Beauty Burglars Cagney and Lacey

BUZZER SOUNDS

Hello, Mrs Mackie. Sorry I'm late. That's all right.

Hello, Peter.

OK, let's get her washed.

Am I ready for this? It'll be beautiful.

I need all the help I can get! You'll be a knockout!

BUZZER SOUNDS

Everything OK? Give me the keys!

Excuse me? Give him the keys or I put your brains on the wall!

- This is the police! - You people are being robbed! Purses in the middle of the room!

Anybody else wanna get tough? Purses out here!

I'm gonna pay each of you a visit. You hand me your jewellery.

It's too tight. It's jade? I like it.

I like you.

Leave her alone, you filth!

We gotta go! Maybe next time...

Everybody on the floor and count to 100!

So count! Count, come on!

Ethel, it's OK. Doctor...

Oh, my God! Somebody get a doctor! Somebody get a doctor!

Right on time. Christine Cagney, Theresa Mallory. Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you.

I hear you're some kind of supercop. Well, she's not THAT super!

HORNS BLARE I understand congratulations are in order. When's the big event?

A month from Saturday.

Penn Station, right? Right.

Penn Station.

HORNS BLARE AGAIN

This is the first time I've ever been in a police car. Is that the radio? That's it.

Do you talk on it every day? We've a shotgun under the seat. We don't! When are you coming back?

Tomorrow. We have to get our dresses. Are you in the wedding party? Matron of honour. We go way back.

'10-30, available units. Lexington and 61st.'

Terry, we'll have to let you out.

You're kidding! Was that for you? Yes, we have a little emergency. I'm sorry. Look, there's a cab.

Pull over. '10-30, available units. Lexington and 61st.'

Hold up over there! I got it.

Is there a murder? Is somebody being robbed? Call me when you get back in town.

Go!

SIREN WAILS

Cagney, 14th.

I need some air! We need a statement, ma'am. It was two policemen!

Will she make it? Heart attack.

Police robbed them? A couple of clowns in uniforms.

Bad guys, too. They pistol-whipped two of the customers.

Where did they take her? Lane Memorial, ma'am.

Scared.

I let them in. I couldn't ignore the police.

Check out theatrical costumers. Cagney, gotta see you. My office.

Close the door. I don't want the civilians to hear.

I just got a call. Ethel Carter, the woman who had the heart attack, hasn't much longer to live. Sorry.

Go over and pay our respects.

Oh, no! I sat mourning only last month! Can I trade with somebody?

No trade-offs! A victim's dying, we let the family know we're doing our job. And it's your turn.

You do this to make me suffer. I do it cos I believe it should be done.

HEART MONITOR BEEPS

It was very kind of you to come. Oh, Miss...? Jordan. Call me Elizabeth. That's right.

How are you? I'm...a little shaky.

Are you friends? Very much so.

I don't think Ethel will be able to tell you very much today, though. Oh...that's all right.

By the way, we should be contacting you in two or three days to see if there's anything else you remember.

Do you know how when you snip a patch off a jacket the material underneath looks new?

There was something like that on their jackets. I noticed when...

Just a...slightly darker spot.

Like a patch had been removed? Yes. Might that help? Oh...Elizabeth, I promise it will.

ALARM BELL SOUNDS I'll have our Art Department contact you.

Possibly you could give them a description of what these guys...

Oh, my God! Ethel!

Really, I'm sure she'll be fine. I can't believe this is happening.

Oh, God, Ethel...!

Oh, Ethel...

Ethel, dear God!

Ethel...

I HATE waiting around for somebody to die! HE can go next time because it's not my job!

Quiet down! Quiet down yourself!

Why are you so hot? I can't hear!

Our beauty burglars just hit another salon on Madison Avenue!

They called so much, I had to get my number changed. Don't go out with twins!

Hey, you need some help? ..I guess he don't.

This is Cagney. Let me talk to your department artist - Raoul.

He's busy? I'M busy!

All right. Have him call me back.

What are these things?

Fall fashions? 218 uniform supply catalogues(!) There are SO many security uniform supply houses here!

Hey, I'd look pretty good in this!

Cagney! Lacey! My office.

It would help me out playing doctor.

These your women? Macy and...? Lacey, sir. And Cagney, Inspector.

These are the women. Are they any good? They're all right.

Gee, thanks(!) Save it. We've had three robberies in three days.

All in exclusive beauty parlours with very exclusive women. Very.

Meaning very connected?

Young woman, all people are equal under the law.

I don't know if they're right. We're right. What are we right for?

We're forming a task force. It was felt that the leaders should be a couple of...women. You up to it?

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

That's all for now.

I am ready! I've been waiting for this all my life! Task force leaders!

It'll look good on our records, I suppose. I'm talking gold stars!

Line it up. What if we blow it?

The artist called. And? He can't get a good composite.

Everybody stared at the uniforms.

Somebody must have seen something. There was one lady, but she won't come in. Who? A woman named Jordan.

I know her. I'll take care of it.

Elizabeth, we really do need you to come down. That person was this close to me.

I can't remember what he looked like! I can't help your artist.

Maybe something else would come back to you.

He wanted my ring.

My grandmother gave it to me. It's on so tight I can't get it off.

Maybe if I could, Ethel would still be alive. Stop that!

You were a victim!

It's funny.

I can't get a ring off, I can't balance a cheque-book, I can't pay the bills properly.

I guess there's a lot of things I can't do.

Since my husband left last year, I've been sort of...fumbling along.

I can't even manage to get out of the house now, you see.

I'm sure it's just a temporary thing. It's wonderful to talk to somebody who understands. Good.

Maybe...maybe we could have lunch some time. I'd like that very much.

Right now I'm going crazy on this case. Sure.

OK, whenever. Thank you, Elizabeth.

All right! Settle down, please!

We're spreading over as many salons on the upper east side as possible.

Spread ME over a few salons! You couldn't handle the action(!) Give me a try!

You think getting molested is funny?

We just got another report.

Another salon? No, two guys in uniform pulled over a lady and molested her in her car.

Still wanna spread it over a few salons? OK, let's get on with this.

Petrie, how's the uniform search? Have you seen all those catalogues? You're almost done? Excellent.

La Guardia, any composite sketches? We're in the ballpark. He's got it down to two likenesses.

When can we have them? On the way out. Thanks, La Guardia.

Chief of Detectives(!) One more thing.

Mary Beth. We need people to run down all known jewellery fences. Applebaum and Miller.

Well... Applebaum and Miller would LOVE to take care of the fences.

OK, hit the bricks. Everybody go!

Think we did OK? I'll let you know in a minute. ..What do you think? About what?

All that money on candlesticks!? I can't get her some chintzy little nothing gift.

No, but Irish crystal? Hey, watch it! Break these and I'll put you in Attica!

Write it off to the raise from your early promotion. Trust me.

YOU write it off. Harve and I have an orthodontist to support!

Terry won't forget who gave her that. What's the matter with it?

She's getting to you. You've been twitchy ever since she came here to get married. She's a good friend.

Why are you so concerned about what she thinks? Wouldn't you be?

I wouldn't break out in hives after dropping $127.50 on candlesticks!

'10-34, possible assault, Madison and 41st.' Take it! Go slow. Watch out for my crystal.

SIREN WAILS

When we stop, go easy! If they're broken, you're paying for them!

Police, hold it! Don't shoot!

The position! Come on, you know it!

He was breaking in to one of our apartments. He's crazy!

And Mrs Henderson was robbed only yesterday at her beauty salon!

There was... Christine, get a load of this - IDs, credit cards, two sets of keys.

Why are you looking at me like that?

I think we've just been promoted.

Detective Cagney...sir.

At ease(!) The black will work? Perfect. White pearls, nice.

It'll work. OK, see you later. Bye.

I've stationed anti-crime people in a dozen salons. Good.

Sir. Wanna knock it off? Want some advice?

Know how I'd have handled Applebaum and Miller? With kindness.

Yeah? I'd have said please. A little honey goes a long way. Not with them.

With me, with the guys. Thanks for the advice. No charge.

Isbecki, if I embarrassed you at the meeting, I'm sorry.

You didn't.

I'll tell you what the problem is! High interest rates!

I'm as creative as hell! Unfortunately, my banker is not!

Is there nothing I can do? Sit and enjoy. That's what help is for.

I let my girl go. The children are in college and I found I LIKE to cook!

Yeah? I used to like it, too. You've a terrific place here.

I'm thinking of sub-letting to spend more time in Connecticut. I love New York, but...

Expect a call. We still have to find our dresses.

Tell me, what are you in, Harve? Construction. Oh.

Take your shoes off. I'll go get the kids. I'll get them.

You know, a good-looking dame like you,

if you play your cards right, you could get a doctor, a lawyer, anyone you want.

What makes you think I don't have what I want? Just letting you know.

I don't even know her any more. It was a rough night.

She was the first person I ever knew who tweezed her eyebrows.

We used to set each other's hair in those big pink rollers and we would sleep like that.

Did you ever do that? Can't say I did.

I love you, Harve.

PHONE RINGS

Hello? Hi, it's me. Two witnesses just looked at our boy.

Yeah? What have we got? Nothing. The credit cards and keys are from our robberies, but not our collar.

He bought them off the street from some guy he never met before. Sweet dreams.

You, too.

Can you believe that? It's empty. Let's not go back in there. Stop it. We're doing...adequate.

Are you two hiding? No, sir. Why is this task force not producing results?

Have you read the DD5s? Yes! Then you know the results! Who's doing the robberies? We don't know!

We're breaking our backs here. A congressman's girlfriend was a victim! Is that what it's about?

You're the leaders. If there's gonna be heat, it'll be on you two.

I'll protect you if I can, because I think you're doing... all right. So far.

"She was having her toes done." What does that mean? She's spending about 35 bucks on her feet(!)

Any movement on the street? If there's any gems we can't find them!

What about fences and pawnshops? Negative. With the amount they got, we'd know about it.

Maybe they're trading out of state. I love it! Send me to Florida! Keep trying, will you?

Elizabeth Jordan called again. And again. Not now!

I'm not sure about leadership. All the pressure. Eat something! There's a souvlaki guy outside.

I smell it and I don't fit into a dress! I have to meet Terry. Have fun.

Her father was right. She should have eloped.

This is it. Definitely. Oh, my God! What's the matter?

The price! You must be kidding! You look darling.

But four hundred... Take a look. Don't you love it?

It's wonderful.

Then what's the matter? For this price I could buy a dishwasher!

Would Harvey get mad? It's not Harvey, it's reality.

Are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure.

OK, I understand.

I love your dress!

Why don't I buy the dress for you? Are you out of your mind? I can't let you do that.

You look great in it. I can't afford the dress and this is embarrassing.

Hey, don't be like that. Come on, we know each other too well for this.

Terry, I can't, really. Thanks.

We'll keep on looking, I'll find something else. Excuse me.

Hello there. What company do you work for?

Bronson Security? So it said. And this is the basic uniform they use? Right. I checked.

OK, get rid of the Bronson Security patch.

And the yellow stripe right here.

And put in a navy blue stripe.

And a triangle emblem right there.

Black buttons instead of the police brass.

There were no precinct numbers, but it's a circular patch... where you've got it.

That's it! Let's get some witnesses down here.

Elizabeth Jordan... I can't. She's here. She had nothing more for us.

Don't ask me. All right.

OK.

What's wrong? My family said, "I told you so", you don't return my calls...

I'm out fighting the bad guys. YOU did not have a gun down your throat.

Elizabeth, I know what you've been through. Once more with feeling(!)

What is that supposed to mean? Please don't do this to me. It was hard enough coming out.

What am I doing? I just don't understand.

I just want to know that somebody gives a damn! Maybe that's naive.

I'm working 10 hours a day on this! I care! You care about the case. That's right. Period.

Why don't we give you a call if there's anything else we need?

I'm LOUSY at this job, you know. No, I didn't know.

I'm good at parts of it, but sometimes, can I blow it! I'm perfect, so I wouldn't know.

If she's bugging you, you don't have to babysit.

I saved the world a lot of grief by not going into social work. We ARE in social work.

You know, this city isn't such a bad place to live. Are you kidding? It's terrific. I love it!

You can ride your bike, get Chinese food...we've got trees!

You can get that anywhere. It's not the same.

Ever think of getting out? Sometimes. For a weekend, you know.

Where's this coming from?

Sometimes I think it would be nice to live somewhere else. Connecticut.

Like your friend Terry? Yeah, like my friend Terry.

We service over 200 companies! Know how many guys pass through here? Aren't they bonded?

Yeah, but they have phoney ID. They make off with my uniforms and weapons. Terrific(!)

Yeah, they've got it all worked out. This is what I'm dealing with.

Take another look at this drawing. Does nothing ring a bell here?

You wanna ring doorbells? BUZZER SOUNDS

Here, here. Here's a list of my clients. Be my guest.

Excuse me. Where do I report a theft? Is it over $1,500? Considerably.

With inflation nowadays, there isn't much UNDER 1,500!

Can I get a detective? Grand larceny. What was stolen, sir?

This.

And then? I went to replace the ring stolen from my wife.

The jeweller had a necklace, also with a ruby. I knew she'd like it, so I bought it and had it appraised.

They told me the ruby had a flaw in it, a hairline crack that diminished its value by a third.

So I took a look at it myself.

I'd seen that crack before.

It's the ruby that was in the ring that was stolen from my wife.

Bought from a jewellery store? One of the finest. Where was your wife when it was stolen? Going to a show.

So she was mugged? Worse. She was having her hair done when two men dressed as policemen robbed her.

I know it's unbelievable... Oh, no. We believe you.

You don't think we had anything to do with this? Recognise these men?

No, I don't.

Francois, why are you so nervous? I cater to a very special clientele.

They come for investment advice and I recommend a gem or whatever.

I'd feel responsible if that advice turned out to be...fallacious.

You mean we mustn't let this get out! Where did you buy this ruby?

We have several suppliers. I can look it up. Do us a favour.

Hello, Mrs Paterson.

Yes, here it is.

Pear-shaped ruby, six carats, purchased by F Crockett - me -

from R Walker. Ronald Walker. Who's that? A wholesaler. A nice fellow. Canadian. Anything else?

What is YOUR relationship with Ronald Walker?

He comes in, shows me his collection and I buy something. Voila! Now, I... We're not finished here.

I am TERRIBLY sorry. So am I.

I think my lawyer should be present. You don't need a lawyer.

I'll believe that you had no knowledge of that gem being stolen. Thank you. But I want co-operation.

Or what? Nothing. You think we'll beat you up with rubber hoses?

I'm not a big fan of the police! He's got a record! Out of state? No, it's nothing like that.

My father was a cop. We didn't get along. Mine sold furniture, but I sit on a couch!

What do you want me to do? Help us nail Walker. We think he's ripping off beauty salons.

They steal stuff and sell it to jewellers like you. Aha. So we want you to sign this.

It means we're not liable for anything that happens while you act as our agent. Agent? Undercover?

As what? Yourself.

Voila!

See our love letter from the Deputy Inspector? YOU wanted to be task force leader.

We just have to keep the momentum going. Are you coming? Sorry. I've got a big meeting tonight.

Harv, Junior and I must solve the riddle of the electromagnet.

Come on, Mary Beth. I'll go to see Elizabeth Jordan in the morning.

I can take care of her myself. I know. But she won't be too eager.

I feel that she's a lot stronger than she says she is. Good.

How much do you charge an hour? She helps us, she helps herself. That's convenient(!) What?

Nothing. Good luck. See you tomorrow.

Oh, my lord. Come on, baby.

Harv, I'm not going to the wedding. Why not? Too far away?

No, she wants me in the bridal party and she has expensive tastes.

How expensive? She wants me to buy a dress that costs $450. That's totally nuts.

Well, it's her second marriage. She thinks she has to throw money at it.

Can't you find another dress? No. So I told her I couldn't spend that kind of money. Good.

So she offered to buy it for me. Get the cheque-book out! Who does she think she is!?

Living in Connecticut makes her a queen bee? Go and buy the dress!

Isn't that cutting off our nose to spite our face?

ELECTRIC SHOCK Why couldn't he grow lima beans?

I'll tell her something came up. Someone else can fit the damn dress.

MAGNET STARTS WORKING

Elizabeth, there is more to what I am asking than just police work.

You think we don't care about you and only want to solve this case.

You asked my advice, so I'll tell you. Help us for your own good.

I don't want those men near me. I don't want them in this house.

How can I be brave when I want to curl up into a ball? I understand.

But this will give you a feeling of taking SOME control.

If you don't, I don't think you'll ever leave this apartment. Which feels very good to me.

I'm sure it does. For now.

You've got to come. I don't think so. The thing came up with Harvey's aunt... I need you!

For what? To let me know it's right. Are you still asking yourself?

Once in a while it comes up.

We've gotta talk about this. No!

We don't. I made up my mind. It's a choice, like you made a choice to do what you're doing.

I wish I had your guts. It doesn't take guts. I don't mean police work. I mean everything.

I had no idea. You didn't? I thought you looked down on me, offering to buy that dress.

You didn't like it? I loved it! And who picked it out for you?

I wanted you to have it!

I thought you were showing off. Like you buying those candlesticks? You didn't like them? I loved them!

Showing off. Remember that's what we used to say about Randy Greenwald? Yeah, I do.

So about the dress... No, listen. We'll find another dress.

I'm getting married, I'm taking the plunge. I don't care what you wear. I just want you to be there.

I'll be there. OK.

I have some quality freshwater pearls. Hard to find.

Yes, I know. Excuse me.

OK, go. I feel silly.

Go.

Hello, Francois. Miss Cagney, hello.

This is Ronald Walker. He supplies many of our gems. A pleasure.

Oh, aren't those beautiful?

Are you interested in pearls? Always!

Francois, do you have my apple jade? It should be in next week.

Hope it brings ME more luck than it did a friend of mine. Jade is lucky. Not for Elizabeth.

Thieves broke into her salon and tried to take her jade ring, but it stuck on her finger. Luck!

And it's worth a small fortune. You know her, don't you, Francois?

Mrs Jordan? Yes, she has a fabulous collection of jewellery and Chinese antiques. Really?

Oh, yes. And she won't leave her apartment. She has the most gorgeous place on West 72nd Street.

So, who can blame her?

At any rate, the whole ordeal was perfectly awful.

I'll phone when your ring arrives. Excellent. Mr Walker, it's been a pleasure. MY pleasure.

Petrie here. I can see the entrance. The other cars are in position.

OK, they're on their way up now.

All set? Wanna give me a test?

'Where's the Jordan woman? In a hotel.'

Good, then it'll just be you and me up there. You and YOU up there!

'See you later, guys.' Stay in touch.

Getting in elevator.

Take it easy. 'I can't breathe!'

'No need to hurt anyone.' Suspects are in the apartment! Let's go! 10-4, on our way!

I can't breathe. Just let me go and I'll give you whatever you want.

Freeze! We're police!

Freeze! Hold it right there! Don't shoot! Don't do it!

Chris, you all right? Yeah.

Hi! How are you feeling? Great(!) That's what you get for trying something on the first date!

Morning, Lieutenant! Hi.

Ah, well... What do we need his approval for, anyway?

We got Walker and most of the stuff back. We did good. We did good.

Elizabeth Jordan left this number. Is that Connecticut? Yeah. She's moving out of the city.

Giving up that view? Back to her folks. So much for her strength!

I guess she couldn't get it back together. Maybe it's right for her.

Yeah, maybe so.

Don't break your heart, Chris. No, I'm not. I was thinking about giving her a call.

You know, when it blows over. Don't.

Why not? You'd be doing it for you.

That's OK. I can do it for me.

Yeah, you can.

LOUD ARGUING

INDISTINCT

I'm leaving now! Open the door!

Let me talk to you a minute! No!

What's he so upset about? It had to do with you and your case and the task force.

Did we mess up? No, I did. I put in for a recognition for you and he hates to give it out. He does?

I should have waited until next month, just before his vacation. I'd have slipped it right by him.

Dumb, dumb!