Episode 1 Dancing on the Edge

This programme contains some strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature

Louis?!

Hello, Stanley.

What on earth are you doing here?

I needed somewhere to come to. Naturally, I thought of you.

You might have given me a little warning.

You've cut your hand.

You noticed. I had a little trouble getting here.

-Anybody follow you?

-I don't think so.

I need you to get me out of the country, Stanley.

You can trust Rosie.

I know. That's a fine bandage.

I just cut up a pillow case... It's all I could find in the bedroom.

Still sleeping at work, I see.

Sometimes, course.

That'll do for now, but you ought to see a doctor.

Thank you, and yes, I will see a doctor,

as soon as I've got out of the country.

Stay there a moment, Louis, I just want to make sure of something.

PHONE CHIMES

STANLEY: 'Yes, I will. No, I'll be in till then.

'No, it's better if I do it.

'I will.'

I've only got one clean glass, so...

..I'll have the bottle.

We need a plan, don't we, Louis?

We do, yes.

We can't have you being caught.

-That's not going to happen.

-I hope not.

You got any idea what we should do?

Not yet, no.

Well, we're pretty sure nobody knows you're here,

and we want to keep it that way, don't we?

So we should play the loudest record we've got, shouldn't we?!

Help us think, stop us being heard.

It has to be one of yours, doesn't it?

This seems appropriate.

JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS

Hmm, good choice.

You have to go, Stanley.

Any minute, any minute now, just got to finish this first.

Mick! Up here, Mick!

You'll never do it, unless you go now.

-She's finished with those pages.

-Almost finished with those pages.

-And you can take these, too.

-Ah! No, he can't!

I have to re-type everything,

Stanley, because you go at such a rate.

She thinks I make mistakes, Mick! I never make mistakes.

You have to go!

You've got to get to the Olympia, the Cafe Royal and the Apollo,

and there's that little club in Lyle Lane you want to fit in too.

The only important one.

You have to run, Stanley!

JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS

MUSIC STOPS, APPLAUSE

Good evening, hope you had a nice time.

Lovely to see you again. Hope you enjoyed yourself.

Good evening, gentlemen.

'Night.

Good night, ladies, very nice to see you again.

Good night, gentlemen. Terrific, aren't they?

Oh, that's a tremendous sound, Deirdre, they were sensational.

Don't you dare, Stanley - you've just arrived! You missed them!

I missed them?! They've finished? What? That's impossible!

-I heard enough to be interested.

-You liar! Where are you going?

Well, I'm going to go and see them, aren't I?

They'll know you missed it!

But you think they're terrific, don't you?

I think they are very exciting, yes. And unusual too.

That's good enough for me then.

Gentlemen!

Gentlemen!

Forgive the intrusion, gentlemen, I couldn't stop myself.

I just had to tell you that was terrific, absolutely terrific.

And you are?

Stanley Mitchell, of Music Express.

Yes, that was a very exciting evening, tremendous.

And unusual.

We didn't see you in there - where were you sitting?

Oh, well, I have a habit of slipping into places unnoticed.

So you're a critic, then?

I write profiles, features and reviews.

So, what were we playing when you, when you slipped in?

Oh, it was a lovely little number...

No, I didn't catch its name.

I'm looking for a band to play the Imperial Hotel next Friday night.

I wouldn't be about to recommend you for that job

if I hadn't heard you, would I?

No, we're out of town next Friday night, on tour.

On tour? Really? Where are you going?

We are on tour.

And even if it were possible to change that, the Imperial?

That old place! Oh, they want a coloured band, huh?

LAUGHTER

Who do I give this to?

You give it to me.

Right.

Remember, I know what you are getting to play here

and I know what they pay at the Imperial.

And you give it to him.

Oh.

Louis leads the band and writes the music.

I deal with everything else that comes up -

and I mean everything else.

And you'll get a free meal as well!

We'll let you know.

Oh, and you'll need full evening dress of course.

I can arrange a very good rate if you'd like me to.

Hold it there!

We're the Louis Lester Band.

We're looking for our dressing rooms.

The Louis Lester Band?

Yes, I was warned you were coming. Musicians booked for one night

only normally wait in that room up there next to the telephone.

By all means, help yourselves, gentlemen,

the soup should still be reasonably warm.

THEY TUNE THEIR INSTRUMENTS

HE WHISTLES

Can you hear that?

That is the hot sound of the Jack Paynton Orchestra,

the most over-booked band ever.

You'll be going on after the dullest music in London - shouldn't be

too difficult to wake them up!

I've got a bad feeling about tonight.

Ah, absolutely not!

Here, look at this.

You're in here already! One of my top tips of the week.

Near the bottom of the page.

Right, this is where I leave you, best of luck.

They've never had a coloured band here before, have they?

Oh, it's better than that...

I don't think they've ever heard jazz music before!

THEY PLAY JAZZ

Goodness knows why Mr Schlesinger let you do this, Stanley.

He let me do it because of them. Look at them, Harry,

look at your clientele!

Something's got to change.

Good evening, Mr Donaldson.

-Hello, Stanley.

-Mr Luscombe.

Hello.

Miss Sarah, Pamela. Thank you one and all for coming.

I read your column, Stanley, and you see, here I am.

It's tremendous somebody believes what I write!

I shall be very interested to hear your opinion, Mr Donaldson.

I hope I shall have an opinion, Stanley.

SONG FINISHES

THEY CONTINUE TO PLAY

Mr Mitchell.

Pleasure.

Hello, I'm Julian! Everybody decent?

Can we come in?

Course.

This is Pamela, my sister, and her friend, Sarah.

And this is Mr Donaldson, he's a connoisseur of your kind of music.

A great authority, in fact!

That was terrific music to dance to, thank you!

Well, thank you for dancing. I thought nobody was going to.

Don't be silly, it was the least we could do, gentlemen.

It was divine.

Well, I think it was probably the most disastrous booking

we've ever had.

No, gentlemen. The audience maybe were a little surprised.

They couldn't believe their eyes!

But I thought you were excellent. No, I did.

Sometimes my friend Stanley here exaggerates,

but in your case I don't think he is.

TRUMPET BLASTS

TITTERS

I do as it happens have one piece of advice.

Get yourself a singer.

A singer?

Yes, I think it might make all the difference to your chances.

Just a thought, gentlemen, merely a notion -

I don't want to interfere, naturally.

I will of course spread the word.

Talking of which, d'you want to come and watch me write my review?

Do you let a lot of bands watch you write your reviews?

Absolutely not.

-I wouldn't let most musicians come anywhere near this office.

-So why us?

Cos you're different.

Cos you're not Jack Paynton, for one thing!

And because I've been given the job of making the Imperial

a little more fashionable, which is the sort of challenge I like.

So my reasons are purely selfish, naturally.

So how many people read your magazine? Cos I never have.

More than you might think, and we're growing.

If you're asking me, "Does it matter what I write?"

I think it probably does!

Ah, forgive me, I have to finish this as well,

I always do two things at once.

Come and have a look and see what you think so far.

"The atmosphere was simply electric as the Louis Lester Band took

"to the stage in the old ballroom at the Imperial Hotel."

"Electric"? They hated us! That wasn't electric!

It was for me. And that's what matters.

"One of our first ever home-grown coloured bands shook the room

"with their intensity, and showed that this kind of music could

"appeal to a much larger audience than it presently enjoys."

You are home grown. That's right, isn't it?

-Yes, in a way, I was born here.

-Yes, and so was I.

But he's lost his birth certificate!

Somewhere it's gone missing. I've got to find it some day!

I was born in Cardiff, but my father,

he took us to Chicago when I was four years old.

Ah, you're from the Midwest, Wesley?

Yes - until I had to leave in a hurry!

We met in a club in Harlem.

I was there for five days without a break, watching every act.

We didn't leave the club.

I was on shore leave, I was working in the Merchant Navy on a liner,

the Aurora. I told Wesley to come to England and see

if we could make something happen in the clubs in London.

Most of the band have worked on the ships one time - sailors, or cooks.

Or stowaways!

All of us have to report every week to the Alien Registration Office -

except Louis, of course, cos he's got the right documents.

Hang on, you have to do that every week?

Every week, yes.

To get a work permit, they only give them to you week by week.

Of course, if we had a regular booking at the Imperial,

that might help.

Well, I'd better finish my review, hadn't I?

What is this?

Oh, I need to finish the speech bubbles for our strip cartoon,

Farquhar and Tonk.

Albert draws it, and he can't finish it until I've done the bubbles.

It's one of the most important things we've got.

Farquhar's an inquisitive aristocrat, and Tonk is his valet who

happens to come from outer space, and together they have adventures.

Now, we need a big finish here for the review.

What I really should say is...

..get yourself a singer, Louis.

WOMAN SINGING

# ..That's what the old folk say

# All around is down and dreary

# Everywhere I go

# Still looking for the old plantation

# That's what the old folk say! #

Thank you.

I know, I know, we're not having any of this terrible West End singing.

# When the sun refuse to shine

# When the sun refuse to shine

# I would like to be in that number... #

# Just a closer walk with thee

# Grant me, Jesus... #

She looked like she should be able to sing.

Until she opened her mouth. Thank you.

You've got to go.

Everybody, it's time to go.

It's the day they have to report.

Oh, there's plenty of time.

She's, she's waiting for her friend to arrive,

she won't sing till then.

Go, Wesley, go!

You've got to get to Woburn Square, it's nearly four o'clock!

I think the old man was best.

We probably should go for the oldest singer we can find!

Run, Wesley!

They like to cut it as fine as they can.

I can sing now.

# In sunny Roseland

# Where summer breezes are playing

# Where the honey bees are a-Maying

# There, all the roses are swaying

# Somewhere in Roseland

# Beside a beautiful rose. #

She's got the better voice, I know.

It's both of us or nothing.

Both of you?

I don't think that will be a problem.

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking about...

PHONE RINGS, WOMAN GIGGLES

There's nobody here to answer that, Stanley.

PHONE CONTINUES TO RING

Somebody really wants you, Stanley, and they're not going to give up.

Music Express.

Oh, you ARE still at work, Stanley.

Mr Donaldson! Yes, yes, I'm still at work.

One of those nights you sleep there, is it?

-That seems to be the case, yes.

-'I need your help, Stanley.'

But of course.

I'm having a lunch party in five days' time.

'Am I invited?'

You could be. It depends if you can help me.

I have a very important -

and I mean extremely important - guest coming who loves jazz music.

-Who is it?

-'I can't tell you that.'

I had booked Leslie Thompson but now he's ill, and they've had to cancel.

'I don't quite know what to do, Stanley.'

Well, this is perfect timing, Mr Donaldson -

the band you saw the other day at the Imperial,

they've taken your advice,

they've hired a fabulous singer - two, in fact.

-Are they your top recommendation, Stanley?

-Yes.

It would be extraordinarily embarrassing if it went wrong.

They won't disappoint you, Mr Donaldson.

-You're certain, Stanley?

-Am I certain? Absolutely.

CLATTERING AND SHOUTING

It's five in the morning.

What the hell d'you want to do this for at five in the morning?

And you, stand over there, stand over there.

SHOUTING

You didn't report, did you? You didn't report!

It was shut!

-Huh?

-They were shut early! I swear to you.

I told you not to leave it to the last minute.

I see you're dressed and ready to go. Come on, then!

-I am a British citizen.

-Ha, since when?

Since I was born here.

This is not looking good.

Are you gentlemen the musicians?

That's us.

Do you have a spokesman?

That'll be me.

Could you please follow me?

I don't require that, Mr Lester.

I know you have an English birth certificate.

Under the terms of the work permits granted to

the performers in your band, they have to report every week.

This week, that did not happen.

It's the first time they've ever missed a week.

If we allow that to be an excuse, the system would quickly fall apart,

would it not? If people could choose the week they wanted to report.

What do they need to do?

Normally we require proof in writing that they have

employment as musicians for the following week before we can

issue a permit, but because there has been this transgression

of the rules, I now require written proof of three weeks' employment.

Proof of three weeks' employment?

If I don't receive that by the end of this working day, your colleagues

will be detained in custody pending possible deportation.

If you don't think you can produce that, Mr Lester,

it would save us all time if you told me now.

I will be able to produce that.

Today, we close at 5.15.

It's getting late, Louis.

Don't worry.

Don't worry?!

Nobody's safe - I better find my damn birth certificate!

-Yes, you had.

-Because I do not want to go back to the US.

No, sir, that could not happen.

Shall I tell her the truth?

Wesley...

Missy... Had a little trouble in Chicago, lies were told.

Don't be stupid, Wesley - stop this.

You don't think she'd want to hear that

I was accused of sleeping with a white woman?

And that the white woman's husband said that I raped his wife

and that carries the death penalty in Chicago?

Because I think she might be very interested.

Missy, I was born here,

so that makes me English - Welsh, in fact!

So, gentlemen, I have here a four-week booking, in writing,

from the Imperial, for their inspection.

Four weeks?

Told you I'd fix it.

Why was it that easy?

Who said it was easy?

It certainly was not, you don't know Mr Schlesinger!

Thank you.

THEY SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER

Yes!

There's a nice little extra -

Mr Donaldson's having a garden party, with a special guest

of honour, whose identity is being kept secret even from me.

A secret guest? Who is it?

Clark Gable?

What a garden! Does it belong to just one house?

There you are! Exactly on time. Good.

Of course.

Enjoy yourselves out here, start playing in about 45 minutes.

Is the mystery guest of honour here yet?

When you start playing, if he likes you, you may get to see him.

# When I dream of you

# Dream the whole night through

# I awake and softly whisper

# I'm quite in love with you

# When I dream of you

# Dream the whole night through

# When I dream of you-u-u-u. #

# Truckin' along and I'm happy to see you

# Ain't right or wrong if I do or I don't

# I'm holding on for a dance at the Voodoo

# Crazy in the mood for love

# Never say you won't be leaving

# You can buy me time and teasing

# You can show me ways of pleasing

# Crazy in the mood for love

# Crazy in love and I'm looking to make it

# This is a chance and I'm going to take it

# Diamonds are hot but who cares if you fake it?

# Crazy in the mood for love

# Never say you won't be leaving

# You can buy me time and teasing

# I can show you ways of pleasing

# Crazy in the mood for love

# Crazy in love, crazy in love

# Crazy in the mood for love! #

He wants to meet you.

Who's he?

Prince George! Fourth son of the King.

-The son of the King!

-What do we call him?

Your Royal Highness.

And you don't speak until you're spoken to.

Come here, come here, please.

You must tell us all about yourselves.

Where on earth did you learn to sing like that?

Well, Jessie's always been able to sing,

ever since she was tiny at school.

Yes, since school.

Since you were tiny at school, is that right?

Eat like royalty.

Your band are clearly absolutely starving.

I like the look of your Mr Lester. It's quite surprising, really.

He seems an educated man, doesn't he? The way he conducts himself.

Unlike me, you mean?! Yes, he's a... He's quite a character.

I couldn't take your picture out in the garden, could I?

And any other member of the band who would like to...?

Now the sun's come out, I'd like to do some portrait shots.

Of course. But I... I couldn't stop them eating right now.

I'll come.

It's not just the Prince that's here today, you know.

Some people say he's one of the richest men in the world.

From the US, managed not to lose everything in the crash -

in fact, he even made money while it was happening.

I'm working for him at the moment - just helping out,

but he says he might have something bigger for me.

I must try to talk to him.

Go on, sing something for me now, a little song, just,

just right here.

You want her to sing now, your Royal Highness?

-Sing what?

-Anything, anything you like. Sit here.

# Lord, lead me on

# Lord, lead me on

# Lead me across the river

# Lead me on... #

So, Stanley, you really do have an eye for talent.

Of course I do, don't you read the magazine?

I read Music Express every week, as it happens.

You do? Didn't know you were so keen on music.

I'm interested in all sorts of things, Stanley,

not just clothes and men.

I read your magazine from cover to cover.

And it all seems to be written by you.

Most of it. Yes.

Even the diary of the chorus girl in the West End show!

Well, that was sort of a collaboration.

Don't you have an editor who orders you around?

I do have an editor, yes, Mr Wax, but he seems to like what I do.

You know, you always surprise me, Stanley.

Well, that's good.

-That is good, isn't it?

-Yes. I like daring people.

# ..The path ahead... #

What a pity you can't write about this.

The Royal Prince and a jazz band, what a story that would make!

But even you can't do that.

Stanley told me about your trouble with the immigration authorities.

Yes, well, the rules are very strict, especially

if you've worked on the ships.

Some of them even get followed sometimes,

people checking to see if they really are employed as musicians.

Followed, in the street? Really?

Not many people realise that goes on, but it's quite a regime,

the Alien Registration Office.

Well, my father's Russian and he gets some strange looks sometimes,

people thinking he might be a Soviet spy!

So maybe I understand more than you think.

Maybe I see a bit more of the world than Pamela.

She's my friend, but I work for her, really.

I choose her clothes, I design some of them, which means I actually

have to go into shops, warehouses, even, looking for materials.

I'm sure you've guessed, but I'm no aristocrat, Louis.

I'm not sure I had guessed that, no.

Thank you, Joe. You're next, Louis.

The band must play again. Prince George has requested it!

-I love your music.

-Thank you.

I hope you don't mind me saying that. I love your band!

I'm, I'm hopeless!

Is it hopeless? I, I really think it is hopeless, isn't it?!

Of course not, your Royal Highness!

# Feel the heat of the city beat

# Feel the thing of the swing

# Tapping our feet where the night hawks meet

# I can't help it It's got a grip on me

# Rent is due and cash is tight... #

A little more full tonight. Not bad at all.

It's been building all week.

I knew I was right to tell them to get a singer.

# Hear the blare of the thoroughfare... #

THEY CHATTER EXCITEDLY

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

Come and look at this.

SQUEALING

Lamb chops!

Meat for the first time!

We must be doing something right then!

They never gave us this wine before. Maybe this

Mr Schlesinger, or whatever he's called, is beginning to like us.

Louis, sorry to butt in like this. Could you come with me for a moment?

I need your help.

No, no, no, it's very kind, but I just need Louis.

Thank God you were still here!

Mr Masterson has asked me to do something.

This is Mr Masterson's suite, he gave me the key,

I have it somewhere. Yes. He's left the hotel.

Now, Louis, if you feel you are unable to help,

you must say so at once, and of course I'll understand...

but if you do feel able to help, I'll be so terribly grateful.

What happened here?

I don't know... He said it would be like this.

I don't know what he's been doing.

WOMAN SIGHS

WOMAN MOANS

What a mess.

Hello.

Mr Masterson asked if I'd clear this up.

I didn't know it would be this bad, I mean, not quite as bad as this!

I know I shouldn't involve you, Louis,

but I can't do this on my own.

Please leave if you need to.

Mr Masterson will pay for the damage to the room, of course.

What do we need to do?

We need to get the girl out of the hotel.

If we use the kitchen entrance, if I get a taxi, and you take the girl?

-What's your name?

-Hannah.

-Are we there yet?

-Shh.

MAN: You! I'm talking to you.

Don't you run away from me. Come back here!

How dare you!

-..Get out of here.

-Shhh.

..The best thing you can do is own up to it.

Do you understand me? Do you understand?

-Get out of my sight.

-Are we there yet?

-Shh.

-SHE MOANS

-Shhh!

Still here, Mr Lester?

Yes... I'm leaving now.

I've been going through the music for tomorrow.

I see.

Well, I'll be writing a report for Mr Schlesinger, I think

he might be rather pleased with tonight.

Do we ever get to meet Mr Schlesinger?

That all depends, Mr Lester, that all depends. Good night.

Night.

Look, I think my car is coming.

There you are. Marvellous.

Thank you, Louis. Mr Masterson will be pleased.

I'm incredibly grateful! You're wonderful, my friend.

"I... say... Tonk...

PHONE RINGS

"What... a... party."

PHONE CONTINUES TO RING

Music Express? What can I do for you?

Stanley, it's Louis,

something strange just happened with Julian and Mr Masterson.

'There was a girl in Mr Masterson's suite at the hotel.'

She was in a bad way, the room was all smashed up too.

So they'd been having quite a party.

I helped Julian get her out of the hotel.

Where was Mr Masterson when you were doing this?

I don't know. I didn't see him. He asked Julian to clear up for him.

People like that always CAN vanish when they want to, can't they?!

Stanley... I don't know if I should've helped.

-'I mean, the girl, she was...'

-You worried about her?

'Yes, I am.'

Well, if you're worried about her, Louis, we'll have to find her.

Mr Julian knows you're here, he'll be with you in a moment.

One day, Louis, you'll have a house like this!

Of course! As a matter of interest, how do you see that happening?

Well, it won't be long before your records are available in every

store in the land.

That'll be good, considering we haven't made a single one yet.

I'll be just walking down the street

and your music will be coming out of every other window.

And when I turn up to see you, when you've got a house like this...

-You'll be shown straight to the tradesman's entrance!

-Naturally, yes!

Stanley! Louis!

It's wonderful to see you.

There you are! What a lovely way to start the day.

Start? It's nearly two o'clock, Pamela!

Oh, it's as early as that, is it? I thought it was later!

It's wicked, I know, but I've only just got up.

What a strange evening last night was.

Louis was absolutely wonderful, has he told you?

He has. We were just wondering what happened to the girl.

She's here.

With her gigantic bruises.

I was so clumsy last night, and so utterly drunk,

I just kept falling over.

Goodness knows what people must think!

I'm enormously grateful to you, and so is Mr Masterson.

Oh, yes, Mr Masterson's having a picnic, you really must join us.

Yes, he'd love you to join him - in fact the whole band,

if they're available - to be his guests.

It's his way of saying a huge thank you.

The whole band? Really? They're all invited?

Well, whoever wants to come... They might enjoy it.

He plans them very carefully.

I shan't be there myself, sadly. My parents are coming to town.

Oh, you must come, please say you will.

It'll make his picnic so much more jolly!

And you'll come, Stanley, won't you?

Ah, I'm invited too, am I?

Of course. I'm inviting you.

Mr Masterson tends to picnic on a grand scale.

It's not something you would forgive yourself for missing.

On a grand scale? Does that mean a lot of Rolls-Royces

setting off for a mystery destination that only he knows?

You're nearly right.

There's going to be some interesting transport,

but it's not a line of Rolls-Royces.

This is amazing.

Our own private train!

I didn't think I'd have a compartment to myself!

We really are his guests.

Don't have to sing for our supper.

Not unless we want to.

Well, you don't, Stanley!

What's your compartment like?

Oh, you know, velvet cushions, bowl of chocolates.

A bowl of chocolates? Not sure I've got that.

Come in, gentlemen. Soup is being served.

And we're all absolutely starving!

-Is anybody sitting here?

-No, by all means.

Sit down! We're going to be waited on!

Nobody knows where we're going?

Nobody, no.

Do you really think that can be true?

Yes, he likes his mystery picnics.

Is it easy, Mr Masterson, to hire a private train?

Quite, once you know who to ask.

But you have to tell someone the exact route you are going to take?

You must have to do that, surely?

What makes you think that?

# My man's gone away

# Left me feeling blue

# No good trying to chase him

# Cos he's run straight back to you... #

I think what you've done, Mr Lester, is truly extraordinary.

What I've done? What is that, Mr Donaldson?

How you've made this band from nothing.

How he's made it?

I'm very intrigued by how you've managed to meld it all

together in a very sophisticated way, if you don't mind me saying so.

You've taken the best of what you've heard from America,

and made it your own. How did you learn to do that?

I'm sorry, that sounded much too patronising.

I think it was my experience on the ocean liners that helped me so much.

And when you were playing on those liners and people were

dancing in front of you, did they ever say things to you?

-Say things?

-When you were on a big ship together,

-with all those people...

-Rich people!

Yes, you must have bumped into them when you weren't playing,

like when you were coming off stage.

Did you have to put up with them being rather horrible?

You must have had to deal with a lot of prejudiced people.

Of course, yes.

And you never know where it's going to come from either.

Sometimes it's the people you don't expect.

I remember bumping into a table when I was coming off the stage

at one of the crossings, and the couple nearest to me -

and the lady, she was covered in jewels, but she was very young and

charming looking - and both of them, this couple, started wiping their

cutlery with their napkins, even though I wasn't anywhere

near them. They changed them a few minutes later too - just to be sure!

Oh, that's very revealing, wiping their cutlery.

You should do that to them next time!

When certain people walk really close to your table,

you should start cleaning your fork, see how they react to that!

There is so much ignorance, isn't there?

And you're right, Mr Lester, sometimes it's those who seem

to be the most educated, turn out to be quite the most ignorant,

the most prejudiced.

But then, we don't know what's going to happen next, do we?

Maybe things ARE about to change.

Despite all the hardship there is, I feel - and I hope I'm not being

too optimistic, Mr Lester but I do feel that anything is possible now.

WOMEN SINGING IN NEARBY COMPARTMENT

Oh. I'm sorry, I've got the wrong compartment, Mr Masterson.

Do forgive me.

Gold....

Gold is the safest thing at the moment.

I like to have some with me at all times,

so I know if something happens I will still have a roof over my head.

KNOCK ON DOOR

There you are.

You're not writing about this before it's even happened, are you?

Before what's even happened?

I love trains, don't you?

Absolutely.

Please, go on working.

I like to see that.

I so rarely watch anybody work.

I'm not putting you off, am I?

You most certainly are.

Well, try not to be.

I'm sure you overcome most distractions, Stanley.

Usually that's true.

You don't think I can be serious, do you, Stanley?

About anything.

Go on, lie. Why not?

Of course you can.

Thank you.

Is this some of that strange cartoon you have in your magazine?

Mm-hm.

Farquhar and Tonk?

I rather like that. They went on an ocean liner last week,

didn't they, and met a jazz band?

So, Mr Lester's having an effect on your strip cartoon, Stanley.

I grab material from wherever I can, I'm afraid. Always have done.

So we might find ourselves in it soon?

I might be there.

You might.

You could send your Farquhar and Tonk anywhere you like in the world.

Just like that.

To the moon, even.

And we could all follow them there.

I could do that.

If I wanted.

And what's stopping you?

Might be fun.

PIANO NOTES TINKLE

-You don't have to play now, you know.

-You want me to stop?

No, of course not. You were invited as a guest, weren't you?

You don't need to play for your supper.

Are you saying they didn't expect any music?

-Well, maybe a little, yes.

-HE CHUCKLES

Of course they did.

And more than a little.

HE HUMS TUNE

LOUIS LAUGHS

CARRIAGE RATTLES

The train's moving.

You have to stop just because the train's moving?

It's lucky, isn't it?

Now we don't need to worry about all the noise we're going to make.

Yes.

Yes.

It's just that I have no idea where we're going.

What does it matter?

I think it's marvellous not knowing.

REVEILLE SOUNDS

Are we in the middle of nowhere, Stanley?

TRUMPET PLAYING CONTINUES

Looks like it, yes.

Splendid. I can't imagine a better place to be.

You must excuse my idea of how to picnic,

but I've invented my own version since I do feel the cold

whenever I'm outside.

So I always picnic indoors. Always.

But I make sure the view is constantly changing,

that's why picnicking on a train is such a good idea.

Mr Masterson would like you all to know,

in case you're wondering where we're going - there is no destination.

-No destination? >

-No.

We'll have lunches in the woods and candle-lit dinners by the sea.

But we'll be on the train the whole time.

And maybe we never get back to town.

Yes, let's all live on the train!

I'm going to risk getting frozen and go outside, if that's not forbidden.

Yes, yes, that's allowed.

I'd really like to do that portrait we never had time to do,

if you could spare a moment?

Here?

Is this all right?

It's good, yes.

I know you think there's something wrong with all of this,

with Mr Masterson's hospitality.

Did I say anything?

You didn't have to.

But maybe he really means it.

It's not just a rich man's whim.

Then he won't move on to something else next week?

No, I don't think so.

He really loves your music.

Really?

He does?

He looks a funny old bird, I know,

but he goes to nearly every party. Never goes to bed.

He likes to watch the young people.

Not just watching.

Pamela told me about Hannah.

I wouldn't want to be alone with him, certainly.

She adores him, apparently.

People's private lives...

One never really knows what goes on, does one?

I know this is my second plate but I may never have a breakfast

like this again in my whole life, so I'm going to keep eating.

Yes, we could all be in the gutter tomorrow.

Please don't say that. Of course you won't.

But that could happen quite easily, couldn't it, Mr Donaldson?

I'm sure that won't happen, no, Mr Holt,

-not after you've made such a start.

-I'm glad you think that,

but there is a way to make very sure that it doesn't happen, isn't there?

What's that, then?

By having a proper contract

and not a week-by-week arrangement.

I'm sure in time that will happen.

These things tend to evolve naturally.

They evolve naturally, do they? Well, um...

..I agree.

And since we only have two weeks left of our booking at the Imperial,

I think it would be natural,

very natural in fact, to ask Mr Schlesinger for a six-month

contract so we become the regular band at the Imperial.

Six months? Nobody gets six months.

Jack Paynton doesn't get six months, Wally Dix doesn't get six months!

We get a six-month contract or we're going to offer our services to the Savoy.

Mr Masterson!

Just wondered how you were doing.

Come out here and have your picture taken.

In fact, can everyone come out and I'll take their picture?

Tell everyone to come out.

Come on, everybody, to the front of the train. Hurry up.

The light's great out here.

Just all gather round!

I wonder what he's been up to during breakfast.

I ought to remember it's not wise to leave Wesley on his own.

OK.

THEY LAUGH

A three-month contract is my final offer.

Six.

Six months is out of the question.

Three months or I find another band to take your place.

Six months.

I won't do business like this, young man.

Come here to meet you, as you asked, something I've rarely done

for any other band, and three months is my final offer.

And, Mr Holt, it is in fact a very good offer.

My advice would be to consider it very carefully.

Six months or we go to the Savoy, Mr Schlesinger.

Well, the Savoy won't take you. I'll tell you that now.

You won't find things nearly as easy out there as you think.

Four months.

-Louis!

-No.

Four months or we will go elsewhere.

Four months?

I may be able just to consider four months.

And our accommodation, of course.

What about your accommodation?

I think, Wesley, that can be negotiated separately.

We're going to need new accommodation

-and that goes without saying.

-And where might that be?

At the Imperial, of course.

Come on, it's this way!

That's right, keep going.

Come on, all the way up!

So, these are the rooms usually given over to performers.

Accommodation can only be provided for four weeks.

We shall be reviewing the situation after that.

I will call out your room numbers and hand you your keys, but first

I would like you to pay particular attention to the rules of the hotel.

You may under no circumstances use the main entrance

or the main lobby at any time, nor may you go into any of the lounges,

dining rooms or bars, unless of course you are performing there.

And you may not entertain guests of any kind -

I repeat, of any kind - in your rooms.

Is that understood?

-Oh...

-THEY GIGGLE

Our own room in a hotel!

Well, I never thought that would happen.

And just think of the meals. Hot meals every day!

Yes! I've been hungry ever since I can remember, I really think I have.

But not any more. All being well, that is.

Tonight I think we should look fabulous, really fabulous.

Yes. To make sure they don't change their mind!

(Suit them, they must be hosting.)

CHATTERING

CHATTER STOPS

Hm!

JAZZ MUSIC BEGINS

She's incredible, isn't she?

I can't take my eyes off her.

We had noticed, Julian.

Sarah helped them choose their new clothes, you know.

Mr Donaldson paid for them. She looks good, doesn't she?

# Remember all those bad times

# You told me that you'd never leave her... #

Do you think she'll ever like me?

# Sending me those love lines you were happy to deceive her... #

I need to find something to really impress her.

# Now you're here to stay

# I promise we'll have good times

# You'll whisper that you'll never leave me

# Send me all those love lines... #

You're always late, Stanley.

I still have a magazine to write, remember?

# Now you're here to stay always. #

This is terrific. Look at their faces!

Yes.

The dear old hotel doesn't know what's hit it.

That's so true!

Stanley, you know the Freemasons have temples in this hotel?

They don't?!

Oh, yes, in the basement. I wonder what they'd think of this.

Talking of strangely dressed people, my mum wants to meet Louis.

Really, Stanley? That's very charming. How come?

Because she likes the sound of him.

# Send me all those love lines

# Now you're here to stay

# Now you're here to stay always

# Now you're here to stay always... #

Hello, Mum.

-Hello.

-This is Louis.

Hello.

Come in.

The food is to your liking, is it?

Not going to disagree with your digestion?

It's all right, Mum. Louis eats everything.

It's delicious, Mrs Mitchell.

Oh, I quite forgot the lemonade!

No, no, you stay there. I must get the lemonade, I made it specially.

-You didn't tell her?

-Tell her what?

That you were bringing a black man to the house?

Of course not. It's good for her to have a surprise.

I thought you'd said you told her all about our music?

I did, but she thinks all dance bands are white.

I hope to hear your music, Mr Lester.

-I would be very interested in doing that.

-Well...

I'm going to try and persuade Louis and the band to come and play

in the garden here one Sunday afternoon.

Well, maybe not in the garden.

The neighbours might not like that, not on a Sunday.

Who knows, we might get the whole street dancing.

HE CHUCKLES

Always keep a bottle hidden away for when I drop by.

Me mum doesn't approve of liquor, bless her.

Now, there's only one glass...

..so I'll have the bottle.

Some of these records are really old,

-are they the first ones you ever bought?

-Some of them, yes.

Snoop away, by all means.

It's always a good idea to see people's childhood bedrooms -

you can tell a lot from them.

Probably started a magazine at school, didn't you?

Course I did.

Wrote and performed music there as well, formed my own little band

and then gave it rave reviews in the magazine I'd started.

You were in a hurry, even then.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, I've always been in a hurry.

You have to have a lot going on, so at least something has a chance of working.

At the moment, as well as writing most of the magazine,

I'm working on a movie scenario about King Arthur,

an Edgar Wallace sort of thriller for the theatre,

I'm trying to get Farquhar and Tonk turned into an animated cartoon for the cinema

or else a series on the wireless, and I want to make Music Express

the top-selling music magazine in the country.

I want to beat Melody Maker.

That's not enough, Stanley(!)

-That's not enough(!)

-You're right, it isn't.

And, of course, I'm going to make you the number one band in Britain, naturally.

I'm very ambitious, Louis.

So should you be.

You think I'm not?

I don't know yet.

Maybe underneath that calm exterior of yours,

you're more ambitious than you seem.

I want to reach a really big audience, of course,

but I think some things are meant to take time.

Mmm.

Speaking of which...

Wesley your permanent manager?

Why?

-Just wondered.

-Yes.

Definitely.

He argues a lot, I know, but he's very effective.

GIGGLING

-What are you doing?

-I just met a friend.

Joe's out tonight, so we will not be interrupted.

-It's perfect.

-It's against the rules.

I think you'll find not too many people keep to those rules, Carla.

Don't worry. Just remember who got you here.

Ah, those musicians at the Imperial Hotel...

A four-month booking now?

We just need to check if that includes all of them.

I feel we need proof of that.

-I never make mistakes, Harry, as you know.

-No, sir, you do not.

Very occasionally I take risks, and they pay off.

They do, sir. Very much so.

But maybe I've made a bad mistake with this Louis Lester Band.

Their kind of music is, as we know, not to everyone's taste.

Not to everybody's taste, no, sir. This is true.

Business is still picking up, is it?

In the main dining room, yes, sir. At the moment.

Have there been any serious complaints?

There have been a number of complaints, of course.

Not always from where one might expect.

What's this about, Harry?

RINGS DOORBELL

There you are. I thought you might not come.

Why did you think that?

Because I invited you completely out of the blue.

Well, I heard there were some rather good photographs of me here.

We don't actually know that yet, how good the photographs are.

What do you mean?

Because I haven't developed them.

I thought you'd like to see it happen.

Yes, I've never seen this before.

Never?

No. In fact, I've not had many photographs taken of me at all.

Maybe...once before.

Well, that will soon change, I expect.

-HE CHUCKLES

-You sound like Stanley.

Well, Stanley's a bit of a rogue but he's not always wrong.

And your father doesn't mind you having these chemicals in the house?

Oh, no. No, he quite likes the idea of his daughter being artistic.

He's Russian, remember?

Who's this?

Oh, that's Lady Cremone. She's an interesting lady,

but she's a recluse.

She has an apartment at the Imperial but she never, ever uses it.

What do you think?

I like it.

He really is spooky, isn't he?

Yes, he is.

-< MAN:

-Sarah?

Sarah, are you there?

Sarah?

Hello, Daddy. I was just showing Mr Lester my photographs

in the darkroom. Louis, this is my father.

Delighted to meet you, sir.

Mr Lester is the band leader I was talking to you about.

Good afternoon. I had no idea you had a guest, Sarah.

No idea at all.

If I'd known, I would have hurried home an hour earlier.

# Wind blows round the steeple

# Empty world and sleepy people

# I lie awake and... #

I lie awake and whisper! Carla, come on, we rehearsed this for two hours.

Hang on, one second. Wesley....

Yes.

Yes, everything seems in the right place.

Not bad at all, Stanley.

Just remember,

give enough space to the West End shows and you can't go wrong.

Don't work too late tonight, will you?

And are you working late tonight?

Not tonight, Rosie, I don't think I am.

Have to be elsewhere, lots happening.

I'm sure there is, Stanley, yes.

It's a bloody site better than "not bad".

Julian.

Hello, my dear friend, sorry to interrupt so rudely.

But do you know what that is?

Don't know, what is it?

Go on, have a guess.

A little shovel for somebody's town garden.

Couldn't be more wrong.

I am now a Master Mason.

-I've been lifted to a new category.

-Well, congratulations, Julian.

-Thank you, my dear friend.

-I didn't know you were a Mason.

I'm going along to the temples tonight, as it happens,

in the sub-basement of the Imperial, just as I told you.

And I was wondering,

knowing how you're interested in so many things, Stanley,

if you'd like to come along and watch me go in, in my full regalia.

I can't, can I? I thought it was highly secret.

DOOR OPENS

STANLEY CHUCKLES

Don't worry, I know you read my magazine from cover to cover,

there's no need to be bashful.

I won't be reading it much longer, it gets worse every week.

Your presence has been requested in the sub-basement.

I'm told it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

BELLS RING

What do you think?

LOUIS LAUGHS

You look tremendous, Julian.

You're not meant to be seen in those, are you?

No, I'm not.

Only by fellow Masons.

I just popped out of the special robing room.

We'll see if I get fined or something infinitely worse.

Now, follow me.

Come on.

BELLS RING

-Where are we going, Julian?

-Sh!

Promise me you won't write about this, Stanley.

-Oh, I never promise that.

-Promise.

And you, Louis, you won't tell anybody?

Whatever it is, I'll take it to my grave, I swear.

I'm trying to remember where it is.

A-ha! There it is.

Come and have a look at this.

Very few people get to see this ever.

It was made as a dare a few years ago.

And people have just forgotten that it's here.

That is wonderful.

There's dukes in there.

See if you can see the Duke of Bedford

or the Head of the Foreign Office.

-Huh!

-There's no members of the Royal Family sadly, today.

BELLS RING

Now, I'm late, I should be in there.

And, er...

Remember, don't breathe a word to anyone,

otherwise we're all for it.

That's the best time I've ever had in a linen cupboard, you know.

If I succeed in making this place really fashionable,

they may decide they have to move on,

find a more sleepy hotel.

You gonna flush out the Masons, are you, Stanley?

Mr Schlesinger would like to see you, Mr Lester.

What about?

Not you, Stanley. I said Mr Lester.

I have received a message from the immigration authorities

that they require a letter from me, stating that Mr Wesley Holt

is essential to your performances as a band.

-I will not write that letter.

-Then I'll have to write it.

You can write as many letters as you like, Mr Lester,

but unfortunately it is from me that they wish to hear.

And I know that Mr Holt's presence is not necessary

for the success of the band.

His presence is absolutely necessary, he's our manager.

-Without him, the band could easily break up.

-You don't believe that.

-I do believe that.

I intend to inform the authorities that in my view Mr Holt is

an undesirable, destructive personality, who is utterly

superfluous to the entertainment operation of this hotel.

That is not true.

PHONE RINGS

Mr Holt has stolen food on more than five occasions.

Food? That's ridiculous. What food has he stolen?

Various cakes and other desserts.

He has brought female companions back to his room.

And no musician at this hotel has ever done that before?

You can look me in the eye and tell me that, can you?

You wanted accommodation in this hotel.

I gave you that accommodation, and now your manager behaves like this.

Are you telling me that you are happy with that, Mr Lester?

I will inform him of these allegations.

They're not allegations! He was seen by members of staff!

And I will tell the other members of the band that there is an attempt

to prevent Mr Holt from working with us, and in the event of that

happening, we may very well be forced to move on to another hotel.

I met Harold Voight from the Cecil the other day.

He couldn't believe, could absolutely not believe,

that I had coloured musicians staying in this hotel.

Just down the road at the Savoy Theatre,

people are walking out of Othello even as we speak

because the coloured actor, what's his name, Robeson, is kissing

his Desdemona, and yet I give you four months' work in this hotel!

People are amazed at what I've done!

I wouldn't be so sure about getting another booking, Mr Lester.

Well, I am sure of one thing.

If Mr Holt is prevented from being here with us,

there is no possibility of us carrying on without him.

Isn't there?

Wesley.

I've been looking for you everywhere. Where you been?

-I had to see Schlesinger.

-Oh, yes, he told me that!

Gentlemen, this passage is for management only.

I want to know what's going on, Louis.

The authorities want a letter saying you're needed here.

-But since you've behaved like an idiot, he won't write it.

-I've been doing what?!

How you can be so stupid, Wesley? Stealing food, bringing women back.

Is that what he told you I'd done?

Right! I'm going to go and get to speak to him right now!

Wesley!

How dare he talk to you rather than talk to me!

I'm the manager of this band - if it's about me,

he'll talk to me, nobody else. No-one!

Wesley, just calm down for Christ's sake!

Just stop him, we'll find a room to do this.

-They don't think I'm necessary?

-Nobody's saying you're not.

-I told him that, I told him just now.

-I don't believe you! You're lying!

-Wesley!

You'd be finished without me! Who's going to fight for you now, get things done?

-Who got you the contract, the rooms?

-It was you, of course...

-Everybody knows what you do.

-What, you think he's going to do it?

Let me tell you about these people - him, Mr Donaldson and the rest -

he'll drop you in a couple of weeks, move on to somebody else.

-He'll drop you so fast.

-I know that.

-Rubbish!

-No, you don't know, Louis!

You think he'll make you famous, think he'll make you a star?

Put you on the front cover of his magazine?

And you think I'm the idiot here? You know nothing, Louis!

That's why I told Schlesinger you had to stay!

He can't stop me from working with you. I helped build this band,

it's as much my work as yours. Schlesinger!

Not in the lobby!

-Schlesinger!

-Wesley, please!

-Where the hell is Mr Schlesinger?

If you got your birth certificate, none of this would be happening.

When have I had time to do that? When have I been able to do that,

when I haven't been working for you? Come on, tell me, when?!

Night after night I have been working for you.

Go now and get it for Christ's sake.

Go down there, go to Wales, get the authorities to look up the records.

Is this is what it's about? A fucking birth certificate?

-Yes!

-One fucking birth certificate?!

-Yes!

One fucking piece of paper!

Don't do this in here, just shut your mouth!

So what if I can't find it?

What if there is no record? What then?

They'll send me back to the US, is that it?

-Nobody's talking about sending you back.

-Oh, yes, they are!

That's what they want to do, what they WILL do.

They'll arrest me as soon as I get off the boat!

Calm down! That wouldn't happen.

Do you realise what they'll do to me?

They will try me.

They'll probably execute me!

-They will send me to the chair. They will!

-Wesley...

And all because I stole a piece of cake?

Is that what Schlesinger wants,

all because of a fucking piece of cake?

-SOBBING:

-I will never go back. Do you understand?

I cannot go back.

WOMAN SHRIEKS

Gentlemen.

And ladies, of course...

I thought I should inform you that Mr Holt is now in custody.

He's in prison?

He's being detained at the Alien Registration Office,

where the authorities are showing a keen interest in him.

I'll go down there first thing tomorrow.

Glad to meet you gentlemen at long last.

And ladies too, obviously.

Mr Lester, could you step out here for a moment?

I asked just Mr Lester to come out here, Stanley.

So you did. Now, what you got to tell us, Nathan?

I have received a message.

Another message from the Alien Registration Office?

Not exactly.

Not unless they're now running their operations from Buckingham Palace.

I've received a message that next Friday,

His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales will be coming to dine here

for the first time,

with the express purpose of listening to the Louis Lester Band.

His brother must have liked you, mustn't he?

I do hope you will be here, Mr Lester,

to entertain your future King.

Brought me a present, have you?

I've brought several presents, from me and the boys.

Some cigars and of course some cakes and eclairs.

I hope you stole those from the kitchen.

We're going to find that birth certificate in Cardiff.

Mr Donaldson is involved now and he has contacts at the Home Office.

Good.

That's good.

I know what you're thinking.

If I was so afraid about going back, why didn't I find it before?

I did mean to find it.

It does exist, you know. You've got to believe me.

I do believe you.

TYPEWRITER KEYS CLATTER

Mr Holt is a British citizen. He has a birth certificate

which is lost, but there must be a record of it in Cardiff.

We're going to produce that proof.

Produce it by next Friday, by 9 o'clock in the evening,

and naturally he will not be deported.

If he is a citizen, he has every right to stay here, of course.

-And if it takes longer?

-It can't take longer.

The deadline cannot be extended,

nor is there any other process of appeal.

I won't discuss this matter in front of the press.

I'm not here as a member of the press, Nathan,

I'm here as the person who discovered the band.

I think maybe it would be best if I deal with this, Stanley.

I'll get old Nathan to drop the charges against Wesley.

And I am in touch with the authorities in Wales, they'll be

making a telephone call very shortly to the immigration authorities.

Don't worry, everything's in hand.

Are we ready, Stanley?

I think we're ready, Nathan.

You know what they say about the Prince.

What he likes today, the whole of London likes tomorrow.

Well, that was the plan, wasn't it, somehow, to get him here.

If it misfires, if he doesn't like them,

if he walks out, well, half the diners will leave as well of course!

MAN PLAYS TRUMPET

Joe. Joe, have you seen Louis? Has anybody seen Louis?

Go and have a look, would you?

HE SIGHS Musicians.

-Pamela. What are you doing back here?

-I was looking for you.

-For me? Why?

-I came to warn you.

-Warn me?

The Prince may not come, just be prepared.

He always accepts five invitations for every night.

He may even get here and then change his mind

and leave at the last minute without even getting to the dining room.

Right.

I will be doing my best to stop that from happening, of course.

Stanley, I want this to go well for you.

So do I, I forced Mr Schlesinger to follow this plan.

I know.

I've been thinking about the picnic.

A lot.

More than I thought I would.