Alex: A Life Fast Forward

OK. So, you're not driving?

I just say yes to everything because I just...

I've never been able to sit still for five minutes,

so I often double-book myself and then say, "Sorry, I can't do that."

I just say, "Yes, I'll do that, I'll come here."

He always wants to get on with it.

Despite all the bad news and horrible treatments

and the side-effects and him feeling just rubbish,

he's still the one to ring everyone up and go, "Let's do something crazy."

OK, so what shall I do? Shall I go to Jordan's?

OK, that's awesome. I'll see you in a bit.

He'll be in hospital at the start of the week

-and then somehow he'll make it out that Friday night. Unbelievable.

-Friday and Saturday.

-Yeah!

'Alex Lewis doesn't like to think too much about the future.

'He knows his days are numbered.

'What he doesn't know is that on this day, the 4th of June 2010,

'he'll meet someone who'll change his life forever.'

I was 17 when I actually got diagnosed with cancer.

Then I started chemotherapy very soon and lost my hair by my 18th.

I remember, at that time,

the word "cancer" was such a scary word. Especially telling friends.

Like, you couldn't really get yourself to say it.

"Oh, I've got bone..."

And then you'd pause for a little while and be like, "..cancer."

Just try to get around saying it. There's no other word for it because it is cancer.

I used to get very upset and very angry quite a lot.

But then I just realised it doesn't help at all getting angry

with anyone else, with just anything. Because it'll just...

Well, it sounds corny, but you may as well be happy with the time you've got

and make the most of your time.

I've learnt to get myself into this state of just feeling...

really good, like a warm feeling inside. Just completely peaceful.

Almost concentrate on not concentrating on anything,

no negative thoughts, just feeling good.

In English, we just don't have a word for that feeling

that I feel has helped me.

And in Dutch, they do. The word is "gezellig",

which is the tattoo on my chest.

I've kind of made up this word now. The Dutch would probably be like, "What is he talking about?"

But to me, it means something even more now.

-Enjoy your weekend. Take care.

-Thanks very much. I will. Thank you.

I think, for a long, long time, Alex couldn't believe

that he wasn't going to be cured. I think we probably felt the same.

You look round the corner for the next possibility,

for the next possible way out of the situation.

And we've, I suppose, only recently...

And still, day in day out, you think "Well, there must be something else."

You never give up hope that there might be something else round the corner.

I definitely want to be cremated.

-Ashes to be spread on Fulham football ground.

-Oh?

And then also in Brightwell

and also... Triana Beach.

Instantly reincarnated? I'd like to think I'm a monkey.

Just cos I love monkeys - a bit cheeky. What do you think I am?

A pain in the arse? An ass, then. Just an ass.

I like a cheeky chimp. Cheeky chimp, yeah.

HE LAUGHS

He's very mischievous and he likes to sort of wind you up a bit.

Never wants to sit inside watching TV.

Always wants to play something,

whether it's freezing outside or whatever.

-He always pushes it as far as he can.

-Until someone gets hurt!

Normally. Until he breaks a record or someone gets hurt.

It's hard to get hold of him. He's always out meeting friends,

travelling around the country.

"Where are you this weekend? Nottingham, Bournemouth?"

You can't suppress him.

He's just unrivalled energy, he's always the centre of the party.

Sometimes you go, "For Christ's sake, Al, sit down and read a book."

I've never seen him read a book.

He seems to be able to sort of wake up in the morning,

think about the day and think about something good happening

during the day and that's what he'll focus on. He won't go beyond that.

If I put myself forward in time

and say the last thing I want to do is regret anything.

So, I'm thinking of all the things that I want him to do,

or things you want to say or whatever,

knowing that, when I look back,

it will be one of just absolute enjoyment with him and his time,

rather than, "If only I'd done this,"

or, "If only I hadn't said," or whatever.

He wants to experience everything possible,

no matter how small or big it is. He just... He just wants to do it.

ALL: # Strangers waiting

# Up and down the boulevard

# Shadows searching in the night... #

I got a text somewhere in Australia just saying,

"I've booked a flight for two days' time. I'll see you on Sunday."

And then next thing, he just turned up.

Alex has always loved getting a tan

and just sort of frolicking in the sunshine.

From the very first, we all got on really, really well.

You know, "Let's just really enjoy being here in the sun in this beautiful place."

We all had a really amazing time. It was just great fun.

Although, since the day I got diagnosed,

I know for a fact I've thought about the Big C-word "cancer",

like, every day of my life.

But it makes you realise just how precious life is.

Life is actually amazing,

but to make the most of every minute,

you do have to look at things in a positive way.

-How does it feel, achieving the world record?

-Good. Paul helped out.

-It wasn't just me and Josh.

-Cheers!

Al was like an extra child really in our family.

So we've got four children, and he became the fifth.

We were, like, inseparable

and we'd sleep at each other's houses for a week on end.

I wouldn't see my mum for five days. She'd be like, "You all right?"

I'd be like, "I've just been at Al's for five days."

# Dancing in the moonlight

# Dancing in the moonlight... #

He just doesn't stop having fun.

It's amazing how he still has that drive, despite everything, really.

I don't think I'd be this strong in this situation.

I don't get angry about maybe not having a future

because I woke up this morning thinking, "What am I doing today? I'm having a good day."

I mean, I have to go and have radiotherapy,

but you think, "Having radiotherapy - that's not chemotherapy."

Chemotherapy's much worse. You can do that, the sun's shining,

you're going later in your new sports car with your friends to Swansea.

I'm...having almost the time of my life, in a way.

I mean, imagine if you could feel like I do now

just for your whole life.

That'd be incredible, because you'd make the most of everything

and you'd feel like, "I'm not wasting time."

Alex is off to Swansea to catch up with Emily and her friend, Ali,

who he last saw in Australia.

After tonight, his life will never be the same again.

It was a bit of a random kiss.

It just came out of nowhere, but then I suppose

after just one kiss then we realised that there was something more.

Straight away, the next day,

you could tell that it had obviously been, you know, kind of...

They hadn't realised that those feelings were there.

Alex wanted to spend all his time going up to see Ali in Birmingham

and he wanted to be with her all the time.

I was thinking that this is the girl

I want to spend the rest of my life with.

He was saying, "I've never felt like this before, this is totally new

"and I didn't think that I'd be able to have that feeling."

I had champagne,

then candles and strawberries and chocolates and everything

waiting on the table here.

I didn't want to have the ring in my pocket during the meal,

just because you can maybe see it and I didn't want to do it in public,

in the restaurant. I knew I wanted to do it here.

I got the ring from round the back, and as the music was playing,

then took the ring over and went down on one knee

and asked her to marry me.

And luckily, she said yes.

# I'll be yours and you'll be

# Lay with me

# I'll lay with you... #

In Australia, I had a boyfriend back here.

I guess me and Alex would never look at each other that way.

Then I got home, and I don't know, it was all him.

I couldn't seem to say no to that face.

Still a bit of a dream, I haven't slept that much.

Especially before.

So, yeah, it's all of it...

Then, when you're on morphine as well,

you're checking all the time, "This is actually happening?"

Cos it's all been perfect, really.

There is no other word for it.

I'd like to propose a toast to Ali and Alex.

-To the Als. Cheers. Cheers.

-Many congratulations.

Wheeeee!

-So, how did you feel about the whole thing?

-Fantastic. Whoo!

Got it. Well done. Well done.

'My philosophy is just...'

hang on to these precious moments we've got.

And the joy they've both had this week

has been amazing to watch.

It's been lovely to watch and I think,

if you have that experience in your life, it's amazing.

When Ali announced a few weeks ago

that Alex had asked her to move to Brightwell, she was so excited.

I thought, actually, that's the right thing for her to do.

Seven minutes until you've finished in this place.

Seven minutes!

All different colours of the rainbow.

'I knew that Ali knew a lot about me

'because in Australia I had to take my medication.

'She doesn't feel the need to dwell on it too much

'which is brilliant for me. Although I don't mind talking about it,'

there isn't any need to dwell on it, because it is what it is

and we just make the best of it.

OK. Done. Remembered. It's always the lunch ones I forget.

-What next, though?

-I don't know. We haven't really spoken about the next bit.

I guess I'll move down there today and see how that goes.

And then I'm really not sure what's going to happen next.

'Even though physically and health-wise I'm still getting worse,

'things have got better.

'Having someone to share my life with has just...

'I couldn't ask for any more.'

Put the balloon in?

'It's like the relationship's been speeded up,

'a six-year relationship being put into three months.

'This person is something I can have in my life, which a few months ago, I wouldn't have considered.'

-See you next Saturday.

-Not too long.

-Thank you so much for the last few days.

-Thank YOU so much.

Bye-bye.

'The most beautiful girl in the world to me,

'and I'm going to fight for everything.

'It just gives me another thing to fight for.'

MUSIC: "Please Just Take These Photos From My Hands" by Snow Patrol

What surprises me is that he's so beguiling,

that in spite of not being the best catch in the world,

um, you know...

With having a malignant and terminal illness, really, in a way.

That somebody wants to spend the rest of that bit of his life with him.

I think that's unbelievable really. It's rather romantic.

We've got the fairy lights to make it a little bit more girly.

-Let's switch them on. There you go.

-Digital photo frame.

-You have got your teddies.

-My teddies, my special teddies.

Pictures of just us. The first night we kissed.

Probably take it down fairly soon. It's been almost two weeks.

-Two weeks? It's been way more than two weeks.

-Two and a half.

-Three weeks.

-No, cos it's Sunday and it was on a Wednesday.

Two and a half. But three weeks on Wednesday.

-So, it's been quite a while.

-Are you going to keep these, Alex?

-We can chuck those away.

-They're a bit naff.

They are pretty naff.

-You're chucking all my stuff away.

-Did somebody nice buy you those?

I've no idea where they came from.

It's just tat like all the other stuff.

It's given him a whole new lease of life.

He walks with a smile on his face when he's not in pain.

They're pretty much inseparable now, which is absolutely wonderful.

Each day that they're together is a bonus.

I don't know whether they'll get married, that is up to them.

-This is my old house.

-Oh, yeah.

Oh! Look at that doggy.

-A Springer spaniel.

-Hiya.

The fact that Ali's appeared on the scene is just wonderful.

I can't describe it in any way.

Hello. How are you?

Good.

It's given him such a boost. Who knows?

We'll see the real power of love, I guess.

We did have some mixed feelings, however I've checked out with her

that she's aware of the situation, and she is.

And all we can do,

given that they've fallen so much in love with each other,

is support them.

And take care of what we need to take care of, stage by stage.

-How's it been going having Ali around?

-It's absolutely wonderful.

We're loving having her around.

She's all freshness and light and cheerfulness.

She's making Alex really, really happy. It's just wonderful.

We're thrilled that they've found each other

and she's an amazing girl.

She's very, very strong and coping and just incredibly...

We had a very medical week this week, and she has found herself

lying in hospital beds in the middle of the night with Alex

and she seems to be taking it in her stride.

He's on a huge amount of morphine now, 500 milligrams twice a day,

and that's the limit they can get to.

Is that your coffee on the table?

Yes.

I'm really sleepy, I have very weird dreams.

I wake up and start... I started talking about mashed potato the other day.

-You started dancing...

-I started dancing and clapping.

-He was going like this.

Didn't you have a dream the other day about your hair?

-That was really funny.

-I really shouldn't talk about this.

It makes me sound like a psycho.

Basically, in my dream, the top of my hair and the sides

and the back of my hair were all having a discussion

and kind of arguing,

because the top of my hair gets more attention than the sides.

The sides are annoyed cos they don't get much attention.

Whereas the top gets much more

and is taking the mick out of the back.

I'm not a psycho, but it's the morphine.

You've got to hold both sets of hands at all times.

At all times!

THEY ALL LAUGH

Sitting, watching him talking on the sofa,

it's really hard to remember how sick he is

and that the tumours are actually everywhere now.

Through his lungs, through his spine

and I give them a hug last night

and it was the first time I... I gave him a hug

and I could feel a lump in his back.

That really brought it home to me

cos that's the first really physical manifestation of the tumour,

is that we can see it for the first time.

That was quite frightening.

But, but he just gets on with it.

And every day he does something amazing,

even if it's just getting out of bed, really, I think.

-Do you want to play...

-Yeah, If you want.

-Don't mind.

-Do you want to do two teams of three?

Or, ah...

-What about three teams of two.

-Yeah.

'He said to me when we first started going out'

that he really does believe that he's so strong

that he's going to fight this.

But if he's having a bad day, he won't feel like that so much.

I think he believes that he's gotten so far,

he's gotten a lot further than anybody thought he would.

He does just think it's going to keep going on like this,

he doesn't think it's ever going to get really bad.

I think... I hope that's what he feels

because I'd like him to not feel the opposite of that.

OK. I'm in quite a bit of pain, should I take some Oramorph, do you think?

That won't be instant relief. OK.

I might take some Oramorph. Yeah. OK. Cheers, Mum.

-Have you got a measure?

-Yeah.

Something to take your mind off it.

All you have to do... Are we going to start from a list one? Why not?

-You can fall asleep, Al, if you want.

-Thank you.

Don't worry about keeping us entertained.

I'd probably prefer it if you didn't.

I'm not very good at this anyway.

-Are we ready?

-You can roll the dice.

C. Just go for it.

I think that bit's OK. That's all right.

'He does get scared. Especially at night, he gets a little bit scared.

'That's when I have to try to be strong and be there for him.

'The other day, he was in a really bad way, curled up in bed'

and in so much pain.

So I kept saying to him, "Remember all the happy times."

I kept mentioning the first time we met in Australia

because it was pretty funny.

I'd burned my eyelids the night before,

and my eyes were really puffy and red.

And I burnt my face, so I was peeling.

I kept saying this to him,

"Think about the night we got together. Think about your lovely friends."

And that seemed to help,

he fell asleep in a couple of minutes.

So, I do try and just chat to him about silly things

to make him cheer up.

ALL: # Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday, dear Ali and Mum

# Happy birthday to you. #

Three, two, one, make a wish.

THEY CHEER

Go ahead. Go with a large slice. What have you done now, Alex?

There's quite a lot of cake.

'Alex just keeps going, and he's enjoying it.'

Love, life and laughter.

It's cheesy, but it's true.

-Did you make it?

-She made it.

THEY ALL LAUGH AND CHAT

We've done our last Christmas twice all together.

It does seem we're getting close to a third which would be great.

It would be really nice if he makes it till Christmas.

And I do hope they get married,

I do hope that... they will have time to do that.

Don't kick him and be horrid!

LAUGHTER

This whole year has been one of the best of my life,

even though you could seen it as one of the worst years

because it could be the year that I die.

It's a horrible thing to say, but you have to be honest about it.

She's got a corker of a smile.

She's gorgeous.

-Are you enjoying are having another sister?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Have you been helping your mum out taking care of her?

-Yes.

-Yeah?

-Look at that little smile.

-Aw!

Had you guessed it was going to be a girl?

-Yeah, I wanted it to be a girl.

-Did you?

You get what you want, don't you?

-Not exactly.

-Not exactly!

BABY CRIES

There you go.

She just needed a kiss from her big sister.

Might need another kiss, Jessie.

Just like my family, a baby girl, then a boy, then a girl.

-They'll get on well.

-They're probably about the same age.

Four years between them.

Sssh.

Does she smell? She's supposed to smell sweet.

Ssh.

-Oh, baby, is she hungry?

-Probably.

Sorry!

You're rubbish!

LAUGHTER

-I should put that on that finger.

-Yeah.

It's too big, though. It just falls off.

You've lost weight. You've def...

My right hand is bigger than my left one.

-He's lost weight.

-What?

I lost weight from my hand?

It's the only reason why it's sliding off so easily.

-It didn't do that before, did it?

-No.

I think when you're cold, your hands get thinner as well.

'His way of dealing with it'

is not to deny it, because I do not think he does.

I think he knows and he understands.

But he doesn't feel that he needs to live it as an illness.

He needs to live the wellness of his life.

I think that is something to do with

the kind of attitude that you have.

The glass is half-full as opposed to half-empty.

I think he sees his as not just half-full,

but there's something that makes it bubble up a bit more.

He's got a bit of froth on the top as well.

He still seems to have...

the energy and lust for life that has always been there.

And that is just a real bonus.

It keeps us going, rather than us trying to build him up,

we're probably trying to contain him a little bit

in terms of, "Perhaps you shouldn't go out

"until three o'clock in the morning,

"try and get home before midnight," type thing.

Yeah. I don't know. He just woke up and we were coming in

because he was going to have a top-up of blood.

He was feeling really bad yesterday. They think he had a chest infection

so they've given him antibiotics and he's much better today.

If he manages to get ready in time he will. Probably tomorrow.

-I decided on the 1st of May. May Day.

-That's nice.

Early summer is a lovely time to get married.

You felt strongly about getting married din a church, didn't you?

I'm not particularly religious but I'd like to get married in a church.

Alex was difficult to take to church because when he was little he didn't sit still.

Still doesn't for more than two seconds!

-Taking him to church was quite a trial.

-I'm better at sitting still.

-I kind of have to!

-You're more used to it now in the hospital.

-Yeah.

-I've just seen a pigeon.

-Fat pigeon.

I want to see the fat pigeon!

I might do some dress shopping between Christmas and New Year.

Get this idea out my head.

Planning hen do's at the moment.

But it's a secret.

You can tell me. You don't trust me, do you?

It's Christmas! You can get excited now.

Excited now, are you? Cos you don't have to work today.

-Cos you're coming home.

-Mm-hm.

KNOCK ON DOOR

-Hello.

-Hi. How are you doing?

Alex. Joe's here.

We have chatted about all the rubbish stuff

but that's something I don't think he wants me to do.

I feel he would rather I'm there maybe to help him forget about it just for an evening or something.

-Have you done all your wrapping?

-Not at all.

-Done your shopping?

Um... no. I need to get Mum and...

-Have you got a day off tomorrow?

-No. It'll be all right. I'll sort it out. I might do some tonight.

I might pop in. I never do it this early. You all right, buddy?

Yeah. Yeah, I got lots to do.

-Think my mum took it.

-What else have I got to do?

Alex's, I don't know what to do with cos it's just in an envelope.

This is where I'm taking him.

Oh, my gosh! Where?

A four-hour spa session we've got on the 23rd of January.

'Ali's been amazing for him.'

She can just be there for him and someone to confide in. And he's so positive about things.

-Just what he needs, I think.

-Does he have any idea?

-No.

-Does he know what's in that? Where was that?

-Just there.

He won't ever look for things like that. It's not very hard to hide things from him.

I think the planning of the wedding and things surrounding it

have been so good. Although it's so uncertain,

it's something he feels positive about and he's waiting for that day.

Go!

No way!

You know what it is!

Yes, thank you! Thank you!

Father Christmas.

Oh, she hasn't!

You want to make sure it's a great time

and you have the best time,

but you don't want to be thinking,

"Let's make this the best time to have because it might be the last."

That's in your head somewhere, so you want to make sure it's special.

But you don't want to be thinking that.

Overcompensate for that special skill!

LAUGHTER

They all feel like poignant moments because they're things you'll remember for the rest of your life.

You're trying to take everything in but you don't want to be trying to turn it into a dramatic story.

You just want to be there and enjoy it.

INAUDIBLE

Oh, no! I don't know how to react now!

-Is that it?!

-A piece of paper, yay!

-A blank piece of paper.

-That's the reaction.

-It's in a standard size!

Oh!

Since everything's happened with Ali,

which I think is fantastic and I'll never think anything else,

I suppose I feel worse that he's going to die,

because he's got this and it's not going to last forever.

I guess also because it's just more people to be heartbroken when he does go.

Although I'm thrilled for them,

and they're so happy and that's brilliant, I'm acutely aware

that it's more heartbreak for everybody and more heartbreak for more people.

MUSIC: "Smooth Criminal" by Michael Jackson

I'm knackered.

ALL: Whoooa!

-Where is it?

-What?

-My dress.

-I couldn't see it.

I like the shape of it. There's something I can't... Maybe it's the...

D'you like my dress?

-You OK?

-Yeah.

-Knackered. Want to sit down?

-Yeah.

Thanks for coming in.

-Pleased to meet you! I'm Heather.

-This is Heather.

-Beautiful bride.

-Yeah, isn't she?

The bridesmaids aren't too bad!

LAUGHTER

It's hard to do. With this one, ivory, possibly, and this would be navy.

I really like that one.

Good choice!

LAUGHTER

I don't know why. That's the one that jumps out at me.

I quite like the, um... HE COUGHS

what do you call it?

The sash?

No, no, the, er...

Ruching?

-Yeah.

-Don't know if that's the right word.

I just think these are a bit more "our age" than this,

-I don't know why.

-Yeah.

So have you decided?

My dress? 100%. It's done. I've got no doubts.

-Here?

-Here.

-That's amazing.

-That's amazing.

-Do you want to try and pick it? I'm joking.

I quite like that poofy one.

LAUGHTER

The one with the roses?

LAUGHTER

Uh-oh!

LAUGHTER

Here we go.

How you feeling, John? You going to win this?

Yeeeah!

-Oh, my God.

-It's last now.

-Oh, you're joking.

-I won 30p on one race.

-30p?

The thing about betting for me is,

-all the pounds I put on at Christmas, I've lost tonight.

-Ba-boom.

Yes, yes, yes!

LAUGHTER

I'm £18 up. I don't know what I'll get for this, though.

I cannot believe you won again.

-How much did you put on? >

-Three quid.

-What, on place or on first?

-On place, but it's 2-1.

It's all right, mate.

When you first became ill I had no idea what to do, what to think,

and it's hit me really hard.

Now it's four years on and I'm about to go to Australia

and thinking about the fact that...

I may, like, never see you again and stuff

and when I think about that, it's the toughest thing ever.

Erm...

There are things I want to tell you.

You're the best mate I'm ever going to have

and I'm going to miss you so much.

Erm...

You're my boy. But...

Yeah.

ALL: Hello!

Look at this! >

-What do you reckon?

-Oh, it's lovely.

So amazing, so many lights.

It's looking good in here, isn't it? Really nice.

'It's going to be nice, cos obviously, with Alex's situation,

'it's going to be lovely to see him get to do it.

'I know it's all been really quick and we all understand why it's happened,'

but I'm really happy for him.

We want to celebrate and show them both how special they are, really.

'It's a real happy occasion.

'I know there's been plenty over the years of happy occasions with Alex,'

but recently not so many, so I think it'll just be nice for us

all to get together and be happy.

Just think about that one day.

Oh, my God!

-Are we going to make this one top table?

-Yeah. That's great, yeah.

-Is it close enough to the toilet for Alex, though?

-He won't need it.

-He won't need it?

-So how's Al doing at the moment?

-Er... Not well.

Not well.

Well, he's paraplegic now, really.

I suppose it started up last week and...

it's just progressed rather rapidly...

..this week.

So, erm...

the poor lad can't stand, can't feel his legs at all now.

We managed to get hold of some IVs

and so he was able to stay at home, which of course is the other thing.

Always one for a party and always want to be at home,

not wanting to go into hospital.

-This is the weekend phone.

-OK.

So you don't have to go through the out-of-hours thing, you just need to get in touch with this...

I said, "We're getting help with the barn and little bits and pieces," and he said, "Let's do it!

"Yeah!" Woo, OK! Makes it worthwhile, really, doesn't it,

if you feel like he's really, really wanting to do it?

-Even though he's so weak, he's just determined.

-Yeah, determined.

I've got a spare wheelchair here, I'm going to take it outside, out the way.

Thank you.

It's quite a light show David's organising there at the barn.

-It's going to look great.

-Who's that?

Jordan and Ross are there.

And cos Ross is fairly tall, we're getting him reaching up.

He's showing off a little bit, you know.

-But you know what he's like.

-Of course he is.

-I feel bad that I can't help.

-You what, mate?

-I feel bad that I can't help.

-Yeah.

-I would like to.

-Yeah.

HE MURMURS Em...

-Oh, Emily was there.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

I can't believe it's Friday.

I can't believe we're getting married tomorrow.

# He's getting married in the morning... #

INAUDIBLE

-And you are 22 tomorrow, right?

-Yes.

-Is that your 22nd birthday?

22, yeah. Not sure what time.

Not sure if I'll be married by the time I'm 22.

Thank you.

OK.

Say goodbye. "Goodbye. See you tomorrow.

MUSIC: "Lily Maebelle" by The Valentines

Testing.

I'm informed the groom's going to be a little bit late.

So I need to inflict my stand-up routine on you, I'm afraid.

And it goes something like,

how do you make holy water?

How do you make holy water? Anybody?

Nod if you know it, please.

LAUGHTER

A lot of you people here might know this.

You boil the hell out of it. Boil the hell out of it.

LAUGHTER

And that's it, I'm afraid.

-QUIETLY: My voice is a little bit...

-OK.

It's difficult to get the words out.

Well, I will speak them first

so you just follow on the best you can.

Will you stand for the bride?

MUSIC: "Die Hochzeit" by Wagner

Come a bit closer.

Come a bit closer.

Phew. Welcome. Let's get under way.

I think it's a bit like being in an aircraft

and not having flown the plane for a while.

I can do a sort of exit routine.

It's a kind of a steward...

That would be to point towards the south door, which is open,

if you feel at any point on the flight you need some oxygen.

LAUGHTER

I'm dropping clangers this big and bigger throughout this service,

so bear with me.

I thought I might go to the pulpit for a change.

And so on this your birthday, Alex,

and for both, the day of your marriage,

it would seem a good moment to reflect on gifts.

And the greatest gift, which is simply love.

Now I know that both have many other gifts.

Ali is, allegedly, a great netball player.

LAUGHTER

I hope I got that right.

LAUGHTER

I could be wrong!

There was some sporting achievement she was telling me about.

And Alex, Alex holds the record with Josh

for the greatest number of headers between two individuals

in the entire realm of Brightwell-cum-Sotwell.

LAUGHTER

But believe it or not, there are greater gifts.

Like keeping up friendships.

Like staying positive in dark places.

Like keeping relationships alive through thick and thin.

Say these words after me.

I, Alexander Samuel Weston, take you, Alison Linda...

I, Alexander Samuel Weston, take you, Alison Linda...

-..to be my wife.

-..to be my wife.

-To have and to hold...

-To have and to hold...

-..from this day forward...

-..from this day forward...

-..for better, for worse...

-..for better, for worse...

-..for richer, for poorer...

-..for richer, for poorer...

-..in sickness and in health...

-..in sickness and in health...

-..to love and to cherish...

-..to love and to cherish...

..for the rest of our lives together...

..for the rest of our lives together...

-..according to God's holy law.

-..according to God's...holy law.

-In the presence of God...

-In the presence of God...

-..I make this vow.

-..I make this vow.

(Well done.)

(All the way down.)

It fits, it fits!

LAUGHTER

Hold it there.

Those whom God has joined together let no-one put asunder.

Shall we give them a round of applause?

CHEERING

Hey, guys. I've forgotten a crucial part of the service.

Are you ready?

Alexander, you may kiss the bride.

CONGREGATION: Yeah!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Amen.

FEMALE CHORIST SINGS

That's fantastic.

Really! That's wonderful.

Well done.

Nice to see you.

He wouldn't let me kiss my bride!

Happy birthday!

Three, two, one!

CHURCH BELLS PEAL

HORN HONKS

I am joined Emily in Swansea for a reunion on 4th June.

Once in, I don't think we ever left each other's side

and after a few fair rounds, my need to kiss her overwhelmed me.

All those feelings from Australia came flooding back into a new realisation.

I was in love. And it was for good.

As everyone here knows and can plainly see,

I have not been well for some time and have continued to deteriorate recently.

Nonetheless, Ali has supported me in every way, every second of every day.

I just again wanted to say thank you to my beautiful wife

for making me the happiest man alive.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

To the marriage of Ali and Alex.

ALL: Ali and Alex!

DISCO MUSIC

WHOOPING AND CHEERING

MUSIC: "Everywhere" by Fleetwood Mac

# Can you hear me calling

# Out your name

# You know that I'm falling

# And I don't know what to say

# I'll speak a little louder

# I'll even shout

# You know that I'm proud

# And I can't get the words out

# Oh I...

# I want to be with you everywhere

# Oh I...

# I want to be with you everywhere... #

The day after the wedding was a really difficult day, wasn't it?

Because I think very suddenly he was very sick,

and I don't think we expected it that fast.

And it was a day of really sitting round his bedside,

and about seven o'clock in the evening he just woke up and went, "What are you all doing here?"

"Oh, nothing, Alex. No idea, really."

He deteriorated quite quickly then, and on Wednesday he just told us all

that he'd had enough and that he wanted to finish things,

that he was struggling for every breath and it was really hard for him.

And, erm...you know, in his usual manner,

he arranged that and went in 24 hours,

and managed, you know, to be peaceful and content

and make it easy as he possibly could for all of us,

which is just the way he did things, isn't it?

We were all round, chatting, and we got used to the sound

of Alex's breathing through the oxygen mask,

and then suddenly everybody noticed it wasn't happening any more.

It's like, you know, you get used to a sound and when it stops, you noticed it.

His face naturally fell into a smile.

Not a big beam, just that contented smile.

-He looked peaceful.

-He did look peaceful.

We found, I think it was underneath the sofa,

I have to no idea why he wrote it or why it was there,

but it's definitely his scrawny handwriting.

It said, "My life is perfect right now!

"To say that is almost harder than saying the opposite,

"because of what I could do if I survived.

"But how many people can say that on their deathbed?

"I am a lucky man!"

That sums Alex up, I think.

Dancing in the rain.

I go from being absolutely fine in the day,

it's usually the night-time where I feel a bit down.

I think it's because maybe going to bed and Alex not being there

is when it really sinks in, I think.

But we are doing a lot better than any of us ever thought we would.

It makes you realise you can go through anything now, it really does.

I don't think I could experience anything more difficult than this,

so that's the positive you've got to take from it.

Yeah.

He told us how much he loved us all and how incredible his life has been,

and he felt like he had a complete life,

even though it was a shortened-down version.

He said, "I can't believe I'm only realising it now,

"but you are my gezellig."

I haven't pronounced that right, I don't know where all the accents go.

That's when I said to him,

"How would you feel if I got that tattooed on myself?"

And he got really excited about it and was like,

"Oh my God, that's amazing, please do that!"

I'll show it to you.

My one and only, never get another one.

No, Sam says he can do it on his own.

The fact that it's in the flower bed and things like that...

-How many people does it take to put up a gazebo? 18?

-Obviously more than four.

Right, so that it doesn't fall apart...

Where's George?

-All aboard.

-It's nice to see you.

It's supposed to be big enough to fit a Range Rover under it.

Yes, from my SAS days.

That's it, that's it!

You don't need to pull that,

it's going to click when it gets to the thing.

That's what I said, "Am I too high?"

Since Alex has been and gone, it's almost as though he's been

on a long holiday, a bit like Joe, really, in a funny sort of way.

So it is kind of difficult to think, to feel of him as if he's gone.

I still, because he was here so much,

I often have a sense of him here when I'm doing things,

and I guess that's almost a daily kind of feeling.

But he is, in many ways, still here.

I was thinking, actually, now it's piddling with rain,

and we just got this barbecue sorted out,

and I was looking at the pool with the top on,

of course, he'd be in there by now,

would have been in already for half an hour

and making lots of noise in spite of the rain and everything else.

No!

# Strain this chaos

# Turn it into light

# I've gotta see you one last night

# Before the lions take their share

# Just give me a chance to hold on

# Just give me a chance to hold on... #