Episode 6 Going Back Giving Back

One of the things I love about us Brits is our spirit of generosity.

If I can give back to somebody

who had a similar struggle to my own,

then that's what I'd like to do.

Last year, nearly three-quarters of us gave to charity.

But what if you had the chance to go back

and relive moments from your past?

I wish I was 18 again!

LAUGHTER

-I'm expecting Mum and Dad to walk out now and say hello.

-Yeah.

Moments which would inspire you to want to help someone today.

I want to give back to those people that are going through that,

that I went through at the beginning.

If I can give something to somebody else and change their lives,

-I'd really love to.

-Fantastic.

Someone who had no idea this life-changing windfall was coming.

I have got potentially her dream in my hand.

-How are you feeling?

-Nervous!

'There'll be surprises...'

How are you?

Thank you so much!

Thank you.

'..with acts of generosity that will change people's lives...'

Aaah... We're all crying!

-Do you need a hug as well?

-Yeah, thanks!

-'..forever.'

-Wa-hey! That was brilliant!

Somebody that just does that for people, it's just amazing.

It really is.

This is Going Back Giving Back.

Today, I'm going back to 1970s Leeds

to hear the story of a brave, courageous and inspirational man.

But it's the events of his childhood that's driving him

to want to help somebody else today.

Can a man whose young life was left devastated

by one of the most brutal killers of our time really learn to forgive?

-Do you forgive him?

-Oh, absolutely.

Really?

Your reaction there is what a lot of people would, understandably...

If he'd killed my mum, I don't think I could ever forgive him.

'We reunite him with a man who threw him a lifeline

'when he'd hit rock bottom.'

Very nice to see you.

I remember walking out of here, and going, "Yes!" I was walking on air.

Can he help and inspire a young woman

who's also had a troubled youth?

I'm not one of these people that I feel sorry for myself,

but I know that I have had quite a hard upbringing so far.

And the tension mounts as we reveal a massive surprise.

INDISTINCT

-I'm going to cry, myself!

-So am I!

I've come to Leeds...

..to hear the remarkable story

of how one man overcame a truly harrowing childhood.

The man I'm about to meet certainly does have a tragic tale to tell.

It started when he was just five years old,

and his mother became the first victim

of one of the most notorious serial killers in our time.

But, you know, the tragic event made him the man he is today.

He now dedicates his life to inspiring others,

and I really can't wait to meet him.

Today, 46-year-old Richard is a highly sought-after public speaker

who travels the world giving motivational talks to schools,

businesses and communities.

He lives in a leafy suburb of Leeds with his wife and three children.

-Richard, how are you?

-How are you?

-Good, thanks, nice to meet you.

-Come in.

-Thank you very much. I'll close the door behind me.

But what's motivating you to want to do this today?

Well, I think for a lot of my journey I've always felt like

a bit of an underdog,

so if along the way I get the opportunity to work with,

maybe inspire and help an underdog along the way, why wouldn't I?

-I had a very tough childhood, and...

-You certainly did.

I know what that feels like.

Take us back to that... that tough childhood, if you can.

The first five years were tough.

We were on the at-risk register, you know,

we'd lots of alcohol in the house, er...

We had nothing in the way of money.

It was a tough start, then of course things got a whole lot worse...

a week before my sixth birthday.

It was an unimaginably tough start to life.

Richard's mother, Wilma, would regularly go out drinking.

His dad wasn't around.

So she often left the oldest sister, Sonia,

to look after him and his two younger sisters.

Then, one night, in October 1975, their mum didn't come back.

I'll never forget it. I'll never forget being woken up.

Mum had been out drinking, and...

Sonia woke me up to tell me that Mum had not come home,

and, "Let's go, let's go, try and find her,"

and we wandered the streets and sat on the bus stop waiting for Mum.

It was 5am, still dark, and very cold.

Dressed in just their pyjamas, five-year-old Richard,

and Sonia, just seven,

waited patiently at the bus stop for their mother...

..unaware she was never coming back.

Later that morning,

police took Richard and his three sisters to a local children's home.

But they still had no idea what had happened.

When I arrived at the children's home,

I was convinced that when they said, "Can you come into the visitors' room,"

I was convinced she was going to be there. Went in there, and of course she wasn't there.

And it's around this time that we were told by a plainclothes officer

that Mum had not come home, that we weren't going to see her again.

That was...

Well, that was the moment that life as I knew it changed.

As a little boy, Richard was simply told his mother had gone.

It was years later that he learned the shocking truth.

After spending the evening drinking, his mum, Wilma McCann,

had accepted a lift from a stranger,

but it was to have a catastrophic consequence.

That stranger was the notorious Yorkshire Ripper,

and Richard's mum became his first murder victim.

What's really profound to me is when I think back...

Me telling myself that mum had been taken... This is crazy...

She'd been taken by God as a sacrifice to give us a better life.

-Right.

-That's what I told myself.

It's amazing, cos a lot of people watching might think,

with what you've had to go through in your life...

You know, how have you managed to come out the other end positive?

-HE SIGHS

-Um...

Well, to me it's quite simple.

I had a hell of a difficult childhood,

I lost my mum in a very tragic way, and I was in a very dark place,

and I just worked out, as a young kid,

and I have done ever since, that...

listen, to make this a little bit easier to cope with,

think about it in a positive way. That is almost like common sense.

Richard's positive outlook is amazing,

and has carried him through some tough times.

Following the loss of his mother, he struggled with low self-esteem,

and at one point even ended up in prison.

But, along the way,

he's always found people who've lent him a helping hand.

And now he wants to do the same for someone else.

In what way do you want to help somebody now, then?

Well, I've always tried to help people on the way,

right from my childhood, right through going through life,

so to be given the opportunity today, to...

once again help somebody, but hopefully,

you know, maybe in a life-changing way, I mean, why wouldn't you?

If I'm able to, it just makes sense to do that.

Well, listen, in order for you to give back,

I think first we need to go back,

so if you're willing to come on this little journey with me,

-I think we should do it right now.

-Let's go.

-Come on.

'This is going to be a very sensitive journey into the past for Richard,

'but it's something he wants to do, and we're hoping it'll guide him

'to make a decision of how he can help someone else today.'

Any idea where we might be heading off to?

Well, we're heading to central Leeds,

so we could be going to one or two places I've worked...

Well, all will become clear very shortly, I'm sure.

Our route takes us through Chapeltown,

the neighbourhood where Richard grew up,

and where his mother spent her last evening.

And here is...

Well, it's not now, but it used to be called The Room At The Top...

-and that is where Mum had her last drink.

-Right.

And we are, actually literally,

-three minutes in the car up the road from where we lived.

-Right.

So she thumbed a lift just over there to get home.

She could have walked it.

-Yeah.

-She could have walked it.

Just down the road from where his mum disappeared

is the children's home where he and his sisters were brought

on the morning after their mother's death.

Let's pop out, shall we?

This place must have been massive for a five-year-old.

-It looks big now.

-It does!

But if you can imagine four kids arriving here...

We got took into that front door.

-So, all the kids were upstairs in this building.

-Yeah.

-But we...

We were kept together on the ground floor, to the right,

I don't know if it's there now, but it was like an extension,

and they put three beds and a cot in there, so we were kept together.

-Which was great for us four.

-Yeah.

-So...

-That must have been some comfort, then, mustn't it?

-It was.

The day after they arrived, Richard and his sisters had a visitor -

their dad, who they hadn't seen for a few months.

From then on, he started visiting them most weekends,

though Richard soon learned that his father couldn't always be relied on.

In fact, I remember looking out of that window, that front window,

waiting for my dad to come and collect us on a Saturday afternoon,

and he didn't turn up. I remember being disappointed.

Why didn't he turn up?

-I don't know. Probably drinking, I expect.

-Right, OK.

But, hey-ho.

-Well, shall we get on with it and carry on?

-Let's go.

-Come on.

'After two months in the children's home,

'Richard's dad found them a new house,'

and Richard and his sisters went to live with him.

But, as they grew up,

the circumstances of their mother's death remained a mystery.

Not finding out what had happened to your mum,

or who had murdered her, for so many years,

must have been so difficult for you, as well.

Not putting closure on it, almost.

Yeah, I mean, we weren't even allowed to go to Mum's funeral.

In fact, it wasn't until I was 16

-that I was told where she was buried.

-God!

So it took me ten years to say goodbye, but...

Yeah, um...

It was almost, like, brushed under the carpet in our house,

the house that we then got brought up in with my dad,

-and it was like a taboo subject.

-Right.

But of course it was such a massive news story,

you couldn't get away from it.

So I kind of bottled it up inside,

and obviously, that had a detrimental effect on me.

His mother's death cast a long shadow over Richard's life.

Even when the Yorkshire Ripper, Peter Sutcliffe,

was finally convicted of her murder and that of 12 other women,

it was small comfort to Richard.

'A jury of six men and six women took nearly six hours

'to reach their verdict.

'As each of the 13 women's names was read out, the answer was the same.'

By a majority of 10 to 2, guilty of murder on all charges.'

How did you feel when you found out it was Peter Sutcliffe?

My mum was gone, that was it, I'd lost my mum, and, you know...

Him being arrested, of course, as an adult looking back at that,

him being arrested was a very positive thing to have happened,

but... Back then as a kid, it just...

It didn't change anything for me or us, it didn't bring Mum back.

Richard has spent four decades struggling with his feelings

of loss and rage.

But he's emerged from that struggle

with a sense of positivity that's simply astonishing.

I used to be angry about him. I'm not angry any more.

It's... It's not there, I let it go.

I actually let it go after listening to Desmond Tutu about forgiveness.

Er... And I realised that I'd held on to that anger for...

for decades.

And I let it go that day.

And how did you feel then?

Well, I felt...

I actually felt... I don't know, spiritual. I felt...

connected to, er... a deeper part of me,

and a realisation that I had that...

ability and power to let that go, AND forgive, in fact.

-Do you forgive him?

-Oh, absolutely.

-Really?

-Abso... I've...

Now, forgiveness...

Your reaction there...

is what a lot of people would, understandably...

If he'd killed my mum, I don't think I could ever forgive him.

But it just raises the question what forgiveness is.

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness for me is about the anger that I had held...

-Right.

-And I've let it go.

Today, Richard puts his remarkable positivity to good use

as a motivational speaker who tours the world.

But the path to forgiveness has been a long and hard one.

As a child, Richard spent years living with a fear

that the Yorkshire Ripper would come back for him,

and one of the few places he felt safe and secure was at school.

-Was it a good school?

-I've got some good memories of this school.

-Have you?

-Used to walk down there, actually, going to school.

'It was here that one inspirational teacher gave Richard

'a glimpse of the successful career that lay ahead of him.'

-You've spotted this man.

-I've spotted this man, it's...

It's Mr Hill. Geoff, how are you?

'Mr Hill was Richard's English teacher at his secondary school.'

So we've brought him back to a place he was...

-Well, you were happy at, weren't you?

-Yes, I was, actually, yeah.

And what was he like as a pupil?

-Ooh...

-THEY LAUGH

-A bit of a bright spark.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah. Always had something...

..interesting to say, wanted to chip in.

I think back then...

part of the mask I would put on was that kind of...

Someone with a bit of a sense of humour,

-trying to make people giggle, if I recall.

-Yeah, yeah.

-But really it was...

-Nightmare for a teacher!

It was all a front, really,

to cover up what was the reality of the situation.

-Of course.

-Yeah.

But, um...you saw something in him.

Um... Well, we, um...

We had this thing every year called the public speaking competition,

and, um...

as head of English, one of my jobs was to actually organise this.

And Richard, as I said, he was one of those bright, sparky kids,

I thought, "You could probably do this."

-It was terrifying.

-Mm-hm.

-But, you know what, I did it.

What did you talk about?

I spoke about, er...

Well, pigeons, racing pigeons. My dad...

-It was like Kes with his kestrel, my dad raced racing pigeons.

-OK.

Um...and that's what I chose to speak about,

-and I took a pigeon with me, that was...

-Wow!

-That's the thing I remember.

-The bombshell. Not bombshell, the...

At the end, you came out to the side of the hall, didn't you,

-with the fire doors there...

-Yeah.

-..and opened the door, and said,

"Right, I'm going to let the pigeon go now, and it will fly home,"

and it went, and I can picture now, all these kids' faces

going like that, watching it circling, and it zoomed off.

-Cos you actually had them there, they were all listening.

-Really?

Yeah.

-I sat down and I thought, "Glad that's over."

-What happened then?

Well...what happened then was, I don't know if it was the next day

or soon after, but they announced that I'd gone and won it.

'Even today,

'when he's travelling the world doing his motivational speeches,

'the memory of his 13-year-old self always comes back to him.'

It was inside you to start with, and all I did was give you

a little opportunity, and you've made the most of that.

Yeah, it's amazing how that happens, isn't it?

That tiny little seed of encouragement...

-can make something amazing grow.

-Mmm.

It really is...

Well, thank you for meeting us here.

We've got another bit of the journey to go on,

-a few more surprises, if you don't mind.

-Yeah.

So we'll have to jump in the car,

-and you two can catch up at a later date.

-Yeah.

-All right, see you later.

-All the best, yeah.

-Fantastic to see you.

-Thank you.

-Take care.

-Great, bye.

Coming up, our team have been on the case,

looking for someone whose story will hopefully resonate with Richard.

And we think we've found them.

She's an inspiring young woman who also faced a difficult childhood.

And how many T-shirts is that?

She thinks we're making a programme about people who've been in care.

She has no idea she could be in for a life-changing act of generosity.

After leaving school,

Richard drifted through a series of dead-end jobs.

He didn't know it, but he was heading for disaster.

The guys at work were, er...

..going out, taking drugs, and I foolishly went along with them.

I lost my job eventually.

In fact, two of my friends died, um...

..from the drug-taking, but I ended up dealing drugs to my friends,

and...

I take responsibility for what I did, I started taking drugs,

which led on to dealing drugs, but that was down to me.

That was my choice.

I got arrested, and I got sent to the very same place

that Peter Sutcliffe was sent.

-God!

-Armley Prison.

In 1997, Richard served six months in prison for drug dealing.

He'd reached rock bottom.

But prison gave him a chance to take stock of his life.

So whilst I was in there, I was kind of getting my head down,

did what I had to do, stayed away from the drugs in prison.

And, you know, to some degree, it was the making of me.

-Right.

-Well, not the making of me, but it was the thing that...

-got me back on track.

-Uh-huh.

-Eventually.

I mean, going to prison, I was determined not to go back there.

Even after he was released, Richard's troubles weren't over.

With no job, and no money to pay his mortgage,

'he was in danger of losing his house.'

Finding work as an ex-convict wasn't easy, but Richard wouldn't give up.

Where we're going now...

If I'm not mistaken, on the left...

is where I went for my final interview...

a week before my house was repossessed from me,

-that's how close it was.

-Phew!

-It was the final week.

-Nobody would give me a job...

-Yeah.

Nobody, I must've been on 25 interviews.

So this was it.

'When Richard turned up here 19 years ago,

'after a string of rejections and in danger of losing his house,

'it was make-or-break time.'

You're already shaking! ALED LAUGHS

Do you recognise that man?

'Back in 1997, Lawrence was the owner

'of a local garment business.

'He was looking for a new warehouse supervisor

'when Richard turned up for an interview.'

-The old office, remember that?

-Yeah, certainly do.

-I was going to say, do YOU remember it?

-I do.

-I got brought in by this agency, if you remember.

-Yeah.

Sat me down, went in there and spoke to you, and I was sat there,

like, thinking, this is the last chance saloon, and, er...

and then you...called me in.

Called you in there, I think we had a nice little chat.

I think we'd been a couple of minutes, I said, "You want the job?"

-You offered me a job!

-How did you feel?

I remember walking out of here, getting round the corner,

and going, "Yes!"

I went straight up to my sister, Sonia's, I said,

"Sonia, you'll never believe it, I've got a job," and she couldn't believe it. It was just...

That walk - I walked, cos we lived in Woodhouse - that walk...

I was walking on air.

-Was he any good?

-Yeah, yeah, Richard was great.

-Tell me the truth, was he?

-No, he was.

We were a small family business, and it was important

that everybody worked as a team, and this guy was...

You know, he was a top guy.

'Becoming a valued member of staff here

'gave Richard the stability and security he needed

'to turn his life around.

'And it was all because Lawrence showed faith in him

'when he really needed it.'

If somebody wants a job...

and that's what you've got on offer, give them a job,

because everybody's entitled to a chance.

Just let me ask you, being on this little journey we've been on,

and coming back here where it was make-or-break time...

Everything worked out for you - has that reinforced that feeling in you

that you want to help somebody else?

Lawrence gave me a chance, and you didn't realise at the time

how big that was to me, and it was massive.

So to do the same for somebody else now and give them

a helping hand, you know...

-If you can do it, why won't you?

-Absolutely.

Well, good on you. I'll let you two carry on reminiscing.

-Very nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

-And I'll catch up with you very soon, yeah?

-All the best.

-All the best to you.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

This journey into the past has stirred deep memories

of the tragic loss Richard suffered as a child.

We were told by a plainclothes officer that Mum had not come home,

and we weren't going to see her again.

Does this man...?

'Along the way, he's been reunited with some of the key people

'who helped him overcome his difficulties,

'and achieve his full potential.'

It was inside you to start with.

All I did was give you a little opportunity,

and you've made the most of that.

But, most importantly,

it's helped focus his mind on what he wants to do.

If, along the way, I get the opportunity to work with,

maybe inspire and help an underdog along the way, why wouldn't I?

Wow, what a journey we've been on with Richard today,

taking him back to those places

that have had such a huge impact on his life.

What a rollercoaster of emotion.

He's dedicated his life to helping other people,

and once again today, he wants to give something back.

What an extraordinary man he is.

Of course, there are many people

who could benefit from his life experiences,

but we think we've found somebody

whose story will hopefully strike a chord with him.

22-year-old Toni is a single mum living in Leeds.

Like Richard, she also had a hard start in life.

Not tired yet?

When she was just too, things were so bad at home

that Toni and her sister were taken away from their parents

and placed in care.

Toni grew up in institutions, and as a teenager, like Richard,

she was in trouble with the law.

"That's not my dolly. Her hat is too soft."

However, since leaving care, she's turned her life around,

and is now busy mum and part-time student.

Why does she have a mouse?

A little mouse, I don't know why she's got a little mouse.

We've arranged for Richard and Toni to meet.

Will Toni's story strike a chord with him,

and inspire him to want to change her life?

I'm going to meet a young lady called Toni who...

I don't know a great deal about her,

but apparently she's got some similarities with my life,

so I'm looking forward to meeting her.

I'm a bit apprehensive, but let's see how we get on.

Toni thinks we're making a programme about people who've been in care.

She has no idea of the real reason behind Richard's visit...

..or that she could be in line for a life-changing gift from him.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-You must be Toni.

-I am.

-How are you?

-Are you Richard?

-I am.

-Shall we go in?

-Yeah, come in.

-Would you like a cup of tea?

-I'd love a cup of tea!

-I'm a tea man.

-D'you drink tea, yeah, not coffee?

Milk and one sugar. I know I shouldn't.

From age two, Toni and her sister were placed together

in a foster home, but after five years,

Toni was separated from her sister.

How was all that, moving from foster family to foster family?

It wasn't very nice, but the foster carer that I was with,

she said that my behaviour was really bad,

so she couldn't really cope with me any more,

and she felt that the best thing to do was to...

-move me on.

-Separate you.

-Yeah.

-Oh, gosh.

-How old were you when you were separated, then?

-Seven.

I think I was... Yeah, I was seven.

I do remember being told that I was being split up,

and I remember running out of the house and sitting on the wall and just crying,

because it was like a proper little family, you know?

Being separated from her sister

was the worst experience of Toni's young life.

After that, she spent most of her childhood in children's homes.

There, her behaviour got worse...

..and as a teenager, she was often in trouble with the law.

I got locked up in a young offenders' when I was 15.

-Did you?

-Yeah.

The first one I went into was, um...

-quite horrific, it was like a child prison.

-Yeah.

Like, there was murderers in there, and...you know, they had proper uniforms.

What was that for?

Arson.

Um... Yeah, arson.

Toni had hated living in her children's home so much,

she'd set fire to her bedroom

in the hope that she wouldn't have to live there any more.

It was an act born out of sheer desperation.

She spent nine weeks in the young offenders' institute awaiting trial,

and was finally sentenced to a two-year supervision order.

She could easily have ended up in trouble again,

were it not for an event that changed her life.

When I did actually eventually leave care, I was, um...

when I was 17,

I was really quite down and depressed, and, you know...

I felt very low.

And about three weeks after I left care, I found out I was pregnant.

And I do feel like finding out I was pregnant kind of stopped me

from living the chaotic lifestyle leaving care,

cos a lot of people who leave care don't take it very well,

and, you know, they go into drugs and alcohol and...

they just don't know what to do with their lives.

And I feel like she kind of almost saved me,

because it's all I ever wanted.

So then, when I found out it was happening, I was just so happy.

Because I didn't have a family,

I thought the only way to have a family

is to have a family, you know?

My family that I can then...

be the parent I always wanted my parents to be.

Because of the life I've had, I had to become quite mature quite young,

and, like, everyone always says to me now, I've got my head screwed on,

and you know, I'm really sensible and grown up.

And I think I've been that way, really, since I had Evie, about... Well, four years ago.

Because I just had to grow up,

because I didn't have a mum and dad to show me how to change a nappy

or to help me with the night-time feeds,

or to watch her whilst I popped into town.

You know, I had to do everything myself.

Having Evie has given Toni the close family bond

she so desperately wanted as a child.

Having left school with no qualifications,

Toni is now studying four days a week at a local college

for a diploma in health and social care.

-So, how do you get to college, by the way?

-Um...I get the bus.

I thought you drove.

No, no, I don't drive.

I did some driving lessons when I lived in Rochdale.

So one day I would love to get back into my driving lessons

and pass my test and everything.

At the moment, Toni can't afford to finish her driving lessons.

And as if being a student and mum wasn't enough,

Toni also does voluntary work,

using her experience of the care system to help others.

-I do, like, foster carer training.

-Oh, do you?

-Yeah, um...

What do you do?

We just go and speak to foster carers about our experiences.

At events?

No, actual training, like, there's a group of foster carers that go on

a three-day training course, and we go to their training course to do...

-And you stand up and speak?

-Yeah.

-How do you find that?

I don't know, it's weird, I quite enjoy telling people about my experiences,

because I think people sometimes have a black and white image, like...

It's quite good, like, I think sometimes people are scared

to admit when it's not very good, and I'm...

-You mean life in care?

-Yeah.

Using her own experiences to support others

is something that really resonates with Richard, and for Toni,

it's something she'd love to do more of.

-So, what's the big dream, then? Magic wand.

-Um...

-I'd love to go and work back in a children's home.

-Right.

To do it from the other point, because I used to always say to my carers in my children's home,

"You don't know what it's like, how can you say you know how I feel, cos you don't have any idea."

I think you can give people more advice and help and guidance

-if you've been through it yourself.

-Young people, yeah.

I mean, I've got my wife to support me, and she does a great job, and she doesn't work, and that's...

I'm in a privileged position there, so...

You're on your own.

-Yeah.

-How difficult is it, how is life?

-Um...

I mean, I do struggle sometimes, you know,

I have days where I feel really low, and stuff, and I do feel like

I don't really have the support and the people to talk to.

I think that's when it's just a bit difficult, because...

I just don't have, like, a massive support network.

One of Toni's biggest concerns is the housing estate she's living on.

She's desperate to move away.

Providing the best environment for her daughter

has always been a key priority for her.

It's clear Richard is really impressed

with her positive attitude, despite what life has thrown at her.

I'm not one of these people that I feel sorry for myself,

but I know that I have had quite a hard upbringing so far.

And even up until now, you know, I've had quite a tough time,

you know, some through fault of my own,

some through not fault of my own.

But I just think everything...

-Everything just makes you stronger, you know?

-Absolutely.

If you have that positive outlook on everything,

then everything makes you stronger.

If you're negative, then, you know,

you give up and you go downhill, but I can't go downhill.

And I know I can't go downhill because of Evie,

and, like, she is my little rock.

Every time I feel like I can't do this, I can't cope,

I can't go on, I'm going to, like, lose it...

I'm like, "No, I can't, because of Evie."

Because of Evie, but do you know what? It's you that's doing it.

Don't forget that.

-Mm.

-It's been really nice talking to you.

It's been inspirational talking to you, actually...

-And you.

-..and I didn't realise we had so much in common.

-It's crazy.

-So good luck on your continuing journey.

But I'm on a journey now so I'm going to get off.

-Thanks for the tea.

-That's all right. Thank you.

So what has Richard made of his meeting with Toni?

And has hearing her story made him want to give something back today?

We had so much in common. And do you know?

I had to remind myself about where I am on my journey

and how different things could've been. And do you know? My heart goes out to her.

She's done fantastically well, but there's a bit more of a journey

to go on and if I can help in some way with that journey,

to help them move forward, you know, why wouldn't I?

I need to think about how can I help her?

How I can genuinely help her with where she is right now?

Meeting Toni has been an emotional experience for Richard.

He now needs to work out whether he can make a difference to her life.

To help him make that decision, he's going to talk it through

with his close friend and fellow public speaker Nicky.

-Hee-hee!

-Hiya!

-How are you?

-I'm all right. How are you, my friend?

-Nice to see you. Looking good, looking good.

-Ooh!

-Where shall I sit?

-Thank you.

-So...

-So, what's crack, then? What you been doing?

I've been on a bit of a journey over the last couple of weeks,

culminating in meeting Toni.

Toni, young lady who...taken to care at the age of two,

and she got in trouble a little bit. You know, a bit like me -

I went to prison, she was in a young offenders' institute. It was...

I mean, and eventually, she's turned herself around,

she's got a four-year-old beautiful little daughter and, um...

It's... She's quite an inspirational person.

But it must have been great for her to speak to you because

you have been to that place and there's a massive difference

between, "Oh, I'm really sorry, that's awful,"

and, "Actually, I know what you're feeling at four o'clock in the morning when you don't know how

"you're going to pay the gas bill and you don't know where your life's going to go."

You know what was crazy? She's doing some of the things that I do.

She's going to events for those in the kind of fostering agencies and suchlike,

-and she's doing training sessions.

-No!

I mean, there were so many things we had in common, it was uncanny.

And...and I'm just...

You know, not torn, but struggling with how... You know, what can I do?

What can I do for her?

I want her to feel good about herself because, you know, that's half the battle.

When you feel good, you can do more, you can achieve more,

-you can fight those battles, you can...

-And it's not just that...

-..achieve your dreams.

-..but if this girl feels good about herself,

that's going to go down to the next generation.

-It kind of breaks the cycle, doesn't it?

-It does.

Which is what I've done.

And if I can help somebody else do that, you know,

it would be a fantastic thing to do. Well, thanks for that, Nicky.

It's been nice to help, you know, kick it about and clear my thoughts,

-so thank you.

-You're so welcome, my friend.

This chat with Nicky has given Richard plenty of food for thought.

It's clear that meeting Toni has stirred up memories of his own past.

Richard has gone back. Now he needs to go forward.

It's up to him to work out what he can do to help her.

I'm really looking forward to catching up with Richard.

Can't wait to hear how his meet with Toni went.

You know, there are so many similarities in their lives.

They've both experienced the care system, they both hit rock bottom.

But how great that they've managed to turn their lives around.

Things are still pretty tough for Toni.

I wonder if Richard can help her on her journey. Let's go and find out.

I'm meeting Richard just around the corner from where

Toni is having a day out with her daughter, sister and friend.

It's time to find out what Richard has decided.

-Hey, Richard, how are you?

-I'm all right. How are you?

-Good, thanks.

-Nice to see you.

-And nice to see you.

So, go on, I'm dying to find out - how did it go with Toni?

Well, I was nervous, to be honest with you, but she's a lovely young lady.

And we had so much in common that it was a bit spooky.

You've both had, it's fair to say, tough starts in life.

It'd be fair to say we both had problems with behaviour, shall we say?

We both kind of, you know, got into trouble.

Coming out of all that, as for me, when I came out of prison,

things started to look better and...

And it is much better for her now.

It seems that she's turned a corner in her life, definitely,

but she's still got a tough life, hasn't she?

She has. She has. I mean, she's not working,

so there isn't a great deal of money in the house,

but one of the biggest things I was left with when I came away from her

was I did not feel - I know she's got her own place now -

-but I didn't feel as though she felt at home there.

-Right.

And it was that kind of home she might have hoped for,

when she thought about what she wanted to do in the future.

So that was the biggest thing that I came away with.

So has it reinforced that you're going to help Toni today?

What's made me want to help her most is that she's reminded me

of how lucky I was and how lucky I am now, and I think that's...

I want her to have a bit of that. I want her to feel good about herself.

-She deserves it.

-Yeah. So how do you think you're going to help her?

Well, the first thing I'm going to do is I'm going to give her

a bond for a home, for a property that she can start making a home

-that she's proud of.

-Wow.

-That's the first thing I want to do.

-Gosh.

-The cost of that.

Richard is going to cover the deposit and expenses

for Toni and Evie to move house.

There's the driving lessons she described.

She needs to finish those, so let's get her on a little crash course

-and we'll finish those.

-OK.

And another thing that I want to do for her is, I mean,

she, more than anybody, deserves a bit of fun and joy.

She's got a daughter, so what I'm arranging is for her

to be taken away, the pair of them and a friend

to spend some time in a theme park where they've got a hotel on site,

-spend a couple of days there.

-How fantastic.

-Yeah.

She has already started speaking and sharing her story to some...

at some events for those in the system, so to speak.

So I'm going to invite her as a guest speaker to one of my events

to inspire other people with the journey she's been on.

And one of the things I want to do around that time

-is take her on a personal shopping experience.

-OK.

So we're going to help her look the part, feel the part and be the part.

-This is amazing!

-Well, you know what?

I'm in a position to do some of these things, so...

That is so, so generous of you, it really is, Richard,

and I can imagine all of that will make such a difference to her.

At long last, she's got that support that she's always wanted.

Not to mention the support afterwards to help her.

That sounds like it's going to cost a lot of money.

It's all relative, isn't it? Um...

-£3,000, something like that.

-OK.

Well, I think you're very, very generous

and I can't wait to see her face when we tell her all this.

Have you put all your thoughts down in a letter?

-I've put it down in a letter for her to read.

-OK.

I'll probably get choked up if I say those things,

-so I'll just give it to her.

-OK, and let her read it.

Well, listen, I know she's having a little day out with her little one,

just around the corner, so I think "No time like the present."

Shall we go and surprise her?

-Let's do it.

-Come on, then. Let's go.

This is the moment Richard has been waiting for.

He's about to own up to Toni what he's really been up to.

His gift could change her life.

She has no idea what's about to happen.

So apparently Toni and her little daughter Evie and her sister

and a friend are in this cafe just at the end of this road.

Of course, they have no idea that we're coming. How are you feeling?

-Slightly nervous, I have to say.

-Yeah.

I wonder what her reaction is going to be like.

You're being so generous, honestly. It's...

I think it's life-changing what you're doing to her.

You know, well, it's going to be an interesting one.

Here goes. Let's do this.

-Hi!

-Hi!

-Hi, Toni, how are you?

-I'm all right, thanks.

I'm Aled Jones, from the BBC.

-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

Don't look at me like that!

Listen, you thought we were making a programme about living in care.

-Yeah.

-It's not the full story, is it?

-It's not.

It was a real pleasure to meet you.

Do you know, meeting you, it reminded me of how lucky I've been

and how grateful I am for where I am right now.

And, for that reason, I'd like to help you a little, if I may.

So what I've done is I've put my thoughts in a letter for you,

-which I'd like you to read out.

-Will you read it out for us?

-No, I'm scared!

-Oh, go on, don't be scared.

Come on, I'll open it for you.

Deep breath now.

"Meeting you last week is a day I'll never forget, for many reasons.

"You really are such a unique, determined and inspirational person.

"I'm truly humbled and grateful for the way things have turned out

"for me and there is no doubt life should turn out well for you.

"You deserve it.

"I felt when we met that you weren't completely happy with where

"you are right now and it didn't quite feel like the home

"you quite wanted for you both.

"If any two people deserve a place to relax in, it's you and Evie

"as you have so many things to live for and so many things to achieve.

"That girl is a credit to you..." Oh, don't you'll make me cry.

"..in every way and the right environment to raise her

"would make such a difference.

"I find the easiest way to direct the future is to have

"a list of things to make happen.

"Can you do me the honour of accepting the following?

"I'd like to help find that new home with you,

"for which I'll pay the depo..."

Don't, I'm going to start crying now, don't.

-Don't worry, you can cry, it's fine.

-Oh, no, no...

I can't read it. "..And support you with the expenses of moving."

Oh, wow.

"Also, I'd like to spend a day reflecting on how well you've done

"and how far you've come.

"For mum and daughter, it's time you two had some fun.

"So I want to cover the cost of a trip to Alton Towers resort

"for a couple of days and let's see if we can get some brilliant,

"happy photos on the rides to display in that new home.

"No question, what you've learned in life should be shared with

"the world, as you have such a gift to give,

"so I'd like to invite you as a guest speaker at one of my events,

"where you will be given a chance to inspire others and give back

"as I have been given the chance to give back today.

"And I have arranged for a personal shopper

"to take you and dress you for the part.

"And, finally, you need to get about,

"so let's finish those last few driving lessons

"as to drive opens up every possibility.

"Believe me, Toni,

"it's more of a joy for me to able to help you than you will ever know.

"Thanks so much. Richard."

-I'm going to cry myself!

-So am I!

-Let's make it happen.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah!

-How do you feel about all that?

-Shocked! Happy. Yeah.

What difference do you think all that will make to you?

-A massive difference.

-Yeah?

To be able to drive will just mean that we can do so much more

and to be able to move away from where I live

and just give us such a better life, because it's just horrible.

It feels like you've turned a corner and now you just needed

that little bit of support to help you on your way.

-What do you want to say to Richard?

-Thank you.

It's been a pleasure to help somebody along who, as I said,

has so much in common with the journey I've been on.

Listen, we'll leave you to it. All the best, OK? Ta-ra, now.

-I'll be in touch very soon.

-All right. Thank you very much.

That was so emotional!

Whoa! That is awesome.

It's really going to make a difference to my life

and really help me in a lot of ways, but it was a big shock.

I wasn't expecting it at all.

But it was a good shock, probably the best shock I've had in my life.

It's been incredible meeting Toni.

It was a nice reminder about where I was and how far I've come

and it's been a great conclusion to the journey.

And it touched me, so a fantastic result, as far as I'm concerned.

I can't thank him enough for what he's done

and I'll never forget what he's done for me.

Both Richard and Toni have had the toughest of starts in life,

but they're both proof, if you like, that anything is possible.

Out of darkness does come light.

Success can be achieved,

even in the face of the toughest adversity and now,

thanks to Richard, Toni has that support that she's always craved.