Episode 3 EastEnders: Back to Ours

Want one? No, I don't like them. You want one?

Don't like olives. No.

I've got the giggles, I'm sorry.

You're like a big furry seal.

Oh, that's the loveliest thing you've ever said to me.

No!

HORN HONKS

What are you doing? Get off me!

SHE TRIES TO PLAY THE TRUMPET

# Hey, brother

# There's an endless road to rediscover

# Hey, sister... #

Two stretch ago, look. I know.

I remember being more nervous...

I was more nervous about driving the car than speaking.

Lady Di hated us then. I know. She hates us now!

Keep it low, keep it low. Don't I look young?

I've got a really wonky quiff. Here we go.

I don't know, maybe that was a choice then.

What I'd give for a quiff, you know what I mean?

Have a little squint up and see.

It's different.

LADY DI SNORTS

Come on, look! Everyone out!

This was Boxing Day, no? Yep.

With all this press bollocks,

"Dyer Versus Downton" - that was the headline.

Oh, God. Me against Downton Abbey. "Boxing Dyer".

"Boxing Dyer", that was the other one.

"Christmas Dyer."

That was the day we were sort of starting.

I don't mind the challenge, but my arse was flapping.

I had a thing that went with my name - either you loved me

and said I was a legend or you despised me

"Get him off me screen, this is ridiculous."

And now... Cos this was one of the greatest moves I've ever made,

career-wise, on this platform to show what you can do and not people

going out and buying your DVD that's in a bargain bin for two quid.

Not that you've ever had that problem, Kel, all right? I have.

And, you know, all of a sudden I'm in their living rooms

and they've got to watch me.

Is there a problem?

I'm just chucking out the rubbish. Out, Shirley, out.

I wasn't talking to you.

You all right? You know her?

At this point you're still thinking, "Are we going to be a car crash?"

Everybody...

meet the new owner of the Vic.

Yep. We're taking over the Vic. Yep.

Phil, meet Mick...

'It was the first duff-duff that we ever did.'

..my brother.

'And it went on for ever and ever and ever.

'I remember we had three versions of that, didn't we? I remember.'

One with the laughing and one with me just standing there, pouting.

Mm-hmm. "Give us the laughy version." I thought,

"That's stupid. Laughing at a duff-duff, never heard of."

If you give them the laughy version... Then they use it.

Then they BLEEP use it. Exactly. Sorry, I've swore already.

# What's that coming over the hill?

# Is it a monster? Is it a monster? #

Oh, here we go, look. This is when Max first arrives, first ever scene.

Oh, cute.

Wow, I had hair then, sort of.

THEY LAUGH

Oh, is this yours, is it?

You turned sporty in your old age?

Look, I want you to go. I ain't going anywhere.

He came back to the Square to find Bradley, obviously.

I want you to leave now.

What you going to do, you going to hit me?

You going to bend me over your knee, just like old times?

You deserved every blow, mate. Every smack you ever got.

The only mistake I made was I didn't hit you harder!

The one and only John Bardon.

I did me best, we all make mistakes. Well, don't I know it, eh?

I'm living proof of your parenting skills.

'Did you feel mean, doing that?'

Yeah, poor John.

I want you out of this... Get off me. Get out of here!

Get out of my house! Get your hands off me!

Nope, I can't watch that.

I don't remember this scene, this is brilliant.

I remember a few days after this as well,

John came to my dressing room and his arms were a bit sore

and he lifted up his shirt and he had bruises.

Oh, you're disgusting.

I bought him a bottle of champagne to apologise. Aww.

What's going on? What are you doing?

Nothing, nothing. Well, who is he?

Who are you? Grandad, what's he doing?

Don't recognise me? No. No, I don't.

Grandad, who is he?

He's your dad.

'I think Max is a good parent but he's basically misguided.'

Absolutely deluded. He doesn't let anyone...

Do you remember when you were going to leave us all for Stacey?

You got your passport and were going to go away,

run away without even telling us. It's complicated!

Christmas Day, bye! Bye, Dad!

It's complicated. It's not complicated.

You're the worst dad. You're awful.

He tries to do the right thing but he always does it in the wrong way.

Let's just say that, shall we?

No! You're such a liar.

# Things can only get better... #

Ugh. Fancy having to touch people's dirty underwear.

Can't you wear gloves or something?

We need to talk about Bianca.

'Why, what's the matter? Is she playing you up, is she?'

Look how young they look. And me.

'It's much worse than that.'

She's not pregnant, is she?

Look, I never laid a finger on her... No, she's not pregnant!

'How did it feel in your 30s coming into this?'

I was absolutely petrified, actually.

Bianca's your daughter, David.

'I remember I smiled'

at everybody for eight months.

Like a Wallace and Gromit smile.

How was it coming in like that?

It felt enormous. There wasn't any reality television at that time.

No, no.

So, EastEnders was on twice a week and the nation was watching this.

So it felt incredible... incredibly scary that, you know,

suddenly, everybody was going to know you wherever you were.

Listen to me, David. Bianca's your daughter.

If you don't believe me, ask Pat.

Are you telling me my mum knows about all this? Oh, yeah.

'Pat knows all right.'

I like that tabard.

# Make me feel like I'm living a

# Teenage dream the way you turn me on... #

Oh, no. What's he doing?

We got a new mirror there. Don't. This is awful.

This is your first scene? Yes. I can't even look.

DOORBELL

If you find it, you can keep it.

'Your friend's walked in before you!'

LAUGHTER

Wow, you've changed. Lauren.

What...what are you doing here?

Oh, love you, too, Dad.

I suppose this is the first time

we'd seen you since you had a different head.

And my first line is, "Cor, you've changed." Brilliant. That's good.

Proper chocolate at last.

So, what have you done? Done? That hurts, Dad, that you think that.

It's simple, I got homesick, so here I am.

You could have called me, you know what I mean? There's these things,

Lauren, they're called phones.

There's also things called hugs and kisses.

So, you got back from America, did you? Yes, but that was

to clarify I'm really American now. Is that your American thing? Yeah.

AMERICAN ACCENT: "Hey, Dad!"

And I had to reveal myself, like, take my hat off.

So sexy, look at me. Stop.

If you'd like to take your ticket

and wait for your number to be called.

I've been waiting over an hour at that airport for you. Really?

I didn't see you, and I was looking. Oh. Right.

And then I thought, "Where would she go?

"Where would this poor little child go?" Let's have a think, shall we?

Expelled from school, sent home.

"I know, I'll go and see Daddy, shall I?

"He don't know a thing about it."

'I imagine it's hard stepping into a different character.'

I thought everyone hated me.

For six months, like, "Who's that chubby Lauren?

"She's really rubbish."

And I remember sitting on a train once...

I'm not going to get into it, I'll start crying.

Being expelled from school is something different in America.

Max, if I could just grab the earring. What about being sent home?

Is that different as well, is it? Funny you should say that.

She was sent home for doing drugs.

I was sitting on a train once, right?

And I was looking out the window,

and these people were talking about EastEnders and da-da-da.

"Seen the new Lauren?" I thought...

Oh, no, they were just talking about it? I thought, "I'm on the train, I'm here."

Did they not know you were there?

I think... They'd have to. I hope so.

Then they started really bitching about me. Oh, no.

They were like, "She's so bad. Get her off.

"The old one was so much better."

Yeah, I used to get on the train with you, didn't I?

LAUGHTER

Jake and his family!

"You seen the new Lauren?" I got rumbled!

Oh, no, this can't be it.

'You think about it,'

when we first started the amount of storylines we had. There's so many.

Leave Lady Di and the haddock. It's doing that thing with its leg again!

Well, then, she must need a pony!

Two bits of slang straight away.

Get hold of that. Haddock and pony.

'This was early doors. This was so early doors, wasn't it?'

We didn't really know each other that well.

Discovering each other's bodies and our own bodies and stuff.

You know what I mean.

I do. Just trying to get into that flow.

'Here she is. Look at her! Maddy Hill. I know. Look at that baby.'

Why I, Nancy Carter... Why I, Nancy Carter...

'The show feels different doing anything on location.'

There's a different vibe to it.

Because we're not in our usual environment. No.

No, so everyone has a little panic. All the Pat bollocks and all that.

Sorry I've sworn. I do apologise. Don't apologise, it's who you are.

Just being with a mate. It's who you are, honey.

..why I, Wayne Ladlow, may not be joined in matrimony to Nancy.

Oh, even that winds me up now.

Nancy!

Dad. No offence, Wayne.

It's just, you know, your attitude. What are you talking about, bruv?

What are you doing? Dad, get off me!

Get off of me!

Put me down.

PEOPLE SHOUT

Put me down!

I can remember filming that and thinking that was so cod,

like, as if we could hold them back,

just stick a broom handle through, and...

You soon realise you're in a soap, you know what I mean?

It's not a disrespectful thing, but it's a totally different world.

Fascist!

Because there's no arc within your characters on a soap,

because you don't know where it's going,

what we've got to do is, if you come in, you've got to hit

the ground running, and you've got to get on as people.

For me, that's what's been the success of the Carters.

Was the fact that you and I and Sam and Maddy were so close so quickly.

We did get close, totally.

I didn't have to audition so they brought me in at a mad time.

Who's the geezer you done a screen test with? SHE LAUGHS

Don't get jealous cos I had to screen test with someone else.

Handsome geezer, wasn't it? Where is he now, the geezer? Don't know.

Probably snogging some other really, really fit bird.

Probably putting the cones out outside where people can park.

Where was his mum? I know they do things different,

but how could he have a wedding without his own mother there, Nancy?

What is your future? Get yourself stuck with a ponce like that.

You do know there are laws to stop people like you?

'I think I've done 300 episodes.'

I've no idea how many I've done now. It's crazy, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is crazy.

BEEP!

# ..a doctor

# I need a doctor

# Doctor

# To bring me back to life... #

The wedding day? Yeah. Tanya and Greg's.

What is it? Tanya and Greg's, do you remember? No.

LAUGHTER

Dad!

SHE SCREAMS

SHE SCREAMS

Oh! Oh, that's good.

I brought my family along to watch the car crash.

Good family day out. "Come on, kids!"

They loved it. Cheaper than the zoo.

Do you remember the first car, though? With this stunt,

they only had two cars throughout the whole day.

And then they had to do pick-up shots or whatever,

and the first car they done, and the whole top of it came off,

so they only had one car. And they had dummies in there, didn't they?

They had dummies sitting there, like...

I've only got a head scratch. Done good.

Dad, please, no! Dad! Dad!

'Oh, you are good, Lorna.'

Aw... You are good, ain't you? Oh, that was so embarrassing, though.

I remember just all those people.

Remember there's a huge estate opposite?

And people hanging off the balconies, being like that.

They had to keep shouting to them to shut up

cos they kept shouting out, "Max, Max!" "Abbey!"

It's, like, "Cut." Yeah!

# I guarantee you'll miss me

# Cos you changed the way you kiss me... #

Must be nice having no plans so you can just fiddle with junk all day.

The sun's never shining on you, Carol, is it?

Why don't you put your umbrella down sometime

and realise it's not raining.

Yeah!

David. Oh, my gosh.

I love him.

You know, there's lunch for you and Liam, you know,

if you're interested.

And, if I did stay, I'd have to return the favour.

'The first thing I said to him as he walked down the corridor,'

I said, "I'm ever so sorry, I can't talk to you,

"I've got tuna in my mouth."

All those years to say something to David Essex,

and he went, "Oh, all right." And walked off.

I can't believe I said it, I couldn't talk to him.

'I knew I was going to kiss David Essex, and I loved David Essex.'

I mean, he must know now, I've said it enough times, I didn't say when

he was here cos I didn't want to sound like a blooming stalker.

He was the first man in my bedroom.

I had him on a wall.

I had all his things, I even screamed at him at the BBC,

'and the security guards pulled me away.'

I know what it's like carrying a family.

Lifting the spirits, keeping the peace. Takes a lot out of you.

Sometimes you forget to have fun.

Yeah, well, there's not a lot of fun in my life.

There could be.

Could there? 'I did this thing to myself.'

I remember being outside and going, "Now, don't give your power away.

"When he kisses you, it'll be OK."

"Just be..." Going in and being sort of, like, "OK, what do we do?

"We just kiss?"

And, at the end of it, at the end of that, he said,

"If you like, you can kiss me for a little bit longer."

I didn't kiss him for very long, I don't think.

Look!

Yes, there could be.

Look. Watch your look as you turn away. I know, look.

He phoned me in Tesco's not long after that on my phone,

and I remember going, I wanted to say to everybody,

"It's David Essex. He's phoning me." That was just sheer joy.

I'm glad he left, though,

cos my husband was starting to get a little bit worried.

Was he? No, he wasn't.

SHE SIGHS

David Essex... Look.

# A room full of sadness

# A broken heart... #

Why have you broken up with Masood?

Because I didn't think it was

fair to him in the circumstances.

What circumstances?

I've got breast cancer, darling.

Oh, Mum... Listen, listen, I'm all right, I'm OK. I'm so sorry.

I know. Come here.

'Doing that cancer story with Carol was so painful.'

They'd have all that research, and all that stuff,

and then you have to play the moment.

And then you'd have to be in the moment to know how you may

feel or not feel.

And that... All that that she's been trying to hold together

and the person that she has to let go is when she sees you.

"HALLELUJAH" PLAYED ON GUITAR

Oh!

# It goes like this

# The fourth, the fifth

# The minor fall, the major lift

# The baffled king

# Composing Hallelujah... #

BIANCA: 'She needs someone she can depend on.'

She can depend on us. Yeah?

That makes me cry. I know. That makes me feel really emotional.

Rebecca, what's the matter, darling? Have you stopped? No.

Oh, Mum. Come here.

SHE CRIES OUT

'It's really, really hard to go home

'and not take all of that stuff with you.'

I had to try and really go, "Lindsey's well.

"This is Carol who's not well but Lindsey's good." You know.

Cos physically all your body... I mean, after something like this,

when you've cried all day, I have to say you do age a bit.

You start to have these jowls.

Pin them up.

# I'm gonna find a way to make you mine

# Don't stop doing what you're doing... #

Oh, no. Yes!

'This is one of my best days ever.'

'Look at my derby all hanging out!

'Oh, look, you've got Matt.

'All young. He had been eating broccoli for six weeks. He had.

'Yet I still nicked the scene.'

SHE LAUGHS

What's he doing? Come on, Dad! You've got it!

I can do it for you, Mick, if your bottle's gone.

'Read it, and go, OK, I get all this dark stuff

'about me being fearful of water.

'Are we really going to do a storyline about me doing a length?'

Come on, Dad, you can do this. Come on, you know you can.

SHE LAUGHS Oh, God!

I had six weeks. I could have got in shape.

And if anything, I ate more, drank more, smoked more, got hairier.

Well, I don't know how you get hairier. Can you get hairier?

Probably. You can. Yeah.

'It's weird when you're an actor and you look at yourself.'

Vanity creeps in. But you never see the back of yourself.

No, you're right. You're right, you're right.

'Here we go, here we go.

'Oh, no, dear! Dear, dear, dear! Oh!

'You're gorgeous.

First, people were taking the piss out of me on Twitter and stuff

because I was known for being a hard man

and this Football Factory stuff

and all of a sudden, I can't do a width.

And then they started to get into it a little bit and they were all

rooting for me and cheering me on when I've done a length.

'I've got to say, it's quite hard if you can swim to swim like you can't.

'To pretend that you can't swim. You've got to flap about.

'You did an excellent impression of flapping about.'

I was shattered at the end of it,

I was shattered. I'd used up so much energy.

I thought I'd have done a bit of weight, to be honest,

but I got out and I just looked fatter.

Quite cute, yeah. You hold your nose before you jump in.

I know, I know!

Was that a character thing? That was a character thing. Of course it was.

The jumping in was fine.

What wasn't fine was then having to be dried off

and jumping in again because they didn't get cameras on us.

'I wanted to be part of that family when I watched this.

'I wanted to be Linda Carter for real.

'We almost brought the Disney Channel to EastEnders!'

SHE LAUGHS

You were like a big furry seal.

That is the loveliest thing you've ever said to me! Oh, dear.

All right, baby. I thought I'd whip out... I thought I'd treat you.

Thanks! That's a bit of you, I think.

Look, you love a bit of lunch. A bit of cod. I know.

I'm just going to put my chips on my barbie, I think.

God, this is enormous.

I know! I'm talking about the fish, dear.

I'm talking about the fish.

Pizzas up. All right, we're still on EastEnders, are we?

EastEnders is on!

Oh, look at that! Right, go on.

# I don't care what they say

# I'm in love with you... #

I'm all right for a minute. You always do this!

Oh, look, here we go, DVD.

'Oh, the big one.'

Bradley! Whose writing's that? That's yours, isn't it, Lauren?

"Bradley, from Lauren." No, wait, that's not for Bradley.

It's a mistake. It's got his name on it.

Yeah, but it's wrong. I need to take it back.

Is that what I think it is? Is that the wedding video?

It's a mistake. You don't want to see it. I do, I do!

It doesn't matter what it's like. It's a lovely present.

Here you are, stick it on.

Really well-written, well directed.

The acting was a bit dodgy sometimes.

I'm talking about me, obviously.

Eurgh!

That's a nice start. 'I was watching this at home.

'Obviously I was a viewer back then.'

I was literally at the edge of my seat, like,

"This cannot be happening."

It was such good TV. It's a classic EastEnders Christmas.

It's a great honour, isn't it,

to have a Christmas story on EastEnders. Yeah.

It's part of British life, isn't it, really?

It's what everyone talks about.

"And then we'll watch EastEnders on Christmas Day."

My mum does it, we all do it. Yeah.

It's not just the sex that makes the honeymoon.

CHEERING

So awkward, isn't it, when it comes up? Yeah! So good, though.

So cringey!

Here we go. Yeah, that bit.

'Oh, penny dropped. Oh!'

Too cringey!

It's got to happen in front of the whole family as well, hasn't it?

Right, let's watch the Queen's speech.

Let's watch the rest of this later. No, that's boring!

Pass the remote please, Brad.

Brad!

It's such good TV, isn't it? Yeah! We're not talking.

I was enjoying that.

Because the stupid, crazy thing is I still love you.

I'm married now. What, you think all this is just going to go away? Yeah.

So long as you're sure you made the right choice.

As long as you're sure.

'He's been found out, hasn't he? No! Oh, dear. This is so awkward.'

That is so bad. Oh!

EASTENDERS DUFF-DUFFS Oh! Aaaah!

What's wrong? It's Billie.

Look, whatever he's done, I'll deal with it later.

Mum...

..he's dead.

He's dead.

Oh, gosh!

She was fantastic. That was very powerful.

'Jennie Darnell shot that beautifully

'and gave us the time, didn't she?'

It was so difficult to play and what I wanted to do

and Jenny and I spoke about

was that I wanted it to be like this is in a goldfish bowl.

I felt like my legs were just going to buckle and...

And Jennie, she's executed that.

And she's done it beautifully

and then that powerful shot at the door

when actually she's trying to find keys.

DOOR OPENS

And that silence when Sid opens the door

and just that powerful moment...

I'm exhausted by that. I'm exhausted thinking about it again.

That...

Where is the Carol Jackson I used to know? Please don't make me...

You can! Please don't make me!

You want to leave him on his own?

HE LEFT ME!

'The thing about any performance or doing anything

'and you know this, it's like trying to find the truth.'

You've got to know your lines inside out

so that every thought is a new thought that comes into your head.

So it's a Carol thought

so every word that you said is an authentic voice and word.

That's probably the best thing I feel I've done ever, to be honest.

SHE WAILS

Oh...

INDISTINCT CHATTER

I'll keep it brief.

Thank you, my amazing family, for throwing me this party.

'Well, this is us at our happiest moment, wasn't it,'

and it's all just...

Have you got a fork there, by the way? There's a fork, babe.

'Thanks very much.'

It means so much to have you all here.

'This was the episode... What goes wrong about it?

'I go upstairs and I say, "I want another baby." I go the other way.

'You go the other way and I get the huff with you

'and you have to make it up to me.'

Hope you have a good night and feel free to give us a song.

I thought this was your singing bit.

It's sort of a laugh and joke

and it's me walking out as Posh Spice.

This one's for you on your birthday.

'I loved my outfit.'

I loved my outfit. You did look strong there, to be fair.

# You used to be my only enemy... #

'That was when he sang, he was dreading this, wasn't he?'

# Catch me in places that I know I shouldn't be

# Every other day, I cross... #

Is this another one of my favourite days?...

It's like a whole different era

of us being here when he was here. I know!

# Back then, I didn't know why

# Why we were misunderstood... #

And, of course, the introduction of Danny boy.

He got thrown in at the deep end, to be fair. I know, I love him.

'I love my hair in this one.

'Look at me, I walked out in a Posh Spice wig.'

Look at you all! I'm trying to be Posh and all.

In fact, I wonder if Victoria Beckham had ever seen that.

I'm really good friends with Emma Bunton.

I could ask her if she saw it.

See what she made of it all

because I think I did a better Posh than her, to be honest.

# And we'll paint by numbers till something sticks... #

Oh...

Oh!

Oh, gosh!

What you doing to her, you little toe rag?

You want to knock a woman about, try me for size! Nan!

Get off me! What have you done to her?

Leave him! It ain't him!

It comes in waves. It hurts so much.

I'm dying! You're not dying, sweetheart.

You're having a baby.

Ah! You know what...

Where was your mum? Was I in Balham?

I'm not having a baby! I can't be! You're wrong!

I remember getting all the research for it

and a lovely nurse was on set with us. Oh, you did that brilliantly!

Did you win an award for that? I did.

Go on, girl. Scream the house down!

At the top of your voice, good girl!

I didn't know!

If your school had a sex education teacher, they should sack him!

It was lovely, actually,

having all the women there cos they'd just moved in.

The Slaters hadn't been there long, but it was lovely. And Mo.

Look at Mo. She was brilliant, she was so good. She is so, so...

It was really nice to have an older lady there at that time.

And then we kept that connection.

Go on, girl, push! Give it some welly!

Push! I can see the head!

SHE SCREAMS

I've never been worried about getting stuff out

and I remember they kept pulling my nightie down

and I kept saying, "No, it'd be up more."

And I know you have to be careful, but I always remember saying

that it's got to be here and sort of wetting my legs

because that's real, isn't it?

BABY CRIES

Oh, that's really powerful. That was good. It was good to do.

I always remember June turning round to me and saying,

"When you do it, darling, just pretend you're pooing out a melon."

You'll be fine.

# Unconditional

# Unconditional... #

Here, Dad.

What do you think of Whitney?

Yeah, she's nice. She's fit!

I said she could come round for Sunday lunch one weekend?

Great, yeah.

'Oh, we've gone right back.

'We have gone back, haven't we, baby?

'I loved this scene.

'I thought you were both incredible

'and actually this is when I thought you were a good actor.'

You know what Nancy was saying?

You know, about you being gay?

I just wanted to say...

..if she wasn't lying...

..that it would be OK.

His little face. I know.

'You wouldn't be upset?'

I know that being gay, it's not a choice.

'As an actor, I think I changed the perception'

there was of me as a human being,

for someone to come out to someone of what I'm meant to represent.

And you know you can tell me anything.

I just want you to know...

..you can tell me anything.

Because you're my son and you mean the world to me.

HE CRIES

You and Sam in this scene are so on the money.

I... I'm gay.

Stop it, stop it. Stop it, you're going to start me off in a minute.

It's all right. It's all right, I love you, boy. I love you.

It's so simple. Yeah. On the settee, he tells me and it's like, "And?

"So what? Come here."

I'm so proud of you because I know what you just told me.

'No-one gets murdered, no big storyline leading up to it.

'It was brilliant, it was brilliant, it was brilliant.

'So simple and that's what I thought,

'"Hold on a minute, actually, I'm proud to be in this show."'

So, you're the one we should have called Nancy.

SHE LAUGHS

It's going to be all right, all right?

OK? I promise you. Good boy.

'Oh, look!

'Oh, dear. Linda Carter, she did not cope with it well, did she?'

I love Linda Carter, but she gets it very, very wrong sometimes.

Cos I thought I was going to get a lot of, like,

from all the old-school mob, going, "What you doing, playing that?

"I can't believe..." Well, I did have a few homophobic tweets.

I absolutely assassinated them on Twitter.

I thought, "I'm not having this." Yeah, yeah.

And I think I dealt with it in the right way

cos this changed a lot of people's lives

and I still get letters to this day from...

They don't even want an autograph, which is a bit upsetting.

They just want to tell me their story

and say, "Look, thank you."

And that is better than any dough or award you could ever win.

Yeah, absolutely.

Oh...

Sonia?

# Bright eyes... # THEY LAUGH

# You make me feel better

# So let's stay together... #

This will make you laugh. Whitney saw me heading out.

She thought I was going for a date. A date?!

You're not on a date, are you?

Haha, no!

But that's good, anyway, cos I'm rubbish at all that dating. Yeah.

Talking about yourself. "Hello, I'm Billy.

"I like West Ham, watching telly,

"going down the pub and eating chips."

Yeah. "Hello, my name is Carol. I like, er..."

Don't tell anyone. I quite like Harry Potter.

So random!

Best book I've read in years!

I thought I was the only one who did that.

I used to hide it.

Did you? I don't care who knows.

I LIKE HARRY POTTER!

There's a lot of you in there. Loads of me.

You're just laughing cos you're working with Perry.

Billy, Carol, I'm just picking up Les's battered sausage.

The usual, Jo, please.

THEY LAUGH

Come on, then. Are you two on a date?

No, no, no, we're just two friends having a few drinks.

Yeah, talking about Harry Potter and The Bay City Rollers.

Do you know the story about the end of that? No.

I was so embarrassed cos I've known Perry since I was about 18

and we were embarrassed because we're just really nice friends

so the idea of kissing your friend is bizarre.

So I was really nervous and really worried.

I don't know what he was doing, but I couldn't talk to him and then...

So, just before the kiss, we were eating the sausages

and, because I was so nervous,

I literally put such a huge amount of chips in my mouth

and then I grabbed him and kissed him.

You know what? What?

Oh...

Ooh-hoo! I've known Perry too long to be kissing him.

And he went, "You've got chips in your mouth."

'I had to keep texting him, going,'

"I'm so sorry, that's such a horrible thing to do."

I can see a lot of me.

You're saying you can see Lindsey - I can see Lindsey in this.

Cos you're relaxed and not really worrying about stuff.

How do you laugh as somebody else as well?

Because my laugh is quite distinctive, isn't it,

so, if you did a different laugh, you wouldn't be true, would you?

No, you wouldn't be being true.

Ho-ho-ho-ho! Hoo-hoo-hoo!

DOOR CLOSES Oh, you made me jump!

I didn't think we had any, but I found some hiding...

Dean, what're you doing?

What do you think I'm doing?

Don't. Relax! STOP IT!

It's OK, everyone's downstairs.

No, Dean, I'm serious! Please, no!

No, no! Ssh!

It's horrible to watch that, for me and for you.

What I really remember about this episode

and filming it with Matt was how nervous he was. Yeah.

Because it was harder for him.

I really do think it was harder for him in a way, because...

Well, let's be fair,

he came into the show not knowing this was going to happen. Yeah.

This is when it all changed, wasn't it? This is when you could really...

This is horrific. But, as an actress, it's a gift for you.

Oh, yeah.... This is about you now shifting, a major shift.

I'm done with Dean, by the way.

He seemed a lot calmer. What?

'It actually made me realise'

how much being in a show like EastEnders,

how many people it reaches and what effect you can have

on people's lives just by being in a television programme

and what that can... Do you know what I mean? It's not...

We're not politicians or anything else,

but you can make a little bit of a difference and you can change

people's perceptions of things and it's very powerful.

It's one of the things I'm most proud of, this episode.

Get it off.

# Don't stop moving

# Keep it up... #

Sonia Jackson! CHEERING

# Do you, do you, do you Do you feel the power? #

I was 12. Natalie, look!

I couldn't do that now, isn't it funny?

'You've no fear, have you, when you're younger?

'You've always been such a confident actress.'

When you were first here, I would always say this to you,

you would literally say to the director,

they'd say, "Any more questions?"

And you'd go, "Yes, I have a question." We'd all go, "Oh!"

And you always had a question and you would ask the right question.

I was always very confident.

I still am quite confident.

Your daughter is as well.

It could be related, couldn't it? It could be.

# I'll tell you straight up... #

Oh, look, me!

I think now, that would make me nervous now,

doing something like that.

So, how was it to be that young and to be

where you are now in terms of...? You just...

I see it as two sides to every coin, but, for me, it's just my job.

Yeah. And I've never been desperate for it.

I was just fortunate and it happened.

To me, it's just like being a banker

or being a plumber and I just did it.

You did, but you didn't just do it.

I have to say, being an adult and watching it,

you did actually have a method and a craft

and you were interested in the craft so you didn't just show up.

No, I was passionate about it.

Once I got it, then I grabbed it with both hands

and really enjoyed it.

# ..I picked myself off the floor... #

My God, you're a great mover!

Excuse me, Labour? Just round to the left.

I'm a hero in this. You ARE a hero. Hero.

Let's find that baby's heartbeat.

I've given birth before, but it was slightly comedy. This was proper.

Where is she? She's in there.

I remember you took your contacts out and everything. I did.

'You were blind. I had to have my glasses on in between.'

I'm Nick, I'm going to be the baby's father.

You couldn't see that was me.

She thought that was Phil, didn't you? Stop it!

I'm sorry! No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry!

'I remember really looking forward to this.'

How can you look forward to this?! I was!

I was like, "Yeah, I can't wait to get my teeth into that."

And you BLEEP did, didn't you?

Look at your legs up in the air.

Well, you can't give birth with your legs crossed.

Some actresses would go, "I'm sorry, I'm not going to open my legs.

"And could somebody put some base on me, some make-up?

"And I refuse to sweat."

'You're just like, "Right, whack my hair up," as you would do.'

Babe, you're beautiful. Look at me.

'I take control of the situation as I come in the room. Yeah.'

Most women would go, "What have you done to me?!"

Ready? On the next one, on the next one. Push.

'You had smoke coming out of your ear hole.'

So many women wanted me to be their birthing partners after this.

Stop it! They did, yeah.

This is a new start for me and you, baby, I promise you.

I promise you, OK? Now, give us a life. Here we go.

We'll start a new little life, baby.

LINDA SCREAMS IN PAIN

It actually takes me right back to when I gave birth, for real!

It does a weird thing to me.

Look at the vein sticking out of your nut, baby.

They could hear you in Soho!

I mean, it was just echoing everywhere!

This is what I love. You're a proper actor, you,

you don't give a BLEEP.

'And here we go. Here we go with the baby that's not a real baby.

'You've got to pretend it's a baby.'

Oh, baby boy!

'Little prosthetic thing which you weren't allowed to touch,

'either, cos it was so much dough. Look at that!

'It doesn't look that real, there, does it?'

No, not really. But no, it's beautifully played, you know?

I think if you go there, you go, "This is proper giving birth."

Watch his little nut.

'I've never been involved in a scene like this.'

I don't fancy getting involved in it again.

# No drama

# No more drama in my life... #

Sonia!

What I give you is... Becky!

Sonia! Put her down, love.

You heard the man. I'm calling the police.

Is that the baby you had when you were 15, then?

Yeah, and I gave it away. Oh, you gave it away.

And I found out where the parents were. So they adopted her.

Yeah, and I stole her back cos I wanted her back.

You can't take her!

You can't! You can't take her away from me! You can't take...

What a brilliant storyline! Yeah.

Sonia?

One of my favourite episodes - it's just me and June.

Oh, it's just you and June.

Sonia?!

'It's so lovely watching Sonia again.

'She's young and she's struggling without her other family.'

She's got a nice relationship with Dot.

What have you done? What do you mean?

What have you done with Chloe? Chloe?

I don't know what you mean. Where is she?

I don't know what you're talking about! Don't lie to me!

June came to my house for two nights or so.

Did she, to work that through?

We were drinking red wine and going through our lines.

You weren't, you were 16 at the time. I was 24 at the time.

Oh, that's right. I may have had a glass of Ribena.

Bad influence on June.

They told me you went round there and you took her.

Well, I didn't, all right?

I went round there and this nanny was there

and she was acting weird with me

and she wouldn't let me in so I came home.

Oh, you came home? Yes, I was upset. I went to bed.

So, why was the door locked? I don't know.

I must have locked it on the way in. They told me that you took her.

They're wrong. Why don't you get out there and you explain? What's that?

'I remember one thing I'll never forget was when she said to me,'

"When you've got paragraphs and a lot of dialogue to do, see it as a song."

Right, yeah.

And always look at the melody and how you're saying it

and look at the tones in it.

She's fantastic, isn't she? I will never forget that.

I've told you, she's not here! Where is she?

She's upstairs. What's she doing up there?

I'm going, "Well, where was Carol during all that stuff?

"What was she doing?" That's how I felt with Billie

when I saw that happen.

If you haven't got the actor and they're not here,

you have to carry on playing it. It's so lovely, I...

So, do you promise me in the future

if there's something really important, you'll think about it?

When I'm 75, it will be great.

# Why do all good things come to an end? #

Poor Rolf! Mum, can you give him the kiss of life?

You can't give him the kiss of life. He's all cold and stiff.

All right, don't rub it in.

I want to give him a funeral. OK.

I need a coffin, rose petals...

Oh, Rolf! The best gerbil ever.

I'm so bad!

SHE LAUGHS

This is my favourite episode of all time.

Rolf's gone to gerbil heaven.

Yeah, I heard. Condolences.

I'm grief-stricken. Broken-hearted.

THEY LAUGH

Put a plant pot on top of it.

The foxes will dig it up, else. OK, yeah.

Yeah, I didn't think of that.

Thanks.

And now we're going to sing.

No, we're not.

# Bright eyes... #

THEY LAUGH

# Burning like fire

# Bright eyes

# How can you close and fail? #

My hands have gone so clammy!

Oh! I know!

I had to learn that. How embarrassing!

I remember sitting there on Sunday and being like...

# Aaaah-aaah... #

..learning it off a CD player.

How old are you? Ten. Aw!

You ten there, yeah? Yeah. Cute.

I'd hate scenes like this because you would then have to go to school

and everyone would have watched it. And everyone would just...

They must have said things, someone behind you at school.

Just singing it down the corridor!

# Burning like... #

# I've been working on a cocktail called Grounds For Divorce

# Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh, do you remember this? I don't remember this.

"No, I don't, I wasn't there!"

Come on, help me out here.

'No, this is silly.'

"Tanya, you're such a good mum." Oh, yeah!

But she buried her husband alive.

She was getting her own back, wasn't she? I suppose my Max had sort of...

Yeah, but there's a line, isn't there? You just move on.

You don't bury them alive.

Yeah, some would argue he deserved it, wouldn't they, really?

How long did it take to film it all?

We were there three nights or something. Three nights?

There were press running around trying to get photos of us.

What, while you were lying in a coffin? Yeah, yeah.

How did that feel? It was all right, it was fine.

I don't think I'd like that. We had one day in the studio,

two prop guys sitting on it cos I was trying to bang my way out of it.

That was weird. Was that scary? It was all right,

but then one of the props guys said he was freaking out.

He got a bit scared. Did he?

What, he got scared that you couldn't...?

No, cos I was shouting and screaming, yeah.

He was sitting on this coffin.

PHONE RINGS

"Hi, this is the Brannings..." Oh, that's probably your mum.

Pick up, please! Hi, Dad, you won't believe what's happened.

And I've got you a present! Tell him about my ankle!

BEEPING He's hung up!

Oh, Abi! What an idiot! Come on, Abi! "Abi, shut up!"

"I'm buried alive!"

Is this where she digs him up? Is she trying to get him up?

He's all right. Oh, that's a bit freaky. I don't know if I like this.

The best thing about all of this stuff

was it was meant to be raining in all these eps,

but when they turned the rain machine on,

cos it was in the woods, it was too noisy.

So I was like, "Haha!"

All I wanted was a fresh start. I can't even have that, can I?

'I don't know if these episodes crossed the line or not.'

I think the cheekiest thing they did was he got buried on Good Friday

and he got dug up on Monday.

THEY LAUGH

You're joking!

No, so, yeah, it doesn't surprise me,

but they upheld a few complaints.

They were great episodes to film, yeah.

I think they worked out well. I'd like to do that, though.

It looks fun. What, bury someone? Yeah, looks fun to film. Yeah.

You'd be good, actually, burying someone.

HE LAUGHS

# Why does it always rain on me? #

Look at me. I'm pregnant, nearly 40. I'm supposed to be getting married.

It's all such a mess.

I'm really sorry, Mum, I didn't mean to hurt you.

So, why didn't you talk to me?

I couldn't.

After that first kiss, I told him nothing could happen,

but he just kept on. All right, all right, it doesn't matter.

And then he arranged for me to see the flat.

I didn't want to go, but Ricky told me that I should. Really?

And then we were there and there was no-one else about.

No-one around. Nothing could stop us.

I couldn't help myself. I'm so sorry!

Can you ever forgive me?

Look at my eyes! It's great.

She's going to hit you!

'We worked really well together,

'me and Patsy, at that point. Yeah, you did.'

You didn't know, did you?

He didn't tell you. Mum, please, I thought you knew!

Just the idea that your daughter is sleeping with your fiance

and when I watch that, I can feel the feeling that I felt.

I felt so angry and I was so in that zone

and I could have absolutely ripped her head off,

which I think you can probably see here.

I want to talk to you! What could you possibly say? I could explain.

Well, go on, then, let's hear it.

Mum... You should start by telling me

what a dirty, lying little slag you are.

Is that too close to the bone for you?

What's going on? Stay out of this, Sonia. I'm sorry.

It was nothing, nothing at all!

You stay away from me!

It was so horrible. We hit each other all the time.

You certainly would, wouldn't you, finding that out?

Calm down. You've got a baby to think about.

I've asked you to leave again and again. Why won't you listen to me?

Because you don't mean it. You want to hear what I've got to say.

No, I don't! I don't want to hear you,

I don't want to see your smug face!

Now, go away!

He was, like, he was really hard.

Oh, my gosh!

I look like some mechanical little being when I'm trying to...

Look how big he is. My head was as big as his arms.

He was such a big man.

He could have held me up

like I'd been on one of those little animatronic things, legs moving.

You got the message now?

# Not giving in... #

..make his own sandwiches!

'Strutting around in that red coat.'

How long have you known me?

Oh, here we go!

Exactly six years and I've never lied to you, not once.

But you see me with another guy

and the first thought in your head is that I'm a cheat.

The first thought?

She's such a naggy girlfriend. I know.

For six years, Jay, I've been your friend - through police,

prison, and you're so moody.

My parents hate you,

but I didn't mind because I thought you were special.

I thought you were a good person.

'"Don't laugh at me!

"Don't laugh at me with your mates!" Girl power! Yeah, girl power!

Stop smiling! I was there for you.

All this stuff with Ben, I was there.

How do you repay me, by calling me a cheat? All right.

No, it's not all right. I am NOT a cheat.

Oh, no, you love Tamwar.

I am a good person with a good heart and I love you.

But if you can't see it, that's your problem,

but you do NOT take it out on me.

I am sick of everyone taking everything out on me.

I am sick of it!

'Good scene, that, isn't it?

'I remember everyone was banging on about how good that was.

'It just goes on and on and on and on.'

I think this was actually the change.

Actually, yeah, this was the start of it.

I would have been about 15, I think, yeah.

The first time I'd ever really got like, well, not lines,

but, like, a big monologue in front of everyone.

Yeah, cos Abbie had always been quiet and quite sort of...

Yeah. She never said boo to a goose, did she? Ding-dong! "I'll get it!"

# So I'll go before I fall to pieces... #

I love my family. I just live for my family, that's all.

They're all I had. And that's the problem, isn't it, Pauline?

They have had to carry the whole weight

and Martin is the only one left to do it now.

She's very glam, old Sonia there, what's happened?

And why shouldn't he? He's my son, he should look up to me.

It was nice, working with Wendy.

It was sometimes difficult but she just did what she did

and you had to sort of work around that.

I always found that quite a challenge,

but I think we worked quite well together, looking back at it.

I remember, God rest her soul, and I remember going to her house.

I used to stay there and we used to have a curry or whatever

and we used to run our lines in our pyjamas

and I actually remember those lines and sitting at Wendy's doing those.

Why do you hate me so much?

Because he's not safe with you.

He can't trust you.

You're full of your highfalutin ideas, your career, your job,

modern woman, always out and about. Everything's always about you.

That's what you can't stand, isn't it?

The fact I've got a life outside.

I've got something I can call my own apart from my child.

That's right because it's selfish. It's all wrong!

And I'm in your way, aren't I? He's my son!

And you can't share him like a normal mother? No, I can't!

Well, that's just sick! Sick? Not as sick as you are.

Daughter of a scrubber,

lesbian, underage mother who gave away her own baby?

SHE GASPS

That's a very powerful, strong piece of work there.

It's lovely seeing Sonia like that.

Carol and Sonia, we're quite hitters, aren't we?

Yeah! Got a right hook!

# Take me to church

# I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies... #

There ain't a great tradition of after-dinner speaking

in the Carter clan.

'Merry Christmas! Oh, dear.'

I may not get another chance.

'That's a year ago.'

I know, I know it is, Dan. BLEEP!

..a good husband. Treat her like a queen.

I mean, I think this is up there

with one of the best Christmas eps.

I think this is a real dark proper EastEnders Christmas, isn't it?

It was. It was brilliant.

Mick. Mick. Mick.

Oh, here she is.

'I'm reacting to the rape thing, the mother thing.

'Yeah, I know, you just found out. The brother thing.'

Not now. It's important.

'Stan not being my dad.'

Please, Mick, outside.

'All in one go.'

..cos you don't want him to hear what I've got to say.

You want to keep him close! Oh, it's Dean. Just in time for coffee.

You need to tell him the truth.

Stay outside!

Are you deaf? Mick...

She said stay out. Mick, she is lying to you!

We're sitting down cos it's about the big stunt.

What we're gonna do, what are you going to do to him and all that.

They turned down everything I wanted to do to him.

I really wanted to nut him and I was only allowed three punches

and that was winding me up.

She's lying to you. Look at me. Look at me! She's been lying to you...

That's when I wanted to nut him, there.

Wanted to just give him a little cheeky nut, even a double nut. Yeah.

Like a boom-boom!

Mick, no!

We had a rubber table, rubber chair...

I know, bless him.

And the table was cracked in the middle, wasn't it,

so I had to throw him on a certain part.

Mick, you're killing him!

Please stop!

To be fair, I think he gets off quite lightly.

HE'S YOUR BROTHER!

Dean is your brother.

I think we couldn't have done any better, to be honest with you.

# To make me feel this way

# What a wicked thing to do... #

No, no! What's this?

SHE GASPS AND LAUGHS

Who are you?

'Night shoots. I love night shoots.

'It feels different when you do a night shoot, doesn't it?'

What do you want?

I look so good as a cat, it's a joke.

Just putting it out there. I look so good as a weeping angel, so...

Unbelievable!

'Is that Abi in the mask? Wait for it, wait for it!'

THEY LAUGH

We couldn't do that scene, could we?

Seriously, this was probably the hardest scene

I've ever done, this scene. In my life.

It actually was. What, cos of laughing?

We just couldn't cope.

But, at the time, I had to pull up my cloak

cos I was too short for it. She was just like...

It was so funny.

Oh, nothing is ever your fault, is it?

I mean, drinking yourself stupid, running over Dad,

telling Mum about his affair.

It always has to be so difficult with you, doesn't it?

You were always left this poor little victim and look at me!

My life is worse than before!

'This was a good scene, though.

'I really enjoyed it, actually. When we read it, we were like, "What?"'

John Howlett directed it and he kept being like,

"I promise you, it will look fine." And we couldn't stop laughing.

We were like, "I just can't see it." I remember reading it. It was weird,

she just suddenly snaps and tries to drown her.

It was a bit strange. But, no, it works well. Yeah, it does work.

You never take me seriously.

Why don't you just shut up?

who could be a murderer...

ABI SHOUTS

THEY LAUGH

Remember that? The whole table went over and it wasn't meant to.

SHE GASPS FOR BREATH

You were pregnant at the time, do you remember? Yeah.

How many people had to come on set for the stunt?

Oh, my God, it was a joke. What, cos you were pregnant?

You don't want to put your head

in a bowl of water when you're pregnant. I know.

And, on one of them, I accidentally hit your nose.

I felt it hit the table and I was like, "Oh, no!

"Have I hurt anything?"

'My friend's birthday was straight after this

'and I didn't have enough time so I went as a cat.

'Did anyone recognise you?'

No, it was dark and they were all really drunk and like,

"Why are you a cat?" I was just like, "Hey!"

It's a new thing I'm trying. Yeah! I quite liked it, I liked being a cat.

I even took a little pic in my dressing room.

# You only get one shot

# So make it count

# You might never get this moment again... #

Bradley!

Oh! Here we go, look.

I can't believe that's five years ago.

I've got goose bumps.

'I was so nervous watching it.

'I think everyone watching it as a viewer must have been.'

"What if something goes wrong?

"If something goes wrong, this could ruin everything.

"If something goes wrong, that's it."

Stace!

Stace, run!

Oh, that's so sad! Bradley!

That was Charlie Clements' last scene, do you remember?

Bradley! Bradley!

Bradley!

HE CRIES

THEY LAUGH

In the script, it had Max being sick

so I think we talked about putting chicken soup

in your mouth or something, but they couldn't find a gap to do it.

I'd been doing that all week,

sticking my fingers down my throat and I don't think they'd seen it.

I think they caught it on that.

Oh, they should have cut quicker. I think so, yeah.

It's all right, all part of the joy.

It's definitely one of the best episodes.

I think this works, this little wobble. Yeah, I do.

Quite good, even with the camera going a bit...

Yeah, I like that. It adds to it.

But I think if it's perfect,

people don't know they're watching a live episode. Yeah.

Bradley didn't do it!

He didn't do it! I know he didn't do it. It was me.

I did it.

I killed Archie.

Me and Lacey found out half an hour before we went live with it. Really?

We got a knock on the door, yeah. That's so scary.

Did you rehearse all different endings?

We had nine or ten different endings or something like that.

One which I knew it wasn't going to be

was Billy Mitchell in his underpants.

What, being like, "I killed Archie"?

Yeah, he comes down the Vic in his underpants and says,

"I killed Archie"! I went, "No, it's not him."

What were you more nervous for - Strictly or this live?

Strictly. Really?

Yeah, at least I'm doing a job I know what I'm half-doing there.

To be honest, by the time we got to the lives this year,

it was just a doddle.

Once you do something like Strictly, it's like...

That's just, yeah, a walk in the park. Yeah.

# We could be heroes

# We could be heroes... #

Peggy! Oh, I was so jealous of this scene.

She is the guv'nor. So, to do a scene with her, it goes two ways -

either you melt or you go, "I'm going to show off."

Can I help you?

Oh, no, thanks, no, no.

I'm not stopping.

It's just, er, this is my boozer.

Oh! So, YOU'RE Mick Carter.

The one and only. And you are?

Well, let's just say, me and her, we go back a long way.

'She was quite nervous.'

It helped me showing off a little bit

because I think if she'd been really overconfident,

I might have gone, "Oh, hold on a minute.

"Maybe I'm not ready to be in front of Peggy."

Well, if you're not buying, you might as well shoot off.

I beg your pardon?

She was the one, apparently, who called it on.

She wanted me to say, "Get out of my pub!"

And I thought, "How am I going to do it? I can't do it like her."

You heard me. Get out of my pub.

'You did it so tongue in cheek, it was brilliant.'

You want to watch that pump on the right. It sticks a bit.

She is the most iconic person, I feel, from the show.

# We could be heroes Me and you... #

To icons. Yes, to icons!

Two icons. Mmm!

Clever BLEEP!

# Broken pieces

# You pick them up

# Don't leave me hanging, hanging... #

What's this? Ohhhh! SHE GASPS

This was the whole live ep, wasn't it?

Oh, yes. This was the one.

Just before this bit here,

I have to wait seven minutes outside that door.

'However it goes down,

'I've got to walk in that boozer and deal with it.

'Look around - I feel there is that live thing going on

'if you look at the faces of the other people.'

Mick? Are you all right?

You're shaking.

'You're meant to be quite nervy in this, anyway.

I'm meant to be nervy cos I think I've just killed someone. Yes.

Bring it all together with the live, it works beautifully.

The thing is there's something... No, wait.

To be fair, we rehearsed the BLEEP out of this.

We did rehearse it a lot, dear, yes.

I've loved you since I was a little girl.

And I want you to be my husband.

Marry me.

Ohhh!

Not here, L, not now. I enjoyed the live, I enjoyed being part of it.

No, no. I wouldn't want to do it again. No more. I can't be bothered.

I'm too lazy.

What's the matter with me?

Of course I'll marry you!

I'm wondering where we go next, baby. I know, I know!

So that's two years. It'll be the affair.

That's the last two years.

No, it will never be an affair. I don't think it should be.

There'll be stuff that tests us, I don't doubt that.

Well, we've just got married, haven't we?

Oh, we HAVE! Yeah!

# Let the music play

# He won't get away... #

That was nice, wasn't it?

SONIA BLOWS SOME NOTES

Awww!

I loved that bridesmaid dress.

THEY LAUGH

You never could play it, could you? No.

Time to go, Sonia, thanks, darling.

Sonia, enough!

Aww! Nice little family, weren't we?

When did they tell you you were going to play a trumpet, then?

I don't really remember.

I just came into it and I remember a teacher coming over

and showing me how to do it. You had a teacher?

Showing me how to play the notes, but they always wanted it bad.

Natalie, would you like to have a look behind the sofa?