My Mum Small Teen Bigger World

'My name is Jazz. This is my mum Bev. I'm going to be 17 soon.

'It'll be an extra special birthday, because it's the first one I'm going to spend with my dad, Paul.'

'Brilliant. I didn't think I'd do anything with her,'

because I didn't know that I'd ever see her again.

My mum brought me up alone, because she found out my dad was using drugs.

I thought, "I'll be looking after two children." I didn't want to do it.

'By the time I was a year old, my dad was a homeless drug addict.

'But now Dad's on a methadone programme

'he's back in my life, and we're getting on well.

'I only wish I could say the same about my other relationships.'

Stop it, Jazz!

'I don't have enough time for my boyfriend.'

It's hard when you've got so many people to see at the weekend.

'But the biggest problem I'm facing is that me and Mum used to be really close,

'but now every time I see her, we fall out.'

-No, you're not having another one.

-Shut up!

-No way.

-Can you get your fingers off me?

-No!

'I'm hoping a holiday together will give us time to bond.'

-Here at last.

-I know! I'm so excited!

'But in Marrakech, we go from being tourists...'

Quick, quick, quick!

'..to becoming a tourist attraction.'

Notice how quickly we're being followed? It's like being Madonna.

This is my life as a small teen exploring an even bigger world.

I'm under four feet tall, but I have big plans for my future.

I want to work with animals.

To achieve my dream, I am studying animal welfare.

I live here at college, and like many students, spend most evenings debating life's great questions.

What do you think of this one?

I think it's a bit cas, Jazz.

Definitely, like, a little bit more flirty.

What?! I'm not looking to pull, am I?!

We are going to the cinema. You can't wear that to the cinema.

True.

'But it's not just us who are acting like teenagers.

'Since my dad Paul has become part of my life again,

'him and Mum have been flirting non-stop,

'but now Dad has some competition.'

This is my new friend...companion.

-Is it?

-It's...

-Very sad, isn't he?

-He's not sad! He's just jealous.

I like the quiff.

-But, listen, see that? Can you hear anything?

-No.

-He's not arguing back.

Ah, that's good for you, innit?

Do you like him? I need a name for him, though.

Bob the blow-up boyfriend.

If Bob does it for you, then go for it.

He wants you to be his best man.

BOTH LAUGH

Yeah!

Can you pass me that T-shirt that we bought at Christmas? I got it out specially.

-Do you think it should be that way?

-No.

-Security.

You definitely won't get burglars now, with him at the door.

Right, you can go and do your jobs now.

I've done them.

You haven't, you haven't watered... And you can take all the things...

We're going to have some quality alone time now.

And Bob will be buying me a Valentine's card and a present.

I know, I'm so excited.

I can't go to Paris. I've been there and done that.

'While Mum is playing with dolls, I've got work to do.

'As part of my college course, I'm doing a placement at my local RSPCA.'

-Hello!

-Hiya, you OK?

Yep. Right, what needs doing, then?

'It's great to be working and to be treated like an adult.'

People, when they first meet me

and before they even speak to me, they treat me like a child,

even if they know how old I am.

Because they think, "Oh, she's small, she must have the brain of a child."

And it's not true, it's like, I'm just as intelligent as everyone else.

That's what I'm trying to prove.

That I can function and live just like everyone else.

And it does really annoy me sometimes.

I'm really enjoying my work experience,

but I can't wait for the weekend to come, because it's my 17th.

This will be the first birthday I'll celebrate with my dad,

so he's going to get me a special present and I know exactly what I want.

I want a snake because I've got a lot more confident with them now.

I wasn't very confident with them when I first started handling them.

I would like one of my own.

My mum said, after we got Paddy, our other dog,

that I wouldn't be allowed any more pets, but we'll see.

'I've been so busy I haven't told Dad what I want yet.'

Obviously she'll want some sort of animal,

but you buy her an animal - it's at your house.

-OK? That's the rule.

-Can't have any more animals.

She will pull your heartstrings.

When we went to pick up your fish, she was all over the lizards

-and how beautiful they are and how she'd love one.

-Yeah, yeah.

I'll say this at me peril...

but she can't have any more animals.

She can. Oh, she can. She will be.

I'm really, really worried,

'because she has not seen him'

for 16 years and this is his first birthday present to her.

So whatever she wants,

'she's going to have.

'From a giraffe to an elephant,'

he would buy her anything.

'Jazz has asked for a snake and Bev's said no.'

So she's come and asked me, and I just said yes straightaway.

Hi, I'm here to get a corn snake.

Any particular one, or just...?

I'm not really bothered about the colouring - it's the temperament, really.

They're nice colours, innit?

-Yeah.

-Bit more lively, this one.

-Oh, decisions, decisions.

I'm going to find this really hard to choose.

'I think I do have a bit of a pet addiction, really. I say,

' "No more after this one, no more after this one,"

'and I end up getting about ten more. They make me really happy.'

I think that first one was still really nice.

Do you want to hold it?

Yeah, go on, then.

Just put your hand out like that.

-I really like this one.

-I think that's the best one, that.

Cos it's not bothered that you're handling him, is it?

It's important to me for her to have what she wants, really,

'because this is the first birthday with her,'

so I just want her to have what she wants.

-I think I'm going to go for this one.

-Yeah?

We'll get that one, I think. That'll be the best.

'Brilliant doing this with her,'

cos I didn't think I'd ever be doing anything with her

cos I didn't know that I'd ever see her again.

I can't wait to get it home and in its new house and...

-And your mum can't say no, can she?

-No, exactly!

I think it's brought us a lot closer together, choosing an animal.

He's learning about what I like

and I think it's just a nice birthday thing to do.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Thank you, Dad!

OK, love.

'Another little pet'

to add to the menagerie!

And who will be looking after it in two weeks' time when she's back at college?

Moi! See, I know French.

It's my birthday today and for Mum, the memories come flooding back.

What time is it now?

Twelve o'clock.

-Oh. This is the time she was born.

-Right, here you are.

Sorry. Stupid, aren't I?

Remembering the day I was born is difficult for Mum and Dad.

It was the beginning of my life, but the end of their relationship.

Have you got a pen?

HE MOUTHS

Dad has now been back in our lives for nearly four months.

But writing a birthday card together

is still a new experience for both Mum and Dad.

-I'm sorry...

-Never written one before.

We didn't even write a Christmas card together.

"I'm here for your birthday and I will be here for ever.

"Love you loads." Then put kisses.

17 kisses.

-I feel so old! Do I look it?

-SHE CHUCKLES

-No.

-You're not even looking at me!

I don't need to look at you.

-You went, "No."

-I look at you 24 hours a day.

-Such a typical bloke.

I said, "Do I look all right?" And you went, "Yeah." You weren't even looking at me.

Because I look at you 24 hours a day, that's why.

-No, you don't. That's just stalking, that's weird!

-BOTH LAUGH

We actually went out and bought this together. We stood in the shop,

I picked this up and I started reading the words,

and I always know the right card cos I cry, and Paul went,

"£1.79?!"

-First time me wallet has been open for ages!

-BOTH LAUGH

"From your dysfunctional mummy and daddy."

I don't know how she's grown up so normal.

As a birthday treat, Mum has organised for me and Naomi to be pampered.

I'm so relieved, as normally she arranges surprise parties for me, and I hate surprise parties.

ALL: # Happy birthday, dear Jasmine... #

# Happy birthday to you! #

Where is she?

'But Mum loves birthdays and making a fuss.'

Oh! LAUGHTER

Bye.

Right, I'm off to meet Jazz now.

She's going to absolutely blow her top.

She hates surprises, she hates birthday parties.

She hates all that, and I've done it anyway.

And I still haven't got my make-up on and I'm ten minutes late, as usual.

So I'm going to run into the toilets now,

and then you might get the end of me being killed. Bye!

Last year, my 16th birthday turned out not to be the big celebration

me and Mum had dreamt of.

Mum had had a breakdown and we were in Hemel Hempstead,

hundreds of miles away from my grandparents and my friends.

Now, a year on, things are very different.

-ALL:

-Surprise!

# Happy birthday to you... #

'I knew it was too good to be true.

'Mum HAS organised a surprise party.

'I wish she would listen to what I want,

'but at least it means this year I've got all my friends and family around me.'

It was your dad's idea!

Everything is completely different.

'My last birthday, I felt very lonely,'

very unsettled.

Can we have a little drink now, please, to celebrate?

Now I know where I'm living, I know what I'm doing, I'm in college,

my dad's here, my brother's here, I've got Naomi back

and it's all so much more settled.

Speech! Speech!

She's still my baby.

ALL CHEER

She will never grow up to me. She's going to be my baby for ever.

I'm proud of what she's turning into.

Cheddar!

Oh, that is a beauty, that, yes.

That's one definitely for the album.

But there was someone missing from my birthday celebrations -

my boyfriend Levi.

'When I first met Levi, it was all flowers and excitement.'

-How are you, darling?

-I do feel so much better.

-Oh, good.

'But a couple of months into the relationship,

'we're struggling to spend time together.'

I just don't get to see you.

I'm always there for you down the phone.

It's just really hard when you've got so many people to see at the weekend.

-It's all hectic.

-Yeah.

It's so annoying with college and that. It's going to be another whole week.

-I know. It's horrible.

-Yeah.

'Even though Levi is lovely, juggling dating and college is really hard.

'I hardly ever have time for my friend Naomi.'

-How's it going with Levi?

-It's great at the start.

Like, it's all the thrill of the chase and all that,

and after it's like, "Oh, God."

I think I'm just really trying to just focus on my studies at the moment.

I'm just throwing myself into my work,

cos this is such an amazing opportunity, I can't pass it up.

I just feel distracted at the moment with everything going on.

Focus on your work.

Yes, teacher!

Talking to Naomi makes me think I'm being pulled in too many directions.

Something has to give.

I've known Levi quite a while now, but I've known my friends since I was six. It's a big difference

and I'm not going to put that at risk for anyone,

because they mean the world to me. And so does he

but it's just sort of getting awkward now, getting really awkward,

because he wants to spend all this time with me and I don't want to.

Not many people marry and live happily ever after

with their first 16, 17-year-old boyfriend

that you meet at school or college.

It's just too serious for me. I'm 16.

I've got so much on,

I just want to chill and just do what I want, when I want.

She has to go through the good and the bad bit, and I've just got to be there

and I can't give relationship advice. Really not the person.

Jasmine's always said to me,

"Your track record, Mum, speaks for itself."

It was really difficult to do, but I ended my relationship with Levi.

But at least I've got something to distract me - my snake, Bubblegum.

Mum's given in and is allowing him to live in the flat.

It's not pleasant.

We have to put a little baby mouse in a pot

and heat it up a bit, defrost it.

I always feel really guilty, like it's my fault, you know,

that that mouse died, but it's nature and I know that.

It was quite hard to get used to but now it's fine.

I don't see it as a baby mouse any more, really. I just see it as food.

Oh, its guts are coming out. Oh, God.

I'm sorry, mousey.

'But Mum is still not happy with my choice of pet.'

I'm just going to ignore it.

-Jasmine calls them pinkies. I'm not looking.

-They are pinkies.

They're not - they're dead, frozen mice.

I like snakes. I just don't like this bit,

where she gets, from my freezer,

with my veggie burgers and all the rest of it,

in a packet, some dead, frozen mouse - a baby one -

and then melts it or something.

Oh, God.

Please don't bite me.

You see, Dad bought this cos she wanted one.

I said, "No, we don't need any more pets."

There you go - have your dead mouse.

Dinner! Lovely.

Don't be getting out.

Yeah, DON'T be getting out.

If it ever gets out, it's going. It's going.

Isn't that lovely?

Oh, look at the size of its gob.

-Mouth.

-Sorry.

Gob's...common. Cos I'm dead posh and you're dead posh, remember?

-And are you still deciding to call him Bubblegum?

-Yeah.

-You haven't changed it?

-No.

It's such a cute name. But when you see it, you think,

"Oh, what if it gets out?"

Its name is officially going on its papers.

Right, let's put you back now.

Nice and safely.

Put the padlock on.

I wonder what that little mouse's name was,

before it was murdered and then stuck in a freezer.

There you go.

He's getting bigger.

Oh, good. Is it going to stay in that tank for ever?

-No, I'll get it a bigger tank.

-Why do you need a bigger tank?

-Cos it'll grow bigger.

-Yeah, but only that much.

No, it is one of the smallest snake species in the world,

but it still grows about four foot.

I'm sorry?

-That's going to grow to four foot tall?

-Maximum.

And it's staying in... A four-foot snake?

And he'll be about that thick.

No.

I can't believe you've got an animal that's bigger than me!

It will soon be half term and Mum wants to take me on holiday

and, of course, that means shopping!

Not too much money in here, love, please.

Yep, OK.

-Right, what kind of things do you still need?

-Jogging stuff.

Jogging stuff. Why? Are you jogging?

Oh, that's nice, isn't it?

-No.

-Isn't it?

-No.

-OK.

-Well, they're nice.

-Nope, definitely not.

-I like that.

-No.

-No?

-No.

-I don't know your taste any more.

-I don't like that.

-You seem to change, it's like... That's you, with the petals.

-No.

I get messages going, "Isn't your Jasmine lovely?"

I go out to the shop, "Isn't your Jasmine lovely?" Is she?

There's a time when you'd have gone, "Mum, they're gorgeous".

And now I don't know what to say.

They're terrible.

No, they aren't. I like that, though.

-That's awful.

-See?

We've got completely different styles, absolutely different.

My mum wears a lot of flowery,

sort of...like "indie-ish" clothes.

-I like these, that's pretty.

-No.

-For me?

-No.

-How about for me?

-So last century.

I AM last century!

In the last year, she has become a typical teenager

and the never-has-anything-to-wear syndrome.

-Jazz, what about these earrings?

-No.

-I would think, "Yeah, Jazz would like something like that."

-No.

-You used to wear something like that, remember?

-Used to.

-And we lost it and you went mad.

I'm very...skinny jeans, black and white.

She will wear ridiculous amounts of jewellery.

She'll have it up to there.

I'm not going to say anything. Everything I like, you go, "That's horrible".

-Oh, I like that.

-No.

-What do you think?

-No, definitely not.

And if I say, "Will you stop being like this?"

"Er, you'll find all teenagers are like this."

No, not all of them.

Oh, Jazz, can I just try these on?

-They're terrible.

-Come and look with me. Look.

THEY LAUGH

You don't have to be a typical teenager,

because I will start being a typical mother.

Terrible.

No-one will recognise me.

Just walk away.

BEV GIGGLES

One of the reasons I don't buy clothes for you...

D'you remember I used to buy you a load of stuff?

-I wouldn't let you dress me now.

-Why? I wouldn't dream of it any more.

Them days are over.

'Not letting Mum pick my clothes isn't the only way our relationship has changed.'

Wouldn't you be better with your shoes on?

'We used to be really close,

'especially after I was badly bullied at school about my size.

'It was a really unhappy time for me, so Mum began teaching me at home.

'We spent every minute of every day together.

'For 16 years, Mum's life was totally focused on bringing me up.

'But now she hardly sees me because I live at college.'

If you keep your arm out, he's quite happy there.

They're lovely, they are.

Mine and my Mum's relationship is changing quite a lot, quite quickly.

It's strange to just completely go from living with my mum 24/7

and being so dependent on her, to coming...

Living in a new environment.

They call it the "empty nest syndrome".

Jazz isn't just my daughter - Jazz has been my life for 16 years.

I thought, "What am I going to do instead? What's going to be better than that?"

Jasmine was her little girl and all of a sudden,

she became a teenager, she became a woman.

It's been very, very hard for Bev.

The baby's flown the nest.

It's like reaching for her

and she's just out of reach.

The feeling that you've lost something is there.

I miss her.

And the first two months,

I didn't even realise that I was angry with her

for, "How dare she be away?"

Stop it, Jazz!

We've been arguing a lot. Like, most weekends we argue.

-Don't tell me what to buy.

-You don't need loads of bottles.

I'll go and buy 20 now, just to annoy you.

-Don't even know the names.

-You being sarcastic?

-Trying to cheer myself up.

You were just having a go at me.

'We just can't seem to see eye-to-eye at the moment.'

I think I'm going to start being less bright blonde.

Ooh, look at that. That's just wire.

You go down, up.

-No, I want this bit to be light and this bit darker.

-This bit's...

'I don't know whether it's just us adjusting

'to living away from each other, or whether it's me.

'I don't know whether it's me being awkward or argumentative.

'I cant really put my finger on what it is.'

-Bit more wine.

-I never see you without a drink in your hand.

Ow! You're hurting me on purpose now.

I'm not! It's caught!

'She sometimes forgets that one glass of wine to her,

'cos of her body size and weight,

'that's like having two or three glasses of wine every night.'

-Mum.

-What?

-Sit still.

-I'm pouring my drink out.

-You're not having another one.

-Sod off!

-No way!

-It's had apple juice in.

-Move.

-You drink every day for the last two weeks. No!

-Dad, have I drunk every day for the last two weeks?

-No.

-Thank you.

You told me you've had at least one every day.

-So why are you telling me different?

-Get your fingers off me!

-No! Let me finish your hair!

-I'll drink it out the bottle, then.

-I don't care. Let me finish your hair!

Let me finish your hair!

God!

Jazz, I've worked very hard on lots of things.

No, you haven't today. You haven't worked hard today.

'What Jazz does an awful lot of is'

"What have you been doing?", to me.

I potter all day. I do things like put the washing in,

then put it on there to dry and then do this and then do that,

then ring up for this and then book that, not all for me.

I have to give her a list of what I've been doing with my day.

To my own daughter, in my own house.

-Mostly phone work.

-Yeah, and I make sure all the bills are paid.

Is that a typical teenager? I don't know.

-It's blue.

-What?

-It's blue.

-I've got blue hair?

-You can see you haven't got blue hair!

-What did you say it's blue for?

Mum doesn't seem to understand that I'm not being a stroppy teenager.

I just desperately want to break free.

But it's not as easy for me to stop relying on others,

especially when it comes to getting around.

Where there's a lot of walking to do, it's really not possible.

We have to remember that one of our strides is three of Jasmine's.

'In the past I've used my mobility scooter,

'but it does nothing for my street cred.'

-Will you be able to take me?

-I will, indeed.

It's only two minutes away.

'Grandad's amazing about giving me lifts,

'but I can't wait to be independent.'

Grandad, will you be around on Sunday to take me back to college?

Yeah, Sundays I'm always available for you to go to college.

-Next weekend we might go to the zoo - can you drop me?

-Yeah.

-Thank you.

Now I'm 17, I really want to learn to drive

But before I can get behind the wheel of a car,

I have to pass my theory test.

"When should you use hazard warning lights?"

-"When your vehicle's broken down and is causing an obstruction."

-A must.

I used to teach people to drive in 1956 when I came out of the Army,

so I've been slowly but surely

teaching her all these little tricks of the trade.

-This is...

-Another one you told me wrong!

-This is slowing-down signal.

-I think you're trying to sabotage me.

Oh, yeah. This is "overtake me", right?

'I think Grandad's signals might be a bit out of date.'

This is "overtake me" and that's "turn left".

-No, it's not.

-No, it's the other way round.

-Oh.

Now she's like 17, she's a little bit lippy,

and so I get more back off her than I can give to her nowadays.

-I don't think you should do your test.

-Yeah, cos I'd fail.

-Let's do part two.

-Only been driving 53 years.

It's just tremendous banter with her nowadays, it really is.

When I was in the garage as a 15-year-old lad

and used to go in the old 1938 Ford... No, the Morris...

I don't want to hear your sob stories.

I don't want to hear your sob stories.

..to the cake shop... The only thing you rode in them days were the trams.

-You are just trying to change the subject.

-No.

Stop trying to distract me.

The chief mechanic said to me, "Just avoid the trams,"

cos nobody else had a car in them days.

I've been studying driving theory for a month

and tomorrow, I sit the test.

I think, Jazz, that when you go for this test,

you may just be better on your own,

doing your own thing.

All I'm saying is, if you're stuck, use common sense, and I've seen you doing that.

How you feeling about if you do pass?

Terrified.

No, no. If you do pass, how would you feel?

Still terrified cos that would mean I'll have to learn to drive.

I know you'll do it, love.

-Oh, God.

-Jazz, you can only do your best.

-I know.

I love you. Whatever happens, I love ya.

I wasn't the only one who was nervous.

Nan and Grandad were too, as they waited at home for news.

-But when you actually go in a room...

-It's just the nerves.

It's like that programme we watch - Anne Robinson. Weakest Link.

-I'm a bit nervous.

-If she's not passed, she can do it again.

At least next time she'll know and she won't have the same nerves, will she, next time?

Ooh, she's here!

-Is it good news?

-Is it good or bad?

Don't get too excited, but I passed!

CHEERING AND LAUGHTER

I knew you would!

I did it!

-How many marks did you get?

-49 out of 50.

-How many?

-49 out of 50!

Oh!

Absolutely amazing.

Oh, God!

It's just amazing.

-Thank you for...trying to help me pass.

-Yeah.

-Yes.

For the next week, my dad will be looking after Bubblegum

and all my other pets, as I'm going on holiday with Mum.

Me and Mum really need a holiday.

We've always, always wanted to go to Marrakech in Morocco.

We both love travelling.

It's the one thing we share together that is what we both enjoy.

I'm going to be wearing greyish things, like those. So they'll go.

-We don't want the bright pink ones at all?

-No, no.

They're coming out, then.

And then maybe one or two going-out-y shoes.

-But we can't take much more than that.

-Yeah, I know. We can't just wear them for seven days.

-How cool is that?

-Mm-hm.

-No, really?

-Yeah...

All right, not with the dressing gown.

I'm more or less... That is me done.

'When we go to a new country, we like to learn a bit of the language,

'so we can totally immerse ourselves in the culture.'

-Is there any phrases that you particularly think that you need?

-"I don't want to buy that."

-Cos I know they...

-"I don't want to buy that"?

-Or, "No, thank you."

-Right, "kif-kif"...

-"Kif-kif."

..meaning, "Whatever, we'll see." "Kif-kif." Really easy.

-Imshi.

-We know what "imshi" is - what's "imshi" mean?

-You tell me - I know what it is.

-When you have to be impolite and they get on your nerves,

you do this, look. See, what they do, they go, "Imshi."

"Saphi" means "that's enough".

You're learning all the words for "bugger off", basically.

"Piss off, bugger off, go away, get lost, leave me alone." All them words.

Is that what you're learning?!

And I'm learning, "Hello, how are you?" You'll be going, "Imshi, imshi!"

In fact, that's probably the only word you'll use in Arabic.

I think you're better learning that one - "very sorry". "Ana asif".

Very easy. "Ana asif." "Ana, ana asif" - "very, very sorry."

And then you can just do that. I'm sure that translates in all languages.

And then just to do a funny face, and then go to me, "Imshi."

"I'm very sorry, my mum is drunk, I will take her back to the hotel!"

Could you learn that line?

'I'm hoping that spending time with Mum will help bring us closer again.'

Why is this so much more important than any other holiday?

-Cos we haven't got to spend time together, have we?

-No.

-In ages.

I'll wake up with you, go to sleep with you.

We'll eat together. We'll pick clothes together,

-we'll do girly shopping together.

-Me-and-you time.

-Me and you and the rest of Marrakech.

-Yep.

-I can't promise to behave but I promise to have fun.

-Yeah.

Me and Mum have travelled to 18 different countries together,

and done some amazing things.

Beverly has never allowed her disability to stop her from doing anything or going anywhere.

And off they go and you worry - you do worry about them.

But Nan and Grandad have no need to worry.

We're really excited to arrive in Marrakech.

Taxi!

Riad La Rose. Yeah?

-Here at last!

-I know! I'm so excited!

Marrakech is beautiful, busy, colourful, inspiring, overwhelming, you know.

It's such an amazing place.

The colours. Just, pow!

Look at that, Jazz! That is original!

-Look, there's oranges growing, look, look!

-Yeah!

-Oh, wouldn't you just love to stop there now?

-Wow.

I'm sure I must have annoyed her. "Jazz, look at that, look at this!"

Look at that!

I'm nudging... "Look at this, look at this!"

-Aw, look at that place!

-Yeah.

-Wouldn't you love to just sit in there tonight?

I just... I can't wait to get out and see it all.

It's like, "Oh, look, look, look at that little shop! Look at this, look at this!"

Oh, my God! Look at that donkey!

Oh, quick, quick, quick!

-Look at the fruit on it. Wouldn't that look a fabulous picture?

-It would be an amazing picture.

I just love the way it comes alive at night, this place.

I am absolutely amazed.

Yeah, I can't wait to get up tomorrow morning,

feeling refreshed and had a good sleep, eat a nice breakfast

and get out there and see everything.

I think every single bit is going to be so exciting.

-I'm just generally excited about all of it.

-The food, the people. The weather's perfect.

-I'm so glad I'm spending it with you, as well.

-Yes.

-I've always wanted to come here with you, haven't I?

-Yeah.

Instead of staying in a hotel, we've booked a traditional villa called a riad.

-Oh! Filter coffee.

-This is so nice.

-This is just...

-I can't wait to dig in! Where do I start?

-How many calories is that, then, Jazz? 975,000?

-I don't care.

'Mum wants to bond over breakfast...'

I hope we're going to have the most amazing holiday.

'..but I've got competition for my Moroccan honey and jam.'

-Ugh!

-They're not going to sting you.

-It'll go. It'll go.

-Urghh!

-Are you going to do that every breakfast?

-Is it on me?

I am not sitting with you through breakfast, you going, "There's a wasp!"

It's cos you're wafting about!

You work with snakes and tarantulas and you're sat there

having your breakfast like this, going, "Get that little tiny...!"

-I don't like wasps.

-Well, he's going to eat...

-Have the honey and go.

You WILL enjoy this holiday! I've paid for it!

You will bloody enjoy it! You got that?

Now the food is cleared away, we can finally try to talk.

You really deserve this holiday. I think I do as well, but I know you do.

I just...wanted to spend some time, you know, chatting again.

-Just general chat.

-It's not like I'm trying to get back

-to the me and Jazz that we used to have, but a new me and Jazz...

-Yeah.

..cos we're both older, we're both changing, evolving, yeah?

-That headband looks really nice on you.

-Oh, thank you.

I didn't think I'd be able to pull it off but... THEY LAUGH

You see, this is what I miss -

just chatting about headbands and chatting about girly stuff.

I miss YOU.

I really do.

I'm a little anxious.

Mum's got something planned and she won't tell me what.

My mum loves surprises and I hate them,

but I'm so glad that Mum kept this one as a secret.

-Are you all right with that? You're on the front.

-Hello. Hello. Hello.

-Oh!

-Look at your face!

-He's so cute! Can we keep him?

-Are you all right with him?

Oui?

'Because we're little, people assume they can lift us up without asking...

'especially when we're abroad.'

Thank you.

You're staying with us? No? We're not pulling her on our own?

I don't know what I've booked.

'I've seen, all over the city, people going around on donkey and cart,'

thinking, "I want to do that! It looks great fun!"

-You've got to concentrate.

-I know.

-This hardly seems safe.

-Really hold on.

-To what?!

Me.

It's hardly...

-I wouldn't have been able walk this, and neither would you.

-..inconspicuous.

'A lot of people can't quite understand what it's like to be'

constantly looked at and constantly pointed out.

Look how old some of these places are. Look.

'It's not like we can just turn it on and off. We can never'

be anonymous - we can't just walk down the street and be ignored.

You know what I would like to buy? That size terrine.

We're always being watched and, like, criticised, almost,

and it really gets really tiring. It's just like, "Leave us alone!"

Aidez la femme.

La femme.

Merci.

Jazz, will you hold the bag?

Thank you. Ooh!

I don't know where to start!

You're the one shopping, so... just go, Jazz.

Going into the souks was incredible.

Look at that, Jazz.

'You know, the sights, the smells, the sounds are like nowhere else on earth.'

-Oh, look at that.

-See, it's high.

Oh! Step away from the bag stall! Don't even look at the bag stall!

-Oh, I see.

-That is really nice.

Look, yeah?

-We can't stop at every stall, Mum.

-No, I just want to buy one.

Jazz, look at that! Don't go too near her.

Get one in your bag!

Wow! Look at all these shoes, Jazz! Stop, Jazz! Stop!

-Like this, small.

-What size?

-Small, very small. This

-size.

-30...?

-I don't know, maybe smaller.

-Yes. One minute, yes?

-Yeah.

-Just one minute.

Jazz?

'No matter where we go, finding shoes that fit us is really hard.'

Much smaller. Smaller.

-Here, smaller.

-No, look - my size.

-Yes, yes, yes.

-They're too big.

-No, try a little bit.

-Really too big, really smaller.

-25, 22?

-I don't know.

-Try these.

-It's really too big!

They're bringing ladies' shoes out, for me. For me.

-Try.

-Too big, too big.

-Yes, yes.

-Very much too big.

Jazz, Jazz, you've got to see this. He's trying to persuade me to have that.

Yes.

'At last, Mum finds something that IS our size.'

You look beautiful in that.

I look like a freedom fighter!

A lot of women who actually wear them like them

because they become anonymous and they can move about

and be who they want and be the person they are underneath.

Now, we can't do that!

It'll still be, "There's Bev and Jazz!"

'Mum loves bartering and having fun with the market traders,

'but soon gets carried away and tries to trade me for a camel!

'Now that IS something I could have got the hump about!'

-One camel, one girl!

-Is very low price.

-No, it's not! No! Really, I promise!

-100 camel.

-You very... One camel.

Listen, don't be very stingy with her. She's very pretty girl!

May I offer you something? That is my gift to you.

-Wow!

-That's better than buying any present.

-That's amazing.

-That is lovely.

Immersing ourselves in the local culture is something that we love to do on holidays.

'One of the fun things about staying in a riad instead of a hotel

'is that the manager, Mustapha, wants to teach us how to cook local food.'

This one. Monkfish, then calamari second.

The next bit to go in is garlic.

-OK.

-Would you like to have a go?

-Erm, do you know what?

I think you should do it because you've got beautiful nails on.

Ooh! A bit of nail in. A bit of glitter going in there.

-I'm sure it will taste great.

-I'm sure!

When it comes to cooking, over the past few years, mine and Mum's roles have sort of swapped over.

I cook, you know, most of the food in the house for everybody

and I really enjoy it, but it is nice to be cooked for sometimes.

I used to cook a lot, and you won't remember it.

I even made your own baby food, and then you started to enjoy it

-so much that I just let you run with it.

-I just get in there and do it, really.

-Yeah.

-We have a good teamwork in that you cook, I enjoy it and then I clean the mess.

-Yeah.

BOTH: Wow.

Look what we've made.

'I think we really needed this holiday,'

because me and mum need some time together to reconnect.

It's quite hard...

Oh, I'm sure I'll manage chopping.

'Things are still tough'

between us and we're working our way through.

We want to work our way through, like, I suppose, when people are in marriages and they want it to last.

I'm rubbish. Do you know what? There!

This is why I don't do it!

They will work at it and maybe change and tweak things.

-You do this - I don't want to ruin my nails!

-No.

She doesn't do a lot.

Hopefully, over the next few days, we can spend some proper nice time together.

But it's mostly, we just need a rest. We both need a really nice rest.

But there's no rest for Mum.

I made a huge error - "Ooh! A roof terrace that overlooks the whole of Marrakech, fabulous!"

But it's up two flights of really, really steep stairs.

Mum has a serious lung condition, so climbing the stairs is extremely difficult

as she finds it hard to breathe.

I go up three stairs at a time and stop. Together and stop.

There are times I look at them and think, "I can't go up!"

I'd love to sit, just for an hour... Can't go up. Can't do it.

The end of Everest. The top!

-Hello!

-I've done it, Mount Everest.

BOTH: Hi!

-Oh, wow!

-Thank you for not burning it!

Thank you. You try it first.

-It looks amazing.

-You try it and I'll try it tomorrow.

Cheers to us, for being Moroccan chefs for the afternoon!

Tonight we're going to the city's main square,

which is full of traditional Moroccan entertainers.

'Everyone says we should go there because it is known to be very busy.'

I am quite nervous about it, to be honest.

People haven't seen a lot of people like us in real life.

They might have seen pictures on TV or in magazines, but not real-life short people.

That causes a huge array of reactions, from disgust and horror

to fear, to excitement, to knocking us over

and pushing past us, to not acknowledging us, to being over-friendly.

-How are you feeling?

-Nervous.

-Still nervous? They'll look for a minute and then they'll go.

WHISTLING AND DRUMMING

-I don't like this at all.

-You don't like it?

-No, I don't like it.

-Can I tell you something about the drumming?

-I don't like it.

I don't like it at all.

'Complete strangers are openly taking photos

'and filming us on their phones just because we're small.'

We've gone from being tourists enjoying the spectacle to becoming a tourist attraction.

'I've retreated to a local cafe, but Mum refuses to let the crowd stop her.'

Me and my mum are very different.

I'm good at dealing with things afterwards.

If people say things that are hurtful or laugh and point or stare,

at the time I panic and I hate it and it's awful.

Whereas Mum, at the time, is like, "It doesn't bother me,

"it's fine, ignore them." But then afterwards she gets upset about it.

I would prefer to just not care about it at the time

and enjoy the moment and live and learn and see the world

and worry about it afterwards.

-They're not real snakes, are they?

-Snake!

-They're real?!

-This is wood.

I thought they were real snakes! I was like, "Get away!"

Mum's had 30 more years of it than I have,

so maybe when I'm Mum's age, I'll be able to deal with it like she does.

They're not even saying, "Is it OK to take your photograph?"

Absolutely not bothered. And I understand it,

because I think I would do it if I was them

and that's what you have to...

You don't come here and expect to be completely anonymous,

but they'll do it in any country. It's not about being in Marrakech -

this is about the way people treat people with restricted growth.

It's like being Madonna, being followed.

I'm really going to go to Jazz, cos she will start to worry.

Sorry, excuse me, pardon.

-Hello.

-I missed you.

I missed you seeing it all with me, but you would have hated it.

-I know, I saw the crowd.

-THE crowd? The CROWDS.

It was, but I'm so glad you weren't there,

because it was just, the minute I stopped, it were just like...

The next morning, I'm determined not to let the events of last night

stop me from seeing the sights of Morocco.

We've escaped the city and are heading to a village.

It's literally another mountain to climb

because it's 6,000 feet up, in the Atlas range.

And getting Mum up there is going to be tricky.

Ooh, I'm taking one of these back to Colwyn Bay!

Who needs electric wheelchairs?

At home, I stick to taxis, scooters and friends and family take me round.

And here it's been quite liberating because it's whatever's there.

This is brilliant. It's so much easier than walking!

And I can see things!

Being 6,000 foot up in a Atlas mountain, let alone my mum...

Oh, wow!

Have you noticed that Jazz is more interested in the animals than me?

I was so proud of her, I thought that she'd give up half way

or, you know, really struggle, and she was just brilliant!

I spend so much of my life worrying about what I can't do,

and look what I CAN do!

-Jazz, come and look at this! Look at the sun on the mountain.

-Wow!

Can we just keep going to the top?

I got up a 6,000...metre, foot? Whatever it is, mountain!

How has that happened?

I look at the pictures afterward and go, "How did I do that? WHY did I do it?!"

When we got back down the mountain, there was something else I really wanted to climb on to...

a camel!

Getting to have a little ride on a camel was incredible.

I was petrified, but you've just got to hold on.

There's my daughter!

He just plodded along and he kept grunting and groaning

and it was just an incredible experience.

She'll be going, "I want a camel now! Can I have a camel as a pet?"

This is why we travel.

Aww, look at her face!

I found, even in the short time I've been here, we are getting on better.

-Not too near, because you'll see my lines.

-OK.

-So, on.

'I don't think anyone makes me laugh in the way that my mum can.'

-Sorry.

-Hi! Hi!

-Sorry, it was a bird.

-It's all right.

She understands me, my humour, my worries, my fears.

'She understands ME.'

Aw, that was... That was just ridiculous. That's me.

We've actually laughed. It's just me pulling silly faces

and her trying to get these fantastic shots, you know.

'Lovely little moment for us'

and they're rare at the moment, and it is because we're apart so much.

I can't believe how fast the time has gone.

It's the last day of our holiday, so me and Mum

are treating ourselves to a day in a hamam, for a traditional Moroccan bath.

Good morning, bonjour.

Right, off to the hammam in our lime green.

I'm sorry, I ordered it in Arabic - should have been bright pink.

'This week has been amazing,

'but one of the best parts for me was spending time with my mum

'and getting to talk to her and laugh and giggle and get ready.'

I haven't had that in a long time cos I've been at college.

I hadn't realised how much I missed it and I'm going home

'and it's going to be really hard to get used to not seeing her again.'

Ooh, that is gorgeous.

So relaxed.

I can't wait for this next bit.

When you first left and went to college, that was really, really, really hard.

Now I find it a lot easier.

I don't think just a holiday can...

'not repair damage, but I think it's a good foundation.'

You need a lot of things - you need communication,

you need understanding, you need to be able to let go.

And we're trying to let go of each other. That's really hard,

because... Not just because she's my daughter

but because she's a great person to be around.

I started to step back and listen and watch other people

as they listen to her and I'm going, "My daughter!"

I feel I can let her go now, go on.

Even though we're fine with each other at the moment,

I think we have drifted apart

and I think we don't appreciate each other enough.

At the end of the day, we're the only two people in the world

that completely understand each other...

..cos we've been through everything together.

Definitely have learnt here that I'm happier when we're closer, when we're talking more.

'It's taught me a great lesson to appreciate her a bit more.'

One thing that's going to happen with us is we won't see each other every day, like we used to,

but when we do see each other, we will make space for each other in our lives for each other for ever.

Because...I hope she doesn't want to lose that connection with me,

cos I never want to lose it with her.

Ooh, I'm glad I got dressed up.

I don't know if I'm going to whisper all night.

It'd ruin the ambience for a start - being gobby and Manchester-y.

'By spending time together in Marrakech, Mum may have finally learnt to let me go.

'And I've realised that, although I want to be independent,'

'I also really want to share my world with my mum.'

There isn't anybody on this earth that I would rather be here with tonight than you.

Thank you for an amazing week.

No, I mean it, Jazz.

'Next time... My life is full of change.

'I do work experience in an American veterinary hospital...'

-I don't want to go home.

-Uh-oh.

Oh, yes!

'..I learn how to drive...'

Oh!

'..and Mum gives Dad a makeover.'

"Hello, I've got no teeth."

'But is he really ready to change?'

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