Episode 2 Normal for Norfolk

-GUNSHOTS

-There's one. Bang.

Most of these are indigenous ducks.

It was a very good breeding season this year.

GUNSHOTS

In the reeds!

Find it.

Floss, find it.

Good boy.

Mmm, isn't that a beautiful?

Would you like to have this one stuffed?

-And you could have him on your dining room table.

-Perfect.

My wife would love that - she's a vegetarian.

Come on, Ted.

Come on, Ted.

Good boy.

Another summer has passed at Wiveton Hall farm on the North coast

of Norfolk, home to gentleman farmer Desmond McCarthy.

He's the one that's been keeping my mother awake.

COCKEREL SQUAWKS

For weeks.

Desmond's lived here all his life with his mother, Chloe,

now 101 years old.

My mother's lived so long because she's never drunk milk.

I like cream.

What are your other tricks?

When they're not at university, he's joined by his children,

Isabel and Edmund.

Does Granny pay rent?

She does pay rent.

Bastard.

Oh. Oh, my God!

Last year, Desmond kept the wolf from the door

by the seat of his tweed pants...

Do I have a lot of cash around? No.

Other people's cash, yes.

Mostly the bank's.

..earning just enough money from his 250-acre farm,

cafe and holiday cottages to maintain a country way of life

and preserve the hall for generations to come.

Perhaps this is where the nostrils came from?

Thank goodness the double chin has been bred out.

-Has it?!

-Yes.

With Edmund home for a few days,

Desmond's encouraging him to follow in his father's footsteps.

-We do need to think long-term.

-Yeah.

-You could do the cash flow with me, Edmund.

-Yes!

Teddus.

-Aw, Teddy.

-Teddy, you've been painted.

Aw, Teddus.

It's early autumn at Wiveton, and Desmond is sorting through

old portraits of the hall with property manager Emma.

I think it's lovely to have paintings of people.

It shows a bit of their character.

It lingers on.

-Those are rather nice, Desmond. We should put those up.

-They are.

They ought to be up, they look nice.

Oh, my God.

We must hang this stuff.

Oh, look. Very faded pictures of people with setters.

Oh, look. Look - now, that IS exciting.

-Bittern shooting.

-Oh, yes.

There are only about 15 pairs of bitterns in the whole country now.

That gives shooting a bad name.

SHE CHUCKLES

-That's my father.

-Oh, that's really nice.

Nice, except it gives him a hand like a gorilla.

Look at the size of his hand.

But it's nice, apart from that.

The hall has been passed down through the McCarthy family

for the last three generations.

Desmond's ancestors cover the walls,

watching to see who will inherit it next.

Oh, that is also my father.

-He's a handsome man.

-Yes, handsome.

-Eyebrows.

-The eyebrows.

-Nose.

-Chin...possibly.

Determined chin.

-LAUGHING:

-Determined chin! Stubborn chin?

-Quite good taste. He used to wear a tie.

-Yes.

-People wore a tie in those days.

-Yes.

Come on, Ted.

Teddy!

HE WHISTLES

Perhaps this is where the nostrils came from.

And not the double...thank goodness the double chin has been bred out.

-Has it?

-Yes!

SHE CHUCKLES

Look, you mean... Oh, the bum chin?

-Oh, I hate that. I've never heard that expression.

-Bottom chin.

-Yeah. Anyway, there we are.

-Oh, yes.

This is the ancestral egg that the family came from.

That you were hatched from!

This is one of the ones that didn't hatch.

One of the relations that never hatched.

But it could at any time.

The first of Desmond's children to hatch was Edmund.

This one, with Edmund, nice picture of father and son.

Father looking much less grey and unstressed there,

cos he spent all his time enjoying himself shooting,

showing his son what to do.

Edmund is now 21 and at university.

Desmond was a similar age when he took on Wiveton,

but whether Edmund succeeds him is a loaded question.

I'd like to keep the house in the family.

Edmund loves it.

Um, Isabel likes it, I think.

Erm...

But it shouldn't become a burden.

-Oh, look. Aw!

-There he is. Where's Desmond?

There he is.

The past, the past.

I think he wants to keep it...

how he inherited it.

Somebody described him to me as the custodian of this land, and I feel

that that's how he thinks of himself.

But, long-term, I don't know.

He's not getting any younger and I suppose he just...

I would think he hopes that Edmund will come and take over...

..and continue in the same vein.

So, how old were you when you actually took the reins?

Well, I was about...

..you know, 20,

-when I started doing things.

-Yes.

-So, if you dropped dead tomorrow, Desmond...

-Yes?

Well, I mean, it's entirely...

They can do what they want, but...

But Edmund would come and...?

He might come and...

-..if he could afford to gather the shekels that were left...

-Yes.

..and they hadn't found the doubloons

that I've been buried with...

Oh!

But...

We'll remember to frisk you.

Check my pockets, yes.

But, erm...

-..of course he could do something with it.

-Yes.

It's strange for a young person to take over the running

of a place like this.

As long as they've got their wits about them, they can...

and get the right help, they can make it manage.

It makes you grow up quickly.

It makes you have to grow up quickly, yeah.

Whoever takes the reins will have to deal with whatever surprises

the farm, the hall and the cafe may throw at them.

Service, please!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Look at that Parmesan.

You're doing Parmesan sculpture.

Mmm. Mmm.

Oh, look at those.

That's a sign of autumn, isn't it?

The sticky toffee pudding.

Today, slap-bang in the middle of lunchtime service...

Two soup, 43, please.

..the water supply to the cafe has suddenly dried up.

We have no water.

The guys haven't enough pressure to actually run the machines,

so, on a busy lunch day, you just get a backlog of everything and

it slows everything down.

With panic setting in, Desmond heads for the pump room.

We have...water problems.

-So, absolutely nothing?

-No pressure.

No pressure or no water?

No pressure, no water.

The cafe, the hall and the farm all rely on a free water supply

from an ancient well.

Well, it's jolly useful to have a good supply of water,

it's one of the most basic things.

It's nice to be independent, so we want to keep it going.

It's losing pressure going through this cycle, I think.

Desmond's very proud of his private water. He thinks...

And the private water makes delicious coffee at the cafe.

This takes nitrate out of the water.

This softens the water.

If Desmond's private supply fails permanently,

the cafe will be forced to connect with the mains -

a lengthy procedure costing thousands of pounds.

Will you go and see the cafe?

OK. Well, let's turn it off now.

Ah, that's gone up.

Perhaps there was an airlock?

Resetting the pump solves the problem - for now.

Well, that's good news.

There must have been a bit of an airlock.

As well as the supply becoming unreliable, Desmond's also worried

that the composition of the water is changing.

We have a concern.

It's now very corrosive.

Look, here, so corrosive.

Look.

It's turned this perfectly normal copper pipe to paper.

And then it makes a hole, so there's another problem.

Oh, God.

Despite these changes, the well water is filtered and regularly

tested and is still perfectly safe to drink.

Everything's more complicated than it used to be.

I wish we could go back to more primitive times.

Switching to mains water will be expensive,

so Desmond's hoping to find another solution.

We might be able to revive the other well.

-Oh, another well?

-Mm.

-Where's that?

-That's up there.

I'd love to try and revive the other well.

It may have a better quality of water.

Edmund!

There's something stinking in the hall and it's very fishy.

Edmund is back from university for a few days.

He's in bed.

Oh, hello.

Hello?

I think it's time to stir.

When home, he's put to work in the cafe and the gardens.

I'm slave labour.

Free labour as much as possible.

But it's his long-term plans that Desmond is interested in.

I changed from sociology to accounting and finance

just because it's more up my street,

and more... You can apply it to anything, any job, hopefully,

that I'd like to have in the future.

This house has bankrupted its owners in the past.

So, I'm aware of that,

and careful to look to the future and try and make the most of it.

You think you would like to come back to Norfolk?

-I mean, we do need to think long-term.

-Yeah.

He is not a townie and he's actually

prepared to put his weight behind the tool.

So... And he's got good ideas.

-You could do the cash flow with me, Edmund.

-Yes!

When's that happening?

Well, it's got to happen soon.

-Well, shall we have a go?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-In the columns - that would be good.

-Yeah, OK.

-Yeah.

If Edmund decides to take on Wiveton Hall,

he'll be inheriting fruit and barley fields, pigs, chickens,

and the tradition of raising a few hundred pheasants

for the shooting season.

But, this autumn, there's a problem.

Rats are stealing food from the pheasant feeders.

The rat is very clever.

We live on the edge of the marshes so, wintertime,

water levels rise,

and the rats come in, um, to the higher ground.

Occasionally we go out at night and try and shoot them.

This is what used to be used.

You push this down and you set it, very, very tenderly.

And the rat runs along and...

Anyway, now...

..people clean them up and put them on the wall of pubs.

Edmund's bought an attachment for his gun to help deal with the rats.

I've got a new night sight,

and we're going to try and have a go at shooting some.

I've pestered Dad for years, years, to get one.

It's like Call Of Duty, really.

You can shoot at the bottle of wine on the table at night.

If you turn the lights off.

Dad, look. Have a go.

Oh, my God.

OK, check it's open.

I've got the wrong glasses on.

-No.

-Oh.

-No!

There's a telly screen, Dad.

I see.

It's a very unusual way of shooting.

Look at the telly.

How exciting.

Don't shoot Rowley, please.

-No, he wouldn't.

-Oh, my God.

Quick!

You can see, they're lurking in the bushes.

Sh!

We want to just see what they look like, identify them as creatures.

-Oh, there's a pheasant?

-What?

-I'm not sure what it is.

-Let's have look.

There!

-Oh, yes!

-What is it?

Pheasant.

There we are. Let's go and catch one.

On a rat shoot, stealth is vital.

DOOR ALARM BEEPS

Ruddy hell!

-I can't see anything.

-Well, wait, cos you...

Your lights are on, Dad.

-I mean, that just completely defeats the point.

-OK.

I need a night sight to drive with!

We need goggles!

Stop, Dad, stop, stop.

-Look at the rabbits.

-Where?

There! Just stop! Stop, stop.

Lights off, Dad, lights off.

We're not quite experienced night-sighters yet.

We're not experienced night-sighters. Now, look here.

This is where the rat holes are.

Yeah.

There are a lot along the edge of the field.

It's like looking for the Siberian tiger.

There it is. Now, stop, stop, stop.

What's that there?

Oh, look, there he is. There he is.

Yeah.

How exciting.

Shoot it now.

-Yes!

-Yes!

Let's go and get it.

Here's the torch.

-Here's the torch, Edmund.

-Yeah.

Oh, it's massive.

What?!

Look at that.

Bring it back, Edmund.

Urgh!

Bring it back.

We got the bastard.

Oh, God, how revolting.

That is a bull brown rat.

Now, put him on the hedge.

On top of the hedge, and then something, a creature, will eat him.

Ugh! Rat juice on the bonnet.

Look.

That's a nice sight.

Here they come.

After his father died, as the male heir, Desmond inherited the whole

of Wiveton Hall Farm.

They have, you know, rather a good life,

but then they do end up bacon.

His creative older sister, Mary, chose a different path.

I mean, I'm very glad it didn't land on my shoulders.

Not sure that I'd have been able to cope with it.

I'd have turned it into something, I don't know,

quite different, perhaps.

I might have turned it into a hippie commune in those days.

The next in line is Edmund.

And, you know, he loves it,

but it's a huge burden...

..and we'll just have to see.

If Edmund does take over,

he will inherit a business with hundreds of thousands of pounds

worth of debt.

This is where we have massive overheads.

Understanding the finances is key,

so Kim is taking him through the cash flow.

Your dad wants to consolidate the debt that's there at the moment.

So, what we have to do is predict...

What you think... What you think is going to happen.

You've got a cafe, cottages, shop,

farm - stall and deliveries we don't even do.

That doesn't happen any more?

Not really. Then the rental is Noel, Francis and your grandma

in the rented properties. They pay rent.

Does Granny pay rent?

Should does pay rent.

Bastard!

We need to know...

..what's ahead. Where does he want it to go?

And, actually, it's a conversation for Edmund and Desmond, really.

It's a succession issue.

-A lot of pressure.

-Come back in ten years.

If I want to have a job, it's not fair.

No, of course not.

And that's why it's an important conversation for you two to have.

Dad may decide to give it to Isabel.

Yeah. There's always that.

That's always an option. May cut me out.

That's just to make you behave while you're at uni.

That's just a threat.

Oh, thank you, Isabel, for coming.

Have you got your farming shoes on?

Desmond's younger child, Isabel, could also inherit Wiveton.

But, so far, she's followed her Aunt Mary to art school in London.

Gently, gently, gently.

Isabel, well, she must find out what she's good at.

There, well done.

Every family situation,

their children are heirs to the thrones in different ways.

And, so, of course...

But, one mustn't put expectations on.

Today, she's back, helping her father to move some pigs

and keeping him company.

Yeah, he doesn't like being alone.

He has to have someone to play with.

Shall we put it in the third snotch?

I think it's called a snotch.

This is farming the old ways.

Oh, Teddy's here!

Teddy's come to help.

I think I need a hammer.

We need a hammer, we need the cable, we need the hut.

Come on. Leave that, you're not tired yet.

Because we do need help.

It may not be your thing, but when the world changes...

..who knows what we might have to do?

We might be servants to some Japanese mogul.

COCK CROWS

I think a little stirrup cup, don't you?

Mmm!

Oh, so good.

A little port.

The water supply from the well is still causing problems for the cafe,

so Desmond's on the hunt for a new supply,

which could save him thousands of pounds.

We've got another old well here.

It's from a different source in the strata, it's from the gravel

rather than the chalk.

We'll get the ladder out first.

If we can get it working, and there's a good enough supply,

it will save a lot of money by not having to pay the water authority.

But, first, a sample of water must be gathered for analysis.

You told me you did some cave-diving in your youth.

-I did.

-It's going to come in handy.

He's roped in his gardening team, Peter and Beamish, to help.

-You loved cave-diving, didn't you?

-Yeah.

I'd like you to get a hosepipe from here.

You know where to go, don't you?

Just up there and to the left.

That's the air supply for you, Peter.

I don't believe I'm going down there, Desmond, please?

I would go down, but I've done something to myself.

You are walking a bit strange.

I know.

If the water in the well is drinkable,

it could be the answer to Desmond's water supply problems.

First rule is...

..do not fall down the well.

Now...

This is an old well.

I think medieval.

Oh, call the dog away. Bloody stupid dog.

And the idea is to revitalise the well to try and get a new

and vibrant supply of water.

Good God!

Look at that mouse! Look.

Don't you go in there!

You lunatic!

-Now, don't mess about, OK?

-OK.

Pay attention. Make that dog sit.

We've disturbed his home.

-Now, look, we'll lower the ladder down.

-Eh?

You won't get that down there, Desmond, that's 50 foot!

Will we not? Is it too deep?

What you want to get is a plumb line.

Just drop it in and then measure the rope.

OK, well, get the water sample anyway.

Call the bloody dog away! Go on!

-Now, what we're doing, Beamish...

-Yep.

..we'll bring it up. You will take the first sip.

Don't break the bottle!

And will you get the ladder across there, please?

Lay it across the middle of the thing.

Yeah, well, he's in the way, isn't he?

OK, lovely, there.

Oh, you didn't get much.

Well, look at that. That's clear as...

Absolutely perfect.

No, no, no!

Fine.

Not bad. Try it.

I think I might pass.

It's all right, here.

Shall we get another one?

Peter, don't...

Spit it out.

Very good. Not salty.

Shall we get another test, Peter?

We want to get the whole thing filled.

-If you put the ladder through.

-Tastes all right.

Proper sample.

The water sample will be sent off for testing.

It'll be a few weeks before Desmond finds out whether it's safe to use.

Thank you, Beamish.

We've got a snail. We've got...

..twigs.

It's not bad.

It's quite medieval looking.

Slightly, erm, slightly cloudy and there are foreign bodies.

I hope I don't feel ill later.

If Peter and I keel over and Beamish doesn't,

we'll know there's something funny.

That is amazing.

That's like a farm duck.

They are a little bit furry,

but if we'd had more time we'd have singed them.

Desmond's organised a send-off dinner for Edmund,

who is returning to university.

Wild duck, shot this morning on the marsh, is on the menu.

Don't think you need bacon. There's so much fat on the duck.

You have orange or not?

Oh, I love orange, yes.

Cos it sort of cuts the grease.

And adds a little sharpness to it.

Canard a l'orange.

OK.

After the cookery lesson, they are joined by some close friends.

I'm very well, nice to see you.

I've got Mr Snodgrass coming this evening.

Mr Snodgrass and Mr Clutterbuck.

-You're on safari?

-Safari, yes!

As you say, you couldn't make it up.

Don't push me away.

'Mr Snodgrass, he's enormous,'

so he likes coming here cos there's plenty of room.

And then Guy, who is Mr Clutterbuck,

said he'd bring what he called refreshment.

So, that's good.

We'll toast happy birthday to Edmund.

Happy birthday.

-21st.

-When?

Last September!

LAUGHTER

That's good enough, isn't it?

What shall we have?

-A bit of mallard?

-Mallard, yeah.

Mallard.

Widgeon, teal...

Or porcupine?

-I'll do without the porcupine.

-No, have a bit of porcupine.

Oh, how exciting. I'm not waiting for anyone.

First duck of the season. First bit of creature to be eaten.

This is absolutely delicious.

Mmm, really good.

The secret to this is resting it, Edmund, well done.

It's not too hard.

I mean, he's going to university,

and there's some lovely girls in Northumberland.

-You know why there are beautiful girls in Northumberland?

-Why?

There's a great genetic combo.

Because there's Irish from the shipbuilders

and the Vikings, the Scandinavians.

Edmund's future at Wiveton Hall is still uncertain but, one day,

he will need to decide whether to follow in his father's footsteps.

That was a borrowed, very nice tweed coat.

Look at the old cars.

Me. That's tidy.

Nice tweed jacket.

Is that you in bed?

-Yes.

-What is on your face?

That's fur!

That's horrible.

Time flies.

What do you want to Edmund to do?

Oh, the cliche is, oh, he wants to be happy.

Anyway, I think happiness is massively overrated.

What's wrong, Teddy?

I think he knows I'm going.

He always gets a bit sad.

He gets lonely.

I'm not going to come back here for at least 20 years.

Well, if we can get 20 years out of Dad.

We'll see.

If he can hack it till 80.

I need some shirts.

We're quickly raiding Dad's wardrobe.

We'll wait and see.

We'll wait and see.

I'd like to think I've still got a little bit of life

in the old dog yet.

All done.

I would be cheesed off if I make it over to him,

the moment it's his, he sells and

turns it into a golf course.

Next time...

Oh, my God.

..Desmond's rape crop comes under attack.

It's quite an effort getting rid of these pigeons.

His girlfriend joins him for an evening.

Oh, Jesus!

..with the pigs. SNORTING

The pigs are looking well, aren't they?

And Desmond celebrates his 60th birthday...

Oh, my God!

..in style.

Welcome to the Swinging '60s.

CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS

It is terribly important to have a good time.