Dubai to Southampton The Cruise: A Life at Sea

Imagine you've embarked on the journey of a lifetime -

a luxury cruise around the world.

I've done things, I've seen places that other people dream of seeing.

2,000 people are travelling some of the way

but 400 lucky souls have signed up for the entire adventure.

This, for me, is the culmination of a life's dream.

It sure makes your eyes water.

They'll be stopping at some of the most beautiful and exotic

places around the globe...

I think it's the most amazing thing ever.

But this all-inclusive package

offers much more than sunshine and sightseeing.

On this global odyssey,

the passengers have their very own vicar.

Welcome, everyone, to this very special and very happy occasion.

The ship IS my parish and therefore I'm seeking to minister

to everyone on board, whether they are believers or not.

Welcome to The Cruise.

Since leaving the UK,

Balmoral has travelled over 25,000 miles around the world.

She's now embarking on the final leg of her voyage

from Dubai to Southampton.

The Reverend Colin Still has been on board for the whole trip.

'Some people get a bit tired by the end of it.

'It's a long time and it just depends on the individual.

'Some just don't want it to end'

and others just get itchy feet to be on land again.

'As the Chaplain, I've plenty to do, so time passes quickly.'

Hello, Hans. I'm on my patrol today.

'It varies enormously, but most of the folk that are all-rounders'

are seasoned travellers and enjoy it.

We've done the Mediterranean a couple of times.

The best one, I think, was probably going around South America in 2008.

-That was wonderful.

-It was wonderful.

This is Christopher and Liz Glovers' first round-the-world cruise.

Well, I think it's amazing.

I don't think it's something we'll ever do again,

and Christopher's health hasn't been very good

so we're taking the opportunity now, while we're able to do it.

I was still in hospital the morning the ship left Southampton.

At ten in the morning I was still in Reading,

in the Royal Berks Hospital, so it was a tight run thing.

Anyway, he's looking much better, and that's the important thing.

And the staff, the doctor and the nurse, are very good.

He's been down to see them and he's doing all right.

It's like being on a great big old people's home on this ship, isn't it?

I probably shouldn't say that, but it is!

Well, a very good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

We've come together this morning for the preparation

for the Country Fayre,

and the opportunity for the passengers to volunteer to run

and set up the various stalls for it.

They're hoping to raise money

for orphanages in Thailand and the Philippines.

Last year we raised a fantastic amount of money,

over £13,000, we raised last year,

which was quite an amazing sum, so...

Cruise Director Anthony Borrowdale

and his assistant, Jennifer Delby, are in charge.

Everybody comes together to bring it on and make it happen.

It's a huge event and everyone knows how important it is.

What else have we got? Splat the Rat...

It's not a real rat, I have to tell you...

It's actually our 15th one, so it's a very special one, to be fair.

Ian Earnshaw and George Ailing are planning on playing the fool.

Every village has an idiot, but there's a pair on this ship!

Yeah, there's two of them on here!

Shall I wear it?

'I'm being all bandaged up and some blood over me...'

Hey, George, was that you I pinned?

'Ian's got these things that people pin on.

'I don't know what's going to happen, it's just a laugh'

and we're just going to make as much money as we can.

Drama Coach Carol Bunyan and Choirmistress Sue Alderson

are going down to Colin's cabin for a spot of gambling.

I'm going to do the fruit machine stall with Carol and Sue.

I'm a female bass. I'm sorry, I have my standards.

-Are we ready?

-And you mustn't laugh.

-No.

-Oh, why not?

-Deadly serious.

-No, no.

-Deadly serious, right.

-OK.

BELL RINGS ALL: Kerching!

THEY ALL LAUGH

It's a laugh.

The Cruise has arrived in Muscat, Oman,

where the Glovers are on a mission.

We're in the Muttrah Souk, which is one of the main markets of Oman.

And we came here originally two years ago.

When we came last time,

I took a photograph of a lovely elderly gentleman,

and we have the photograph to take back to him.

It's a big photo of him.

That's very nice but not just at the moment, thank you.

'Here's the picture.'

I thought he was a very good-looking and distinguished man,

and we will have a look and we will ask, and I'm sure,

because we've got the picture, someone will recognise him,

so that's what we are here for.

It would be lovely to give him the picture, wouldn't it?

So that's what we're hoping.

-There's a wonderful smell of incense.

-Oh, it's amazing, isn't it?

I think we've passed it.

Never mind, we will ask someone.

I shall be devastated if we don't find him,

having brought it all this way...

-..what about asking these gentlemen?

-Yes.

-Yes.

Ah-ha, where's the shop? Yes.

That's what I thought.

We will go and have a look. Thank you very much.

Thank you very much indeed.

That's wonderful, thank you so much, thank you. Thank you, thank you.

Some success.

We're looking for...Said bin Mohammed.

I took his photograph two years ago and I've brought it back for him.

-It's the next shop.

-Next shop. He's not here?

He's gone to Iran?

He's gone to Iran? His son is here.

It's the next shop, next door. He was sitting there, yes, he was.

-And is this your father?

-No, he's my sponsor.

-You're working with him?

-Yes.

So may we give that to you? Thank you very much.

-Oh, well, mission partially accomplished, anyway.

-Absolutely.

For the past two weeks, Captain Stoica has been navigating Balmoral

through an area infamous for piracy.

On this particular cruise, we have to pass by the high-risk area

which is mainly located in the Gulf of Aden.

And of course, passing through this area,

we have to take a lot of precautions and arrangements,

to make sure we don't have any unwanted incidents.

Balmoral's now heading into the Red Sea and out of the danger zone

when they have their first encounter with pirates.

Welcome to our Pirate Party on the poop deck.

We are now safely through the high-risk, transit area

without any problems whatsoever.

So can we have a round of applause for our security team, please.

Come on, come this way.

# Ole, ole, ole, ole...#

After three - hip-hip... Hooray!

..hip-hip... Hooray!

..hip-hip... Hooray!

I'll see you dancing on the dance floor, folks.

Enjoy the party. Thank you!

# Feeling hot, hot, hot... #

It creates a bit of excitement. We all had these navy hats

and had some rum punch and danced my head off.

This rum punch kept coming.

It wasn't weak either, and I had a few glasses!

It was a great afternoon. I slept well that night!

# So we go rum, bum, bum, bum

# Yeah we rum, bum, bum, bum

# Ole, ole, ole, ole

# Ole ole, ole ole

# Yeah we rum, bum, bum, bum

# Yeah we rum, bum, bum, bum

# Feeling hot, hot, hot

# Feeling hot, hot, hot...#

Well, we came into the Suez Canal this morning at about 4am,

and so I arranged not to have a service

because a lot of the passengers would want

to be out on deck watching as we go through.

# It's a watercolour morning

# Get your paintbox and your paper

# While the sun comes round. #

I'm painting these little pen and watercolour pictures

of places we have been to for the country fayre

and I hope they will sell in some form and that money will go towards

these orphans, which will be lovely.

I find I have to do this outside, you can't get the light indoors.

It's lovely to sit out here in the open

with the Suez Canal going past,

which is extraordinary, isn't it? It seems such a long, long time

since we went through the Panama Canal.

We have the Queen Victoria behind us, a Cunard ship.

We're in a big convoy,

and quite extraordinary to think that at the other end

when we get to Alexandria,

we're going to be back in the Mediterranean.

We've been to so many seas, so many seas.

Every time I see these masses of sand,

I think of my dad who was in the RAF

in 8th Squadron which was in Khormaksar in Aden,

down the road from here.

And when I was a very small child

he would talk Arabic, so if he wanted me to come in

from playing in the garden it was, "Fisatalle, Camilla, fisatalle."

And I thought that was English

and in the playground I'd go "Camilla, fisatalle."

And I had the whole of West Court Primary School talking half Arabic,

but I always think of Dad when I look at all the sand.

Balmoral has docked in the Egyptian port of Alexandria.

We've come to El Alamein, where there are over 7,000 graves

of the Allied forces that died here at that battle.

It's a special place for many people

and one of our passengers has come who fought here,

which is a very moving moment for him.

It's moving for me

because my father served in the Royal Engineers in North Africa.

But he then joined the forces

going across to Sicily and then to Italy.

And he was killed in September 1944 just outside of Rimini.

I don't have many memories of my father

but I can remember being in an Anderson shelter in our garden

and I can remember sleeping down there and him being there...

we were as a family, all huddled up,

spending the nights there when London was being...bombed.

I was nine when my father was killed,

and just to add to the pain of it all,

my sister and I had been evacuated to a house in Leicester

and so the landlady there was the one who told me that my father had died.

They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old.

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them.

ALL: We will remember them.

The passengers and crew have rallied together to produce

all sorts of things for the country fayre.

I've done these paintings. They're all places we've been to.

A couple of camels.

SHE LAUGHS Hey! That's great!

I've never done camels before.

The colours are lovely in it, really nice.

I gave them to Jennifer and she liked them very much,

and to my surprise they're going to auction them,

and we just hope they sell.

We've got so many premium lots, you see,

so I think it will be a big event.

She's shown them to some of the ladies

and they were all very enthusiastic.

This is my favourite. Yes. They're so colourful.

They look better than yesterday's camels!

It's only an ego boost if they sell!

It's very embarrassing if they don't, so let's wait and see.

I'll be very nervous on the day, yes.

I'll probably stay in my cabin while the auction's on.

Thank you very much. Congratulations to you all

and thank you very much for the huge efforts.

Let's have fun, and let's raise as much money as we can,

and now, officially, I declare the country fayre open.

CROWD CHEER

In a parish, invariably, you have a country fayre or a fete

in the summer, it's a tradition,

and in my parish, I always had a tea party for the over-sixties.

Just be careful!

It is a great atmosphere!

A highlight for me would be

Jamie's chest waxing - that was definitely one to remember.

If anyone wants to put any cash in, be very brave.

ALL: Ohhh!

'And if you'd have seen his face, his face...'

-and the pain...

-And his chest was as red as a beetroot after.

I suggested they pull the wax

and they pull it up very slowly, but that didn't go down very well.

Oh, my God! OH!

That one hurt!

One person, only one person got the rat today.

The fruit machine seemed to go really well

and they raised an awful lot of money.

Having practised it, we were efficient at it.

Ker-ching! Ker-ching! Ker-ching!

We had a great afternoon. My arm is aching

because it's really quite hard work, but yes, it was very good.

This type of day

when you are working side by side with the guests, it's lovely.

'It's just... You can't compare it to any of the other days,

'it's just a very special day.'

I might have one, though!

We know where that might be!

I am buzzing because it's gone so well today, it really has.

We've raised an awful lot of money

and it's all thanks to the volunteers here on Balmoral,

and of course the staff and the crew have done fantastic

so I'm very, very happy with today.

But the fundraising hasn't finished yet.

In the Neptune Lounge, Lizzie's paintings are up for auction.

These were all painted along the way on our grand voyage.

So we'll start off, then, with Havana, Cuba.

£10, who's going to give me £10? £10.

10 in the back, looking at 10, looking at 15.

£15 down here, £20 down here, looking at £25.

Who's going to give me £25? £25 down here, looking at £30.

It's at £25, going once, going twice.

-30!

-£30, 30 at the back there.

Going once, going twice, sold to you, sir. £30.

Congratulations, well done.

They seemed to like my art, didn't they?

I think it's because it's places that people have been to

and they recognise them, so that always works well, I think.

£50, OK. Going once, going twice.

£55, OK. It's going to be a long night.

OK, it's at 55, looking for 60.

I think the most popular one was the camels. Lots of people said

to me, "I would like to buy a camel"

so I should have done lots of camels probably!

£45, £50 we have. Do we have £55?

Going once, going twice,

sold to you for £50, thank you very much.

I'm so relieved they're all gone because it's so

embarrassing if you sit there, and nobody wants them.

Anyway, they have, and that's lots of money for a very worthy cause.

That's good.

All in all, the fayre made over £8,000 for the orphans.

It takes 500 dedicated crew

to keep Balmoral ship-shape and Bristol fashion.

But at the end of the trip, they swap their mops for microphones

and their drinks trays for tambourines in the crew show.

People just standing and greeting you,

they're cleaning the swimming pools and things like that,

you know, you never realise that these people know how to dance.

Hostess Juliet Taco is putting the show together.

It's always the height of the cruise.

Everyone, even the crew loves it, and I think it's really good

because they could express themselves when they do a show, the crew show.

And they're not the only ones rehearsing.

# Summer lovin', had me a blast... #

For their final show,

Sue's choir will be performing songs from Grease.

'It's all going really well, we're up now,

'this will be our fifth big concert.'

# Summer sun, something's begun

# But oh oh the summer nights...

'You've got to put on'

a good performance, it's got to be something really quite special.

'It's hard work, it has been hard work, but amazing all the same.'

# Greased lightning

# Go

# Greased lightning, go greased lightning... #

Balmoral's leaving her last port of call, Gibraltar,

and heading for home.

This week has gathered momentum as we get nearer to England,

and there are lots of activities and also, beginning to have to say

goodbye to people, because when we get into Southampton,

everything happens at once and you regret afterwards

not having said goodbye to some of the people

who you've spent a lot of time with on the ship.

It's good to see you this afternoon and it's our last service together,

because I shall be leaving the ship on Saturday.

It's a sad moment for me to have to say goodbye,

it's been lovely to know you,

and I shall be remembering you and especially your little girl.

Yes, Mica.

'They have been regularly to all the services,

'they are just a delightful couple and it's been lovely knowing them.

I certainly will remember them in my prayers,

cos I know it's never easy,

especially as they're not leaving the ship until October.

-Thanks, then. Goodbye.

-Bye bye.

Some passengers have formed friendships

that will last well beyond the cruise.

You know when you meet somebody, first time you think,

"I like him."

'There's something there, a chemistry, if you know what I mean,

'and that's what me and George have got.'

I'm lashed with repellent. It'll even keep Maureen away from me!

He's a bit loud, but without that loudness, that's not Ian.

World champion!

Oh! On the line!

'He's coming up to me'

-and I'm going to take him round York, so he can taste some good beer.

-Yeah.

Because what he's got down there, he's got some rubbish down there.

I'm going to get him to taste some jellied eels.

I can't imagine me eating jellied eels, I just...

You'll try it, I'll make you try it.

Tonight, it's the dinner for what we call the all-rounders,

people who have gone all around the world

from Southampton to Southampton and have sung in the choir

on all five legs of that journey.

CUTLERY CLINKS

I really want to express my enormous appreciation to you all,

for the contribution you've made to my ministry on board.

It really has been a real pleasure and honour

to work with such lovely people, and so it's just a huge thank you

to all of you for everything that you've done,

for all the effort you've put in and all the support you've given,

to the choir.

To friendship, which I think is really important.

To friendship.

Everyone's packed into the Neptune Lounge

for the most popular show of the cruise.

A very good evening, ladies and gentlemen, good evening!

And a very, very warm welcome to you all here in the Neptune Lounge,

a night lots of you look forward to, because tonight

it is our Crew Show - all the nice girls love a sailor, is that right?

We're about to find out if that is true.

We welcome members of our deck team!

MUSIC: "YMCA" by the Village People

# It's fun to stay at the YMCA. #

'All the staff from all round the ship, absolutely fantastic.'

Absolutely fabulous. I love the Gangnam Style!

MUSIC: "Gangnam Style" by Psy

As you can see in the crowd, they all go mad and whistling,

and clapping and singing along.

As well as organising the show, Juliet's also performing.

# I pray you'll be our eyes

# And watch us where we go

# And help us to be wise

# In times when we don't know... #

It's been superb, oh, I loved it.

You saw all the people standing -

a standing ovation, that says everything, completely.

APPLAUSE

They're amateurs, and yet they put on such a professional show.

Thank you, thank you very much.

-Very, very good.

-Thank you.

Goodbye!

'It's a strange ministry, and different from a parish at home,

'because a parish at sea, we are very transient, but we have shared

'a pilgrimage together, a journey, and shared experiences

'and shared time together. But we feel sad that we are all parting.'

# Go, greased lightning

# Go greased lightning

# Go, greased lightning

# Go greased lightning

# You are supreme

# The girls'll scream

# For greased lightning... #

I'm going to miss them, I am, I'm going to miss them a lot,

I think everyone's ready to go home.

# Wam bam a lama a bam bambam boom. #

I've just being saying tonight, we do want to keep in touch

because we've gone through so much together,

had so many amazing experiences and adventures,

great friendships have been made and I'm sure a lot of them

will continue, which is really nice.

# We'll meet again... #

After four months at sea

and having travelled 33,000 miles,

Balmoral is back in the Solent.

We've been to 20 countries

and we've visited 33 ports, that's quite a mammoth journey.

Some of the passengers probably will be happy to go home

some would like to continue with us and probably, they will.

For us, this is a normal turnaround day - new passengers coming,

new crews who will stay on board for another cruise

and this is how the life goes on.

# ...we'll meet again some sunny day

# Keep smiling through... #

Till next time, bye bye.

It's been a wonderful holiday, an absolute trip of a lifetime.

Really, it's been so good - it's been marvellous, it really has.

-Bye, darling, I'll be in touch.

-See you soon.

Love to you all.

Where do you want to go, front or back?

LAUGHTER

Goodbye.

I'm going home.

# I was singing this song

# We'll meet again

# Don't know where, don't know when

# But I know we'll meet again some sunny day. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd