Les Dawson The Many Faces of...


Les Dawson

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Get off!

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'Les Dawson is a legend in British comedy.

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'He brought laughter to the living rooms of Britain

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-'for 25 years.'

-I said, "Have you got anything cheaper?" He said, "Yes, you're wearing it".

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'He seemed an overnight success, but where did he come from

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'and what made his comedy so special?'

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It's very sophisticated. It's the finest kind of comedy.

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The rays of the hot August sun were filtering through the stained-glass windows in the medieval chapel,

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highlighting the antiquity of the Saxon altar and glinting on her father's rifle.

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If you can get tap dancers at 14 and a half stone to join me, by all means.

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His brand of humour was completely unique.

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What's up?

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He pretty much mastered every single form of comedy.

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It's quite easy to play the piano badly and not be funny.

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Ding, ding. Er...

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He's just got the iconic face. He's the seaside postcard face.

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I think some of us younger people did muddle him up with John Prescott for a while.

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He was a master of the mother-in-law jokes.

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He used to prowl round the house like a sort of warthog

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with a face like a bag of spanners.

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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much.

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-Well, I can't wait to introduce you to Les Dawson!

-APPLAUSE

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I'd like to play the piano for you. I was going to play you something from Mozart

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-but I won't because he never plays any of mine.

-LAUGHTER

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So instead, if I may, I'd like to play for you a very moving composition

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-written by Beethoven's eldest brother, Sid...

-LAUGHTER

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..as he lay tragically dying. Thank you.

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# And then they told me that I'd have to go

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LAUGHTER

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'It's 1967

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'and a new comedy star is born.

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'Les Dawson seemed an overnight success, but at the age of 38, he had served his time.'

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APPLAUSE

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'Les Dawson was born in 1931.

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'He had a hard upbringing in Collyhurst in Manchester.

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'The experience gave him a connection with countless families

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'and a reservoir of comedy material that would last a lifetime.'

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The hardy folk who lived in this working-class enclave of Manchester

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were the very salt of the earth.

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Proud people. They all had one possession they shared.

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Poverty.

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I would say that poverty informed everything.

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There were seven of them in the house where he was first brought up

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and I think that then led through to many, many things.

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Even the mother-in-law thing, that comes as a result of that,

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the working classes living with the mother-in-law,

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and father-in-law sometimes, but often the mother outlived the father.

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It all stems from a lack of finance.

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He was, erm, an autodidact as they say.

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He was self-educated. But he had a great deal of information

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and he processed it very, very intelligently.

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I don't want to sound condescending, but he was a very smart guy.

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'Young Les grew up with a fascination for words and a flare for music,

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'talents that would eventually help make him a household name for millions of TV viewers.

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'But not skills that count for much on the streets of Collyhurst.'

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To some degree, he had to shield it from his mates

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and he said once, "If you're walking round Collyhurst

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"with a volume of TS Eliot, you'd be thought to be a sissy."

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I used to box cos all the family was sporting, my father used to putt the shot.

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He was in line for the Olympics until they saw where he was putting it.

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But I boxed like all the kids did. I wasn't very good.

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I was carried out of the ring so often, I had handles sewn on my shorts.

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'Les's first ambition was to be a writer,

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'but as he settled into family life, he took any job to make ends meet.

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'All the time working up an act on the stages of the working men's clubs in the north of England,

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'something that did command respect if not much money.

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'It was a time when music and entertainment were being revolutionised in London.

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'A new style of comedy was on the horizon.

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'But even they admired the tradition of the northern comics.'

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And I'll tell you the interesting fact about the Arab.

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The interesting fact about the Arab is he can go for a whole year,

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he can go for a whole year on one grain of rice.

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Peter Cook made a huge impact in the late 50s.

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-A whole year on one grain of rice?

-No.

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And after Peter, that tradition began to develop

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and a lot of people in '63 finished up in show business

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because they were in the Footlights Revue

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and we all had an enormous affection for music hall.

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We loved the medium and we thought there was some extraordinarily funny and talented people

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working in music hall

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and of course, latterly, working in the working men's clubs,

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which were almost a northern phenomenon.

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And a lot of the work, like work everywhere, was pretty cliche,

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but the best work was absolutely wonderful.

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'Les had become well-known on the club circuit

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'and even made overtures to the BBC emphasising not his comic but his musical ability.'

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He wrote for his first audition at the BBC in Manchester in 1953

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and he had his first audition in 1954

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and the audition slip says, "Badly out of tune, no use for broadcasting."

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Because at that time, he was more a singer and a comedian than a comedian.

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And he sang, basically, straight.

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'Les's career was going nowhere.

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'He'd been tried out on regional television in 1962 on the long-lost Saturday Bandbox,

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'but in 1967 he was still selling vacuum cleaners.

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'His wife Meg had had enough.

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'Les had one last chance.'

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Ladies and gentlemen, it's Opportunity Knocks!

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If you said to a professional, "Why don't you go on Opportunity Knocks?" they would probably hit you.

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Which is exactly what Meg said to Les at that time.

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"You've got so far, you can get no further, you've got to move on

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"and the only way you're going to move on is if you do this show, Opportunity Knocks,

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"and I've filled the form in." And he was very upset about that.

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Welcome to Opportunity Knocks, your talent show,

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the programme in which you make the stars

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and in which every one of the artists appearing have the professional backing

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of Bob Sharples and the orchestra. Let's meet them.

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A lot of them didn't want their acts on television.

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You know? Cos then it was gone, people had seen it.

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And I remember seeing a wonderfully funny guy at the Wakefield Club

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when Python was shooting near Wakefield. He was absolutely wonderful.

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And he didn't want to go anywhere near television because then he'd blown his act.

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Remember, it is your vote that can indeed send them forward,

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not just to next week's show but to fame and fortune

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in the strange old business called show business.

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'Unfortunately, the recording of Les on Opportunity Knocks has not survived.

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'We know he was a hit with the audience, although he didn't win the postcard vote of the public.

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'But it was enough to kick-start his television career.'

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-And here he is tonight, Les Dawson.

-APPLAUSE

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I'd hesitate to use the phrase Beauty and the Beast,

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because he wasn't beastly by any stretch of the imagination.

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It was the glamour and the antidote to glamour.

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It was a good combination.

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# Just give up, it's not worthwhile, there's nothing you can do

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# The other day I forced a smile and cracked my lips in two

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# Just pretend you're bright and gay

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# I don't believe a word I say

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BOTH: # Then I'll feel much worse

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The huge advantage was that the stand-ups were cheap

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because they didn't require sets, they didn't require other actors or any acting

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and they brought their own script, so suddenly one saw a lot of guys from the clubs on television

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and then it seemed to grow and grow and grow.

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HE PLAYS PIANO BADLY

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The best combination I think there ever was with Les

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was with Shirley Bassey, who could be difficult.

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And he had a licence to undermine her, and she loved it.

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-I told you to stay in the truck.

-LAUGHTER

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Your fan club's just arrived.

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They parked the tandem.

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LAUGHTER

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That's what I love about your show, you're a laugh an hour, Shirley.

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LAUGHTER

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-That's one more than you, pal.

-LAUGHTER

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'Les Dawson would never sell another vacuum cleaner.

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'It was a time when variety was the spice of evening entertainment on television's three channels.

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'Les had a 25-year career ahead

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'and many more funny faces to share with us.

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'He thought himself a musician,

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'but he found many more ways to make us laugh.

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'The first face is deadpan.

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'He was a master of the short, pithy gag.'

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I remember the day I met Agnes so well,

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I was sat in my office, the curtains were drawn but the rest of the furniture was real.

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"Did you see who took my coat?" He said, "I saw him".

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"What did he look like?" "Ridiculous, the sleeves were too short."

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He pointed to a bottle on the shelf. He said, "Do me a sample in there" I said, "From down here?"

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-LAUGHTER

-He just had routines. One sticks in my mind.

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He was thirsty or something and he went and knocked on the door of a house and a woman comes out,

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I remember he said she had a face like a bag of chisels.

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And he said to her, "Do you think the woman next door would give me a glass of water?"

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It's very sophisticated. You know what I mean?

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-I bought some bananas once and when I peeled them, they were empty.

-LAUGHTER

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He's always outside the joke looking in, laughing at its construction,

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sneering at it as he tells it.

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He never does the one-liner and sells it and goes, "This is the best joke I've got."

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Good evening. Yes, our subject tonight is entertainment.

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A word formed from the Latin route "enter" which means come in

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and "tainment" which means give us your money.

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He's outside the joke. That's why people misread the mother-in-law thing.

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'And the mother-in-law was a big thing for Les Dawson.'

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As soon as I heard the knock on the front door, I knew damn well it was her

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because the mice were throwing themselves on the traps.

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I kept getting this hideous recurrent nightmare that I was an old sports car

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and the wife's mother had her foot on my throttle.

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I wouldn't say the mother-in-law's got a big mouth, but she can eat a banana sideways.

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Maybe 90 percent of them were very, very clever jokes.

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They weren't laughing at the mother-in-law.

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They were, again, word play and imagery. Things like the mice threw themselves on the traps.

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And my favourite Les Dawson joke was about him...

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He was at the pub and there were six blokes punching the mother-in-law.

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One of my neighbours said, "Are you going to help?" I said, "No, six of them should be enough."

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A politically incorrect joke now, but still very funny.

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I got one decent photograph of that woman.

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It must have been taken with a high-speed camera because it's the only one with her mouth shut.

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Do you think you spend rather too much time upsetting women with your mother-in-law jokes?

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No, no. I get on very well with my wife's mother. Fabulous.

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We always go to Ireland to see her. She lives in Birmingham but she looks better from Ireland.

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Do you get lots of mother-in-laws coming up to you saying,

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-"Hey, you're giving us a bad name"?

-Nonsense, no. They take it in good part.

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Every time my show comes on the box, everybody's sat in front of their sets in case someone switches it on.

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Normal functioning human beings can pick up when there's nastiness at the core.

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The reason Les Dawson is loved is because it was never malicious, there was no misogyny.

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Yes, it's uncomfortable for 80s feminists, it piggybacks on traditional misogynistic views,

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but again, his ironic way of laughing at his own material

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and his telling of it kind of undercuts it.

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He's fighting upwards, so it's actually an authority figure. The gender's irrelevant.

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It's like any comedy now. Any comedy is often a fight against an authority figure,

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whether you're mocking the police or mocking the government, anybody that's supposedly above you.

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And that's what it boiled down to. It was what had evolved as an authority figure within society,

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within that level of society, they were fair game and fair target.

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You don't have to be a nice guy to be a comedian

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and there are plenty who aren't, but with Les Dawson,

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you don't need to know biography, it's all there.

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You can tell he's a nice guy just by the way he stands on that stage.

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I just had some bad news.

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-Tomorrow it's the mother-in-law's funeral.

-LAUGHTER

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-And she's cancelled it.

-LAUGHTER

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You think it's a compliment, really. Because if you make fun of somebody

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in public, it's usually a tribute to them,

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and I remember when his mother-in-law did die, he stopped,

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and his first wife sadly died, he stopped doing wife jokes and mother-in-law jokes.

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The wife and I stood at the altar. The vicar looked at the size of the wife, he looked at me, he said,

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"Do you take this woman or will you have her delivered?"

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And he got all these letters from the BBC, all the mother-in-laws were writing,

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"Why don't you do the jokes anymore about us, Les? We like them."

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And I think, even now when I meet people, they go,

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"Oh, gosh, he was a master of the mother-in-law jokes."

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If that wasn't bad enough, after 15 years of complete bliss,

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the wife ran away with the fella next door.

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-Oh, and I do miss him.

-LAUGHTER

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'For all that people love Les Dawson's one-liners,

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'he personally loved the long, rambling monologues,

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'full of florid language.'

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Loquacious lugubriousness

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in extremis,

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the one and only Mr Les Dawson!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Firstly I must apologise about my appearance.

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Owing to a slight financial hiatus,

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I could not afford a ticket to travel here tonight by steam locomotion.

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-LAUGHTER

-I had to walk it.

-AUDIENCE: Aww!

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A journey, my friends, best described

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as a stroll on the very perimeter of Hades itself.

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LAUGHTER

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Fingers of cold mountain mist curled in treacher around my stout gaiters.

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-LAUGHTER

-As I toiled heavily across the bleak plateau of the mountain range,

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a sullen biting wind blew the snow flurries into a maddened fandango of white-flake fury.

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LAUGHTER

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APPLAUSE

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Les had a hard time in the clubs because he was doing a very subtle act

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and relying on the audience trusting him all the way to the punchline.

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And all the other pros said, "No, don't give up, you're the only one doing this."

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Because they knew that the moment he hit telly properly,

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the camera would just focus on that

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and the audience would be able to concentrate on the lines, the words,

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and it was TV then that made him.

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Crying sanctuary through cracked lips

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-I lurched forward and banged painfully on the door.

-LAUGHTER

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The door opened to reveal the most enchanting little girl that I've ever seen.

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If you look at his poetic jokes, it's a long poetic thing,

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very, very clever, obviously very intelligent man, weaving words,

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and then just undercut, completely undercut.

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There's his great joke about, "I looked up at the sky and it looked like black velvet

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"carelessly strewn with glitter and then I thought, "I must put a roof on this lavatory."

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So very funny and very well delivered, but it was almost like, "I'm sorry for being that clever."

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I reeled inwardly at the perfidy of parents who could abandon such a delightful waif,

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leave this child alone in such a small, cramped, gloomy house,

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in the teeth of a ferocious storm in this mist of desolation.

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THEY JEER

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I could contain myself no longer.

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Sinking to my knees, I grasped the child to my snow-powdered cape.

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LAUGHTER

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I said "Fear not, my child, elfin creature of pure delight!"

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LAUGHTER

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This permission to be outside your own material and to do a face that throws away the joke,

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that was quite cutting edge, really, to be that laidback and to not care about your punchline,

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but care about it, if you know what I mean. That, to me, is quite edgy stuff technique-wise.

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"Fear not, for you are no longer alone."

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And she grasped her rag dolly very close to her little pinafore and she said,

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-"It's not the house, it's the lavatory."

-LAUGHTER

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In television terms, he came right through the glass and people at home really...related to him

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because he was genuine, he looked genuine.

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And, of course, his brand of humour was completely unique.

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It was Les humour. He wasn't doing the jokes.

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Like, the comedians at that time would do jokes.

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Fantastic. But each comic could do another comic's jokes.

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Nobody could do Les. Les's routine was totally and utterly original.

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'Snappy one-liners, long, rambling monologues.

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'As a stand-up, Les Dawson was in constant demand as a guest.

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'But within a year of appearing on Opportunity Knocks, he had his own show on ITV,

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'Sez Les.

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'Les loved the glamour of a smart dinner jacket in the spotlight,

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'but television expected more in its variety shows.

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'It wanted sketches.

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'So our next face of Les Dawson is in costume,

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'playing dramatic scenes with actors.'

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You see Dave Allen and he's very happy sitting on his stool telling stories and jokes

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and that's what he does.

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And you see Les Dawson and he's at the piano or he's just doing his stand-up,

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and then because it's suddenly half an hour on BBC, 45 minutes, whatever, with a few songs,

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you have to pad it out with sketches

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and they will sometimes be of varying quality.

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He wasn't a brilliant comic actor. That's all right, neither was Peter Cook.

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'The sketches shone a harsh light on Les.

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'Guest stars like David Jason were a welcome distraction.'

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Thripson, what do you call this?

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LAUGHTER

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It appears to be one of our, er, tiger cubs, sir. Indian tiger cub, that one, sir, yes.

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I think we both agree that it's not its normal, frisky self this morning.

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Er, yes. Yes, sir.

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And we both know why that is, don't we, Thripson?

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Yes, sir.

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He's been stuffed. LAUGHTER

0:20:430:20:46

Exactly. Who stuffed it?

0:20:460:20:49

I did, sir.

0:20:520:20:54

Thripson, how long have you worked as a keeper at this zoo?

0:20:540:20:57

Oh, er, ooh, er...

0:20:570:21:00

Er... It's, er... Four and half weeks, sir.

0:21:000:21:03

LAUGHTER

0:21:030:21:05

And during that time, you've managed to stuff

0:21:050:21:07

19 lions, eight leopards,

0:21:070:21:10

45 Masai giraffes,

0:21:100:21:13

24 New World monkeys,

0:21:130:21:16

-a Polynesian hermit crab...

-LAUGHTER

0:21:160:21:20

-..and a hippopotamus.

-LAUGHTER

0:21:200:21:24

Why, Thripson?

0:21:240:21:26

I want to be a taxidermist, sir. LAUGHTER

0:21:260:21:30

In Les's autobiographies,

0:21:300:21:33

he acknowledges the varying quality of Sez Les and The Dawson Watch.

0:21:330:21:40

He says, "The press slated us, and looking back, they were probably right to".

0:21:400:21:45

But there are some moments of brilliance that are within them.

0:21:450:21:48

Good morning. I hope I haven't kept you waiting.

0:21:480:21:51

-I've only just arrived.

-Ah, good. Now, you're Mr Fippsby

0:21:510:21:54

and you've come about the job in accountancy.

0:21:540:21:57

That's right. Fippsby with two Ps. Yes, I have indeed.

0:21:570:22:00

I took to him and he took to me. I think we liked each other instinctively.

0:22:000:22:05

But I think we were also fascinated that we came from such different traditions.

0:22:050:22:09

That's the spirit! Oh, I see we're going to get on.

0:22:090:22:12

-Now, help yourself to a cup of coffee.

-There are three cups.

0:22:120:22:16

That's right. And one of them has got just the teensy-weensiest little pinch of cyanide in it.

0:22:160:22:21

-Go on, pick a cup.

-Which one's got the cyanide?

0:22:210:22:25

I don't know, do I? It'd spoil the fun! Come on, don't be a scaredy cat!

0:22:250:22:28

All right, then.

0:22:310:22:33

HE LAUGHS

0:22:340:22:37

Tell me, is there much cyanide in the coffee?

0:22:370:22:42

No, just a pinch. Mind you, it's enough to kill 150 elephants.

0:22:420:22:45

LAUGHTER

0:22:450:22:49

Let's not forget, it's a very, very odd pairing.

0:22:490:22:52

Thinking about it now, it's an odd pairing, but at the time, that was post-Monty Python for Cleese

0:22:520:22:57

and pre-Fawlty Towers. The only thing he did in between was Les Dawson's show.

0:22:570:23:01

And he was excited about it, Cleese was excited about it because he was like, "This is just ridiculous!

0:23:010:23:07

"We're so different! How can that not be interesting?" And the same for Dawson.

0:23:070:23:11

Dawson said, "We're physically different" which was the thing they played on a lot.

0:23:110:23:15

I was fascinated because he had a wonderful vocabulary, as you know.

0:23:150:23:19

He was extremely articulate with a very wide and rich vocabulary of slightly unusual words

0:23:190:23:25

and I think he was intrigued by me coming from a sort of Cambridge background

0:23:250:23:29

and being a bit logical and a bit analytical about stuff.

0:23:290:23:33

-Dawson.

-Sir!

-I want you to go through the boggy morass over there and take a message to HQ.

0:23:350:23:41

The boggy morass, sir? You're sending me to certain death!

0:23:410:23:44

-This is a very important message, Dawson! It's got to get through!

-Yes, sir! What's the message?

0:23:440:23:49

The message is, "Am on my own now. Have just lost Dawson in the boggy morass."

0:23:490:23:54

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:23:540:23:57

Stand-up is quite separate from sketches,

0:23:580:24:01

and it's quite possible for one person to be very good at one and not very good at the other.

0:24:010:24:06

But you can learn the other and in my case, I came from the Footlights where I did a couple of monologues,

0:24:060:24:13

but almost everything I did in the Footlights and subsequently was sketches,

0:24:130:24:17

two-handers and three-handers in which you played characters, not yourself.

0:24:170:24:22

Hello there. Have you got any dirty books?

0:24:230:24:28

LAUGHTER

0:24:330:24:35

Yeah, what do you want? LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:24:440:24:48

And it was very pleasurable. I remember the atmosphere being more relaxed than in London.

0:24:480:24:54

It's the waiting the drives you mad, you know that, Dawson?

0:24:540:24:57

Waiting, waiting. Always. Always waiting, nothing ever happens, drives you mad.

0:24:570:25:03

HE WEEPS

0:25:030:25:06

Do you hear me, Dawson?

0:25:070:25:10

HE WAILS

0:25:100:25:12

A whole life waiting! I can't stand it!

0:25:130:25:18

HE WAILS I can't stand it anymore!

0:25:180:25:21

HE WAILS

0:25:210:25:24

-Carry on, Dawson!

-Yes, sir.

0:25:250:25:28

-It's the waiting that gets you down! It gets hold of you!

-LAUGHTER

0:25:290:25:34

-HE SOBS

-And it drives you insane!

0:25:340:25:37

'Comedy situations and dialogue are a long way from the funny man in the spotlight on a club stage

0:25:420:25:47

'and it gave Les the chance to develop regular characters who would come back time and again,

0:25:470:25:52

'many of them inspired by his own comedy heroes from the 40s and 50s.'

0:25:520:25:57

Here, mate, you got a spare cigar?

0:25:580:26:00

-Yes, thank you!

-HE CHUCKLES

0:26:000:26:04

'Sez Les went for 11 series on ITV

0:26:050:26:08

'before Les accepted an offer to transfer to the BBC.

0:26:080:26:11

'He developed favourite characters who ran for years,

0:26:110:26:15

'transferring with him to The Les Dawson Show.

0:26:150:26:18

'Cosmo Smallpiece was, for modern tastes, controversial,

0:26:180:26:23

'a lecherous individual whose lustful excesses could be triggered by the slightest innuendo.'

0:26:230:26:29

-Oh.

-I'm asking the average man in the street what you know about coupling rods,

0:26:290:26:34

distributor shafts and big ends. LAUGHTER

0:26:340:26:38

-And cams.

-Ooh, cami knickers!

0:26:380:26:40

-And rear chassis.

-Rear chassis, bounce up and down!

-And bumpers.

-Ooh, jelly on a plate!

0:26:400:26:46

Come here! No, no, no, no, don't leave me!

0:26:460:26:48

He justified it to the end.

0:26:480:26:50

He said he had a rule that Cosmo, for all his leching and leering,

0:26:500:26:56

must never, ever touch a girl, that there must never be physical contact.

0:26:560:27:00

My studio guest this evening is the very lovely Miss Vanda Delmar,

0:27:000:27:05

the Swedish smouldering sex symbol,

0:27:050:27:08

the star of the recent hit movie A Prank In The Sauna Bath. Good evening.

0:27:080:27:12

-Hello, darling.

-Ooooh.

-LAUGHTER

0:27:120:27:16

The question that most...

0:27:160:27:19

..most viewers would like to ask you, and so would I,

0:27:190:27:23

is that all you? Eh? Is that all you? You're stacked! Want a bit of rumpo?

0:27:230:27:28

It's almost not even politically incorrect because it's just ridiculous.

0:27:280:27:33

It's just absolutely ridiculous. And that's why it's funny.

0:27:330:27:37

It's never funny because of the sexual connotation. That's not what's funny about it at all.

0:27:370:27:42

It's funny because he's such a ridiculous, ludicrous man.

0:27:420:27:46

LAUGHTER

0:27:460:27:48

'Les needed writers to create the volume of material demanded by weekly shows.

0:27:480:27:53

'As time went by, he centred on one or two

0:27:530:27:56

'and they tuned into his style of comedy.'

0:27:560:27:59

-It's a tricky business, this acupuncture.

-LAUGHTER

0:27:590:28:03

Television soaks up material.

0:28:030:28:06

In the past,

0:28:060:28:08

somebody could get an act together in the theatre

0:28:080:28:11

and they could do the same act every night for about two years.

0:28:110:28:15

Television... Every time you go on television, you want new material.

0:28:150:28:19

If you're putting six half-hour shows on, three hours comedy,

0:28:190:28:25

you need help writing and this is where your scriptwriter comes in.

0:28:250:28:28

I must get it right. Must get it right!

0:28:280:28:31

I think I did about two thirds of it and Les did the rest.

0:28:310:28:36

Though, er...

0:28:360:28:39

I had a lot more time to do it than Les did.

0:28:390:28:43

That was my job.

0:28:430:28:46

'His best-remembered characters are Cissy and Ada,

0:28:460:28:50

'which he performed in partnership with Roy Barraclough.

0:28:500:28:53

'They were perfectly drawn caricatures of a certain kind of northern woman.'

0:28:530:28:57

I used to love doing Cissy and Ada because I knew people like that.

0:28:570:29:01

I was virtually the same age as Les

0:29:010:29:05

and although he grew up in Collyhurst in Manchester

0:29:050:29:09

and I grew up in a small town on the Derbyshire/Cheshire border,

0:29:090:29:15

it was a mill town and there were the same characters

0:29:150:29:18

and it was easy for me to write them and I enjoyed doing it.

0:29:180:29:23

You can't take you anywhere!

0:29:230:29:25

-I nearly had a flush.

-I know.

-LAUGHTER

0:29:250:29:29

Oh, I say, Ada, the magic of travel.

0:29:290:29:32

Ada, look at all these lovely places.

0:29:340:29:37

New Guinea, New Jersey, New York,

0:29:370:29:40

New Zealand. Where do you want to go, chuck?

0:29:400:29:43

-New Brighton!

-LAUGHTER

0:29:430:29:46

We've gone there for 22 years to Elsie Gartside's.

0:29:460:29:49

She keeps a lovely table. She doesn't charge extra for the cruet.

0:29:490:29:53

We always use the terrine for the soup.

0:29:530:29:56

She's spotless, she changes the bed every day.

0:29:560:29:59

-She's had new oilcloth put down in the lobby.

-LAUGHTER

0:29:590:30:02

And on the landing, she's got it all done now in that beautiful Anaglypta in burnt sienna.

0:30:020:30:07

-LAUGHTER

-And in the dining room near those pot mallards

0:30:070:30:10

she got from that shop in Bogna, there's a beautiful muriel on the wall.

0:30:100:30:15

-LAUGHTER

-The death of Lysander in Dulux.

0:30:150:30:18

-LAUGHTER

-I really don't know why I waste my time with you, Ada, I really don't.

0:30:180:30:23

Of course, Roy had played dame for donkey's years,

0:30:230:30:26

so he's got that female thing,

0:30:260:30:28

but Les's hero was Norman Evans.

0:30:280:30:31

Who's thrown that through my window there?

0:30:310:30:33

Lee Scofield? I'll bat your earhole!

0:30:330:30:36

Of course, Norman was always a dame over the garden wall, his character was a dame.

0:30:360:30:41

So if you look at Cissy and Ada, you're actually looking at Les doing Norman Evans in a very strange way.

0:30:410:30:47

I haven't been well myself because...

0:30:470:30:49

Have you? Ooh. Do you mean, erm...

0:30:490:30:52

The mouthing, they call it.

0:30:550:30:57

It's the way women talked

0:30:570:31:01

years and years ago

0:31:010:31:03

and it stemmed from when they worked in the cotton mills

0:31:030:31:06

and they couldn't hear themselves talk above the noise, so they mouthed everything.

0:31:060:31:11

And this sort of spread into the general conversation

0:31:110:31:14

and they used it when they wanted to talk about taboo subjects

0:31:140:31:19

like, you know...

0:31:190:31:21

-Woman's trouble.

-LAUGHTER

0:31:240:31:27

Well, I went to see him in court and that's when I really...

0:31:270:31:31

-I mean, he's...

-At the time, he made that his own

0:31:310:31:35

to the point where Cissy and Ada is synonymous with Les Dawson now.

0:31:350:31:38

It's not Norman Evans. But it's certainly where the roots come,

0:31:380:31:41

and Roy and Les both acknowledge that openly.

0:31:410:31:44

Tell me something, chuck. When you went to Blackpool for your honeymoon, were you...

0:31:440:31:49

This is girl talk really.

0:31:490:31:51

-LAUGHTER

-Were you virgo intacto?

0:31:510:31:55

LAUGHTER

0:31:550:31:57

No, it was just bed and breakfast.

0:31:590:32:01

LAUGHTER

0:32:010:32:03

'We've seen how Les Dawson was a master of one-liners

0:32:050:32:09

'and of long, poetic stories.

0:32:090:32:11

'We've seen how he learned to write funny dialogue with other writers

0:32:110:32:14

'and create characters audiences love.

0:32:140:32:17

'But there was something about Les that was just...funny.

0:32:170:32:21

'He was a master of gurning faces and physical comedy.

0:32:210:32:25

'He could make an audience laugh without speaking at all.'

0:32:250:32:28

LAUGHTER

0:32:290:32:31

He's just got the iconic face.

0:32:310:32:34

He is the seaside postcard face before you realise the seaside postcards come first.

0:32:340:32:39

Some of us younger people did muddle him up with John Prescott for a while.

0:32:390:32:43

LAUGHTER

0:32:430:32:44

LAUGHTER

0:32:470:32:50

LAUGHTER

0:32:520:32:55

LAUGHTER

0:32:590:33:02

He was a great wordsmith,

0:33:020:33:04

but he also loved visual humour, physical humour.

0:33:040:33:08

The writers who worked with him most loved the fact that he was fearless

0:33:100:33:14

and would do anything they gave him.

0:33:140:33:18

DRUM ROLL

0:33:180:33:21

LAUGHTER

0:33:220:33:24

And there was no health and safety trouble with Les.

0:33:240:33:29

LAUGHTER

0:33:290:33:32

LAUGHTER

0:33:360:33:39

He was a surprisingly agile man.

0:33:390:33:42

He had been a fit lad, he'd been able to box and he'd been in the army,

0:33:420:33:46

so he was a person who'd just slightly overgrown his body as he got older.

0:33:460:33:51

He's not a bad looking bloke. He's got a bit of the Orson Wells about him.

0:33:510:33:54

-Use your head!

-I can't, he's got it!

-LAUGHTER

0:33:540:33:58

-Try the Billy Two Rivers method!

-Oh, right, yeah.

0:33:580:34:03

LAUGHTER Oh, very good! Dwarf Haystacks!

0:34:030:34:08

HE LAUGHS

0:34:080:34:11

I refuse to be known by that ridiculous nom de plume.

0:34:110:34:16

I wish to be known as Dastardly Dawson, the Diabolical Death Machine.

0:34:160:34:20

LAUGHTER Now that is lesson number two. Never turn your back on Masher!

0:34:210:34:26

-Oh, right.

-You're not going to stand for that, are you?

0:34:260:34:29

-Certainly not!

-APPLAUSE

0:34:290:34:31

LAUGHTER

0:34:310:34:35

LAUGHTER

0:34:360:34:37

'Les worked for years with Mo Moreland,

0:34:370:34:40

'known in the variety circuit as The Mighty Atom.'

0:34:400:34:44

It was just a name that came to my mother.

0:34:440:34:47

You know, she just said, "We'll call you The Mighty Atom, that's better".

0:34:470:34:51

That was even before the atomic bomb was thought of, I think. SHE LAUGHS

0:34:510:34:55

'Mo's rotund stature belied the fact that she was an excellent tap dancer,

0:34:580:35:03

'and that gave Les the idea for a visual gag that would run and run.'

0:35:030:35:08

Ladies and gentlemen, I am about now to light the fuse of this canon,

0:35:080:35:13

and she will soar through the air, like an eaglet.

0:35:130:35:16

DRUM ROLL

0:35:160:35:18

EXPLOSION / LAUGHTER

0:35:220:35:25

Les came in one day and said, "Mo, I've got this idea,

0:35:260:35:29

"I want five or six girls all like you." I said, "You'll be lucky!"

0:35:290:35:35

At first it was suggested that we would just be big ladies and we'd just stand around and look pretty

0:35:370:35:42

and be laughed at, and Les said, "No way."

0:35:420:35:44

To help me with this illusion...

0:35:440:35:47

LAUGHTER

0:35:490:35:51

LAUGHTER

0:35:540:35:56

-I only want one.

-LAUGHTER

0:35:570:36:01

I was about 14 and a half stone then.

0:36:010:36:04

If you can get tap dancers at 14 and a half stone to join me, by all means.

0:36:040:36:08

-'And he did.'

-No show is ever complete without les girls!

0:36:100:36:14

APPLAUSE

0:36:140:36:17

'The Roly Polys became a regular feature of The Les Dawson Show.'

0:36:210:36:25

LAUGHTER

0:36:270:36:29

# I walked away and said goodbye

0:36:410:36:44

# I was hasty, wasn't I?

0:36:440:36:47

# I missed you so, I thought I'd die

0:36:470:36:49

LAUGHTER

0:36:490:36:51

# I'll never say never again again

0:36:510:36:54

# Cos here I am in love again

0:36:540:36:57

# Head over heels in love again

0:36:570:36:59

# With the same sweet you

0:36:590:37:01

# We're head over heels in love again

0:37:070:37:10

# With the same

0:37:100:37:12

# Sweet

0:37:120:37:15

# You

0:37:150:37:18

# Boo-be-doo APPLAUSE

0:37:190:37:22

'But times were changing and the days of peak-time variety shows on television were numbered.

0:37:280:37:33

'A new wave of comedy had followed a new wave of music.

0:37:330:37:36

'And the older generation of variety comics were fading from the screens.'

0:37:360:37:41

Comedy in the 80s was polarised between the alternative comedians,

0:37:410:37:46

Alexei Sayle, Ben Elton, The Comic Strip and all that lot,

0:37:460:37:50

and mainstream guys who got stereotyped as these old farts with wigs who played golf with each other.

0:37:500:37:57

There was some collateral damage there. Jimmy Tarbuck might have been unfairly treated,

0:37:570:38:02

Bob Monkhouse probably was, Jim Davidson we won't weep over.

0:38:020:38:06

But Les Dawson is sort of apart from that, he was one of those mainstream comedians

0:38:060:38:11

like Billy Connolly and Victoria Wood and Tommy Cooper and Eric Morecambe,

0:38:110:38:16

you didn't care, it didn't matter that he was mainstream

0:38:160:38:20

because what they all have in common is they were brilliant.

0:38:200:38:24

Sugar Albert, after that eventful first round, how do you see the fight?

0:38:240:38:28

Just!

0:38:280:38:30

I wanted to make a tart. But they wouldn't let me make a tart.

0:38:300:38:33

I like tarts. I like big tarts! Big juicy tarts!

0:38:330:38:38

I'm friends with the son of one of these comedians from this generation.

0:38:380:38:42

And they change jokes, it's like, "Do you want my joke about the bear in the woods?"

0:38:420:38:47

"Oh, great, I'll have your one about the immigrant in the pub," and they'll swap them.

0:38:470:38:51

Whereas I can't swap the joke about my dad in Southend with anyone because it's personal to me.

0:38:510:38:56

So I suppose it's become more biographical, less pressure on a punchline,

0:38:560:39:01

you can leave a gap on purpose and laugh about the gap.

0:39:010:39:04

But there still is, for all us disappearing up our own orifices,

0:39:040:39:09

there's still a lead up, a gap, and then a laugh at the end, even if that laugh is at the absence

0:39:090:39:15

or the breaking down of the Thatcher government, it's still dum-dum-dum, laugh.

0:39:150:39:20

I know we like to pretend it's not because we're so superior to the one-liner comedians, apparently,

0:39:200:39:25

but I believe it's still dum-dum-dum, laugh. Without a laugh, you won't be doing comedy long.

0:39:250:39:30

Les described alternative comedy as being comedy that didn't get laughs. That was alternative.

0:39:300:39:37

And, of course, there became that period of time when there was quite a few politically-orientated comics

0:39:370:39:44

and people that did observational comedy,

0:39:440:39:47

and people that used the word comedian but refused to do a joke,

0:39:470:39:53

refused to do something that was obviously a joke and it would be an observational thing.

0:39:530:39:58

It was a whole new style that began.

0:39:580:40:00

It took a long time to get a grip. While it was getting a grip, of course,

0:40:000:40:04

all the great comics at that time were finding it very difficult to get on television.

0:40:040:40:09

And I can remember Les saying to me once, he said,

0:40:090:40:12

"Life in the clubs was so hard, those audiences were so tough, and could be so brutal,

0:40:120:40:19

"if I no longer was required to work in television, I would never go back to the clubs."

0:40:190:40:24

It was that hard.

0:40:240:40:26

There certainly is no business like show business.

0:40:260:40:30

'Like all traditional black-tie comedians, Les Dawson was facing tough career choices.'

0:40:310:40:37

Stand-ups have a shelf life and then you have your own show, if you're lucky,

0:40:370:40:41

and it's all super-duper, and then either you turn out to be good at doing game shows or not.

0:40:410:40:48

APPLAUSE

0:40:510:40:55

May I just say one thing?

0:40:570:40:59

When I first heard I was coming on this show,

0:40:590:41:02

a feeling came over me I've never experienced before. Sick!

0:41:020:41:05

LAUGHTER

0:41:050:41:07

'Les had good reason to be concerned about taking on a commitment like Blankety Blank.

0:41:070:41:12

'He knew game shows had finished the careers of other comedians.'

0:41:120:41:17

So Les was very aware that he could be inheriting a poison chalice

0:41:170:41:21

because the previous host had been so well-liked. So Charlie Williams, when he went into Golden Shot,

0:41:210:41:26

didn't do well at all, he was very much slated in the press,

0:41:260:41:29

the audience were switching off in their droves,

0:41:290:41:32

so Les felt Terry Wogan had been so successful and so synonymous with Blankety Blank,

0:41:320:41:37

that if he then took that over he wouldn't be accepted.

0:41:370:41:41

And with hindsight, what we see is that Charlie Williams just wasn't able to do it,

0:41:410:41:46

he wasn't up to the job. He was very good at doing his club set and doing his jokes,

0:41:460:41:51

but when it came to interacting with the public, he was out of his depth.

0:41:510:41:55

He couldn't improvise and think on his feet. So that's why it failed.

0:41:550:41:58

'It would be a professional risk.

0:41:580:42:01

'Meanwhile at home near Blackpool, Les's wife Meg was seriously ill.

0:42:010:42:06

'A BBC executive offered a solution that would keep Les by her bedside.'

0:42:060:42:10

I think it was Jim Moir said,

0:42:100:42:13

"Well, why don't you go and do Blankety Blank because you can do two shows in a weekend

0:42:130:42:20

"with no rehearsal, you just turn up, do it, then you go back to Lytham, and go back to Meg and the family."

0:42:200:42:27

-'And here's your host on Blankety Blank, Les Dawson!'

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:42:270:42:32

For any viewers, wherever they lay, who may be watching this debacle tonight,

0:42:440:42:48

please don't fiddle with your controls on your set,

0:42:480:42:52

-just because Terry Wogan isn't here doesn't mean your set's broke.

-LAUGHTER

0:42:520:42:57

So all I can say is I shall do my best, Terry,

0:42:570:43:00

to keep this show on the high level of asininity that you created.

0:43:000:43:05

-What can one say except...

-LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

0:43:050:43:09

It was just a really funny comedy show, it wasn't like watching a quiz show at all.

0:43:100:43:15

It was half an hour of Les Dawson absolutely in his element.

0:43:150:43:20

It was perfect for that kind of curmudgeonly, long-suffering clown

0:43:200:43:27

that he'd developed over the years.

0:43:270:43:30

Who've we got on tonight? Roy Walker, an Irish comedian

0:43:300:43:33

whose delivery is slower than a Boycott innings.

0:43:330:43:37

This lad loves a joke, and one day he's going to tell one.

0:43:370:43:40

Janet Brown. When Janet's on this show, she doesn't do a lot but what she does in inadequate.

0:43:400:43:46

On Blankety Blank, all the people in the panel, every one of them, no matter who they were,

0:43:460:43:52

actresses, whatever, they all loved him.

0:43:520:43:56

And that makes a big difference.

0:43:560:43:59

So Les could play with these people and be, not rude to them, but be off with them,

0:43:590:44:05

comedically, and they would just laugh because they loved him so much.

0:44:050:44:11

-I used to fight like Cooper. Gladys.

-LAUGHTER

0:44:110:44:15

I'll tell you, you've been an asset to this show. You could brighten it by leaving it.

0:44:150:44:19

-You do for that outfit what Nora Batty does for tights.

-LAUGHTER

0:44:190:44:24

-Ken Dodd, who proves there's life after teeth.

-LAUGHTER

0:44:240:44:28

He's undermining that show the whole time.

0:44:280:44:30

But not in such a way that you think, "Why are we watching, then?"

0:44:300:44:34

You have to watch because he has that very, very charming anti-charm

0:44:340:44:40

that you can't take your eyes off.

0:44:400:44:43

Geoff, you're not going home empty-handed because, by Jiminy, the BBC does not believe in that.

0:44:430:44:49

LAUGHTER

0:44:500:44:53

-You're taking with you...

-HE LAUGHS

0:44:530:44:56

-..our Blankety Blank cheque book and pen.

-APPLAUSE

0:44:560:45:00

-Come on, Rice, what have you got?

-Never used to be like this with Terry.

0:45:000:45:03

"Never used to be like this with Terry!"

0:45:030:45:06

'Blankety Blank was a huge success for Les.

0:45:090:45:12

'But behind the scenes, the Dawson family was in crisis.

0:45:120:45:16

'In April 1986, his wife and inspiration, Meg, passed away.'

0:45:160:45:23

When Meg went, he went to ground in a big way.

0:45:250:45:31

Because his, his...

0:45:310:45:34

..his support had gone.

0:45:350:45:37

His honest support had gone.

0:45:370:45:40

Er, and we were all very worried about Les because he did suffer very badly.

0:45:400:45:46

And then Tracy came along.

0:45:480:45:51

And it was obvious to anybody that knew Les that Tracy was absolutely fantastic,

0:45:520:45:57

she didn't try and top Meg, she became a new source of support.

0:45:570:46:02

He was very much a family man and wanted to be married

0:46:020:46:06

and he loved the family life and to be at home, the stability of home.

0:46:060:46:11

And I think Meg was obviously very important in Les's life

0:46:110:46:17

because she helped his career with Opportunity Knocks,

0:46:170:46:21

and she sort of kept his feet on the ground.

0:46:210:46:25

And obviously when Les met me, and we fell in love,

0:46:250:46:29

I just said, "Why didn't you marry an actress or a dancer?"

0:46:290:46:33

And he said, "Because I wanted to keep my feet on the ground."

0:46:330:46:37

I think because of similar backgrounds, really.

0:46:370:46:40

'Les lifted himself from the shadows and married Tracy.

0:46:400:46:43

'They had a daughter three years later.

0:46:430:46:47

'He was happier than he had been for years.'

0:46:470:46:50

I don't think there was a lot of difference between the Les Dawson on stage and the Les Dawson at home

0:46:500:46:55

because he sort of took everybody under his wing,

0:46:550:46:59

you know, if he did the theatres then he would meet up with the fans later.

0:46:590:47:05

He would say, "Come into the bar and have a drink with me. Why are you standing out in the cold?"

0:47:050:47:10

And he just treated everybody the same, which I thought was a lovely quality.

0:47:100:47:16

He'd say, "Come on, Pooh," because my nickname is Pooh, "Let's have a ride into Blackpool."

0:47:160:47:22

Or we'd have a ride into the country.

0:47:220:47:25

And he would pick ideas up, or we'd go and have a coffee somewhere,

0:47:250:47:30

or walk around in Blackpool and an idea would come.

0:47:300:47:34

And then he'd say, "Right, let's get back."

0:47:340:47:36

He always had a notebook and pen in his pocket and always wrote ideas down.

0:47:360:47:40

'Throughout his life, Les Dawson, lover of words and master of the variety stage,

0:47:470:47:52

'found many ways to make us laugh.

0:47:520:47:55

'But he will be best remembered for a trick he claims rescued him as a rookie in the working men's clubs.

0:47:550:48:00

'It was a guaranteed show-stopper, his signature routine.

0:48:000:48:04

'Everyone knew the punchline. But a Les Dawson appearance was incomplete without it.'

0:48:040:48:10

HE PLAYS PIANO

0:48:110:48:14

The audience demanded it in the end.

0:48:180:48:21

If Les didn't play the piano... I saw this happen on many, many occasions.

0:48:210:48:26

He'd be working front cloth and then the curtains would open and there would be the grand piano.

0:48:270:48:34

And the audience would just applaud at the piano because they knew what was coming.

0:48:340:48:38

You know, the audience demanded that.

0:48:380:48:40

You wind the clock back to when Les first started doing that

0:48:400:48:45

and it was really dealing with rude northern audiences who weren't going to sit and listen to his banter,

0:48:450:48:51

his patter, his jokes, all they wanted to do was have a few jars and sing.

0:48:510:48:56

So he thought, "Fine, you want to sing, you sing."

0:48:560:48:59

Now, come on, let's hear you now. Let's raise the roof.

0:48:590:49:02

It won't take much doing, the guttering is on the inside. Are you ready?

0:49:020:49:06

HE PLAYS OUT OF TUNE

0:49:060:49:10

LAUGHTER

0:49:100:49:12

He made everything look effortless.

0:49:120:49:15

He'd sat down and worked out, "Right, which are the right wrong notes?"

0:49:150:49:19

It's quite easy to play the piano badly and not be funny, as any music teacher will tell you,

0:49:190:49:24

but to play the piano badly and be always hilarious is...

0:49:240:49:30

Well, firstly, you need to know what you're doing, and secondly you need to be funny, and he was.

0:49:300:49:34

Just the timing, and the whole persona of how he's sitting on the stool looking at the audience,

0:49:340:49:39

with the, kind of, cheesy grin.

0:49:390:49:42

Anybody else trying to do that with a piano would turn it into a joke.

0:49:440:49:51

If you look at Les playing the piano, he believes every note he isn't playing.

0:49:510:49:55

He is completely, totally believable that he thinks he is doing it right.

0:49:550:50:01

LAUGHTER

0:50:030:50:04

He would play the piano every day at home, and play classical,

0:50:040:50:09

and jazz, and always went through the off-key piano playing at home, as well, which was nice.

0:50:090:50:16

He would start off quite serious on the piano before lunch,

0:50:160:50:19

and then he would play jazz

0:50:190:50:23

and then he would do the off-key piano playing so we'd know then he was at the end.

0:50:230:50:27

'Les knew how to get the most from a piano.

0:50:310:50:33

LAUGHTER

0:50:330:50:36

'But he never forgot that before he was famous,

0:50:360:50:38

'he thought his fortune lay as a singer first and a comedian second.'

0:50:380:50:43

I saw a clip of him singing Feelings.

0:50:430:50:46

And he starts to sing, going... # Feelings..

0:50:460:50:48

# Teardrops

0:50:480:50:50

# They're rolling down on my face

0:50:520:50:56

I was thinking, "Is this for real? Cos he's an OK singer."

0:50:560:50:58

# Time to forget

0:50:580:51:01

# My feelings of love

0:51:040:51:07

And then, of course, he goes, "Feelings!"

0:51:070:51:11

OFF-KEY: # Feeeeeelings

0:51:120:51:15

# Whoa, whoa, whoa, feeeeeelings

0:51:160:51:20

You know it's coming but it's all the more joyful because you know it's coming.

0:51:210:51:27

'Les had always enjoyed smoking and drinking.

0:51:280:51:31

'But a lifetime of premature celebration was taking its toll, and his health was failing.

0:51:310:51:36

'It was time to take things easy and indulge his passions in some unexpected ways.'

0:51:360:51:41

He was an amazing writer. I mean, we all know he was a fantastic performer, et cetera.

0:51:410:51:47

But my official word would be he was an amazing writer because that's how he wanted to be remembered.

0:51:470:51:52

I think he gave enough to warrant being remembered for what he wanted to be remembered for.

0:51:520:51:57

We have a wonderful collection of books in the library, and he would read them over and over again.

0:51:570:52:03

And the toilets, there are four toilets and they're all full of books.

0:52:030:52:07

And if he ever wanted some quiet time before the family were home,

0:52:070:52:11

he'd usually lock himself in his other study, as he called it, the loo and read books.

0:52:110:52:17

I could imagine him going out with a television camera,

0:52:170:52:21

going to some interesting castle or something like that and talking about it.

0:52:210:52:26

You know, doing something to do with history.

0:52:260:52:29

Anything that he was interested in, because he could bring his humour with him.

0:52:290:52:33

So I would have thought he could have done almost everything except probably straight acting.

0:52:330:52:39

'But he did. He played Nona, a woman in an adaptation of an Argentinean absurd drama.'

0:52:390:52:46

-How are you, Nonita?

-Hungry.

-Hungry?

0:52:470:52:51

-On a day like this?

-Always hungry.

0:52:510:52:54

That's my Nonita. There's always something for you to eat, isn't there? Some nice little morsel.

0:52:540:53:00

-Mm.

-Nice salad you have there, Nona?

0:53:000:53:03

Si. Peppers, sweetcorn, excellento!

0:53:030:53:07

-Wait a minute. Where have the flowers gone?

-You got vinegar?

0:53:070:53:12

They're in the salad!

0:53:140:53:16

-Everything in salad.

-You put Auntie's flowers in the salad, the flowers for the dead!

0:53:160:53:22

You've done it this time! You've gone too far this time! HE GASPS

0:53:240:53:29

'And Les appeared in Demob with Griff Rhys Jones and Martin Clunes.'

0:53:300:53:34

Thank you. That's very decent of you, er...

0:53:360:53:40

-Er, Deasey, Ian.

-Deasey Ian, yes.

0:53:400:53:43

-And what have we here?

-Oh, Mr Stanley, this is Heather Kennedy.

0:53:450:53:49

Charmed, my petite mama.

0:53:490:53:52

-Tell me, did you witness the debacle?

-They did their best.

0:53:520:53:55

Oh, yes. We all have to start somewhere. Never say die.

0:53:550:53:59

He was a stand-up comedian but he'd changed direction, really, doing the serious side of acting.

0:53:590:54:06

And he loved that. He said he would have worked for nothing. Cos he just loved that side of it.

0:54:060:54:11

No, no, stop! Stop the rehearsal!

0:54:110:54:14

Get off the stage. Go and rest your bunions, go on, get off.

0:54:140:54:19

-I bet he's got a wealth of stories.

-Yep. Let's hope he doesn't tell us any.

0:54:190:54:24

-Well, that was bloody awful.

-Well, do it again, then!

0:54:250:54:29

No. What did they expect for one and a kick? The bloody Bolshoi? Eh?

0:54:290:54:33

-Paul?

-There you are, Mr Stanley.

0:54:330:54:36

-Oh, Deasey and Dobson have arrived.

-Bailiffs?

-No.

0:54:360:54:40

-The ice breakers.

-Oh, two for the murder slot.

0:54:400:54:43

Where are you? Come on, where are you skulking, you cowards? Show yourselves!

0:54:430:54:47

And the winner is...

0:54:470:54:50

..Les Dawson. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:54:500:54:53

'In 1992, Les's career was finally recognised in the British Comedy Awards.'

0:54:540:55:00

-It's about bloody time I won something.

-LAUGHTER

0:55:030:55:06

Let's face it, I've been in this business so long I can remember when The Archers only had an allotment.

0:55:080:55:14

LAUGHTER

0:55:140:55:16

'But within a year, Les Dawson had passed away.'

0:55:180:55:22

The mother-in-law came last week to stay with us.

0:55:230:55:26

I knew it was her coming because next door's savage Alsatian...

0:55:260:55:30

..a high potency fertility pill...

0:55:300:55:33

Oh! Oh! Oh!... ..my Bert said they tasted of peppermint...

0:55:330:55:37

You see, you can sit there and smirk but you don't know. Life seems to be a matter of choice if you're lucky.

0:55:380:55:44

I'm not lucky. Dame Fortune has never once ever smiled at me.

0:55:440:55:48

AUDIENCE: Aww!

0:55:480:55:51

I was with Les when he died. He was at a hospital in Manchester

0:55:510:55:57

and he was having a routine check-up for insurance cos he was doing another film with Griff Rhys Jones.

0:55:570:56:03

And he had to have this check-up

0:56:030:56:07

and had a massive heart attack just after, waiting for the results.

0:56:070:56:11

I was amazed when I heard about Les's death. It was on the radio I heard it, and I went, "What?"

0:56:110:56:18

Erm...

0:56:180:56:21

And it was just one of these landmark things in the history of show business,

0:56:210:56:27

you know, where you go, "Wow!" Suddenly there's no Les.

0:56:270:56:30

There were so many other comedians, there were lots like Arthur Askey,

0:56:360:56:40

you know, and Norman Vaughan, and people you saw all the time,

0:56:400:56:44

but Les I thought was a division better than them

0:56:440:56:48

because he was more imaginative and his use of words was so much more interesting.

0:56:480:56:53

Comedy changes so much, but there are the comics, the very few, you could count on your hands,

0:56:540:57:01

the ones that can continue on through the years

0:57:010:57:05

and still be number one in their trade. And I think Les was one of them.

0:57:050:57:09

LAUGHTER

0:57:090:57:11

He was up there with the very top, Les was.

0:57:110:57:14

People still know his name.

0:57:150:57:17

And people still talk about him. I mean, that is wonderful.

0:57:170:57:20

Even people who weren't born when he died.

0:57:200:57:25

APPLAUSE

0:57:270:57:30

I'd put him up there with Tommy Cooper and Eric Morecambe

0:57:300:57:33

as a great mainstream British television comedian.

0:57:330:57:39

I think he was properly great.

0:57:390:57:43

LAUGHTER

0:57:430:57:45

There's still sort of a glow, really, that Les is still alive.

0:57:470:57:51

-They say laughter is infectious.

-Well, I think he's found a cure.

0:57:510:57:56

LAUGHTER

0:57:560:57:59

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0:58:020:58:06

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0:58:060:58:10

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