Episode 1 Dead Good Job

-Funeral service.

-And dad passed away on what date?

'It's one of the first calls we make when someone dies.'

All the family memories, and all the pictures of the wedding days, it's so sad.

'Funeral directors help us bury out loved ones.

'One day they'll do the same for us.'

What happens is, the body is laid in, this way is Mecca.

-What a day.

-Come on.

When I seen her, she looked absolutely beautiful.

And all I wanted to do was get hold of her. I couldn't.

'Death is a certainty. But there are many ways to say the final goodbye,

'with or without belief.'

It's not a proper biker's funeral unless it's freezing and raining,

but he's dry and that's what matters.

'Planned or paid for in advance.'

I'm not scared cos I know I'll be with my dad.

'Quietly or noisily.'

The grave will collapse. Can you move back, please?

It's organised chaos.

'In an expensive casket.'

Euphemistically referred to by some people as the Rolex.

-'Or wrapped in a simple shroud.'

-It would be like a dress, like that.

Our motto is, "Anything that's legal." We aren't here to be the bastions of good taste.

'We reveal how today's funeral is changing

'and compare the end-of-life rituals of different faiths.'

So long as the ashes are scattered on flowing water, that's all that needs to be done, really.

'We go behind the scenes of Britain's funeral parlours

'and watch funeral directors at work.'

In here we have three deceased awaiting clearance for embalming.

'Caring for the living and the dead.'

'From the mortuary to the grave.'

A funeral is more symbolic than a wedding,

because it's about someone's life.

'There are half a million funerals every year in Britain,

'each one reflecting the life, loves and beliefs of the person who's gone.

'Lilleywhite Funerals has stood on this Manchester street corner for 120 years.'

Good morning, Lilleywhite Funeral Service.

'It specialises in a send-off still chosen by two out of three people.

'Religious service followed by cremation or burial.'

How many times do you polish your shoes a day?

Erm, at least twice, if not more.

Every time we go out.

'It's the start of the working day.

'Office manager Rochelle Dalton

is checking on the clients in the chapel of rest.'

I'm just going down into the chapels of rest.

Every morning I come down here just to make sure there are plenty of tissues,

to make sure that the flowers are OK,

and to make sure that all the deceased are all right,

and presentable, ready for families coming in to view them.

Sometimes the bodies can look maybe a little blue or a little dark,

so then we have to put a little bit of makeup on just to cover that.

-It doesn't bother you, then?

-No, not at all.

Not at all. No.

Erm, there's no reason why anybody should worry about going in.

Erm, they can't harm you. They can't harm you.

-Washing.

-HE LAUGHS

That's 90 percent of our job. Washing cars.

'Managing director Simon Lilleywhite

'is the fifth generation of the family to come into the funeral trade.'

I think I've always known in my heart of hearts

that funeral directing was the right profession for me.

Most people still want a very traditional funeral.

Maybe a little bit of embellishment around the sides to make it personal to the person that's passed away.

Erm, things have changed, but mainly people want a traditional funeral.

They tend to fall back on what they've experienced in the past and what they're comfortable with.

And if it's not broken, we don't need to fix it.

'Whitechapel, East London.

'Home to another traditional funeral business

'with a different way of burying the dead.'

You rang me yesterday regarding sending human remains back to Albania.

'Haji Taslim Muslim Funerals

is owned by Gulam Taslim and his daughter, Moona.'

Let me find out what's happening and I'll ring back

cos you might find they won't give Mummy's body to us today.

Funeral service. Funeral service. Funeral service.

'Here funerals are all about simplicity and speed.'

Here they do it over the phone. They don't say, "I want class A, class B,

"I want a coffin with special handles."

They just say, "Give me a funeral."

Just like they were ordering a pizza. It's as simple as that.

'Muslims want their loved ones in the grave as soon as possible after death.

'Allowing the soul to make a fast journey to paradise.'

They're not really worried about what the coffin looks like

or anything else, they just want it done quickly.

And if it means it's done in the back of an estate car,

as opposed to a hearse, so be it.

If it means they do it in their mate's car as opposed to using your ambulance,

they don't really care, they just want it done.

They don't care what mum's popped in afterwards, as long as she gets to the cemetery.

PHONE RINGS Funeral service.

'With four funerals and more to arrange every day, the pressure is on.'

How did she die then, Linda?

A black cab hit her?

'Today Gulam is picking up the body of an 80-year-old man

'from the local hospital.

'He was knocked down by a bus on his way to the mosque.'

We go to this hospital quite a lot

because I would say 45 to 50 percent of our clients

actually die at this hospital in East London.

And we have a very high Muslim population here of around 30,000.

So I picked him up from the mortuary

and I'm taking him back to the place where he will be washed and shrouded.

Erm, and then he will be buried tomorrow, about lunchtime.

We have people die in the morning, at nine, and they're buried by one o'clock.

We believe that the sooner you lay a person in their grave,

the sooner they get eternal peace.

Plus, it's done like that back home in most of the Middle Eastern and Far Eastern countries

because of the humidity and heat.

'It's now a race against time

'to get the body prepared and into the grave.'

MUSIC: "Back In Black" by AC/DC

'Speed plays an important part at this alternative funeral business in Leicestershire,

'but it's nothing to do with religious tradition.'

# Back in black, I hit the sack

# I've been too long, I'm glad to be back...

'Faster Pastor Paul Sinclair is a former church minister

'specialising in funerals for bikers

'and those wanting something a little bit different.'

# I got nine lives, cat's eyes

# Using every one of them and running wild...

'His hearses carry nearly 400 coffins a year.'

Here's three of the bikes. The others are out on funerals.

But we've got three of them here and these are what you call sidecar hearses or motorcycle hearses.

And this one will get you to the crematorium quicker than anyone else or your money back.

'Paul's business reflects the changing face of funerals in Britain.

'Most people still choose religion

'but they also want a service that's less sombre and more personalised.

'A celebration of life.'

I can't tell you how fast this will go for legal reasons,

but I can tell you it's pretty quick.

And this is the motorcycle hearse that people often ask for a last blast.

Now, to some people, that might sound a bit disrespectful.

But it's no different from a Scotsman being led by a bagpiper,

or a Manchester United supporter having a coffin in Manchester United colours.

So if somebody's an old boy or they used to race bikes,

they want to go quite quick, so we give it a good blast.

I think funerals are beginning to change,

er, mostly by people demanding they change.

They're saying, "Look, we want something not exactly the same as the last 12 people in front of us."

If you go into a supermarket to buy something,

not everything's the same colour, not everything's the same size,

not everything's the same style, you have a big choice.

And people expect the same with their funeral.

There's no other industry, whether it's clothing, vehicles, anywhere,

where you would walk into a room and ask to buy something

and be told, "But that's not traditional."

'Preparation of the body is an important funeral ritual across all religions and cultures.

'New clients arriving at Lilleywhite's

'usually stay for a week before the service.

'Behind the mortuary door,

'a hidden but important part of the undertaker's job is about to take place.

'Simon has vital work to do to preserve the body,

'to make the dead presentable to the living.'

This is the mortuary. This is where when we collect people we bring them and store them

until we get them ready to place in the chapel of rest.

We keep people in the fridge, obviously, for hygiene and preservation reasons.

We have an embalmer who embalms if the person needs to be embalmed.

Erm, my staff will wash the deceased,

dress them, shave them, tend to their hair,

before placing them in the coffins and then they go into the chapels.

And it is to make sure that nature doesn't take its course

sooner rather than later.

'A bereaved family are expected in for a viewing.

'Simon makes sure the deceased is looking as lifelike as possible.'

-So this is the lady that you're burying today.

-This morning, yes. Mrs Mottershead.

We made her look as natural as possible.

Erm, I mean, just so it looks like mum asleep in a coffin.

Everything needs to be absolutely perfect.

We don't want any slip-ups, any little mistakes that often upset people.

The little things upset people. Big things...

But it's the little things, the colour of the nail varnish,

the colour of lipstick, they're the things we have to make sure we get right.

All the pictures of the wedding days and it's so sad, it really is.

You know, all the things that they put in, the grandchildren.

All the family memories.

-Does it ever get to you?

-Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. I think if it doesn't then you're in the wrong job.

You don't become emotionally involved,

but of course you feel, if it was my mum, or somebody I knew and loved,

if it doesn't affect you then...

You've got to show empathy and sympathy to the people you're dealing with.

I think coming to say goodbye for the last time will be hard for them.

They've been coming a lot.

And I think today is the final time they can say goodbye.

'At Taslim's, the Muslim funeral directors,

'the body isn't preserved because the burial happens so quickly.

'But there's an important Islamic ritual to carry out.

'Harun Rashid Ali washes the male bodies

'with dignity and respect for the deceased at all times.'

When we're doing the washing, we need to make sure that

from the belly button, from the tummy to the knees all the time covered up.

We're going to wash it underneath the plastic.

And we need to keep that covered all the time while we're doing the washing.

Water has to be warm, not too cold, not too hot.

'Great care is taken because Muslims believe the dead person may still hear and feel what's going on.'

He can feel it, yeah.

That's what we believe in,

that when the man passed away, you have to be really careful

and make sure it doesn't harm him because he does feel, he can feel a bit of it.

'Female bodies are washed by women.

'Or the deceased's family come in to do it themselves.'

When I first started the washing, I was really frightened and scared,

and I thought, "I can't do this job."

At the moment, I'm not frightened of anything because I believe that they cannot do anything to you.

We're going to dry him up, OK? And then we're going to place him in the coffin.

Make sure his eyes are closed.

'Every Muslim is treated the same way in death,

'so all bodies are dressed in the same simple shroud.

'Habiba, the second daughter in the family business,

'makes sure everything is done correctly.'

For a man, it's very, very simple.

It's just three pieces. With us women, it's five.

We've got an extra headscarf, an extra bit round the middle.

It's just to hold us all in, I think.

We cut a line down here.

Just cutting out the place to put the head.

So we don't rip down the front cos we don't want to expose the front, we rip down the back.

None of the material or the cotton that we use can be sewn.

If you look, none of the edges have got any sewing on it. That's why we just rip it.

None of it's been sewn together, you're not allowed that.

So if I was going to put this on,

it would be like a dress, like that.

But underneath this there would be another piece of cloth.

Erm, it would be like a towel.

And you wrap it under the armpits and fold it like that.

So that would be the first piece. This would be the second piece.

The third piece would be my headscarf, which we'll make in a minute.

That's piece number four and that's piece number five.

-That's his number.

-Yeah.

Can you text him my mobile number, please, so that he knows.

Well, we need to know about the man who ran over on the bus.

OK. They said that in...

'In the office, Moona is helping a friend of the man knocked down by a bus.

'He's here to find out when the funeral is taking place.'

How did you find out that he'd passed away? Cos he was on his way to the mosque when he got knocked over.

-The mosque is near me.

-Oh, I see.

'On the day Abib Madah died, Usman was waiting for him at prayers.

'But he never arrived.'

-If you come tomorrow, the prayer time, you need to be here for half past 12, one o'clock.

-I will. I will.

-And you can join the prayer. OK, then.

-Thank you. Bye.

I know him for long time. I know him for long time.

I known him since 1960.

-Were you a good friend?

-Yes, it is.

Was my best friend.

There's a gentleman went and prayed every day at the mosque with his mate,

and then one day he didn't quite make it there. It's just sad.

But nice to hear that he had friends that he used to do that with.

Personalises it all a bit more, I suppose.

You always discover something you missed just before the funeral.

And the beauty of a British bike

is a little bit of oil appears here and there.

'Paul Sinclair is preparing one of his motorcycle hearses

'for an alternative funeral that will take place tomorrow.'

A large number of people who ask for our motorbike hearses

are non-religious, or they don't believe in God at all.

And this helps them to get through it cos it reminds them of the person's life,

and it enables them to look back with fond memories at that time.

-Here they are.

-'Audrey Frost's husband, Malcolm, has died at the age of 70,

'a member of a well-known bike club, the Blue Knights.'

This is the Tardis, this is Malcolm's trike.

He was very loving, very caring

and very vulnerable but full of fun.

Everybody knew Malcolm.

He was very much a...

He was a people person.

I'll miss him terribly.

He was... He was the love of my life.

He was my soul mate.

Yeah. No, we don't want people dressed up in suits and black and all the rest of it.

'An estimated one in ten people have a funeral with no religion and Malcolm is one of them.

'But his send-off will have its own unique set of rituals.'

We never actually discussed whether he wanted a biking funeral,

but we knew. We knew. It was just him.

It just had to be.

I think if you cut him in half, he'd have biker written.

You know, like a stick of rock.

Possibly that was his religion.

When somebody dies who doesn't know God, and their friends don't know God,

the funeral is a particular challenge because what do you do at that funeral?

Do you try to explain what's ahead?

Do you try to explain the afterlife? What do you do?

You can't really sing about these things.

So I think what most non-religious people would do,

and I think this is the wise thing to do,

is they will focus on the life of the person who's died

and celebrate what they do know

and what they can all agree on and rejoice in together.

Tomorrow's got to be right for Malcolm.

It's got to be...

..an expression of him and a celebration of him

and...

..it's got to be what he would want.

It's got to be the conclusion.

It's got to be a conclusion of his life.

'Simon and his team are preparing for a visit from the Mottershead family

'for a viewing in the chapel of rest.'

This is the arranging room. We bring the families in to arrange funerals.

So every morning when I come in,

my priority is just to check that everywhere is presentable.

-I notice you've got the tissues on the table.

-Yes. Yeah.

And more often than not, we do need them.

In every chapel of rest we have tissues.

In the waiting room we have tissues. Everywhere there are tissues, just in case.

DOORBELL RINGS

'The family have arrived to say a final goodbye

'before Lesley's coffin is closed for the funeral.'

Some families don't come. Some families come all the time.

And it's what's right for them.

I think some people find it very, very difficult to come so they don't come.

And I encourage people to go with how they feel.

If they feel like they don't need to say goodbye, then don't say goodbye.

If they feel like they want to say goodbye, then come along.

-What a day!

-Come on.

-Come on, now.

-Thank you.

Goodbye.

'Lesley and Albert were married for 35 years.

'She died suddenly from heart failure.'

When I seen her, she looked absolutely beautiful.

All her nails had been done, her hair had been done.

She was dressed in all her new clothes.

But I've never seen anybody look as nice as what she did.

She looked like a film star. Honestly, she looked like a film star.

And all I wanted to do was get hold of her. I couldn't.

I kissed her and everything, you know.

Yeah, I kissed her and everything.

Stroked her hair and her cheek.

HE SIGHS

It's a shame.

'Arranging a funeral is one of the hardest things we have to do.

'Today Denise Wales has an appointment with a funeral director near her home in Leeds.'

I've got butterflies. My stomach's churning.

It's turning and everything.

But I'll take a breather

and walk in them doors

and do whatever has to be done.

'Denise is a 49-year-old single mum with two teenage daughters.'

You're expecting somebody tall

in a dark suit with a top hat,

but I don't think it'll be like that, but it's what I've got situated in my mind.

'She's terminally ill with cancer

'and she's here to arrange her own funeral.'

I shouldn't really be doing this.

It's like, "Well, yeah, you're going to have to do it. You've no choice in the matter."

And the best thing really is if we just talk through anything you want to discuss

about what you would like to happen at the funeral.

'Funeral director Ruth Tempest will help Denise put her plan together.'

Have you had any thoughts as to who you would want to lead the service?

-Are you religious yourself?

-No.

I'm not going on the religion side of things.

We can either dress you in your own clothes...

-Please.

-Yeah. That's fine.

Which I'll get help with from Rebecca and Megan.

They might even want to shove a bit of makeup on me.

-SHE LAUGHS

-That's not a problem.

Her daughters are both very young, so to have to make decisions

at their age...

I know she's been very open with them about what she wants

and discussed what they want to happen, too.

So at least now they all know what's going to happen.

And it'll be easier for them to not have so much to decide at the time.

I mean, really, knowing that it's going to get burnt, as well, afterwards,

the traditional one will be fine.

And I think it looks so different when flowers have been put on,

-you know, just an arrangement of flowers on the top of the coffin.

-Yeah.

-We've got three different chapels.

-Oh, right.

'Denise has asked to see the chapel of rest,

'the place family and friends will come to view her body before the funeral.'

So, like I say, if they wanted to bring...

There's shelves to put photographs or anything like that on.

And the tables, we can always bring more tables and things like that.

So would I be on this side, then? Or would I be this side?

-Yeah, no, you'd be here where...

-Where that is. Yeah.

Your head would be this side, if you want to know that much.

-My head would be that side?

-Yeah.

-Could it not be that side?

We... The only reason we usually do that is for when people come in,

sometimes for them to see you straight away is quite upsetting.

-Right.

-So we'd have you so that they can come in,

see you, and it's them to turn to you...

-Mind you, I'm not going to feel it anyway, am I?

-No.

-SHE LAUGHS

I'm thinking of it as being me, because that way round, I wouldn't like it, I'd feel sick.

-Oh, would you?

-Yeah. Oh, God, I can't believe I just did that.

I'm thinking as though I'm going to be stood up, aren't I?

I'm going to be still here.

I think it is hard to think of it any other way, isn't it?

You can't... It's hard to see past that.

It is.

SHE SOBS

-It'll be all right.

-I know. It's very real, isn't it?

It is now, yeah.

Since I was just chatting then, I just... It's just hit me.

But, no. This'll be fine. It'll be OK.

-OK.

-I'm sorry about that.

-You don't need to be sorry.

-Yeah, but no, I'm happy with all that.

SHE SOBS

And dad passed away on what date?

25th.

And where was he when this happened?

It's all right. It's not a problem.

'It can be sometimes quite an emotional rollercoaster ride.'

But, yeah, I love it. I really enjoy it.

And I feel for the people that are coming through the door, as well.

Because, you know, they're all in the same boat,

erm, and we're here for them. They need us and we're here for them.

It would be, for a very simple funeral, it would be around £1,850.

On the whole, we try to keep a very light atmosphere in the office,

and try to be, you know, when there aren't clients here, try to enjoy ourselves a little bit.

Because otherwise you would go home depressed all the time

and we've all got children and families that we have to go home to.

You have to try and keep a smile on your face.

'Audrey Frost wants to see her husband, Malcolm, for the last time before his funeral.'

Hello.

'I've just got to go down and make sure his hair's done right.

'Cos I've been doing that for 16 years.

'Cos he liked it plaited. Just make sure he's respectable.'

Take as long as you need. I'm right outside if you need me.

-Thanks very much.

-You're welcome.

-Thank you.

-There he is, the old boy.

-The old git.

Ey up, my Malcy.

SHE SOBS I'm going to miss you so much.

SHE SOBS

Come on, now.

That's the last time and that's how I wanted to see him, really.

They've done a fantastic job.

Cos he looked so ill last time I saw him.

And it's... nice to see him look like himself and asleep.

I wanted to take him home.

-Did he look at peace?

-Yeah.

And he looked ready to go, didn't he, Jim?

All right.

'Friday is the Muslim holy day, the most popular day for funerals,

'because there are lots of people at the mosque to pray for the dead.

'Gulam needs to get Abib's body there in time for prayers.'

We're trying to get it in front of the priest

before the congregation gets into the mosque because then we can't get into the mosque

because we've got 4,000 people, so we have to be inside the mosque by 12. What time is it now?

Yeah, 11.30, so we're doing it now.

-So is that a race against time?

-It's always a race against time. It's very stressful.

-But we try our best.

-Good luck.

-All right. Thank you.

CAR ENGINE STARTS

'Over 4,000 people will attend Abib's funeral

'because the service will be part of Friday prayers.

'He'll share it with four other Muslims

'who will also be buried today.'

The funeral service in itself is very different from other faiths

in that it is a basic ceremony,

it's very quick, the prayers are done standing up,

they take all of a couple of minutes

and that same prayer is said for every single Muslim person that dies.

'Moona's outside the mosque checking everything runs smoothly.'

-Busy, huh?

-Very busy.

So you have the men coming out of one section and the ladies out of the other.

Because there's five Janazahs today,

there's actually more people here than there normally would be.

'When prayers are finished, she'll make sure coffins, mourners and hearses

'are reunited in the right place at the right time.

'Easier said than done.'

The problem now is everyone comes out of prayer

and they try to locate their coffin and they're not quite sure who's who.

And they're literally just sort of running around trying to find their loved ones.

We're going to try and make sure that everyone gets to see their loved one, pay their last respects,

so we have to wait for most of the people to come out of prayer,

and then take the coffins into the viewing area so they can get that chance.

Or try.

The coffins will be brought out and taken into the hall here

where people get a chance to say their last goodbyes.

'Abib's coffin is on its way to the viewing room.

'Muslim funerals are communal events.

'Abib was part of the Somalian community in London

'and people who didn't even know him have turned up.'

We should have walkie-talkies at this point. It would be very useful.

'Outside, Moona's next challenge is getting the right coffin into the right hearse.'

The worst case scenario is you have families running out with their coffin going, "Where's the car?"

And the car's not at the front, it's at the back of the mosque.

And they go back through and you're thinking, "Oh!"

The idea now is to make sure the family knows who their driver is,

the driver then informs them where their car is,

and they actually get into the right car, and into the coach, as well.

I'm just going to double check with everyone now.

I did tell them at the front, and I think they've still gone to the back.

It can be quite confusing, right?

I did say at the front and they've just gone on a walkabout.

It's the white hearse just down there on the right. OK?

This one's your one. You got your papers?

'Non-Muslims attending funerals here for the first time

'can find it all a bit of a culture shock.'

I suppose anyone looking at it would think, "That's just organised chaos, how awful.

"It's not personal. If that was my mum, I'd hate that."

But people wouldn't have it any other way here,

it's what they're used to and it's acceptable and that's fine.

It's just normal round here. It's bizarre but normal.

'Denise Wales is living on borrowed time

'and carrying on with arrangements for her own funeral.

'She's visiting the crematorium chapel where her service will take place.'

You get a 40-minute service, the first service is nine o'clock in the morning

through to 3:40 in the afternoon, every 40 minutes.

'Phil Stevenson, the head of Leeds Cemeteries, is showing her round.'

You can tailor the service to suit your needs, really.

Yeah. And more so when you're doing it yourself. SHE LAUGHS

We don't get many people who do that.

There are more and more these days trying to do that.

Oh, mine's not by trying, trust me, mine's not by trying.

I don't really relish doing this but I've got to.

It's like a dream. But also a nightmare at the same time.

Because you literally think, what you're talking about and what you're discussing,

that you are going to be there when it all happens.

I'm terrified. I'm absolutely frightened to death.

But what can I do?

If I just keep that in my head,

the being frightened all the time,

then I'm just going to get weaker,

and I can't get weak, I still need to stay strong.

When I would go to meet a family, they would tell me about their loved one who's died

and I would put a eulogy together and speak about them.

'Denise doesn't want a priest to take her service

'so the choice is a non-religious humanist, or a civil celebrant.'

After leaving school, how about work?

Straight away. The Queens Hotel.

-The Queens Hotel?

-Yeah. Waitress. Silver-service waitress.

-Oh!

'She's chosen John Milan.

'As a civil celebrant, he'll let her bring some religion into the service.'

And would you like to include the Lord's Prayer also in the service?

-We're going to have a prayer, but only one.

-One prayer.

-Yeah.

And we're not quite sure which one it's going to be yet.

That's OK. We've got plenty of time. So I'll just put prayer with a question mark.

And... after you was diagnosed...

-..with cancer...

-Mm-hm.

-Erm...

-..how have you been since then?

-Still the same.

-You haven't changed?

-No.

-Good.

-Yeah. No.

-There's not a lot you can do about it, is there?

-No.

This will be unusual for me because I'll be taking a service for someone I've met and got to like.

'Motorcyclists are arriving from all over the country for Malcolm Frost's funeral.

'He'll even have his own police escort.'

30 years, we never fell out.

We used to have a good argument but never fell out and I thought the world of him.

Decent. Nice. Loved it.

Loved biking. Was a good man.

He's the best Blue Knight I've ever known.

He always wore his colours, even in Tesco.

Always wore his colours.

'Malcolm's bike club, the Blue Knights, have their own version of an afterlife.'

In the Blue Knights, there's a chapter called Heaven One.

He will never ever be forgotten because he's now a member of Heaven One.

'His widow, Audrey, will ride her own bike behind the hearse.'

Audrey, how are you feeling about today?

I'm trying not to feel today.

Just getting on with it.

Just trying not think about too much

and just appreciating all the love and support that I'm finding around me.

It's a shame he's not here. He'd appreciate it.

'Paul is loading up the coffin into his motorcycle hearse

'for the journey to the house.'

I think when somebody has died and they have no religion, they don't know God at all,

it's particularly important for them

that the funeral reflects the individual who died,

to help them get through it. I think you really have to work hard

to make that funeral as personal and precious as possible.

'At the crematorium, civil celebrant Evie Jesson has prepared a non-religious service.'

The music that they've chosen is Too Old To Rock And Roll, Too Young To Die, by Jethro Tull,

True Love Ways, by Buddy Holly,

and Wish You Were Here, by Pink Floyd.

-What do you think that says about the deceased?

-He's a rocker.

'The hearse has arrived at the house

'so friends and family can pay their last respects.'

So what we're doing right now is reminding folk of the deceased's life.

And there's a bit of camaraderie going on,

and it's helping them cope, it's helping them remember the way he used to be.

And the beautiful thing is they're all going to get to go for a ride out on their bikes again.

And anyone who didn't get the chance to say goodbye, this is their way to say goodbye.

I don't think there'll be a last blast,

because if you look carefully, there's a few cops right behind me.

Er, but certainly if we can shake them off somehow, we will.

HE LAUGHS

'It's now time for the cortege to leave for the crematorium,

'to give biker Malcolm Frost his final ride.'

He wasn't religious,

but I think he felt there was a spiritual aspect to life.

And he'd come to terms with...

..the spirituality

and he'd come to terms with the fact that

his life was at an end.

'Lesley Mottershead's funeral will be held at noon

'at St Mary's, a local Anglican church,

'followed by a burial at a nearby cemetery.'

We are entrusted with people's loved ones.

Erm, and we've got to look after them the best we possibly can.

-Do you always do this?

-I do, yeah.

Just to make sure that there's no bits on the coats,

I always brush or roller them down.

-There you go.

-Thank you.

'Before the coffin leaves for the church,

'Rochelle has one last job to do.'

The family have requested that I take a lock of hair off Lesley,

just so that Albert can keep it as a bit of a memento,

so I'm just going to cut some of Lesley's hair

and I'm going to put it in a little box that Albert's brought in

so that he can keep it. OK.

'Although they weren't regular church-goers,

'Albert wanted his wife to have a full Christian burial.'

I got the best off her, and the least I can do is give her the best.

I think she got the best.

Well, the best I could afford, any road.

I'm a Catholic, you know?

My wife was a Protestant.

But she didn't mind and I didn't mind.

I think you've got to have a funeral in church.

You go to a cremation,

they close the curtain and that's the end of it.

That's... their life gone. Everything gone.

There's nothing there.

With a funeral and everything, you know, the church...

..I can always go there, sit there and talk to her.

And I cry every day.

It's hard.

'Simon leads the funeral cortege down the street where Lesley lived.'

CHURCH BELL CHIMES

'It's very difficult to feel what they're feeling

'because we didn't know the person that's passed away,

'but you obviously empathise with them.

'You feel for them.'

CHURCH BELL CHIMES

'You get satisfaction because you've helped them

'through a part of their life that is a difficult part of their life.

'Just being there for people,

'helping them celebrate a life.'

Be careful as we go through the doorway, lads.

If you just keep going, it'll be fine. Yeah, keep going.

CHURCH BELL CHIMES

So we'll be in church about half an hour now

and then we'll make our way over to the cemetery.

-Will you stay outside or...?

-I'll go back inside in a minute,

just to make sure there's no hiccups, but there shouldn't be.

If you move this one in

and put the heart and the three wreaths down this side,

it'll balance it up.

'At a biker funeral like this,

'where they're all wearing their colours and showing their respect,

'it's very serious, the ride out here.

'It's not a frivolous thing at all. It's very, very serious.

'It's no different from watching a royal funeral, being escorted by our riders.'

As you probably know,

Malcolm didn't practise any particular faith.

And so, in accordance with his wishes,

this ceremony will not have any specifically-religious content.

It is more a celebration of his life

and the things that he did and achieved.

He went to school locally but was apparently a bit of a rogue.

Malc touched a great many lives.

He was fundamentally a kind, outgoing, laidback man

with a wicked sense of humour.

Once seen, he was never missed.

He will be lovingly remembered.

We will now listen to True Love Ways by Buddy Holly,

which says everything about what Audrey and Malc were to each other.

# Just you know why

# Why you and I

# Will by and by...

I'll miss you, mate.

Thank you for your friendship, support over the years

and thanks for some great memories.

However, this time I've got the last word.

So God bless you, brother,

and we'll meet up later. Thank you.

# Just you and I

# Know true love ways...

'Denise has finished arranging her own funeral

'and can return to enjoying the time she has left.'

'Doing what we've done today was comforting.

'And it was better than I thought it was going to be.'

# Sometimes we'll sigh

There you go, Dad.

'I was scared. I was petrified.

'But part of the way through it,

'I felt really comfortable.'

Take care and I'll see you when I see you.

This is where I'm coming. Part of me.

I'm having some with my dad,

and my plaque will go up here,

but the rest of me the girls want

and they want to put me in the garden

and have a headstone there in the garden for them.

I knew eventually one day I was going to come here.

But, erm... But, yeah, it's hard.

But I'm not scared, cos I know I'll be with my dad

and we'll be looked after together.

With a bit of luck, it'll be longer than they've said.

It's just meant to be.

But... never mind.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there, I do but sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow.

I am the softly-falling snow.

# How I wish

# How I wish you were here

# We're just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl #

Whether somebody is religious, non-religious, whatever they are,

what matters at the funeral is that it's absolutely meaningful,

that it's well thought through, that it's thorough and it's special.

It should be unique. That person was unique so their funeral should be unique.

And if you can get these things right, or as close to right as you can, that's a good funeral.

Great send off, I think.

'Lesley Mottershead's coffin has been brought to the cemetery for the burial.'

'When the coffin's lowered into the grave,

'suddenly everything's real

'and it does often get the better of people.

'I think it's the reality that the person's passed away,

'the finality of it,

'suddenly that's finished and they have to open a new chapter.

'And it's that last few minutes when the priest or the minister says the final prayers

'and the coffin's lowered into the ground,

'that's when everything often comes to a head for people.'

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes,

dust to dust.

In sure and certain hope of the resurrection...

'I think it went very well. I think we did what the family asked us to do.

'I think they sent their mum and wife off in the way that they wanted to

'and it was very well attended.

'So, all in all, successful.

'It was a sad funeral but a fitting farewell, I think, for the lady.'

'The Gardens of Peace is a Muslim cemetery on the outskirts of London.

'This is where many of Taslim's customers are laid to rest.'

I've buried, I don't know, over a thousand people in my life, I would say,

and I've seen some very tragic cases,

I've seen some very violent cases.

You may be healthy, you may be fine,

and then all of a sudden... that's it.

So I don't hold grudges long,

I tell people not to do that,

especially if it's with family and someone they love,

cos it might be their last argument.

But at the end of the day, I know it's there round every corner,

so... make every day count.

'The coach load of mourners help Gulam take Abib Madah to the graveside.'

Come round, yeah?

Down on the floor, on the floor.

On the floor. Come round here. Come round here.

'His body is taken out of the coffin.

'He'll be buried in his white shroud facing Mecca.'

Lift him up, please. Up.

OK, just hold it.

'The coffin will be taken back to Taslim's.'

What happens is, the body is laid in.

This way is Mecca. So the body has the back put against the grave here so it's facing that way.

And once they're in, these pieces of wood are laid over like that,

and then another one, and then another one,

so the earth doesn't go on top of the body

and the body is facing Mecca.

And the honour is, you see, for the family of the deceased,

if it's a man, for his brothers or his boys to do this.

If it's a lady, it's her sons or her husband even can do it.

To lay them and face them towards Mecca.

(SPEAKS ARABIC)

'There are no women here. They're not allowed to go to the graveside.

'It's believed that their weeping could upset the deceased and delay the departure of the soul.'

Can you move back, please? Can you move back, please?

The grave will collapse. Can you move back, please?

Move back, please. Move back, please.

'They want the body in the ground and covered with earth as quickly as possible.'

It's organised chaos.

That's what we call it here.

The main thing is, there doesn't seem to be any decorum,

any dignity about it, but that's the way it is.

They believe heaven starts in the grave.

So they just want to put this guy in the grave ASAP and fill in his grave and walk away,

and then they say God and the angels take over.

They want to fill it in themselves. They'd dig the grave themselves given the chance.

They're fighting over the shovels, as you can see.

Move back, please. We'll break it with a machine.

'There are no ornate headstones.

'Each grave looks the same.

'All Muslims are equal in death.'

Come everyone, please.

(ALL SPEAK ARABIC)

Death means the beginning of the new life.

They don't see death as the full stop.

They see death as the beginning.

And that's why, all over the world, Muslims are not frightened of death.

The everlasting life, the promised life.

So they look forward to it in a way.

'Next time, doing what's best for the living and the dead.

'A funeral photographer's pictures help the bereaved to move on.'

We photograph from the beginning. We have scans of babies.

We have teenagers, we have weddings.

But we don't have funerals. Well, why not? That's the end of the story. It's the closing chapter.

'But what do the undertakers do when religious rules upset the mourners left behind?'

-I want to see him.

-It's not my rules, it's Islam rules.

We just have to wait here and I'm not happy about that.

Gentlemen, would you like to come, please?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

.