Episode 2 Who Needs Ibiza? The Great British Holiday

This programme contains strong language

Rather than heading to Ibiza, for hedonistic high jinks

some British revellers travel no further than

the West Country to get what they want.

Europa is a very British campsite

hidden away on the North Devon coast,

offering its very own British brand of 18 to 30s fun.

But the Mediterranean it certainly is not.

Bad weather's been bad for business.

I don't know why families come here.

-If you're just going to

-BLEEP

-moan, go somewhere else.

And this year needs to be a success.

In a attempt to turn fortunes round, a team of young reps

are taking over.

The biggest, the most dysfunctional family you'll ever meet.

Over one long summer,

we see them struggle to keep the resort afloat...

Hey, we've got something nasty in there.

If you run a bar you're going to get puke.

..the campers in check...

-Take the guitar away, please.

-It's a ukulele!

..and the team in line.

She takes it the wrong way, thinks I'm getting at her all the time.

Absolutely fuming.

Welcome to Europa.

OK, so it's £10 for an extra person

and then you wanted one car, yeah?

It's midway through peak season in Devon.

It's 13.50 altogether.

And having already catered for thousands of paying guests,

the reps are beginning to feel the strain.

It's so busy today.

Thank you very much, enjoy it.

But no matter how tough it gets...

Go away, you horrible beast.

..there's no time for slacking.

What's your surname?

Over the last ten years, the resort's gone from family campsite

to a budget 18 to 30s Mecca for fun-seeking revellers,

but a run of miserable British summers and the recession

has hit the holiday camp hard.

Business hasn't been at its best at all.

Basically we've been getting poorer and poorer

and we haven't spent the money on the campsite that we've needed to.

Campsite owner Graham Toms and his wife Sue are

hoping the young team of reps will help revitalise the flagging resort.

In charge of customer services is Graham's daughter,

23-year-old Vicki.

They need to pitch up and shut up, don't they, really?

There's bar and entertainments manager, 21-year-old Joey,

who's king of the theme night.

I think these records are really cool.

And behind the scenes, keeping the cogs turning,

is Sue's daughter, operations manager, Emma.

It's certainly not an easy job, I think we've got it hard.

I think we run quite a small team for the size of the campsite.

-Hello, guys.

-Hi.

Being part of the crew is as good as being one of the family,

complete with all the usual ups and downs.

-Can you go there, please?

-Can you calm down, please?

-I was told to...

It's just absolutely hectic this morning.

I only clean here to 12 o'clock.

Yeah, we're exhausted but we've got to keep the wheels turning.

Well, I'm proud of all the kids in different ways

having to deal with all these people

but they seem to be able to do it, you know, they rise to the occasion.

Really, you've got to take your hat off there.

Stop arguing!

Oh...

As well as over 60 log cabins, reserved for the more discerning guest,

there are 300 pitches on site for caravanners and campers

and, as long as the sun keeps shining,

the guests keep on coming.

-Can't beat it when the sun's out.

-Beautiful, look at that.

Look at that beautiful sky.

So we've a double bill tonight, and 9:15 is happy hour.

Checking in today is a gang of revellers

from just up the road in Somerset...

SHE SCREAMS

..looking for some 18 to 30s style fun in the sun.

We've come to Europa for Lisa's 30th.

It was on TripAdvisor as five stars.

-And just to celebrate...

-Value for money.

-..you turning 30!

The free-spirited bunch have come up with the perfect

name for their party, in honour of Lisa, the birthday girl.

Welcome to Lisafest.

Yeah, this is Lisafest!

-What's been our mission? Our mission...

-Have fun.

-Get drunk.

Have fun. Go hard or go home.

The downfall in our dynamic is that there isn't a person

who sort of stands back and says, "You honestly need to stop."

Entertainments manager Joey's got just what it takes

when it comes to inflating a bit of fun into proceedings.

You know it would be some achievement if I can actually blow them all up today.

But it would appear he's still got a fair way to go to earn the full respect of his playful workmates.

I decided to recreate Joey's alter ego.

Was it meant to be me?

It was, was it?

What are they thinking?! It's creepy.

I think I might have overkilled it on the balloons.

It's Joey's job to lure the campers into the clubhouse and get them

to splash their cash, mainly at the well-stocked bar.

And nothing works better, according to Joey, than one thing,

the theme night.

Theme nights are great, good fun,

something different, I suppose. You know, keeping the image fresh of Europa.

In Joey's rule book, the more ludicrous the theme,

the more punters turn out, the bigger the takings.

I think the effect looks really good, actually.

It will look quite good when we get all the lights on it.

Did you see him? It's a raccoon in a thong.

On occasion, Joey's madcap ideas have been known

to confuse even the punters.

I've come as Teen Wolf, we've got a meerkat, guy being eaten by a shark.

I think we've got a camp squirrel as well.

What is the theme?

You guys don't know.

I think it's '70s disco, I think.

No, it's rock 'n' roll.

No, it's balloons.

The theme's balloons? No, cos that's not a theme,

balloons are used in every celebration.

And it's not just the campers who are left puzzled by Joey's thinking.

-What is the theme?

-Vintage, I think.

Joey and his themes, he is just pulling them out of his arse, honest to God.

They are always so last-minute. Week in and week out

you don't know what's coming up next.

For this week's madness...

This is what we're looking for, these hats.

..Joey's convinced that moving a traditional Irish

celebration from mid-March to mid-summer is a genius move.

This week's theme night is my wacky idea.

I think, would it not be great to have a St Patrick's Day party in the middle of the summer?

Apparently not.

Decidedly unimpressed by Joey's Celtic choice of theme is

his co-manager, Vicki.

Lazy approach to a theme night, isn't it?

We get St Patrick's merchandise sent to us

about March time, and we never use it.

Over the years, we've built up loads and loads.

My plan was to get the boxes in reception and give them

out to people as they come in.

It's either saving money or saving a lot of time and effort

of having to come up with a new idea and go and buy all the stuff.

Joey and Vicki might share the same rank

but they don't exactly hit it off.

Mine and Joey's relationship is a love/hate relationship.

You could end up working six days.

We never used to get on and that's no word of a lie, that's the truth.

He's quite grumpy and quite short and we still have very

different opinions on how things should be done.

Vicki's a single mum and struggles to devote as much time to the business as Joey does.

I feel that everyone feels they have to tiptoe on eggshells around her at times

because she can go off on one, she's very opinionated...

Things took a turn for the worse early in the season

when Vicki's summer squeeze, resident DJ Chris, was let go.

Chris, you're having your breakfast and there is still work to be done.

Chris coming in late hasn't impressed me at all.

He's basically not pulling his weight.

I'm proper pissed off at him, he's supposed to be my friend

and he's not acted like it at all.

The decision has been made today that Chris has left.

The event has put a strain on their working relationship.

I just think he was a lot harsher on him than he needed to be.

I will miss him very much, I think it was just unfair.

it was wrong.

It's been very difficult for Vicki and me in the past.

Me and Vicki haven't always seen eye-to-eye

and we haven't always got along.

I feel as if it's just pressure that we don't need,

as a business, as colleagues.

OK, thank you, bye.

But with visitor numbers down, more than ever the two managers need

to pull together if they're to help turn the campsite's fortunes around.

But today, Vicki's got more pressing concerns.

As customer service manager, it's her job to monitor camper complaints.

It's pisses me off with the reviews.

Channelling the aggression.

What the punters have to say rarely puts Vicki in a good mood

and this morning is no exception.

It's like when families go on there, to go "not for families".

It's like, we know that, who books a 18 to 30s site with their kids

and then goes home and moans about the noise levels.

It's like, obviously it's going to be noisy,

it's an 18 to 30s campsite.

It's like going to Ibiza and going to a club and going,

"Oh, the music was loud." It pisses me off, don't know why families come here.

-If you're going to

-BLEEP

-moan go, somewhere else.

Fortunately, Joey's not one to let a bit of negativity

dampen his enthusiasm.

Do you want to do some Riverdancing?

He's determined to make his Celtic shindig a success

and has come up with the perfect publicity stunt.

The idea is we are going to dress someone up as a leprechaun,

a member of staff, with a waistcoat on and leprechaun hat,

and then we are going to strap some drink vouchers to the waistcoat

and then run around the campsite and people can chase them

and get drink vouchers. It will be quite a cool little thing.

All Joey needs is a willing volunteer to become a mythical Irish fairy.

Dom, I've got a question for you. Tomorrow night is St Paddy's night.

-Yeah.

-A little activity I would like to do, is chase the leprechaun.

What is this?

-Well, basically, we dress you up as a leprechaun.

-No.

Come with me, I've got a really good idea for you.

I'm not dressing up as a leprechaun. Please!

Who's up for being chase the leprechaun?

As the reps shirk their Celtic responsibilities

the search is narrowed down to one team member...

What are you doing?

..who possesses all the required charm.

Fuck off!

She likes a good poking.

21-year-old camp cook Becky has kept the kitchen

and everyone else in order for the last 18 months.

Don't you dare stand there and smile at me, you little shit bag!

She may be Welsh, and not Irish, but Becky's been blessed with the gift of the gab.

Boys! Get out!

Making her a natural choice for the job.

Put it down and get out. Seriously, stop piss-assing about.

It's all fun and games till I punch them in the balls!

Becky, right...

all you've got to do is run around the clubhouse

while people run after you and try and pull drink vouchers off you.

Would you dress up as a leprechaun and let people chase you?

Me, not actually asking what it involved,

was like, "Yeah, yeah, sure thing, yeah."

Get me a wig, fine.

-Becky's up for it, then.

-Yeah, get me a wig.

Wait, get me a little leprechaun outfit as well.

Yeah!

Becky's participation, however, comes with one condition.

Just get me a slutty outfit and we are fine.

-Why would you want to look like a slut?

-One like that.

-Why would you want to look like that?

-Because more people will chase me in that than in that!

Leprechaun sorted...

..the reps head out to start spreading the Celtic word.

-Hello!

-Mate, can we interest you in a St Paddy's night tonight?

-A chase the leprechaun thing from seven o'clock.

-Could be yours.

That sounds weird but we'll probably pop down.

-When's St Patrick's day, is it March?

-No, today.

-But it's not today.

-It's not today, they are just doing it because...

-Is it not today?

-No! You fucking...idiot.

-Guess what the theme is?

-Er, Disneyland.

-No.

-St Patrick's night.

-Is it really?

-That was the boss's idea.

-St Paddy's night in the middle of summer, genius isn't it(?)

Are we chasing her to twerk her?

Like that with the leprechaun, "Dance for me, dance for me, dance for me."

-Can I take a net with me?

-She's the cook here, as well,

so there won't be any food for the rest of the evening.

-Like in a sexual way? What are we doing?

-Chasing a leprechaun.

-Are we chasing...

-Is that like Gypsy grabbing?

But the luck of the Irish doesn't seem to be with the team today.

We can't spell "themed"!

Oh, that's shameful.

Just a typo, I actually didn't...

Wait till Vicki comes in, she will pick up on that straightaway.

Why don't you use spell check like everyone else?!

-I know.

-Vicki, just blow one of them.

He ignores those squiggly lines and goes, "I know better than the computer."

With the whole camp getting into the Devonshire craic...

Hi, guys!

..Joey's secret Irish weapon is revealed back at the clubhouse.

Da-dah!

The campsite sprite has finally arrived.

I think her hair looks nice.

I like it, I really do like it,

but, with the amount of men on site,

I'm not 100% sure now.

As if the shamrock chic wasn't enough,

Becky will also be adorned with free drink coupons

for the punters, appropriately named Vicki Vouchers.

I went on holiday for a week and I come back and suddenly there was

thousands of £5 notes with my face on them, when I got back.

"I promise to pay the bearer on demand,

"the sum of £5" and it's got "Graham Toms" there, "chief cashier".

And then...and then my face.

I was well excited about it to begin with, I thought, you know,

"Wow that looks all right"

and then when I started finding them with moustaches on

and cocks in my mouth, I sort of got a bit disheartened

by it all, and I asked Dad to stop printing them

but he said, "No."

It happens all the time!

I regularly find pictures of me with a cock in my mouth.

Despite Vicki's obvious disproval,

Becky the Leprechaun makes her big entrance to an enthusiastic crowd.

They were expecting like 10, 15 people.

40-odd people are out there now,

and I'm like shaking, thinking, "Oh, my God, what have I got myself into?"

I'm going to rugby tackle you.

Please don't. Please don't.

When she said she wanted to be a leprechaun and be chased,

she didn't realise how many people were going to chase her.

There was loads of people.

We are going to give Becky a head start,

because it's going to be a bit unfair.

Beck, you start running now.

Go!

I ran for dear life, and I was running and I was thinking,

"I can't hear anyone," and I slowed down a bit

to turn around and they are all chasing me.

Oh, my God, I was petrified.

I don't think I've ever ran so fast in my life.

Put her in the recovery position.

I was shaking. Oh, my God, it was fun, so much fun, but scary.

I would do it again any day, any day.

You know if we do this for every theme we have,

and I'll dress up and run around with money on me.

Now the problem is

Becky wants to be chased by a load of blokes every week,

so I'm going to have to keep an eye on that.

Happy hour!

This man is a legend in the building!

Armed with their Vicki Vouchers,

the campers head for the clubhouse in search of tonight's Irish antics.

I'm anticipating it to get absolutely manic in the clubhouse.

St Paddy is looking down on me and saying,

"Well done, Joey, that's two days I've got this year."

The reps are hoping all their hard work has paid off.

They are all eyeing you up and looking at their watches,

so my heart's going, cos I can see how many people are waiting for a drink.

We are here because it's our best friend's hen party.

I arranged it because it's

the only place that would take us in Woolacombe.

We are doing well on numbers,

I would say we are about 250, close to 300.

There's a lot on the decking, at the bar,

the clubhouse is packed, so I'm really happy.

It's hard to say if Joey's a marketing genius

or a just little bit crazy and...

Someone's just falling over down the stairs.

This isn't funny!

The Irish charm is flowing freely in the clubhouse.

On odd occasions though, what over exuberance can mean for

certain members of the team is extra toilet duties.

Got your gloves? Gloves - check.

Mop bucket - check. Dustpan and brush - check.

Black bag for me to be sick in - check.

-Are you ready?

-Let's go and fight fires.

-He's going in deep.

This hand's goin' in, boy.

Sorry, guys, excuse me, please.

We've got something nasty in there.

Sorry, guys, just give us five minutes to get this tidied up.

Comes with the business, doesn't it? If you run a bar

you are going to get puke.

Whatever the theme night, come rain or shine,

camp night warden Steve's always on duty.

At 55, Steve's one of the more mature members of the team.

It's going to be chaos here tonight.

How do people get in the state they get in?

I do not know why they do it.

Steve and his trusty buggy patrol

the 15-acre site for ten hours every night.

-Excuse me, girls.

-Good night, whoever that is.

It's the night warden. Can you calm down a bit more, please?

DRUNKEN GIBBERISH

Steve's been policing after-hours partying for nearly four years now

and takes all the revelry in his stride.

I don't understand why this coat is wet.

Sometimes they can be a bit of a pain.

Excuse me, guys, you have to start calming down, please, now.

Who said that?

-Yes.

-Steve!

-Oh, here we go.

Sometimes you get good ones, you get bad ones.

-Take the guitar away, please.

-It's a ukulele.

Whatever it is. Right, you've all got to start calming down now.

Steve, tell them to let you use the ukulele.

His softly-softly approach is normally all it takes

to calm down the campers, but there are times when Steve

needs more than just his diplomacy.

Like that... These people... That man in there,

he's just chucking himself about and like hitting the door.

-Here we go. I'll go there now.

-Thank you.

-OK.

-Thank you.

HE KNOCKS

-Have you got a key?

-No, I haven't got a key.

-Have you got a key?

No. Can you calm down, please?

-Have you got a key?

-Can you start calming down?

-Have you got a key?

-No.

-Are you something special, mate,

-have you got a key?

-No, I haven't got a key.

If I come out there, are you going to start pissing me off?

No, I'm not going to piss you off, I'm just asking you to calm down.

-You like winding me up, do you?

-I'm not winding you up.

-Are you fucking winding me up?

-Shut up!

I'll come out there and doing something. Why are you fucking winding me up?

Get the fuck off the door. Through the fucking keyhole...

All right.

..Fuck!

I will go and have a word with Joey and see what happens.

Steve is concerned about the man's behaviour

and heads back to base for support.

-Can you get the police, please?

-What's happened?

Number 36, he's kicking off and he threatened me as well.

-You want the police?

-Yeah. This ain't going to rest.

-He has to go now. You felt threatened.

-He did threaten me.

-He was abusive to you,

-he has to go.

-Police, please.

That one there. That one there. He's gone to bed.

As the cops arrive, campsite boss Graham appears

to find out for himself what's been going on.

He said, "If you don't move away, I'll smack your head in."

I know what you are saying, you are trying to do your job, but...

Yeah, whatever. Fuck it, I'll...

This window wasn't broke when I first came to see you.

-No, right.

-Just chill out, yeah?

I will give you the money for it now,

it's not like I give you shit, is it?

Yeah, if you didn't give me abuse, I wouldn't call the police.

If you want to make out that I gave you abuse,

I'll give you fucking abuse now.

The man is taken away by the officers

allowing Steve to get on with his rounds

and the camp to finally get some sleep.

As a new day dawns over a peaceful camp, last night's events are

the only topic of conversation amongst the team.

You're an arsehole. Why would you do that?

I really can't get it into my head why people enjoy coming here,

getting absolutely wasted and smashing things up!

What is the fun in that? Seriously, I don't get all that.

People piss me off.

It obviously has caused a bit of a disturbance cos it's just not good

and he's got no consideration whatsoever for anybody else.

This is the second time I've had to call the police in three years.

When it got daylight and I'd seen the state of the cabin, I thought,

"Sugar! Did that happen, really?"

Cos when it's pitch dark, you can't see a thing,

I only had a torch at the time, and I thought,

"He must be mad."

No matter what might be going on around the site, for the

holiday-makers it's always just another morning in paradise as camp

cook Becky's all-you-can-eat fry-ups roll off the production line.

At a busy sitting,

Becky can serve up a whopping 2,200 rashers of bacon, sausages and eggs.

I'm fed up of cooking it. By the end of the week I'm like,

"Don't even show me it, I'm fed up of it now."

But there's one great British staple that Becky's not so keen on.

I have a phobia of baked beans.

Cos they are disgusting.

Dom! He put a bean down my back, please get it out.

Please, can you get it out? Please, just get the bean out.

I can feel it, it's down my back.

Oh, my God. Argh!

Oh, thanks, hon.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

There's a bean down my back. Just get it out for me.

I'm really sweating now.

-Please make sure it doesn't go any further.

-I got it!

It's not even funny, it's a fucking phobia.

The morning after the night before,

it's not unusual to find delicate campers hanging out in

the clubhouse in search of fodder.

"Do you want tea or coffee?" "Yes, please."

Yeah, when they are like toddlers,

and it's like, "Do you want hot drinks or cold drink?" "Juice."

Cos they are so hung-over.

Among those hoping that a full English breakfast

will put their hangovers to right are Lisafest.

But it's not only their heads that are throbbing this morning.

I don't know where it's come from.

The pole dancing. But I started to bruise ever so slightly.

UDI - unidentified drinking injury.

Despite their war wounds,

the birthday boozers have absolutely no regrets.

Amazing. She's going to get Europa tattooed on her ass.

Joey's mid-summer St Patrick's night celebrations

attracted a healthy crowd.

Despite the team's reservations, the entertainments manager seems to have

well and truly pulled it off.

It's been a long time since I've seen a night this good,

turned out to be a genius idea. The proof is in the pudding,

and if we have a successful night on the bar,

and we've taken good takings,

Graham's happy, I'm obviously doing something right.

Eight Smirnoff, two JD, six Gordon's...

While Joey's riding high,

his co-manager Vicki isn't having such a good day.

She's struggling to juggle the demands of the job

while also being a single parent.

I can't do my job any more.

It's too much for me, it's too much to do

and everything that I've got to do, and be a mum as well.

It's too much.

I think it's just getting on top of her now, work weekends,

work down the shop as well till three in the morning.

I think Vicki should cut down her hours.

Constantly every day, her phone's ringing. When she's at home

and she has her screaming child, "Mummy,"

and she's trying to answer the phone as well, take bookings,

with Riley doing this, that and the other, it's going to be stressful.

Vicki thinks she's found a solution to all her problems,

but the big boss, who's also her dad,

-is having none of it.

-I asked for a demotion...

..and it was declined.

And I spoke to Dad to begin with...

..and he got a bit angry at me.

If she thinks that's the answer, it isn't.

The answer is you've got to stick with it, you've really have.

They don't have to answer the phone,

I have to do it all myself.

At full capacity, the resort can accommodate 1,200 campers.

On a busy weekend, fitting everyone in can be a bit of a challenge.

I'm a bit scared we'll run out of space tomorrow.

We like to pack them in, guide lines connected together.

-Sardines.

-One tent props up the other one.

Today, it's up to team leader Josh to ensure that

every inch of turf is used.

Two cars on the end there, can you just move them onto the gravel

on the end here, so we can use that grass for other people?

If we can just get the tents as tight as possible,

and the cars tight to those tents, like I say,

there's 1,000 people coming and I don't know where I'll put them.

Hiya, you couldn't just move your car out the way

so I can get some more people in here, could you, please?

Would you be happy there? Trying to cram everyone in

cos there's 1,000 people here this weekend.

That's one big machine, bigger than my house.

METALLIC CLANKING

Happy hour!

When it comes to keeping the campers happy, it's all about teamwork.

But tonight, the reps appear to be one woman down.

Vicki's nowhere to be found.

-She's on the rota, isn't she?

-Is she?

-Think she is.

-Someone said she wasn't in tonight.

Vicki didn't turn up on Saturday night.

If you are not popping in any time soon,

just give us a text or call back.

I was pissed right off to the point

where I thought, "Fuck this, why am I even here?"

And I think basically her whole persona towards me

has been poor and her behaviour is just childish

and she, basically should have a look at herself, cos at

the end of the day I don't care if she's the boss's daughter, I deserve

a certain amount of respect.

The next day and Joey's on the warpath.

He's still smarting after Vicki's no-show last night,

and meets with camp co-owner Sue to discuss the matter.

I need to talk to you about Vicki.

She was meant to be here last night.

She was meant to be here.

-Yeah.

-Is she on the rota?

-Yeah, six o'clock till...

But at the camp, news travels fast.

Vicki's got wind that Joey's been telling tales and she's not happy.

I don't expect him to go round acting like he didn't know nothing

about it, start kicking off that I'm not in work

when he knew full fucking well I wasn't.

I think he's got some sort of illness where he goes round

giving people nights off and then claims he didn't.

The situation was me and Joey had a conversation

and we agreed that I was not coming into work the following day

and that he would be locking up the shop for me.

And then the next day it just went...

and he completely forgot that we'd even had that conversation.

Absolutely fuming.

He turned around and said that in front of Sue

and Becky said he keeps doing shit like this.

He just needs to stop trying to make himself look better

than everyone, cos he's not.

It wasn't an issue, she got told she could have the evening off by Joey,

made it an issue in front of Sue

and he does that a lot, which is really pissing me off.

The more I talk about it, the more I want to smash his face into a kerb.

"If I said I didn't, I didn't.

"I'm not even having this, don't even talk to me like that.

"I'd never talk to you like it. I've not been slagging you off.

"I locked up the Spar, it was on the rota you finished at 12.

"You didn't even talk to me when you left."

Just bullshit.

I responded too, "you fucking did say I could. Fuck this."

I'm not sure exactly what I said,

I believe it would probably be a grey area, I didn't mean to,

and I'll stand by that,

I did never mean to give her the night off.

He pretended he knew nothing about it, that's what pissed me off.

He's gone bad-mouthing me in front of Sue,

"Oh, why didn't Vicki turn up?" It's like he had no idea. Argh!

The way I look at it is,

I've got more things to worry about and bigger fish to fry

than worry about Vicki and her little tantrum.

I'm done with him now, actually fucking done with him.

She takes it the wrong way, she thinks that

-I'm getting at her all the time.

-He's a fucking prick.

The resort's biggest weekend of the season, without a doubt,

is August bank holiday.

This year, it's even more important than ever.

I don't actually know where the sheet is.

Years of soggy British summers has seen a downturn in business

and visitor numbers are in decline.

Issy, darling, where's the sheet about who's doing what?

I thought you took it home.

I didn't. August bank holiday is our most important weekend,

the past two weeks have been a bit down, really.

We really want this summer to count for us and it all really hinges on

-this bank holiday.

-Yeah, baby!

These three days need to be a financial success.

The team are gearing up for a hectic time.

We've only got three or four cabins left, ain't we?

Yeah, so we are pretty much fully booked in terms of accommodation.

Reception is going to be pretty crazy.

For Europa it's a bit like Christmas for the shops,

it's your busiest time of the year and it just goes absolutely nuts

and boom time really.

BOTTLES SMASH

But there's one member of the team missing.

Following her misunderstanding with Joey, Vicki's taken herself off to

the resort's sister campsite a mile up the road.

She's got her two-year-old son Riley with her,

but her day's not exactly going well, she's forgotten her keys.

Lovely, can you pick up Turnpike's keys for me

and bring them up with you?

Don't tell anyone I've forgotten them, just grab them sneakily.

And can you do it as soon as possible as I'm up here now

and I can't do anything until I get in.

To get into the little green hut thing.

Unable to get into the office,

Vicki's forced to check people in alfresco.

I feel really stupid.

That's all right.

Sat on my car bonnet.

-Hiya.

-All right. Sorry.

Lucky for Vicki,

it's not long before her knight in shining armour arrives.

Daniel is here to save the day.

I got him to sneakily take the keys from the office,

so that no-one knew I forgot them, and deliver them to me.

Everything's gone wrong this morning,

it's just been one thing after another, this morning,

I've not been a happy Vicki.

Riley?

Down the road, Joey's got no choice but to put the feud behind him.

It's up to him and the rest of the team to make sure that this

weekend pulls in the punters and the pounds and goes without a hitch.

PHONE RINGS

-..4JG.

-How long would you like to stay for?

As predicted, the holiday park's busy with the bank holiday rush.

Reception was really stressful, just constant, constant, constant.

It was just mental, it was so busy, literally my eye was twitching

and I felt like I was going to pull my hair out.

Although they live just two hours away in Bristol,

Gavin and his mates have made a bank holiday Devonshire pilgrimage

to enjoy a post-uni reunion.

There's a wasp in camp.

But this weekend,

it's not just platonic fun and frolics that Gavin's after.

Don't know what all the fuss was about, really.

If I pull, I pull. From past experiences, I probably won't.

I ain't going anywhere near that campsite any more.

If I find love...

..then I find it, but if not, there's always a strip club.

Ten minutes up the hill,

Vicki and son Riley are also settling into proceedings,

but the customer service manager is fast discovering that this empire

isn't quite up to her usual standards.

So, this is my office.

I've got my till, here I have some paperwork to be done.

Back from July. There's no internet!

What is a girl supposed to do without any internet?

What's a girl supposed to do, eh, Ri?

I've brought a book instead, that should see me through.

The biggest night of the year's just a day away

and Joey realises he needs to persuade Vicki back into his camp.

With operations manager Emma for support,

he decides it's time to put an end to their Cold War.

-She's either going to...

-Storm off.

..storm off and won't even talk to me up there,

probably won't even bother, or she will accept it

and we will talk about it. She's just not going to be easy.

Vicki?

There I was cleaning the toilets, Marigolds on, doing me thing,

scrubbing a bit of shit.

-You in here?

-Yeah.

-Can we talk about this?

-What?

You think he would've waited until

I'd come down to drop off the money from Bay View or something,

and gone, "Vik, can I have a word a minute?"

But no, to hunt me down whilst I'm cleaning the toilets.

But it does turn out it's a grey area.

And so then I do need to apologise to you.

You're actually swallowing your pride?

I am swallowing my pride and if I'm wrong in some way,

I'm not going to deny it, am I?

Why do we carry on like this? We're as bad as each other, aren't we?

-No, no, no.

-Just to clarify, I admit some responsibility.

-All responsibility.

-I admit that I could have been wrong, yes.

That you WERE wrong.

OK, I admit that...

While the knowledge I've been given is correct, I'm wrong. Yes.

And that took me by surprise, very much so, because it's very

unlike Joey to back down and admit that he was wrong.

He didn't want to admit that he was wrong. I did have to force it out of him.

But he said it and that's enough.

Um, I would hug you back, but, you know...

If you had any revenge, you probably would have!

I know things are all right, now.

Joey's pulled out all the stops to win Vicki over but has he done

enough to tempt her back in time for the all-important bank holiday weekend?

Will you still work for us?

-Pardon?

-Will you still come and work for us?

Have you come and apologised so that I work tonight and tomorrow night?

It's not that at all.

No, it's not that at all

but I didn't want that to be an excuse for why you weren't doing it.

-What are you asking me to do now?

-We're not. We're not.

I'm not asking you to do anything. Not at all.

It was a general question.

Despite Joey's best efforts, Vicki decides not to work the weekend

but is overjoyed she's got one over on her co-manager at last.

Well, I'm well happy. I've got an apology.

Who wouldn't be happy about that?

Head of entertainment Joey loves nothing more than a good

old-fashioned theme party.

One thing he's rarely short of is inspiration.

More cheap stuff from China, Joey's brought!

And for the resort's final big weekend of the season,

he's gone for something out of this world. Tonight is alien night.

They are going to tear this place right up tonight.

Never one to miss a moneymaking opportunity,

Joey's decided to capitalise on the intergalactic costume market.

Tinfoil. It's just ordinary kitchen foil used for cooking

but we've got a space party going on

so I've got some new ideas to rebrand the product.

The first one being - not kitchen foil, space foil.

Joey's ideas are kind of worrying.

And then we're going to have a cosmic coat in a box.

Sometimes he does have good ideas and other times,

it's like, "Are you serious?"

I don't know where I'm going to put that. I'm going to put it there.

I think it just goes to show how, you know, this brain works for me.

It totally works differently to other people's brains.

Who in their right mind is at work and thinks, "Foil - let's change it"?

One camper who is entering into the outer-space spirit

is Gavin from Bristol.

Joey's cosmic foil could be just what he's looking for.

Ah, space coat. Ah!

Gavin's hoping a far-out costume will attract the ladies

and improve his chances of meeting the woman of his dreams.

Some kitchen foil to use to wrap around me as a space suit,

like an astronaut and then I've got some space gloves,

apparently, to wear as my space gloves,

and then, nothing around my head because I couldn't find anything big

enough to fit around my head but I've made an effort, so it's

more than some people, so hopefully it should impress a few ladies.

You never know what could happen.

When it comes to theme nights, Joey's big on creating the right atmosphere.

So we enter planet Europa.

And tonight, he's really pushed the boat out.

This is where the aliens get their groove on and so we've got some grooving poles up there.

All the different solar systems and stars.

And this is where the aliens come in and buy their drinks from.

But creating a theme night on a budget requires a certain level of imagination.

This is space fluff, a disgustingly huge space monster.

It's looking very... Christmassy, I would say.

This is like alien tentacles coming out of the bar,

taking over. They're going, "Woooooo!"

Oh, bollocks.

As Joey's planets begin to align, the countdown to alien night begins.

And what better way to kick it off than a space hopper race,

hosted by appropriately attired night watchman Steve.

It's all good fun. I hope it comes off.

Can I interest you in free drinks, guys?

With a chance to get their hands on some valuable Vicki Vouchers,

there's everything for the campers to play for...

-Fancy winning yourself some drinks?

-Yeah!

..as the coupons mean free booze at the clubhouse.

Three, two, one, go. Go!

No!

Come on!

Come on, lads!

Go on!

No! That's disqualified!

He's not hopping!

LAUGHTER

Go on!

Yeah!

Anybody else?

Your drink voucher.

Great fun. They love it.

Ah...

It's a Vicki Voucher.

It's worth breaking my leg for a fiver.

Cheers, boys! Yeah!

As the sun sets over Devon's north coast,

the final frontier's finally here for Joey.

Tonight needs to be a success.

What he needs is record takings at the bar,

but the doubts are already beginning to creep in.

It's the Saturday of bank holiday

and I expect it to be absolutely heaving tonight.

I'm already prepping the staff, just telling them,

"Stay on that bloody bar, let's get tonight over with."

Wanting them all to have a great time, really pushing tonight,

you know, trying to iron out any little problems

so we can work our arses off tonight and make it work.

It's going to be hell.

It's going to be hell, it's going to be fun,

and we're... It is the big thing, it's going to be fun

and we're just going to have a great time doing it.

I'm feeling ready, I'm feeling prepared...

-Ready to get laid!

-I'll take on any... Yeah, ready to get laid.

Bristolian Gavin's decided tonight's the night he's going to pull

and he's come up with a rather unique costume.

Er, whatever I get, I get.

Whatever I don't get is usual.

I've known him for three years now

and he's never got lucky.

THEY LAUGH

Give him a metal willy! Please!

Yeah!

That's all we've got.

Gavin's finally realised what he's been missing all this time

is a LITTLE something to impress the ladies.

I could poke them and they'd be like, "Look at this! Woo-hoo!"

And they could either slap me, or they can go...

"You've got some balls on you,"

and I'll be like, "Yeah, my name's Gavin. What planet are you from?"

MOS EISLEY CANTINA MUSIC FROM STAR WARS PLAYS

Campers from another universe are descending on the clubhouse,

greeted by Steve, whose new look is creating quite a stir.

Come on, Steve, put your arm round me.

Ah, Steve, you look fit.

Steve the alien.

But he's totally upstaged by one particularly cosmic outfit.

Astronaut. I'm an astronaut!

An astronaut?

He comes from Ur-anus.

STEVE LAUGHS Ur-anus!

Lucky for Gavin, he's not the only camper

to have embraced the interplanetary theme.

What the fucking...?!

CLANGING Woo-hoo! Happy hour!

Happy hour means two-for-one drinks at the bar,

and the team are struggling to keep up with the demand.

Very busy. It's busy in the house!

Gavin's managed to moonwalk his way through the crowd

and his space-age moves caught the eye of one female alien.

I think it's amazing. He definitely deserves a free drink.

While theme night's in full swing at the campsite,

on the other side of town, Vicki's enjoying a night out

with her summer squeeze, Chris.

Does my hair look all right, though?

-Uh?

-Does my hair look all right?

-Yeah, of course.

It was strange cos I would have liked to have, you know...

shared the whole experience with her.

For me, it felt like the old Europa was back,

so it was like reminiscing on older times

and me and Vicki shared a lot of happy times,

having a good laugh at work back in those days.

And she kind of missed out on all that.

I don't really feel much... Missing out on alien night,

I'm grateful I don't have to paint myself green.

No, you'd love to paint yourself green

and do your hair all big.

Yeah, no, I was up for painting myself. I'm a little bit gutted.

-We could look at the cameras.

-Yeah, let's do that, get the CCTV on.

-Shit.

-Oh, my God.

It's black and white, but you can see how busy it is.

Do you know what? I'm a little bit gutted, cos I would like to be there

cos I like it when it's busy.

MUSIC: "Summertime Sadness" by Lana Del Rey and Cedric Gervais

THEY CHEER

I'm having an amazing time.

We're having a fucking amazing time!

Woo-hoo!

Although the night's far from over,

a nervous Joey can't wait any longer and tots up the takings so far.

It's midnight and I'm just doing my midnight totals at the moment.

And I was looking for six grand earlier.

We've made that six grand.

We're at 6,200, so I've now upped it to seven now,

so let's see if we can get that!

It's been a really buzzing night, everyone's having a great time,

but seven will be a record, so we've got to get it.

The clubhouse might be buzzing,

but Gavin the alien student has given up the ghost.

Mission partly accomplished by getting a free drink

-from the barmaid.

-Was it the hot barmaid?

Which one's the hot one?

No, no, no, not the one with the nice arse.

There's one with a nice arse, a nice blonde one,

and a nice... There's...

Well, all the barmaids here are pretty tidy.

-So I got...

-"Pretty tidy"?

-They are, they are.

-They're fucking top-notch bar staff.

-Oh, good God!

My mission so far has been delayed.

-A little bit.

-But I don't think it's going to end in success

but it never ends in success.

Last orders at the bar, please! Last orders! Thank you!

Alien night is over,

and there's one earthly question the team want answered -

have they managed to reach their target takings?

Yeah, did we break a record today?

-We did.

-Did we actually?

Well and truly broke the record, mate. I'm chuffed to bits.

Six grand would have been a record for us.

Seven!

-Did we actually? Let's see.

-Honest to God, look at that.

My sources haven't confirmed it yet,

but there are many rumours circulating

that we have indeed broken the record.

Time for Joey to break the good news to the reps.

Guys. Really, really chuffed

and you should all be really pleased with yourself.

-How much did we take?

-Seven grand on the bar.

I'm a pro at this. Could do this all day.

We haven't had it for a few years - the recession hit us and...

No, but it's back. It feels as if Europa's back

and ready to part-ay!

Cheers, everyone!

-ALL:

-Cheers!

Unlucky-in-love Gavin's galactic weekend has finally reached its climax

and he's reluctantly heading back to his former life.

-End of the holiday.

-End of the holiday.

-Sad times.

I didn't think it was possible to miss an actual, real bed so much.

-When I get back, I'll probably conk out for a bit.

-Yeah.

I'll be back out again tonight, got tomorrow off so...

-Got tomorrow off, so back out again.

-Back out again tonight, hopefully.

-Try and find love!

-Try and find love in Bristol.

Which is what I do every weekend but it doesn't work.

With the last big weekend of the season done,

things are winding down for the reps.

Apart from Vicki,

who's been called to a meeting with her father, Graham,

and operations manager, Emma, to clear the air,

and get her back into the camp.

Have you decided what you want to do now, Toms?

Last time we talked, you were down in the dumps, miserable,

everything was going against you, had a bad day...

-Bad summer.

-..wanting to pack it all in.

Are you in a better frame of mind now?

Oh, you know I'm in a better mood.

I don't know why we are having this conversation.

You all know I just said it cos I was pissed off and angry.

We do need you and when you're doing the job,

you are doing a great job,

but when you're...being a bit dramatic about things,

things go to pot, don't they?

You basically just want me to admit that I've been dick

and I'm struggling to do that.

You said yourself that you'd been "acting out" in the last two weeks.

Yeah, I know. Literally, I am finding it difficult this year.

It's my first year as...

without Riley's dad and it's...hard.

I think it's more my personal issues,

and I'm just taking my anger out on everyone else,

that's all it is.

Well, hopefully you won't carry on bringing these personal problems to work.

-Come on, kid, smile.

-I am smiling!

There you go.

And it's not only Vicki who's looking to the future.

The team are beginning to think about life after the summer.

I'm pretty knackered, to be honest.

I'm not looking forward to going back to uni, actually.

I've only got two weeks left and I'm like, "Oh, God."

What are you doing after the summer? Are you staying here?

I'll be here as long for as they need me, then I'll go back.

We've had a great season.

We had record numbers this bank holiday.

They've certainly come up with the goods, that's for sure.

Must be good if he's got a smile on his face.

As the sun sets over the bay...

That's a nice one.

..the team get one last chance to let their hair down.

Seven! Six! Five!

# Wake me up when it's all over... #

It's been a pleasure, see you soon.

After spending the entire summer as one big, happy family,

the reps have become more than just colleagues.

Ha-ha! Woo-hoo!

It's been good fun, Harry.

Together, they've been through the good times...

Steve, we've got you a little present.

Oh, my word!

..and the bad.

Pretended that he knew nothing about it, that's what's pissed me off.

Happy times...

How are you all? We've got Hawaiian night tonight.

Oi!

..and sad.

Bastards!

Times they'll always remember...

THEY LAUGH

..and times they'd rather forget.

Damn. There's shit on the wall.

But, for one rep, the end-of-season party's a bittersweet affair.

I'm completely heartbroken that everyone's leaving.

Oh!

I'm going to miss everyone so much, like, it's unbelievable.

This year has been one of the best years...

so far.

It's just been the best summer, it really, really has.

Everything, even like the bad times.

See you next year!

Just had an amazing summer, and met some amazing people.

It's been good, it's been awesome, the whole thing. Absolute joy.

Got this for you, a present.

-I got you a present.

-We all share.

Every summer, we always need the summer to count

and, over the last few years, we haven't done amazingly great,

but we've still managed to be here the following year.

I've really enjoyed it and I've had my...moments,

but it's been a really good summer, in my eyes.

One of the best ones yet.

Just like to thank you for a great summer. You know...

Bottoms up, guys!

Cheers!

# We love, Joey, we do

# We love you, Joey, we do

# Oh, Joey, we love you! #

This summer has been great fun, a lot of hard work and really tiring

but I'm so glad it's been successful.

Bring on next summer!