Pennod 1 Anita


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LineFromTo

-Subtitles

0:00:000:00:01

-Last time on Anita...

0:00:010:00:03

-Mam and me went up to Anglesey,

-to Bedwyr, Vivs and Dylan's.

0:00:030:00:09

-It was obvs

-that Mam and Beds were in lurve...

0:00:090:00:13

-..and that Mam

-was finally over Mike Ranieri...

0:00:130:00:16

-..my dad, who by the way

-I've never seen.

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-In the Ship the night before

-Cledwyn and Dandan's wedding...

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-..Beds said he wanted Mam

-to stay with him.

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-But Mam had decided to stay anyway,

-so, yay!

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-Oh, and also in the Ship,

-Dei conked out, Stan found Elvis...

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-..and Eirian Dolwen,

-who'd always had a thing for Beds...

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-..hooked up with Hippy Clive!

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-Then, on the morning

-of the wedding, guess what?

0:00:400:00:44

-Amore mio, Anita.

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-Mike.

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-Did you see that?

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-My dad, like.

-The one I never seen before.

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-By the door. What?!

0:01:220:01:24

-OK then! Yo, dudes!

0:01:240:01:27

-Dudes? You've never said that word

-before, have you?

0:01:270:01:30

-Course he hasn't.

-What's the matter with you?

0:01:300:01:34

-Nothing. All good in the hood.

0:01:340:01:36

-Bedwyr. Why are you being crazy?

0:01:360:01:38

-Crazy? I'm not crazy.

0:01:390:01:40

-I'm just excited for this wedding,

-aren't I?

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-Pumped up! Yo!

0:01:450:01:46

-How's your leg?

0:01:530:01:54

-My leg?

0:01:540:01:55

-Yeah, the one you broke.

0:01:560:01:57

-You came to the hospital

-and then met me.

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-I don't really know

-why I'm talkin' about your leg.

0:02:000:02:03

-It's OK.

0:02:030:02:04

-It's hurts a bit when it's cold.

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-But in Italy we don't...

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-Yeah, when I say how's your leg

-what I mean is...

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-Why are you here?

0:02:120:02:13

-After what, 20 years?

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-How did you know I was here?

-It was Vicky, wun't it?

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-The last time I saw you,

-you was ready to deliver a pizza...

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-..to that vicar in Penarth

-with the glass eye and the cockatoo.

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-You swore blind you was gonna bring

-back a pepperoni but you never did.

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-I was peckish after an hour

-and a half. Then I got worried.

0:02:310:02:34

-He's panicking about something.

-He talks weird when he's panicking.

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-I broke my wrist when I was seven.

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-He fist-pumped the paramedic

-and said, "Safe, man."

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-It hurt more

-than the hairline crack.

-

-caryl eisiau that yn lle it ond wpm yn uchel

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-Bedwyr, why are you panicking?

0:02:460:02:48

-Bedwyr, why are you panicking?

-

-Panicking? I'm not panicking.

0:02:480:02:50

-Well, yes, I am a little.

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-We don't want to be late.

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-So we better go. Come on.

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-Through the back door.

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-Through the back door.

-Through the garage.

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-There's less carpet there. Fluff.

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-Bedwyr,

-I've got vol-au-vents to stuff.

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-I need to put my tights on

-and that takes 15 minutes.

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-Two pairs of knickers

-and one pantee girdle.

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-Babes!

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-Oh, babes!

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-I'll go. Stay here.

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-We was supposed to go and see

-Independence Day that night.

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-I still haven't seen it, and I can't

-watch nothin' with Will Smith in it.

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-It reminds me of that night.

-Not even Shark Tale.

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-I was in such a state

-they had to put me on Prozac.

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-I had to stop them sharpish cos...

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-I had to stop them sharpish cos...

-

-Cos she was having me, obvs.

0:03:340:03:36

-Go on, Mam, tell him!

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-Anita, I have to tell you something.

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-Wha'? Good. Wha'?

0:03:420:03:44

-Ah, come on!

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-I was about to become a father.

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-Yeah, you were. Hang on... Wha'?

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-In Italy.

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-In Italy.

-

-Oh...

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-Oh!

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-Have that for your nerves.

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-Want one?

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-Want one?

-

-Me? No.

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-My nerves are fine.

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-PHONE RINGS

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-So, you and Eirian Dolwen

-were, like, lovers?

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-Yeah.

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-I was her forbidden fruit.

-And now she's left me.

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-She said something

-about a tin lid and Patagonia...

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-..but I never thought she'd go.

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-She loved my long mutation.

-She started giving me Welsh lessons.

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-Private, like. And if I did alright,

-she'd give me treats.

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-Usually on top of The Welsh

-Dictionary for added pleasure.

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-Gross.

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-Gross.

-

-She'll come back, won't she, Bedwyr?

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-Eh? Yeah.

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-Doesn't matter. Let's go, yeah?

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-Bedwyr.

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-I can't face

-being Cledwyn's best man today!

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-HE SINGS IN CANTONESE

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-# La, la, la, la. Hoi!

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-# La, la, la, la. Hoi! #

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-"To whoever finds this note.

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-"It's time to go.

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-"I leave my heart in Anglesey...

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-"..in the hands of a man whose heart

-he has given to another."

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-OK, I didn't get any of that.

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-OK, I didn't get any of that.

-

-Poor Clive.

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-Sounds like she's gone

-to the other side of the world.

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-I know.

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-I know.

-

-Nice one!

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-Right, I know. We'll go, shall we?

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-It's yuckie here, innit?

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-It's yuckie here, innit?

-

-Beds!

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-Clive's totes devastates.

-We can't go right now.

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-Crikey. It's weird what goes on

-right under our noses, isn't it?

0:05:500:05:53

-Before I came to Wales,

-there was a girl in my town.

0:05:550:05:59

-Natalia.

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-Was that the name of the town

-or the girl?

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-It's the girl. Sorry, carry on.

0:06:030:06:04

-It's the girl. Sorry, carry on.

-

-I'd known Natalia all my life.

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-But we were never, you know...

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-But one night...

0:06:100:06:11

-But one night...

-

-You was.

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-Well, we did.

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-The next day, I come to Cardiff

-to help Uncle Umberto set up...

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-The Leanin' Tower of Pizza.

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-The Leanin' Tower of Pizza.

-

-Yes.

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-You know the rest.

-The motorbike, leg, you, me.

0:06:210:06:27

-Then I get a call from Papa...

0:06:280:06:31

-Then I get a call from Papa...

-

-I don't wanna know no more.

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-Hang on! We do!

0:06:330:06:34

-OK, I'll tell you.

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-Appaz, Natalia was, like, so havin'

-a baby, like, any minute...

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-..but she hadn't told anybody

-cos of the shame and stuff.

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-In the nineties, in Italy...

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-..you weren't supposed to have

-babies if you weren't married.

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-So, oops. Mike had to get married.

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-But I never loved her.

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-And she never loved me.

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-And since last year,

-we are divorced.

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-Anita.

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-I never stopped...

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-I never stopped...

-

-DOORBELL

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-Yay!

0:07:130:07:15

-The button holes are here!

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-Well done, Dei. Top man.

0:07:170:07:19

-Well done, Dei. Top man.

-

-Why is he panicking?

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-Oh, here's where the 'best man' is.

0:07:220:07:25

-Where d'you want these then?

0:07:250:07:27

-Don't worry about me,

-the poor little usher.

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-I've only spent the last hour and

-a half in Hilda Flowers' shop...

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-..while this one's sitting here

-drinking...

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-..brandy.

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-And I've taken Goodison to Cledwyn's

-and dressed her and everything.

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-Some of us have got other people

-in our lives to think about.

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-Dei, that's enough.

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-Dei, that's enough.

-

-Sorry, Vivs.

0:07:500:07:51

-Yeah, Eirian Dolwen's dumped him.

0:07:520:07:54

-Yeah, Eirian Dolwen's dumped him.

-

-Eirian Dol...?

0:07:540:07:55

-She's upped sticks

-and gone to Patagonia.

0:07:550:07:58

-But her heart is still here.

-In someone else's hands.

0:07:580:08:01

-Oh, Bedwyr, is it?

-Yeah, she's fancied him for years.

0:08:010:08:04

-Look what you've done now!

0:08:050:08:06

-Look what you've done now!

-

-By the way, where's my mum?

0:08:060:08:08

-Yeah, where is she? Bedwyr?

0:08:080:08:11

-What?

0:08:120:08:13

-Where's my mum?

0:08:130:08:15

-Well, you know...

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-You're weird.

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-It were you!

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-Did you marry?

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-No.

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-Children?

0:08:340:08:35

-No.

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-Mum.

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-There you are.

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-There you are.

-

-Except that one.

0:08:400:08:41

-Alright?

0:08:420:08:43

-Alright?

-

-Hello. Mike Ranieri.

0:08:430:08:45

-Like...

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-Dad?

0:08:510:08:52

-Dad?

0:08:560:08:57

-Oh, yeah...

0:08:580:08:59

-.

0:09:050:09:06

-Subtitles

0:09:100:09:10

-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

0:09:100:09:12

-Oh.

0:09:200:09:21

-You've all met each other then.

0:09:210:09:23

-Great...

0:09:250:09:26

-Yes.

0:09:280:09:29

-Right, we'll go then, shall we?

0:09:310:09:34

-You OK, Jools?

0:09:450:09:47

-Yeah... My dad's in the front room.

0:09:480:09:52

-Leave her be for a minute. Come on.

0:09:580:10:00

-You mess with Bedwyr,

-you mess with me, got it?

0:10:010:10:05

-Got it.

0:10:050:10:06

-Got it.

-

-Who's the best man now?

0:10:060:10:07

-You, Dei, honestly!

0:10:070:10:08

-I didn't want to be best man anyway.

0:10:090:10:11

-I just didn't understand

-what Cledwyn was saying.

0:10:110:10:14

-I just thought he was asking me

-for a game of draughts.

0:10:140:10:17

-If you want to fight, go outside.

-Go on! Shoo!

0:10:180:10:22

-Sorry, Vivs.

0:10:220:10:22

-Sorry, Vivs.

-

-Sorry, Vivs.

0:10:220:10:23

-There you are.

0:10:300:10:32

-I'm sorry. I had no idea

-he was gonna just land like that.

0:10:340:10:37

-Well, we all have to

-expect the unexpected in this world.

0:10:380:10:42

-But he would choose now,

-wouldn't he.

0:10:420:10:44

-I haven't decorated my flans yet.

0:10:450:10:47

-Ha! Flans...

0:10:480:10:49

-So is that girl who called me Dad

-my daughter?

0:11:030:11:06

-Yes.

0:11:080:11:09

-Yes. I think she is, you know.

0:11:090:11:12

-D'you... Are you hungry?

0:11:130:11:16

-I'm sure we've got a pizza

-in the freezer. Stuffed crust.

0:11:160:11:21

-Alright?

0:11:290:11:30

-Why was my mam hiding him?

0:11:320:11:35

-Well...

0:11:370:11:38

-That's what parents are like.

0:11:420:11:44

-They're hopeless.

0:11:450:11:47

-But maybe

-she didn't want to upset you today.

0:11:490:11:53

-I mean, you have put three layers

-of mascara on, haven't you?

0:11:540:11:58

-You know...

0:11:580:11:59

-What am I supposed to do, Dyl?

0:12:000:12:02

-You'll just have to talk to him.

0:12:030:12:06

-I'm scared.

0:12:070:12:07

-I'm scared.

-

-Why?

0:12:070:12:08

-Because it's scary!

0:12:090:12:10

-What if I don't like him?

-What if he doesn't like me?

0:12:110:12:14

-Why wouldn't he like you?

0:12:140:12:16

-Everybody likes you.

0:12:170:12:18

-But, what if he really likes you...

0:12:200:12:23

-..and you really like him?

0:12:240:12:26

-You might be on the first plane

-to Toronto.

0:12:280:12:31

-Dunno.

0:12:330:12:34

-And I'm pretty sure

-Toronto's not in Italy.

0:12:360:12:38

-Well, whatever happens, it's not

-going to change anything is it?

0:12:400:12:44

-No?

0:12:450:12:46

-Dylan?

0:12:490:12:51

-Can I put mascara on you sometime?

-Your eyelashes are lush.

0:12:520:12:56

-Ladies...

0:12:570:12:58

-Ladies and...

0:12:590:13:01

-HE SPEAKS CANTONESE

0:13:040:13:05

-Oh, Vivs.

0:13:110:13:12

-I can't get Jools's face

-out of my head.

0:13:120:13:17

-It was half shock, half

-disappointment and a quarter...

0:13:170:13:20

-And it's all my fault.

0:13:220:13:24

-This is definitely not your fault.

0:13:240:13:26

-It's my fault, it's his fault...

0:13:260:13:28

-..and Jools has been dragged

-into something that's not her fault.

0:13:290:13:32

-There's never been a problem

-between you and Jools, remember.

0:13:330:13:36

-Well, only one, and that problem's

-landed in my front room.

0:13:370:13:41

-You two have to talk.

0:13:420:13:43

-You two have to talk.

-

-I got no time.

0:13:430:13:44

-It's Cledwyn's wedding.

0:13:440:13:47

-Let's go out for some fresh air.

-Come on.

0:13:470:13:50

-If we can get through today,

-we'll get through anything.

0:13:510:13:54

-We've had enough drama for one day.

0:13:540:13:56

-The ceiling in the Ship has

-collapsed on top of the reception.

0:13:590:14:03

-D'you mind if I use the bathroom?

0:14:080:14:10

-D'you mind if I use the bathroom?

-

-No. No, I don't.

0:14:100:14:12

-You can have a bath or a shower

-if you like.

0:14:120:14:15

-No, no... Can I use the toilet?

0:14:150:14:17

-Oh.

0:14:180:14:19

-Yes, yes you can.

0:14:190:14:21

-Just there look.

0:14:220:14:24

-Buongiorno.

0:14:290:14:30

-Buongiorno! Cool.

0:14:350:14:37

-Has he gone?

0:14:420:14:44

-Only to the toilet.

0:14:440:14:46

-I'm, like, tres paniquer

-and muchos confusios, Beds.

0:14:510:14:55

-What am I supposed to do, like?

0:14:550:14:57

-Well...

0:14:580:14:59

-If I were you,

-I'd go to your mother.

0:14:590:15:02

-She's had a hell of a shock.

-I know you have as well.

0:15:030:15:07

-So, you know...

0:15:070:15:08

-Sometimes, Beds, you're like

-Yoda or Rocky or summin...

0:15:150:15:20

-Alright? Going to the wedding?

0:15:330:15:35

-Dandan's family, yes?

0:15:350:15:37

-It's like a war zone in the Ship.

0:15:370:15:39

-I ran a bath last night and went to

-sleep in front of Towering Inferno.

0:15:390:15:43

-When I woke,

-it was like the Titanic!

0:15:430:15:46

-Have you seen Beds?

0:15:460:15:48

-You haven't understood a word

-I've said, have you?

0:15:480:15:52

-Sorry, but my Chinese

-is hopeless as well.

0:15:520:15:55

-There he is.

0:15:570:15:58

-For heaven's sake.

0:16:070:16:09

-Yes, you're the best.

0:16:090:16:10

-But seeing as half my buffet comes

-with a side order of bathroom...

0:16:110:16:14

-..I have to make one flan

-go round all the guests!

0:16:150:16:18

-Ciao.

0:16:210:16:22

-Ciao.

-

-Alright?

0:16:220:16:23

-Very well, thank you. How are you?

0:16:230:16:24

-Very well, thank you. How are you?

-

-Terrible.

0:16:240:16:25

-I bet

-a good-looking bloke like you...

0:16:250:16:28

-..never had to put up

-with any heartache.

0:16:280:16:31

-Amore and heartbreak.

0:16:310:16:33

-We have all felt their joy and pain.

0:16:340:16:36

-So beautiful and yet so fragile.

0:16:380:16:40

-Doesn't sound so bad

-when you say it.

0:16:450:16:48

-That were lovely that were.

0:16:480:16:51

-HE HUMS THE BRIDAL CHORUS

0:16:540:16:56

-Goodison.

0:16:560:16:57

-I've got a good feeling.

0:16:590:17:01

-Today will be

-the best day of my life.

0:17:010:17:04

-Oh, Jooly Jools, I'm so sorry. I was

-gonna tell him about you but...

0:17:220:17:26

-Hey, hey.

0:17:260:17:28

-It's not your fault he just landed.

0:17:280:17:30

-Why did he just land anyway?

0:17:330:17:35

-Well, apparently he never stopped...

0:17:350:17:38

-What?

0:17:390:17:40

-What?

-

-I dunno! The doorbell went.

0:17:400:17:42

-It's OK. It'll be fine,

-we just need to cool down.

0:17:440:17:48

-Breathe.

0:17:490:17:50

-In.

0:17:510:17:52

-Out.

0:17:520:17:53

-It's just not fair, Vivs!

0:17:560:17:59

-I've known Cled longer than everyone

-else and this is how he thanks me.

0:17:590:18:03

-Dei! I've known Medwyn Tyres

-longer than everyone here as well.

0:18:030:18:07

-But I don't expect

-a standing ovation from him...

0:18:070:18:10

-..every time I go there

-to get my punctures pumped.

0:18:100:18:13

-No more whingeing.

0:18:140:18:15

-Promise me you'll shut up

-about this whole best man business.

0:18:150:18:19

-Promise, promise.

0:18:190:18:20

-You'll have to think of something.

0:18:220:18:24

-You're the best man

-and it's your responsibility.

0:18:240:18:27

-At the moment, there's no reception.

0:18:280:18:30

-I can't, Stan. I'm a broken man.

0:18:300:18:34

-Dei can you take over

-best man duties, mate?

0:18:340:18:38

-I can't. No way.

-My word is my promise.

0:18:380:18:41

-Oh, please, Dei!

0:18:410:18:43

-I cant think straight...

0:18:430:18:45

-..now my cariad, me

-Eirian Dolly Doodles, have left me.

0:18:450:18:50

-Dolly Doodles?

0:18:500:18:51

-Eirian Dolwen, the biggest pain in

-the arse this village has ever seen.

0:18:520:18:57

-Don't talk about my Eirian

-like that!

0:18:570:18:59

-Stop! What's wrong with you?

0:19:060:19:08

-D'you know what?

0:19:100:19:11

-I've had a terrible morning.

0:19:110:19:13

-I know I could have handled it

-a lot better than I have done.

0:19:130:19:18

-So to start with...

0:19:180:19:20

-This one here is Mike.

0:19:230:19:25

-Mike Ranieri.

0:19:260:19:28

-Jools's dad, Anita' ex-boyfriend.

0:19:280:19:31

-Oh, yeah?

0:19:310:19:32

-Mike, you better go.

0:19:330:19:34

-He's not going anywhere...

0:19:340:19:36

-..until he's had a chance

-to get to know his daughter better.

0:19:370:19:40

-Mike, go and look for

-a bed and breakfast.

0:19:410:19:43

-There's loads round here.

0:19:430:19:44

-There's loads round here.

-

-I've got room in the Ship.

0:19:440:19:46

-45 en suite and everything. Ciao.

0:19:460:19:48

-45 en suite and everything. Ciao.

-

-Except the en suite's in the trifle.

0:19:480:19:50

-Jools, don't give him a hard time.

0:19:500:19:52

-He's had a hell of a shock too,

-remember.

0:19:530:19:56

-I've told her to hear you out, cos

-you've had a shock on your teen too.

0:19:560:20:00

-Grazie.

0:20:010:20:02

-Don't get ahead of yourself...

0:20:020:20:04

-..because if you do anything

-to hurt these women...

0:20:040:20:08

-He will kill you!

0:20:080:20:09

-He will kill you!

-

-No, I won't kill you.

0:20:090:20:11

-But hell, I'll lose all my rags.

0:20:110:20:14

-Today is Cledwyn and Dandan's day

-and it's a shambles in the Ship...

0:20:170:20:22

-..so come on,

-we've got a wedding to salvage.

0:20:220:20:25

-I am so sorry.

0:20:330:20:36

-Maybe I see you tomorrow?

0:20:360:20:38

-Oui.

0:20:400:20:41

-Maybe.

0:20:430:20:44

-Say what you like about Beds...

0:20:550:20:57

-..when the goin' gets tough,

-Beds gets goin'.

0:20:570:21:00

-He had a plan in the middle of all

-the bonkers stuff that was goin' on.

0:21:000:21:05

-Look what we all managed to do.

0:21:060:21:09

-Lush or what?

0:21:110:21:13

-Look at how happy everyone is.

0:21:130:21:15

-Well, except him.

0:21:170:21:18

-And her, maybe.

0:21:190:21:20

-And him, obvs.

0:21:220:21:23

-Worevs. Shush. Dandan's coming.

0:21:230:21:25

-Right.

-I've never made a speech before...

0:21:560:21:59

-Oh, yeah, Dylan got the best man job

-cos he was the most grown up...

0:21:590:22:04

-I don't really know what to say.

0:22:040:22:06

-Only, sometimes, nice things

-come out of rubbish things.

0:22:060:22:11

-If Cledwyn

-hadn't knocked his head...

0:22:110:22:14

-..he wouldn't have started

-speaking Cantonese.

0:22:140:22:17

-..and then

-he wouldn't have met Dandan.

0:22:170:22:19

-Well, maybe he would've,

-cos Dandan speaks really good Welsh.

0:22:190:22:23

-Anyway, what I'm trying to say is

-whatever life throws at you...

0:22:240:22:29

-..sometimes you'll catch

-something nice.

0:22:290:22:32

-So, brilliant...

0:22:330:22:35

-Cledwyn and Dandan.

0:22:360:22:37

-Cledwyn and Dandan.

0:22:380:22:39

-It's so true though, right?

0:22:480:22:49

-Life throws stuff at you.

0:22:500:22:53

-Like a bath landing in your pudding.

0:22:530:22:55

-Or your dad

-landing in your front room.

0:22:580:23:01

-Just when you think you've planned

-everything, plans change.

0:23:040:23:08

-Like theirs.

0:23:080:23:09

-And last night,

-they had plans for their futures...

0:23:100:23:14

-..but my dad had a plan as well...

0:23:140:23:16

-..so now I don't know

-if my mam will change her plans.

0:23:160:23:19

-Ha! Flans...

0:23:200:23:21

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

0:23:450:23:47

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0:23:470:23:48

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