South UK's Best Part-Time Band

This programme contains some strong language

It's the UK's Best Part-Time Band! Hello!

I'm Rhod Gilbert, stand-up comedian, and I've had a radio show

for ten years and people send me music all the time and some of it is absolutely fantastic.

It's got me wondering just how much undiscovered talent there is out there.

There are thousands of unsigned bands in the UK,

from butchers and bakers to selfie-stick makers.

Men and women rocking, rolling, funking and folking in pubs

and clubs up and down the country to escape the nine to five grind.

What possesses somebody of my age to continue being in a band?

It's definitely not for the money or the glory.

MUSIC: You Really Got Me by The Kinks

The BBC have put me up in this ropey old van and I'm off on tour.

I've hauled in three musical heavyweights to help.

Silky smooth Soul II Soul legend Jazzie B...

-Buongiorno!

-Jazzie!

-How you doing, fella?

..beardy Manchester music icon, Peter Hook...

-There was some real weirdos in that station.

-Was there?

Yeah, I felt perfectly at home.

..and "Grandmaster Tash" himself, Ultravox frontman, Midge Ure.

-Oh, dear!

-THEY LAUGH

But this is no run-of-the-mill talent show.

There is no prize, no Christmas number ones, no recording contract.

There is shit-all.

Like massive musical fishing nets, we'll be trawling the UK to find

the working men and women who play music for the sheer bloody love of it.

I can channel any of my problems and release it through my music.

Each legend will pick their top two bands...

I just felt like an idiot.

A stupid, inane grin on my face.

..who will battle it out in a grand final in Manchester...

Unfortunately, you've got to decide which are your favourites now.

..where one will be crowned the UK's best part-time band.

This time, my dicky old tour bus is taking me on an epic

600-mile road rave around the south of England.

Riding shotgun is a human trophy cabinet,

triple-platinum, double-Grammy-award-winning titan of music, Jazzie B.

# Back to life, back to reality. #

Jazzie is the man behind R&B giants Soul II Soul.

And I remember dancing just as badly as him

to this very track as a young hipster down at Moonraker's in Wales.

# How ever do you want me... #

-Buongiorno!

-Jazzie!

-How're you doing, fella?

-I'm all right. How are you?

-Scraping through, as you do.

Nice to meet you.

-CHUCKLING:

-So you've got your GPS on?

-Oh, hang on...

-You can go up that way.

-Can I go up that way?

-1,200 bands, Jazzie, have applied for this.

-Whoa.

We're going to cram in as many as we can this week, and at the end of it,

you, sir, have got to choose your five favourites.

What are your thoughts?

At the moment, a little bit apprehensive about what level they're at.

What are you going to be looking for?

Music that sounds a little bit different, you know?

What's their unique selling point? That'll be the turn-on for me.

I'm hoping we'll soon have Jazzie frothing with excitement

as we hit the open road

heading west out of London to see our first act in Redhill, Somerset.

We are going to see a country band.

I come from a reggae background, but I was brought up with,

you know, listening to country and western that my parents enjoyed.

-Were you?

-Yeah. I also enjoy folk music.

-The thread throughout it all is the storytelling part of it.

-OK.

West Country country and western six-piece The Redhillbillies

have been playing together for nearly ten years.

They're fronted by husband-and-wife duo, Tom and Jo Vowells.

By day, Jo saddles up her five-door hatchback and goes out district nursing.

It's all down to my parents.

They have spoon-fed me country music since I was born.

I just fell in love with it. It gives you a real sense of being part of a community,

being part of the countryside.

Jo and hedge-repairer Tom formed the band shortly

after getting together.

Spoiler alert! Tom hacks his own leg off here.

Very interesting, being in a band with your wife.

It's usually ended in disaster, hasn't it?

Well, it hasn't happened with me and Jo yet.

It's hard to play music with someone and not get on with them.

So it diffuses situations a lot of the time.

# So take me down that road. #

The band rehearses every Thursday

and with a ready-made audience of 42 children and grandchildren between them,

it's really hard to watch TV in their lounge.

Trying to go to sleep,

and my dad comes back from the pub playing the banjo, singing.

"Dad! I got school in the morning!"

"Listen to me though, listen to me!"

I don't approve of the drugs.

Sleeping pills, pills for arthritis

All sorts going on!

These drugstore cowboys are made up of a lorry driver, two woodworkers

and Ernie, who is so old his head has grown through the top of his hat.

Unusually, these countryfolk want to escape to the city.

We've been offered gigs way up country in Liverpool,

in Manchester... We've got to get up there,

and it's so far to go, it's a shame we can't, really, but...

-We've got other commitments.

-Yeah.

If they can get Jazzie's musical juices flowing,

they'll have a chance to perform in London for the first time.

Good luck.

Good luck, mate! It sounds bonkers in there.

We've taken our lives in our hands

and come to watch them mainline scrumpy.

I mean, play a gig at their local.

This is different. This is different!

BAND PLAYS EXUBERANT FAST COUNTRY MUSIC

# I'm going to the road out back, don't you want to go?

# I'm going to the road out back, don't you want to go?

# Come with me, and hear me roar

# Packing up the truck for the night and day

# Where we're going to go, nobody can say

# We might even leave the USA

# Well, we might even leave the USA. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Welcome to Somerset!

-Thank you very much.

-Shall we take a pew, guys?

Grab a pew, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do it.

When we walked in with the energy of the audience and everything

and you guys were going at it hell for leather, there was a lot going on.

-And a lot of great traditional instruments there...

-Yeah.

..having their moment. I think that's very important.

Two things really stood out, other than your voice.

The harmonica and the squeeze-box as individual instruments, for me

personally, they're quite special.

And I thought that was really a nice edge to the band as well.

But I also noticed on most of the stringed instruments you had

this electronic tuning device.

The thing is with a banjo, you've got wood, metal,

you've got temperature changes, you've a vellum skin on it.

When that place fills up, it gets warm and everything goes out of tune.

So you have to stay on top of your game with it.

People were looking at you a bit, I noticed one or two of them were looking across at you.

-Well, they're amazed I'm still alive!

-LAUGHTER

Thanks so much for having us, we've had a great time.

It was awesome to come here. It felt like a real party.

Cheers! ALL: Cheers!

-You're very good, guys.

-Good luck with it.

What do you make of that?

I thought the magic was in the instrumentation.

Each thing had its place.

But for me, every time the harmonica man came in, he accented

the music that they were playing in such a way that it just made you listen.

-You know?

-Yeah.

-And it was nice. It was a whole, complete sound.

So I really enjoyed it.

Boom!

Ooh.

What time did you go for breakfast then?

I went at... Breakfast closed at 10:30, I went at 10:29 and 51 seconds.

Do you know what, it was 10:27 and I was coming down in the lift

and the lift stopped twice on the way down and this woman got in

and she had, like, a suit carrier thing with her dresses in or whatever,

it was just sticking out into the door, so the door wouldn't close properly.

So I was like, "Christ, it's 10:28!" And the door's going "Bing-bong!" She was laughing and I was thinking,

-"If I miss by breakfast..."

-Time's slipping!

-"..because of you."

She said, "I hope you don't mind me saying so, but you look like that Welsh comedian."

I went, "Oh, I am that Welsh comedian."

And she goes, "Oh, I'm really sorry then." LAUGHTER

A crack-of-dawn start was essential, as we're headed for the south coast.

And to be honest, the next band in our adventure fills me with dread.

Pun totally intended.

Jazzymus B, we are off to Bournemouth to see...

..a dub-reggae band called Dubheart.

That's going to be interesting.

-This is your...bag, isn't it?

-Good grief.

-Your thing?

Oh. That's a difficult one. You're sending me to the dentist.

What are you apprehensive about, if anything?

It's going to be an insult to my intelligence, you know, if they

are pretending, trying to copy Bob Marley and the Wailers or something.

It'll be a real breath of fresh air

-if they really are deep into their reggae.

-How will you know that?

Before the first eight bars you're going to hear a tightness

with the rhythm section. You'll feel that immediately.

They're either going to be really, really good, or really shit.

For Dave, dub reggae is a way of life.

This is Countryman Soundsystem,

bringing reggae and dub to the people.

When he's not bringing it to the people with his sound system,

club promoter Dave is creating it with Dubheart.

It's quite spontaneous, how we do it,

it's not orchestrated, so the dubs will be different each time.

Bournemouth may be more trench coat than trench town,

but Dave's convinced Dubheart can go far.

This is quite a small scene in Bournemouth. It's kind of difficult.

Then there's this opportunity that came our way

and we thought we'd try and take it.

Hopefully people will get to know about us, more opportunities for shows.

Dubheart, it means so much to me.

It's my reason to really live, you know? Other than my son.

I've got Dubheart and I love the music we make.

And there's only one place better than Jamaica to experience

a dub reggae band - and that's Dave's living room.

BAND PLAYS HEAVY DUB REGGAE

# No matter, they can't stop me

# Too many friends, we've lost too many already... #

The band is made up of painters and decorators, a full-time dad,

an urban gardener, (yeah, right) and a cooperative co-owner.

No, me neither.

# You've got to be cool about it

# You've got to be cool about it

# Don't act like a fool

# Because it'll only bring you down

# Open your eyes

# Can't you read the signs?

# Stare into the light. #

-It sounds really good, guys. Really, really good.

-Thanks!

I'm really glad that you enjoyed it, Jazzie,

Because I was loving it, absolutely loving it,

and I thought, "Oh, God! What if he thinks it's not very good?"

-It's a bit of a worry, isn't it?

-If anybody's coming with reggae,

you've got to hit one out of the box. You feel me?

And you did it, but you did it, you know, with quality.

It was definitely inherently inside of you, as it were,

-and that's really set me up nice.

-Thanks, man. Nice of you to say so.

Where do you guys draw all your information from?

-Roots dub reggae.

-Roots rock reggae.

-Gregory Isaacs, Mighty Diamonds,

Vultures, Burning Spear...

We're showing our age now, aren't we, fellas?

Tradition there.

-Maturity!

-After 18 years of doing it, what do you want from it now, then?

Be nice to make a living at it.

Any advice we could get off you as how we can move things forward...

-We're a bit isolated in Bournemouth sometimes, like...

-Move.

-LAUGHTER

-..and it's good to...

We've all got family here! Can't do it. We've got kids.

-We're only seeing you down here, so it was definitely worth it.

-Thank you.

Tell you what, man, I've never been more relieved in my life.

-Really?

-Because I knew you were apprehensive about going to see a reggae band,

and I thought, "Oh, my God, we're going in here to see a reggae band - in their LOUNGE!"

Imagine if they'd been shit or you didn't like them or something?

I was thinking, "This could be so... This could be the most awkward moment of my life."

Yeah, I was surprised.

That was exceptional and I was just so happy it was what it was.

This is one of the reasons to go and check part-time bands.

If this is about love of music, both of the bands we saw yesterday and today,

-you know, they both qualify.

-Yeah.

-I spy with my little eye, something beginning with..."R".

-"R"?

-Mm-hm.

-Road.

-There you go.

-My go.

-I was going to say "Rhod".

-But I chose road.

-Um, I'm stepping up with it, right? A bit harder.

-OK.

I spy with my little eye, something beginning with "C".

-What, the chevrons?

-Yeah. RHOD TUTS

I'm reading your mind, fella!

LAUGHING: How can you get chevrons so quickly?

-Because I saw you look at it!

-LAUGHTER

With white-hot banter like this, the days are just flying by.

# Boom-ba-doom ba-boom-ba-doom... #

And they'll need to, as with over

500 bands applying from the south...

playing everything from Cajun...

to thrash...

..folk to rock and roll...

..we're going to have to thrash the "folk" out of this tour bus.

# ..I can't hear it

# Turn it up... #

That was pretty typical, sort of like in between Spinal Tap

and rock and roll there.

I think the standard has been amazing, Jazzie.

I don't envy you the job of picking your favourites to go

through to the live gig.

How many bands have we got?

Bloody loads, Jazzie.

And this doddery old rattle van is seeing more action than

Sting's Twister mat.

So we're off to Stroud,

to see a band called the Russian Flying Squirrels.

-Nice name.

-Lots of guitars, a bit prog.

Is that going to be harder for you to appreciate or engage with?

It depends on how deep the music is.

When I started off in the old rock and roll business,

I worked in professional recording studios

and 90% of our clients were guitar-based bands,

so it was something that I was brought up with.

With a guitar band, they can be really boring

because they're always copying one another.

You're going to be looking for their unique

style in terms of their sound.

For 35 years, the lead singer of Russian Flying Squirrel,

IT director Rudy Carroll,

has thought about guitars just a bit too much.

Why not?

If it can be done, put on your main instrument and then attach

another little instrument to it, which can come in useful.

Because it's possible to do it, it's quite good fun to do it,

people like it when I do it, and it makes different sounds.

I learned to play guitar when I was 11.

My big brother was on Top Of The Pops when I was 11.

He was in a band called The Members.

# That's right This is the sound of the suburbs. #

That was it, that was kind of OK, guitars, music,

travelling around in a van with your mates - that's what I want to do.

I conditioned myself into absolutely being obsessed by guitars.

One, two, three, four.

Rudy is by far the oldest member of the band.

Nah! Silly! Those are his kids.

Seriously though, he formed Russian Flying Squirrel after meeting

a fellow guitarist outside their school.

All the guys in the band are very, very family-orientated.

We care about our families much more than we care about anything else.

Balancing it is the hardest thing.

Personally, much as I need to do the music,

it comes a distant third to family and work, unfortunately.

-Good to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

-Come on in. Hi, Rhod.

-Hiya.

-Nice to meet you.

-You too. Amanda.

-Hi, Amanda.

Do you go to all the gigs, Amanda? Are you a groupie?

I've never been to a gig. They've never played a gig.

-They've never played a gig?

-Never.

-Not one?

-Not one.

-Ever?

-Ever.

Every week, they're next door playing, rehearsing

and I hear them through the walls.

They must be waiting for that perfect moment.

-They're working it out to perfection.

-Hopefully it's now.

-Right. OK.

-How long have they been waiting for the perfect moment?

Erm...a couple of years?

Well, sometimes people can take almost a lifetime to make

an album, so let's check them out.

# Ah-ah-ah ah-ahhhh... #

# When I'm without I'll be within... #

-Sounds... Sounds...

-Amazing. This is the bollocks.

-The bollocks?

-Yeah, this is hot.

-It's the bollocks.

# When I'm alone I can go home to you...

# Ah-ah-ah

# Ohh-ooh-ohh. #

Fuck. It's...

Leave that on. That's all part of it. That is... I am...

I have to be really frank with you.

I'm not really a guitar man, but when I hear shit like that,

that's just like... Whoa.

What was going on even with the effects and your syncopation,

-everything was just fucking bang on.

-We've all got our own space.

We all play entirely in our own spaces, which is brilliant.

We're not trying to make the sound, we're just doing what we do and it happens.

-Organically happening.

-It's kind of the beauty of us turning up

every so often and going, "We're not at work, the kids are in bed,

"let's have a beer and just play together."

When Amanda said that you'd never done a gig, you're kind of like, "What, really?"

And you've been together for a few years.

Are you kind of itching to do a gig or are you just not bothered?

Gigging is fun but it's not everything.

I really like the being creative in here

and kind of writing and developing stuff. It's much nicer.

We are at that point where we're saying, "Come on, we'd better go

"and do a gig," which is partly why we've put in for this,

because we needed something to focus a bit.

I think this is baked, fellas.

And somebody needs to eat a piece of this pie.

Ooh!

-Man.

-Fella.

-Fella, man.

-Whoa.

-Wowzer.

-I loved that.

-I think I've...

-You haven't got one as well, have you?

-I think I have.

We've both got boners.

THEY LAUGH

-You don't see Ant and Dec do that, do you?

-Rhod, that was...

Go on, you tell me. You tell me.

Just the little hint of kind of colour on the vocals,

the harmonies done by the bass player -

there's four people in that little room, so there's a lot going on.

Erm...very refreshing.

With our equipment restored to factory settings, we're

off again, heading for a veritable musical hotbed.

James Blunt, Billie Piper, Dave from Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich,

the list of Wiltshire's musical legends goes on and on.

We are here to see Sinestar, a five-piece synth pop outfit.

-We formed about three years ago.

-Fronted by telecoms guru Iain.

Is this the band? Are you a family band? But you do the lyrics?

-You write the lyrics?

-Yeah, so most of the time I do the lyrics.

-I've had some inspiration along the way.

-OK. Have you?

-Yeah.

So I wrote a poem when I was in Year Six, I must have been about 11.

And Dad came along one day and went, "Oh, that's all right, actually."

-How cute is that?

-And made that into the song, I Am The Rain.

# ..The backwash

# The colour I paint the sky a shade of grey

# For the love lost... #

# I, I am the rain

# I dance with the light

# Into a million colours of the day

# Cos I am the rain

# I dance with the light Into a million colours... #

Are you telling us that that's the lyrics that your daughter wrote?

Yeah, I mean, she was 11, like she said,

came up with a poem and I went,

"Better words than I could ever dream up."

So who's on the publishing on that?

It's us, basically, with a credit to my daughter, of course.

-Member of PRS?

-No.

-No.

I guess the thing is we've never really taken ourselves that

-seriously, if I'm honest.

-Shut up! With that lyric? Leave it out!

A lot of people do take the Performing Rights Society for granted.

You should have that locked down because somebody else could be

coming along to the gig and snap that one straight up.

-Hey. Good tune.

-Thank you. Means a lot that.

-No probs. See you later.

The song had a lot, a lot of potential.

But it was a bit more sequenced than it was live, you know?

-Mechanical.

-Yeah.

Click-click. Boop-boop! Road trip.

Here we go.

350 miles into our epic southern adventure and we're heading east

for London, when normally super-cool Jazzie

suddenly loses his shit.

Are we there yet?

Life on the road is no picnic and it's clearly getting to him.

I ain't fucking feeding them to you, though.

HORN HONKS

-I'm big enough, I'm going.

-Yeah.

Assert your authority there, Rhod.

Yeah. Do you know who's in this van?

Jazzie B and Rhoddy G, innit.

Gig-wise, do you find everywhere's pretty much the same or have

you got favourite places, or worst places?

Usually, anywhere outside the M25 is good.

-Can't tell you where I go better, because it'll be offensive.

-Oh, OK.

I go better in the shitholes.

-What do you mean?

-If somewhere's a bit of a dump,

I find it more up for my stuff.

The bigger the shithole, the better I go.

Is it north or south?

It's not Tunbridge Wells, I'll tell you that.

Finally, Jazzie B and Rhoddy G land in the big smoke

and point the van in the direction of hip and happening east London,

to see a band who offer something we haven't seen yet on this trip.

We're going to see an East-West fusion band, six-piece.

Some of the music that I'm into

has an Eastern flavour.

I think the biggest thing I'd be looking for

is their instrumentation.

How much they have taken from the East.

SHE SINGS IN HINDI

Fronted by vocalist and medical student Vidushi

this seven-piece fusion band is made up of a delicious

blend of students, with hints of ultrasound technician,

traces of IT consultant and a bit of a banker.

-All of the instrumentation is very Western, all right.

-Yes.

S'up with that?

Qawwali, traditionally, is played with the harmonium and a tabla,

and we are playing exactly that.

The same structure, the same scales as Qawwali and we play it using...

Western instrumentation.

-I really liked it. It's kind of cool and it does work.

-Thank you.

Vocally, as well, some of the acrobats and stuff like that

-is kind of cool.

-Cheers, means a lot.

-What language was used?

-Hindi, both Hindi.

But, we should point out that music has no language.

No, but the vocals did.

What did you make of them? Different.

Really different. I think what I found unique about them

is the Eastern sound mixing with the Western thing...

-Western instrumentation.

-Very interesting.

Could do with tightening up a little bit, but I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it.

I thought, musically, they were different.

MUSIC: Brimful Of Asha by Cornershop

550 miles munched...

Happy days.

..and Jazzie's totally losing it again.

On a scale of one to ten, I just really do, I enjoy music,

-but my roots are...

-What do you mean, "On a scale of one to ten you enjoy music?"

-Well, because I...

-Where was the scale of one to ten?

Yeah. Well, all right, one to 11,

-I really...

-So, what number is it?

# Scissor, paper, stone paper,

# Scissor, paper, stone

# Scissor, paper, stone paper,

# Scissor, paper, stone...#

With over 100 bands

applying from London alone,

on a scale of one to ten,

we're really busy.

At the end of our trip,

Jazzie will pick his favourite five to play at a gig in London,

where they'll battle it out for a place in the grand final.

And on a scale of one to ten, I'm very excited.

If you say on a scale of one to ten or 11, you've got to give a number.

All right. 13,

I enjoy music.

This is going to be a long week.

It's going to be a hell of a long week.

We're clearly suffering a severe case of van fever,

but stumble on to another east London studio

to meet indie band, Tall Poppies.

MUSIC: Cat Got Your Tongue by Tall Poppies

A four-piece fronted by twin sisters,

with three doctors and a fashion student.

No, hang on, that's six pieces.

# The face that you hide behind

# Open mouth, no words coming out

# Just take a breath

# Spit it out

# Has the cat got your tongue?

# Oooh

# Oooh

# Oooh

# Oooh. #

-Thank you very much.

-How long have you been together?

It's coming up to two years, but we met in a psychiatric asylum.

Oh, really.

In an asylum, did you say?

So, I'm a psychiatrist and we met when you were doing psych training.

I did some psychiatry. I'm a doctor, as well.

I met Diarmuid at a more conventional hospital.

-And were you already in bands then?

-So, I've always played bands.

-Do you know the band Noah And The Whale?

-Noah And The Whale? Yeah.

-My brother's the lead singer so I...

Were you the drummer for Noah And The Whale?

That's right, a long time ago.

-It's a bit like...

-You coy little bugger, sat at the back there.

So, you sort of tasted success and didn't necessarily like it as much as you...?

I went to go and be a doctor instead.

You're a great example for young people getting into the music business...

That's very kind of you to say, Jazzie.

..cos they always say you should have something to fall back on.

Onward and upwards.

That's right.

Not too upwards, otherwise you'll lose your drummer.

You know how fickle he is.

Jazzie's clearly loving being on the road with me

and, off-camera, he cries real, hot, wet tears when he learns it's nearly over,

as we're heading to north London to see our final act.

King Salami And The Cumberland Three.

That's a name and a half there, innit?

Drummer and graphic designer Eric literally couldn't live

without his garage punk band.

It's a bit like a drug.

I really need to play music, really.

If I don't play music, I get a bit depressed.

I think about the band most of the time.

Cheer up, Eric. You'll get to play once I've done this bit.

Eric's day-job comes in handy.

He designs all the band's artwork.

"Fourteen Blazin' Bangers."

And you can see the doggy judge is in most of the records.

I think he was in like five different bands when I met him.

So I knew what I was getting into, I think.

Eric hides his passion for music so well,

his wife Maki has barely noticed he's in a band.

He always practices regularly, so Thursday,

we can never do anything on Thursdays.

And if he's got a gig in the weekend,

he prefers not to do anything on the Friday.

And he's often away throughout the weekend if it's abroad,

so I don't really see him that much.

HIGH-OCTANE PUB ROCK

INDISTINCT LYRICS

Jazzie and I have come to an intimate venue in north London

to grab a slice of King Salami.

# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... #

Being part of the programme, it will give us exposure.

We'd like our music to be heard by as many people as possible, really.

To play in front of a good audience

as opposed to in front of ten people.

I like them even more now. Cos that's their own...

Thank you, everybody.

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

AUDIENCE: Whoo!

Well done, guys. That was great. I enjoyed that.

I thoroughly enjoyed that.

What I enjoyed most about it, honestly,

was the fact that it looked like fun,

not being so serious and being really entertaining.

There's too many bands who are too serious about it, you know,

to focus on glory and fame and when they're on stage, they're paralysed.

They're looking at their feet. And I'm like, "Come on, man!"

You know, it's supposed to be fun.

Did you have the character before the hat and stuff,

-or did you put the hat on and then it all changes?

-He always had a bit of a character.

-He always had the character?

-Yeah.

-What's the day job, Seb?

I coach tennis.

OK, I can see that.

LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH

Hey! Can't you tell?

THEY LAUGH

What's nice is to see a band with a character front man,

cos I think that's a little bit unusual.

-Most of the guys try to play it down a little bit.

-Great gig.

-Thank you, man.

-Great gig.

I like the way he's so animated and it's great to watch.

-Yeah.

-Really good to watch.

-You can imagine them working, like, put them in a...

That was a really small pub gig.

-You can imagine that working on a...

-On a larger scale.

On a bigger scale, really working the audience.

600 miles munched and our southern road trip is over

and on a scale of one to ten, we've seen a lot of amazing bands.

It's down to Jazzie which five will be invited to perform live in London.

Coming into this, I mean,

the standard has been a lot higher than I thought. How has it been for you?

I've been pleasantly surprised with the whole thing.

There's been variety, there's been depth.

It's been real rock and roll. It really has, yeah.

What's inspired you? I mean...

I think what's inspired me is just...

Just all these people at it and the WAY they're at it

and the fact that music still exists out there, in any way,

in any shape, in any form - it's all there

and it makes me appreciate much more of what I'm involved with.

Happy days!

We've had a ball.

-We've had a real good time.

-We've had a REAL good time.

-And your driving's not that bad, fella!

-My driving is all right.

I'm going to miss you. I'm really going to miss you.

-Ah!

-I'm really going to miss you.

-Yeah.

I'll see you again, fella.

This is edited, so I only have to wait a few seconds to see Jazzie again.

Boom! The day of the live gig is upon us.

-Well up for this one!

-So am I but who have you invited?

So who have we got here? Tonight, we're going to have Dubheart.

# A hard day's night... #

The reason why I put Dubheart through -

I think they're real,

I love their vibe, but can Dubheart bring it to the stage?

King Salami and the Cumberland Three.

INDISTINCT LYRICS

They had character, spirit, energy.

They're a bit punky.

They're great entertainers.

I put Side Partition through

because I like the idea of them fusing East and West.

They need to up their game from what happened at rehearsals.

Then we've got the Redhillbillies.

Seeing them in their own environment,

they had a huge following but I think giving them the opportunity

to actually play a live show in London - can they blow us all away?

Then we also have the Russian Flying Squirrels.

They are quite epic and I feel that they had their own unique sound.

Maybe the idea of an audience could disrupt them a little bit,

because they're very much used to playing in their own environment.

-Never done a gig?

-Never done a gig.

I thought, where better to do their first gig?

A first gig here is going to take some balls.

Hello.

So I hope the Russian Flying Squirrel remember where they hid their nuts.

But for all the bands, this is a very big gig.

Come on!

At the end, Jazzie will pick two acts to go through

to the grand final in Manchester.

What are we doing with the vocals?

You got no Avalons or anything, no?

No!

We are the only reggae band in Bournemouth,

so there's no competition around and there's no yardstick

to, like, measure yourself up against.

The bands can finally check out the competition.

APPLAUSE

-I think they'll really work.

-Yeah.

We want to win the competition. That's why we're here.

Can I make a quick suggestion? We need to see the accordion player.

You can't split the family up.

It's really different playing in London, compared to down there,

-because...

-We've never played in London.

-We've never played in London before!

Where are all the trees?

-We're quietly excited and...

-Quietly?

..quietly confident as well.

Who's this venue going to suit tonight, do you think?

I actually think it's a pretty even playing field.

I'm just anxious just about one band

but once we get through the rehearsal, or the sound check...

Anxious about one band?

Yeah. Just the Squirrels.

Get yourself settled first. Say hello. Lovely.

Tonight is going to be difficult and we've only ever

played in a room facing in and looking at each other,

so this will be the first time we're all sort of spread out

and the drums are behind.

We were thinking of getting mirrors on our microphone stands

so we could actually sort of see each other!

Either that, or all performing in like a little hole,

-in the middle of the stage.

-Recreate our room!

What about even if you just had the velocity down -

HUMMING

Yeah, from the instrument itself?

Yeah.

You know, a few dBs.

It's ruining his... It's ruining his home-made guitars.

-Yeah, it is.

-It's made them too loud.

One is ten!

Yeah, one is ten!

Sound check was a bit shaky at first.

-A bit shaky at second and third as well, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

I was uncomfortable on many levels.

I was very, very uncomfortable on many levels.

As Russian Flying Squirrel battle their nerves,

the crowds gather outside.

Support for the bands has come from far and wide.

-We've been on the coach for about five...five, six hours.

-Yeah.

-There was about 60, 70 of us.

-Yeah.

The annexe is small and

in there is massive, so...

The other difference - no audience in the annexe.

Here, hopefully, quite a few people.

Including us.

It's all right, it's all right. Sh, sh.

Give him the paper bag to breathe into.

Go back to your happy place.

CHEERING Hello, hello.

Hello, London.

-Hello!

-Hello, Scala.

Here we are. It's the UK's Best Part-time Band.

-Give us a U! AUDIENCE:

-U!

-Give us a K! AUDIENCE:

-K!

-Give us a...B! AUDIENCE:

-B!

Give us a... Fuck it! LAUGHTER

Thanks, all of you, for coming, so much.

It's rammed in here. That's fantastic.

This is Jazzie B of Soul II Soul fame.

CHEERING

Jazzie chose all the bands here tonight.

So, they were his particular favourites.

It was incredible,

some of these guys in their front rooms, in their sheds.

It was so, so interesting.

-So, for me, tonight is really, really, really, really a big deal.

-The other thing to remember,

at the end of tonight, Jazzie's going to pick his two favourites from this five,

and half are you going to be going, "Oh, it was the wrong bloody choice. He didn't go for the band I like."

Right, we couldn't give a fuck. Right? LAUGHTER

There is no prize.

It's just a bit of fun.

Try and remember that.

But we want you to enjoy yourselves as much as you can.

-Our first band are all the way from Bournemouth.

-Yeah.

CHEERING

-Feeling good.

-Er...yeah, good, yeah.

Yeah, happy, nervous.

Nobody ever wants to go first cos the crowd is cold.

Whack it up, give them all the love in the world, please, for Dubheart!

-CHEERING

-Dubheart, ladies and gents.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. How we doing?

CHEERING

Is everyone feeling happy?

Hope you enjoy our vibes.

We're called Dubheart.

Jah!

# Whoa-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh

# Oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh

# Oh-oh. #

# Whoa-oh-oh-oh

# Oh na-na here

# I say

# Cool Cool under pressure

# The more you give The more you get

# I tell you this now

# Cool Cool, never surrender

# Open your world Know you've got to stay

# Cool Cool under pressure

# The more you give The more you get

# I tell you this now

# Cool Cool, never surrender

# Open your world Go!

# Go

# Go

# Whoa! #

CHEERING

Thank you very much.

They totally nailed that. They got into their zones and they totally... It sounded beautiful.

-I love his voice.

-Sounded great, looked good.

-You could see at the end there they really enjoyed that.

-Absolutely.

APPLAUSE

We've warmed them up for you, yeah? We've warmed them up for you, yeah?

-Don't nick my jokes.

-THEY LAUGH

So, the next band...

What am I going to tell you about the next band? They are from Redhill in Somerset.

CHEERING

There's a couple of fans there, isn't there?

Our family's out there, we're all good.

The Redhillbillies, ladies and gentlemen, The Redhillbillies.

# An old cowboy went ridin' out one dark and windy day #

# Upon a ridge he rested as he went along his way

# When all at once a mighty herd of red-eyed cows he saw

# A-ploughin through the ragged skies and up a cloudy draw... #

OK, all together!

# Yippee ay-oh

# Yippee ay-ey

# The ghost riders in the sky

# Their brands were still on fire and their hooves were made of steel

# Their horns were black and shiny

# And their hot breath he could feel

# Hoo! Ha!

# A bolt of fear went through them as they thundered through the skies

# For he saw the riders comin' hard

# Whoo!

# And he heard their mournful cries... #

# Ya!

# Yippee ay-oh

# Yippee ay-ey

# The ghost riders in the sky. #

-Ya!

-Moo!

-CHEERING

Moo!

Look at them.

Whoo! Whoo, whoo, whoo! Yee-ha!

-CROWD:

-We want more! We want more! We want more!

If we come last, I still enjoyed that.

The next band, ladies and gentlemen, is from London.

CHEERING

They're ultrasound engineers, they're in finance, IT, doctors,

all sorts. CHEERING

Are you...? Which one? Which one are you?

-Medics.

-You're medics?

Fucking look at you! Are you on strike right now?

LAUGHTER

Jazzie, what did you like about these guys when you saw them?

I like the instrumentation,

I like the whole crossover between East and West.

They're pretty outstanding.

Bit nervous!

Give them a huge, huge round of applause, a cheer

for Side Partition.

-CHEERING

-Yeah.

Good luck, guys.

HE SINGS IN OWN LANGUAGE

Thank you.

They're amazing. They're like a kind of Indian...subcontinental prog band.

They're wicked.

-OK, that was good.

-That was amazing.

-It was good.

They smashed it. So, our next band,

our next band... Where did we see them?

Er...Stroud.

CHEERING

-Oh, there's a few locals, then.

-HE LAUGHS

Ah. The Stroud massive is in town. JAZZIE LAUGHS

I'm up for it. We've just got to enjoy it, really.

They've never done a gig.

CHEERING

Have they done three gigs?

-AUDIENCE:

-No!

Have they done two gigs?

-AUDIENCE:

-No!

-Have they done one gig? AUDIENCE:

-No!

-How many gigs have they done? AUDIENCE:

-None!

That's right. LAUGHTER

We saw them in, like, a conservatory sort of annexe,

I think, where they've been locked in for the last three years,

honing their craft.

Jazzie and I came out and, er...

we both had boners.

-LAUGHTER

-He had one.

I was on a semi.

LAUGHTER

That was a semi?!

I can hardly get my head round it. LAUGHTER

That didn't happen. Erm...

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up, the Russian Flying Squirrel.

CHEERING

# Fallen leaves

# Fallen leaves

# William likes these

-# Holds them to his face

-Holds them to his face

# And releases

# Ah-ah-ah-ah

# Ah-ah-ah-ah

# Ah

# Ah. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

I think they done magnificently.

I actually a feel a bit, like, a moment, like, you know...

Something that we discovered like that,

and their first gig, um...

Yeah, I'm chuffed - sorry, I'm a little bit...

-Are you going to cry?

-No, I'm...

-He's going to cry!

I'm getting emotional, yes.

MOCKINGLY: # Jazzie's going to cry Jazzie's going to cry. #

And I know that they were fully out of their comfort zone,

but watching them here tonight, it's a proud moment for me, yeah.

Wicked. Nice one.

I'm very proud of Rudy,

and I really hope the band got everything they wanted out of it.

They finally got out the annexe - the Squirrels have been released!

Brilliant. About bloody time!

So our next band, ladies and gentlemen, is from north London.

This is your massive, innit, Jazzie? Talk to them, this is your massive.

Well, you know, this next band coming up absolutely blew me away.

You know, it's not every day I get to listen to music like that,

but it was a massive, massive turn-on,

so I hope you're going to enjoy them as much as I did.

-Nervous.

-Yeah, very nervous.

-Brrr!

-MARACAS RATTLE

-King Salami and the Cumberland Three!

-Yes!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ladies and gentlemen, do you want to hear some rock and roll?

-AUDIENCE:

-Yes!

Mr Baconstrip...

It wouldn't be King Salami without the appropriate hats.

We're not funny. We're dangerous.

Do you want to hear some rock and roll?

-AUDIENCE:

-Yeah!

I want to hear you say "Yeah!"

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# Yeah!

# Down at the Corn Rocket I feel all right

# So I took my baby dancin' on Saturday night

# Gonna teach her a dance that's outta sight

# It goes ha-ha!

# Come on, pretty baby, do the wurst

# If you don't know how to do it watch me first

# You gotta take a chance You gotta do the dance

# The wurst is bliss and it goes like this... #

SPEECH DROWNED OUT BY MUSIC

Ladies and gentlemen, it is the time now for you to repeat after me.

# You gotta shake your bones and boogie down low

-AUDIENCE:

-# You've gotta shake your bones and boogie down low

# Do a little jig and shimmy real slow

-AUDIENCE:

-# Do a little jig and shimmy real slow

# Stomp your feet from side-to-side

-AUDIENCE:

-# Stomp your feet from side-to-side

# Now you're doing the wurst, you're doing all right

-AUDIENCE:

-# You're doing the wurst...

# You're doing all right!

# Come on, pretty baby, do the wurst

# If you don't know how to do it watch me first

# You gotta take a chance You gotta do the dance

# Mama-ma-ma-ma-ma Do the wurst. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-You're supposed to throw it to me and I smash it out the park.

-OK.

-Smash it out.

-Too late, now, innit?

-Brilliant.

-We're not talking to you.

-Shut up.

-We're not.

In fact, you should have shaved, you should have shaved.

That was phenomenal. Absolutely phenomenal.

-You're lying.

-I'm not lying.

-You're a pleaser.

-I'm not lying.

Honestly, I'd have walked past if it had been embarrassing.

People are friendlier - as I've been walking through the gig,

people are actually in a better mood.

-People are friendlier.

-You make that happen.

You've changed the mood. Don't wave your maracas at me.

All five bands have played.

Jazzie and I go upstairs to mull over his decision

and, on a scale of one to ten... Sorry.

Rhod, fella.

Oh... Time for a decision, now, isn't it?

It's a really difficult one. I didn't...

I've got to say, I didn't think it would be that hard,

or as hard as this, but it's fucking hard.

It's really, really hard.

I'm going to be heartbroken for somebody.

-Absolutely heartbroken.

-I think...

I am as well. I am already, cos I have to make this decision

and I think I'm going to go with who I felt, on the night,

they were on point,

and...I've made my decision.

-Let's go and tell them.

-Let's do it.

-Let's go and tell them.

-Where's the exit?

-YOU go and tell them.

JAZZIE LAUGHS

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back.

Thanks to all of you, so much, for staying around.

I'm glad that you're as invested in this as we are.

-I've gone home!

-You've gone home, have you? Good.

You've seen such amazing talent for people who don't do this at all

as their first job, it's just part-time,

it's their passion, it's their love,

so give them all a round of applause.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Having said that, Jazzie's going to invite two on into the final.

I'm going to bring the bands on, just to make it more awkward.

Let's do it in front of them, why not?

Tonight, you saw the Redhillbillies.

You saw the Russian Flying Squirrel.

You saw King Salami and the Cumberland Three.

You saw Side Partition.

And, at the top of the show, Dubheart.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Here we have it. Um...

The two bands that are going to be invited back...

Cos you're all great. Everybody here is great.

King Salami and the Cumberland Three.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And I'm also going to invite back...

..Dubheart.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Feeling a little bit disappointed, but it's been a great day

and all credit to the bands that went through,

cos they were fantastic.

King Salami and the Cumberland Three totally blew me away

and I just thought they had the energy,

and I really feel that they had all the attributes.

I've been invited by 52 people for a drink.

It could be a long night.

CHEERING

For me, Dubheart were just...

There was a purity about them

and it didn't actually matter

whether they went first, third or last -

they've really left an impression on me.

We're in Bournemouth, we don't get many opportunities.

People having faith in us to move us forwards to the next step, it's amazing, so...

-Thank you very much.

-Blessings.

There it is - the end of our final tour

and we now know our grand finalists,

who will battle it out next time

in Manchester.

-Hey!

-You will see his bongos,

ladies and gentlemen.

Come on, let's do it.

# Ah...!

# Packed my things and back to work... #

Hey, that's woken me up!

-So good.

-They are good.

THEY LAUGH

Forget the fun - we're going out there to win, fella!