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Oh, come on Dix.
I said, "Don't put him in the back, he'll wake up".
-Well, we live and learn.
-You never do, though!
All right, all right?! It isn't bloody all right, is it, Jeffrey?!
-Roll on Monday.
-I beg your pardon? Did you just say, roll on Monday?
Yeah. It's the end of er...you know. Bad mood week.
Husband needs to know these things.
-Saved by the bill.
-Not another word.
COMMOTION INSIDE THE AMBULANCE
Dixie. Mrs Dixie.
-Who is it?
It's Shev. He was just drunk and sleeping it off.
In the middle of the road.
Right, come on, let's have him out, chop chop, we've got work to do.
-Come on! You want it easy or hard?
-Hang on, love.
Can't we just get him out. There's four of us?
Can't risk injury to either you or him, love.
Forget about it, Bill! We're going to do it old school, OK?
Right, this is what happens, we open the back doors,
you use me as bait, you get the old soak to chase me through the car,
I slam this door on him, you get the other, bish bosh, job done.
SINGING AND COMMOTION INSIDE THE AMBULANCE
OK, another four of Naloxone going in.
-Shall I start a Naloxone infusion?
MONITOR FLATLINES He's got no output, why are we still going?
Wait. How long has he been down?
40 minutes. He was cold and cyanosed when he came in,
needle still hanging out his arm.
OK, so we've been through every treatable cause, no response.
Anybody got any other suggestions?
Time of death 10.36.
-Beg your pardon?
This is the guy's, what, third OD that I know of.
-Yeah, he's a frequent flyer.
-Yeah, I recognise him too.
Yeah. Well, there doesn't really seem that much of him left to save,
does there? I mean, look at that.
We're doctors and nurses, not judge and jury.
Yeah, I know, I know, I'm just...
sick of wasting time on self-inflicted illness.
-I thought you'd be more sympathetic to heroin users.
-And why would I?
You're Scottish. It's a national pastime.
No, Mr Jordan. Hating the English is our national pastime.
And you do it so very well.
Come on! Come on!
Yeah, COME ON!
Here's a good question.
What's the lowest whole number that can be expressed,
in its entirety, in three words?
-Ah, no, a lot of people say that, you see,
technically that is, one, hundred, and, one.
-Nought point one.
-No, a whole number, no decimals or fractions.
-Oi! No phone-a-friend!
-Thank you, Carol Vorderman!
Will you please, stop distracting those of us who are here to work?
Fair dos Mr J, there's not much happening.
This is a busy city centre ED, it's a bustling metropolis.
Why are we so quiet?
Not a chance sunshine! Not a chance!
-Well, I think we should enjoy it while it lasts.
Dr Lyons didn't go to med school for five years
to sit around answering quiz questions.
You've got, um, blood on your sleeve.
Come on, somebody important might come along, so at least look busy.
Holby City ED.
You're all hilarious. Hilarious.
-How am I doing?
-Yeah, very healthy, Charlie.
So are you!
One hundred million!
One hundred million? You seriously think that that is the lowest. Oh.
-Come on COPPER!
Here we go, here we go, here we go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
SCREAMING COMING FROM THE CAR
HE SCREAMS IN AGONY
-I'd put her down if I were you mate, she bites.
-This is Omar.
-Ah, all right mate, take it easy, easy.
He's been moved over here.
-You wash your ambulance with this?
-Yeah, it's fine.
No, no, no, no. You must use a brush. Health and safety.
You must also meet my colleague, Tamzin. Tamzin!
-She's very strong for a girl, not like Dixie though.
Hey! Oh, I'm really sorry.
You know, that used to happen a lot when I was little,
my mum had loads of plastic mugs. Tamzin Bayle, it's nice to meet you.
-Hiya. Dixie! Nice to meet you as well!
Tamzin and I were chatting on the way over.
It's going to be a pleasure working with the famous Jeff and Dixie.
What he means is, it's going to be great, you know?
Working alongside you both, all your years of experience.
-How do you mean, years?
-We must be best paramedics in Holby.
RADIO: 'Holby control to 3006.'
I'll take this. Your ambulance is dirty. This is 3008.
We'll take for 3006, it's still being cleaned.
I'm really sorry about the mug. And your radio.
-Hope it still works. Bye!
-Come on, Tamzin!
-Well. That was something.
-She broke my A-Team mug.
Yes, but she wore a tight T-shirt so it all balances out in the end,
-She broke my A-Team mug. This is war.
-KNOCK ON DOOR
-Nick, we've got an RTC coming in. We need all hands on deck.
-Zoe, can you hold the fort for me please, I'll be there soon.
Did they get the thieving little git?
-You sure you can handle him?
-Yeah. Help him.
-Fiver on one of the Danvers.
-OK, I'll take that.
-You still on for the date anyway?
-All right, Bill? Where's your wig?
Oh, no, you're wrong. Luke Chadwick.
You've just cost me a fiver, you little scrote.
Any of the officers get hurt?
One's been hit on the head. Passenger's critical.
If I had one wish, Luke Chadwick's head would explode right now.
Pulse is weakening. We should move him now.
We should be able to get the board in now.
We'll keep the driver in paeds, the passenger's en route and critical so let's clear resus, yeah?
-Dr Keogh, will you take minors?
-Err, Noel would you pull up Dr Keogh's profile?
Yep, yep, I thought so. Because you're a doctor?
-The police wouldn't have me.
-Mmm. Not tall enough?
Not racist enough.
Oh, well I'm sure our injured officers will just love to
discuss your liberal opinions at length.
-He said he'd be down any minute.
I know, but I'm just saying if we could do it today, it, it would fit into my schedule...
No, no, it's a month early, but I have a very busy department. No.
No, I have no major concern, look...
This is just a question of convenience.
Thank you, you'll let me know?
-Don't touch me, you perv!
-Lenny! Your driver.
And you, get busy.
-Ooohh...get busy! Get busy.
OK, this is Paul Grayson. Unrestrained front seat passenger, vehicle collision.
GCS 12 deteriorated to eight in the ambulance.
-Straight to resus.
-Trauma to his head and abdomen, query fracture left tibia
and right tib and fib, he's got two lines in.
-Two litres of saline, one unit of geli.
-OK, bed one.
It's been near two years, Bill.
On three please, one, two, three.
-Did you manage to get a pressure on the way in?
Right. Pulse is very thready. He's losing a lot from somewhere.
-He's going to arrest.
-OK. Run the crystalloids in STAT,
and let's get four units of O-neg down.
I'll request eight. Can somebody get the bloods up ASAP.
He's blown a pupil and he's coning. Keep him on the board,
get a tube down him, crash call the neurosurgical SPR and an anaesthetist.
As soon as he's ventilated we'll send him to CT.
You want to watch what you're touching.
I'll be telling social services in a minute.
-You're a real charmer, anyone told you that before?
IN A SCOTTISH ACCENT: I'm shocked, Jimmeh!
-Do they like comedians in jail?
-"Do they like comedians in jail".
-Do you know what!? Enough, mate!
-What? What you going to do? Eh?
-Step back, jock.
-You ready, Tess?
You're going to need a couple of breaths of that.
Little push, yeah?
OK, take some more of this! Come on now, it'll help you.
-Thank you, by the way.
For not saying I told you so.
It's not the place for that.
He wasn't always a bad lad, Bill.
Don't be blaming yourself.
When he comes round, he is going to get the hiding of his life.
RTC with a severe head injury. Blew a pupil and then arrested.
Could you get me a cup of tea, Bill?
-Come on, give.
-Whoa, whoa, steady!
Whoa, whoa, watch the leg, the leg, the leg, the leg, the leg, the leg, the leg!
Give me the pen.
-Can I help you?
-You seen this one before?
-Oh, yeah, many times.
Where did you get this? From Norman or Colin Danvers?
It's not as good as the gear you get in the YO.
See, they do this thing with the library books.
You soak a page in 'phet, and the screws, they can't see it,
can't even smell it.
What you do, you chew bits and you get absolutely buzzing.
Never thought I'd enjoy reading so much.
What are you going to do? Are you going to...
-If he dies, you killed him!
-You'll have to leave now, officer.
-Come on. It's not worth your job, is it?
-Oh, screw the job!
My kid's in pieces cos of the scum that got him hooked.
Where did you get it from? Who was it!? Was it the Danvers boy?
-Get off me!
-Get off me!
Let him go, Sim, love.
I want to know who got my son on this crap!
It's fine, love! We'll find him, we'll find him.
How though, Bill? How? What, by getting lucky on a stop and search?
We don't DO anything. We just let them get away with it.
we need to talk.
See what happens when we follow the rules.
I'd like a word with you too, Dr Lyons. You don't just stand by and have a patient assaulted.
-She was old bill! I didn't know.
-Don't give me that, you have the duty of care
to anyone who comes through our doors.
Why not, Col?
Cos Dad doesn't do phones and he doesn't talk shop with punters.
He'll do me if I was to get you in front of him.
You said so yourself, you don't know what to charge.
I'll get you a price. Just leave it with me.
-The amount of business we do, and your dad still won't trust me.
-He's just careful.
It's disrespectful! He thinks he's the only one round here?
What if I decided to take my business elsewhere? Then you're out of pocket, Col. It pains me you...
I'll ask, all right?! He's at the house.
He's due back soon.
-Oh, straighten your face, Jeffrey.
-It was a family heirloom, Dix.
Ah, you look a bit tired there, Omar. Have a nice lie down?
-Why don't I make us all a cup of tea?
-Anyone else want a cup?
-I'd like MY cup.
RADIO: 'Control to 300.'
3006 receiving, go ahead, over.
Right. Think you'll find this is ours, kids. See you later!
You take your time. They'll be moving him downstairs.
You just let me know?
Uh, um, have you seen Bill? My partner?
-No, no, no! Argh! Arrrgh!
You know, that is quite liberating.
Now. Right then, Colin, where's your old man?
Is this it?
Yeah, well according to the satnav, this road doesn't even exist.
I'm not getting a good vibe from this one, Jeffrey.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Hello?! Anyone home?
In and out as fast as we can, eh, Jeffrey?
You're telling me, princess. Hello!? Someone called an ambulance?
Jeff? Hello, sweetheart. Can you tell me your name?
Yeah. Mr Mindyourowndamnbusiness.
If you'd like to lie as...still as possible.
-I've done this many times before, you know.
Well, perhaps you'd like me to swipe your loyalty card?!
OK! Let's take a look at that brain of yours.
How long will it be?
-I'll fast track it.
-Should take 30 minutes.
I'll get the results ASAP, OK?
-Thank you very much.
-It's going to get noisy shortly.
I can't hear you!
I said, it's going to get noisy shortly.
Good. You know, you should really audition for the hospital panto.
I find that getting my patients to want to kill me helps to distract them from the worry.
I can't hear you!
These are definitely bites, Jeff.
Yeah. He's still bleeding out. Going to run out of saline soon.
Yeah, it took yous long enough.
What was that?
Guard dogs! Two new guard dogs.
Guy that owns this place, he treated 'em like crap.
And they clearly had enough, hadn't they?
Dogs. Well, we're going to need a vet then, aren't we?
And the old bill.
3006 to Control, requesting urgent backup please, over.
You want to get out of here, don't ya?
All right! All right! Nice and easy, eh?
DOG GROWLS AND BARKS
'This is JC.'
Apparently that passes as a name, he's been involved in a fight,
-pain and tenderness to the ribs.
-GCS 14, sats of 96%, BP 120 systolic.
Straight to CDU, please.
He's been squirted in the face with CS gas.
Where's Col? Where's Col!?
We need to get him in, Jeff.
We need a phone now, don't we? Mine's in the ambulance.
How did you call us?
Listen, mate. You're losing a lot of blood here.
And we don't have the equipment to keep you going.
-I'll go and check the rest of this dump.
Hello, love. How are you doing?
Umm, can you... Can you do me a quick favour?
Do you want me to get someone to escort you downstairs?
No, erm. Was that, um, Colin Danvers that you just admitted?
Patient confidentiality. can't do it.
-Oh, come on, who's going to know?
If it WAS Colin Danvers, what would that mean?
It would mean that you've got the son of Norman Danvers in,
who's the biggest drug dealer in the south of England.
And it'd also mean I'd have an idea where my stupid partner's got to.
Holby City ED.
OK. Nice doggy.
DOG BARKS AND GROWLS
Come on, mate. Be reasonable, eh? You've just had my lunch.
All this traffic calming nonsense.
The speed cameras and sleeping policemen, bus lanes, you're just
creating a giant obstacle course for drug-addled plankton like him.
Er, check his mouth, please, Nurse.
Open up, please, sweetheart.
Yeah, I know it's not easy and that.
Cut backs, yadda, yadda, yadda. Here's an idea for you.
-You take all the money you make from speed cameras.
-How many points?
You take that money that you make from the speed cameras
and you start a "sterilise the scumbag" scheme.
Then future generations won't have to deal with
thieving rat-boys like him cluttering up the streets. OK? Close it now. No obstruction.
-What makes you think we all want to hear your opinion?
-No, no, no, none.
There's no need for it to be heard so I suppose I'll just think it.
You're a very strange man, Dr Keogh.
-Erm, erm, um. Curly fries!
Yes. Twenty one hundred?
Ah. That's two thousand, one hundred. Four words.
Better luck next time, Declan.
Hiya! Mr Drug Dealer, sorry I don't know your name.
Tall, broad, no hair.
Yeah? Where is he now?
Did he get hurt?
He's doing this for me, the daft sod.
But I can't say I'm not grateful.
I'd keep my mouth shut about who did this if I were you. OK?
Yeah, long serving, sick of seeing people like you get away with it. What?
We need to get this patient to resus, please.
And where have you been?
-Did you get the phone?
Erm... Bit of a problem there.
These dogs seem to have us surrounded.
-What, you mean we're trapped in here?
Be good if we had a way to radio for help, wouldn't it?
Right, I'm going to apply a pressure dressing.
Once this is on, we're going to have to keep releasing the pressure but we can't do that for too long.
We've got to get him in, Jeff.
All right, well, you grab his arms, I'll grab his legs, and we'll run the dogs.
Brilliant. That's an inspired idea, Jeffrey.
Can you just be helpful!
-It's your fault we're here in the first place!
-It's all your fault, Jeffrey.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's always my fault, innit?
Yes, it is actually, if you weren't so busy shaking your tail feathers at the new recruits!
-You just get lost, will you, Jeff.
Oh, come on, Bill, pick up, where are you!? That lad with Col.
He's level one, you can't get away with that,
never mind going after Norman Danvers.
-I'm coming after you.
-Mrs Grayson? Sorry.
There's no more bad news to get.
Erm.. No, I've been asked to take you down to the chapel of rest, erm...
They've laid your son's... Sorry, they've laid, erm... Paul's body out.
Er, Bill? You just do what you think's right.
Sorry, can I check the spelling of your surname?
It's, er, Cartwright.
-No medical records are showing up.
Well, it's just that, you've had your appendix out, that's all. Which hospital did you use?
-What's your address, please?
Er... What did he give me?
Well, I assume it was just pain relief.
-I'll let you rest and I'll come back later.
-Wait, wait, wait.
They said I was allergic to some meds.
Look under Lloyd Johnstone.
So where does JC come from?
It's fine. Just do it, please?
Right, let's have a look at this leg.
What caused this?
You're burning up, mate.
-You're running a right fever.
Mr Mindyourowndamnbusiness? These dogs.
They're from this country, yeah? You didn't get them from overseas, did you?
There's blood in their saliva.
DOGS CONTINUE BARKING
How long you been here?
That pig stabbed me. Made me tell him where Dad was.
It'll be all right.
We've got to get out of here, Jeff. No-one knows where this place is and there's no-one coming.
I'm not surprised this place doesn't show up on a satnav.
There's enough drugs upstairs to sink the sixties.
I got lost! I was looking for directions!
Yeah, save it for old bill, hey?
-I ain't going to prison! I ain't going nowhere.
-All right, calm down.
-Looks like you're suffering a bit of gip yourself there, pal.
-Let's have a look.
It's nothing. Just, look after the patient.
-No, no, no, come on, let's have a look.
-It's just a nip!
They've suspected rabies.
Right. I'm going to get us out of here.
There must be a way past. If I can just get to the ambulance.
-I'll be back in two minutes. You can be nice to me then.
-Door, please, Jeff.
This must be the worst part of your job?
There's plenty of worst parts, believe me.
-Alcoholics and junkies, for a start, I mean take them
out of the equation and we get half the traffic and none of the trouble.
I...I...got to take this.
She's not quite ready yet, pal. I'll give you a call when she is.
Hey. How are you doing?
-I'm going to get asked that a lot, aren't I?
-Bill. Where are you?
-Get a pen!
-Want to say that again?
I need to tell you about that lad.
Stop talking woman and just get a pen.
I can't hear you. Look, just get those dogs to shut up!
I don't think I can.
-How did you find us?
Tip off. So the old man?
Well, he's not great, but we've done what we can.
-It's immediate left, past Potter's Farm.
-Thanks, we'll find it.
-Can you take me with you?
-I'm afraid we can't.
It's not on the map and I know the area.
Shouldn't you...you know?
No, not yet. Look, my partner's there, I need to help.
She didn't deserve it, Dix.
No mother does and it's scum like that Norman Danvers
that caused all this.
Grab the old boy and get upstairs. No sudden movements.
-Just leave him.
-We don't leave anyone.
Less chat, more action, please!
Col? You awake?
I was thinking, I got some mates we could call. Help your dad out.
You got his address? Col?
You'd like that, wouldn't ya?
Used to get me to drop you off at the pub.
-I thought you lived in a dump.
Most people stay for a smoke, but you always had an excuse.
I told ya, I can't play footy when I'm charged, mate.
I'm not your mate. I'll tell you what else I'm not.
I'm not as thick as everyone thinks I am.
What are you going to do?
DOGS BARK AND GROWL
Hey. You know I love you, don't you?
I won't let them anywhere near you. Ever. I promise.
DOGS BARK AND SCRATCH AT THE DOOR
-What is it?
-It's the best sound in the world.
I'm going to need some help in here, please!
Ah! You're a difficult man to track down Mr J.
-Right. She's asked me to say this word for word
so don't shoot the messenger, yeah? Scan clear.
No need for six-month check-ups, can leave to 18 months. See you next Christmas.
-I'll be one of the ugly sisters, as long as you play the other.
-Good news, yeah?
-About as good as it gets, yeah.
Right, well. You should tell your patient then.
You do know who this is about, don't you?
Is it someone famous?
Come here. Turn round.
There you go.
Twenty one thousand? Three words!
Just to say thank you.
Where are you going?
To resus, of course!
Claire, grab me my usual coffee will you, please?
Right! What have we got?
DOGS GROWL AND BARK
-Is Danvers there?
Me and the Dixies are going to be dog meat in two minutes.
-We really should wait for backup.
-Simone! You ARE the backup.
OK. Who fancies being bait?
DOGS GROWL AND SCRATCH THE DOOR
SHE BANGS ON THE DOOR
You sure about this?
Save your breath, mate.
Come on, Dixie!
He's upstairs. He's with the old man.
Bill? Bill! Bill! No. There's been enough blood.
I think I can say goodbye to me pension.
Excuse me. I'll take care of this.
Omar, can you just keep applying pressure to that please, love?
-OK, stay with us, good man.
It's got to be a bleed. If it's not in his chest, it's got to be into his belly.
I agree. What's the situation with his chest?
The wound looks superficial and the X-rays didn't show any major structural damage.
Vesicular sounds bilaterally, good air entry.
Heart sounds are normal, his JVP isn't raised.
No evidence of other trauma, apart from a minor rib injury.
OK, this is Norman Danvers, he's been attacked by two dogs.
Severe wounds to his lower leg.
We applied a pressure dressing which we've released regularly, but his toes are turning blue.
OK, on three, please, one, two, three.
What we've got here, is the biggest drug dealer in the South.
-Should I take this, Nick?
-No, no. You supervise Dr Lyons, please.
Er, Dr Lyons? There's suspected rabies as well.
Mr Danvers, I'm just going to take a look at your foot, OK?
Zoe, did you check the abdomen?
-Get me the fast scanner please.
-It's still in MAU.
Tash, get me a DPL kit, sterile gown and gloves and some local, please.
A DPL, Nick?!
Charlie? You're old enough to remember the DPL, aren't you?
Yes. But only just. And he has been catheterised.
-Nick. DPL went out of fashion with flares.
-Yes. Well, you know me.
-I've never been a great follower of fashion, Zoe.
-You can say that again.
Well, you did call me old.
Let's send off for bloods please, till then,
-we just treat what we can see, right?
Which is a deeply cyanosed foot.
OK, ready with the saline, please, Tash. Let's run this through.
Sorry, the Theatre's just called. Surgeons, half an hour at the most.
-Foot hasn't got that long.
-It's not what I'm worried about.
I just released this, which means I've released the toxins
and metabolites that have built up.
Are you aware what the rule is now, Dr Hanna?
Please patronise me some more.
If you can't read The Sunday Times through the bag of fluid,
then there is an abdominal bleed.
And that...is a positive tap.
OK, cancel CT, call surgery and let's get this man up to theatre, please.
-I'm glad you're back.
-I don't know what you mean.
Come on, you should be supervising him.
-He's in VF!
-All right, all clear.
OK, two minutes CPR, please, and let's get arterial blood gases.
-Are you going to take over?
-No, you can do this.
I've released the pressure dressings so I've released the toxins into the bloodstream,
-I can't diagnose him till we get blood gasses back.
-There's no time. Just treat what you know it is.
Hyperkalemia is most likely
and treatment has got to coincide with CPR.
OK, let's get 10 milligrams, erm...
10mls of 10% calcium gluconate, please, IV.
-This is just a guess!
-Sometimes that's all we do have.
Come on! Can someone take the pressure here, please?
Thank you. Right.
I'm going to need five units of insulin IV as well.
-Do you not want to wait and see how this ends?
-I know how it ends.
With 50mls, 50% glucose IV over 10 minutes.
-You got so skinny.
I missed you.
Sweetie. I'm here now.
I can't believe I'm actually going to treat somebody for rabies.
That's been a dream of mine for a long, long time.
Does it have to be that big?
Yes, of course. We're just waiting for the HPA to arrive. They're going to think
all their Christmases have come at once. All these years waiting for a confirmed case.
-Well, you don't have to enjoy it.
-If you start with headaches or a fever,
-do let me know. They're the early signs.
-Great. What are the later signs?
There's, er...fitting, similar to epilepsy, fear of water,
paralysis to the jaw - why we get the foaming at the mouth.
And death. Technically not a symptom, more of an outcome.
Special delivery for Mr Collier.
Yes, come right in.
Oh, no, no, no, no. Dixie, come on, no.
-That's the last thing I want to see.
-Quick on the uptake as usual.
Badly treated by the watchman, they were protecting their young
-and trying to find food. Very honourable.
-So no rabies?
-No. No rabies.
-I'll leave you to it, then.
Oh. You're a very sick man, by the way.
Hello, little fella.
-So I suppose you two have come to gloat about coming to our rescue, eh?
No. Came to give you this. I'm sorry.
Ah, right, thanks. Thanks.
RADIO: 'Control to 3008.'
-We go to the rescue. Again. See you later.
-Yeah, yeah, see ya.
-You said you love me.
I had rabies. I lied.
-Cos I love you too.
-Yeah. Shut up.
-HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
-Twenty one thousand.
Is he right?
-Did you Google that?
-I swear on my life I didn't Google it.
-Noel, my old son, you are spot-on! I will see you tonight.
Ah, well I didn't mention it before, see? It was a bit of a test.
There's a pub quiz this evening, Holby league semifinal,
-I'm a man down, you're in, congratulations.
-Saved that guy's life.
-Good. Well done.
You do realise he's personally responsible for much of the traffic
-that comes through this place, don't you?
-We're doctors and nurses, Mr Jordan. Not judge and jury.
Good night, Dr Keogh.
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