Episode 21 Casualty

-What's up?

-The long and short of it is I trafficked a Sudanese boy.

What?!

Can we let this voicemail serve as my official resignation from

the post of acting clinical lead of the ED with immediate effect?

I'm sanitising my hands and then I'm checking the airway.

I don't care that you forgot my exam.

I do care about you getting better.

-TV:

-All they have to do is survive the crossing.

The lucky few have life jackets. The rest cling to the side of

-their boat, with only hope as a safeguard.

-Let's get some tunes on!

On, on, on!

CHEERING

What about that?

ARGUMENT DOWNSTAIRS

Get out of my way!

Hey, come on, Raj, let him sleep.

Come here.

What about the weekend? You want to go to Auntie Gillian's?

-He's not worth it. Come...

-He can speak for himself!

My place not good enough for you? Is that it?

-It-It's just...

-What?! Speak up!

Why do you always have to get him so angry?

Nina! Get down here!

ARGUMENT CONTINUES

It looks worse than it is,

but I just need to check there's no glass in there.

Dylan, come on, please, give me a break.

-You OK, Louise?

-Dylan, talk to me.

Tell me what happened. Stand up for me, Dylan, please.

DYLAN CRIES OUT

LOUD HIP-HOP MUSIC ECHOES

HE PANTS

SIREN APPROACHES

You lost or just admiring the view?

-Sorry, straight into Resus.

-Charlie, I was hoping

I could get everyone together. I've got a bit of an announcement.

-Sorry.

-I'll take those, thank you very much.

Sorry, could I just grab everyone's attention?

Louise, can we transfer Mrs Fox up to OPU?

They've got a bed free now, OK?

-Everything all right?

-Yeah, just the concomitant

amount of stress commensurate with my status and responsibilities.

Yes. Er, Louise?

Ethan, we're full to burst,

and one of the patients said 999 put her on hold last night.

This about you getting the consultant job? Congratulations.

Pat on the back, and all that. Well deserved.

-Can I get back to work now, please?

-Yes.

-I'll be there, Dr Hardy. Just let me know when.

-Thank you. Thanks.

All right, little fella? What's been happening to you, then?

She says she found him like this running down the road.

It's lucky she didn't knock him over.

I'll get you a blanket, OK?

Thanks.

Let's have a little look at you.

Can you tell me where it hurts?

I'm here to help you, OK?

Can I have a look?

Good lad. Just nice and slowly.

There you go.

My mum.

She's hurt.

Dylan?

If you're not feeling right, maybe you should go home.

It's nothing. A few painkillers will sort it out.

You don't remember last night, do you? You ended up on the ARC.

Well, I can't be the only person

who's not allowed to let off steam every now and then.

Is everything all right? I've never even seen you drink before.

Are you even safe to be working?

Oh, come on, Louise.

Dylan, I'm just trying to help.

Yeah? Well, can I direct you towards

the Valley of Lost Souls in reception?

Hello, can you hear me?

Hello, love, it's the paramedics.

Police!

They say the family's known to them.

They've put a call out to pick up the dad.

Hello, love. Can you hear me? Do you want to tell me what happened?

SHE MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY

Right, I'm going to pop some oxygen on you.

Just breathe nice and normally for me, OK?

What the hell happened here?

Husband's a right piece of work, apparently.

Local drug dealer who likes to use his fists.

-Mum!

-Can someone get him out of here?

We're just trying to help your mum.

Make her say something! I want to stay with my mum.

We need to get her in ASAP.

SIRENS WAIL

OK. Er...

..I think that's everyone.

-Come on, folks, quieten down.

-Thank you.

Ethan, we don't want to steal your thunder, mate,

but...we all know you got the job.

Actually, I've got another bit of news.

As of today, I am clinical lead of the department.

Just until Mrs Beauchamp returns.

Big shoes to fill.

Indeed, but not the first time I've been in her heels!

Wasn't that for, like, a day, and didn't all hell break loose?

Does she know that you're taking over?

-You know what? I'm not sure.

-Was there anything else?

We haven't had any Tweets from God confirming you as the new Messiah.

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

Er, that's all. I better get to it.

I've already got management breathing down my neck, so...

-Can you hear that?

-What's that?

That is the sound of a man drowning in deep water.

Lovely.

THEY CHUCKLE

For you.

Me?

A little something to say thank you.

We'd have been lost without your advice.

Oh, don't be silly. Oh, my goodness, that's beautiful.

He thought of vino,

but you could clean the drains with the stuff he buys.

Don't encourage her, Connie!

She doesn't need any encouragement!

Dr Hardy! It's not often we see you in these foreign climes.

No. I was hoping to speak to Mrs Beauchamp,

but I'm needed downstairs.

She's bearing up. I can ask her to give you a call if...

Oh, no, no. No, thank you. It's fine.

About time. I've been here all morning.

-What's the latest, Doc?

-How are you feeling, Mrs Coomes?

Looking forward to getting out of here.

It may take a few days to get over the soreness, but...

I think we know each other well enough now.

So let's bypass the small talk, shall we?

Robyn, this is Niloy. Can you get him some clean clothes, please?

Yeah, sure.

-Do you want to come with me, sweetheart?

-I want to stay with her!

Straight through to Resus, yeah?

-Dr Keogh, could you do the honours, please?

-Yeah.

-Give a man a little power...

-I heard that.

-You were meant to hear it.

-Robyn, could you look after the boy?

-OK.

All right, darling. Come here, this way.

This is Nina Rai. She's 28 years old.

Approximately an hour ago, she sustained a penetrating stab...

I'm going to let you into a little secret.

Dr Keogh? One of the best doctors around, OK? Come on.

But you said this special chemotherapy thing was working.

It was, initially.

But these recent scans confirm that the tumours have

spread into the lymph nodes. I'm sorry.

But she could start on immunotherapy?

Immunotherapy's very costly,

and you've already spent a considerable amount on the chemo.

Don't worry about the money! We remortgaged the house for this.

If there's something out there that can nuke this damn cancer,

we'll pay!

Given your prognosis...

..the chances of success with immunotherapy are very slim.

You have to ask yourself, will it improve the quality of your life?

I think that's up to Maggie to decide, don't you?

If you want to pursue this avenue with another consultant,

-that's your decision.

-Well, you can't abandon us!

I can't participate in a course of action that I don't agree with

and bankrupt you in the process.

So it IS about the money!

If I were Russian or some Saudi, you wouldn't think twice.

-Ray! Calm down!

-That's not what I said.

Ray, not helping.

I'm so sorry that this is not better news.

We can go home now?

Let's take a look at your bloods from this morning first.

Thank you, Dr Williams.

-She's tachycardic.

-BP's 78/40.

OK, let's get two units of O neg, let's do the cross-match

if we haven't already done that, please, and then two units

type-specific and four units of the full cross-match.

-And stand by with some TXA, please.

-Abdomen is rigid and distended.

Let's get the general surgery team down here to discuss, please.

-BP's still falling.

-Let's hurry up with the bloods, please.

Quick as we can, we don't have any time to waste here.

Ta-dah!

-I'll look like an idiot.

-No, you won't.

You'll look really grown-up.

Come on, then, let's get you out of these.

There's no need to be embarrassed. We see everything in here.

When did this happen?

Do you think they'll get my dad?

Let's hope so, eh?

DOG GROWLS

Stop, or I'll release the dog.

Good work, everyone. There you go, no flies on us.

MACHINE BEEPS

-What's wrong?

-There's blood. She's crashing and she's hypotensive.

OK, it's a massive haemothorax.

OK, let's intubate, then, please. Can we have 100mg of ketamine, sux?

Er... Erm... Let's... Let's stand by with some, erm...

..some propofol and... and let's have a bolus of panc...

Yes, that's one opinion. That's all.

When he popped the question, I said to him,

"What's the point, at our age?"

He said we'd have at least ten years.

I'm so tired!

Come on.

You can fight this. I know you can.

BEEPING

Ohhh! What a pair.

If we were horses, we'd be glue by now.

Oh, stop it.

Ray?

Ray?

Ray!

-All right. OK.

-Ray!

-Are they his hypertension tablets?

-Yes.

-Yeah. Ray? Ray, can you hear me?

Right, can I get some help, please?

No! No!

No!

No, no, no, that's much too big, isn't it? Come on.

Thank you.

Right.

-Dr Keogh?

-Yeah, I'm fine, thanks.

Is this the smallest we've got, is it?

I mean, look at the size of it.

-HE GROANS

-Dylan, let me go get Ethan.

No, do not go and get Ethan. I'm fine.

No, no, no, hang on, hang on.

Yep. Pass me the short one.

All right, now, that's fine.

OK... Right.

Fine. Good. OK. Right, let's get her scanned.

Let's get her up to theatre.

I feel awful. Wow.

It'll be all right, Ray. Hang on.

Dr Hardy? Ray Coomes, 65.

15 minutes ago, was unconscious whilst asleep.

Has a history of hypertension, and he's on amlodipine.

Resus 2, please.

-What's going on here? It's chaos.

-Yeah. Shouldn't you be upstairs?

-Who's in charge?

-I am, actually.

-No, I mean clinical lead.

Yes, that's me. I'm acting clinical lead.

Made official this morning.

They, erm... They finally told you?

-You knew?

-Course I knew.

It's my job. You weren't the first choice,

but we were short of candidates.

-VOICE ECHOES:

-This one. Yeah, there you go.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I've taken that boy, Niloy, to cubicles.

-Duffy said we should call social services.

-Robyn, what the hell is that doing in here?

That? I was taking it to Angela for her birthday.

Anybody could just come in here. Can we get rid of it, please?

All right, keep your hair on.

Thank you.

Niloy, the son of the stab victim, I wondered

-if you could take a look at him.

-No, Duffy, I've got to go home.

Oh! Could you talk to him before you go?

He's worried sick about his mum and he did ask for you.

Why does he want to talk to me?

Look, I don't know what he's been through, but it's not good,

and a little compassion from us would go a long way.

OK. Pulse is still regular. It's in sinus rhythm.

Has anything else been unduly stressful recently?

You take the rough with the smooth at my age.

Yes, of course. If you can sit forward for me,

-I'll have another listen.

-This is my fault.

I knew you were stressed by all of this. I hate it. I hate it.

Oi, don't go blaming yourself.

Let's get full bloods, ECG and troponin, then, please.

Dr Hardy?

He had no pulse when I got to him.

It was 30 when we got down here, so I suspect heart block.

OK, well, it's 70 now and it's in good volume.

I really think you should be recuperating.

-OK? I'm sure I can get you regular updates.

-Please do.

Right, Ray, I'm going to leave you in the capable hands of Dr Hardy

whilst you're in the ED.

It's true what they say, isn't it, about doctors and policemen?

Well, if I didn't trust him, I wouldn't let him anywhere near you.

And you'll help Maggie find an oncologist,

one who'll do Maggie's immunotherapy?

We need your help more now than ever.

Ray! She's recovering from surgery!

Maggie, that's fine. I'll make some calls, OK?

OK. That hurts as well, does it? Yep.

And you don't know how you got these?

OK.

When will my mum wake up?

Well, she's in theatre now.

And when she does wake up, somebody will take you to see her, OK?

I just want to have a quick look at your wrist, if you don't mind.

-Thank you.

-Your aunt's coming in?

Gillian?

She's going to let me stay at hers if...

She got me these.

OK, all right. Send him up for an X-ray. We need to get a closer

look at that. You don't need to be scared.

You smell like him.

Your breath.

Same smell.

That's when I know it's going to be bad.

OK, well, erm, we're going to get you some help,

so you can trust us, all right?

And the nurse will be back in just a moment, all right?

That other nurse said you were the best.

Is that true?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Yep. This is all perfectly painless, so try not to worry.

It's this lady we need to worry about.

Sounds like Mrs Beauchamp has appreciated your company.

-Being on a ward can get very lonely.

-She's quite a woman!

We wouldn't have had the first

clue about any of this private treatment if she hadn't told us.

You're being treated on the private ward?

It's a special type of chemotherapy she told us about.

And now she's going to find somewhere that'll do

-this immunotherapy.

-Right.

And Dr Williams won't do the treatment?

Says he doesn't want to bankrupt us.

He's worried it won't be effective.

He doesn't want us messing up his success rate.

But Maggie's a fighter, aren't you?

Yes, well, I'm sure Dr Williams has your best interests at heart.

You can't put a price on life, can you?

Let me guess, I haven't got a heart.

That's what my ex-wife used to say!

No, no. It's all very good news, actually.

Ray's ECG. It can't be normal?

I mean, it's... it's just impossible.

His heart rate was below 30.

Yes.

He's been snatching sleep on the ward for the past few nights.

He's worried about his wife. All he needs is a bit of rest.

-At least it's not fatigue.

-I can only go by the evidence.

Well, what happened to trusting your instincts?

I'm his doctor! And with respect,

I'm the one who's done a full clinical assessment.

I also think you should stop advising Mrs Coomes

-about her cancer treatment.

-Excuse me?

Immunotherapy is an experimental treatment.

-That is none of your business.

-You're giving them false hope.

It's only false if it doesn't work.

You're not the best person to be the judge of that.

Do you know what? Keep up the pretence. No-one believes it.

Why have these patients breached?

Cos we're lazy, bone idle, incompetent and don't care?

Ethan, I'm feeling a bit peaky. I'm going to head home, OK?

-You're leaving?

-Yeah, I've got a temperature.

No. No, look, we're massively understaffed, Dylan.

-I need you here.

-You haven't seen Niloy, have you?

-Yeah, I was...

-We were going to take him for an X-ray,

but he seems to have gone walkabout.

Maybe he's found out that his dad's being brought in after going ten

-rounds with a police dog.

-Sorry, what's happened?

I have no idea. He must have provoked him.

The important thing is that we find Niloy.

Yeah, his bruising looked very suspicious.

I'd be surprised if there weren't historical fractures on the X-ray.

He can't go back into that domestic situation.

Of course. His caseworker's coming in.

-I need you to stay, OK?

-I can't.

Dylan, I will happily do a full set of obs

if you're feeling that unwell. Please.

We'll let you know as soon as there's room on the ward.

But in the meantime,

if there's anything else you need, please just shout.

Hey, why the sad face? You don't need to worry.

We're both going to be fine.

No more treatment, Ray.

What?

We need to enjoy the time we have left.

-We've got savings, haven't we?

-Well, of course...

The world's our oyster.

-This again!

-Please, Ray, just listen to what I'm...

You've got no right to stop fighting! Selfish talk,

-that's what it is.

-Please, Ray.

You're giving up on us? Look, I'm the one you're leaving behind.

I've been prodded, poisoned, irradiated.

You have no idea of what it's like.

I've been by your side the whole time.

-It's not the same.

-Look, if you love me, trust me.

It's the right thing.

I think that's what my dad drinks.

We've been looking everywhere for you.

My dad... He's coming here, isn't he?

You don't have to worry about that. That's fine.

You don't have to see him. You trust me.

We still haven't found him.

He's here. Panic over.

Oh! Come on.

We've all been worried about you.

Come on.

Maggie? I've been...

Is everything all right?

-I-I need to talk to Ray.

-There's some good news.

My oncologist friend in London will see you.

He has a great record in immunology.

-So that's good news.

-Is it?

I've learned to live with cancer. Now I'm being made to feel bad

for not trying hard enough!

-Oh, goodness, Maggie. You know that's not true!

-Ray!

-Connie?

-Ray? Ray?

Let's get the bed down.

Ethan, I know it's none of my business,

but we really can cope without Dr Keogh.

-No. We can't.

-Come on, Ethan, open your eyes.

Dylan came in this morning stinking of booze.

OK, so he's hungover. He wouldn't be the first.

He was so out of it last night he ended up on the ARC.

Yeah, and I don't think it's a one-off, either.

-That's a very serious accusation.

-You think I don't know that?

No, I...

OK, I'll talk to him.

-We need Resus.

-What's happened?

Abnormal rhythm. He needs a repeat ECG.

-It's not fatigue.

-OK, well, I've got this.

-No, you haven't.

Louise? Can I have the benefit of your expertise? Please?

Right, this is Rajat Rai. He's 38 years old.

Approximately 60 minutes ago, he was bitten by a police dog whilst

trying to flee the scene.

He sustained jagged lacerations to the lower aspect of his neck,

avoiding the external jugular and trachea.

OK, he's cannulated, he's had a gram of IV paracetamol

and five of morphine. He's all yours.

You can't prove nothing! Oi! You hear me?

Good news for your airway, if nothing else.

Right.

There.

Here, here.

Complete heart block.

There was nothing on the first ECG, not even first-degree A-V block.

I guess that's what you get with experience.

Right, Ray, we're going to insert a temporary pacing wire until

we can put a permanent one in.

-Is that dangerous?

-No, it's not.

We'll put some anaesthetic under your collarbone,

OK? And then we puncture a vein

and we pass a pacing lead into the right-hand side of your heart.

You'll be conscious throughout. You're in very safe hands.

Say that enough, you might even believe it yourself, Doc.

Don't worry, I'll be with you, I promise.

OK, I'm going to get that arranged straight away.

What's wrong?

I know why you've been so stressed, Ray.

I know how you paid for my chemo.

-You used the savings.

-Wait a minute.

You said we'd remortgaged the house.

I signed the papers.

They took one look at us and they turned us down.

Look, you were ill. I... I didn't want to worry you.

No!

No, you knew I'd say no. That was my last chance.

What about all those plans we made,

all those things we wanted to see?

Across America in a Winnebago, like we said.

Ah, that was just talk! We were never going to DO it.

We're not that kind of people. We struggle to walk to the shops.

I'm trying to keep YOU alive, not some pipe dream.

Grow up!

I'm not getting better, Ray.

This is it! It may have been a dream...

-..but, as it turns out, it's all I had left.

-Don't say that. Maggie!

Right, stand by for the main event.

Whoa. We've got a spurter there. All right.

Right, we need to, erm... Right, let's get a clamp.

-No, let's wait for theatre.

-Oh, no, that's not very much fun.

-Let's do it down here.

-No! Dr Keogh, you will not touch this patient.

I need another doctor here now. And get Dr Hardy for me, please.

Louise, Louise, get out of the way. Out of the way.

You're going to kill the patient.

Just hand me a clamp.

Thank you.

-What's the problem?

-I'd step back if I were you.

I think this one's about to blow.

-He's tying off the jugular vein.

-OK, Dr Keogh...

Yes, what do you want to do - slap my wrists?

I think you can do that, you are clinical lead.

Why are we not waiting for theatre?

Because I didn't want to! Yeah? Is that good enough for you?

It certainly should be!

Can we stand by with some suction, please,

and another set of clamps - the next smallest, please?

OK, hang on, hang on, hang on. All right.

When I say, please.

There we go, there we go, there we go, there we go. All right.

Relax now. See? See what I did?

Yeah? You should be watching and learning,

not telling me what's what all the time.

Can you let the nurses do that, please?

Yeah.

-I need to speak to you in my office.

-OK.

Can we get a message to Dr Gardner

to relieve Dr Keogh of his patients, please?

They're just about to start Ray's procedure.

I thought you'd be interested.

That's a little silly, under the circumstances, don't you think?

Yep.

It'll kill me.

It certainly won't help.

I'm discharging myself. No more treatment.

Oh, come on, you're a fighter, like me.

Maybe you're just a better, stronger, braver person than I am.

Just look at you, leading the march while recovering from heart surgery.

Face it, Connie, you're superhuman.

You're being ridiculous.

Maybe I am.

But I know that we were doing all right before

you filled his head up with these ideas.

-I'm trying to help you both.

-You're not! You're not.

You just want to do things the Connie way.

You want to be the doctor

while everyone is stunned into silence by your brilliance.

Well done. Ray's fallen for it.

So much so that he's driven us into debt paying for it.

Maggie, I'm so sorry.

I...

I-I didn't realise.

MAGGIE SCOFFS

Maggie, do you...?

We're, er, we're ready.

No sign of Maggie?

Right, this is so that we can regulate your heart

until we can get you to theatre. OK? It can feel a bit uncomfortable.

-Hurry up, please!

-Just give me a second.

OK.

Er, screen, please.

You OK? You're not in any pain?

It's got nothing to do with you.

It's all me.

It's all me...

-I was asked to come into Resus.

-By who?

Because it was reported...

There were some question marks over your procedure.

What do you mean by that?

Sorry, are you questioning my clinical competence?

My performance today in Resus has been impeccable.

There's been an accusation that you are under the influence of alcohol.

By who?

-Have you had a drink today?

-I don't have to answer that.

OK, were you under the influence of alcohol

-when you came into work this morning?

-Don't do this, Ethan.

If you... If you do this, I will unleash hell.

What choice do I have?

You know, when one consultant does this to another, careers ends.

And my career is not going to end.

OK? So if you continue to make this allegation...

-PHONE RINGS

-..I will sue you,

I will sue this hospital, I will sue the department,

I will sue whoever it is...

Yeah, go on. Go on, go on.

Clinical lead's office.

Right.

HE SINGS ALONG TO MUSIC THROUGH HEADPHONES

-How are you doing?

-Good.

-Would you like to come with me?

-Where are we going?

Oh, somewhere a little bit quieter. I can get you a drink, if you like.

I like Coke. But my mum doesn't let me have Coke.

OK, well, maybe we'll get you something else, then, yeah?

Just this way.

She was fine when she went upstairs.

They're sending down the notes.

OK, when they get here, I want to review them.

Yes, so do I.

-Yo! I need to talk to my boy.

-It's OK. Hold on.

You. Get in here now!

-Dr Keogh?

-Yeah?

-I've got Nina Rai's notes here.

-Oh! Right. Good.

-Dr Keogh?

Yeah.

It's fine. No, it's fine.

There's nothing to be scared of. You go with Duffy.

It's all right.

Thank you.

Niloy, I have to tell you something that's very sad

and it will probably make you feel very sad.

Your mum died.

VOICE FADES OUT

RAJAT SHOUTING IN BACKGROUND

I, er... I just wanted to make sure you were OK.

They say you'll be out soon.

And I'll be climbing Everest by next Friday...!

They like to make big promises, these doctors.

Maggie, I'm sorry. I...

No.

-Me first.

-No. I understand.

I get it. Just being in here for one day, and I get it.

I don't know if I'm brave enough to watch you...

Die, Ray.

I'm dying.

You can say it.

And I know, I am selfish.

And maybe I am clinging to a selfish dream.

But if I can't dream now, with months left,

then when can I?

I'll get us some money back so we can do something.

Whatever you want.

Don't worry. If that's what you want...

No, it's not the money.

There's just so much

I want to do.

-I'm scared, Maggie. That's all.

-Oh, Ray.

Then...

Then let's be scared together.

Yes?

-Dylan!

-Yeah, it's OK, they let me in.

-Dr Hardy's looking for you.

-Is he? OK, I'll be down in five minutes.

She has an abnormal heart valve.

We couldn't possibly have known that. That's not my fault.

You were lucky.

This time.

What's happened to you?

I tell you what.

Here.

Here, you take some of my blood.

-What?

-That's what he wants, isn't it?

Give him the proof that he needs. Go on, it's fine,

you don't need gloves. There you go.

I started to remember what happened last night.

Wouldn't have thought the landlord would have been

so proprietorial about this TV remote.

Dylan, I have tried to help.

Yeah, I know. It's not your job, is it? I'm a grown adult.

I can take responsibility for myself.

Yeah, that's enough, that's enough, that's enough.

Where's the boy? Where's Niloy?

Downstairs, waiting for someone to pick him up.

What is it?

OK, give that to me.

It's fine, I'll give it to Ethan.

That's fine.

Ray?

I heard the procedure went well.

Dr Hardy was on the money.

I was wondering if you'd allow me

to buy the origami figures that I like so much.

Oh, please, have them.

No, I insist. They're too good.

Well, whatever you think they're worth. Pay me for my time.

We-We can't take this.

Yes, you can. I've nothing else to spend it on, so...

That's what friends are for.

All right, take care.

Thank you.

You've been such a good friend.

You have.

Bye.

Thanks.

Take the headphones off for me.

Your dad's out of theatre. He's going to be OK.

Thanks.

You know he's in a lot of trouble.

I think he's going to go to prison for a long time.

Because of what he did to Mum?

Move! Move!

You're spending the weekend with me, not that cow, all right?

-Look, please, Niloy, come on, you've got to...

-No!

Nils!

He's pathetic, that boy. Just like you are.

-Look at you!

-Stop, please!

-DR KEOGH:

-Because of what she said he did, what you both said he did.

But the thing is, I had a look at her wound,

and something about the height of it,

the angle of it, raised a few questions in my mind.

Please, Raj, please, just stop it. Please, no.

Get off me! Get away from me.

DOOR CLOSES

-NILOY:

-He takes it out on her.

She takes it out on me. That's how it works.

That's how it's always worked.

SHE GASPS

She said their lives were perfect before I turned up.

ON PHONE: There's a five-minute wait at the moment.

Are you OK to hold? Are you OK to hold?

In my experience, if you don't face up to these things,

they often get worse.

Are you OK to hold?

Are you OK to hold?

-NINA:

-I can't hold.

Nothing gets worse than them.

MUSIC PLAYS THROUGH HEADPHONES

Ray's doing really well.

They're going to fit a permanent pacemaker tomorrow.

OK, thanks for letting me know.

HE SIGHS This day has been...a total blur.

And it's not even over yet.

I'm sorry about the confusion over the heart block.

You look exhausted.

It gets easier, don't worry.

Hope so.

I'm sorry, too.

-You don't need to...

-I have an apology on offer.

Please, it doesn't happen often, so take it while it stands.

I hope that we can put what happened in London behind us.

I was in a bad place.

I-I think I could have handled it better.

Complicated situations are not really my forte...

..as I'm being made painfully aware today.

I always found that the most difficult thing

wasn't making the decisions.

It was knowing that others would

live with the consequence of those decisions,

and once you get your head round that, you'll be fine.

It's a sample of my blood.

It was taken by Louise no more than 20 minutes ago. Not under duress.

I've let you down today. I've let everybody down.

I think when you look at the notes, I think you'll find

I haven't made any clinical mistakes. But I've been under

a little bit of stress

and I think I could do with taking a few weeks off.

But if you want to take it further,

that will give you all the evidence that you need.

-I don't think I have a choice.

-You do have a choice.

Yes.

I do need you to take some time off.

And then we can discuss it further.

That's...

Thank you.

Auntie!

I was just really struggling to cope with the workload.

I'd be staying two, three, four hours after work every day

just to try and cope.

I-I'm in the wrong place. Sorry.