The Luck of the Irish Sea Timothy Spall: Back at Sea


The Luck of the Irish Sea

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OK, what I'm gonna do is what I usually do, right?

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There's this, right? On.

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'I'm Timothy Spall, and this is my wife, Shane.'

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Pardon?

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'We're on the trip of a lifetime.

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'We're circumnavigating the British Isles in a barge.

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'It's not the fastest boat on the water.

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'We left London five years ago and we're not quite halfway around.'

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Shall we give that lady a wave?

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Hiya, darling, all right!

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CLATTER

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Have I damaged it?

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'Last year we took on the Atlantic Ocean

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'as we travelled from Cornwall to Wales.

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We're Mr and Mrs Vasco de Gama-Magellan-Francis Drake-O'Columbus.

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That's who we are.

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The electric anchor's not working, so Tim's got to do it manually.

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The anchor's broken.

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You stay there and I'll do this.

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I know what I'm doing, love.

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I think we've run aground.

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Yeah.

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'This next phase will take us into the Irish Sea...'

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Hold on, Shane, hold on! Sit down!

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'..visiting every country in the United Kingdom...'

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One kipper? That's not going to get you far, is it?

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-Irish jig...

-Don't spoil it!

-Doing an Irish jig!

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'..as we make our way up to Scotland...'

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Come on, you old wallowing pig!

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'..one port at a time.'

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Come on, baby!

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There you go. Hello, darling!

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Whatever they've set him in, it's pretty bloody good.

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Wahey!

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Here I am! Another land conquered.

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We've come here on our boat!

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From the safety of Cardiff Marina,

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it looks like a glorious morning

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to continue our round-Britain adventure.

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I'm glad to see somebody's captain.

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He's in there. Give him a knock, Roy.

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He's still in the arms of Morpheus, probably.

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No, he's been out of Morpheus for a couple of hours now, believe me.

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Roy Jones is a local marine electrician

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and an experienced mariner.

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As an extra safety measure, I've asked him to check my course.

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I'm looking at these, erm... Do you want a cup of tea, Roy?

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Oh, go on, but don't make one special.

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I'm looking at these, erm...

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As you get up round the corner here, it says it's got overfalls.

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Do I have to take notice?

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I mean, I have marked them and I'm trying to go south of them.

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Yeah, so you're coming out.

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I'm coming out here.

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Yeah. And out that way, so up there?

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Off Nash you've got the rocks.

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You can see it breaking there, so you want to come out.

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'Nice! Rocks.

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'As if I haven't got enough to worry about.'

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Is it quite fresh out there?

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Looks like it's doing about a three or a four?

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It is. Yeah.

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Oh, I'll come back. If it's horrible out there, I'll come back.

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-Yeah, I say it's enjoyment, it's not a test.

-Absolutely right.

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Because I woke up worrying at half five, thinking,

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"Right, I ain't been to sea for six months

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-"and I'm going to go today, so er..."

-It's always a bit apprehensive, isn't it?

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-You've got to be nervous.

-Yeah, yeah.

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If you're not, you're not human. It's always an unknown, but it's an adventure.

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-Yeah, exactly.

-It's an adrenaline rush.

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You've got it. You got it.

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Bye, Roy!

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My aim is to get us to Milford Haven,

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100 nautical miles away, in just two days.

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This marks the end of the Bristol Channel

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and the start of the Irish Sea...

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one of the world's most unpredictable seas.

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'I don't suffer from stage fright,

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'but I do suffer from sea fright.'

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Right, this is it, then.

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We're either going to go or we'll be back in here in about five minutes.

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It'll take me at least an hour to get used to the waves again.

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That's if there is any, but we'll see - let's have a look.

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It's doing a fair old pace out there, that's for sure.

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It doesn't look very nice to me.

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It's fine.

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Look at the way the buoy's moving about, love. That's not fine, is it?

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Yes, it is, it's fine.

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Yeah, it's lumpy.

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OBJECTS CLATTER

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It's all right, it's the change jar.

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My guts are churning and my heart is beating. I feel like I'm going to die.

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I'll be all right in a minute.

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It's good. It's nice.

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Especially when that great big ship goes past us.

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Although I've navigated over 600 nautical miles,

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at times I've been winging it a bit, learning as I go.

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But with the unpredictable Irish Sea on the horizon,

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I don't want to take any chances.

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So I've had some new equipment fitted.

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And it ain't cheap, this stuff.

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All this shit, all this shit, all this technology...

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is all fantastic.

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But at the end of the day, it's an approximation.

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It's 15 grand's worth of approximation,

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because I knew we'd be knocked about a bit.

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That don't tell you, that don't tell you.

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The only people that tell you is the coastguard and they'll say,

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"Slight or moderate sea, rough or moderate sea, rough or slight or smooth sea."

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You never know, because you're at sea.

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We're in the Bristol Channel, which some people consider as a river,

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but it's ferocious, you know?

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After an overnight stay in Swansea,

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we're back on track for Milford Haven.

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And, thankfully, the Bristol Channel is behaving itself. Today, anyway.

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It's always different, every single journey is different.

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And you can never predict what might happen. Anything might happen.

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This adventure we're on, this odyssey,

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it's not something I could have dreamed up until I got ill.

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It was 14 years ago, while I was recovering from leukaemia...

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..that I first began to dream about living on the water.

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Just watching the boat cut itself through this lovely wash,

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it's poetry in motion, isn't it?

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But you know, it's a mixture with me.

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I'm both... I'm not scared of this. This is lovely.

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But you just never know what's going to happen.

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Those two white apparitions there,

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they look like yachts that have just come out of Milford Haven Harbour.

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So that looks like our passage into Milford Haven.

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Sir William Hamilton, a wealthy Scotsman,

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founded Milford Haven in 1793.

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He invited seven Quaker families from America to settle here

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and develop a whaling fleet.

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A few years later, he persuaded the Navy

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to build a dockyard here, making warships.

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Today, it's a thriving port for oil companies.

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Look at it. I mean, it's an extraordinary place.

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I love it, it's beautiful.

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-I love it.

-This is just my cup of tea,

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this mixture of industry and physical beauty.

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I love it, love it!

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The sea's like silk, no wind.

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Sun was out, it was wonderful.

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Yeah, we don't get many of those.

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The first time I'd heard of Milford Haven,

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I was 21 and playing a part in Shakespeare's Cymbeline.

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It always makes me think of Judi Dench.

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Because she played the character Imogen in Cymbeline,

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where she ran off with somebody from Milford Haven.

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God bless you, Jude.

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The Princess Matilda might not look like a seafaring boat,

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but that's exactly what she is.

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She's a 35-ton flat-bottomed seagoing barge

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with a hull specially designed for heavy weather.

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Which we're going to need

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as the rest of the summer will be on the Irish Sea.

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The Irish Sea, it's one of those places that's got...

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You can see Snowdonia, you know?

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So you've got seas and you've got mountains, you know?

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It's going to be like a Lord Of The Rings sort of environment.

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It's going to be magical and terrifying once again.

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Why am I doing this? I've no idea!

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Tomorrow we'll set off for Fishguard

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and our most dangerous journey so far.

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'Between Milford Haven and Fishguard are 60 nautical miles...'

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Afternoon. Lovely day.

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'..and all manner of dangerous obstacles.

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'The infamous islands of Skokholm and Skomer,

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'St David's Head, and The Bishops.

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'I'm going to need all my wits about me

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'if I'm going to take on the Irish Sea and get us there safely.'

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I'm about to skipper a barge into the Irish Sea for the first time,

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but it hasn't started terribly well.

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What I've worked out is, because there was conflicting opinions

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in the guide books,

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that I've left probably two hours too late

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to use the full benefit of the tide

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to take us all the way round.

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So I reckon we'll get there about 8pm.

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I'm banking on the fact that we'll get there before dark.

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The forecast for the sea is slight.

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But I've got a feeling no-one's told the sea.

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Oh, blimey! Whoa, that's a good one!

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Yep. Hold on. Oh, Jesus!

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That's a good one, whoop!

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And another.

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I think this might be the Irish Sea, love.

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Unless it's like, we don't go out unless it's flat calm,

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this is going to be it.

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'I thought the trip to Swansea was bad, but this is something else.

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'These must be eight or nine-foot swells.'

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Look at my house. My house is a mess. My house is a mess.

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'Not only are we taking a battering, but two of our fenders

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'have been washed overboard and there's a rope loose in the sea.

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'If that rope chews up around my propeller,

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'the bloody engine will stop.'

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You might be able to stick your hand out of one of the windows and...

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I ain't doing nothing.

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It's just hanging by one of the windows here! You'll see it. Look!

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Over here. Look.

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It's going all over my carpet.

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Should have done it in the first place, stupid!

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Fortunately, I keep rope in my handbag as well as lipstick.

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Right...

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That should do it.

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There you go, that's what I was saying about the elements, you know.

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This is when they remind you that they're the boss...

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Whoo!

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..and they're not there for your, not for your delectation.

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Although they can be enjoyed

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and worshipped and feared in equal proportions.

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Somewhere along the line,

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that's what I think I'm sort of doing at the moment.

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'Right now, the tide is going directly against us

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'at about five knots.

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'I'm doing five knots in the other direction,

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'which means...

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'we're actually going nowhere.'

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Well, at least the sun's out.

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After the worst voyage of our lives, it's an absolute delight

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to see Strumblehead Lighthouse, the guardian angel of Fishguard.

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We've been pounded all day, but we're not finished yet.

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I've got to find our bloody mooring.

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It's near the lifeboat station somewhere.

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There's the crane, there's the lifeboat station.

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Where's the lifeboat station?

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Well, I reckon where that...

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It doesn't even say it on the map, does it?

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Yeah. It says "station".

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No, we're heading towards a sort of...

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a sort of place where it dries out.

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Well, don't go over there, go over this way.

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No! No, that's where we're heading, to a place where it dries out.

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This is really relaxing.

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It's what we do to relax. We come into strange ports in the dark

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after being hours and hours at sea.

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And there's another rope in the water there.

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That's the hardest day at sea I've ever had, easily,

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because it was so long

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and so unpredictable, and so many hazards, er...

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And here we are in a place that isn't very relaxing!

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Timmy, you go to the back.

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Look, it's just... We're here now, we're here now.

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-I know, but you go and see to the back, darling.

-We're here now, right.

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You can't do it all.

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In just a few days since we've left Cardiff,

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we've covered 160 nautical miles.

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This time last year, it took us over three months to do that.

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It's a compulsion that drives us on just to keep moving on and on.

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And fair weather, and you just make the most of it.

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You just bang on and go as far as you can

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when you've got nice weather.

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The next port is Aberystwyth.

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Tucked into the middle of Cardigan Bay,

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it's a safe shelter from the extremes of the Irish Sea.

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Aberystwyth sits at the confluence of two rivers,

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the Rheidol and the Ystwyth.

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In Victorian times, it boomed as a tourist town

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and was billed as the Biarritz of Wales.

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For Shane, this is more than just a quick stop for supplies.

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Ages before we met, she lived here,

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but she hasn't been back for 36 years.

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She's off for a walk down memory lane, and to get the shopping in.

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I arrived in Wales when I was, I don't know, about 18, a little hippy.

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I recognise this here, so I think if we go right here,

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then we should come to...Northgate,

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where I used to live.

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While Shane's out and about,

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it gives me a chance to have a look around our lovely old tub.

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Oh, she ain't half picking up some rust.

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That's the anchor, so where you're pulling it as well,

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it's worn the paint off and the rust has got in there.

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I wish I could get the bugger up straight, though.

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It keeps getting caught on that bar there.

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Have another go.

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Shane wouldn't be letting me do this if she was here!

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If I can...

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If I can get that up there...

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No, it's not working.

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God, it's all so much smaller than I remember.

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I just remember this being really, really long streets.

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I lived in one of these rooms up here, with a big bay window,

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and there was quite a lot of us living in there.

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Maybe if I can get that...up and round...

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I'm trying to get it so it doesn't stick out.

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Yahey!

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Done it! Talk about adding rust.

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And just in the nick of time.

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The final leg of our first phase

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would take us around the Lleyn Peninsula and up into north Wales.

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Holyhead coastguard, Holyhead coastguard, this is Princess Matilda.

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We're heading towards, er...

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I'm afraid I can't pronounce it the way you can.

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Porthdinllaen via Bardsey Sound, over.

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'This is Holyhead.

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'What's your ETA, over?'

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ETA approximately 12 noon, over.

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'Passage for your safe arrival, over.'

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Thank you very much, Holyhead coastguard,

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this is the Princess Matilda, out.

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'We're heading to a port I've never heard of.

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'Not only that, I can't even say it.'

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Porthdillian, Dillian. Dillin.

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So Llan...Dillan, Dillan!

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Perhaps that's it, Dilthan.

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I think that must be it, that isthmus that comes out there.

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I think that's the edge of, erm...Dinllaen, that's what it is.

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'Every so often I ask myself, "Why am I doing this?"

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'And sometimes I get little clues.'

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He's escorting us into harbour.

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Look, he is, he's flying above us.

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He's an angel. That's amazing.

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He's flying right there, right on the bow, showing us which way to go.

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'It's leading us into

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'one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen.

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'It's like the land that time forgot.

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'This beautiful cove was once a major sea port.

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'In the 19th century, it was used for bringing trade into north Wales,

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'and it had a big fishing industry.

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'But now their biggest catch is a Dutch barge

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'and two English mariners.'

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Have you got it?

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No.

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-Right.

-Yeah! I got it.

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Right, you ain't gonna be able to pick that up, because that's heavy.

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Right, get it on the boat.

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That'll be it.

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Well done, you got it.

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-Right, so we're on.

-Yeah.

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Welcome to Porthdinllaen!

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-How do you say it?

-Porth-incline.

-Porthdinllaen.

-Porth-en-cline.

-Porthdinllaen.

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-Porthdinllaen.

-Yes.

-Porthdinllaen.

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The pub's on the beach that featured in the film, Half Light Half Moon.

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-Oh, right.

-With Demi Moore.

-Oh, right.

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-OK.

-If you go in, you'll get your picture on the wall with her.

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Oh, right!

0:24:060:24:08

'That was helpful. Did he just mention Demi Moore?'

0:24:080:24:11

Right, Porth...din...kline.

0:24:110:24:16

As in Kevin!

0:24:160:24:17

'As soon as I saw it on the map, I thought, "That's got to be done,"

0:24:260:24:31

'because you have to remember that what we're doing isn't a race.

0:24:310:24:37

'It's about discovering.'

0:24:370:24:40

I just love it, I love it.

0:24:400:24:42

This could be the Greek islands, it could be the Caribbean,

0:24:420:24:45

it could be South America, or it could even be Wales!

0:24:450:24:49

So that gentleman was right.

0:25:020:25:05

There she is, Demi Moore.

0:25:050:25:07

The pub is also a sort of museum to the local lifeboat station.

0:25:070:25:12

It was the tragic shipwrecks on the Irish Sea

0:25:120:25:16

which led to the Royal National Lifeboat Institute being formed.

0:25:160:25:20

They wouldn't take money for the food?

0:25:220:25:26

No, so I put ten quid in the RNLI.

0:25:260:25:28

'We're both huge admirers of the people who crew the lifeboats,

0:25:280:25:34

'and we want to go and visit the guys here.'

0:25:340:25:37

Hiya, Tim. Hello, mate, hiya.

0:25:370:25:39

'They're encouraging me to take their precious lifeboat for a spin.'

0:25:390:25:44

'Oh, good lord, it looks a long way down there.'

0:25:490:25:53

Right, when we touch the water, when I tell you, full on.

0:25:530:25:57

-Oh, right, really?

-Yeah. OK?

0:25:570:25:59

HORN BELLOWS

0:25:590:26:01

Here we go, here we go.

0:26:010:26:05

This would have taken us about 25 minutes!

0:26:240:26:27

Look at the wash, look at that!

0:26:290:26:33

I mean, that's like... It's absolutely fantastic!

0:26:330:26:37

It's wonderful! It's wonderful!

0:26:410:26:45

How long has there been a lifeboat station here?

0:26:470:26:51

The first one was built in 1864.

0:26:510:26:54

1864, bloody hell!

0:26:540:26:55

Look at these birds, are they guillemots, no? I thought they were, yeah.

0:27:000:27:04

'This beautiful bay has one more surprise.

0:27:040:27:08

'A cliff full of nesting guillemots. Thousands of 'em!

0:27:080:27:13

'They live on the North Atlantic, but come here every May

0:27:130:27:17

'to lay a single egg, then return to the ocean after it hatches.'

0:27:170:27:23

It's like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of guillemots and all their chicks,

0:27:230:27:28

they must be a few days old,

0:27:280:27:29

and they're nesting on the ledges, and now they're all taking off

0:27:290:27:33

because the engines have scared them.

0:27:330:27:35

It's amazing, I've never seen a sight like it in my life.

0:27:350:27:38

Finding places like Porthdinllaen

0:27:380:27:42

just reminds me why we're doing this.

0:27:420:27:45

These are the hidden gems of the British coastline,

0:27:450:27:48

and I'm really looking forward to discovering many more

0:27:480:27:51

when we get back aboard the Princess Matilda and continue on our journey.

0:27:510:27:56

Never been to Liverpool,

0:28:030:28:05

I've always wanted to go.

0:28:050:28:06

Jimi Hendrix! I say! Ding-dong!

0:28:090:28:12

Look at him, ah, look, look. Look at the beauty of that.

0:28:120:28:16

Whoa, bloody hell! Where did that come from? Nearly hit the bugger!

0:28:160:28:20

Tim, it's not funny...

0:28:200:28:23

Timmy, it's not funny!

0:28:230:28:25

# Somewhere at sea

0:28:250:28:27

# A liner is somewhere at sea

0:28:270:28:31

# Bringing to me

0:28:310:28:34

# A traveller who

0:28:340:28:36

# Will fill my life anew

0:28:360:28:42

# He's out on the sea

0:28:420:28:46

# Somewhere at sea. #

0:28:460:28:48

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