Changing Minds Child of Our Time

BABY CRIES

BABY LAUGHS

In the year 2000, the BBC began a remarkable experiment

to follow the lives of 25 babies from across the UK.

And we've been filming them ever since.

As they took their first steps...

CHEERING AND LAUGHING

..started school...

..moved house

and made friends.

It was a quest to find out what makes us who we are.

Nature or nurture?

In this series, our group are turning 16.

As they step out into the adult world,

everything is changing.

Whoo!

# Yeah

# We're happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time... #

Being 16 freaks me out.

Like, I'm not an adult. I'm not ready to be an adult yet.

# It's time. #

-ALL:

-One, two, three, Esher!

CHEERING

As they reach this milestone,

I'll be joined by clinical psychologist Tanya Byron...

THEY CHEER ..who works with teenagers.

I'll be revealing why being 16 is such a turbulent time.

I think they've had enough now.

I'll be finding out about the incredible new science

that shows how teenagers are being affected by huge changes

going on in their brains.

I mean, look, we've got Blackpool Tower in there, the pleasure centre.

That's your brain, Matt.

And looking at the massive impact of growing up in a world

that is radically different to their parents'.

I spend a lot more time talking to people on social media

than I do in real life.

It's a perfect storm.

Society, physical changes, hormonal changes, and brain changes.

So join us as we say goodbye to the children we knew...

..and say hello to the teenagers that they've become.

Over the last 16 years,

we've watched our children grow throughout their childhood.

But in the last few years, they've all undergone

an extraordinary physical transformation.

# I'm coming out

# I want the world to know

# Got to let it show. #

He was just a little boy.

And then suddenly, in the last year, he's really shot up.

Which, obviously... Also with his voice,

his voice has changed as well.

And I've got to the point sometimes

where I hear this really deep voice in the house, and I'll think,

"Oh, my God, there's a strange man in the house!"

Powerful surges of hormones are turning the boys into young men.

He's taking more care of himself

because there's ladies.

Lots of ladies.

And the girls have turned into young women.

Well, I've got taller since the last time you filmed, definitely.

And I've grown some boobs.

She's a woman. She's, you know...

She's got that youthfulness about her, which is really depressing!

As they grow into their adult bodies,

changes are happening in their brains, too.

It's almost like I've just transformed

into an entirely different person.

..preparing them for the adult world to come.

And he pulls out this, like, turquoise orange...

No-one captures these brain changes better than Matt.

And I was like, "Oh, Joe!"

# Do-re-mi, do-re-mi... #

Growing up in Surrey with his parents, Kathryn and Graham,

and older brother, Rob, he always seemed the shyest of our children.

-Right, Emile?

-Yes.

-Jade?

-Yes.

Matthew?

Are you here, darling?

Can you answer, darling?

-HE WHISPERS:

-No.

Matthew, when he first started, he was very quiet

and hardly spoke at all.

He is shy, but it's not really shy because he's scared of things,

it's more that he's a very gentle child.

Which one shall we have a look at?

He was often hesitant to explore and try things out.

He's a bit reluctant to let go of his dad.

So, the impression that we get is of quite an anxious little boy.

Where shall I sit down? Where do you want me to sit down?

When he was three, we tested how he coped with new situations,

and he was unusually timid.

I think his reaction is extraordinary, isn't it?

Here he is, in this garden of earthly delights,

and he's not taking any of the fruit.

He just doesn't have the confidence

to go off and explore it by himself.

This is a pattern that continued throughout his childhood.

So you're going to come out and have a game with him?

All right. What do you fancy doing next?

-Lego.

-Hm?

-Lego.

-Lego?

Can we do something outside when it's nice and sunny?

We can do Lego outside.

-Lego outside?

-Yeah.

At 16, Matt has a very different attitude to life.

CHEERING

Suddenly it was completely out of my control,

in terms of just him wanting to go off to parties.

And so full-on.

And he'd be like, "Right, next week, I'm doing this on Friday night,

"that on Saturday night," you know,

"And I'm staying at this person's house."

And half the people I didn't know at all!

He's quite a hedonist. He's a very party animal.

Joe, do you want a drink?

'Most weekends we'll go to, like, parties and stuff.'

-Cheers, Sammy.

-That's all right.

Last night, I went to a party and there were about 60 people there.

Can we order some more drinks?

The what?

He just has a go at everything,

particularly like adrenaline-fuelled sports.

He's definitely a thrill seeker.

BELL RINGS

I really like extreme sport.

How did you find it?

It's good, yeah.

'I feel really excited.'

You just, like, run off the edge of a mountain, like,

-with the parachute on you. Just like, "Nope!"

-Whee!

And then, like, you feel the parachute.

It's really fun. Crazy.

So what's behind this new love of thrills?

There's no doubt that Matt's upbringing has played a part.

His parents have given him a secure base

to allow him to explore the world.

'Although he is ready to sort of embrace the world,

'it's like he will do it in his own little way and in his own time.

'I think it's very important for him to be, you know, away from us.'

Goodbye. Shall I ring you later?

-Nope.

-To say good night?

-No.

-Oh, can't I ring you, please?

-No, no.

-Oh, please?

-No!

And encouraging his love of sport has opened up opportunities

to develop friendships and his confidence.

-Yay!

-Well done. Superb, well done.

And what's your favourite position, then?

-Do you like defence, attack?

-Striker.

CHEERING

But Matt's transformation is far greater

than just gaining more confidence.

'New science is revealing an extraordinary change

'happening deep inside the brain of every teenager.'

What we want to look at today is both of your brains

and then compare the differences.

And what we're particularly going to look at is the part of the brain

that is involved with how we register pleasure.

The pleasure centre of the brain.

Whilst inside an MRI scanner, Matt and his dad, Graham,

will be given a shot of delicious sugary syrup.

You'll get a little bit of liquid.

And, please, don't suck on it.

OK, first scan starting now.

The sweetness will stimulate the walnut-sized part of the brain

called the nucleus accumbens,

otherwise known as the pleasure centre.

OK, so we're going to start the study now.

It's here that our feelings of excitement come from.

Surges of the hormone testosterone,

that transforms boys' bodies during puberty,

also acts on the brain of both boys and girls.

OK, we're all finished and I'm coming to get you out.

And the effects can be explosive.

So we've got Matt's brain here on the left,

we've got Graham's brain here on the right.

So let's now see how that area responds

while you're drinking that sugar syrup.

You can actually see in your brains this really big difference.

I mean, look, we've got Blackpool Tower in there,

the pleasure centre there.

-That's your brain, Matt.

-Yeah.

Graham, bit of a damp squib.

THEY LAUGH

But you enjoyed the sugar, but we're not seeing that.

So mine didn't respond at all to the sugar?

-HOLLY:

-Yours did not respond at all.

What we know is, in teenagers, you crave pleasure more,

you seek pleasure more and, when you have pleasure,

you experience it more intensely than we do as adults.

These differences in the way the adolescent brain reacts to pleasure

may explain why so many teens have such an appetite for fun.

-ALL:

-One, two, three, Esher!

They quite literally feel things more strongly

than at any other time in their lives.

Whether it's having a drink or falling through the sky,

nothing feels as thrilling as when we're 16.

I think that's good, yeah.

THEY LAUGH

The idea that the teenage brain is different from the adult brain

is really surprising.

Because it's developing, the brain of a teenager functions differently,

and this explains some other big changes in our teens,

like becoming more self-conscious.

SHEEP BLEAT

For Megan in South Wales,

this has brought about a very obvious transformation.

Yeah!

She's grown up helping her parents, Gaynor and Rhodri,

on a busy working farm.

I like chasing them,

because they always be scared.

We, um...

We don't go away much.

We're on 24/7 beck and call, at the end of the phone.

There's so much to do, really.

She's been brought up to be active and practical.

Look at these toys!

Come on, then. Which toy are you going to go for?

But, even from the earliest age,

her rejection of anything she thought of as too girlie

seemed to be part of her nature.

Obviously, the tomboy instinct reigns!

Megan continued to be a tomboy throughout her childhood.

I'm the dad!

I like holding them, because they slither over my hands,

and they make them all nice and clean.

SHE LAUGHS

I'm tomboy and Rhys is a girlie girl!

She never worried about anything like her clothes or her appearance.

It's quite boring, choosing clothes all morning

and then you waste out all your day.

You went fishing or something.

And she felt the same when we last filmed her at 12.

I'm not one to wear dresses, but...

-BOTH:

-Whirl, s-s-s!

She was a bit of a tomboy and nothing ever matched

and she wasn't...

You know, she didn't care what she looked like

and she was right ragamuffin.

Oh, they're so cute!

But she's changed so much.

Yeah, I heard Claire's was really good

-for, like, Gatsby headpieces.

-It is.

She's very much conscious about how she looks and stuff now,

compared to how she was.

So this is more me.

Now she's 16, being a tomboy is a distant memory

as she gets ready for a party with her friends.

I think it'll be quite nice to have, like,

a party where everyone, like, dresses up.

Are you wearing pearls?

'Cos it's, like, a Gatsby theme.

'So it's, like, black-tie and gold and silver and sparkly.'

-If I go like that...

-Yeah. Oh, that looks so pretty.

Ooh!

Ooh, that's nice.

-What is it?

-I don't know.

I feel like a princess.

I'm just sat here, in my dressing gown.

Megan's new-found attention to her looks is normal.

All our teenagers are more concerned with their appearance

and their body image than they ever were as children.

Back when they were seven,

we asked all of them how they felt about their bodies.

First, they told us which of these images was most like them.

So which of these body shapes is most like yours?

And then we asked them whether

they'd prefer to look like any of the others.

A.

On the whole, they were happy with the way they were,

or just didn't care.

I don't know.

At 16, they're much more critical of their appearance.

Which one looks the skinniest?

Er, that one.

Yeah, D.

I'd say D's most like mine, not very much muscle, but a tiny bit.

Probably that one.

Cos I'm, like, really skinny.

Unlike when they were seven, given the choice,

most of them would prefer a different body.

That one.

Yeah, I'd like to be taller,

less fat.

I guess B or C.

I'd prefer myself with a slimmer frame.

I am a bit too skinny.

I'd just like to be able to put on a bit more weight myself,

cos, like, sometimes being called anorexic, it's not too great.

We all know that teenagers are more self-conscious,

but science is revealing why.

It seems this could be down to a particular change in their brains.

When we do experiments with adults and teenagers, if we scan your brain

and ask you to think about other people judging you,

we see this huge amount of activity in the front part of a teenage brain

much, much more than in the front part of an adult's brain.

This is the prefrontal cortex.

It's to do with how we perceive others

and how we think others perceive us.

And at your age, the prefrontal cortex, the front of the brain,

is undergoing massive, massive changes.

And while it's changing,

it's much more active so that you would get quite obsessed

with what other people think about you.

Alongside these brain changes,

there's something unique about this generation of teens

that's fuelling a preoccupation with their appearance.

They're growing up in a world of smartphones and social media,

where they're constantly posting selfies,

which are then judged by others.

# Sometimes I hate myself

# Sometimes I love myself... #

The combination of a world obsessed with selfies

and a brain extra-sensitive to the judgment of others

means that it's no surprise that today's teenagers

are preoccupied with how they look.

And, at 16,

there's another important reason for wanting to be attractive to others.

Everyone is, like, obsessed with getting a boyfriend,

getting with someone, being in a relationship and all that.

Like, who did something with who and who kissed who?

And that's like... Everyone talks about it.

I think, at 16, some people, probably most people,

are ready in some way to have a, sort of, more physical relationship.

Charlie is one of the first of our teenagers

to be in a long-term relationship.

I can't bend like that.

She's been with boyfriend Paddy for eight months.

We was at a party.

We was just talking and then...

I can't remember what actually happened,

but she threw Coke over me.

You was eyeing up different people.

And then, I thought, "No."

Took me a while to forgive her.

Aw!

After the party, he invited me round his on Valentine's Day

and he like kissed me on the head and I just looked up at him

and then he just kissed me. I was like, "OK."

It was fun.

It's a relationship her mum, Toni, is concerned about,

because, when she was 16, she was already pregnant with Charlie.

Let me change your nappy first.

She had no contact with Charlie's father, just a teenager himself.

It's a pattern she's seen repeat through the generations.

My great-nan had my nan at 21,

and then my nan had my mum at 17,

my mum had me at 21,

I had Charlie at 17.

'So I'm hoping Charlie will be 21 or older.

'That is the plan.'

Toni went on to have three more children after Charlie.

Against all the odds, she re-sat her GCSEs

and eventually built up a successful career as a nurse.

But life was tough as a young mother.

We haven't physically got the time to concentrate solely

on doing activities with the children, because we have to work

at least six days out of seven just to live.

Seeing her mum struggle influenced how Charlie saw her own future.

When I grow up, I would like to be a vet.

I would like a big house, have a couple of pets

and no children.

Toni hopes that Charlie has the opportunity

to get what she wants from life.

I would be gutted if she fell pregnant now

or any time before she's 20,

because I want her to do all the things I didn't.

'I'm working on the basis I'll have a future with Charlie.

'I haven't got a lot to offer, but I'll try.

'It's the first girl I've actually loved, like, properly.'

Makes you feel, like, special and wanted by someone.

It's nice, I like it.

The teenagers' feeling of first love is so powerful

because of the combination of surging sex hormones

acting on brains that are extra-sensitive to pleasure.

It's a recipe for one thing.

I have spoke to Charlie in the summer.

We spoke about sex

and then, a few weeks down the line,

Charlie was honest with me and said that, actually,

she had a couple of times and I said, you know,

not to be ashamed of it if that's how you feel about each other.

It is nice when you meet the right person,

as long as I know that you're safe.

You all right?

I'm going to cry.

I felt, actually at that point,

it wasn't a mother-daughter conversation.

It was on a level -

"Let's talk about the realistic side of this

"and how we're going to move forward."

# Let's go all the way tonight

# No regrets... #

A third of teenagers will have lost their virginity

by the time they're 16,

which isn't much different from their parents.

But teen pregnancies are at an all-time low,

and some research suggests this generation is having less sex

with fewer partners than their parents did.

When I was younger, sex was just kind of,

"Let's just try that," and now it's more kind of,

"Oh, I've found a mate and I'm going to stick with him."

She does get it and she does say to me,

"I don't want kids until I'm married," so...

..fingers crossed.

I'm not saying that mum was stupid for doing it.

Well, she was at that age, but I'm here.

But I wouldn't...

like, be silly like that.

The sexual feelings that emerge during puberty

can make for a confusing time.

Two years ago, Eve had something big to tell her dad.

'I was scared of telling my dad, I mean,

'cos I'd only just found out.

'Like, I waited a few months to tell my dad, because I was scared.'

So I was going to, like, write him a note.

I remember I wrote him a note and I put it in a bottle

and I put it in his room and he just didn't find it!

For, like, three days, I left this note there

and he just didn't look at it, so I took it out and I was like,

"You know what? I won't do that. I'll tell him." So I called him.

It was late. I was driving back at 11 o'clock at night,

and my phone went.

So, I answer it...

..and she comes on and she just says...

Er...

"I want to tell you something, but I don't want to talk about it."

So, I'm like, "Right...?"

And, um...

I said, "OK, go on, then."

-And she said...

-"Dad?" And he went, "Yeah?"

And I was like, "I'm gay." And then I put the phone down.

Coming to terms with being gay has been a big journey for Eve.

She spent much of her childhood

living on a Christian retreat in Worcestershire.

Bunny ears!

So her early life was shaped by strong traditional beliefs

about relationships and family.

Dear Lord, God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy,

God bless Holly and God bless me,

and please help me and just be round my bed and me to have no bad dreams.

Amen.

Aged eight, her world was turned upside down

when she lost her mother, Caroline, to cancer.

-Feeling a bit sad?

-A bit.

But I prefer writing to her just as if she's on a long holiday.

Yeah.

Well, she really is,

because I'm going to get there eventually, aren't I?

Isn't it, don't you keep asking questions until you get a no?

Oh! Oh, Tim!

Last year, her dad, Tim, remarried.

So Eve now has a stepsister, Rosie...

..and a supportive stepmother, Pam.

LAUGHTER

There's been a lot of change for Eve in the last few years.

Am I alive?

It's not surprising it took her a little while

to come to terms with her sexuality.

-No, not...

-Not you, personally.

I think I had probably, like, known something was slightly different.

You know, when you're 11 and everybody's talking about

having crushes on boys, you have no idea what they mean.

But when I was 13 or 14, I kind of realised that the way they

were talking about boys was the same way that I'd sort of been...

thinking about all my best friends.

I'd had crushes and just not realised.

I hadn't been paying attention, really, to the way I was feeling.

And that was quite scary to think about originally,

because I didn't know anyone else who was like that.

I'd not seen it on TV or anything.

I didn't realise that it was a thing.

And then later, when I just turned 14,

I was reading about relationships and I came across the word lesbian

and I thought, "Oh, my gosh, why did I not know there was a word for it?

"I didn't know other people were like this." So it was thrilling.

It was such a sigh of relief and straight after that,

I told everyone.

My first thought was, "Well, thank God she's not pregnant,"

then, as far as I'm concerned, all that she needs to know

is that it's not a problem.

What her sexual orientation is or what sexual identity she has

isn't the issue, it's whether she's able to take that

where she wants to take it

and live a happy and fulfilled life with that.

He sent me a long message about how it didn't matter

and that he still loved me and everything.

And then at the bottom, he put,

"Remember I'm the coolest dad in the world, lol."

And it was funny.

I've got the message somewhere, saved.

As Eve's grown-up,

there's been a huge change in attitude to being gay.

The age of consent is now the same as it is for straight sex,

and same-sex marriage has been legalised.

He doesn't like the mud. He's trying to get out of the mud.

A generation ago, the average age for young people

to tell friends and family they were gay was 25.

But today, it's 16.

I told you in the changing rooms,

which is not the best scenario to have chosen to tell you.

But you were like, "Oh.

"I mean, I was pretty sure you were anyway."

I remember someone saying, "I'm not inviting her to my sleepover,

"because I'm scared she's going to watch me get changed."

'Finding relationships is difficult,

'so I've not had a serious relationship ever.

'I have been out with one lesbian, which didn't last long.

'Like, less than a week.'

SHE LAUGHS

And I've basically exhausted all my options for people my age already,

and I've only been out with one person.

Eve has found one way to connect with other gay teenagers.

While social media might be a source of pressure for some teens,

it's a lifeline for Eve.

Eve spends a lot of time on the internet.

The dominant part of her social life is virtual.

It's almost as if it's a safety net...

..for people who might not have a great social life.

It gives them another option.

The internet's definitely somewhere where I am content.

A lot of the friends I have who are gay are online,

just because it's the easiest place

to, like, find people who are similar to you.

My time will come. I'm confident about that.

Next year, you'll come visit and I'll have a girlfriend,

probably, maybe. I don't know.

The new digital world means teenagers can explore

the rocky road of love in ways their parents could never have imagined

a generation ago.

This urge to experiment and explore is part of being 16.

Teenagers are biologically driven to experiment.

The exciting cocktail of sex hormones

and a brain stimulated by thrills

means that they're irresistibly drawn

to love, sex and other temptations.

Back in South Wales,

Megan is getting ready to celebrate her 16th birthday

in the barn on her parents' farm.

Before even my 15th birthday,

I'd already booked my 16th birthday party in the barn,

because I wanted to do something big for my 16th.

It'll be the first grown-up style party she's had

and many of her friends will be bringing their own alcohol.

The whole idea of a party has been redefined by this age,

where it's more focused around drinking and alcohol.

I think everybody has to experiment in parties,

like, trying out and testing your...

alcohol limits.

I think you learn from your mistakes.

Having a party at home means Megan's parents can keep an eye on things.

There is an element of alcohol involved very often.

We're quite relaxed, or...

..lenient in that respect.

Yeah. I'd sooner they... If they are going to experiment with drinking,

that they do it under supervision

and not when they go to a big town or a city.

Learning to take risks responsibly

is something Megan has always been encouraged to do.

Oh, whoops!

Whoops-a-daisy!

When Megan falls over, I don't make a fuss,

unless there's blood pouring from everywhere.

I've never put a stair gate up. I'm not a believer in stair gates.

They've got to learn by their own mistakes.

They've got to learn by their own little experiments.

Come on, Megan.

I can't abide children that are constantly, "Oh, I've got an owie."

Oh, that does my head in.

And it's not just at home that Megan's learnt to look after itself.

There's dangers in anything,

whether you went to Legoland and fell off a ride there

or whether you got knocked over by a sheep.

We try and be safe. We try and keep them out of danger.

We know where the sheep are going to run and things, so...

Yeah, there is an element of danger whatever you do.

Ready, go.

-Turn!

-Meg, look where you're going out the big window.

CAR HORN BEEPS

Megan's also grown-up taking responsibility for herself

in other ways.

5, 35.

She's always been expected to pull her weight on the farm.

Are you going to carry it to the car?

There's a pound for parking.

-There you, then. Thank you.

-Thank you.

As a result of her upbringing,

Megan is unfazed by putting on her own party.

Megan won't let anybody get involved.

She just takes all the planning under her own wing

and she will organise the whole lot.

She's organised the DJ, she's made a cake.

After months of planning, the big night has finally arrived.

Megan hopes it'll be a night to remember.

CORK POPS

THEY CHEER

# I just came to say hello. #

Perfect!

Right, we're all going to sing a birthday, a happy birthday to Megan.

CHEERING

# Happy birthday...

# ..to you! #

WHISTLING AND CHEERING

# I want to run away

# I want to run away... #

Very soon, the teenage instinct for hedonism

and the search for thrills kicks in.

# I want to run away

# Just you... #

After just half an hour, the night's supply of alcohol has been drunk.

I am trying to give them water to diffuse loads of alcohol.

We feel it's better that they do learn from a young age, really.

All right. Good stuff.

Otherwise, it hits them all in one go

and they just rebel against the whole way they were brought up.

I think they've had enough now.

Whilst teenage brains are wired to experiment and push the boundaries,

today's teens are probably more sober and sensible

than their parents were.

But like every teenager that's lived before them,

they're more likely to go overboard if their friends are doing the same.

Better out than in!

I'd say my friends probably have more influence than my family.

Friendship groups, there's a lot of pressure in there

and stuff like that.

I'd probably get pressured to drink even if I didn't want to.

Seems to be, as you get older, your friends pay a lot bigger part

in your life than they did.

So, the kind of decisions that they make will definitely influence.

One of those things, you have to fit in or, like,

you just get pushed out.

Teenagers may feel that peer pressure comes from other people,

but new research is revealing, once again,

that it's also linked to changes happening in their brains.

Here at the science Museum in London,

researchers are investigating how teenagers' assessment of risk

is affected by what others think.

We ask to rate the riskiness of everyday situations,

like just crossing a street on a red light or cycling without a helmet.

Would you change the rating of the risk of a situation

if other people tell you it's risky or it's not risky?

Teenagers are asked to rate on a sliding scale

how risky they think different situations are.

They are then told what other teenagers thought

and asked to assess the risk again.

The results are showing that young adolescents

are over three times more likely to conform to what their peers think

than adults do.

If you ask teenagers, they're well aware of the risk of situations

and it seems to be really

that the social context is triggering their behaviour.

You don't want to be the one that's different from the other people.

You don't want to be the weird person.

Using the latest scanning techniques,

scientists have discovered that there is heightened activity

in the brain's pleasure centre when teenagers are making risky decisions

in front of their friends.

This, combined with more activity in the prefrontal cortex -

the part that makes us so sensitive to others' opinions -

may explain why teens are more likely to succumb to peer pressure.

Once again, their brains just can't help it.

Peer pressure isn't just from the outside -

it's from within, too.

Taking risks in the presence of friends

makes the brain's pleasure centre fire even more strongly

and, sometimes, this combination can have dangerous consequences.

In January 2016, Jamie Craven was out with his friends.

Jamie did get in with a bad lot.

They were known to be naughty lads,

who did stupid things.

Um...

They have been previously in trouble with the police.

I knew some of them were on drugs.

That was frightening.

That night, he didn't come home.

Jamie is diabetic and, without his insulin,

his mum knew he could go into a coma.

Scared for his safety, she posted a cry for help on social media.

-Mummy.

-You big boy...

Jamie was four-years-old when he was diagnosed with type one diabetes.

No! Not that one!

It meant a childhood learning to cope with daily blood tests,

injections, and a very careful diet.

I need some breakfast before I go to bed.

Breakfast before you go to bed?

Yeah, yeah, because that's me...

That makes me better.

Over the years, Jamie and his mother

have learned together to manage his condition,

but, when we filmed with them in 2012,

Sharon was beginning to worry about the dangers that might lie ahead.

I do worry, also, about when he gets a bit older and he starts drinking.

That's my next hurdle, I think,

and I am not looking forward to that one at all.

Sharon's fears were realised in January,

when Jamie returned home drunk,

24 hours after going missing and passing out.

I didn't know what was wrong with him

when I first went into his bedroom.

He wasn't responsive, and then, all of a sudden, he just went blank,

and he started fitting.

And I...

tried to shake him to bring him round,

because I'd never seen this before,

so I hadn't a clue what was going on.

And then it was obvious to me that...

he was in a coma - a diabetic coma.

I thought, "Right, you need to get sugar in him,"

so I was rubbing jam in his gums, inside his mouth.

Whilst I was doing that, I was on the phone to the paramedics.

It's somebody's life,

and it... It's frightening that, "Oh, my God,

"I'm going to do the wrong thing."

And then the ambulance came out.

It was quite scary, being in hospital,

because I wasn't really...

..sure what was going to happen.

This incident was a turning point for Jamie.

It's been kind of a wake-up call, really.

It's a lesson in what...

what to and what not to do.

Yeah.

Since then, Jamie's got a job.

Thanks, Jamie.

As well as taking responsibility for his health and finances,

he's taking another big step towards independence.

Well, it's a Yamaha Aerox 50

and it's...

Well, it's my bike and I've just been doing it up.

I want to be able to get places by myself

and not have to rely on people to take me.

OK, Jamie. All right?

There's going to look after you out there, only you.

-Yeah.

-All right? Very important to understand that.

When you're ready.

Keep looking, Jamie. Keep looking. Look at me.

Slowly. Keep going, Jamie.

That's doing good. Keep going.

OK, then, Jamie.

-Well done.

-Thank you.

-You've done well.

-You keep that safe and you keep safe.

-I will.

# Everything is changing

# And I've been here for too long. #

It feels like...like I'm free,

cos I've been waiting for weeks to go out on it.

And now I can, so I'm really happy.

The group of friends we have when we're 16

is critical in helping us to define who we are,

and research shows it can have an impact on us

for the rest of our life.

Our friends at 16 can influence how likely we are

to graduate from college, the amount of money we'll go on to earn,

and even how much we'll drink.

# I'm no saint

# I bathe in sin

# This world is cruel, but we made it. #

Rhianna Lees, growing up in East Yorkshire,

has a group of friends who share a cynicism of the world,

which she expresses in her songs.

# We're not insane

# So damaged from the breakages

# You'll be this way

# Life is what you make of it

# We're not the same

# Someone fix my wicked brain. #

I don't think that I'm going to get to do what I want to do,

to be honest. I think I'm going to end up stuck somewhere,

which I don't want to do. And then you just...

You pay your bills and you die -

that's pretty much what happens in life!

The friendship group she's got...

I'm guessing they're a kind of outsider group.

We're kind of just, like, a ragtag bunch of people,

who are slightly mentally insane.

# Can I say

# That I miss you? #

"The weird people" is kind of where we are.

She is a much giddier person with her friends, you know,

chortling and shrieking and carrying on.

I do get on really well with my mum, of course, but I just...

prefer to spend time with my friends.

For Rhianna, friends have always been a source of strength

because, from an early age,

she's had to cope with troubles in her parents' marriage.

I don't think Daddy's coming home for tea tonight, so it's just...

But he never comes home!

-You what, darling?

-Stop it!

If Rhianna marries somebody like Andy, I would be furious.

It's not good, because he's not spending time with his family.

Working mum Tanya was always frustrated that Rhianna's dad, Andy,

contributed so little to the household.

I resent horrendously the fact that he won't do what I think is,

you know, his duty -

take his responsibilities seriously.

Life's too short.

You know? Just, what's the point

-in worrying yourself to death over something?

-Right...

The world won't stop just because the washing-up's not done.

Move it.

The atmosphere at home had an impact on Rhianna.

Oh, sorry, sweetheart.

When she was six, her mum sought professional help.

Children are very sensitive to conflict in the household.

As a child psychiatrist,

if I could only ever do one thing to help children,

it would be to reduce family conflict.

Thank you.

What's helped Rhianna to cope

is that she's always been a sociable child.

If you actually swing on these two branches...

Spending time with her friends was a release from the stresses of home.

Over the years, things haven't improved,

and, last year, her parents' marriage reached breaking point.

Things hadn't been right for a long time - living separate lives, etc.

And it all erupted one night when, um...

for the first time in my life, I was really honest with him.

Um, we had a fallout.

Two days later, I was evicted by the police

with a black bin liner full of some work clothes and that was it.

And we don't speak any more, at the moment.

Well, I can't speak to Tanya,

because she has a restraining order against me.

Although the restraining order

doesn't prevent Andy from seeing Rhianna,

there's been little contact between them since he moved out.

I've seen Rhianna perhaps six times in a year.

She's turning into a young lady, and I'm missing Rhianna growing up.

And, er...

HE EXHALES

-Blimey.

-HE SNIFFS

# Get going, get going, get going

# You leave and you leave and you're leaving

# Get going, get going, get going

# I don't want you any more. #

-It looks a mess.

-He's meant to.

-He's a mentally insane supervillain.

-Yeah, OK.

Research shows that children who seek support from others

during a family breakdown adjust more quickly.

The female Joker look is what I'm going for, really. Um...

Rhianna's been spending lots of time with her friends

and, next month, they're all going to her favourite comic convention.

How long have I got to do this?

Comic Con is a comic convention and there's loads of people cosplaying,

which is dressing up as a favourite character,

and kind of living as them, and just...

You know, just for that day.

They get to dress up as Star Trek characters

and get really excited it if they go to see Derek Nimoy or...

-Leonard Nimoy.

-Leonard Nimoy. Sorry.

-Nimoy.

Nimoy. Well, Finding Nemo, it's all the same sort of thing.

Jesus Christ, Tanya.

# The revolution starts tonight

# Grab what you've got... #

'It's fun to meet people who share the same interests as you.

'We have no shame when it comes to each other, so we just say whatever.

'And it's kind of comforting to know

that you've always got someone who will be there for you.'

# The revolution starts tonight. #

Our interests are things outside of what you would call "society."

We like... In school, we're segregated to,

like, different groups.

The "popular people" and the "jocks" look at you strangely,

but, with this little group that we've got going on here,

-none of us will judge each other, if you know what I mean.

-Yeah.

No, we're strange. We're strange.

-THEY CHANT:

-Strange and proud! Strange and proud!

Strange and proud! Strange and proud!

# We're all they've got

# Force them outside

# We're all they've got

# Force them outside

# Revolution starts tonight. #

Lots of teenagers think one tribe is a really safe place to be.

There is groups, though. Like, there is divisions,

and people do, sort of, stick in a group.

I hang out with people from, like, the music room.

You know, the kind of "alternative" crowd.

The, like, bitchy girls, the, like, football boys...

And I hang out with people who are kind of smart.

Like the kind of "geeky" kind of people.

The, like, not nerdy boys and the nerdy girls...

But I think that's fine, really, cos that's what...

That's the kind of thing of growing up, really.

You make a strong group of friends and you stay with them.

These teenage tribes are remarkably universal.

Research has revealed that there's a distinct pattern

to the way teenagers organise their social bonds,

wherever they live.

We surveyed 22 different schools in Scotland for 15-to-16-year-olds,

and we asked them who their friends were,

and also to describe something about the group that they belong to.

So these are the kind of labels and the identities

that these young people tend to adopt at this time.

So we've got the smart kids, we've got the Goths,

we've got the computer kids, we've got the nice girls,

the sexy girls...

What are the neds?

"Neds" stands for non-educated delinquent.

We basically find these groups appear again and again.

This has been replicated in Canada and America.

There's been some work done in Germany, some work in India,

so, again, all over the world, we see these types.

We also tend to see a kind of social hierarchy.

The lowest tend to be the drug groups,

and the sports groups tend to be quite highly placed.

The smart group, unfortunately,

doesn't tend to be placed very highly

in terms of the peer hierarchy.

Actually, so peer-based popularity seems to be based on

your attractiveness and stylishness, and those are the key facets

that kind of determine where you rank.

So what happens to the members of these different groups

when they leave school and enter adulthood?

Researchers who tracked them throughout their lives

found that the creativity and empathy

of the alternative kids like Rhianna gave them a better chance than most

of having a successful, well-paid career.

The sporty group did too,

though they had higher levels of drinking than most.

But the smart kids, who at school were the least popular group,

as adults were the most successful of all.

One of the reasons their teenage years

will have such a big impact on their future life

is because their brains are still plastic,

and so easily shaped by experiences.

In Glasgow, identical twins Alex and Ivo

are making the most of the many opportunities they have.

Monday, we have ceilidh band and orchestra.

Tuesday, we have Woody, who's an English tutor.

Wednesday is my day where I don't have anything.

Thursdays, I do volunteering.

Fridays, I have choir. And Saturdays, I have RCS.

On Sundays, I have a piano lesson.

I'll have to do nine past eight.

Is it? Are you sure? Have another look. What do you think it is?

Alex and Ivo have always had a busy and supportive home life.

They quickly developed a natural curiosity about the world...

..and a love of learning - something that they still have today.

It's always about maintaining high standards and just getting better.

We have to practise a lot.

This is my room.

Everywhere I go, I'll collect something.

A thing from Shakespeare's house.

A small bit of Orgonite.

A bullet casing. Some glass.

Just interesting bits and bobs.

I have a busy mind.

I get bored in school a lot, so I doodle.

Basically, I just rip up parts of my jotters and I just doodle.

I'd like to be pushed a bit harder, you know.

It's always important to learn, just to keep on learning new skills.

Cos if you didn't learn, well, then, what's the point of living?

You just learn, you take in new experiences,

you try and just do as much as you can.

As teenagers learn and take in new experiences,

rich connections are fostered and strengthened.

During this time, the brain is very flexible,

meaning teenagers think more creatively

than at any other time of their lives.

And you can see this with a very simple test.

Right, we're going to do a test, a task, and it's a competition.

-OK.

-You're up against each other.

'Alex and his mum, Berenice, have a grid of matchsticks

'and instructions to remove some of them in order to make new patterns.'

The time starts now.

Off you go.

It's an unusual task that requires them to think out of the box.

They have five minutes to solve as many as they can.

OK. We're done.

Matches down. How many problems did you solve?

-Two.

-You solved two problems.

How many problems did you solve?

-BOTH:

-One, two, three, four, five, six,

seven, eight, nine, ten,

11, 12.

Hmm, I'm struggling to know who did better there.

-Um, yes. So you're the winner. Congratulations.

-Gosh!

-Yay.

Very difficult. It's not my kind of task at all, I have to say.

Did you feel that you were really having...?

You were struggling to use your brain

in a way that felt quite unusual for you?

Yes. Uh-huh. Definitely out of my comfort zone.

'Scientists have found that teenagers perform this task

'better than adults.'

And it's to do with differences in the way their brains function.

Stick them up here.

What we're looking at in this test is the difference between the way

the teenage brain works and the adult brain.

So I've got two brain scans here - one is an adult, one a teenager.

Anybody want to guess which is adult, which is teen?

So that one is a teenager, and that one is an adult.

OK, so this is the teen, this is the adult. You're correct. Why?

What are you seeing differently?

-That one's got more grey matter than that one.

-Brilliant.

Brilliant. Exactly right.

So the teenage brain here, it's denser, right?

It's got more grey matter.

It's got more neurones - more brain cells, basically.

What we see with the teenage brain is, boys,

you are much more flexible in your thinking.

Now, the reason for this is, developmentally,

when you're a teenager, you have a huge amount of grey matter,

and lots and lots of neurones.

But, over a process which is called pruning,

which is basically neurones that aren't used very often,

brain cells that aren't used very often as you develop into adulthood,

are sort of pruned away,

and what happens is we get stronger connections

between the parts of the brain that we use regularly.

As we become adults, and the rich connections are strengthened,

the ones we don't use wither away, and our brains become more fixed.

The process of becoming an adult in our teenage years

is about pruning the infinite possibilities that are there.

Our experience as teenagers has such an impact on later life

because, at 16, the brain is still developing

and new pathways are being shaped.

So what we do as teenagers is not only important now,

it fundamentally shapes our brain for later life.

The choices our teenagers are making this year

will leave their mark on the very structure of their brain.

THEY CHEER

I think they've had enough now.

Whether it's who to love,

how to have fun...

Strange and proud! Strange and proud!

..where to belong,

being 16 is more than just a moment in time.

It's an age that fundamentally shapes you and the adult you become.

The future is a very odd thing and anything could happen,

so I'm kind of looking forward to it.

I-I will jinx it if I say exactly what I want,

cos life never works out.

Being responsible and, like,

just being independent, that seems good.

# Here comes the sun

# Here comes the sunshine... #

It'll be fascinating to see how our teenagers

continue to forge their unique journeys through life.

# Here comes the sun

# Here comes the sunshine

# Whoa. #

For this free Open University booklet

about young people and changing times, call...

..or go to the BBC Child Of Our Time website

and follow the links to the Open University.

# Here comes the sun

# Here comes the sunshine. #