Episode 1 Welsh Millennium Babies

13 years ago, BBC cameras filmed 22 families in south east Wales

as they approached the magical moment of birth.

WOMAN GROANS

A breath and fill those lungs with air.

Down you go. Push. Come on. Push.

There were problematic pregnancies.

-Which day do you want to have your baby?

-Friday. I can go home all day Saturday then!

Dramatic deliveries.

Get it out!

Pant it out. Don't push now, sweetheart, you don't push.

And life-saving special care.

I don't know what you're going through.

I don't think any of the nursing staff have got a clue.

OK. We don't.

It was a new beginning for the parents to be.

You did excellent. Well done.

And for some, it was to change their lives forever.

BABY CRIES

Over a decade later, and what has happened to these children

who grew up in a new century?

What has become of the Welsh Millennium babies?

This time on Welsh Millennium Babies -

we catch up with two sets of twins born over 12 years ago.

-'What do you like about your sister, Sioned?'

-Nothing.

-Thank you(!)

-Where's she going? Going to bed, isn't she?

-Yeah. Lazy bugger.

Tilly! I can't believe that!

Back in 1998 at the Royal Gwent Hospital,

a very special ultrasound was taking place.

The scanning of twins.

Are the babies moving as well as before?

-Yeah.

-That's good.

-Everything seems to have been OK.

Aged 19, Kate and her partner Dafydd,

were about to become parents for the first time.

I wish she'd hurry up and have them.

She whinges, "I'm not sleeping through the night. I've been up for five hours."

-It's uncomfortable.

-The problem is she sleeps facing me

and I can feel those kicking me and it takes me ages to fall asleep then.

-Good.

-Get away.

That's nice. Get away.

I tried to convince her to sleep on the bed-settee but she's not having any of that.

Two months later and the waiting was over.

Kate went into labour and midwife, Cathy Witcombe, was by her side.

SHE STRAINS

Got a pain?

Breath in, push like mad. Down!

SHE STRAINS

Go on, push like mad. Go on, you can do it.

-Come on. Go on. Push like mad.

-Keep pushing, keep pushing.

-Yes, the baby's on its way.

-Here we go, here we go.

-Keep pushing. Here's your first baby.

-Here we go, baby's head. It's born.

And the baby's born.

Oh, look!

BABY CRIES

Ten to? Little girl. Look.

Look, look. She's fine, she's fine.

Hello, baby.

BABY CRIES

Isn't she lovely.

Baby number one was named Lowri

and 10 minutes later her twin was on the way.

-Relax, relax.

-Got pain? Go on, push down hard. Come on.

Good girl, come on. Here we go.

Another girl! Two girls.

BABY CRIES

Look!

Kate and Dafydd name their second daughter, Sioned.

Hello, sweetheart. Oh, you've got a bit of a headache.

More than a decade after the life changing event,

and the family are living in Newbridge.

The 12-year-old twins have been joined by younger brother, Iestyn.

Like I said, be nice. She'll hit you back, though. Stop!

Iestyn, don't jump over my sofa!

The first couple of months after having the twins was hard work.

It was like Kate had one child and I had the other.

You'd wake up in the night and Kate had Lowri and I had Sioned.

I remember looking at pictures of us now and you can see pictures of us

when they were newborn, considering we were both 19, we looked about 12.

Do you know what I mean?

I look at pictures of me now and wish I still looked 12!

I looked 18 then, 12 years later and I look more like 45!

-You've aged us, dramatically.

-Your mam, yeah.

Being young parents in a new millennium,

the early years were hard work.

It changed my life massively.

I actively went looking for a different job

and managed to get my apprenticeship with British Gas where I still am.

But it was just how we were going to cope?

We moved into the house next door to Kate's mam and dad

so we had a lot of support in looking after the children.

When we moved...

We were renting and then we moved up the street,

we were still close but it's a life changing experience.

I'd only just moved out of my childhood myself almost.

As the identical twins move into their teenage years,

Sioned and Lowri have very different interests and aspirations for their future.

I've always told my mam and dad

I want to go into the police.

That's why I've got a gun.

But, erm... That's what I want to do, but things may change.

I've always told my mam I want seven kids and I'd be a dinner lady!

-But that won't be true.

-'Why?'

I can't cope with kids.

-I wouldn't want to be a dinner lady.

-Don't get enough money, do you?

-No.

Because I'm into horse riding, if I get quite far, I'd like to be a riding instructor.

-'Sounds like a nice job.'

-Mm, yeah.

I'd like to have horses of my own and everything as well.

Because I play rugby, my dad wants me to play for Wales,

to keep on going and play for Wales.

12 years ago at the Royal Gwent Hospital,

twins, Tilly and Jess, were on the neonatal unit.

Born early, at 24 weeks,

they had been on the ward a while with their mum, Sharon,

under the care of consultant paediatrician, Dr Paul Buss.

I was feeding him the other day,

he had four episodes in a row where, you know, he held his breath, and...

It stopped for a while.

I winded him and his saturations shot to 100 and he was fine again.

His breathing looks remarkably stable.

He's not got increased work at breathing.

His respiratory rate looks good.

I must say from his chest point of view,

I'm pleased with what I see today.

We've done lots of tests to try to find out what these blue spells are.

The brain wave tests, the gastric tests we've done are reassuringly normal

but leave us with a boy who's still getting these blue episodes.

BABY CRIES

Twin sister, Tilly, had already been discharged

and after five months on special care, mum Sharon was desperate to get Jess home too.

I don't want to be frightened about Jess when he goes home.

I want to feel we've got it just about right

and we've got the management of the risk right.

So we're not putting too much risk and responsibility on you and Dad.

I think you wouldn't forgive me

if two o'clock in the morning you woke up and found him that colour.

You'd ask, "Why on earth did he let me take Jess home?"

No. I would never want to take Jess home if I felt he was at risk.

But I feel like I'm quite capable of looking after him.

He's much more settled when he's with me.

I don't know what you're going through, I haven't a clue.

I don't think any of the nursing staff have got a clue.

OK? We don't.

At the end of the day, part of our job is to try

and inform you as best as we can.

Look... You know that.

You know that.

OK?

OK.

Finally, after six months on the neonatal unit the big day arrived.

Sharon and her husband, Gavin,

were able to take their twins home together.

But their future health would remain unpredictable.

Today, the family live in Newbridge.

And Tilly is now 12 years old.

Watch you don't catch your face, look.

There we go.

The twins had seven years of growing up together.

Four-and-a-half years ago, Jess unexpectedly died in his sleep.

Look, Jess and Tilly laughing and playing.

Jess and Tilly playing. Yeah?

She's always asked for him every day in a sort of routine way.

She'll just ask for reassurance.

She'll say, "Jess" and then we say, "Yes, Jess." Then she says, "Jess in Heaven."

But now she's starting to get a bit more curious now she's older, I think.

Her understanding's starting to change, she's starting to wonder what happened.

We try and explain in our own way

but she still doesn't quite understand what happened, you know.

She understands Heaven and death.

You know that Jess is in Heaven, but you're not really sure why, are you?

Jess is in Heaven, isn't he?

Yeah? What happened?

He wasn't well, was he? He went to Heaven.

Jess in Heaven.

The twins were diagnosed with cerebral palsy after their second birthday.

Even though Jess had ongoing medical needs,

his early death came as a sudden shock to his parents.

Four-and-a-half years on,

it's still difficult for Sharon and Gavin to talk about.

We slept a bit late that morning.

We usually get up at 6.15am in order to get them ready,

and I think we woke up about 6.45pm.

Sharon went down to wake Jess...

Wake Jess up...

Sharon just gave a big massive scream. I knew something was wrong.

I had to leave Tilly in the bedroom. Run downstairs and he wasn't...

He wasn't breathing.

If you lose a child, a part of you dies with the child and you never get it back again.

You never do, no.

It's with me now from a day-to-day basis.

Sharon feels the same. We still think about Jess.

-There isn't a minute of the day when I don't think about him.

-No.

Tilly asks about him, Tilly talks about him every day as well.

-Obviously, she has missed her brother.

-Yeah, of course she has.

One, two... Right.

With her dad as her main carer, life has to go on in Tilly's household.

-Much better.

-Is that better?

-That's lovely.

Kate's kept busy as a full-time mum.

Her twin girls have different hobbies.

Lowri's latest interest is horse riding.

She's been interested in horses since she was little,

but she was one of those fickle little girls

who wanted to do gymnastics and she wanted to do horse riding,

and she wanted to do this, and she wanted to do that. Everything.

One, two, three. Up you go. There we are, well done.

Just pop your toe in and we'll see how far we are off with the stirrups.

I've been around horses quite a lot because my nan and bamp's friends

have got horses and my cousin's got a farm

and she's had horses all her life.

I've been around hers and that's how I got into it.

That's it, and again.

Use your legs. Ask him to walk on just that little bit quicker.

Life hasn't always been an easy ride for Lowri.

A little bit of nagging involved now.

At the age of two, she was diagnosed with a heart condition.

Lowri had to go into Bristol Children's Hospital

because she was born with a hole in her heart.

She had to have surgery to have that fixed.

When they put her under anaesthetic, you're thinking....

It was one of the worst moments of our life.

You took her down to the theatre and you sign that little letter

to say if she doesn't come back round...

Things like that make you closer as well.

I feel my and Kate's relationship was closer after going through

-things like that.

-Yeah.

-They were difficult times.

One on one it is.

With Lowri's heart problem solved, both twins now enjoy being active.

Ready! Steady! Go! Sideways, backwards, come on.

Second born Sioned's passion is playing rugby for Newbridge Mixed Youth Team.

The pastime has become a real family affair.

They've been playing since they were six, the twins.

It has been a big part. There's just so many friends you make.

It is a good social side to the rugby.

WHISTLE

Turnover. Unlucky.

We've banned rugby talk on a Sunday after the game's over

because Daddy had her crying into her Sunday dinner

because he abused her game of rugby that bad, that she'd be sat there

with the tears streaming down her face over dinner.

I'd be saying, "Shut up and leave her alone!"

She'd be like, "Can I leave the table, Mam?" "No."

Trinity Fields school in Ystrad Mynach

caters for Welsh students with specific educational needs.

Tilly has been a pupil here with her friend Edward for the last eight years.

Good girl. Oh! Good work.

That's it, good... Wow!

Stop.

Are you working for toys?

Oh, look.

-Look at... What is it?

-Edward.

Edward put..? Flour on the...?

-Flour.

-On your...? What's this?

-Keys.

-On your keys.

-Hey, get off!

Get off! That's it, tell him.

Get off, Ed!

Right.

Good work, Tills.

People just don't understand what you're going through.

There are loads of other children like Jess and Tilly

in a worse predicament and how they battle and...

And their family... It is a big, massive strain on your family.

It affects the parents, it affects the whole family.

'Does it affect your relationship at all?'

Yeah, obviously over the years.

We've had a few ups and downs, haven't we?

But we do try and stick it out.

Because really, we are... we are happy together.

-Well, I think we are!

-Believe it or not, we are.

But sometimes it would be much easier to walk away

because you're not just dealing with your own...

..well, your own stress and your own grief,

it's dealing with each others.

But I think we've learned to do that in a good way.

Because if I'm down Gavin remains strong,

and if he's down I try and remain strong.

We're trying. We've got to because...

-Yeah, if the two of us go down together then there's...

-No help.

It was six years after the birth of the twins that Kate and Dafydd

decided to experience another life changing event - marriage.

I wore an ivory wedding dress.

It was lovely.

-'Why did you decide to get married?'

-Erm...

We'd been together for nine years before we got married.

We had always planned to get married

but then the children came along and it was things like

Lowri and Sioned being in school and the teachers saying,

"Could you come in, Miss Pooke."

The children would say, "Why have you got a different name to us, Mam?

"Why's our name Martin-Lloyd like Daddy's and yours isn't?"

That's when we realised the children were bothered by it.

So, that was as good a time as any, really.

'Do you think one of your girls would wear your wedding dress?'

To be honest, if they wanted it...

I do sometimes think it is nice that even if they don't wear their mother's wedding dress,

but you can have panels of the material taken off

if you had your own wedding dress made.

I wouldn't be opposed to them doing that if they wanted to.

It would be quite nice really, wouldn't it?

But their father always tells them

they've got to have a joint wedding, "because I'm not paying twice!"

Scrooge!

But the twins, Lowri and Sioned,

may have other plans up their sleeves.

I ain't getting married.

-What about you, Lowri?

-Depends.

On what?

Men.

-On finding the right man, is it?

-Yeah.

-And Sioned, what about you?

-Mm...

I'll probably get married, but I ain't having kids.

Why's that?

Mm.

Cos... The pain you're in in the hospital and I can't be doing with that.

-But you play rugby. You get hurt playing rugby.

-That's different.

Hello, Tilly.

At Tilly's house, cousin Kyle calls by most days after school to spend time with her.

-How's your foot?

-Not bad.

-All right.

-Give us a kiss.

Tilly's quite demanding at home.

She likes us to be around her all the time.

That's why it's nice for Kyle to come around. It gives us a bit of a break.

-You were playing. On your DS.

-You were playing. What's this?

-Pokemon.

Pokemon, yeah. You like Pokemon, don't you.

She's trying to tell you what to do again.

It's her favourite thing to do.

-If I do something wrong she'll make sure I do it right.

-Sh!

-OK! Sorry!

THEY LAUGH

-Wow!

-I know. Good, isn't it.

Tilly's dad, Gavin, takes the role of main carer as mum Sharon

is busy trying to complete her university degree in learning disability nursing.

I decided once we lost Jess that, I think it was five months after,

I woke up one morning and I thought I really need to do something with my life to keep me busy.

And I enrolled in the local college to do an Access Course

which gave me the entry requirements I needed to go to university

and went from there.

It's hard work but sometimes I think,

"Why am I doing this to myself?" It is hard with Tilly.

But, yes, I'm really enjoying it.

Yeah? Do you want any more?

Yes, you're thirsty now, aren't you?

-There's Eddie.

-Hello!

-Where you going?

-Where's she going?

-Going to bed.

-Going to bed, isn't she.

-Lazy bugger!

-THEY LAUGH

-Tilly!

I can't believe...!

Nice one!

At the Martin-Lloyd's house, Sunday dinner is about to be served.

-Oh, love, you've burnt these, look.

-What?

-You've burnt these.

They're supposed to be burnt. They're called roast potatoes.

-They're not supposed to be burnt.

-They're called burnt potatoes, love.

And you burned the beef.

You're the one who said, "This meat isn't cooked. It needs to go back in."

Now you've burnt everything and you're blaming me.

Iestyn, don't jump about in front of the cooker please.

-One for the dogs, look.

-'Did you ever think about having a fourth child?'

-EVERYONE: No!

-We don't want any more babies, ever, ever.

As soon as I had Iestyn, that was it, I went and made sure.

-Dad, I don't want any on mine!

-Iestyn, fine, we'll take it off.

The doctor said, "You're only 25. Are you sure?"

I said, "You don't live with my son, doc. I'm positively sure."

-I was er...

-Don't give him much.

-I was happy with what I had.

-Yeah.

Me had to go and spoil it and have Iestyn.

Kate definitely wanted another one.

-What's she done to us?

-We wouldn't trade you for quids, would we, kids?

-No, no.

-No. Because nobody would pay us!

Sunday is an important family time together

as Dafydd works long hours as a gas fitter in the week.

Very often I come home from work and they've all had their tea.

Sunday time is about the only time we sit round the table together.

-That's disgusting.

-It's nice.

The minute I don't give you any you say, "Where's mine?"

Whoa! You wait at the top of the road.

Tilly currently uses an electric wheelchair

but her parents are keen to help with her future mobility and independence

with a custom made trike.

-Look at that.

-Fantastic.

-Whoa! Whoa!

TILLY SCREAMS

Use the brake. Whoa! Where's she going?

Look this way.

Tilly!

Supervising Tilly's test drive today is physiotherapist, Claire Lewis.

It's a really good leg strengthening activity as well as the coordination.

And again she's got that upright posture

because she's got the good support.

It's fantastic for communication.

She can enjoy the scenery because she knows she's well supported.

Really good for exercise tolerance and her fitness as well.

It gives her that opportunity to be out there doing what other children are doing.

Yes, it's fantastic.

She took to it like a duck to water. She was...

You can see with the expression on her face and everything.

She really liked it.

After all that hard work.

I hope she'll be able to do what she wants to do,

live where she wants to live and live independently.

I think it's important for her to have that choice,

not to have to stay with us.

Like other young people leave home and go and live on their own

and become independent.

I'd like her to carry on with her education.

She's adamant. She's asking for college already.

-Three of us and a cat.

-Eh?

-Three of us and a cat.

-Mad, aren't we.

We've been dealt a deck of cards and we've been dealt a hand and we have to deal with that hand.

And I think we have.

Whatever's been chucked at us we had to deal with it and...

We've come through it so far.

Yeah.

As the twins enter their teenage years,

it's Sioned who's on target for a future career and she's aiming high.

The crosshairs on the target.

Cor, well done! Excellent shot. Tremendous.

She'd like to think she'll be able to get into the police forces.

She said when she's older she'd like to be an armed policewoman.

That's why she thought it might give her an advantage

if she learned how to shoot first.

We thought we'd get her one for Christmas.

It rains most of the time so she hasn't been out with it much.

OK? And then pop it.

ALL: Wahey!

For all the trying things you go through with them,

you definitely wouldn't want to be without them.

Then you've got times when people knock on our door,

"Excuse me mister, are these your children?"

They've just smashed my window or...

We've had the twins playing football in the street and replacing front windows.

Cos of footballs.

The last 12 years, the first couple with the twins and Iestyn, have been trying.

There's lots of times where you think...(HE SIGHS)

You could almost do without this sometimes.

But then, when you sit down and you're watching them

sleeping on the settee, I'd never be without them.

-Wouldn't change them for quids.

-Love them to bits.

Next time on Welsh Millennium Babies -

BABY CRIES

How did life unfold for baby Phoebe, born by Caesarean section?

And Debbie's daughter, Lissy, has almost become a teenager.

-'So, you are proud of your mum?'

-Yeah, but she's embarrassing.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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