Southampton to Mexico The Cruise: A Life at Sea

Imagine you've embarked on the journey of a lifetime -

a luxury cruise around the world.

I've done things, I've seen places that only people dream of seeing.

2,000 people are travelling some of the way,

but 400 lucky souls have signed up for the entire adventure.

SHIP HORN BLOWS

This, for me, is the culmination of a life's dream.

It sure makes your eyes water.

They'll be stopping at some of most beautiful

and exotic places around the globe.

TRAIN WHISTLES

ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

I think it's the most amazing thing ever.

But this all-inclusive package offers much more than sunshine

and sightseeing.

On this global odyssey, the passengers have their own vicar.

Welcome everyone to this very special and very happy occasion.

The ship is my parish and therefore I'm seeking to minister

to everyone on board whether they're believers or not.

Welcome to The Cruise.

January 2013.

The cruise liner, Balmoral, is getting ready to depart from Southampton.

She'll be home to guests, entertainers

and crew for the next 16 weeks.

Take the lift rather than lugging up the stairs.

The Reverend Colin Still is being seen off by one of his fellow chaplains.

You're near the medical centre so you'll be all right.

Yes, and the handicraft centre too.

Here we are.

He's a veteran of 30 cruises but you wouldn't know it.

Are we on the right one, Colin?

-Yes. And it's the starboard side.

-No.

-5043.

-It's the third deck.

-Oh, we're in five?

Oh, silly. That's silly.

Sorry about that.

'I like living by the sea and I like being on the sea.'

I think it gives an added dimension to my life, really.

-Yes, I just love travelling and meeting people.

-Hello.

-Do you know where you're going?

-No.

We've got those who are Christian, Hindus and Muslims

and quite a number of other religions.

They all know that I'm the priest on board

and I get enormous respect from them.

In the unlikely event of an emergency...

The average age of his flock is 69.

Staying healthy will be a big issue, not least for 77-year-old Colin.

This is all my medication, which is four months' supply.

Terrible.

But then most of the passengers will have a lot too.

Do you suffer from diabetes?

Yes, but I don't really suffer.

I've got diabetes 2 and it's diet controlled, so it's not a problem.

Thank you, very much and good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

How are you doing tonight?

Everybody's settled in and you have drinks, I can see.

-How are the drinks? Good, and free.

-LAUGHTER

That's even better, right?

Captain Stoica's crew should meet everyone's needs.

My name is Sue, I'm going to be doing the choir.

it's my first time doing this so please come and help me,

I need some help.

Good evening, everyone. It's the Reverend Colin Still.

I hope you'll come and give it a whirl and join me

as we worship God day by day as we go round the ship, around the world.

-Thank you very much, Colin.

-APPLAUSE

SHIP HORN BLOWS

As the 28,000 horse power engines roar into life,

Balmoral slips her moorings and glides elegantly into the Solent.

The world cruise covers 33,000 miles,

three oceans and 15 seas,

with 33 ports of call.

It's going to take 112 days to circumnavigate the globe.

And the first leg to Acapulco will take three weeks.

Good afternoon, everyone, welcome.

Can we just have a short little discussion about words.

Well, not really a discussion,

I'll just tell you what we're going to do.

Sue Alderson is a seasoned choir mistress

but a relative newcomer to the world of cruising.

'We went, last August, on a cruise of Norway

'and there was a choir on board.'

I was chatting to the lady and she just said, why don't you apply?

Why don't you have a go?

# I'm a nurse.. #

I was thinking, two weeks round the Med, that'll be really nice.

About two weeks later they rang to say

we'd like you to go on the world cruise in January, four months.

I'm like, oh!

She has ambitious and appropriate plans.

A full-scale production of The Pirates Of Penzance.

# Pirates... #

Some people are perfect for their roles.

# I am a pirate king

# Hurrah, hurrah... #

I was a Master at Arms in the Royal Navy, when I retired

after some 25 years of service.

and I've loved singing, which is why I'm here.

# Hey! #

But Gerald Toghill is less keen on homework.

So all I need you to do is just say them.

If I can read the words I'll do them,

but I'm not here to learn words, I'm hear to sing.

You don't have to learn them, just say them.

'I do have this nagging suspicion at the back of what

'passes for a mind'

that life is too short, on a cruise like this,

to be sitting in a cabin learning words.

Casting the female lead is more difficult.

Mabel is a young maiden and not many young maidens on this cruise.

Somebody's going to have to be brave here.

Sue, what about you?

Let's have Sue. Come forward.

# Poor wandering one

# If such poor love as mine

# Can help you find

# True peace of mind

# Why, take it, it is thine. #

Singing is something that gives you confidence

in the rest of your life. I think it's so good.

Now, is there anyone else, now that these brave people have done it,

somebody else will think "Oh, I'll have a go now"?

'It can take your mind off any troubles that you have

'and I think for that'

it's an excellent thing for people to do.

I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name.

Come on, Eileen.

Eileen! Eileen, right.

Don't worry about your sore throat and things, we'll see through that.

And...

# Poor wandering one

# If such poor love as mine

# Can help you find

# True peace of mind

# Why, take it, it is thine. #

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

-Would you do it for us?

-OTHERS: Yes! Yes.

The answer you're looking for is "yes".

-Is that what I'm looking for?

-Yes, Sue. Yes, Sue.

'You know what they say about a volunteer?

'He's a man who didn't understand the question!'

When we set out on a world cruise,

we've obviously got to come out of cold winter weather from Europe.

Then we set off south west towards the Caribbean,

then the ship is completely transformed because suddenly

it's like taking the lid off, and all the people come out and sit

on the sun beds, on the top decks and it's quite a different atmosphere.

I try to be available to everyone by being around

so they can approach me.

Sometimes, it takes me quite a long time

to get round the deck during the day.

I think that's why I do the early morning walk.

TANGO MUSIC

Each person's got a story, it's usually very personal stories.

And, yes, I learn quite a lot about a great number of people.

Honeymooners Bob and Viv Speding are madly in love.

Viv and I met about three years ago on a cruise

and Viv stood out because, to be honest, she was wearing

quite sort of funky gear, and was wearing some quite funky glasses

which really contrasted with most of the, fairly typical,

middle aged or elderly women that were on the cruise.

This is my honeymoon nightie so I'll quickly put that away,

because, you know, you still, you might be over 60 but,

you still have to, erm, you still enjoy cuddles.

There is no smiling in Tangos.

I suppose the only thing that I would say about Vivian

that could be broadcast,

is that she is absolutely amazing, physically,

for a woman of her age.

But the same can't be said for Bob.

I've met this marvellous man in the autumn of my life

and I don't want to lose him.

You know, we've got to enjoy life and make memories together

and I just want him to be a bit healthier because he isn't.

Bob has diabetes and weighs over 21 stone.

A lethal combination.

So Viv's challenged him to lose five kilos, before Acapulco.

Well, I'm walking along the deck as part of my regime

to lose a bit of weight.

I actually had an egg Florentine for breakfast today

so I'm going to do an extra lap.

This is the bows. You can see...

Oh, look, we're not far from land because we've got a bird.

So the walkers cross this corner here,

and if he wears a nice, bright colour I know it's him,

and all that lovely dark hair.

Oh, there he is! That's how I feel.

Just very much in love, actually.

So much so, it brings tears to my eyes.

I'm so lucky.

# Take heart, no danger lasts... #

Colin's always looking for ways to increase his congregation.

So, we're all speaking from the same hymn sheet as it were.

Colin's here. Can you just spare Colin for a minute or two?

He's a doctor of divinity.

# There's a doctor of divinity

# Resides in this vicinity

# For a doctor, doctor Resides in this vicinity

# This vicinity! #

APPLAUSE

Thanks for that.

I appreciate that not all of you want to come to the Sunday services

but there's a slot whenever you'd like to fill it.

# Doctor of divinity. #

The island of Madeira is Balmoral's first port of call.

An opportunity for everyone to stretch their legs.

This is my first time for doing a choir on board.

It's pretty hectic, those first two or three days.

I wondered what had hit me.

It's like...

Everyone's thoroughly enjoying it, and that's the most important thing.

-They seem to be.

-It's lovely sitting in the sun, feels so good.

-It's fabulous.

-What a contrast!

-Who would think? Who would think?

But Sue's worried about much more than the choir.

My mother, erm, she's got dementia so she's in a home

so that bit has been difficult yes, yes.

She had a fall and ended up in hospital for five or six weeks

and that's, kind of, taken all her muscles.

-Yes, and it takes a lot out of you.

-That's right.

Mum had a fall and she was in a, sort of, respite home

and she broke her ankle in three places.

She was in plaster for, oh, it was just awful,

-about ten weeks, but she came through it.

-Yes, yes.

Sue is the primary carer for her 93-year-old mum.

And she's never been away for so long.

There are a lot of people on board and most of them are very concerned

about their families, and, of course, there's an anxiety about

elderly people at home for those that are on board who have parents still living.

I'm a bit concerned about Mum.

Have you been in touch?

Well, I tried to get in touch by video link

but no signal.

It all just fell apart.

When I tried to ring, when we did have signal,

it's impossible to have a conversation because she's just,

"When are you coming home? When are you coming home?

"I can't cope without you."

-So it is anxious making.

-Yeah.

Let's hope she keeps going.

There is going to be the time, isn't there, when she will slip away.

-Oh, yes.

-But hopefully you'll be home when that happens.

I was lucky it happened with me

so we were able to be with Mum when she died, yeah.

800 miles west of Madeira, the captain has no choice

but to turn the ship around.

We have a medical emergency on board

and one of our guests needs to be immediately evacuated.

The boat never stops. It's going the same speed

and the helicopter is actually, it follows the boat

and it's done so well.

The line comes down, the guy comes down with all the equipment,

they've got the patient on the cradle or whatever it is,

and then they lift him up.

I was with her for about an hour.

The lady was travelling on her own.

She was having to take liquid morphine

because she was in such great pain.

She appreciated having someone sit with her.

She celebrated her birthday on Wednesday

and they brought her birthday cards.

She was most concerned about her teddy bear.

So, that had to be packed as well.

When there's a crisis on board it's always useful to have the chaplain

just to bring them some comfort in a way that, perhaps,

the other staff may not suggest that they say a prayer with a person

or gave them that sort of support that God was with them

to help them through a very tough time.

Balmoral is now 15 hours behind schedule.

One of the Caribbean stops must be sacrificed.

Unfortunately, Tortola will be cancelled.

I'm really sorry for that, but I hope everybody understands that

a medical emergency and saving a human life is top priority for us.

It's one of those things that happens at sea

and I think it's something we all accept, is that the human life element

is far more important than our pleasure and holidays.

We get the same time away, we lose a stop, but that's absolutely fine.

The captain was hoping to make up time

but there's bad weather ahead.

For the next couple of days we are looking into a low pressure,

which we can see it here in the middle of the Atlantic,

which is going to be moved more south

and is going to collide exactly with our course.

I think we've got next Sunday.

Oops!

Despite the stormy seas,

the choir have turned up at Colin's morning service.

# Hail to the Lord's anointed

# Great David's greater Son... #

The choir always lifts up the people and it makes worshiping God that much easier.

And I'm so glad that we've got Sue because she really does

inspire people and they contributed splendidly.

# ..to us in love. #

Viv's also come to seek advice on Bob's health.

I wonder might you have five minutes to spare?

-Yes, if you could hang on?

-Yes.

-Yes? That would be fine.

I understand, to everyone's surprise,

considering your nice flat tummy and svelte form,

that you are a diabetic.

We tend to assume diabetics are plump people.

Well, it's because they're plump they become diabetic.

It's the weight that is part of the problem.

Do you have, do you suffer from diabetes?

No, I don't but my lovely new husband does.

He is, he's very large.

'I think the biggest problem is, the buffets all look so good

'so you have a spoonful of one, a spoonful of another.'

These are my favourite - herring.

They're in a slightly sweet vinegar.

'By the time you know where you are, you actually have a plate

'that is piled high, looking a bit like Mount Etna

'or something like that.'

The important thing is knowing you've got to have exercise

and you've got to cut back on sweet things and cut back on food in general.

Hopefully, because I can see my toes now when I stand up,

which is a new experience for me for some time,

I feel that when I come to weigh myself,

that I will actually have lost at least a little weight.

Well, they say you should have breakfast like a king,

lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.

But we never do it that way round, do we?

The Balmoral has now crossed the Atlantic and the Caribbean.

And on day 19, arrives at one of the wonders of the modern age -

the Panama Canal.

It is an exciting moment for the passengers, of course,

it's a very spectacular view and as we are changing the oceans

after transiting the Panama Canal,

we are going to get into the Pacific Ocean.

The canal is a massive feat of engineering.

It's over 50 miles long and 7.5 million tones of concrete

were used in its construction.

When you think that was done about a 100 years ago,

it's absolutely amazing, the technological effort that was put into it.

This, for me, is the culmination of a life's dream.

I've done all the other canals,

but I've never managed to make this one in my naval career.

It cuts off that horrendous voyage around Cape Horn.

I've done that a couple of times, and I can tell you,

it sure makes your eyes water.

Just met some lovely, lovely people

and it's going to be really sad when some of them get off in Acapulco.

It's going to be really difficult.

The choir have three days to perfect The Pirates Of Penzance

so Sue is cranking up rehearsals and leading by example.

APPLAUSE

It's the top of the tide and we must be away.

No, no, no, we've got Ruth's song first.

'The Pirate King, he's my big teddy bear now.'

He's really come on, he's worked hard.

No. "But I'll be true". Stop, stop, stop.

Today, I fluffed my lines a couple of times.

-The dreadful month of September...

-February.

LAUGHTER

I can't help that, I'm a Cornishman, a bit thick.

OK, my dear, let's give it whirl.

Look for a space and go for it, pretend your playing netball.

'It was very tense. I had to be very bossy, I'm afraid,'

and say, "You're here, you there, do this, do that", whatever.

You must be down here because you're speaking.

Stop, stop, stop.

If I do that, if I'm pointing down, it's your low notes.

We got through, it was, it was tricky but we managed it, yeah.

Sue can forget her worries about the choir and her mum

on an excursion to Costa Rica.

I'm escorting today,

which means that I'm looking after my friends here

and we have to say "pura vida",

that means everything's good and pure life.

I have two missing.

You have two missing?

Oh, wow.

Never mind, it doesn't matter. We're on this one round here.

-Sue, you've got two of mine.

-Have I?

People are travelling for all sorts of reasons.

Some to get away from home and from some of the difficulties

they've had there, particularly widows and widowers.

Some have got real problems back home, which they can't leave behind

and they're in touch with their families day by day

and are concerned about folk that are ill, particularly elderly parents.

Can you see it? It's in those leaves.

When I travelled round in 2009, my mother was still alive,

she was 94, and I was always on tenterhooks the whole way round.

But I got home on the 27th May and she died a week later.

She had waited until I got home

and I shall be forever grateful for that.

At long last, Sue has got through to one of her daughters back home.

Can you see? This is amazing.

Oh, very well, thank you, very well.

Thanks for going to see Granny.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

It's a huge relief to know her mum's OK.

'Miss them so much, you do.'

You don't realise how far you are away

but it's lovely to be able to speak to them, it's lovely.

Bob and Viv are nearing the end of their honeymoon, and his challenge.

I think Vivian's more worried about me than I am myself.

I know that she is very concerned that I will die prematurely

and I suppose there is a chance of that.

Viv can't stand the stress.

I'm incredibly proud of him because it's not easy.

But I feel if he doesn't,

I'm not going to have him for very long,

because have you ever seen a man in his eighties of that size?

OK, well this is the moment of truth.

We'll see where we are now, so I'll leap on to the scales,

see if I can do it without breaking them - one of my favourite jokes.

We weighed before we left home

and he was 136 kilos naked.

It read at 132 kilos, which implies that I've lost four kilos

since we weighed on the morning of leaving Southampton.

That's nine pounds in weight, just over half a stone.

I'm just absolutely delighted.

And I would really love us to have as many years as possible together,

so it actually means an enormous, enormous amount.

I was encouraged to see how Bob and Vivian were tackling Bob's diabetes,

because it is a tough one and he needs all the support he can get.

I wish them well and I hope that I was able to encourage them.

It's the last day of the first leg.

With Acapulco just over the horizon, the pirates of Penzance are ready.

Har-har, Jim lad!

It is a bit scary.

All performances are because you never know what's going to happen.

500 people are jammed in for the show.

APPLAUSE

# I am a pirate king

# Hoorah, hoorah for the pirate king!

# Hoorah for the pirate king! #

'The success of the whole thing is inspiring them to go away'

and join a choir, go to performances of Gilbert and Sullivan,

just to open doors, and that's what would make me very happy.

# Then take it, it is thine. #

# Oh, we'll rise

# And be. #

I'm so proud of what they've done

and I just would just like, personally, to say a huge thank you

to all of you.

I shall never forget this experience.

Well, believe it or not, it's been the greatest fun.

Something went very, very wrong today.

I seem to have remembered all my words.

My voice did hold up, I didn't want to let everybody down

and I was really happy with it at the end.

Everyone was obviously very sort of buoyant and full of fun

so, brilliant, it really was.

The reverend was very informative and very helpful.

I feel less anxious after my conversation with him

and after Bob actually achieving what he set out to achieve.

I'm more in love with him every day

as I discover gorgeous things about him.

It's a lot to live up to. Perfection is a heavy weight to carry.

-I never said you're perfect.

-No, I know.

-I said, almost.

Balmoral has finally reached Acapulco

and the end of the first part of the world cruise.

500 passengers are leaving and 500 will be coming on board,

presenting a fresh challenge for Colin.

In the village at sea, the relationships are just passing.

You're meeting people for the first time

and although you do establish some relationship,

it's much more fleeting than it is in a parish at home.

On the next leg - food becomes a big issue.

You come on ship as a passenger

and you go off as cargo.

The amateurs get dramatic.

No, no.

The last run we did, well, it was dreadful.

And a married couple rekindle their love.

I want to thank you for being such a pain in the butt.

That's not actually what I shall say at the time!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd