Episode 1 Who Needs Ibiza? The Great British Holiday

This programme contains strong language.

For thousands of Brits who dream of heading abroad

in search of sun, sea, sex and booze...

..there's one place right here in the UK

that's attempting to give the magic of Ibiza a run for its money...

..Europa.

Aye, aye, captain.

A very British campsite...

THEY SCREAM

..tucked away in the Devonshire countryside.

But living up to what the Balearics has to offer isn't easy.

-You said it were like Ibiza, you lying little

-BLEEP.

Three soggy summers have taken its toll on the business.

2012, I would say, was probably the worst.

It was very difficult to stay open last winter, you know,

I think we came very close to actually closing.

A team of reps, as young as the punters themselves,

have been signed up to help turn fortunes around.

We are the biggest,

most dysfunctional family you'll ever meet.

We see how they cope with rowdy revellers...

Oi!

Bastards!

..a typically English summer...

Get rid of the rain.

Keep the water in the sea. I'm happy with that.

..and each other...

Pissing me off about Joey.

-I'm not

-BLEEP

-happy with him at all.

Go!

..as they bring their own brand of holiday entertainment...

to the West Country.

Who needs Ibiza when you've got Europa?!

This programme contains strong language.

Europa is just a two-hour flight away from the Mediterranean...

but it might as well be a million miles away.

A short walk from Woolacombe Bay

on Devon's picturesque north coast is where it's at.

Originally a traditional family caravan park,

the site's been transformed into the hot-spot it is today

by ex-pub landlord Graham Toms.

I've run the park for ten years. Nothing really fazes me.

I have seen it all.

Woo!

You wouldn't want to bring your family here.

Graham owns the resort with his wife Sue.

It can't be this way up. It's got to be flat, has it?

But they aren't exactly what you'd call down with the kids,

so they've handed over day-to-day duties to a younger crew.

I look at the team and I think, "God, really? They're so young!"

Yet they can do the job.

For the reps, it's just like being part of one big MOSTLY happy family.

Twat.

Behind the scenes is Sue's daughter, operations manager Emma.

Don't eat the sweets!

Then there's Becky, who heads up the camp kitchen...

Put it down and get out. Seriously.

Stop piss-arsing about!

It's all fun and games, until I punch them in the balls.

..team leader Josh...

and Graham's 23-year-old daughter Vicki...

Busy, busy.

..one of the first people you're likely to meet on arrival.

Would you like to see my office? My beautiful office.

As customer service manager,

Vicki deals with campsite complaints in her own unique style.

PHONE RINGS

RINGING STOPS How rude.

But she tries to head them off

even before they've got a chance of reaching the front desk.

Grass could do with a trim round here.

Looking a bit rubbish.

There's space for 300 tents and caravans,

but the site also has more upmarket accommodation...

Cosy log cabins that come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes.

This one's a four-berth cabin.

Mainly just blokes use these ones, cos it's got four single beds in.

Cabins are just an upgrade from camping.

You've just got your basics in here.

You got your TV, fridge, kettle, beds...

Seats are a luxury. We don't advertise them.

They're very lucky.

I describe Europa as a FUN campsite.

This little baby.

It's a little two-man tent made out of wood.

If I didn't work here, I'd holiday here.

It's a lot bigger inside than one would imagine.

Ideal, innit?

These are the surf lodges.

These are the biggest accommodation we have to offer.

I wouldn't leave water in the kettle, either.

Cos you don't know how long it's been there,

and the next customer is just going to have to empty it.

Plus it might be piss, you never know!

In charge of bringing some 18-30s madness to the resort

is 21-year-old bar and entertainments manager Joey.

Aye, aye, captain!

At the heart of Joey's domain is the epicentre of the entire campsite.

So, this is the clubhouse.

The piece de resistance of Europa Park. This is where it all happens.

Without it, Europa would not be Europa.

It would just basically be a field in the middle of nowhere.

The clubhouse is fitted out with everything you could possibly need

for a big night out.

Plenty of booze...

a variety of pizza...

-HE CHUCKLES

-That's not how you spell pepperoni.

There's plenty of other spelling mistakes, you'll see.

..and a dance floor complete with all the essentials.

Everyone thinks I'm quite entertaining,

so they kind of left it to Joey to entertain all the guests

with bands and DJs and theme nights.

It's really important for us.

Joey's duties don't end in the clubhouse, though.

He's worked here since he was at school,

and he knows the business inside out.

Manager of the shop, I don't know. Bit of everything.

Jack of all trades, master of none, I suppose!

Joey absolutely loves Europa.

I'd like to say thank you to everyone for last night.

Joey's very important. He's one of the key members around here.

He pretty well understands the whole business from start to finish.

Harry, I want you to start on the bar this morning

and help me on reception.

But the ambitious Joey and his co-manager Vicki

don't always see eye-to-eye.

We're two very different people

and have very different approaches of doing stuff.

Mine and Joey's relationship is very much a love/hate relationship.

We are complete opposites.

People could use me as the lynchpin, holding things together.

I don't believe it's a job any more, I believe it's my lifestyle.

I think I'm a lot more laid back than him. Less professional.

He's all work, work, work and does everything by the book.

I call him Joey Jobsworth.

This season is going to be tough.

Visitor numbers have been down

and the managers need to make sure this summer counts.

The recession's hit hard.

2012, I would say, was probably the worst in my records.

The weather has a massive impact on us here, obviously.

If it's nice weather, people want to come camping.

If it's bad weather, people don't camp.

GRAHAM: Business hasn't been at its best at all.

Basically, we've been getting poorer and poorer

and we haven't spent the money on the campsite that we've needed to.

Vicki and Joey need to put their differences aside

if they're going to make the season a success.

But with the summer sun shining brightly,

things are looking up at the campsite...for today, at least.

There's queuing right up the hill, right back round the corner.

Potential earnings... potential dollar signs!

I've got one accommodation ready.

Once you're through the barrier,

if you want to turn right and go round...

Revellers come from all over the UK, in search of one thing...

fun and frolics, Ibiza style.

Have a nice day.

Among the latest arrivals is a group of lads from Rotherham in Yorkshire.

If one of you can just sign at the bottom...

On the lookout for birds, booze and a rollicking good time,

student nurse Tom thought he'd picked up a bargain

when he booked online.

We just wanted to come away to have a laugh and get drunk

and get away from work for a bit.

But the no-frills, compact accommodation

isn't going down well with his mates.

-Who's staying here,

-BLEEP

-Borrowers?!

BLEEP

-BLEEP

-joking, man!

-Oh, my God.

-BLEEP

-concentration camp.

This can't be it. Can't be.

-What the

-BLEEP?!

The accommodation, to be fair, was wank.

-Where's Gav going to sleep?!

-On the...

-Oh, my

-BLEEP

-word.

Not a chance!

It was probably about four foot high off the ground.

Gav's 6' 3", he couldn't get in it.

Scott's 6' 2", he couldn't get - I'm 6', I couldn't get in it.

-You said it were like Ibiza, you lying little

-BLEEP!

I need a minute outside, to be fair.

We got told it was a log cabin for six.

It is a log cabin for six.

-I'm going to go and speak to them because...

-Speak to them?!

I want me money back.

The boys' complaints are nothing new to Vicki, who's heard it all before.

I think the problem is because it's groups that come,

there's obviously one person that's booked it.

And the one person that's booked it has done all of their revision,

so when the rest of the guys turn up here,

they're like, "Whoa, we're staying in a shed!"

-I'm 6' 3", it's not

-BLEEP

-big enough!

You can pitch up anywhere you like within these green grass areas.

Do you reckon it's that big one at the back up there, or...?

Wait, let me check the map!

Over the years, the resort's become a popular destination

for stag and hen parties.

This band of campers from Coventry

have got just one thing on their mind.

We are here for one last crazy weekend.

Their main aim?

To ensure total humiliation of chief-hen Sam.

Well I'm dressed as a crayon today because it's my hen do.

I'm getting married in four weeks - four weeks tomorrow.

And my...

I want to say "amazing" friends and family

decided that this would be the outfit.

Woo!

Wait there!

We needed a campsite that wouldn't throw us off if we were noisy.

Lock up your sons, basically!

The Coventry hens waste no time

in getting their orders in at the clubhouse.

-I feel bad, because I booked this shit.

-You want to complain.

-I don't want to complain, I just...

-You want to complain!

..which is probably what the Rotherham lads

would rather be doing,

but they've still got no idea where they'll be sleeping tonight.

Hobbits' fucking shed.

Not for us, mate.

It's down to trainee nurse Tom to wangle an upgrade,

and keep his mates happy.

-It's an eight-berth static.

-Mm-hm.

It's got four singles and one double in there,

and two sleep in the lounge.

But you've only got five, so you can all have a bed each.

You've got a kitchen area...

Also got a shower room and a separate toilet.

Yeah, yeah.

That's brilliant. Thank you very much.

Tom's managed to pull it off, but at a price.

I fixed this by paying an extra £120 to upgrade to a lodge

where we've got us own bedroom, a shower and toilet.

Let's open this door!

We've already looked through t' window and it's shit.

-Is it?!

-Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Awesome, this.

Yeah, as if you didn't know that was coming. Mint.

Right I'm having this fucking room. This is my room.

You can sleep in t' fucking fridge!

At least now the boys have got somewhere to impress the ladies

should they get lucky.

-I wouldn't say a lot better.

-It is a lot bigger.

-Ungrateful

-BLEEP,

-I've just paid £120...

-Didn't ask him to.

-You silly bastard.

He didn't ask me to, I fucking did.

This has good foundations and walls. It's got staples, mate.

It was a generous offer and we appreciate it.

He don't pay board at home, so he's all right.

Fuck you, mate.

Get a man to kiss your feet -

-cos I know how much you hate people touching your feet.

-Oh, no!

It might only be three o'clock in the afternoon,

but the party's already started for the Coventry hens,

kicking off with a rather daring list of challenges

for bride-to-be Sam.

She's got to...obtain an item of male underwear and wear it.

Use the men's toilets.

Sell your dirty knickers for a fiver.

Today's ones tomorrow!

-Get a group of unknown men to chant her name.

-Excuse me?

-Guys!

-Can you help us with our challenges?

Can you help me with a challenge, please?

I need to get a group of unknown men to chant my name.

-For a stag do challenge.

-Please.

-It's a bit early for this, though.

-Sam.

-It's not early.

My name's Sam. After three. One, two...three.

-THEY CHANT:

-Sam! Sam! Sam!

THEY CHEER

-Who's got a pen?

-Tick it off the list!

Keeping the party pumping on camp is a constant crusade for the team.

OK, so we are here...

On a busy weekend, the resort can attract up to 1,200 holiday-makers

who get through a mountain of fast food...

Freshly handmade pizzas by Becky.

These are ones I made earlier.

..and over 3,400 pints of beer.

And it's down to head of entertainments Joey

to make sure the fun never stops.

It's really important to keep the bar all tiptop and...

you know, everything stocked up properly

just so the customers know what we've got.

It's kind of where the main, sort of, action happens here.

It always makes me feel good when it's done

and then I get a bit depressed when it gets all messy again

the next day.

To campsite owner Graham, Joey's a bit of a rising star.

Joey's very profit-orientated.

He's always thinking of ways that we can make more money.

Every little opportunity, he spots it.

As daughter of the big boss,

Vicki's a potential heir to the campsite empire,

but she's well aware that Joey's not far behind her.

It annoys me. It does annoy me greatly.

Because he is only human and he does make mistakes.

Like, when he makes a mistake

they're just like, "Oh, he's only human!"

But when I make a mistake it's like, "Come on, Vicki!

"Come on, why you doing that? That's really stupid!

"What a stupid mistake to make." And then it's like, "Oh..."

HE WHISTLES

He is fucking... He is Golden Balls.

It annoys me.

I feel, at times, Vicki feels I take control

over something that she should have control over.

Or she feels I'm too involved at times.

-Do you want to go party?

-You can't be drinking down there, either.

It all stems back to her thinking that her dad doesn't...

respect her like he respects me. That sort of thing, I think.

I think it's jealousy.

OK. Bye.

The problem is, Vicki's struggling to fully commit

to the business, as she's also a single parent to two-year-old Riley.

Joey can put the hours in, whereas she can't any more.

All right mate, how's it going? You going down?

Obviously, when I had Riley, he became number one.

So everything is about Riley now.

That's what happens when you become a mum.

Everything about you doesn't matter no more,

as long as your son's all right.

What are you worried about, mate? Go on, you can tell Mummy.

Being a single mum in itself is hard, let along working as well.

But then I find that when I don't have Riley,

I seem to let my hair down twice as much

as what usual people do at the weekend.

I think I look better with make-up.

I don't like me without my make-up on.

I don't think I've quite got the balance yet.

I'm working on it.

But in the clubhouse, the customer service manager

certainly is getting the balance right.

Woo!

It's the start of peak season in the West Country

and Vicki's hard at work making sure the punters are having a good time.

Couple of Pernods, job's a good 'un.

THEY LAUGH

Fanny's your aunt, and all that.

But tonight, the excitement's all got a bit too much for Vicki.

Oh...

SHE RETCHES

Fucking 'ell, Vicki.

I just ate a whole chilli.

And it made me sick.

Bearing in mind I am someone that doesn't even eat curly fries

cos they're too spicy for me.

-What are you drinking?

-My mouth is still on fire!

What do you want to drink?

Pernod, lemonade and blackcurrant, please.

-Pernod, lemonade and blackcurrant? Such a dirty little girl!

-Thank you.

Er, Pernod, blackcurrant and lemonade on my account.

High season might have just begun

but Vicki's already taken a shine to Joey's latest addition to the team.

Chemistry student Chris,

professionally known as DJ Whizzy, is also a friend of Joey's.

Part of his duties include whipping up the clubhouse crowd

with his sounds.

Joey saw pictures of me DJing on Facebook, and said send him a demo.

So I did. And he said, "Do you want to be a DJ?"

And I said, "Yes!"

No interview, no nothing, just straight in.

A shot of Midori, a shot of AGWA, a shot of Apple Sours,

orange juice and grenadine.

What do you reckon?

-He's made a fucking lovely drink.

-I'm a genius, aren't I?

Don't it look all Caribbean and that?

'He's a very extraordinary character. I've never met anyone like him.

'He just comes across as the most dumbest person, you know,'

but he's actually the most intelligent person I've ever met.

He's got such a weird...

..way of looking at things.

He intrigues me. We have so much in common.

I ate the chilli.

Drank the shots.

Can I have a look, then?

I threw up the chilli!

'Vicki's very deep, but she doesn't come across that way.'

A lot of people say, like, "Oh, she's cold."

Right, let's go and get a chilli and let's see you eat it.

She just has a very hard outer shell.

-I'm scared.

-Yeah, damn right you're fucking scared.

-Let's do it, then!

Fuck it! Fuck it! Let's do it.

I dunno. I just find Vicki very, very intriguing.

Ibiza it might not be, but the Coventry hens are well and truly

entering into the holiday spirit.

Bride-to-be Sam and her posse have had an outfit change

and are getting to grips with their check list.

The day has been good. She used the men's toilets.

What else have you done?

-She just sold her knickers for a fiver.

-I did.

Nearly got the stag's pants from the other party.

-Nearly?

-Nearly...

-He ran away.

-But he ran away.

Lucky for Sam, a fresh pair of boxers aren't too far away.

I have these!

I have boxer shorts!

MUSIC: "Proud Mary" by Tina Turner

There's absolutely no place to hide at the resort

when there's a hen on the loose.

Aah, no!

No!

Woo!

So we've got "Ginge" down there, who has agreed...

-A man we met earlier...

-..to buck her, to buck her like a bronco.

For the Rotherham lads,

they'd unfortunately rather be anywhere else but Devon.

It's not where you are, it's who you're with.

Exactly.

So you give me Europa Park and you give me Ibiza, I'd probably go Ibiza.

Yeah. For the same price.

When the alcohol flows in the clubhouse, so can the testosterone.

LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

Ahh, it's good, that! That's fucking ace!

You can get away with a lot of things on-site

but flashing rarely puts a smile on the face of bouncer Ollie.

ALL: Boo!

What is this?

I don't know if you're aware,

about five minutes ago there was a child here.

Now if I want to be a prick about it,

I can get you arrested for exposing yourself in front of a child.

How would you feel if your little boy or little girl

saw someone getting their willy out in front of you?

You wouldn't like it.

-Now, I'm not.

-Yeah.

-I'm just going to say fuck off for the night

and you're not coming back. Go!

We let them get away with a lot of stuff, we let them have fun.

They're paying good money to come here and enjoy themselves,

but there are ground rules.

And nudity is one of them.

As another night draws to a close,

Vicki decides the time has come to grab her man.

I'm not going back to an all-boys school again.

Entertainments manager Joey's on hand

to make sure they don't get too carried away.

But he's a bit too late.

It already looks like this could be the first high season romance.

Last orders at the bar, please!

Thank you very much!

Proceedings might be coming to an end in the clubhouse,

but not for night warden Steve who's already primed and ready for action.

Shines all the way down there, look.

Shines all them cars up down there.

It is amazing. Not bad for £14.

But as people say to me, "Oh, that's a good torch, innit?"

I say, "Yeah." They say, "You frightened me with it."

For Steve, the fun's only just beginning.

Look how good he looks!

"I haven't had hair since the '40s!"

Brilliant.

I knew this would happen before long!

# ..another way

# I got the key. #

-Back to ours, Steve, come on.

-I can walk round later.

-Number 9.

-I know where you are.

-I know where you are.

-We're having a party on the decking.

-All right.

-Bring the wig back, yeah.

Yeah, I will.

For nine long hours a night, Steve patrols the site

in a bid to make sure everyone gets to bed...quietly.

Now we start the rounds.

No music after 12 o'clock.

Any problems, give me a ring. OK? I'll see you later.

I'm on all night.

-Night-night!

-Night-night, now.

It could be a 15-acre site, I don't know.

But it takes a long time to walk around.

Hey! Ho!

Hey! Ho!

Do you want your first warning?

-No.

-Give it to me!

I've had a fair few nudists.

I had one about three weeks ago.

Are you OK?

Yeah. Good, thanks.

I've never seen any ghosts yet.

I'm not afraid of ghosts.

RUMBLING

Somebody snoring.

This is the hen party back here.

Tell by the voices.

Excuse me? Here's the wig!

-Oh, Steve!

-Steve! Have you come for a drink?

-I'll see you a bit later!

-Cheers, Steve!

Ooh...

At 55, Steve's one of the more mature members of the team,

but he's not in the best of health.

Well, I suffer with ulcers on my legs and it's getting worse.

I think I walk ten miles on this site all together.

In one night, I think.

Something round that area.

All right, let's go over here and sort these out, now.

This hill kills me sometimes.

His hearing, however, is still as sharp as ever.

Right, where's that music coming from?

GULLS CRY

As the sun rises over Devon, the holiday camp is slowly waking up.

But one member of staff is feeling far from chirpy this morning.

I'm just a little bit embarrassed

because I'm not actually sure what happened last night.

I drank a little bit too much, to say the least.

And I've got little clips of memory...and I don't know much else.

Co-manager Joey's got evidence of Vicki's antics

and he's not going to let her off the hook without a fight.

-We've got photographs from last night!

-No, don't!

-Don't...

-Don't be violent!

It's all right, I've got a hard copy on my computer.

To go into the Vicki evidence file.

Can I just see them, please?

No. I'll just do it when I've shown everyone.

Outside, Vicki's new admirer Chris is playing it very cool.

-I'm so embarrassed now.

-Why?

You can only be embarrassed if you let it get to you.

Just accept that it's done and leave it at that.

Vicki's best friend, camp cook Becky, is worried.

She's seen it all before when it comes to on-site romances.

If you try and have a relationship in this place,

it's not just between you and the guy.

It's between you, the guy and everyone that works in Europa.

Romance might be blossoming amongst the staff,

but as yet the Rotherham lads haven't been so lucky in love.

Team morale is a little bit low at the minute.

Is there any love interests in a sausage fest nightclub?

-Nah.

-No, there was kind of...

Well, there were that ginger granny who were into you.

There were a bit of interest in Gav's hand at end of t' night.

That were about it.

Including the communal facilities there are over 40 toilets on site.

Let's roll, bitch.

Keeping as many of them as clean as he possibly can

is 22-year-old engineering student Ryan, also known as Weezel.

Surprisingly all right.

I think to be a cleaner at Europa,

you really need to be quite a unique individual.

Have a strong stomach.

You've got to have a bit of determination to get the job done.

Lucky for cleaner Weezel,

he's got a whole arsenal of implements at his disposal.

You have the red cloths, colour coded for the toilets.

Kitchen cleaner.

Bathroom cleaner. And your toilet cleaner.

Standard version 5.0 shovel.

Hand protection.

And my favourite item is kitchen sanitiser.

It beats the bathroom sanitiser hands down.

Tschu-tschu-tschu!

Look at the spray action.

You got your mist... and you got your spit.

This just deposits it in little globules, but this...

fine.

Weezel never knows what he's going to discover next.

Ah! A quid!

Yes!

The worst thing I ever had to clean up was two huge poos in the shower.

We have the classic blocked toilet.

I had to push it down the drain with a stick.

Take the Unblocker 3,000.

I don't think this is going to work.

Wey!

Ugh.

I really do enjoy cleaning and I am happy to be a cleaner.

I almost prefer it when it's messier

because when you go in and you clean something

that is pretty clean anyway, you don't feel like you've done a job.

But when you go in and you've transformed one of the toilet blocks

from an absolute mess to something which people would feel comfortable

going in and using, then you feel kind of appreciated,

and you feel that you've done a good job.

Oh lovely...

a pair of knickers!

A run of bad British summers

has seen a decline in visitor numbers at the resort.

This year, more than ever, the business needs to rake in the cash.

To get the campers into the clubhouse and spending,

Joey's got some ingenious ideas up his sleeve.

Entertainment's basically what people remember

when they're on holiday, so if they've had a bad experience

with camping or accommodation but they've really enjoyed down the bar,

then it could provide a good reputation for us.

This weekend, Joey's planning one of his legendary theme nights.

These events are real money-spinners for the resort,

so he needs to ensure it's a hit.

I love a theme night.

I feel a bit like a kid at Christmas.

For Joey, no theme night is complete without one very important element.

Joey loves a good inflatable. He really does.

Using these kinds of props, you get the same kind of atmosphere

you'd get in resorts abroad, like Ibiza, Zante, Magaluf.

You can now get it in Devon!

I brought the palm tree from home.

Something I had lying around.

Forget the delights that Devon's got on offer.

What Joey's decided the punters really need in the West Country...

is a bit of hula hula.

If you said, "I went to Woolacombe and went to a Hawaiian night,"

you'll remember that better

than saying, "I went to Woolacombe and went to a bar."

We're just waiting for some grass skirts to come now

for the girls to wear, but we're pretty much there.

So, quite exciting, really.

Hawaiian night might be Joey's brainchild,

but he's delegated arrangements to two junior members of the team -

Hannah and Izzy.

Yeah, with the decorating, Izzy, I think we need to go all or nothing.

Because if we have, like, a few inflatables

-it'll just be like a couple of random props, I think.

-Mm.

They've already got their thinking caps on.

-Joey...

-Oh, no, hello!

Right, we've got some ideas.

Please say yes.

We've got inflatables, we've got all that kind of stuff.

-Please can we get some sand?

-We're going to make a beach.

-Where you going to make a beach?

-On the stage, where the poles are.

Just on the top of there, I want sand on there.

And we're going to make big palm trees out of green crepe paper.

-What? To go over the poles?

-Palm tree paradise.

Palm tree paradise. Well, I've got no problems with it actually,

in all fairness. I'll double check with Graham and as long as he says it's OK...

-Bargain!

-Yeah, sure. That's a really good idea, I like that.

High fives all round.

I'll check with Graham about the sand,

that's the only thing he'd be sceptical about.

With the Polynesian plans well under way,

things are looking rosy.

The weather's good, the campsite's full and the bar's stocked.

But there's trouble brewing in paradise.

We've had a problem today.

Chris, our DJ, says he can't work Saturday night.

Well, he seems to reckon he booked it off,

but I think he's trying to pull the wool over my eyes in all fairness.

I put all my planning on here

and the DJ always plays the other night of the band.

Now that's my handwriting and this is his handwriting.

And he's crossed out the band on the second,

but it wasn't like that the other night.

I'd booked a band to come in on the second,

so I know that I wrote that on there.

Joey's expecting a full house at Hawaiian night tomorrow.

He's feeling let down and so is Chris.

I did give five weeks' notice

and I was assured that it wouldn't be a problem.

Apparently it is a problem.

It's his word against mine, so I don't really have a say.

There's no substitute to be had, it's DJ Whizzy who I'd advertised

so it's DJ Whizzy who's going to be playing.

Joey gives Chris an ultimatum.

DJ at Hawaiian night or face the sack.

The frustration that it could jeopardise the whole weekend -

it's just infuriating and I felt like he was taking the utter piss, really.

The only time there are any issues or anyone's annoyed

about something, it all boils down to Joey as the cause of the issue.

Faced with the prospect of losing his summer job,

Chris has no option but to give in.

I should have been getting smashed and playing rave music.

Instead I have to wear a Hawaiian shirt. Yes!

I think sometimes there's better ways of going around things

without pissing everyone off.

Ride it. Ride it hard.

Despite the entertainment department's woes,

the fun just keeps on coming at the resort.

We've got a stag and a hen.

Coventry Hen Sam's had yet another change of outfit.

Tonight Matthew, I am.. "Get in the bowl!"

-Just get in the bowl!

-An M&M.

On the receiving end of Sam's first hen-peck of the evening

is night watchman Steve,

who's puzzled as to why he's been called into work early.

Joey said to me this morning can I come in at eight,

and I said fine, that's OK with me.

That was it really. I dunno what's happening.

Steve, can we just have a word about what happened last night.

I want to talk to you about things up at the top shed.

-Oh, all right.

-All right.

So, Steve, we've got you a little present!

Oh, my word!

-What do you think?

-It's nice!

-Yeah, it's mint, isn't it?

-It's mint!

-Is there a key to it?

-There is a key in it.

We're ready to go!

Here we go!

Let's just go for a drive down here.

-You have shocked me now!

-You really pleased with it?

-Yeah.

-Be careful, it might tip. That's the only thing.

-I'm not mad!

-No, no. Not at all! Let's go!

The buggy's not proving just a hit with just Steve though.

The punters are loving it too!

And even M&M hen Sam gets to enjoy one final fling.

This is my wedding car!

Steve's coming to Coventry and he's going to drive me to my wedding!

-He looks very happy!

-He looks happy, yeah.

Yes. He looks extremely happy! Bless him.

It'll be a lot easier for him now to come and tell us to be quiet when we're being loud.

Every night is party night in the clubhouse

and tonight's no exception.

Joey's forced to put aside his worries about

tomorrow's entertainment to concentrate on tonight's big gig.

I'm the lead singer of our band called Disney Rascal.

We're a ska punk Disney tribute band.

We play Disney songs from all the films, like Aladdin and that, like.

If people are drunk, I don't think you can go wrong with a bit of Disney to be honest.

MUSIC: SKA VERSION OF "BARE NECESSITIES"

You might think that the Disney Rascals

aren't a conventional booking for an 18-30s crowd

but here in Devon, they're going down a storm.

We love Disney. Yeah, we really do.

We are big Disney fans.

I love Disney music. Aladdin, Lion King.

The Rotherham lads, however,

are failing to fall under the group's magical spell.

There's a tribute band on called Disney Rascal

which I'm guessing is a tribute band to Dizzee Rascal, also Disney.

-I don't know!

-Disney.

-Can you imagine Disney and Dizzee Rascal?

-No.

If they're good enough to be booked at a venue like this...

-What? Pizza bar?

-Yeah. Fucking A-listers come here, mate.

While the Rascals are busy keeping almost everyone happy,

Joey discovers the booze is running worryingly low.

When did they ring?

The Carlsberg order...

A call has come into the office from the brewery saying a lorry

carrying much-needed supplies has broken down.

We will only make it to eight o'clock with what we've got here.

For happy hour, we've taken out five kegs of booze from the cellar.

We really have not got a lot left at all.

A quick stocktake reveals the bar will scrape by this evening,

but it could spell disaster for Joey's big Hawaiian night tomorrow.

I don't want to be any more busier, you know.

And if the delivery doesn't turn up we're screwed.

Joey's left to worry about business affairs.

Becky, however, is more worried about affairs of the heart,

specifically those of her friend Vicki and DJ Chris.

You're a sucker for romance. She is. How can I put it?

-You need to be loved.

-Shut up. You make me sound desperate.

No, it's not desperate. Everyone loves to be loved.

Personally, I don't think you and Chris would make a good couple.

I said don't go there.

You even said to me, "Make sure I don't go there, Beck."

You never listen to me!

The drink got the better of you both.

He's a really nice guy. He's lovely. Really lovely.

Despite what Becky's got to say, it seems like Vicki's already hooked.

I care what people think, which is what's held me back.

But I don't care any more because he just makes me laugh so much.

He makes me very happy. I just love being with him.

It's Steve's first night on the job with his buggy

and he's already fallen in love with his new friend.

Oh, yeah. It's got a bit of power to it.

Better than I thought it was going to be.

Make my life a lot easier.

You haven't got a barbecue going, have you?

Excuse me?

Can you keep the noise down, then I won't come back to you?!

Can you keep the noise down, please?

Sorry.

But the love affair doesn't last long.

BUGGY ENGINE NOISE

Oi!

Bastards.

Will you stop, please!

Stop!

Right. If I find the prat who took that, then look out!

It's just gone down there, mate.

Hollywood, sort your shit.

The joyriders have taught Steve a valuable lesson.

Never trust the revellers and never, ever leave the keys in the ignition.

That's annoyed me that has, there.

The good old traditional British fry-up never fails

to put a smile on the punters' faces.

This morning's got off to a particularly good start

for entertainments boss Joey. The much needed booze delivery

finally arrives in time for Hawaiian night.

No more panicking now.

We'll be fully stocked for tonight.

It's not good for our reputation to have no beer.

People come here for a drink, not to stay sober.

But just as one problem gets resolved,

there's another just round the corner.

You all right? I overslept, didn't I?

Chris turns up late for his day shift apparently still suffering

-from the effects of the night before.

-He didn't even turn up.

We had to go and get him out of bed.

Send Steve down there. You know, he stayed at Vicki's.

We managed to get him up.

Could hardly stand up

and was basically a pain in the arse all shift.

Hey, babe, stick a fucking egg on there and I'll leave you alone.

I'm in here cooking! I can't make them cook no faster!

Now fuck off. Don't wind me up today. Honest to God.

Chris? You're having your breakfast? There's still work to be done.

Dom said we're done. Dom said everything's done.

No, the bar needs doing. Dom can have breakfast.

-You've only just got in, man.

-Dom said everything's done.

I picked the check list up.

You go sort the bar out and let Dom have his food.

-Oh, for fuck's sake.

-Pardon?

-I said for fuck's sake.

Chris's relaxed attitude is making Joey wonder

if he made the right decision in employing his friend.

Chris coming in late hasn't impressed me at all.

And he's basically not pulling his weight.

If you come in late, if you're tired, I get that.

10, 15 minutes. I let that go.

But the fact he's come in 20 minutes late and wants breakfast

and wants this and he's not prepared to work for his team. Pissed off.

I was 20 minutes late for work, which means I had 25 minutes' sleep.

I'm not allowed to say this in front of the customers but I was sick.

I can't eat. I've just been sick, mate, I can't eat.

Worried that Chris won't be fit to DJ tonight, Joey sends him home.

You know, he was a mate of mine before he come here.

So it's a bit difficult again, on the other hand, when I have

to have words with him and I don't really want to fall out with him.

I don't know what to do about it, really.

I'm proper pissed off at him. He's supposed to be my friend

and he's not acted like it at all recently.

I do nothing but stand up for him and nothing but respect him.

I don't really have much time for him at the moment.

I'm not coming back now. I'm just going to take my decks and go.

Theme nights are big business for the campsite

and this evening is all about Hawaii.

Bringing some Honolulu charm to the resort is young rep Izzy.

I drew a picture. Sand, leaves.

This is my first theme night

and my first time trying to arrange everything as well.

And given a responsibility.

So it should be OK.

The plan is to create a totally tropical paradise

in the clubhouse between the dance poles in the bar.

Joey and Izzy head off in search of one crucial ingredient.

-I want to get some nice, clean white kiddy play area sand.

-Yeah.

The campsite is situated just minutes away from three miles

of golden sandy beaches,

just the sort of thing they need for their transformation.

But what comes back to the clubhouse is far from golden.

Harry, come check this out!

Not only do we have only three bags of sand to turn this into a beach,

-it's used for making mortar for bricks.

-Excellent.

That's exactly what I think of when I think of Hawaii. A building site.

Hawaii in the palm of my hand.

-Is that your vision right there?

-Horse poo on the dance floor.

-You've just brought a lot of dirt into...

-But I wanted white,

children's play area sand.

This is Joey's sand.

It's not the soft sandy beaches of Hawaii,

but it is the soft sandy beaches of Europa.

-Well, let's be honest, it looks a little bit crap.

-It looks awful.

Palm tree paradise it is not.

Despite the team's doubts, Joey's determined to remain optimistic.

I think the effect looks really good actually. It looks quite cool.

It'll look quite good when we've got all the lights on it.

Palm tree paradise or not, Joey needs to keep things on track

if Hawaiian night's to be a success.

It's half past six. Just waiting for Chris to turn up.

Trying to get everything sorted, really. Still a bit behind.

And everyone's kind of going off in their different directions.

Trying to all start a million and different one tasks

and not actually finishing anything.

It's starting to annoying me.

The more revellers Joey gets in, the more cash the bar rakes in.

But the usually packed clubhouse is eerily quiet.

Co-manager Vicki wants to go out

and get the punters in but Joey disagrees.

It's not important, you know, to go and do this

running around the campsite. I know that that's what they want.

You don't think promoting is important?

I think it's important, but I can't when there's not enough staff here.

Everyone's going off in different directions

and nobody's actually completing anything.

If everyone worked together and got all the decorating done first,

get the bar done. I had half an hour off and they've done nothing.

They've done a bit of decorating but they've left the bar.

And it's still - I've been here an hour and a half -

-and it's still a mess.

-But it's going to look a mess, isn't it?

-You've got shit everywhere.

-Yeah, exactly.

But there's nothing you can do but rearrange the shit.

Yeah, but Vick, there's no need for all this shit everywhere.

He reckons he hasn't got enough staff for us

to go off promoting, but I think he's failed to notice

that the club house is actually empty and the phone isn't ringing.

So it's not essential that we have all the staff inside now.

Vicki's not the only one worried about tonight.

The rest of the team share her concerns.

Are there flamingos in Hawaii? No, is the answer.

It's like Phoenix Nights. Peter Kay's Funhouse.

Oh, yeah, it is!

It just looks crap.

There is a glimmer on the Hawaiian horizon, however.

A refreshed DJ Chris appears for work...

-Give us a smile.

-All right, mate?

-Arriving in a good mood?

-Your eyes look good.

-Positive attitude and all that.

-Of course.

Miserable bastard.

..much to the relief of Joey.

Chris has turned up.

He's all ready to work so all things are go. Happy.

But at 8pm, there's no sign of any punters.

I think maybe everyone's a bit worried now

because there's no-one in the club house.

It's just like...crap.

Vicki's had enough.

Going against Joey's wishes,

she takes matters into her own hands in a bid to get the campers in.

Ah, these are really itchy.

How are you all?

We've got a Hawaiian night tonight down at the bar.

Vicki attempts to win the punters over with some traditional

Hawaiian pastimes.

-We've got limbo, we've got Twister, cocktails.

-We've got everything.

Hopefully it'll be a good turnout.

We are definitely going to Hawaiian night, tonight.

We're going to Hawaiian night for a bit.

Woolacombe is just like Hawaii.

In fact, a little, tiny, little bit better.

As the sun sets over the resort, Vicki's promotion dash has paid off

and North Devon's answer to Honolulu is finally hotting up.

We're great promoters. Definitely our forte.

We're not really good at anything else, really, are we?

As the hula spirit takes hold...

..the revellers are well and truly getting into the Hawaiian groove.

It's now time for limbo!

Hawaiian night. Amazing. First time I've been here. I love it.

-It's better than I expected.

-Because I actually expected zero.

-Yeah.

Checking in on the action, big boss Graham

and his wife Sue make a guest appearance.

The customers are here. They seem to be enjoying it.

I think the staff made a real good effort this afternoon.

They rallied together, didn't they? And put up all the decorations.

Helped create the atmosphere.

But the biggest triumph of all is that the camp's harshest critics,

the Rotherham lads, have finally decided to join the party.

Hawaiian night is a lot better than I thought.

-A lot, lot better, innit?

-Yeah.

-There's atmosphere.

There's actually women turned up as well.

It's been a very successful night. Talking to staff and customers.

Customers have been very happy. I'm happy. Staff have been very busy.

They haven't stopped all night which is also great too.

With Joey in a good mood,

Chris attempts to make amends for this morning's misdemeanours.

If we can't laugh about it, then what can we do?

I can't laugh about it.

The DJ hopes their falling out has been forgotten.

Well, in the morning me and Joey were not on good terms, so I went home,

chilled for a bit, came back and now everything seems peachy.

But despite Chris's best efforts,

Joey remains unconvinced of his friend's commitment to the job.

He's let me down, he's let the team down and he's let Europa down.

And more importantly, he's let himself down.

Like, realistically. For three minutes of aesthetic pleasure,

now we've got nine hours of fucking solid hoovering.

He's 22 years of age, he shouldn't be playing up like this.

Hawaiian night has proved a triumph for the team,

but one successful night does not make a successful summer season.

Dark clouds are gathering on the horizon...

..as Devon is hit by a massive storm.

For the business, rain means two things.

Unhappy campers and a drop in revenue.

Even the Rotherham lads are giving in to the great British weather

and cutting short their stay.

Just getting my deposit back, we're checking out a couple of days early.

Likelihood this has affected pretty much every customer on the site

with wet tents which have flooded.

It'll probably have got in all the accommodation too,

so we've got a clean-up job on our hands now.

There is a plus side!

At least I don't have to wash my car today!

Get rid of the rain, keep the water in the sea.

-I'm happy with that.

-Yeah. I'd rather go to Ibiza.

Having to deal with disgruntled holiday-makers never makes

customer service manager Vicki happy.

If they come down and moan again, I am going to remind them

that they are glamping.

So if they want something real good then they need to pay

for a hotel rather than a little wooden shed.

I've got customers here that want to shower.

Paid £300 for 11 of them for a week.

They need to pitch up and shut up, really.

Sad campers are forced to pack up and head home.

Nowhere is safe.

I've just come round here and this has happened!

You can see it's travelling pretty fast.

That's leaking out?

We've got major issues.

All the walls are leaking and reception is like flooded.

But the Devonshire downpour certainly hasn't put off

one member of staff.

Weezel the cleaner has come to work fully prepared.

-What the hell are you wearing?

-He's got his wet suit on.

-Yes.

Just as well because he's got a big job on his hands.

Wow.

It appears to be vomit.

The horrors keep on coming... and coming.

Oh, man.

Damn. There's shit on the wall.

How do they manage that?

Not good.

I think someone was having a pretty good time in the toilet

and may have brushed against the wall.

You find a lot of shitty pants hidden behind the toilet.

They've just, basically, shit their pants and put it behind the toilet.

As the storm clouds eventually disappear,

Joey calls a staff meeting in the club house.

A decision's been made to let DJ Chris go

and Joey's worried the fall-out could affect team morale

for the remainder of the season.

I know how important it is that I tell you now

rather than you hearing it from other people.

The decision's been made today that Chris has left.

He's not going to be coming back.

Some of you that may be a bit of a shock to,

some of you might not be surprised.

It is sad but I wanted you to hear it from me

because it was me who had to let him go.

OK. You ready to go back then?

Disappointed with Joey because we were supposed to be friends.

It's probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do,

having to fire a friend.

But he's left basically on the basis that he's kind of overstepped

the mark for the last time, really.

I'll certainly miss the staff and Vicki, of course.

It did seem to turn sour between Chris and Joey

since me and Chris became good friends.

Before then, no issue was made at all of anything.

Even though him and Vicki were close,

I didn't decide I was going to keep him on because of that.

I decided that he had to go because he was just slack.

Chris is a hard worker.

He worked six days a week, not like the rest of us who live on site.

I just think he was a lot harsher on him than he needed to be.

I will miss him very much. I think it was just unfair.

It's wrong.

Next time, hijinks come to the campsite.

It's all good fun!

Relations between Joey and Vicki go from bad to worse.

Fucking prick.

And the punters get to enjoy the full 18-30s bumper Bank Holiday experience

Devon style.

Don't think I've ever been so scared in my life.