Lost in Translation Bangkok Airport

'This is Bangkok International Airport, you're clear for landing.'

Bangkok airport is like no other airport on earth.

-Welcome to Thailand.

-This is my best smiling.

It's where east meets west...

-Ching, ching, ching. Ching, ching, ching.

-..Buddhist meet backpacker.

-That way to the beach.

-..and traveller meets trouble.

-You'll never see me in Thailand ever again.

-No, no.

-Yes.

-And if the culture seems strange...

-Free hugs?

-..the language seems foreign...

-Sawatdee ka.

-..and you're 6,000 miles from home...

-I'm stuck in Bangkok.

Don't panic, there's an army of airport staff

just waiting to help you out.

-One way...

-How may I help you?

-HE LAUGHS

-..or another.

-Get in the line.

So whether it's your gateway

to a million once-in-a-lifetime experiences...

It's all about love, love, love and love.

..or just a ticket to a good old-fashioned holiday nightmare...

-Look at all the cancelled flights.

-..this is your final call.

-Very happy, everyone.

-Welcome...

-Passport please.

..to Bangkok Airport.

This programme contains some strong language

'At the arrival hall on the second floor.'

With its helpful staff and world-class signage,

Bangkok airport prides itself on being one of the most

tourist-friendly airports in the world, but not today.

I'm feeling lost in translation.

All hell breaks loose at Police HQ when Louise loses her daughter.

You told me to shut up. OK? When my daughter was missing.

There's confusion in customs as Elena tries

-to bring in her cat.

-How long you stay here, ma'am?

SHE MUMBLES

She is extremely drunk.

And there's queue jumping in immigration till

Captain A leads a crackdown.

Sometimes you need to be tough when you deal with some passengers.

Back in the line.

A monk loses his sister, a Geordie loses his juggling stick...

So this is actually happening now.

..and everyone's feeling lost in translation.

Customs is where so many misunderstandings can arise.

Across 34 checkpoints, travellers are asked to empty their bags

under the keen gaze of customs officers.

Anything to declare?

Like Officer Poppy.

Communication to passengers is very, very important

because if you misunderstand what

they want to tell you, it's going to be bad.

Do you have anything to declare?

-Nothing to declare?

-No, no.

-Nothing to declare, green light, please.

Poppy and her team have to watch out for anyone bringing in

anything unusual, and they've seen it all.

Luckily they've got their hi-tech X-ray machines to flag up any

threats to the country.

This one is a Kit Kat and I believe that it's a green-tea Kit Kat.

We see a lot of drugs, we see ivory, we see rhino horns.

Today, Christian has flown in from Nigeria with a big bag

of white powder. It's enough to raise Poppy's suspicions.

What do you have, sir?

-It's spicy?

-Yeah, I don't need to declare this.

SHE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

-This one...

-What kind of powder is it?

-This one is flour.

A flower, eh? Poppy's heard that one before.

OK, take this and those to the X-ray machine, please.

The X-ray machine will help Poppy get to the bottom of this.

The orange represents organic products.

If there are some type of drugs it will turn a green colour.

All right, thank you so much.

Happy the white powder really is flour,

-Poppy lets Christian go with smiles all round.

-Bye-bye, now.

-Yeah, bye.

You have two allow them to do their work.

I mean, you don't need to argue with them.

You give them the freedom. If you are free, you are free.

If you are not free the law will get hold of you, that's it.

SHE SPEAKS IN THAI

Finding a common language is a big help.

Either that or downloading an app.

Normally people travelling can speak English but some might not

and we cannot speak all kinds of languages.

So we try to use our technology to communicate to passengers.

But all the technology in the world won't help Officer Phu

-with her next case.

-How long you stay here, ma'am?

SHE MUMBLES

Elena's flown in from Moscow with her friend Natalya

and a cat. It's a present for Elena's son, Alexei.

They are Russian.

-She is extremely drunk.

-Oh, my case go...

-This is present?

-My son.

SHE MUMBLES

You pay duty for 1,000 Thai Baht.

-No problem. OK.

-OK.

Thailand has fairly relaxed quarantine restrictions on pets

so after a quick trip to the cashpoint for the £19 duty fee,

-Elena's pussy is free to enter.

-And your receipt, wait a moment.

The ladies pay the bill and go in search of Elena's son.

-OK, bye.

-Thank you.

Son...

MUSIC: Chandelier by Sia

Shh, shh.

Alexei can't wait to play with his new pet.

You know, when you come back

and there is something like alive near you,

like something that you can play with, like cheer up.

It means a lot for you, for everybody.

Not all misunderstandings can be sorted out

as easily as Alexei's new cat.

Over in Departures, Louise has requested the help of airport

officials after she missed her flight home to Paris.

They didn't let me get on the plane, I need to get on the plane.

The plane left without her after an altercation

at the gate and what's worse, her daughter Lilia has now vanished.

You get to the gate, you go through security, and your kid disappears.

It's relief all round when her daughter turns up.

This is my daughter. That's her passport, I found her bag.

And basically they made me get off the gate, right?

But Louise is unhappy with how an information assistant

spoke to her when she was searching for Lilia.

She comes to the Tourist Police HQ to confront the officer.

-You told me to shut up.

-No, no, no.

-You told me to shut up.

-One minute, one minute.

-You told me to shut up.

-No, no, no. Calm down.

-I call, I call.

-You told me to shut up.

-No, no, no.

-Yes. Yes, no.

She's lying, she's lying. You're lying.

This is wrong. This is wrong. No.

No!

-You told me to

-BLEEP

-shut up. OK? When my daughter was missing.

As they missed their original flight,

Louise needs to find another one to get her and Lilia home.

The staff give her a list of outgoing flights.

Every day doesn't really work for me.

That's fine, can I have the boarding passes? Thank you.

-But something gets lost in translation.

-And you buy the ticket.

No, I'm not buying the ticket.

Because I already paid for my ticket. Right?

I paid for my ticket and they took me away from the terminal.

This is your responsibility. I don't care.

Gulf Air, Air France, American Airlines... Whatever it is.

I need a boarding pass and I need to get back to France.

I don't understand why this is happening. I just don't... Sir?

Boss man?

The boss man of the Tourist Police is Sub Lieutenant Nilachart,

a man with a reputation for plain speaking.

Police cannot do everything.

So I don't have any money, I don't have a boarding pass.

Are you drunk?

-Sorry?

-Are you drunk?

-No, I'm not drunk.

-Hmm?

I'm telling you about my problems and you're asking me if I'm drunk?

-I'm not drunk, sir. I'm crying.

-You have a whisky before?

-No.

-Some whisky before?

-No.

-You look like you're drunk.

-I cannot to help you, miss.

-I don't understand why this is happening.

Right?

He just walked out on me.

SHE SOBS

With no money and no ticket,

looks like Louise and Lilia are stuck at Bangkok Airport.

-I'm crazy. I'm just

-BLEEP. BLEEP

-assholes.

Bangkok Airport calls itself the airport of smiles

but don't be fooled. To run smoothly an airport needs rules

and no-one loves rules more...

Get in the line.

..than Captain A.

You're for this line or that way.

I don't want all the passengers to expect that we will always

smile all the time.

Sometimes you need to be tough when you deal with some passengers.

The airport has more than 200 passport-control checkpoints.

It's Captain A's job to keep the queues moving

and the tourists in line.

Back to the line. Back in the line.

For captain A, the rules are simple.

If you're caught pushing in, you go right to the back.

It's not rocket science to get in the line. So why do you do that?

It's not acceptable. Not at all.

Captain A bends the rules for no man.

-Sorry?

-And that includes Peter, from Norfolk.

-Where's your wife?

But anyway, sorry, she's already passed the line.

-That way, sir.

-Pardon?

-Just get back to the line.

The rules are rules. You need to get in the line

and I do have zero tolerance for the passengers

who don't follow the rules.

Zero tolerance.

-I've got to go to the back?

-Yes, of course.

My wife is there, she's got my passport. She has my passport.

OK, I can give you your passport. No, that's fine because...

I've been waiting for him.

Yes, I do understand but I cannot answer the question

to those passengers why I cut the line for him.

I don't think they're worried too much. Just one person.

-I've been to the toilet. I had to go to the toilet.

-He had to go quickly.

Yes. But anyway, how can I answer the question...

I'm not going all the way round there again.

Please, that way.

-Please, let me in.

-Please.

After a short stand-off, Peter makes a tactical retreat.

MUSIC: Bossy by Kelis

I gave way in the end.

I thought I might be sent to the prison cell or something.

For the passengers who do that, they don't like me.

But for the rest of the passengers who are still in the line,

I think they love me.

Not everyone has to go to the back of Captain A's queue.

Thailand is a Buddhist country.

Monks are always passing through the airport and special rules apply.

The monk, he's a representative of the lord Buddha.

And for the rules for the Buddhists, we can pay respect to the monk

but we cannot touch the monk at all.

Untouchable.

Monks are even fast-tracked through immigration

which is where the trouble began for Din Pala from Cambodia.

His sister, Sok, got left behind in the queue and now she's disappeared.

Tourist Officer Panya is assigned to the case.

First stop is immigration where Sok was last seen

but they arrive too late.

Next stop, baggage reclaim.

But no luck here, either.

Go outside.

-Do you have a meeting point with her outside? Do you have?

-No, no.

It's difficult to find.

Difficult, difficult because she no phone, cannot speak English.

And Thailand, everywhere she go with me.

Having reached a heightened state of consciousness

through many years of meditation, Din Pala has an idea.

He'll give her a poke on Facebook.

Back at Police HQ, the officers get his Wi-Fi working

and discuss the case.

This? Yes.

Din Pala gets connected but he's no nearer finding his sister.

But she is not online. If she is online I can contact her.

But now maybe she's no internet.

So they're off again but with 80,000 people passing through

the airport every day, Din Pala starts to lose faith.

Maybe I lost her. Maybe I lost her.

But just as hope fades, he spots his sister.

Much to Panya's amazement.

Wow!

Sok's in the queue at the mobile phone shop.

She was trying to get a new SIM card so she could call him

but now there's no need.

I think he is excited.

And glad to see his sister.

This is my sister that... I lost her but now I meet her.

Thank you so much for all the way go with me

and face my accident.

Thank you so much. And Panya Police, thank you so much.

In the excitement, Panya nearly forgets the no-touching rule.

But no harm done, it's another result for the Tourist Police

and it's back to HQ for a team photo.

Getting lost in translation is just one of the hazards

of international travel. Doing yourself a mischief is another.

Bangkok airport can sometimes resemble a warzone,

with doctors treating 700 patients every week.

The latest casualty is British backpacker Hannah.

She's been sent down from check-in

where they didn't like the look of her cast.

I fractured my leg about five days ago in Vietnam.

I was going canyoning.

I was doing a cliff jump at the end and you're supposed to run

and jump over the ledge.

I ran and then I stopped and then I fell and tumbled

and I landed and put all my weight on my leg.

-'Are you OK?'

-I'm due to fly out home today to London and they need me

to get a medical certificate to say that I'm OK to fly.

The fit-to-fly certificate should be routine

but Hannah's cutting it a bit fine.

Today's decision...

-Sawatdee krap.

-..lies with Dr Art.

-How are you?

I'm OK, thank you.

Many sick people want to travel but they don't know the rules.

When you travel by air there is a risk if you have medical problems.

You have to make sure that everything is OK before flying.

-How long has it been?

-Five days.

Five days? Did you fly a long fight?

Communication is very crucial for the treatment

because if it goes wrong, it goes wrong.

Normally if you have a cast we recommend to split the cast

-because it might be swollen.

-OK.

If it's swollen it can cause, you know,

compartment syndrome which is, you know, you might lose you leg.

The thing is, we cannot cut it here.

You have to go to the hospital but it takes only 20 minutes there

-and then you have to come back. Yes, you will still have time.

-Yeah.

Yeah. Because if you fly like this I'm afraid that it will be bad.

Well, I just really want to get there as quickly as possible.

-So that I can fly.

-Yeah.

Well, hopefully they're going to take my cast off really fast but

it just depends on traffic whether I can get to the hospital in time.

Really, really want to get on this flight.

Has anybody told them that I'm coming? Yeah? OK, OK.

We can get a taxi.

The hospital's only 14 miles away but Bangkok traffic can be slow

-and Hannah doesn't know the Thai for "Get a move on".

-Maybe go faster.

Because...

Because I've only got like less than two and a half hours now.

Go, go, go!

# I don't care. #

I don't have any luggage.

How long will it take?

-OK.

-If Hannah's to stand any chance of boarding her fight,

she's got to get across town, get the cast cut and get

back to the airport, preferably while the plane's still there.

Making yourself understood is one of the biggest challenges facing

-tourists and staff.

-You can't speak English?

In a cosmopolitan airport like Bangkok,

avoiding communication cockups is a constant battle.

Over at Tourist Information, Officer Jibbydoo is on the front line.

How may I help you?

For me, talking to Indians is a bit hard because their accent,

their pronunciation and their accent is a bit hard for me to understand.

HE SPEAKS THAI

British, Americans, Australia and New Zealand are OK.

And if no-one on the desk speaks your language,

-there's a translation service at the end of the phone.

-Par Ruski!

-Par Ruski.

-But even that doesn't always help.

-What do you want?

And even if you speak perfect English,

things can still get lost in translation.

This almost looks like Durban.

Toya and Ali were due to fly home to South Africa today till

they got a message from their airline.

They were like, "Your flight is cancelled" so we were like,

"What are we going to do?"

And we called them and they were speaking in Thai

and we were like, "Oh!" It was quite something!

But then they made a plan for the flight to be rescheduled

to tomorrow so hence, hey, another day in Bangkok.

But another day in Bangkok means another night

so they need to find their airline's desk to help arrange a hotel.

There's a big question mark hanging over the information desk

which is kind of fitting because Toya and Ali

are about to get lost in pronunciation.

-Office...

-Office on the first floor, downstairs, gate number eight.

Gate number eight. Kop Khun Khrap.

It seems like he knew what he was talking about

so I think we are in good hands.

Or are they?

Down on the first floor there's no sign of their airline desk anywhere.

Hello.

-Over there, please.

-Sorry?

-Over there, please. I think over there.

-Over there?

-Yes, Qatar Airways, over there.

-That direction.

-But they've already been over there and it wasn't there.

Oh. First floor... Is it B? Is it B?

-That's what it says, on the first floor.

-Wait... It's not simple.

But hopefully we'll find it.

-Eventually the penny drops.

-Oh.

So, yeah.

Back on the fourth floor the girls soon find the Cathay Airways desk.

It's been there all along.

They can enjoy an extra night in Bangkok

after their free tour of the airport and a long lesson in clear diction.

Maybe we just have to learn to say it better.

It must be something like that.

Cathay!

Cathay! Cathay. Cathay?

Over in customs, Officer Poppy is logging all the booze

she's confiscated from passengers who've exceeded their allowance.

But in an airport like Bangkok, that's not as easy as it sounds.

And how can I write down this because it's all Chinese letters?

I believe it's a liquor. Sake.

But it's written in Chinese and I couldn't read it

but I have to do the list so I don't know what I'm going to do with this.

OK, next time could you please...

in English a little bit?

But it's not just liquid spirits that Poppy has to look out for.

For years, the customs staff have believed that the storage area

in the basement is haunted.

Sometimes you might hear some noise that you cannot explain

or things happen that you cannot explain. It's just like belief.

Legend has it that someone fell into the concrete as it was being

poured leaving an eerie outline of a face in the pillar.

He said to me it looks like a lady but I don't get it yet.

According to Officer Kriengsak, the face can be clearly seen.

Poppy's not sure but just in case, the staff created

a small shrine where they leave gifts.

We pay her respect by just giving her jewellery

and we think that she loves it.

And just occasionally the pillar gives back.

The one who asks for the lotto number, he or she won the lotto.

Up in Departures, Louise could do with some divine intervention.

She and daughter Lilia missed their flight home to Paris

after a row at the gate.

The Tourist Police can't help her so she's refusing

to leave the airport even though it's driving her nuts.

I'm feeling like I'm going to die.

I just want to pass out and disappear.

You know, like, I haven't slept. I'm so tired.

Haven't eaten, you know...

I don't know what to do.

Louise calls her airline and asks for a free flight

but it sounds like they're not listening.

340 euro to get on the plane?

It's so much money, I'm a student.

I don't have travel insurance.

Please, you've got to help me.

Can you please put me on that plane?

Please. I'm going to die here.

'Then he said that I should try to go and speak with'

the information desk and that I should've called them earlier

and go to the French embassy and...

That now basically he can't do anything,

I have to talk to these people at four o'clock tomorrow.

With their pleas apparently falling on deaf ears,

Louise and Lilia face another 24 hours at Bangkok Airport.

We last saw Hannah racing to a Bangkok hospital to have her cast

split open but she's got less than two hours to sort it all out

before her flight takes off.

But the doctor's nowhere to be seen

and she can't communicate the urgency of her situation.

Thinking the clock is ticking and no-one's doing anything.

There's the saw right there,

I could just do it but I don't want to slice my leg off so...

But, yeah, I just feel really worried that

it's not going to happen.

After 40 long minutes, the doctor finally comes.

And goes.

But only to get Hannah's X-ray results.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-Good, thank you.

-OK.

-So I have to split the cast off.

-Yeah.

-Your flight is leaving...?

-11.15, yeah.

-OK.

-Really soon.

-Very soon.

-Thank you for doing it quickly.

-During the procedure, I would like you to relax, OK?

-OK.

And it may cause some noisy and some heat inside...

-OK.

-Just relax.

SAW WHIRLS

HANNAH SCREAMS

That hurt! I felt that. I felt that.

Oh, my God. This is awful.

Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you.

Let's go. Go, go, go. Fast!

Medical certificate in hand...

Thank you very much.

..it's a race back to the airport.

Go faster, please go faster.

I need to get there.

I could walk faster than this.

So I need to go to the airport really fast.

Go, go, go!

I have to be at the airport in the next few minutes

so if we could just go, that would be really good.

Come on!

I feel like I'm going to throw up.

Oh, my God. I bet they're closed. Oh, shit, shit, shit.

Do you work here?

Can I...? Have I still got time?

Wow.

Looks like I might be getting on, I hope.

I'll believe it when I'm on there. I will.

I feel like I'm so close though,

I can't possibly not get on the flight.

With only seconds to spare, Hannah makes the gate.

It's her first lucky break of the holiday.

In immigration, they're bracing themselves for rush hour

with airlines from over 60 different countries flying into Bangkok,

clear communication is vital.

Luckily Captain A can send people to the back of the queue

in several different languages.

SHE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE

But she always finds time to answer passengers' questions patiently.

No, that's for China, Chinese.

Working under Captain A today is Captain Sarik.

Passport, please.

He makes a point of greeting passengers in their own language.

'I work here for...'

For one year so I just take a look at them

and I know that what is their nationality...

..is.

Captain Sarik's always looking for new passengers to practise on.

Sometimes, when I have free time I just learn their language.

Today, he's mainly been practising Portuguese.

"Boa sorte", what is it?

-Boa sorte.

-Boa sorte.

-It means good luck.

With a little help from his home-made phrase book,

he can now greet passengers in Russian...

Udachi, means good luck.

..and Korean...

THEY SPEAK KOREAN

..Chinese...

HE SPEAKS CHINESE

..and French.

-French?

-French.

-Bonjour.

But he knows not to push it too far.

If I'm busy, I didn't do this because my boss will...

She's going to kill me.

Next in line is 24-year-old Danny from Wolverhampton,

he's left his family and friends to carve out a new life in Thailand.

I was crying last night, my mum was crying,

my brother was crying.

Being on your own, that's the hard bit cos you've got no-one,

you know what I mean? And then you've left all your friends

and your family and everything at home.

Danny's gambled everything on making it big as a DJ.

'I don't have loads of DJing experience

'but I've watched famous DJs on YouTube constantly'

and I'm watching them thinking, "I can do that if I'm better."

Take off your cap, please. Take off your cap.

Oh, do you want my cap?

Danny's brought over all his CDs, they're in his suitcase.

But finding that suitcase might not be easy.

I'm lost.

With more than 20 carousels,

baggage reclaim's a bit like Danny's record collection - big.

Can play any music, anything,

drum and bass, techno, house, hard house.

That way? Yeah, that way.

Tech house, minimal.

This is it, I hope.

Bassline house, garage, jackin house.

There's not many people.

Tech house, deep house.

I think this is the right one, I'm not sure.

Trance, psy-trance.

Just have to wait and see.

House.

Hey!

Danny finally tracks down the right luggage belt.

My whole life's in here...

for the near future anyway.

Outside the airport, he gets even luckier.

Not only does the taxi match his suitcase

but the driver speaks fluent English.

Welcome to Thailand.

Can I ask you a question? Why you want to come to Bangkok?

-What brought me to Bangkok?

-Uh-huh.

I've come to try and pursue my DJing career.

-I'm going to go a few bars, ask them if I can play.

-Mm-hm.

Hopefully if they say yes, then play tonight.

Everybody likes to come to Bangkok, Thailand

because the reason why, we're a cool people.

Bangkok may be cool and Danny's hopes are high

but can he really crack the city's famous nightclub scene?

While Danny hits the town, Louise is going nowhere fast.

It's more than 24 hours since she and daughter Lilia

missed their flight home to Paris

and she can't pay, won't pay for a new ticket.

If I have to pay for those tickets

or whatever they want, 30,000 baht,

if I have to pay for that, like I said, I'm going to have not...

I can't pay my rent.

I can't sleep and...

I feel sad and I just want to be in my home in my bed

and take a shower and, like, comb my hair and it's just horrible...

Feel so sad so...

Louise has a four o'clock appointment at the airline desk,

she knows this could be her last chance.

I don't have to pay, right?

-In that way, I have to contact my boss...

-Yeah.

..because actually you need to pay.

Well, that's what they've been telling me, you know,

and the problem is that we did everything right

and there was a major breach of protocol. I'm studying law...

With no answers and the prospect of more hours to fill,

the stress is taking its toll.

They keep bouncing me here and there and here and there

and here and there, you know?

It's supposed to be a holiday and now it's just a fucking nightmare.

You know, money talks, bullshit walks.

While Louise plots her escape, the tourist police have a new case

and here it is - Duncan and Susan picked it up from the carousel

but it's not theirs.

'In all the years we've been travelling,'

we've never done this before. Never picked up the wrong case.

All I can plead in my own defence,

forgive me, I'm a lawyer by profession,

is that the cases are absolutely identical.

I'm hoping we haven't spoiled someone's holiday.

Probably haven't improved it, have we?

But if they've got the wrong suitcase, who's got theirs?

It's got all my clothes in,

absolutely every single thing that I need for my holiday.

That's it really, I mean,

I've got what I'm standing up in and that's all.

Lost luggage is one of the great holiday nightmares.

Bangkok's no different to any other busy airport

but it always seems worse when you're so far away from home.

This airport and its layout is different.

Also the fact that the language is completely unfamiliar,

all the signs, it just disorientates you a little bit when you see

writing in a language that you can't even read never mind understand.

Duncan and Susan aren't alone,

joining the lost luggage club today are Geordies Gary and Dave,

they've just touched down four hours late and two bags light.

We decided that in Dubai we would stop and have some king crab

and caviar and champagne and I don't drink

so this is a bad idea.

Once you start drinking champagne and you've just went on holiday,

you just lose all track of time, don't you?

And then before you know it, you're like,

"Oh, let's go and get the plane" and then whoosh!

You watch it flying away.

We had to get the next flight and they said,

"Oh, your baggage will be waiting there for you." And it wasn't.

Typical Brits!

Dave's come to Thailand to study the ancient art of fire juggling

but his missing bag has his fire juggling stick in it

and without it...

Oh, please, please.

..he can't fire juggle.

It's my first juggling fire staff and it's only about that tall

and I only paid about £80 for it but I've just had it...

It's the perfect weight, it's like it was perfect...

Like designed for me, you know?

So...just hope it's OK.

Back at the police station, the staff are pulling out all the stops

but with a connecting flight to catch, time's running out.

Just hoping they get it to us in sufficient time for us

to make the connection.

We've still got an hour at the moment so we should be all right.

The airline has news, there are two bags left at the carousel

and both match Duncan and Susan's.

As for Gary and Dave, they've been sent to lost property

but the staff can't find the staff.

-No way...

-No?

-Same as this.

-Yep.

-Ah.

You contact with...

But the language barrier is always there.

-Contact Emirates?

-Yes, contact Emirates.

Oh, right, so this is actually happening now.

-Oh, no!

-Oh, mate.

So now it's off to the airline desk.

I'm trying to laugh it off but I am actually very upset...

unfortunately.

HE SIGHS

Gary and Dave aren't the only ones feeling the heat.

I'm just saying I haven't actually seen another bag as of yet.

Where's my bag?

Duncan's told to wait while Susan goes back airside.

The moment of truth is approaching.

That's not it. It's bigger. It's like this.

The one that I need is like this.

It's exactly the same.

Things are looking bleak for Dave too,

his whole future as a fire juggler is in jeopardy.

With lots and lots of different symbols on it

which are coloured symbols.

Wounded, absolutely devastated.

He plans on going to a school down in the islands somewhere

that teach you how to do it as well so he will be very upset.

I feel like a donkey with a carrot.

It's like we have your bag, we don't have your bag!

We have your bag, we don't have your bag!

While Gary and Dave continue their search,

Duncan and Susan have reached the end of the line.

Yes, we have only this one.

I think someone's taken my bag.

Can I go back? I don't know how to go back.

-I don't know how to go back.

-Just go this way...

The couple just make their flight

but they leave without Susan's suitcase.

For Gary and Dave, there's one last throw of the dice.

Dave?

Oh, yes, that's it!

-Is it still in one piece?

-It certainly is.

-Oh, fantastic!

Nothing's broke either. Yes!

That a bit bent?

Nah.

Think a mixture of 50% relieved, 50% happy.

Yep, more relieved actually.

Yes!

In downtown Bangkok, Danny's found the Khao San Road,

an old rice market now teeming with cafes and bars.

It's base camp for a million backpackers

and the perfect place for an aspiring DJ to land his first gig.

Danny dreams of making it big on the city's club scene

but first he needs somewhere to stay.

Hmm, this looks a friendly place.

Time to give the Thais a masterclass in bartering.

Hello, have you got a room? For one?

Cheapest one, the cheapest one.

-You have a room for 150 or not?

-No.

I thought you had one, no? Erm...

Maybe if you could do one for half price at a good price for us?

-Yeah. Is it 300 baht you can do one for?

-350.

-350.

-Yes.

-One second.

If I pay you 350, you can give me an upgrade. How's about that?

-A better room with air con for 350?

-Oh, no, no.

-You can't?

Yeah, OK.

Well, it was worth a go and with 50 baht to the pound,

he can take the hit.

I did try and I was like, "Should I walk off?"

And then I thought, "Nah, I do like her, I'll just pay."

So I paid £7 a night for this

so I don't know if that's expensive, you see.

Earphones, my Spongebob flannel.

Bassline, jackin, just all my CDs, hopefully I'll use them.

Slippers.

Everything I own now.

Yeah, this is it, this is my life now.

After a quick shower, Danny starts looking for work.

MUSIC: Waiting All Night by Rudimental

Trying to look for bars or club signs. Everything's hidden.

He sets off with bags of optimism.

If I can get like three, one hour or two hour, one hour,

and then we can go from there, go to another one.

Hello, where's the manager?

But slowly reality bites.

I'm a DJ from England. Do you have decks?

If I asked them, do you think they'd let me play or not?

It's closed.

All right, no worries, thank you anyway.

'I'm so confident that at least one bar or club will say yeah.'

So we'll just keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going.

But there are only so many clubs even on Khao San Road

and too many DJs.

Spoke to one of the staff

and basically that's the line-up for tonight,

a lot of DJs in there.

As darkness falls, the knockbacks keep coming

so Danny tries a new tactic.

No charge, nothing like that, just me playing for a little bit.

With the... Yeah, OK.

It's a desperate ploy but will the gamble pay off?

Thank you.

'Good news, good news, eventually got somewhere to play'

and hopefully we'll put a good night on,

show them some proper English garage music

so all the effort was worthwhile.

So Danny's landed the gig but will it be his passport to success?

Back at the airport, Captain A's limbering up for another shift

but it turns out keeping passengers in line is just one of her passions.

Going to the gym, that's my hobby.

When she's not in work, she's working out.

The whole body, my arm, my back, my shoulder, my leg, my stomach.

But when it comes to keeping order,

Captain A never goes into battle empty-handed.

The police who work in the police station, they carry their gun

but for the immigration, we didn't carry the gun,

we carry our immigration stamp.

Yes... IMAGINARY GUNSHOT

..that's our weapon. IMAGINARY GUNSHOT

Like a gun.

Captain A may be tough but she's by no means the toughest cookie

in the immigration department.

That title goes to Inspector Muay...

SHE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE

..a battle hardened immigration officer

who likes to play it by the book.

You need all your paperwork in order when she's on duty

as Vince is about to discover.

I need to know about this one, a temporary one, yes?

Vince flew out of Germany on an emergency passport

after realising at the airport that his was out of date.

The passport was only meant to get him home to France

but now he's used it to fly to Thailand.

-The lady said, "Hey, your passport is too old."

-Yeah.

She said you have to go to the police and the German police

made this passport.

It's meant to be temporary. How long do you stay in Thailand?

-Ten days.

-Ten day.

-Because you are France?

-Yeah, I am French, yeah.

-Yes.

It says here it is good to leave Germany

-and back to Germany.

-Yes. Cannot through Thai, to entry to Thai.

'The worst that could happen is that they put me back on the plane.'

And that would be really shit. I took my...

I took the decision to come here on a very last minute

that's why I didn't check my passport.

I checked like a dozen times if it was right here with me

in my pocket but never checked the expiration date.

# Uh-oh, you're in trouble

# I step up in the game and I burst that bubble... #

This one is like a situation that I don't like, he cannot enter.

Muay sends Vince to the immigration detention centre

in the bowels of the building.

For most visitors it's the first stop before deportation.

The decision rests with Captain Suttipan

and his interpreter Sasigamon.

THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

So he said that he allows you to stay for one more day,

one more night, and then tomorrow you try to contact

with the embassy but the thing is you cannot leave the airport.

OK, thank you. Thank you.

This information I have is that they're probably going to let me

stay in the airport one night, so I can call the French Embassy

tomorrow and try to get some better papers.

It's pretty much like a hotel that you have to stay in the airport

since you cannot leave the country.

TRANSLATION:

Yes.

But it has to be on your expense so it is like a hotel.

I'm feeling lost in translation.

Do you know what's happening to my luggage?

Just one moment.

SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

So for now your luggage is in the storage area and we'll wait

-and see if tomorrow you can leave the airport or not.

-OK.

Vince may have escaped deportation for now but he faces

an uncomfortable stay with no luggage at the transit hotel.

I'm not angry or anything because I know I screwed up

but I'm anxious....

and tired.

While Vince awaits his fate,

two other travellers are about to have theirs decided.

And...

Michael and Jake are trying to make their way back to Liverpool

after their holiday in Thailand, but they forgot to read the small print.

Our travel agent in the UK never said anything about needing

a visa for Thailand at all.

So when we got to checking in in Heathrow, we were like...

The girl goes, "Have you got a visa?" We were like, "What visa?"

So the boys took out a standard 30-day Visa exemption

when they landed in Bangkok 33 days ago.

Yeah.

-So, we've been over three days, have we?

-Three days.

-Three days.

We were three days over. We thought it was two but she says it's three

so...we'll take her word for it.

For Inspector Muay, this one is a routine case.

She gets it all the time from Brits abroad.

She's happy to settle this kind of case with a fine.

The only question is how much.

At immigration, the boys are stopped and escorted to a back room.

They're about to find out.

Yeah. Yeah. Three-day. I think it's three.

Three-day.

It's 1,500 baht.

1,500 baht might sound a lot.

In fact, it's around £30. But even so...

-Good beer money that, as well.

-That was beer money, as well.

So that's...

the best part of...

15 bottles less.

Sign there?

-Might we have a problem getting into Thailand in the future?

-Oh, no.

OK, no problem. Good.

We want to come back.

We like Thailand. Had a good night out in Bangkok.

We'd have spent a lot more than £30 in Liverpool getting drunk.

-Yeah, so, it was cheaper in Bangkok.

-We thought it was an investment.

Yeah.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

So, the boys can leave the country with their reputations intact

and just a small dent in their wallets.

Looks like Vince is leaving, too,

but his departure's not quite so happy.

After entering Thailand with the wrong papers,

he got a late-night call at his transit hotel.

They call me almost one hour ago to tell me

that they're putting me back in a flight in the next two hours. So...

..I'm going to finish packing

and get back on the second...

..ten-hour flight in a row.

That's pretty much it.

Poor Vince. A 20-hour round trip and he never even left the airport.

Meanwhile, Louise and Lilia have been called back to the

airline desk to learn their fate.

-Check-in over there.

-OK.

Today, if you don't get on the flight,

next time I have to charge you 340 euro.

-OK, so we can go on this flight?

-Yes, you need to go now.

-Thank you.

-Please.

-Thank you.

It's the news Louise was hoping for.

The airline will allow them both to check in for free.

Better get out of here before they change their mind.

Thank you.

I can't believe we're going away.

I'm never coming back to this fucking country ever again in my life.

I can't believe it. Sorry. Beep, beep.

I just want to get fucking drunk on that plane. That's all I want to do.

As Louise and Lilia finally head home,

it's all about to kick off in downtown Bangkok.

Danny's blagged our guest spot DJing at a local bar

but as Khaosan Road comes alive, he's feeling like death.

I think I've got a sickness bug.

Diarrhoea. Just headaches.

I think just basically fatigue, exhaustion.

I've got no energy.

But I'm still going to give it a go.

Hopefully the music will get me going.

That's what I'm hoping, anyway.

Danny gets his head round the gear...

Where's for the headphones?

-Yeah.

-Oh.

..but just before the big gig, he's caught short.

Where's the toilet? Where's...?

Are his dreams of stardom about to go down the pan?

Fast.

As the crowd gets restless,

Danny returns in time to lay down some bad-ass tunes.

It's not the liveliest bar and not the coolest crowd

but somehow Danny gets them going.

LOUD DANCE MUSIC

Done. Dusted. I'm so hot. I'm dripping.

It's been a tough gig but his English house classics have

broken down a few barriers and won him some new fans.

-Different music.

-Not normal.

-Not normal.

-English music.

-English, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Vomiting and diarrhoea forgotten,

the gig has left Danny flushed with success.

My heart's still racing a little bit but, yeah, I think it went well.

I was so, like...just nervous.

When I was pressing the button

I was a little bit out of time sometimes but...

Obviously in the future I want to start producing, I want to

start playing different places, different bars, different clubs.

So, yeah, this is a step in the right direction.

So for a bit of sickness, a bit of a headache, just get over it.

He's started small but his career could be about to take off.

Next time at Bangkok Airport, love is in the air...

Oh, my God. I could give you a kiss right now, man.

..the airport celebrates Valentine's Day...

ALL: Happy Valentine's Day!

..and romance blossoms in visa-on-arrivals...

He is my boyfriend.

But don't tell anybody, OK?

..Nathan from Liverpool has a surprise for his mum and dad...

My boyfriend is here so I'll be introducing them to him.

So it'll be interesting to see their reaction.

..and Justin flies in for a nip and tuck...

It's a strange thought that the image that you look at in the mirror is

not the one I'm going to wake up with.

..when we check in again at Bangkok Airport.