Too Old for This Shift Casualty

I think it's a really big deal.

30 years ago, Charlie Fairhead walked through those doors.

-You terrorise her, you degrade her.

-Don't you dare judge me!

We both know your daughter's a vicious bully.

Well, I'm sorry to inform you but your daughter's injuries

were self-inflicted.

It's OK, Mum. I get it now.

Sometimes you have to put yourself first.

Oh, it's, erm... It's just Steph.

She's going the same way. It doesn't matter.

I just didn't want to talk to her.

-Get over!

-What is she doing?

Mum!

THEY SCREAM

What can I say? I could talk about your service.

I could talk about your dedication.

I could even talk about your friendship.

But most importantly, it's your commitment to a job you love.

A commitment to the NHS.

A commitment to this hospital that spans no less than three decades

and, quite frankly, that's nothing short of incredible.

You, Charlie Fairhead, are nothing short of incredible.

Congratulations on a remarkable achievement.

-<

-We love you, Charlie!

-Come on in.

-No, come in, come in. Come on, right...

-Oh, Mum...

-Mum, get off me!

-Come on!

Congratulations, Charlie.

See you at the party! We love you!

-Mmm...

-Mum!

MUFFLED GASP

ENGINE REVS

Do you know what I've just realised?

Charlie's been working here longer than I've actually been alive.

Trying to work out if that is really inspiring or properly depressing.

Erm, Jacob, Dylan, you still owe me money for the present.

I already put cash in the tin.

-Yeah, me too.

-No, this is extra. This is for the...vodka luge.

What vodka luge?

We found a company online

that's going to recreate Charlie out of ice. Life-size.

Hang on!

I don't want to pay 20 quid to drink straight vodka out of Charlie's...

Out of his what?

There'll be loads of...orifices, depending on how intimate you want to get.

When Mrs Beauchamp put you in charge of organising,

I really don't think this is what she had in mind.

-Mmm... Noel's not in charge.

-Yes, I am.

-Then what am I doing?

You're assisting. You're ably assisting.

-What about the cake?

-Look, the cake is ordered and en route.

Just take a chill pill, Lady Lou.

-I'd be able to, if you weren't so inept.

-Harsh but fair. Come on. Pay up.

I've heard about your promotion. You can afford it.

Yeah, king of the ED. Show us your green.

Jacob...

I've found your agency nurse. This is Amira.

Hi.

-What?

-Nothing.

-Robyn was just telling us about her...

-Rash.

Was I? Uh, I was.

Erm, it'll clear up.

With the antibiotics. We're hoping for a clean...

HE WHISTLES

That's grim.

Why don't I show you round?

We're a friendly bunch here, really.

We tend to muck in, get things done.

Triage. Cubicles.

And Resus is back down that corridor.

I have worked in a hospital before.

Right. But not this one.

And actually, I don't think I'm on shift for about another...

seven minutes or so?

Charlie, mate. Huge congrats on your 30 years at Holby.

Erm, that's mad, mate, that's properly mad. Erm...

So, when Noel asked me to do this, I started thinking about when

we first met, how we didn't get off to the best of starts,

because, obviously, well, I knew everything. So, erm...

But what I soon came to realise and what everyone realises

in the end is that you are very much the man.

The main man. The ayatollah.

Kind of. So, erm, yeah.

Keep doing what you're doing. I hope you have a good day.

Much love, mate, much love.

So the staffroom is just through there, and I'll see you in there.

What are you doing?

Six minutes, 12 seconds.

Sorry... Amira, wasn't it?

-Jacob Masters, acting clinical nurse ma...

-Shut up.

Shut up!

No!

Tell me everything. Shut up!

-Good luck.

-I hate agency staff.

They're not all bad.

Listen, Charlie, erm...

What's on your mind?

I was thinking, maybe, erm...

I was going to propose.

Do you not think you're moving a bit too fast?

Yeah, probably. But...

I don't know if you heard but I'm a pretty big deal around here now.

And plus the fact that Grace is finally cool with everything...

If you get a chance at happiness, you grab it with both hands.

-Good luck, kid.

-No, wait! She hasn't said yes yet.

Touche. Where do you want me? In Resus?

Nah, you're all right, old man. We've got it covered.

You can take Cubicles. Cheers.

Not a formal thing later, is it?

I don't know.

What?

Nothing.

Sorry.

I...

Yes.

Every day, something new out on that rig.

Sometimes scary,

sometimes sad.

But heading back to ED

and seeing you, Charlie,

you knew you were safe.

You knew you were home.

You were always home for me.

Grace...

Oh...

I, erm... I need an ambulance. There's been an accident.

Hello? Hello?

CAR HORN BLARES

Love, you all right?

HE TUTS

That's mature, isn't it? When I'm saving lives.

Bed seven?

Yes, please.

Oh! No!

Josh.

What are you doing here?

I can't tell you.

It's a surprise.

SHE GASPS

Oh...

I'm coming...

Mummy's coming.

SHE GASPS

Grace, listen...

You know you asked about that puppy?

OK, we're going to do that.

OK, baby?

We're going to do that, you and me.

When we get out of here.

I want you to think of a name.

SHE EXHALES

-BONES CRACK

-Oh!

Grace, get out of the car.

Grace, get out of the car!

Get out of the car!

All right, she's arrested.

I need to intubate. Can you get the kit?

Yeah, I'm on it.

Stay with me!

Come on!

You really didn't know?

Well, people have been acting weird.

What's new?

No, I...honestly forgot.

Remember my first day.

I was so green.

Nah. You'd have been tougher than you think,

-considering what we had to work with back then.

-Yeah.

Someone had an MI, you gave them five of diamorph, held your breath.

Manual defib paddles.

Practically cavemen.

Remember that RTC I brought in?

Young family on their way to a wedding. Resus dripping in blood.

No gloves.

Not even a thought about hep C or HIV.

-CROAKY VOICE:

-They hadn't even invented penicillin by then, had they(?)

-NORMAL VOICE:

-We've come a long way, that's for sure.

Yeah, full circle, I reckon. I've just been banished from Resus.

A life in Cubicles for me.

Well, 30 years is not a bad run, is it?

Had to end some time.

The day the great Charlie Fairhead hangs up his gloves

is the day the NHS falls off a cliff.

-<

-No! No! I don't like this place. I want to go home.

-<

-Will you take your grubby little pincers off of me?

Are you hard of hearing or were you born petulant?

-I said, I want to go home!

-We need you to calm down.

All right, just calm down, please. Thank you.

-What have we got?

-Sally Hodge. 74.

She was found collapsed in her flat by the postman.

Her left leg is visibly shortened and externally rotated.

She also has bruising on her abdomen and ribs.

And she seems confused.

I'm not confused, I want to go home.

And...and I need to use the cloakroom.

What's the cloakroom?

Amira, could you get us a slipper bedpan, please?

Now, Ms Hodge, you see these people?

They're here to help you.

By the sound of it, you've got a fractured hip.

You'll need treatment.

So will you please just let these people do their jobs?

And who are you?

My name is Charlie Fairhead. I'm a nurse here.

Would you like a strawberry bonbon?

Oh, dear. No bonbons.

Why don't you suck on those?

It'll save the rest of us your unsolicited drivel.

Let's keep moving, please.

OK.

Why are we going down here? I wanted to go home!

-No! I don't want to go down here!

->

-30 years...

-It's like a prison!

->

..and every day a dream.

Come on, Grace!

Come on, talk to me!

Sweetheart...

SIREN WAILS

SHE SOBS

Grace, get out of the car!

Grace...

Baby, get out of the car! Oh, baby, please!

Grace!

Gracie, get out!

Oh...

No...

SHE SOBS

Are you sure you're eating properly?

You know, it's essential to have a balanced and healthy diet.

Coming round to cook, are you(?)

Well...

..play your cards right, you never know.

There's evidence of angular stomatitis and koilonychia.

Also pale conjunctiva.

Combined with shortness of breath and raised heart rate.

Let's run FBC and send bloods to Haemolytics.

I'm going to lower the bed and have a feel of your abdomen.

SHE GASPS

Are you sure there are no friends or family we can contact?

Someone to come and sit with you?

You're a very patronising man.

Had a friend just like you once. I couldn't stand him.

He's dead now, thank the Lord.

Slightly distended. You mentioned the cloakroom earlier?

Does it still feel like you need to go?

Like a dripping tap that doesn't drip.

All right, you might still be a little shaken from the fall.

Spent half my life on the latrine. Back and forth.

X-ray are ready.

Can we catheterise Ms Hodge when she returns?

I'm not having Fairhead anywhere near my watering hole,

-thank you very much.

-No, don't worry. Louise will do that.

It'll make you feel a lot more comfortable.

What are you smirking at?

Did we manage to find a next of kin?

Nope. And no prior ED attendances, no out-patient appointments.

When I asked her about a GP, she said she wasn't registered.

OK. Sounds about right.

Amira, where's the bedpan?

Where's the bedpan?

-I couldn't find one.

-What do you mean, you couldn't find one?

I don't know where they are.

Did it occur to you to look in the sluice?

-Were you going to tell me, or..?

-I just did.

You know I said earlier about us all mucking in?

Well, I meant that.

If you don't start pulling your weight around here,

you and me are going to have a big problem.

-Charlie, do you want me to go get it?

-No, I'll do it.

What?

Hi, Charlie.

I'm so sorry I can't be with you to celebrate your 30 years.

It's such a wonderful achievement!

And you're such a wonderful man.

I couldn't have asked for a better colleague

or a better friend for all those years.

You said to me once that nursing, it's not just a job,

it's a vocation.

It's a lifestyle. It's a calling.

I'm so glad I found my calling.

And I'm so glad I found you.

Congratulations, Charlie!

I've just been over to the pub. It's looking quite good.

-How long... You've missed the "A".

-I haven't. What are you talking about?

-After the "L", before the "T". You've missed the "A".

-Oh, for f...

That's the pressure of being in charge. Probably want to fix that.

-Yes, thank you(!)

-Hey, it's Amira, isn't it?

Listen, I don't know if you know,

but today is Charlie Fairhead's 30-year thing and...

-Which one's Charlie?

-Uh...hair like an albino Brillo pad?

-He looks like he might smell of old library books.

-Oh.

-Anyway, if you'd like to sign...

-No.

Right. Cool. There's a party later, if you fancy it.

I'm going. Most of us are going.

It should be a laugh.

I could treat you to a jug of woo woo?

Or maybe something more to your ta... Or not...

Looks like you just crashed and burned, buddy.

-Yeah.

-Worth a crack, though.

Yeah.

She remind you of anyone?

-No. Who?

-No-one.

Connie, give me a call, please, babe.

Let me know what time you're heading back, yeah?

Afternoon. This is our RTC, Stephanie Sims.

Female, 37 years of age.

She was hit head on by a car at approximately 40mph.

On arrival, she was in PEA arrest, CPR and intubated.

OK, across on three, please. One, two, three.

She's had 6mg of adrenaline,

one litre of saline, and we've now got a return of circulation.

-Are you happy with the airway?

-I am, yeah.

-There's bilateral air entry.

What did you say her name was?

Stephanie. Sims.

Steph?

Whoa, whoa! Guys, watch where you're going.

Yeah. Same to you, an' all.

Iain, don't look at her! She'll turn you to stone.

-Immature boys.

-Connie, it's me. Where are you?

Call me as soon as you get this.

Guys? What happened to her?

Well, it looks like she'd stopped for something,

-she stepped out of the car and...

-Whack!

Her hazard lights were on when we got there.

-So, what, she broke down?

-To me, it looked like she'd been clipped,

because there was damage right down the side of her car and, erm...

the window was smashed.

-Damage to HER car?

-Mm-hm.

-But that doesn't make any sense.

What doesn't? What is it?

Jacob?

PHONE RINGS

'Connie - it's me.

'We've got Steph in Resus and she's in a bad way.

'You're not answering your phone. Where are you?

'You need to call me as soon as you get this.'

Mate, we need to ask Control if we can head back out.

-Then do it.

-You're probably worrying about nothing.

-I'm coming with you.

-Look, if we find anything, we'll let you know.

I've cleared it with the team. I'm coming with you. Come on, let's move.

Is there someone who comes in to the flat to help out?

Do you manage to get out much?

Now, what would I go out for?

Oh, I don't know. A breath of fresh air, a trip to the shops.

It's good get out and about.

I'd love to pop a cork in that cake hole.

The X-ray is back and it confirms a fractured neck of femur.

I'm going to call down the bone specialists and see what the

-best course of action is...

-Will I be needing an operation?

I'm afraid so.

Your bloods also confirm that you're anaemic

so you need some iron tablets,

but our priority at the moment is your fractured hip.

No, no. Well, I feel a lot better now.

-Can I not just go?

-Would you say you feel more comfortable

since the catheter went in?

Was there much residual urine when she was catheterised?

Not really. Three plusses of blood on the dip test.

I've sent off a CSU.

I'm going to have another feel of your flank.

You may have a urinary tract infection.

Charlie, can I borrow you, please?

Take him. He's getting on me wick.

You know, talking to her,

I'm pretty sure she hasn't been out of that flat in a long time.

And I'm thinking years.

JD Salinger. He was a recluse.

Hang on. Look here.

We just caught the edge of it, next to the ureter?

What is it?

Could be a staghorn calculus...

Kidney stones?

Let's run KUB X-ray to confirm.

So that's Steph's car?

Yep. See, the whole side of it is scraped away.

Why, what are you thinking?

Connie?

CONNIE?

Mend and make do, eh?

-Mm-hm. Keep calm and carry on.

-Dig for victory.

-Eh?

-No idea.

Listen, people are going to start coming off work in a minute

and they'll need marshalling over to the pub.

Right, I'll crack on with that, then.

-You all right, mate?

-Hello, mate! You all right?

Yeah. No. Look, have you ever tried a cheeky Vimto?

-Ah, yeah. Might have.

-Man, they're brutal. It's like someone

-was taking my...

-You know, I'm going to stop you there.

There's really nothing more boring than hearing about someone else's hangover.

-Are you going to Charlie's thing?

-I am. You going?

-Yeah, everyone's going. It's going to be a laugh.

-Great.

I tell you what, if I'm here in 30 years, you have permission to shoot me in the head.

Connie?

Jacob, this is madness, mate.

You don't even know if she's been out here...

Just keep driving! Connie?

There! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! There, there!

TYRES SCREECH

Connie!

Call it in!

I'm right behind you, mate!

I'll find a way down!

3006 to Holby Control, priority call.

I need a secondary.

Major RTC - one female thrown from the vehicle,

a second casualty as yet unlocated.

Potential serious injuries due to MOI. Request medical team on site.

B4525 near the Brookbank turning. Over.

No! No, no, no! Connie!

OK, can you hear me?

Can you hear me?

You're going to be OK. All right?

You're going to be OK. We're go... We're going to get you out of here.

Where's Grace?

Connie? Connie, where's Grace?

Grace is in there?

My baby girl...

HE GASPS

It's OK, baby.

It's OK.

-My baby girl...

-It's OK.

Is that Sally Hodge's X-ray?

What's that?

If I told you what I think it might be, I'm not sure you'll believe me.

PHONE RINGS

Holby ED. Mm-hm.

Mm-hm.

I got it. We'll send someone. Thank you.

Erm...major RTC. They're requesting a medical team.

Would you be OK to go?

Erm...yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Erm... Dylan?

Yes?

-It's Mrs Beauchamp.

-What do you mean, it's Mrs Beauchamp?

The RTC. Connie Beauchamp was thrown from the vehicle.

Grace is there too.

Right. Right... OK...

Until we understand exactly what we're dealing with,

this is "need to know". Just the Resus team. Agreed?

Yeah, erm... Henrik Hanssen, please.

Well, then, get him out of his meeting!

There's no way that's what you think it is.

The radiologist seemed to agree.

Aren't they, like, ridiculously rare?

Yeah. A few hundred. In all medical history.

It's so freaky.

It's not my first.

No, really.

Mr Fairhead, we've seen a lot of things over the years, me and you.

Too many things, you could say.

But that's what happens, I guess,

when you've been around as long as we have,

old fossils that we are.

But that experience, that consistency of care,

that body of knowledge, well, that means something.

So here's to another 30 years.

Sally, have you ever been pregnant?

Well, I'm not pregnant.

Not now. In the past.

Have you ever been pregnant?

Why does it matter?

It's very important.

Yes. When I was a teenager. But I miscarried...

The X-ray confirmed the presence of what is known as a lithopedion.

More commonly known as calcified or stone baby.

When you miscarried,

your body didn't do so in the traditional sense.

The foetus would have died during an abdominal pregnancy,

too large to be reabsorbed by the body,

and it was calcified to prevent infection.

You mean... my baby is still inside me?

-It would have died many, many years ago.

-Oh, no!

We'll take you to Theatre now to have it removed.

Do you have any questions you'd like to ask?

This would probably explain why you've had problems

going to the loo.

And now that we know, we can fix it.

I'll be back with the surgeon.

You know how this works. We need to secure your neck, all right?

-Baby, listen to me. Listen to me!

-No, no, I don't care...

Look, we are doing everything we can.

We need to get you to the hospital. All right?

Jacob...

She's not here. Grace isn't here.

There's no-one in the car.

So where the hell is she?

SIREN WAILS

Take it round and I'll see you down there, OK?

-Grace?!

-Grace, where are you?

Grace!

Help, please...

-Stabilise her neck, Jez!

-Yeah!

Grace, can you hear me, darling? It's Iain.

It's all right, Grace, we're here now. Listen to me, OK?

Are you finding it difficult to breathe?

OK, OK, just try not to talk, all right?

Absent breath sounds on the left.

3006 to Holby Control. I need to request heli-med if available, over.

Jacob? We found her! We've got Grace.

-Grace...

-All right, Connie...

She's injured but she's stable.

Stay still, baby. You need to stay still.

-Please...

-She's stable. She's stable.

I don't know what she looks like, do I?

That's the point of a blind date. She's one of Kirsty's friends.

You know, Kirsty, with the teeth?

Yeah. I've got to go.

I'm out on a shout, I've got to go.

Mum, I'll speak to you later. Shepherd's pie is fine.

Bye.

Holby radar, Heli-Medical 12 - we are on a category alpha.

Lifting out of Holby and en route to the B4525. Over.

'Roger, Heli-Medical 12. QNH is 1013.

'Base to service, report letting down at scene. Over.'

-What's taking so long...

-Listen to me. Connie?

We need to get you on the board, we need to get you out of here, OK?

-No!

-Right, she's going to do herself more harm.

Yeah, well, any suggestions?

-40 of ketamine.

-No!

She's in pain and distressed. Grace is stable.

-This is for her own good...

-No, please don't.

-Do you want to do it, or shall I?

-I don't care who does it.

-Please don't put me under...

-Connie.

-Please...

The longer that we spend with you,

the less time that we get with Grace. OK?

-Please don't do it. Please...

-You have to let us do our jobs.

OK? You understand that, all right?

OK? Yeah?

Good.

OK. You're just going to feel a little scratch.

Just a precaution.

Make you feel nice and comfortable...

5mg of morphine.

BP 110 systolic. Pulse 90.

Sats 96%.

All right. Let's get her out of here.

3006 to Control. I need an ETA on that air ambulance, over.

She can't go up in a helicopter with a pneumo...

I know.

Dylan, I need you over here, mate!

OK, keep pushing the fluid.

I'm coming with you, OK?

Holby radar, Heli-Medical 12. Landing in five minutes. Over.

Roger, Heli-Medical 12. 2703 at 15 knots. Over.

You said it was life-size.

Is that supposed to be Charlie?

My nan had figurines bigger than that.

Looks more like Morph to me.

Do you think we'll have to give people their money back?

You're such an idiot.

Cake's arrived.

Oh, great. How's it looking?

"Chill, Lady Lou," that's what you said.

We can fix it.

It's too late for that! And people's...

It's not funny.

-I know.

-Then why are you laughing?

No, it's just... You literally couldn't organise a...in a pub.

It'll be fine. Come on. Grab me a knife.

We can sort this out.

Kai?

Won't be long.

I'm sorry... I...

Where...

Ah.

I told the doctor I'd miscarried.

But that wasn't true.

I was a sinner.

I had sinned so I'd...

I tried to fix it myself.

Did anyone know?

Oh, the Sisters found out, right enough.

But by then it was too late. I'd...

I'd committed a terrible crime.

Oh, I was only a young girl.

But it was like time stopped for me right there.

I'm so sorry.

It was a different world back then.

Not so different.

Abortion's still illegal in many countries.

Well, shame on them. And shame on me.

You've got nothing to be ashamed about.

This sort of thing, you know, there are people you can talk to...

Talking never got anybody anywhere.

You've been going ten to the dozen ever since I got here

and all you've done is give me earache.

I thought I'd lost my baby

and all the time...

But now...

Time...

I mean...

..maybe it could start again?

Oh, you don't half talk some gobble.

But you're a good man, Charlie.

Sorry to interrupt. Can I borrow you?

You might want to change.

Oh, is this your surprise party everybody's talking about?

If you want to be helpful, pay your child support...

-I'm late for work.

-And answer your phone.

I've got more important things to be doing than this.

Yeah? Yeah, well, good for you.

Why are you leaving presents on the doorstep like some creepy,

-screwed-up Father Christmas?

-He's my son!

-He's got enough.

Yeah! Cos you buy it him.

Yeah? What about me?

You can't afford to waste money buying presents.

Look at where you live.

You're pathetic.

What can I say? You have that effect on women!

Just leave us alone!

What are you looking at?

Mum?

Well, she has got a pneumothorax, I think she's got a flail chest...

-On the other side?

-Yeah. Amazingly so.

All right, Grace. Darling, you're doing really well.

Just keep looking at me, sweetheart, that's it.

OK, I need the... I need the portable kit.

Yeah, I got it.

OK, Grace, nice and calm, sweetheart, good girl.

I will act surprised. I promise. Scout's honour.

Amira, any chance you could stay on

for a couple of hours at the end of your shift?

-Looks like we're going to be a nurse down.

-I'd rather die.

That'll be a no, then, eh(?)

-Nice, isn't she?

-Isn't she!

MUSIC: My Generation by The Who

All right, Georgey Best.

Just nice to have the night off, mate.

So, how is life upstairs? All good?

-Yeah. Can't complain.

-Kids all right?

-Yeah, awesome.

Erm, can I get another one of those and, erm, what do you want?

-Yeah, same.

-Yeah? Two.

-Thanks.

Listen! Everybody, get down.

-Get down!

-Get the lights!

MUSIC STOPS

Shh! Shh!

ALL: Surprise!

ALL: Aww!

You said he was coming!

ALL: Surprise!

MUSIC: Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees

Surprised? Come on. We're on.

CHEERING

-It hurts.

-I know, darling, but you're doing really well, OK?

Seriously, you're like... Superwoman.

Or Catwoman! No. Batwoman. That's it!

You know, Grace, I've got a blind date later.

Bit nervous about it, to be honest.

Any tips? Last one didn't go too well...

-She went to the toilet and never came back.

-I want my mum...

Oh, Grace, right, she's gone to the hospital

and we're going to go there very soon, OK?

I'm going to come with you, you're not going to be on your own,

-all right?

-I want to speak... I want to speak to her.

-OK.

-That's sounding a bit better.

-I'll tell you what, Grace,

I've got an idea. Why don't we leave her a little message, eh?

Your attention, please, ladies and gentlemen!

Ladies and gentlemen, a bit of hush. Thank you.

1980...

1986.

The year that Gary Lineker became the most expensive

British footballer ever in a £2.75 million move

from Everton to FC Barcelona.

1986. The year the M25 was completed.

1986.

The year that Mike Tyson became the youngest heavyweight champion

in history.

1986.

The year a fresh-faced,

bouncy-haired nurse entered at Holby City Hospital A&E.

Hey, hey! Noddy Holder!

No, Fletch, unfortunately it's not Noddy Holder,

it's our very own Charlie Fairhead!

30 years, ladies and gents. 30 years!

And with that in mind, we've put together a little something for ya!

Let's take a look at your journey. Come on.

Press it.

Talk amongst yourselves, folks. There's a slight technical glitch.

It's Noel's fault, by the way. Don't blame me.

Let's just fix it, shall we?

Well, at least if...

the medicine thing doesn't pan out, you've always got the...

children's entertainment.

Oh, what? You don't think I'm cut out to be a doctor, or...?

No!

No, no... I...

I didn't mean that.

Oh. Sorry, what did you mean?

I was taking about the...the...

the... Agh! ..glove puppet.

Ah.

I...

-I'm going to get a drink, anyway, yeah.

-Yeah. Of course.

Sorry.

You should. It's two for one.

Oh, is it?

Whoop.

Seriously.

So, erm...new jeans?

-Yes.

-Did you spray 'em on, or...?

-What's wrong with them?

-Nah, it's just that...

-I think I can see Little Ethan, that's all.

-Ohh!

I'm not in the mood, Cal.

Oh, come on.

All right, listen. If you want to get Alicia in the sack,

you've got to be smart about it.

Match her emotions.

She's spiky, you're spiky back.

She's vulnerable, you're vulnerable.

She's horny...

you're horny!

It'd be great if, just once, you weren't so childish.

That is sound advice, Ethan!

And we're back in business!

CHEERING

Studio, run VT.

MUSIC: With A Little Help From My Friends by Joe Cocker

CROWD OOHS AND AHS

Mr Fairhead, it's your birthday.

-We're going to party like it's your birthday!

-Get on with it!

Well, it's a... It's a birthday of sorts, because...

I'm reliably informed that it's 10,950 days of loyal service!

CHEERING

So, from us, the staff...

CHEERING

..and from all the patients that you've helped over the years,

we just want to say a big, heart-felt thank you.

To Charlie...

ALL: To Charlie!

We love you!

# What would you do if I sang out of tune?

# Would you stand up and walk out on me?

# Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song

# I will try not to sing out of key

# Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

# By with a little help from my friends... #

-GRACE:

-'Mummy... Mummy, it's me.

'I'm going in the helicopter but Iain says I'm going to be OK.

'He said I need to think about the good stuff,

'like when me and you went to see The Hunger Games

'and we thought we saw Harry Styles.

'But it was just a girl with the same hair.

'Iain says I'm going to be in the bed next to you.

'I've got to go now, Mummy. I love you.'

Sally has just gone into Theatre.

To Charlie!

Oh, right.

The surgeons think, if all goes well, she'll make a full recovery.

The mass was pressing onto her bladder, which was causing

quite a bit of discomfort.

I've contacted social services already just in case, if she...

Too many rehearsals!

Right... Lily, that's...that's great news.

But I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

We've been here for 20 minutes.

Yes. Sorry. Congratulations.

Lenny!

See, I still remember my surprise party when I left

and I swear that sucker aged me, like, ten years.

Thing is, though, I had ten years to spare.

I'm not sure you do.

LAUGHTER

Seriously, though. I'm made up for you, my ol' mucker, I really am.

What you should do tonight

is get on the whiskies and get on the cigars, because you deserve it.

Cheers, man.

I'm calling it a night.

Yeah, that's probably wise. You're not driving, though, are you?

-No. I'm going to get a cab.

-Good.

-Charlie, you're amazing.

-Hey, it's Alice.

You were such a good friend to me, and mentor and...

Well, I can't really imagine that place without you.

I just want to say thank you for everything that you did for me,

all the support you gave...

You made me the nurse that I am today.

Charlie. Erm... Yeah. Erm... I just wanted to say...

You've always been there for me.

Whether I asked you to be or not.

Always hanging around!

Seriously, you've helped me through some tough times, and...

been there for the good ones, too,

so I just wanted to say I'm proud to call you a mate.

Congratulations on your dirty thirty.

Will you get the camera away from me, please?

Will you stop filming me?

HE WHISPERS

OK, I want a full trauma scan

and let's get a cross-match right away, please.

-No...

-I've got the bloods.

-No, I'm fine.

-Jacob, no. Bex?

I don't want a scan. No.

OK, let's get that trauma scan now, please.

-No, I said no.

-Connie...

No.

I've got a GCS of 15,

have no neurology...

Look, I have a full range of movements, OK?

-Get the collar off.

-This isn't a good idea.

-Do it.

-No, I can go and put my scrubs back on.

It's Grace that needs help.

Where is she? Why is she not here yet?

-All right, Mrs Beauchamp, stop.

-I can put my scrubs back on.

-I need to do a head-to-pelvis CT.

-No. Charlie, tell her.

There are far too many people in here. Outside, please.

-No. No. I'm more use here.

-Charlie, I need you...

I need calm in here. Outside, all of you, please.

For now. Thank you.

Then why did you call me over?

It's Dr Gardner's call.

I need you to tell me when Stephanie Sims is out of Theatre.

Charlie, is she going to be OK?

I don't know.

What about Grace?

She is on her way in the air ambulance.

-Sorry, Charlie, I just wanted to say...

-Not now.

-No, I want to, cos then...

-Look, I said, not now.

I'm trying to apologise, you sanctimonious old man.

All right, that's enough! Isn't it time you left?

-Yeah. I couldn't agree more.

-So go. Get out.

I mean, you are the best, mate, and you expect the best.

Professional, passionate and fair.

That's what I think of when I hear your name.

Charlie Fairhead.

And when they called me to say you're celebrating 30 years,

I thought, "Wow, it's got to be more like 50."

You look old, mate, to be honest!

Top banana, keep in touch.

Where is everyone?

Um... I think you'd better take a seat.

No, I'm telling you now.

I'm not going to CT until I see my daughter.

-Connie...

-No.

It's my final answer.

Do whatever you need to do here, a chest X-ray,

whatever is going to shut you up.

Right, let's get an X-ray.

Hey...

I need to know where my daughter is.

Look, she's in the helicopter and she'll be here soon, all right?

Holby radar, Heli-medical 12. We're coming in to land. Over.

Nice jeans.

Yes. They're...they're new.

She'll be OK, won't she?

Mrs Beauchamp is a tough cookie.

-I was talking about her daughter.

-Right.

DRONE BUZZES

ALARM BEEPS

Mayday! Mayday! Heli-medical 12.

Mayday! Mayday!

Mayday... Argh!

Alicia!

THEY SCREAM

What was that?

ALARMS BLARE

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

SUDDEN SILENCE

HIGH-PITCHED WHINE

MUFFLED SCREAMS

-MUFFLED:

-Hey! Are you all right? Are you OK?

Can you hear me?

Calm.

All right, everybody keep moving that way.

Keep moving that way, please.

-Keep moving, please!

-You both all right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're fine.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

This way, please.

All right. Everybody keep moving that way.

Please keep moving that way!

Everybody out that way, please!

This way, please! Thank you!

-Keep moving!

-Moving that way!

What the hell is going on?

Where's Grace?

Where's Grace?

Jacob!

I'll find out. She'll be OK.

I promise.

Keep calm, all right? Cool heads.

-OK. Everyone through this way. All right!

-Cal?

All right, let's try and get you up. You all right?

It missed.

Look, I know it's difficult, but try and find your focus.

Assess as quickly as possible, and keep people moving back.

Yeah.

We have to get to Grace!

Jacob!

Jacob! Take it steady!

How long for the fire crew?

Get Resus clear!

Jacob, it's not safe. Wait for the fire crew!

HE STRAINS

What, both of them?

HE YELLS

Charlie!

You stay back! I'll handle this.

Shouldn't we at least move them?

No. Leave the bodies where they are.

This has to be treated as a crime scene now.

Just cover them up.

Stop that! Oi!

-Please, play fair!

-What are you doing?

Ah...

Just keep checking them out.

As always, watch out for the quiet ones.

COUGHING

Ethan?

-CLANG

-Oh! Oh!

Ethan.

Oh, no. No, no...

Somebody help, please!

SIRENS WAIL

FOOTBALL COMMENTARY ON TV

Where is everyone?

The dressing's striking through. Can you just stay still for me, please?

No. This is taking too long.

Please, Mrs Beauchamp... No, you need a pressure dressing.

It's Grace. They have a pulse.

The helicopter crashed.

They're looking after her. They're bringing her in.

Jacob is bringing her in.

Let me remind you you've been in a high-impact RTC,

ejected from the vehicle, dislocated your shoulder...

Please get back in that bed for me. Let us treat you.

-Connie, please. This is enough.

-You're lucky to even be alive!

-Move out of my way!

-No.

Charlie?

Yes.

Is Grace in there?

Yes, she is. Jacob's with her.

She's got a pulse.

It's OK, Gracie, I'm here. Stay with me, we're going to get you out.

Iain! Are you OK? Your leg!

You've got to get that checked out, man.

I'm fine! Just start helping out!

Stay with me...

Is she stuck there, Jacob?

We need to cut her out.

Josh? Put this on.

Get her out of there as quickly as you can, please.

-We need to close this department.

-No, no, no, we can't close.

We've got to get her in there.

-All right, well, I trust you'll do what's necessary.

-Thank you.

"Dear Mr Hanssen.

"On your first day at this hospital, I'm sure you have enough people

"filling your head with their philosophies and politics

"and what should or shouldn't happen with the state of this place,

"so I'll keep this short.

"Look after my staff, and I'll take care of the rest for you.

"Good luck in the fight ahead.

"Yours sincerely, Charge Nurse Charlie Fairhead."

Thank you.

-Nice and slowly. Go easily. That's it.

-We're closing.

-What?

Apart from Connie and Grace, no more admissions.

I have to let everybody inside know.

Most of our lot won't have seen anything like this.

-Charlie.

-What?

What do you need me to do?

-Can you take inside?

-Yes.

Ahh... Ahh!

Oh! You're alive! Ethan, are you hurt?

Ah...

I don't think so.

Are you OK?

Yes. Yeah, I'm fine.

We're trapped under the scaffold.

I'm going to try and come to you.

HE GROANS

OK. Maybe not. I think my leg's stuck.

I'm coming to get you.

Iain, with me.

I'm fine.

You're no help to anyone with that leg. Let me look, I'll be quick.

-Charlie!

-Yeah?

Charlie, I can't find Ethan anywhere.

We'll find him, he'll turn up.

Let's just get Grace out, get her sorted, then we'll find him.

Be careful! Be careful!

Come on, Dylan! Come on.

The straps are too tight, I can't undo them.

OK. Have you tried releasing the pressure on the vacuum mattress?

Erm...

OK, that's working! Yeah, it's working.

Let's get her out!

SIRENS WAIL

Ethan and Alicia, have you seen them?

No. We're closing the ED. Take this.

We're closing?

Closing. Apart from Connie and Grace.

Divert all ambulances, all minors go.

Shut Reception, take admin.

Oh, and we'll need to access the major incident cupboard.

Dylan, Elle, yourself. Have you got that?

Right.

Right, that's it, sir! Keep moving, people!

To the left, please!

Keep moving!

Hey! Agency!

Where are you going?

Straight that way, then!

HE WHEEZES

Move out of my way!

Respirations are shallow.

Yeah, I'm not sure this chest drain is still working.

-Max, can you take this outside? I'm coming in.

-Yes. So am I.

No, no, no. I don't need both of you.

Make sure the department's clear.

Get this transferred onto an underwater seal bottle.

And, Charlie, Connie can't know.

OK, I need to see if this is holding.

-Connie...

-Mrs Beauchamp...

-Grace.

-No, no, no, no.

-Mrs Beauchamp,

the vessel's been tied off but we need to close the wound.

-Enough...

-Connie, you have an arterial bleed, I need to sew this.

Connie, please! Connie!

Mrs Beauchamp, you need to listen to your team, please.

No! I need to see my daughter!

Dr Gardner, get this sorted.

We're closing, and I need you to lead.

Dr Gardner, we need to close the wound!

Please... Please help me.

Come on.

Give me your arm.

Let me through. Let me through!

Connie, you can't be in here.

Let her through.

David, chase the surgeon for me.

What's wrong with her?

She has a flail chest and a pneumothorax on the opposite side.

No. Everything.

-Connie, I really don't think...

-Everything.

Grace Beauchamp, ten years old.

Involved in a high-speed RTC which left the road

and fell into a ravine.

Patient ejected from vehicle.

Flail segment on the right chest wall and a pneumothorax on the left.

Size 26 left intercostal drain inserted on scene.

Transferred by air ambulance, which crashed.

Patient sustained new head injuries.

Extensive soft tissue contusion.

GCS between 10 and 13.

Pulse 120.

Resp rate 30, sats 96%.

No further treatment given so far, following the second incident.

OK, that's it, that's it, you're doing really well.

Where do you think you're going? We're closed.

He's having an asthma attack.

We've got stuff set up outside to treat.

He was outside. And now he's inside. Either way, he needs help.

So here's your choice - you either let us through and we have

this out afterwards, or I knock your teeth out in front of everyone

and we're another nurse down, yeah?

He needs a nebuliser.

This way.

Ah! Louise! What did I say about not letting anyone in?

My patient, my rules.

Your knee is not my major concern but I want to get your head scanned.

Lily, my job is to help people.

I've got a crew out there depending on me.

You came down in a helicopter crash

that's left however many dead and a little girl fighting for her life.

Pretty mad, this, innit?

Lily, I really need your help over here.

Stay there.

Jez, I'll be there in five.

Careful, careful, careful.

Nice place you've got here(!)

HE CHUCKLES

It gets more light in the mornings, but, erm...

It's the peace and quiet I come for, really.

Ethan.

It's...it's just cuts.

But my, erm...

I can't move.

-Your patella looks dislocated.

-Yeah.

Right. We're going to have to get you out of here.

-Somebody help, please!

-They can't hear us.

-We're going to have to crawl out.

-I can't move, though, can I?

Sorry.

Let me have a proper look, all right?

I'll hold the leg, you roll these skin-kissers down.

HE CHUCKLES

I was told this is what all the cool kids were wearing.

Seriously?

Well...

Grace, I know you can hear me.

It's very important that you get better soon.

All right? Put all your effort into doing that, please.

Connie.

Let's get another big line in and get some bloods off, please.

She's going to be OK, Jac.

OK. I need you to step back now, please.

You're going to be OK, Gracie.

You're in no fit state. I need you gone.

It's OK. You're OK, baby.

Maybe she's talking sense, Connie. You don't...

-You don't look good.

-She's a little cyanosed.

Sats are falling.

-She's not moving any air under the flail.

-She was earlier.

-Another large pneumothorax.

-Pneumothorax.

Do you want another X-ray?

There's no time, we need to get another drain in.

Get me some sterile gloves and a gown.

-No, I don't think so.

-Oh, come now...

I'm a cardiothoracic surgeon!

No, you're not. Not any more. You're her mother,

which makes you the single worst person to be in this room right now.

Can we lay up a chest drain, please? 28 tube.

All right, now can we get her next door, please?!

-Get a chair.

-All right, gloves and gown, please.

-Come on.

-I got you, I got you.

Well, well, well...

I never thought this moment would actually come.

And it's all on tape, too.

I want a copy of this just so I can show you the evidence.

So, by this old fashioned, I do swear, my dear old mate,

that the only thing you should be thinking of holding up

is a golf flag.

Now, consider this my "I told you" moment.

Give up while you still know what's waiting for you,

while you've still got all your marbles.

You do still...?

All right, just checking!

That grand institution will struggle on without us -

I am living proof of that.

So...

death to all ego, amigo.

Just keep some pressure on that for me, and we'll pop you over there.

Well, quite a team you have.

I couldn't agree with you more.

Oh, no, the press. Would you do the honours, please?

With all due respect, I think my skills lie elsewhere, don't you?

I would like you to be the spokesperson.

I'm sure you would, but that's not where I'm needed.

Erm, Charlie? Could you get us some stuff from Resus?

Robyn says we need a...

Would people please stop telling me what I should

and shouldn't be doing?! You all right?

-No sign?

-No, I thought he might have been in here.

Something is not right, Charlie.

Robyn, we need some help, please.

Yeah, two secs.

Hi, Jez, I'm coming back out with you.

What about your leg?

It's fine. It's just Lily trying it on.

I reckon she fancies me. Come on.

Lovely, well done, thank you.

OK, you just sit there comfortably, OK?

Take as long as you need. I won't let them move you,

you can believe that.

And if Security try anything, film it, blog it, whatever.

Why did you stop for me?

Has he got everything he needs? Cos we're needed out there.

Given him 5mg of nebulised salbutamol.

Then let's move.

Peak flow is fine and sats are up to 98%.

It's only a matter of time before Jobsworth's back in here

telling us time's up anyway.

Cos suddenly you're the conscientious nurse.

You're right.

This doesn't need the both of us.

Don't worry, I'll be back to check on you.

And for the record, Jobsworth is a mate of mine.

His name's Noel and he's ten times the human being

that you will ever be. Just in case you're bothered.

All those people out there...

The crash...

Don't worry, they're not ignoring you, they just...

They just need to prioritise.

No, I mean...

What is it?

I caused it.

Ahhh! No, no, no, no, no!

What is the matter with you?

I'm in my boxer shorts,

I'm stuck under this rubble like Stig of the Dump,

and my knee...

Yes, let me put it back in so we can get out!

Sorry, I've never been very good at being injured.

Cal says that's why I got into medicine,

to learn how to fix myself.

You know, erm...

When I was younger, I, erm...

I used to have a bit of a stammer.

Cal ribbed me about it so much that I wouldn't speak for days.

Well, not to any people, anyway.

I'd lock myself in my room and I used to pretend that my toys

were sick and then I would mend them.

-I ran a sort of a health clinic.

-HE CHUCKLES

Well, erm...

Cal and his friends,

they found out and they stole the medical notes that I'd written.

Things like "Teddy had a poorly tummy",

"Mr Elephant had mucus in his trunk",

and, erm, and then, of course, Nibbles.

For some reason I had dolls as well, and...

Sally Strawberry had sore nibbles.

Sore NIBBLES?

Yes. I was six. I spelled everything phonetically.

That's why Cal calls me Nibbles.

You didn't know that.

OK...

Right. Hold still, OK?

Oh... I don't know why I just told you that.

They thought it was hilarious but actually when you hear it out loud,

it's really not that... funny! Arggghh!

HE GROANS

Right. Now see if you can stand.

I can crawl, maybe.

Thank you.

Hang on a sec.

Connie?

I'm fine, I just fainted.

-Oh...

-OK, let's get the drip reattached, then, please.

Can we have two units of O neg,

FBCs and clotting and three units on the cross-match?

Connie, you're bleeding internally somewhere

so we need to find out where that's coming from, all right?

Don't touch me.

All right, enough of this!

Connie, you're shocked and you are bleeding.

Let's go back to the start - ABCs. She has to do as we say.

Agh!

Connie, are you in pain?

My abdomen.

Yeah, you're guarding a little there.

-FAST scan?

-Thank you.

Yeah, there's free fluid in the abdomen.

Looks like she's torn her liver.

I don't want to push too hard - multiple bone fragments

around the fracture.

Are you OK with the 28?

Have the 26 on standby, just in case.

Sats are dropping rapidly.

You reckon(?) Massive pneumothorax.

Not now.

The boy I brought in...

-This really isn't the time.

-It's just really...

Here. Take some obs.

Nearly there, Grace.

OK, I'm in.

Right. Good girl, that's it.

One...two...three!

All right?

Can you reach it?

SIREN WHOOPS

Yes!

Someone's in there!

Ethan? Alicia?

Yeah, Cal! We're in here!

We're both fine!

OK! Fire crews will have you out in no time!