Episode 3 Welsh Millennium Babies

13 years ago, BBC cameras filmed 22 families in south-east Wales

as they approached the magical moment of birth.

Breath, you can fill those lungs with air.

Down you go!

There were problematic pregnancies...

Which day do you want to have your baby?

Have her on Friday, I can go all day Saturday on this.

..dramatic deliveries...

Get it out!

No, you pant it out. You don't push now, sweetheart. You don't push.

..and life-saving special care.

I don't know what you're going through.

And I don't think any of the nursing staff have got a clue.

OK? We don't.

It was a new beginning for the parents to be.

You did excellent. Well done.

And, for some, it was to change their lives forever.

Over a decade later and what has happened

to these children who grew up in a new century?

What has become of the Welsh Millennium Babies?

This time on Welsh Millennium Babies,

we catch up with two boys approaching their teenage years.

I've got quite a few things I might like to be when I'm older.

Such as a pilot, jet or commercial,

a doctor - a surgeon or just a doctor,

or working for the film or TV industry.

It's the dream to have a son to equal the family balance out.

I was Dad's dream.

Just keep it at that now, I was your dream.

It was in rural Tintern over 11 years ago

that 29-year-old Tilly was pregnant with her second child.

ULTRASOUND CRACKLES

Ooh! What's that, Ellie?

Is that Mummy's baby. It's kicking, too.

Looking after Tilly's antenatal care was community midwife Rachel Fielding.

Any worries or problems? Anything you want to ask?

I got really hormonal over the weekend.

-I was going to ask if that was normal at this stage.

-In what way?

I felt like every time someone said something

that it was directed really against me and I took it really personally.

Then I had to ring round all my family, apologising for being horrible to them.

You know when you feel like you're going to burst into tears for no reason at all?

I just think you do get a bit sensitive.

Obviously the hormones do have that effect on you.

Tilly and her husband of two years, Jamie,

embraced the whole experience of childbirth and parenting.

And this little piggy went wee, wee, wee, all the way home.

As much as it puts you through the mill a bit,

I still wouldn't miss it for the world.

You've still got to be there, you have.

You know, I'd recommend it to anybody, that they're right there

at the moment, cut the cord and everything.

Cos, if you don't, and you subsequently change your mind,

there's no going back, is there? So you might as well do it the first time.

I've had a bit of a reputation for being broody ever since school.

I think most of my friends thought that I'd be a mum way before I was.

But I knew I wanted to do heaps in the way of travelling, you know?

All the things you want to get out of your system before I wanted to be a mum.

So, I knew I'd do it one day, but everything had to be in place first.

Six weeks later at the Royal Gwent Hospital...

Hard work.

Tilly was about to give birth.

Can you pass me the water, please?

Oh, that's lovely.

Improvised fan.

The baby's head's there, you can feel it if you want.

There. I'm just going to feel inside, around the baby's neck.

Are you going to let me loop this over, baby?

Baby's got the cord round the neck, Tilly.

Which is a little bit short.

Down you come, keep pushing.

Come back. Come back, Tilly.

Look at this baby.

That's it.

-It is a lazy boy.

-The proud parents named their baby boy Tom.

It's a bit of an entrance, there.

It's been 11 years since Tom's birth.

And they are now a family of six, with Ellie and Tom being joined by

younger brother William and sister Liberty.

-Love you. See you later. Bye now.

-Bye.

Tilly and her family now live in rural Monmouthshire and,

like most children in Tom's situation,

getting to school can take some time.

It's Saturday and we have to do Saturday school here.

Which, even though I've been here for a while now,

I'm still not used to it.

Cos all my brothers and sisters,

they don't have to get up on Saturdays.

So it's quite frustrating.

Luckily, it's only a half day on Saturday.

Recently in maths we've been studying pi, the Greek symbol

and...um...we've...

At home, because I got so motivated in lessons,

I decided to learn pi to as many digits as I can.

So I now know it to 32 places.

Shall I list them?

3.1415926535897932384626433832795.

Rounded.

Having four children to care for is a full time job.

I have to cook, I have to feed you all.

Hey! My little Welsh dragon.

And Tilly has dedicated the last 13 years to motherhood.

I don't think I could have had such a big family if my first child hadn't been...

Wonderful!

No, she's just

always been brilliantly helpful, right from when Tom was born.

And you know when you have a small baby

and you've just been through that long, dark tunnel

of months and months with no sleep?

It's just intense. But because she was always around and helpful,

we're quite a good team.

And it's keeping going.

She's 13 next week.

So, I'm hoping... Obviously she's off doing her own thing a lot more,

but we're still quite a good team, aren't we? Most of the time.

Relatively. Yes, I think so.

Over a decade ago in Newbridge,

Roxanne was pregnant with her third child.

# I met a little Irish girl... #

Roxanne's first child Sammie had been born with Down's syndrome.

I was only 24. It's something I didn't think about.

It didn't register in my mind that I could have a child with Down's.

You always think it happens to older mums.

But every mum that I now who's had a child with Down's,

the oldest one I know has been 31.

You know, that I know of.

All the others I know, we were all sort of early 20s, or even younger.

Roxanne was offered an early Down's test

to see if her unborn child was affected with the genetic condition.

There's a nice little heartbeat, just in there.

See me wipe it there? Just moving?

Well away from the baby. Not even inside the pregnancy sack.

-Good.

-OK?

Are we OK over here, then?

It was an emotional surprise back in 1999 for sisters Sammie and Chelsea

when their parents broke the news.

Listen to me, Sam. Listen.

Your mummy's been to the hospital for tests this week. Right?

It's because Mummy's having a baby.

Right? And you're going to have a little baby brother

or a little baby sister in February next year.

Can I have a baby brother?

-You want a baby brother?

-We've been talking about that.

Yeah, you see? It's happening now. It's in my belly.

They were testing my belly.

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

-Yeah.

-There we are, then.

See? So, that's why we've had all these secrets.

Because we didn't want to tell you until we knew everything was OK.

But the man phoned today to say everything's OK.

Oh, don't get all upset.

Come on. You know why, don't you?

We had to check that the baby didn't have Down's syndrome, like Sammie's got.

That's all. And it hasn't. OK?

Are you all right?

Come on.

Don't get all upset.

Hey.

Be happy, cos everything's OK.

All right?

Six months later, Roxanne went into labour at the Royal Gwent Hospital.

Community Midwife Cathy Witcombe was on duty to deliver the baby.

Come on, my love. Come on, you can do it.

Go for it. And again, down hard.

Go on, my lovely.

Oh, it's coming beautifully now.

There we go. Come on my little guy.

Those are big shoulders.

Rox, you've got a little boy!

Look. Look!

Look at his willy!

Look at him,

And Sammie got her wish, a baby brother.

Joseph was the new addition to Michael and Roxanne's family.

A decade later and the family are living in Abercarn.

And Joseph not only has a loving mum and dad, but two doting elder sisters.

11-year-old Joseph is the musical talent in the family

and the trumpet is his passion.

I haven't heard him.

-You haven't heard him before?

-No. Not until today.

He's quite good.

He's good.

He don't get it from me.

Well done, Joe.

Performing is really fun.

Scary to start with, but when you actually do it,

it's very enjoyable. Yeah, I'm looking forward to doing that.

As Joseph grew up, his older sisters Sammie and Chelsea were a guiding influence on his young life.

But that has changed recently, as Chelsea has become a university student.

Is it nice having your sister home from college?

Yeah, it's really nice

because we don't usually see her that much.

I know she doesn't come home for that long,

but it is nice when she's home.

I enjoy uni a lot.

But it's hard being away from home because it is quite a distance.

I only speak to my mum and dad

now and again. So it's hard. I don't speak to them very often.

Do you wish you could see your sister more?

-Yeah.

-She's come up to uni with me, haven't you?

-She had a night out in Aberystwyth with me.

-Yeah.

What did you do?

-She got a little bit drunk, didn't you, Sam?

-A little bit drunk, yeah.

Because they're both older than me,

if I get worried about something that they've done before,

then they can tell me if it's...

if it's like...

If I'm scared, they can tell me it's OK once you've actually done it, it's not too bad.

The Saturday morning mathematics lesson is one of Tom's highlights of the week.

We're going to play a number game to begin with.

Amy, using these numbers, can you make these into a question that will give you an answer of one of these?

10 x 2 = 20

Perfect.

Tom?

-Are we allowed to use brackets?

-Yes.

OK. 7 squared, minus (10+4) = 35.

Excellent.

I'd hopefully like to use mathematics in my profession.

I've got quite a few things I might like to be when I'm older.

Such as a pilot, jet or commercial,

a doctor - a surgeon or just a doctor,

or working for the film or TV industry.

Do you think if you keep digging, you'll end up in Australia?

That's what my grandmother used to tell me when we were on the beach.

Mummy, I'd die.

-Why? Because you'd hit the centre of the Earth first?

-Yeah.

Tilly's last two children William and Liberty were born at home.

And Jamie has been by her side for all the deliveries.

There was another bike around here a minute ago.

As a father, he's taken on the role of breadwinner, working as a freelance IT consultant.

I work away in the week, so I'm up at...

I don't know, I get up about five. I leave the house shortly after that.

I don't get back until 7 or 8 o'clock at night.

So there's just no time to do anything, really.

Come the weekend, I've got a list as long as my arm of things I want to do.

And you always end up disappointed, you never get enough done, you know?

I've always had a list of things that I want to try and achieve.

Hey, Tom, how was school?

I'm so grateful that Jamie is able to bring in enough

for us to manage without that pressure on me to have to go back to work,

cos I just feel that I'm split four ways anyway between my lot and,

to have a job fitting in as well,

I just wouldn't, I wouldn't be as patient, I wouldn't be...

It would have impact on all of us, to be honest.

Because, I don't know, I think how I feel would change a lot,

without having you to talk to and I'd probably do the cooking if you had a job

and everybody knows I'm not the best cook in the world.

So that would be a disaster.

Tilly basically is a mega-double full-time mum.

I don't do very much of the hands-on parenting as such,

but I would if I could. And if the roles were reversed

I'd be more than happy to stay at home and look after the kids.

Probably, I say that now.

I'd love to do it. But it's just the way things have fallen, you know?

Can you go and hang up your uniform?

That uniform, and get into your Scout uniform.

Also, Tom, can you tell me what patrol you're in,

cos I need to sew your badge on quickly.

-That's your school jotter?

-What?

-For school?

-Yeah, for what we're doing after half term, so...

Oh, that's nice.

-Welsh dragon.

-Yeah.

Very good artist...

very...very good artist, by the way.

-Thank you.

-Is he?

-Yeah.

D'you like doing homework?

Well, to be honest, it depends what homework it is.

Before he was born Joseph was tested for the Down's chromosome

and although the result was clear, it was still a worrying time.

I was upset about the whole Down syndrome issue

and you being, like, not Down Syndrome, I suppose.

But I don't think I would have even understood it at that point anyway.

I don't know, cos you'd met a few families with youngsters

with Down's syndrome by then.

But it didn't really matter in our lives

because Sammie wasn't any different, she wasn't treated or thought of

as any different to any other child, even through the wider family.

Even though I knew I'd had testing done, you've still got that anxiety,

until the baby's in your arms, you don't know.

This is there, apart from Down's syndrome,

I knew that he didn't have Down's syndrome

but there were so many other things that could have gone wrong,

between then and the actual delivery, and even during the delivery.

With having two girls already,

it's the dream to have a son, and equal the family balance out.

I was Dad's little, yes... Just keep it at that!

I was your dream.

He may be the apple of his father's eye, but Joseph is the spitting image of his mother.

That's me when I was his age. The first time we got that out I said,

"Who do you think that is, Joe?"

He said, "That's me! When did I have that photo done?"

I don't think it is. Pink glasses.

-The pink suited you!

-Stop flapping it about.

-Find anything?

-No.

It's at least two feet deep.

After Tom was born, Tilly got involved in supporting other mothers-to-be in her community.

It was a role she relished for over a decade.

That's the cake Mum got when she left being the chairperson

of Monmouth National Childbirth Trust.

She got this amazing cake.

And there was a big picnic afterwards too, so there's Mum with the cake.

How much do you love your mum and dad?

We don't love them!

-No, we don't, do we, really?

-No! And I don't love you.

-I don't believe that.

-Nah, it's not true, is it?

We both love them.

-No...

-Yes, we do!

Sounds like something to do with an iPhone.

How would you define your job, your role, then?

I was thinking about it the other day and I actually do about six jobs in my role.

Um... As well as being a full-time mother,

I'm also chauffeur, gardener, cook, cleaner...

I do all the ironing. When I get round to it.

I do all the DIY and decorating, because Jamie hates painting.

The fact that being a mother isn't held in high regard because,

with the illusion that women can have it all these days,

there is the expectation that you go out

and you have your kids and you have your glamorous career.

And I'm sure that might work for some people but it wouldn't work for me,

and also, I realised very early on, from becoming a mother,

I really didn't want someone else bringing up my children.

So, despite the fact that I've worked in marketing and PR,

and I've done bits of journalism and I've got my degree,

I'd actually preferred not to be using it at the moment and just look after my kids.

My house, my animals, my vegetables, my husband, occasionally, when he's at home.

It's a busy morning in Abercarn.

Time for Roxanne to do the school run.

Her husband Michael works in the construction industry and works long hours.

At the moment on this job, right, he's home every night.

But not till about quarter to eight, half seven.

Um, depending on the traffic.

Which is unusual, because normally he's not, normally he goes away Monday and he's home Friday.

Roxanne is a working mum and she always knows what Joseph is up to.

Her job is in his school office.

Joseph doesn't always like it because he feels like he's being watched

by me as well as the teachers, which isn't really fair.

But the advantages are, you always know what's going on in the school.

I always know if there's any clubs delayed

or postponed or whatever, I always know.

If there's a trip, obviously because I arrange most of the trips, and buses and things.

For me, you can sometimes know too much about what's going on in your child's own school.

Do you ever see your mother in school?

Yeah, a lot of the time because when I'm going out for a break,

if I want fruit, which we usually do,

they sell it right by her office, so I see her then, I say hello and then I go out to play.

And then... I see her quite a lot

because she walks around a lot, so, yeah.

But things are about to change.

Joseph is in his last year at junior school and he is going to miss his outdoor activities.

There we are, boys. Little bit deeper, I think.

-That's sort of better than maths, isn't it?

-Yeah.

It's a lot more active than other lessons that we do inside school.

Which I enjoy, like outdoor things, like PE and outdoor learning and that, yeah.

Jim, d'you think that's big enough now?

Do you think you'll be a gardener when you're older, Joe, or have you got other plans?

I don't know what I'm going to be when I'm older.

I think I can decide that later in life. So...

Being a Formula One driver would be good.

Like, when I watch that on TV with my dad, that's good.

I enjoy watching that, and it would be good to...

Jim, I wouldn't go any deeper than that.

Hang on, wait there.

-Do you want that?

-Oh, that's a good idea, would you mind?

After 14 years of marriage and bringing up their four children,

Jamie and Tilly value the family life they have created.

It's been the most incredible blessing, it really has.

And I think, in many ways,

it's been the making of me, you know.

I needed to have that responsibility before I was able, really,

to kind of knuckle down and get on and take life seriously.

And, as tragic as this sounds, I'm so grateful for Till, for...

making the love that I have for the four kids possible.

-Aww!

-It's true.

We don't have these conversations very much because we're usually so busy, aren't we?

We don't even often sit down together. It's quite a luxury.

Actually, we complement each other really well because things

that maybe I would find mildly tedious, or,

frankly, couldn't do, like advanced mathematical questions from Tom...

I can't, he's going to outgrow me very soon.

I'm advanced to 14 years old.

That's all I can do.

If there's any risk of me spiking you, Tom, I will stop and make you take it off.

Like many of the Welsh Millennium Babies, Joseph's thoughts

are turning to his move to the comprehensive school in September.

Are you looking forward to going to big school?

Yeah, I think we all are, but the only thing is,

we're now the big fish in a little pond,

we're going to be little fish in the big pond

but, I'm more excited than worried.

I don't know about these lot, but I'm more excited than worried.

I'm quite nervous I'm going to get lost in school. It's just massive.

I'm going to stick together with, like, all these lot.

We act all big and then, when the day comes, you'll be like, ooh!

I think we're all a bit worried, but I think we're more excited than worried.

Miss, can I have your attendance register, please?

And Mum Roxanne knows this will be a big milestone in Joseph's future.

I just hope he enjoys his time in comprehensive and,

hopefully when he gets to year nine,

that he makes the right choices to climb on

all through the rest of his life.

And hopefully, as he gets older, well, just that Joseph

becomes successful in some sort of way, in whatever he chooses to do

and has a healthy and happy life through adulthood.

Tilly and her children are in Monmouth.

Today a Scout presentation is taking place at the Shire Hall.

Hello, my name is Tom Ashton and I'm a member of the...

And Tom is to deliver a speech on charity fundraising to the guests of honour.

Hello, I'm Tom Ashton, and I'm going to be talking about

when we raised money, and how we raised money, for the charity ShelterBox.

We raised money by doing a sponsored silence, a sponsored bounce

and a few other things, but they escape ME for the current moment.

Please help them, thank you.

Thank you so much for your help, wonderful. Thank you.

Job done.

And another memory for Mum to capture for the family album.

How did you find that speech?

Um, hard, cos I'd only started it, five minutes...

-You made it up?

-I made it up on the spot.

Didn't Tom do well with his speech?

Not bad for throwing it together in a couple of minutes. After school.

So, I was thrilled for him, because he finds it quite hard to think on his feet,

and in a big room, quite a formal room,

but he did really well, so, yes, I'm proud.

My lad, so we're proud.

So teensy, isn't it, but I am, I'm proud every day, mind you.

Next time on Welsh Millennium Babies.

How did life unfold for Ellie after she left special care?

It's nice to see them go home, especially, like, Ellie.

And 12 years on, Cameron is in a reflective mood.

If it weren't for my mum and dad I wouldn't have a place to live,

a room to live in, bed to sleep in or anything.

I wouldn't have any food, so I'd die.

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