because we talked a lot about series?

Nocturne, maybe Nocturne Intrigue.

I truly did try and do a straight story.

But, at the end of the first chapter, which was just the first chapter, because Sharon was so

certain you can't have your hero and heroine not meet until chapter two, that's just so bad and wrong.

The fans said, why don't you make the first chapter a prologue and chapter two chapter one?

-So you cheated?

-So, I cheated!

It was the fans who suggested it,

so the end of what is now the prologue,

I would've just had her making an ice sculpture,

but then it just seemed so sensible that he kissed her back.

So, well not sensible, but sensible in a magical kind of way and I had read a couple of the Nocturne ones.

So, I thought that, really.

What I really liked about this was, the hero who is absolutely spot on, alpha male wonderfulness.

I thought you had a great sense of glamour and glitz and excitement.

I loved the Manhattan setting, I thought it was really, really, really well evoked.

This is very kind of languorous and beautiful, but I think when you're talking about 50 to 60,000 words

you might have to think about upping the pace.

You know that pace is so upped, compared to what it was!

I don't think I've ever worked so hard on three chapters, also I

haven't done three chapters and a synopsis since my first book.

-As you said in your e-mail.

-Yes, it's really, really daunting.

What about the sex scene? That was quite hard work for me.

I did wonder about that, no, it was brilliant.

It was properly sexy and I like the way you were doing

it in flashback as well which gave you an opportunity to do very happy, very uncomplicated, very sexy.

That was a three-martini sex scene.

Well, whatever it took, it worked.

I did then edit it and make it tidy.

-SHE SLURS HER WORDS

-I did tidy it up.

But to write the first draft of it, was definitely, I will have a martini

to think about it after I'd been thinking about it for a week, then sit down and do it.

By the time I had taken four hours to write the thing, we'd gone through an entire martini shaker.

I do think you found your own way.

I was thinking, if this had come in the slush I would have been overjoyed,

because it's got an individual voice and great narrative drive and

I did want to know more about the characters, I would have sent for the next bit, had you written it.

-That's good.

-Thank you very much.

So, shall we go and have a pint of wine, to make me happy.

A whole pint of wine?

We might have to share it. Is that all right?

I believe now, what you said the other night.

So, the Mills & Boon epilogue.

You know, where our heroine looks back on her journey and reflects on what she's learned.

It certainly wasn't love at first sight.

But, sure enough, once she was swept off to a glamorous location, her heart started to melt.

There were some last-minute doubts, but, helped by alcohol, they finally got it together.

And our heroine was surprised at how much she'd come to care.

I tried to do the best I could, to do what they like.

It's not quite them, but at least she liked what I did and she liked it a lot, so that's really nice.

All the things I really believe are true, you should write what

you want to write and you should do it for yourself, not for a market or

what your perception of what a market might be is, because who knows what that market is?

According to Maddie, there's a dozen different markets for Mills & Boon,

so the idea there's only one that works is entirely silly.

ROMANTIC MUSIC

Overall, I think there's this vast appetite for fantasy and escapism

that maybe we don't all think exists.

Maybe we think it belongs to television or to film, or theatre.

Clearly, there's a huge desire for it in the Mills & Boon audience,

which is many millions of people.

Secure in the knowledge that our heroine has learned all she needs,

she can now go off into the sunset of a perfect life, happy, and fulfilled.

Well, more or less!

# I know a falling star

# Can't fall forever

# But let's never

# Stop falling in love

# No, let's never

# Stop falling in love. #

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