The Girl in the Fireplace Doctor Who

SCREAMING

We are under attack.

There are creatures.

I don't even think they're human.

-We can't stop them.

-The clock is broken.

He's coming.

Did you hear what I said?

Listen to me.

There is a man coming to Versailles.

He has watched over me my whole life and he will not desert me tonight.

What are you talking about? What man?

The only man, save you, I have ever loved.

No, don't look like that, there's no time. You have your duties.

I am your mistress, go to your Queen.

Are you there? Can you hear me?

I need you now, you promised.

The clock on the mantel is broken!

It is time!

Doctor! Doctor!

It's a space ship. Brilliant!

I got a space ship on my first go!

Looks kind of abandoned.

-Anyone on board?

-Nah, nothing here.

Well, nothing dangerous.

Well, not that dangerous.

You know what? I'll just have a quick scan...

in case there's anything dangerous.

So, what's the date? How far have we gone?

About 3,000 years into your future, give or take.

The 51st Century.

The Dagmar Cluster. You're a long way from home, Mickey!

Two and a half galaxies!

Mickey Smith, meet the universe.

..See anything you like?

-It's so...realistic!

-Dear me, had some cowboys in here.

Been a ton of repair work going on.

Now, that's odd, look at that!

All the warp engines are going.

Full capacity! There's enough power running through this ship to punch a hole in the universe.

And we're not moving.

-So where's all that power going?

-Where'd all the crew go?

Good question. No life readings on board.

Well, we're in deep space, they didn't just nip out for a quick fag.

No, I've checked all the smoking pods.

You smell that?

-Yeah. Someone's cooking.

-Sunday roast, definitely.

Now, there's something you don't see in your average space ship.

18th Century. French.

Nice mantel.

Not a hologram.

Not even a reproduction. This actually is an 18th Century French fireplace. Double-sided.

There's another room through there.

-It can't be, that's the outer hull of the ship. Look!

-Hello.

-Hello.

-What's your name?

-Reinette.

Reinette? That's a lovely name.

Can you tell me where you are, at the moment, Reinette?

-In my bedroom.

-Where's your bedroom? Where do you live, Reinette?

-Paris, of course.

-Paris! Right.

Monsieur, what are you doing in my fireplace?

Oh, just a routine...fire check.

-Can you tell me what year it is?

-Of course I can! 1727.

Right, lovely, one of my favourites.

August is rubbish though - stay indoors.

OK, that's all for now, thanks for your help.

Hope you enjoy the rest of the fire. Night-night!

Good night, Monsieur.

You said this was the 51st Century.

I also said this ship was generating enough power to punch a hole in the universe. We just found the hole.

Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink.

-What's that?

-No idea, just made it up.

Didn't want to say "magic door".

And on the other side of the... "magic door", it's France in 1727?

Well, she was speaking French.

-Right period French too.

-She was speaking English, I heard her.

-That's the Tardis, translates for you.

-Even French?

Yep!

-Gotcha!

-Doctor!

HORSE WHINNEYS

It's OK! Don't scream, it's me. It's the fireplace man, look!

We were talking. Just a moment ago. I was in your fireplace.

-Monsieur, that was weeks ago. That was months.

-Really?

Must be a loose connection.

-Need to get a man in.

-Who are you and what are you doing here?

TICKING

OK. That's scary.

You're scared of a broken clock?

Just a bit scared, yeah, just a little tiny bit.

Cos you see, if this clock's broken,

and it's the only clock in the room...then what's that?

Cos you see, that's not a clock.

You can tell by the resonance.

Too big.

Six feet, I'd say...size of a man.

-What is it?

-Now. Let's think.

If you were a thing that ticked and you were hiding in someone's bedroom, first thing you'd do -

break the clock. No-one notices the sound of one clock ticking, but two?

You might start to wonder if you're really alone.

Stay on the bed. Right in the middle.

Don't put your hands or feet over the edge!

Reinette, don't look round.

You stay exactly where you are.

Hold still, let me look.

You've been scanning her brain!

What, you've crossed two galaxies and thousands of years just to scan a child's brain?

What could there be in a little girl's mind worth blowing a hole in the universe?

I don't understand.

It wants me?

You want me?

Not yet. You are incomplete.

Incomplete?

What's that mean, incomplete?

You can answer her, you can answer me. What do you mean, incomplete?

Monsieur, be careful!

It's just a nightmare, Reinette, don't worry about it. Everyone has nightmares.

Even monsters from under the bed have nightmares. Don't you, monster?

-What do monsters have nightmares about?

-Me! Ha!

Doctor!

Excellent! Ice gun!

-Fire extinguisher.

-Where'd that thing come from?

-Here.

So why's it dressed like that?

Field trip to France. Some kind of basic camouflage protocol.

Nice needle-work. Shame about the face!

Oh, you are beautiful!

No, really, you are! You're gorgeous!

Look at that! Space age clockwork!

I Love it! I've got chills!

Listen, seriously, I mean this from the heart,

and by the way, count those, it would be a crime, it would be an act of vandalism, to disassemble you.

But that won't stop me!

-Short-range teleport. Can't have gone far. Could still be on board.

-What is it?

-Don't go looking for it.

-Where you going?

-Back in a sec.

He said not to look for it.

Yeah, he did.

Now you're getting it!

Reinette?

Just checking you're OK.

Hmm-hmm.

Oh! Hello!

I was just looking for Reinette.

This is still her room, isn't it?

I've been away, not sure how long.

Reinette? We are ready to go!

Go to the carriage, mother, I will join you there.

It is customary, I think, to have an imaginary friend only during one's childhood.

You are to be congratulated on your persistence.

Reinette. Well!

Goodness! How you've grown.

And you do not appear to have aged a single day.

That is tremendously impolite of you.

Right, yeah, sorry.

Um, um, um...

Listen, lovely to catch up, but better be off, eh?

Don't want your mother finding you up here with a strange man, do we?

Strange? How could you be a stranger to me?

I've known you since I was seven years old.

Yeah, I suppose you have.

I came the quick route.

Well, you seem to be flesh and blood at any rate. But this is absurd. Reason tells me you cannot be real.

Oh, you never want to listen to reason.

Mademoiselle?

Your mother grows impatient.

A moment!

So many questions.

So little time.

Mademoiselle! Poisson!

Poisson!

Reinette Poisson! No!

No, no, no!

No way! Reinette Poisson! Later Madame d'Etoiles?!

Later still mistress of Louis XV! Uncrowned Queen of France!

Actress, artist, musician, dancer, courtesan, fantastic gardener.

Who the hell are you?

I'm The Doctor! And I just snogged Madame de Pompadour!

Rose?

Mickey? Every time! Every time!

It's rule one...don't wander off!

I tell them, I do! Rule one! There could be anything on this ship!

IT WHINNEYS

Are you looking at me?

Ah! Look at this!

That's an eye in there.

That's a real eye.

RHYTHMIC PUMPING

What is that?

What's that in the middle there? It's like it's wired in.

It's a heart.

Mickey, it's a human heart.

Rose?

Will you stop following me?

I'm not your mother!

So this is where you came from, eh, horsey?

Oh, Katherine, you are too wicked.

Speaking of wicked, I hear Madame de Chateauroux is ill and close to death.

Yes, I am devastated.

Oh, indeed. I, myself, am frequently inconsolable.

The King will, therefore, be requiring a new mistress. You love the King, of course.

He is the King and I love him with all my heart.

And I look forward to meeting him.

Is something wrong, my dear?

Not wrong, no.

Every woman in Paris knows your ambitions.

Every woman in Paris shares them.

You know, of course, that the King is to attend the Yew Tree ball...

Maybe it wasn't a real heart.

Of course it was a real heart.

Is this, like, normal for you?

-Is this an average day?

-Life with The Doctor, Mickey.

No more average days.

It's France again. We can see France.

I think we're looking through a mirror.

Blimey, look at this guy! Who does he think he is?

The King of France.

-Oh, here's trouble! What you been up to?

-Oh, this and that.

Became the imaginary friend of a future French aristocrat, picked a fight with a clockwork man.

Oh, and I met a horse.

What's a horse doing on a space ship?

Mickey, what's pre-revolutionary France doing on a space ship? Get a little perspective!

See these? They're all over the place, on every deck.

Gateways to history.

But not just any old history.

Hers. Time windows.

Deliberately arranged along the life of one particular woman.

A space ship from the 51st Century stalking a woman from the 18th!

-Why?

-Who is she?

Jean-Antoinette Poisson!

Known to her friends as Reinette. One of the most accomplished women who ever lived.

So she got plans on being Queen then?

No, he's already got a queen. She's got plans on being his mistress.

Oh, I get it. Camilla!

I think this is the night they met.

The night of the Yew Tree Ball.

In no time flat she'll get herself established as his official mistress, with her own rooms at the palace.

Even her own title - Madame de Pompadour.

Queen must have loved her.

Oh, she did. They got on very well.

-The King's wife and the King's girlfriend?

-France.

It's a different planet.

How long have you been standing there? Show yourself!

-Hello, Reinette, hasn't time flown!

-Fireplace man!

-What's it doing?

-Switching back on.

-Melting the ice.

-And then what?

Then it kills everyone in the room.

Focuses the mind, doesn't it?

Who are you? Identify yourself!

Order it to answer me.

Why should it listen to me?

I don't know, but it did when you were a child.

Let's see if you've still got it.

Answer his question.

Answer any and all questions put to you.

I am Repair Droid Seven.

So what happened to the ship then?

There was a lot of damage.

Ion storm. 82% systems failure.

That ship hasn't moved in over a year. What's taken you so long?

We did not have the parts.

Always comes down to that, doesn't it? The parts.

-What happened to the crew? Where are they?

-We did not have the parts.

-There should've been over 50 people on your ship. Where did they go?

-We did not have the parts.

50 people don't just disappear...

Oh...

you didn't have the parts. So you used the crew.

The crew?!

We found a camera with an eye in it.

And there was a heart wired into machinery.

It's just doing what it's programmed to...repairing the ship any way it can, with whatever it can find.

No-one told it the crew weren't on the menu.

What did you say the flight deck smelled of?

-..Someone cooking...

-Flesh plus heat.

Barbecue.

But what are you doing here?

You've opened up time windows, that takes colossal energy.

Why come here, you could've gone to your repair yard.

Instead you come to 18th century France. Why?

One more part is required.

Then why haven't you taken it?

She is incomplete.

What? So that's the plan then?

You just keep opening up more and more time windows, scanning her brain, checking if she's done yet?

Why her?

If you've got all of history to choose from, why specifically her?

< We are the same.

We are not the same! We are in no sense the same!

-- We are the same. - Get out of here! Get out of here this instant!

-Reinette, no!

It's back on the ship! Rose, take Mickey and Arthur,

-don't approach it, just watch what it does.

-Arthur?

-Good name for a horse.

-You're not keeping the horse!

I let you keep Mickey. Now go, go, go!

You must trust me. I need to find out what they're looking for. There's only one way to do that.

Won't hurt a bit.

Fireplace man!

You are inside my mind.

Oh, dear, Reinette.

You've had some cowboys in here!

So! That Doctor, eh?

What are you talking about?

Well, Madame de Pompadour, Sarah Jane Smith... Cleopatra...

-Oh, Cleopatra! He mentioned her once!

-Yeah, but he called her Cleo.

-Mickey!

You are in my memories. You walk among them.

If there's anything you don't want me to see, just imagine a door and close it. I won't look.

Actually there's a door just there, you might want to close.

Actually, several.

To walk among the memories of another living soul. Do you ever get used to this?

I don't make a habit of it.

-How can you resist?

-What age are you?

So impertinent a question, so early in the conversation.

-How promising.

-Not my question.

Theirs. You're 23.

And for some reason that means you're not old enough.

Sorry. You might find old memories reawakening. Side effect.

Oh, such a lonely childhood!

It'll pass. Stay with me.

Oh, Doctor! So lonely.

So very, very alone.

What do you mean, alone? You've never been alone in your life.

When did you start calling me Doctor?

Such a lonely little boy!

Lonely then and lonelier now.

-How can you bear it?

-How did you do that?

A door, once opened, may be stepped through in either direction.

Oh, Doctor!

My lonely Doctor...

-dance with me.

-I can't.

Dance with me!

This is the night you dance with the King.

Then first I shall make him jealous.

-I can't.

-Doctor.

Doctor who?

It's more than just a secret, isn't it?

What did you see?

That there comes a time, Time Lord,

when every lonely little boy must learn how to dance.

What is this? What's going on? Doctor?

Rose!

They're going to chop us up. Just like the crew!

They're going to chop us and stick us all over their stupid space ship!

And where's The Doctor? Where's the precious Doctor now?

-Been gone for flippin' hours, that's where he is!

-You are compatible.

Well, you might want to think about that. You really, really might, because me and Mickey,

we didn't come here alone. Oh, no, and trust me, you wouldn't want

to mess with our designated driver.

Ever heard of the Daleks? Remember them?

They had a name for our friend.

They had myths about him and a name.

They called him the...

# I could have danced all night I could have danced all night...! #

They called him the...

# And still have begged for more!

# I could have spread my wings

# And done a thousand... Have you met the French?

# My God, they know how to party! #

Well, look at what the cat dragged in. The oncoming storm!

-Ooh, you sound just like your mother!

-What have you been doing? Where have you been?

Well, among other things, I think I just invented the Banana Daiquiri a couple of centuries early.

D'you know, they'd never even seen a banana before?

Always take a banana to a party, Rose. Bananas are good!

Oh, brilliant!

It's you!

You're my favourite, you are!

You are the best! You know why?

Cos you're so thick!

You're Mr Thick, Thick, Thicketty, Thick-face from Thick-town, Thickania.

And so's your Dad!

Do you know what they were scanning Reinette's brain for?

Her mileometer.

They wanted to know how old she is.

Know why? Cos this ship is 37 years old.

And they think when Reinette is 37, when she's "complete", then her brain will be compatible.

Cos that's what you're missing, isn't it, mmm? The command circuit from your computer.

Your ship needs a brain.

And for some reason, God knows what, only the brain of Madame de Pompadour will do.

The brain is compatible.

Compatible?

If you believe that then you probably believe this is a glass of wine.

Multi-grade anti-oil.

"If it moves, it doesn't."

Right, you two, that's enough lying about.

Time we got the rest of the ship turned off.

-Those things safe?

-Yep, safe.

Safe and thick. Way I like 'em.

OK, all the time windows are controlled from here.

Need to close them all down. Zeus plugs, where are my Zeus plugs?

Had them a minute ago, I was using them as castanets.

Why didn't they just open a time window to when she was 37?

Amount of damage in these circuits, they did well to hit the right century. Trial and error after that.

The windows aren't closing.

Why won't they close?

-What's that?

-I dunno.

-Incoming message?

-From who?

Report from the field. One of them must still be out there with Reinette.

That's why I can't close the windows, there's an override.

Oh. That was a bit clever.

Right, many things about this are not good.

Message from one of your little friends? Anything interesting?

She is complete. It begins.

What's happening?

One of them must have found the right time window. Now it's time to send in the troops.

And this time they're bringing back her head.

Madame de Pompadour... Please, don't scream or anything.

We haven't got a lot of time! I have come to warn you that they will be here in five years.

-Five years?

-Some time after your 37th birthday.

I can't give you an exact date, it's a bit random. But they're coming.

It's gonna happen.

In a way...for us...it's already happening.

I'm sorry, it's hard to explain - The Doctor does this better.

-Then be exact and I will be attentive.

-There isn't time.

There are five years.

For you. I haven't got five minutes.

Then also be concise.

Um...there's a...vessel.

A ship. A sort of sky ship.

And it's full of...well, you.

Different bits of your life, in different rooms all jumbled up. I told you it was complicated. Sorry.

There is a vessel in your world,

where the days of my life are pressed together, like the chapters of a book, so that he may step from one

to the other without increase of age,

while I, weary traveller, must always take the slower path.

He was right about you!

So! In five years these creatures will return.

-What can be done?

-The Doctor says, keep them talking.

They're kind of programmed to respond to you.

-Now, you won't be able to stop them, but you might be able to delay them a bit.

-Until?

Until The Doctor can get there.

-He's coming then?

-He promises.

But he cannot make his promises in person?

He'll be there when you need him. That's the way

-it's got to be.

-It's the way it has always been.

The monsters and The Doctor.

It seems you cannot have one without the other.

Tell me about it.

The thing is, you weren't supposed to have either.

Those creatures are messing with history.

-None of this was ever supposed to happen to you.

-Supposed to happen?

What does that mean?

It happened, child, and I would not have had it any other way.

One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel.

Rose? Rose?

Rose?

The Time Window where she's 37.

We've found it, right under our noses!

No, you can't go in there!

The Doctor will go mad!

So this is his world.

-SCREAMING What was that?

-The Time Window.

-The Doctor fixed an audio link.

-Those screams.

Is that my future?

Yes. I'm sorry.

Then I must take the slower path.

REINETTE'S VOICE: 'Are you there? Can you hear me?

'I need you now, you promised! The clock on the mantel is broken! It is time!'

-That's my voice.

-Rose, come on, we've got to go.

-There's a problem!

-Give me a moment!

-Are you OK?

-No. I am very afraid.

But you and I both know, don't we, Rose?

The Doctor is worth the monsters.

'Doctor! Doctor!'

PEOPLE SCREAM

Doctor!

We must go! No-one is coming to help us.

You are complete. You will come.

-You found it, then!

-They knew I was coming, they've blocked it off.

-Where are we going?

-The teleport has limited range.

We must have proximity to the time portal.

Your words mean nothing.

You are nothing.

-I don't get it. How come they got in there?

-They teleported, you saw them. As long as the ship

and the ballroom are linked, their short-range teleports will do the trick.

-We'll go in the Tardis!

-I can't use the Tardis, we're part of events now!

-Can't we just smash through?

Hyperplex this side, plate glass the other. We'd need a truck.

-We don't have a truck!

-I know we don't have a truck!

-Well, we've got to try something!

No, smash the glass, smash the Time Window, there'd be no way back.

Could everyone just calm down! Please!

Such a commotion, such distressing noise.

Kindly remember that this is Versailles.

This is the Royal Court. And we are French.

I have made a decision.

And my decision is "no".

I shall not be going with you today.

I have seen your world, I have no desire to set foot there again.

We do not require your feet.

ALL SCREAM

You think I fear you,

but I do not fear you even now.

You are merely the nightmare of my childhood.

The monster from under my bed.

And if my nightmare can return to plague me, then rest assured, so will yours!

HORSE NEIGHS

HORSE GALLOPS IN DISTANCE

Madame de Pompadour.

You look younger ever day.

What the hell is going on?

Oh!

This is my lover, the King of France.

Yeah, well I'm the Lord of Time.

And I'm here to fix the clock!

Forget it. It's over.

For you and for me.

Talk about seven years' bad luck.

Try three thousand!

What happened?

Where did the Time Window go?

How's he gonna get back?

The link with the ship is broken.

No way back.

You don't have the parts.

How many ticks left in that clockwork heart?

A day? An hour? It's over.

Accept that.

I'm not winding you up.

You all right?

What's happened to them?

They've stopped.

They have no purpose now.

We can't fly the Tardis without him.

How is he going to get back?

You know all their names, don't you?

I saw that in your mind.

The name of every star.

What's in a name? Names are just titles. Titles don't tell you anything.

Like "The Doctor"?

Like "Madame de Pompadour".

I have often wished to see those stars a little closer.

Just as you have, I think.

From time to time.

In saving me, you trapped yourself.

Did you know that would happen?

-Pretty much.

-Yet still you came.

Yeah, I did, didn't I?

Catch me doing that again!

There were many doors between my world and yours.

Can you not use one of the others?

When the mirror broke, the shock would've severed all the links with the ship.

There'll be a few more broken mirrors and torn tapestries around here, I'm afraid.

Wherever there was a time window.

I'll, I'll pay for any damage.

That's a thought, I'm going to need money. Always been a bit vague about money.

..Where do you get money?

So here you are.

My lonely angel.

Stuck on the slow path with me.

Yep! The slow path!

Here's to the slow path.

It's a pity. I think I would have enjoyed the slow path.

Well, I'm not going anywhere.

Oh, aren't you?

Take my hand.

It is not a copy, it is the original.

I had it moved here and was exact in every detail.

The fireplace.

The fireplace from your bedroom! ..When did you do this?

Many years ago.

In the hope that a door once opened may some day open again.

One never quite knows when one needs one's doctor.

It appears undamaged. Do you think it will still work?

You broke the bond with the ship when you moved it.

Which means it was off-line when the mirror broke, that's what saved it.

But the link is basically physical,

and it's still physically here,

which might just mean, if I'm lucky,

if I'm very, very, very, very lucky...

-A-ha!

-What?

-Loose connection!

Need to get a man in! Wish me luck!

No.

Madame de Pompadour? ..Still want to see those stars?

-More than anything.

-Gimme two minutes. Pack a bag!

Am I going somewhere?

Go to the window. Pick a star. Any star.

-How long did you wait?

-5½ hours.

-Great!

Always wait 5½ hours.

-Where've you been?

-Explain later, into the Tardis. With you in a sec!

Reinette, are you there? Reinette?

Reinette?

Oh, hello!

You just missed her.

She'll be in Paris by six.

Oh.

Good Lord!

She was right.

She said you never looked a day older.

So many years since I saw you last, but not a day of it on your face.

She spoke of you many times.

Often wished you would visit again.

You know how women are.

HORSE NEIGHS

And there she goes.

Leaving Versailles for the last time.

Only 43 when she died.

Too young.

Too young.

Illness took her in the end.

She always did work too hard.

What does she say?

Of course.

Quite right.

Why her?

Why did they think they could repair the ship with the head of Madame de Pompadour?

We'll probably never know.

There's massive damage in the computer memory decks, it probably got confused.

The Tardis can close down the Time Windows, now the droids have gone -

should stop it causing any more trouble.

You all right?

I'm always all right.

Come on, Rose, time you showed me round the rest of this place.

"My dear Doctor.

"The path has never seemed more slow and yet I fear I am nearing its end.

"Reason tells me that you and I are unlikely to meet again, but I think I shall not listen to reason.

"I have seen the world inside your head, and know that all things are possible.

"Hurry though, my love.

"My days grow shorter now, and I am so very weak.

"Godspeed, my lonely angel."

-So this is London.

-An alternative to our world,

where everything's the same but a little bit different.

Loads of people are disappearing!

It's been going on for months!

-What are they all doing?

-It's the earpieces...

The prototype has passed every test, sir. It's working!

-I've seen them before...

-What are they?

A skin of metal and a body that will never age!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd - 2006

E-mail [email protected]