Hero Syndrome Casualty

# No matter where we are... #

We can stop for breakfast on the way to work if you'd like?

# Love is beyond whatever we need

# We're invincible, invincible... #

What do you think?

Britney?

# Invincible, invincible

# Invincible, we're invincible

# From the wildest water to the highest mountains

# You and I forever... #

Come on, Duncan.

I've told you before - you can't stay here. Come on.

Thank you, Father.

If a stranger sojourn with thee in thy land,

thy shall not vex him.

Leviticus, 19.33.

'Tess, they'll be no trouble, I promise.'

They can stay in the staff room.

Love what exactly?

I'll bring things to occupy them.

Look, it's not that I don't sympathise with your predicament...

Tess, please, it's just for one day.

'This is what Denise does -'

disappears on a bender, runs out of money

and comes back a week later with her tail between her legs.

She always comes back.

Tess, I'm going to have to go.

Linda?

How do I do this?

ENGINE STALLS THEN REVS

Out! Now!

ENGINE REVS

All right, mate? What are these,

your job applications?

Oi! Leave them!

Loser.

Let's go, man.

Are you OK?

Like you care.

Get away!

I was just trying to help.

-Just leave me alone!

-All right, please yourself.

I don't eat carbs.

All food contains carbs, Britney.

No wonder you're so fat.

-Apple?

-'Hi, this is Denise...'

-Keep the doctor away!

-What about the nurses?

'Leave a message...'

-He don't eat fruit. He goes mental.

-Denise, you can't ignore me forever.

Why not? You ignored us.

Walk of shame, is it?

-She was nothing to be ashamed of, I can assure you.

-Nice one!

-TESS:

-That's fine.

-One day, that's all you're getting.

-Thank you, Tess.

Where do you think you're going?

-We're not wanted.

-You're not going anywhere.

Like your T-shirt, Spidey.

Go web. Shazam! Hey, you seen the films?

You're regressing, Dr Lyons. I didn't think that was possible.

Well, I'm trying to practise my interpersonal relationships,

but it's kind of difficult with myself stuck in cubicles.

-No.

-Oh, come on! I've been in there all week.

No, N-O spells no. Pop that in the bin for me, please.

He's having a laugh.

Er, excuse me, please.

Thank you.

TRAIN RATTLES OVERHEAD

Hey! Hey, mate!

Hey, wake up. There's a fire!

No, no, no!

CAR HORN BLARES

TYRES SCREECH

HE SCREAMS

BABY CRIES

You all right?

BABY CRIES

Get my baby!

It's OK. I'm going to get you out!

-OK.

-Just try and stay calm!

-All right.

-SHE CRIES OUT

-He's fine, he's fine.

BABY CRIES

You're fine, you're fine. There we are, you're all right.

You're fine.

MUSIC: "Rude Boy" by Rihanna

SHE WHISPERS

Oi! Coffee man. What do you call this?

MRSA, that's what it is. Lose the drapes or wear a shower cap.

-Health and Safety.

-You what?

-I'm going to call Watchdog.

-Get out.

PHONE RINGS

Mum?

ANSWER MACHINE: 'This is Denise, I can't get to the phone...'

Cheers, Nick.

He's not going to make it, is he?

Baby seems fine, sweetheart.

We'll just get him to the hospital and get him checked over, OK?

You should get that other man.

What other man, darling?

The tramp with the trolley.

Jeff?

Yeah... All right if I send Steve in with you?

Steve, do you want to give Dixie a hand, mate?

You must be the kid that came to the rescue?

Real life hero, eh?

Didn't see this man, no?

OK.

I'm Jeff, by the way.

Rory.

Let's get you in sharpish.

You're not her type, trust me.

Wrong end of pharmaceuticals.

Linda.

Nothing.

Incoming RTC.

I reckon you're jealous. Can't say I blame you.

A sister like that...

Doesn't seem fair she gets the brains AND the beauty.

I'm kidding, you blatantly got the brains.

Why are you here? You're supposed to be in cubicles.

OK, this is 38-year-old April and newborn baby Jed.

She's the driver of a car versus billboard RTC.

Hello, April. I'm Mr Jordan. We're going to look after you.

No loss of consciousness, ABC's all normal.

She's got a facial laceration, dislocated left shoulder.

OK, April, need you to wiggle your bum over to here, please.

Sats of 97. Pulse of 85. BP's 125 systolic.

Tried to immobilise her at the scene but she refused.

-She's feeling a little delicate.

-She's not the only one.

Another one on its way.

Thanks, Dixie. Tess, can we find Tom for me, please?

We're going to need all hands on deck here.

The little fella seems to be coping a bit better.

His obs are all normal, no obvious injuries.

Cracking set of lungs on him.

Yeah, hasn't he just! Haven't you, eh?

Yeah, he's fine.

Crying's a good sign. Your baby's fine.

April, just calm down for us, please.

Does it hurt anywhere else apart from your arm?

Abdo soft, non-tender. No obvious injuries.

-Mummy's coming.

-Any pain in your neck?

I doubt it by the way she's moving. But with the distracting injury,

I think we should still try and get some imaging.

Can someone get Radiology, ask for imaging but without immobilising her.

Can you feel me touching there?

I was going to see the midwife - he hasn't been feeding well.

-Can you answer the question, please?

-Sorry.

Get X-ray to confirm the dislocation, Dr Lyons.

OK, April, listen to me.

We have to sedate you to manipulate your shoulder back into joint.

You've got a cut on your forehead that'll need stitches. You're fine.

-I'm not taking medication. I'm breastfeeding.

-We can get an expressing kit.

He'll be in university before he's had his breakfast(!)

-You can give him a bottle.

-I haven't established breastfeeding, the bottle will confuse him.

Linda? I need to borrow you.

Can you...?

Er, Linda?

You might want to change your top before you come back to work.

APRIL CRIES OUT

Listen, I've laboured alone for 72 hours

and squeezed a baby out of a hole the size of a walnut without any pain relief.

I'm hormonal, tired and I've just been pulled out of a smashed car.

You do not want to get between me and my baby.

Dr Lyons, take your patient through to Cubicles, please.

Stay on the bed, April.

GCS 15. All obs are normal. He's a little shaken

and he's been sick, but expected to make a full recovery.

-Oh, and he's a Spurs fan.

-Yeah? That condition's probably terminal.

Hi, Rory. I'm Tom.

This is Scarlett.

Do you know how you got the bruise on your head?

Think I bumped it on the roof of the car.

And you've no other pain except in your hands?

Did he black out at all?

Not that I'm aware of, no.

Right, Rory. Catch you later.

You're a Spurs fan? Ouch. Might need an isolation bay.

-You're not a Gooner, are you?

-No, Liverpool.

So at least we have Robbie Keane in common.

Let's just keep him under observation.

Can you give his hands a clean and move him into CDU where it's a bit quieter?

I'll get his mum in.

-Apparently, they were all wrapped up in it.

-So, where are they now?

No trouble - your words.

TOILET FLUSHES

Little man on the door wearing trousers.

They can't have gone far.

If you don't sort this out quickly, I'm going to have to send you home.

I'm sorry, Linda, but it's my job on the line, too.

On our way, Control. ETA five minutes.

-All right?

-You haven't seen a teenage girl and a small boy?

-Both wrapped in toilet roll.

-Sorry, love.

Someone's been on the waccy baccy.

Cheers.

Does this have instructions?

BRITNEY: Just lie still, will you?

All right, stand back, everyone. Shocking, three, two, one.

LAUGHTER

You two all right in here?

Do you want me to start chest compressions?

No. You're just a nurse.

Get me blood, six litres of C minus. And hot chocolate with marshmallows.

Sounds like my kind of hospital.

What the hell do you think you're doing?

I should have known you'd be in on it. Off the bed now.

Go.

HE MAKES HONKING NOISE

Get in.

I thought I asked you to stay in this room.

You didn't ask us nothing.

You stuck your finger in my face and talked down to me.

-All right. OK.

-You disrespected me.

Sorry, Snoop Dogg, did I damage your rep?!

This is a hospital, not a street corner. There's very sick people and it's my job to look after them.

Mum's sick. Why don't you look after her?

Bet you're a rubbish nurse.

Leave this room again and I'll incinerate it.

That's it. Walk away. Do what you always do.

Hello, mate.

-My name's Dixie.

-Leave me alone.

Right. Cheerful chappie, aren't you?

-This looks nasty. How did it happen?

-Fire scratch.

It's just a trolley. Help the others first.

Right. I'm glad we cleared that one up(!)

Jeff, a bit of help here wouldn't go amiss.

Can you tell me your name, sweetheart?

Duncan?

Found his tobacco tin this morning.

The accident half a mile away, three people injured, ring any bells?

Ding ding.

Right, Duncan.

It's stressful enough just being in hospital.

Now we have to have the right change even though we don't know how long we'll be here.

-Sorry, what's your name again?

-Brothwick. B-R-O-T...

Are you Rory's mum?

I brought him grapes. I don't know why. It's what people do, isn't it?

They've probably got pips in. He doesn't like pips.

-Sorry. How is he?

-I can take you straight through.

Right. This is Duncan Jessup. Age unknown.

He was found propping up a headstone in the cemetery.

Won't give us any medical history.

Obs are all normal. Got a shard of glass in his hip.

Get me a litre of crystal meth.

Right, if you just come with me? No, no, no!

With me, please.

Do you want to sit back in the chair, Duncan?

Makes life a little bit easier, doesn't it?

Visitor for you.

Hello, darling.

Your son was exceptionally brave today. You should be very proud.

-Won't let me touch him these days.

-That's teenagers for you.

I'm Tom, emergency paediatric doctor.

Right. Let's get you home.

I'm afraid we need to keep him in for a bit. He needs observation for his head injury.

-The police will probably have a chat.

-Police?

Don't worry. They probably just want a statement about the accident this morning.

-Tom?

-Mm-hm?

Why didn't you mention this?

Scarlett, would you take Mrs Brothwick for a cup of tea, please,

-while I finish patching up Rory?

-Do you want to follow me?

So - do you want to tell me how you got those?

BABY GRIZZLES

This won't work unless you relax.

I need to feed him. I need to feed my baby.

Shh. Be quiet, relax.

It's OK, April.

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY

Let's try again.

Why is it so inconceivable to him that I might not want to follow his advice?

-Actually there is an alternative.

-Leave her like that forever?

-No, that's not...

-Or admit you to Ortho who'll put you to sleep.

Then who'll look after your baby? Nut job.

How are we doing in here?

Excuse us a moment, please.

-Right. Is there a problem?

-When did a desire to do what's best for your baby make you mentally imbalanced?

You saw what she was like on Entonox. There's no way she'll ever be relaxed enough

for me to reduce her shoulder without sedation. You speak woman. Make her see sense.

Mr Jordan, perhaps we could use local anaesthetic into the joint?

-I saw someone do it at St James'.

-That's a very good idea.

-Get her prepped.

-Excuse me, Linda?

BREAKING GLASS

I'm sorry. If you'd excuse me...

Yeah, go. Get her prepped, Dr Lyons. Move her to CDU where we have more space, please.

Perhaps your attention might be better focused elsewhere?

I'll sort it, Tess.

More of a cricket man myself. You a cricket fan, Rory?

-No. Goes on forever.

-I'm always in it for the long game.

I was heating up some milk. The mug got too hot

-and I dropped it.

-Across both shoulders on two separate occasions?

What did your parents say?

My dad's dead. He was a police officer,

-he died when I was three.

-I'm sorry to hear that.

He was, er, killed in a bank robbery trying to stop this woman from getting shot.

The robber had this clown mask on.

As he went to get his gun, my dad dived in front of her like Brad Friedel saving a penalty.

The bullet went pzz-whoosh straight through his vest into his left ventricle.

He won loads of medals. There were bagpipes and crows at his funeral

but it was too upsetting for children so I didn't go.

How do you get on with your mum?

-Must be tough bringing you up on her own.

-She's not on her own.

She's got a new boyfriend. Fat bloke. His name's Ralph.

He wears a duffle coat and supports Luton Town, so...

TOM CHUCKLES

Oh, no! Well, it always takes time to trust a new player.

But you know, he can never replace your dad.

Don't talk about my dad! You don't know anything about him!

Bearded fart about yay high, seven sheets to the wind, stinks of pee.

Seen him? No, Obviously not.

Don't I recognise you from somewhere?

-What's the matter?

-Nothing.

I used to look after a platoon of boys not much older than you.

I can smell fear a mile off.

YOU were a soldier?

You got any medals?

Would that impress you? A bit of silver and a ribbon?

Bravery's not something you show, son. It's something you hide inside.

So...you ever killed anyone?

I've watched kids die.

I've held their hands when half their chest were missing

and I promised them everything was going to be OK.

Nothing brave about it, son.

Nothing heroic. It's just ugly.

Ugly and pointless.

Look at me now, eh? Prison would be a blessing.

Prison?

At least I'd be warm, wouldnae be hungry.

-Rory Brothwick?

-Yeah, he's out front.

There's a bird outside in a silver car blocking the exit.

She says she won't move until she speaks to a doctor.

You said he pulled a woman out of a car.

Was the car on fire, do you know?

No. There was a trolley on fire in the road,

belonged to some homeless guy but the car never went up, no.

Thought as much. Can you phone Rory's GP and ask him to fax over his medical records?

You'll deal with the bird in the silver car, yeah?

Yeah, sure(!) Cos I've nowt else better to do, have I?

I thought it might be good for him to have a man around. Lovely guy.

-Made it all a million times worse.

-Made what a million times worse?

Mrs Brothwick?

Has Rory's behaviour changed at all recently?

He's 16. It's like living with Satan.

SHE CHUCKLES

It happened overnight. I woke up

and he was all acne and hair and, "Shut up and die, Mum."

Yeah...

Anything apart from puberty?

I noticed he started to lock the bathroom door.

I thought he was just self-conscious about his body changing.

So you've no idea how he came by the scars?

A rough tackle maybe?

He's always getting bashed about on the football field.

You don't get burns from playing football.

How about I get you that cup of tea?

-Don't you have my patient to find?

-Your X-rays, Doctor.

-Right.

-Ah, the wanderer returns.

Mr Jessup, you really shouldn't be up and about... Ugh!

You know, there is a toilet just round the corner or you could ask for a bottle.

Revolting man.

Can we get him 20 mg of chlordiazepoxide and a couple of vials of Pabrinex, please?

-Can't keep me here.

-Regrettably, we have to. It's called a duty of care.

-Duty of care, my... Argh!

-Once we see how deep the glass has penetrated

we'll stitch you up and get you out of here,

assuming you don't have other injuries?

I'll take that as a no.

Thank you.

Ooh, nasty.

No way his urinary tract could have survived that.

I've never seen anything like it.

Poor bloke must be incontinent.

What the hell happened to him?

It's a slightly less well-known procedure but the good news is

that the Lignocaine won't get into your milk so you can breastfeed as soon as we've finished.

Ah, there you go. Did you hear that? And how's the feeding going?

-I'm not very good at it.

-It's early days. It'll get easier, I promise.

-Dr Lyons, 10 mg...

-One percent Lignocaine, I know.

-I'll get it in a sec.

-OK, so Dr Lyons,

let's inject the Lignocaine 2 cm inferior to the lateral edge of the acromion

into the glenohumeral joint. Just there.

-Sorry to interrupt. Linda, there's a lady asking for you at reception. Sounds urgent.

-It'll be Denise.

Sharp scratch coming up.

Mrs Brothwick is in the relatives' room. She's holding back on something.

Turns out Rory was seen at St James' last November

with minor burns from rescuing an elderly lady from a fire on a bus.

And before that for rescuing a cat from a fire in a wheelie bin.

Seems like a bit of a coincidence. What about the burns today?

Well, that's what I'm about to find out.

Rory?

I've spoken to one of our paramedics from the crash this morning.

They told me the car wasn't on fire

and yet somehow you've burned your hands.

There was, however, a trolley on fire at the scene.

-It belonged to a tramp.

-He's not a tramp.

So - why DID you do it?

Did you think it might be funny?

Make you feel in control?

Adrenaline rush?

No!

I tried to get him away. There was nothing I could do.

He stumbled into the middle of the road and the car came out of nowhere.

-You set fire to the trolley, didn't you?

-I was trying to rescue him.

-Noel said I might find you out here. Thought you'd given up.

-I have.

Everything OK?

It wasn't Denise. It was one of Britney and Joe's social workers.

Denise has been remanded in custody.

-What for?

-She's handed herself in after assaulting a social worker.

Apparently she was already on a suspended sentence.

Tess, they reckon she'll serve time.

And get this. She wants to know if I'll take the kids in permanently.

Gave me all this literature.

The Best Interests Of The Child. Treating Children As Individuals.

What Do Children Want? Well, I have absolutely no idea.

That's a lot to take in. You need time.

Yeah.

Motorcycle accident?

Drunk and fell out of a window?

I'm guessing you don't ski.

No time. Not with all the golf and recreational yachting.

-Excuse me, Doc. Sorry. The police are here.

-Send them in!

-They'll have to wait. I'm doing important medical stuff.

-Stuff?

-Yes, stuff.

-Oh, right you are. Oh, and Mr Jessup's ex-wife is here.

Well, when I say here, she's...

You know what? I get the message load and clear, love.

I don't like you either. You're an attention-seeking little brat.

No wonder your mum needed to get off her head.

That was harsh.

Yeah, well, she gives as good as she gets.

You're the adult, remember?

Oh, says the 27-year-old who can quote the entire film script of Spider-Man!

-I'm just saying.

-Yeah, well, don't.

You want to push her away, Linda, you go for it, yeah?

Just trust me. Been there, done it.

Mrs Jessup?

I left a message for you earlier. I'm your husband's doctor.

What happened to him?

Landmine. Helmand Province.

-I should have thought of that.

-Captain. Second Battalion, Princess of Wales' Royal Regiment.

Right. Well, as you were.

Actually, not as you were. You can't park here.

Is he going to die?

Not today, but if he carries on drinking...

That's not my problem any more.

If I'd known "for worse" meant three bottles of whisky a day

and trying to strangle me in my sleep, I'd never have married him in the first place.

Why did you turn up?

I thought he might have changed. Should have known better.

Er, Doc?

Go and get some help, Mac. We need a trolley.

Rory will need to go down to the station to make a formal statement.

Will they press charges?

It's a very serious offence.

I just don't understand why he would do something like that.

He's a good kid really. He doesn't belong in prison.

That's what I thought. So I've asked someone from CAMHS

-to come and review him.

-CAMHS?

-Child And Adolescent Mental Health Services.

I think it's possible Rory might be suffering

from something called hero syndrome.

He's starting fires, so he can then take the credit for rescuing people.

The good news is, if we can prove he has a psychological condition

then the police are less likely to press charges.

So it's an attention-seeking thing?

Um, I think your new relationship might have been the trigger.

Subconsciously he's just trying to rescue his dad.

No.

No, that can't be right.

His dad didn't die. He left us for another woman.

But Rory couldn't accept it.

He made up a story about how his daddy died a hero.

He repeated it over and over...

..till it got to the point

where I didn't have the heart to correct him any more.

Your blood pressure's low, but that's to be expected now we've dealt with your pain.

-Bad day?

-At least I didn't drive through a billboard.

You look tired. You should try and get some sleep.

I need to try and feed him again.

Do you want me to call a midwife for you?

You sure there's no-one else I can ring?

No, we separated before I knew I was pregnant.

Then my fingers swelled up so much I can't get it off.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

It's my version of mizuko kuyo.

It's a Japanese thing.

Mizuko means water child, or miscarried baby.

People say I can't have lost them because they were never really mine.

Acute-on-chronic subdural.

There's no mass effect yet but the neurosurgeons will need to see him.

He may need that drained sooner rather than later.

How far the mighty have fallen.

It explains his fitting anyway.

I've spoken to Maternity...

April?

April! Can I get some help in here?

She's barely responsive and tachycardic with a pulse of about 120.

April, can you hear me? It could be a bleed from the trauma. She was fine when we assessed her though.

Where's the baby?

-OK...

-Let's get her to Resus. Can you page Mr Jordan, please?

-Where's her baby?

-I took him up to Maternity.

There were no injuries when you did the primary survey?

-She seemed fine.

-April? April, can you hear me?

Check her pupils, please, Tess.

April, squeeze my fingers for me. Squeeze them.

Pupils equal, reacting normally.

Good. Good breath sounds throughout. What are her obs?

Pulse 120 regular, BP 80 over 55.

No major bleeding. No sign of a major head trauma. What's going on here?

-BM's only three.

-April, have you had anything to eat today?

-No.

-OK, let's give her 250 ml of 10% dextrose, please.

Hypoglycaemia wouldn't explain a collapse with hypotension.

What else do we know about her?

-Come on, people!

-She seemed stressed.

-Yeah, about feeding the baby.

Right, we do this again properly.

If there's no improvement we have to run her through the CT scan.

Phone Maternity, check her birth history.

Let them know the baby might be staying a little while longer.

Get me the FAST scanner, please. April...?

So you took the baby to Maternity, did you?

What was I supposed to say? My niece stole him to wind me up?

My keys are missing.

I've got to get back. Five minutes. If Mr Jordan asks, I'm telling him.

Jeff!

Jeff, I could do with a hand here, please, mate.

Stay there.

Come on.

Get in here, quick.

-Jeff!

-Yes, all right, keep your hair on.

I'm running all the way. Running all the way.

I don't want to talk about Dad!

SHOUTING

Rory! Rory! I want to help you but I need you to calm down.

I just want my dad.

I know, but think about it like this.

Robbie Keane.

He was your best player, wasn't he?

But the club is always bigger than one man.

But then suddenly he leaves you, goes to play for Liverpool,

and in doing so, everyone forgot about the players that mattered.

And it was up to them to pick up the pieces.

You see, my point is, Rory...

..your mum, she may not always win the Cup

but she will always be with you.

Am I supposed to be the club?

Yeah.

Mum!

It's all right. It's all right, darling.

-Lindsay Lohan?

-No.

-Lady Gaga?

-Nah.

-Duchess of doo-da?

-No!

-All of the above?

-No, they're all too skinny.

Well, you know, a few bacon sarnies. That's the trouble with you women.

Too fussy.

BABY CRIES

-Hello there.

-Linda!

Might have something that belongs to you.

..pH 7.1. Base excess minus 10.

Bicarbonate 15. Lactate five.

Metabolic acidosis. Hypovolemia.

No free fluid on the FAST. No pneumothorax.

-Perhaps something went wrong with the procedure?

-No.

Local anaesthetic toxicity wouldn't do this. What did Maternity say? Where's Linda?

-She got called away by Dr Keogh.

-Charming.

-I spoke to Maternity.

-Apparently there was quite a bit of bleeding after delivery but otherwise normal.

-Right.

Sodium low, 124. Potassium is a bit high.

-Hypoglycaemia.

-Should I be contacting CT?

So she bled heavily at childbirth

and she's had trouble feeding her baby?

April, has your baby lost weight?

I can check.

Several ounces.

This isn't the trauma. This is Sheehan's.

Addison's, secondary to Sheehan's syndrome.

April, listen. Because you bled heavily when you gave birth

there was a restricted blood flow to the pituitary gland, so you haven't been producing enough hormones.

Which is why you're struggling to produce enough breast milk.

Today's trauma meant the body was struggling to cope which caused the collapse.

-So it's not my fault?

-No, it's not your fault.

Let's give her 200 mg hydrocortisone, continue the IV fluids.

She'll need a thyroxine replacement. You should get on to intensive care.

Right, April, we'll have to keep you in for a while

and you will have to use formulated milk to feed your baby.

But apart from that, you'll be fine.

I don't care what you say. I'm not giving him back.

But he's hungry. We should take him inside and get him something to eat.

We're not going anywhere with you.

It's OK. You're safe now.

I'll look after you and get a job and you, me and Joe,

we'll go to the zoo and eat ice cream

and do all the stuff normal families do.

-No-one'll hurt us ever again.

-You make it look so easy.

It's not hard. You just cuddle them.

You know, when you were that size, your mum couldn't put you down without you crying.

She had to sleep sitting up with you under her armpit.

Looked so uncomfortable, but it never bothered her.

That was the happiest I'd ever seen her.

Well, why did she leave us?

But I know that this baby's mum doesn't want to leave him.

If little Jed could talk he'd want to be with his mum, wouldn't he?

-When can I see my baby?

-Soon, definitely.

Ah, Captain Jessup. I'm glad you could join us.

-Has she gone?

-I think so, sir.

I'm afraid you've a bleed on your brain so we'll have to admit you.

Well, if there are no further questions.

-Sorry, someone to see you.

-Thank you.

Two years and I don't hear a thing.

I sat out there in the car trying to think of three good reasons why I shouldn't drive off.

Couldn't think of any.

-I wrote to you.

-What?

-I wrote to you every day.

-I didn't receive any letters.

I never sent them.

So where are they now, these letters?

They were in my trolley.

I think I set fire to them.

He's all yours.

BIG MAC: Go on, admit it.

Underneath that gruff exterior you've actually got a heart.

Don't be ridiculous.

-Ah, Dolittle.

-Poppins. What's that?

Quinoa, butternut squash and alfalfa salad

with a drizzle of balsamic and pomegranate molasses.

-How's your tramp?

-He's an ex-serviceman actually.

-You know, it wasn't his fault.

-What wasn't?

-The accident this morning.

My patient set fire to the trolley. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Good news, Krusty. The crash wasn't your fault.

Did you hear what I said?

I stepped on a landmine

but because it was laid by the Soviets and not the Taliban

I wasn't entitled to any compensation.

I stopped believing in justice a long time ago.

So you're planning to rot in jail with a big beard in a pool of your own urine?

Aye.

You might have to reappraise that remarkably aspirational life plan

because a young boy's already come forward and taken the rap.

OK? You trod on a landmine. Boo-hoo. You're still alive.

I could organise for Urology to see you after the neurosurgeons have reviewed you.

I could fix you up with a long-term catheter.

I could refer you to our chronic pain management team

or try to find you a place in a homeless shelter.

I could, in short, assist you on the road to recovery.

But I don't want to waste my time.

For reasons I can't fathom, your wife still seems to harbour feelings for you.

Don't you think it's time you stopped feeling sorry for yourself

and started thinking of others for a change?

Lenny, what you said earlier

about me being too harsh on the kids, you were right.

Apology accepted. Perhaps whilst we're at it I should...

Apology accepted.

Where are they anyway?

Big Mac's taken them on a tour of the morgue.

Genius.

What was it like growing up in care?

There was no Aunt May or Uncle Ben.

Thank you.

Just a sec.

"My darling Tiggywinkle.

"Leg hurts this morning and I think I might have mice in my beard.

"Do hedgehogs live near the sea?

"Tell Marmot that this really is our time to be together.

"I never stopped loving you."

He gave it to me this morning. Not Wilfred Owen, but you get the gist.

We're waiting for a bed and then you'll be moved to Maternity.

The medics agreed to look after you both there.

How are you feeling?

I'm so terrified I'm going to do something wrong.

And that he's going to be taken away from me.

Well, he's here. And you're the best mum he's ever had.

Do you not have any children?

No.

Mummy's going to have to start looking after herself, isn't she?

Because right now I'm all you've got.

With handwriting like that, you'll be after my job.

You see the urologist and keep your appointments.

You go to AA, counselling, whatever the hell they offer you.

Get yourself a place in sheltered housing. Have a shave and a shower.

And then write to me, every day, and post the goddamn letters.

In a month, come and find me.

Then we'll talk.

Hi, this is a message for Stephanie Luscombe. It's Linda Andrews here.

I'm going to need some help but the answer's yes.

If they want to, the kids can stay with me.

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