13/02/2012 EastEnders

You, all right?

-Eat that bit, then.

-D'you remember when this place was a bloke zone?

Now it's just full of sparkly head bands.

Don't listen to Aunty Shirley. She loves having us here, doesn't she?

I was thinking I might take her round to Jack's later,

-let him see her for half an hour.

-Bad call.

He is her dad.

Look, don't start feeling sorry for that snake.

He's the one that did the dirty on you by forging Amy's passport.

Awww, is that a heart?

Yes, and...?

SHIRLEY CHUCKLES

Come on, eat your toast. Good girl.

Mmm!

-See you later.

-See you.

Er, tomorrow night.

Yeah?

-Get a babysitter for George.

-Why?

No reason.

What's that, babe?

It's the appointment for my scan.

Come here, come here.

I'm fine.

Oh, hello, Mum.

Sleep well, did you girls?

-Is that one of my shirts?

-Yeah, Lauren said I could borrow it

cos I forgot my PJs

and she didn't want to risk seeing me naked in case I turned her.

Not likely.

Er, I think she's kidding, Nan.

I'll wash it if you like?

No, you're fine.

-You going to see Phil?

-Yeah.

Tell him I said hi, yeah.

Not thinking of doing anything, are you? While I'm gone.

Like what?

Jack.

Shirl, come on!

Look, I'm so fed up of all this feuding business.

We won, yeah. Is that not enough?

You won for a reason, Rox, he's not fit to be her dad.

We both know that's not true, don't we?

You know what? You go and see Phil,

tell him we got one over on the Brannings

if it'll give him a nice warm fuzzy feeling

but I've got to think about my Amy.

She needs her dad in her life.

She's got us now, Rox.

Me, you and Phil.

Page five, there's some ever so pretty petticoats.

I'm sure they're lovely, Dot,

but she needs a bit of an uplift. Here, check that one out.

We don't want you barging in with your ungodly notions!

Heather and me has got a system going.

Well, I just want to prove to my prospective daughter-in-law

that I'm really sorry, I'm REALLY sorry about last week

and I'm on board for the wedding.

-Thank you, Mrs Cotton, very thoughtful.

-She ain't Cotton,

that's my Charlie, she's a bigamist.

Heather don't want to go up the aisle looking like some trussed up old bird.

Heather is more demure.

Hev, demure? Who'd have thought?

Shirl, d'you want to join us.

We're making some very important decisions about the wedding.

No, I'm going to go see Phil.

I've booked Mr Bishop for his organ.

I mean, he don't usually do weddings but as a favour to me.

And the choir boys.

It's not St Paul's Cathedral, Dot. I mean, choir boys? Please!

-Have you thought about karaoke?

-Hev, I'll meet you down the pub later.

-Yeah, that'd be nice.

-Darling, have you thought about the karaoke?

There's more important things than karaoke.

Have you decided who you want to give you away?

Just need to find the right time to ask.

-Why'd you always have to go to work?

-Why'd you always have to eat?

Come on, Tiff. We can have a laugh, can't we?

D'you think she's really going to the cafe?

She better be.

I'm not looking after you lot so she can swan off on a jolly.

Come on.

Come on, darling.

Jack.

You all right?

Yeah. I'm fine.

Really?

Yeah, get my mornings back, don't I?

Get to be selfish again.

What are you doing for the big V day tomorrow night?

Romantic dinner for two?

I dunno.

We ain't decided yet, have we, Tan?

Er, can you stop quizzing my parents on their love lives, please.

Right, we're off. See you later.

Dinner'll be on the table by seven. If you see your sister?

-Yeah, will do. See you later.

-Thanks for having me, Tanya.

-Pleasure.

-See you later.

Right, going to make a move.

See you later.

What?

Nothing.

Oh, bruv, how you holding up, man?

Oh, man, all right. What about you?

-Bit shaky!

-We was up all night playing Rage.

Let me tell you, this fella is a legend at juggling weapons.

HE MAKES GUN NOISES

You're killing me, man.

-Sweet.

-Yeah. FIFA tonight?

-Tottenham versus the O's. Let's do it!

Obviously!

Are you serious?

Take it up with the boss, she's outside.

Janine? Tomorrow night's cancelled?

I hate to break the hearts of the local tweens,

it hurts my wallet just as much, believe me, but it can't be helped. DJ's cancelled.

Well, Fats is a DJ.

-And he did a really good gig in Farringdon last week.

-Yeah.

-Ooh(!)

-Oh, Janine, don't be such a grump, give him a go.

Do I tell you how to pour coffee?

-Oh, come on, he's WELL good.

-Yeah, come on, Janine, man.

I swear down, I spin the choons like Rapunzel spins gold, sweetheart.

OK, well, you should stick to your fairy tales because I run a professional establishment.

Thought you were a family man, Jack. Had your priorities straight.

Yeah, well I do.

That's why I'll make the most of my time with Amy when I see her.

Yeah, what, every other weekend?

-She'll forget who you are.

-Oi, one weeknight as well.

Disappointed, very disappointed. I thought you had more spirit than that.

What am I supposed to do? Let it turn uglier?

-She's Amy's mum.

-Not that you'd know it.

-Come on, ain't fair, is it?

-Not fair? Not fair?

She's already fobbed poor Amy off on some stranger!

-You what?

-I seen her.

Probably gone back to bed to paint her nails.

You sure?

It's hard to miss that peroxide...

Well, Jack, look...

if you're happy letting a woman like that bring up your daughter that's your call, mate.

It's your call.

OK, right, let's try another one. Let's spell...banana.

-It's half term!

-So?

You're not supposed to spell at half term.

He's right, it's practically child abuse.

Is it indeed?

Do you want us to report you to social services?

Yeah, and do you want me to report you to the fib police?

They don't exist, so you can't.

All right, so what do you want to do?

And don't you dare say, "Go and watch TV".

Play video games!

Go on then. Fine.

(Yes!)

Don't you want to play?

Can we go and see mum at the Cafe?

We can't, sweetheart. She'll be too busy.

I love your company too, Tiff!

Roxy?

Open this door!

Roxy!

OK, I tell you what, you go and play in there, yeah?

Go and watch telly, go on. Good girl.

Roxy!

-Where is she?

-You need to calm down.

-All right, where is my daughter?

-She's here, with me.

-You liar!

This is not on, OK.

-You let me in.

-What the hell?

What, d'you think you can palm her off on some stranger, do you?

I don't know what you're talking about cos she's in here with me!

-Let me see her then!

-No! You'll frighten her, go away.

-Roxy!

-Oi! what d'you think you're doing?

She won't tell me where Amy is!

She's there, mate.

Max, do me a favour, sort your brother out, yeah?

-I thought you'd given her to someone.

-That is the kind of mother you think I am, is it?

You think I'd palm her off on someone the minute I get her back?

Now you know the deal, all right? You see her when the court agrees.

Would it hurt you to let him see his daughter?

Would it have hurt you to keep an eye on your brother?

Shirley Carter to see Phil Mitchell.

Told you the last three times you rocked up here,

he doesn't want to see you.

Yeah, well, he has to, I've got news for him.

Have you tried writing a letter?

Look, please, can you just tell him that I'm here?

Tell him that Shirley's got news. Good news about his niece, Amy.

-Please, just tell him!

-Take the hint, love.

Janine don't know what she's talking about.

Well, you know what, she's actually done us a favour.

I'm s'posed to be wining and dining you all day, Valentine's Day.

-Yeah, but you'd smash it up there.

-You think so?

Yeah. Wouldn't it be good?

Him up there DJing in front of a proper crowd.

See, Whitney could've been your super fan, bopping next to you and stuff!

Yeah, and I bet every girl in that club would be sick with envy.

-Sick with something.

-You can't keep The Fats down. I'll go and see Janine.

I'm going to go have round two. Ding-ding, it's on, let's do this!

-Go on, Fats!

-Go on, babe.

The point is, Rose,

if you'd been listening to a word I've been saying all morning,

that Heather ain't partial to lilac as a colour scheme.

I don't think Heather has actually mentioned colours.

-Have you?

-Is everything all right, ladies?

Oh, can I have a word, please, Mr Trueman?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Don't be too long, Heather

cos we've got a lot to get through.

We've...known each other a long time, haven't we?

Hmm.

And we've been through a lot together.

I mean, you were there at George's birth and...

well, I mean you've always been there for me, haven't you?

I mean, always...

SHE HYPERVENTILATES

Heather, what's wrong?

Oh, I can't!

Is it your asthma? Do you have your inhaler with you?

Come on, is there anything I can do? What's wrong?

Give me away?

At my wedding, I mean.

I know what you mean.

Mr Trueman?

I'd be honoured, Heather.

I know, all right. I know.

What do you know?

You know you're an idiot?

If you carry on acting like that you risk not being part of Amy's life?

Oi, you sit there, all right?

You wait till your brain's caught up with your fists.

I just feel so...

-What, powerless?

-Yeah.

-Get over it.

-Get OVER it?

What, get over the fact that someone who don't know me from Adam

gets to decide when and for how long I see my daughter?

That I switch into dad mode every other weekend,

-a week night if I'm lucky?

-Yu are lucky.

You're very lucky because one, at the moment Roxy still thinks you're a good bloke

and two, you live across the road from Amy.

Play your cards right, you could be as much a part of her life as before.

That's not bad going for separated parents.

Who would have thought that Max Branning, of all people, would've got it sussed.

Come on then, what's your secret?

what's the key to becoming Mr Familyman, eh? How'd it come so good?

It didn't.

What?

-Is it Tan? The cancer?

-Nah, it's not...

She's got another scan next week but, nah, it's not that.

She just, you know, won't let me near her.

Max, look, she's had a rough time of it, ain't she?

-See, it feels like you're judging me for even thinking that way.

-No!

I'm just saying... it's probably natural, innit?

These things, they take time. You just gotta be patient.

I'm not saying that the sex is the only thing, cos it ain't,

you know, not by a long way but you know me and Tanya, we've always had this...

this heat.

Without it it's like none of the other stuff works.

So, what's she say?

-Dunno, ain't talked to her about it, have I?

-Why not?

How am I s'posed to do that without making it seem like I'm trying to pressurise her into bed?

Which I ain't.

Any time I show her some affection she thinks I'm trying to jump her.

All I gotta do is make eye contact and she gets all defensive.

It's like everything she does is a coded message, you know?

For, "I'm not ready to have sex,"

and I know that and I'm fine with it.

I just want to be able to give her a cuddle.

That Lucy Beale's a right little madam.

Oh, she's fine.

Bit up herself but life'll knock that out of her one way or another.

-That what happened to you?

-What?

Don't "what" me, my girl.

I'm fine, Mum.

I'm just a bit nervous, you know, about the scan results,

-that's natural after everything.

-I'm not talking about that.

-What are you talking about then?

-You want me to spell it out for you?

If you're about to start on about how I've been letting myself go again,

-don't bother cos I haven't got time, I've got to get to the salon.

-Put those down.

If it's that bad, Mum, maybe you shouldn't say it.

Believe me...I wish I had a choice.

You're scared you're going to die, I know that,

but you're also scared you're going to live

and never feel like a woman again.

Like the woman you always were.

You're scared your relationship is only based on sex.

You're scared he's going to lose interest.

You're scared that if you let him touch you,

you won't be able to pretend nothing's changed.

(What do I do, Mum?)

OK, right, look.

I ain't going anywhere until you hear me out.

-And why should I do that?

-Because I'm good.

OK, I'm not saying I'm the best, but you know, Whit reckons I've got something,

if you'd heard the things she was saying, yeah?

Like, if I'm DJing she'd be the luckiest girl in the club

-and I love her, so I want to do that...

-OK, stop.

You're reaching dangerously high levels of sentimentality

and I will not be held responsible for my actions.

OK, fine.

You can DJ tomorrow night

but I'm not paying you and this is not a regular thing.

And if anybody asks you how you persuaded me,

then I would leave out the bit about declaring your love for Whit.

-For both of our sakes.

-OK, cool.

And Fatboy...

..it's really not cool to be too keen.

HE CACKLES That's not very cool either.

So, he's a he and... Do I know him?

-Yep.

-Do I like him?

-You lurve him!

Fat Boy?

You cheater!

Wind up merchants.

-My go!

-Go on, Tiff.

Is he a man?

-Yep.

-A grown-up man?

Er...

..do I know him?

Yeah.

-Erm...Is he family?

-He is to me!

I don't want to play any more.

What? But it's my turn.

What you doing hiding round here?

We've got Heather over there, talking weddings!

-Are you upsetting her?

-Upsetting her? Spoiling, more like.

-You better not be taking over.

-She's lucky to have me adding a bit of style.

What you saying about Heather?

Nothing...but you've either got it or you haven't.

Unbelievable!

Sorry, is my mother being a bit much?

No, she's being, erm, being...great!

Ha-ha! Very diplomatic.

No, honestly.

Thought I'd cook for us later.

All right if I grab your keys so I can make a start?

Yeah, yeah.

I love you, have I told you that?

-How's Phil?

-Now that my half-sister is out of the way,

would you reconsider Lord of All Hopefulness?

I might not be able to hear what you're saying, Dorothy Branning,

but I know what you're up to!

Thought me and you were s'posed to be having a drink?

But, Heather, she's very busy here.

I mean, she's getting on with the crucial decisions.

Heather, I tell you, I just can't stop smiling.

Ah, me neither, Mr Trueman.

Tell you, I don't know whether to stand on your right, or your left?

-I don't want to look a fool in front of the vicar and everybody!

-He's giving you away?

-It's perfect ain't it, Shirl?

-Yeah, subtle, Hev, very subtle.

-What?

-Well, you've clearly decided what mates you want around you to help you with your big day,

so I'll just get out your hair.

-She's supposed to be my maid of honour.

-But have you asked her?

I was watching that.

Didn't know that you were interested in business?

-Something's not been right all day, Tiff. Are you going to tell me what it is?

-Just bored.

Are you sure it's not to do with Morgan's dad?

Just cos he's around doesn't mean Morgan's not your brother any more.

-I know that.

-All right, so what is it? Has Ray said something to you?

Is he going to be Mum's new boyfriend?

No. What gave you that idea?

They were hugging last week.

Hugging?

I don't want everything to change again. Everything's always changing.

No. Come here, sweetheart. No, nothing's going to change.

You going to help me? Put them in, good girl.

You helping Mummy?

-Roxy, I'm sorry.

-It's all right, me and Amy are just going.

-Please, don't run off.

-Leave us alone, yeah.

I really am sorry, all right?

What I said earlier was completely out of order.

You've got a right to be angry.

Do you know what, yeah? D'you know what hurts the most?

-Being called a bad mother.

-Yeah, well, you're not, are you?

Clearly.

I was stupid, all right?

-I heard something and it wound me up, that's all.

-Someone's been bad mouthing me?

I'll take a wild stab in the dark, let me guess.

You're related?

Come on, you know what things are like.

Things have just got so twisted recently.

It feels like it's not even about Amy any...

Do you know what the stupid thing is, Jack?

I was about to bring her to see you. I thought you'd be missing her.

I am.

Can't we just go back to how it was before, forget this ever happened?

I don't know, Jack.

I think we should just stick to what the court said, all right?

-So, will you be my maid of honour?

-I don't want your pity role.

It's not a pity role, Shirl. I've been wanting to ask you all along,

it's just I've been waiting for the right time

cos Mrs Branning and Mrs Cotton, they've been bossing me about and...

So, will you?

If I don't have to wear a dodgy outfit?

I promise!

So, you haven't told me how Phil is?

Yeah, he's fine.

Just fine?

He's in prison, Hev, what d'you want me to say?

He's upset you, ain't he? What's he said?

Nothing.

Don't believe you.

He said nothing, OK, cos he won't see me...

and he hasn't seen me for over a week.

-Oh, Shirl.

-I thought, y'know, if I went there with some good news, the news about Amy,

then he'd snap out of it.

Just shut me out.

Shut us all out.

Maybe he just needs a bit more time, eh?

-You know what I need?

-What?

I need us to go out tomorrow night

and get off our FACES with cheap vodka!

Tomorrow?

Yeah. Got a problem?

-No!

-Yay!

-Yay!

-Good afternoon, Marie, how are you?

-Fine, Derrick.

-So, where's Amy?

-With her mum.

Where she was all along.

You can't resist stirring things, can you?

Someone had to do something but you still let her off the hook?

Yeah, and if I'd taken your advice...

grabbed Amy and run, where would I be now?

Probably in the nick. Great dad from there, wouldn't I?

Call yourself a Branning.

Know what, it's lucky I've got one brother who gets it.

Who, Max?

Well, he's hardly a poster boy for family values, is he?

Hello, babe.

That smells good.

Oh, that is typical, innit?

-Lauren's at the Vic and Ab's at a mate's.

-Typical.

What, just you and me then?

If you've made enough for four?

Yeah, there's plenty, actually, yeah. Why don't you stay?

That all right with you? Great.

Sorted then.

Bianca.

Bianca.

-I just wanted to see if you was all all right.

-We're all right, thanks.

-I'll go and make a cup of tea, shall I?

-How's Jack?

Anyone would think I'm more cut up than him about losing custody.

You know he likes to play things cool.

Yeah, he wants to keep his priorities right, don't he?

It's family that counts. Which reminds me.

-Take that.

-No, honestly.

-Take that, I insist.

Yeah? Tell her Carol.

Gotta think of your kids.

Take it, Bianca.

-Thanks.

-Cheers.

I'll save that cup of tea for another time, eh? See you later.

Hang on, listen. What's this about you and Ray?

Why? Who's said something?

Tiffany said that she saw you hugging him.

Oh, no! She has completely got the wrong end of the stick. There's nothing going on.

Look, why don't you take a little bit of that cash and put it to good use?

Like what?

Sonia.

Why don't you go and stay with them and take the kids.

Little bit of quality time away from any temptation.

You're back!

-Hello, trouble! How do you fancy going and visiting your Aunty Sonia, yeah?

-Are you coming?

Course I am! You can't get rid of me that easy. Come on.

Oh, it's cold!

She's really down.

I ain't seen her like that in ages.

She's always in a mood from what I can tell.

I guess I know her better than most people.

And the thing is... about tomorrow night.

Shirl's asked me if I'm free to go on, like, a girl's night out.

I think she's feeling a bit sentimental...

You DID say you were busy?

Yeah, yeah, I did but you should have seen her face...

What did you do?

I sort of said, "yeah".

What about me?

Our night?

I didn't think it was a big deal.

Spending Valentine's night with your future husband

-means nothing to you, does it?

-That's not what I meant.

-Obviously, it is or you'd have told Shirley, "no".

-It's not that simple.

Yeah? Well, it seems that simple to me.

I tell you what...

-Andrew!

-Cook your own dinner!

-No, I'm sorry, all right!

-Coo-eee.

-SHOUTS:

-No, it's not all right!

-Now you're scaring me.

Andrew. Andrew, love. Love, keep your voice down?

I can't even look at you right now.

-SHOUTS:

-Out of my way!

Come on, let's go and shut the curtains.

Going to help Mummy?

Going to help Mummy shut the curtains? No? Why not?

There we go.

There we go, all done!

Andrew!

What have I told you about losing your cool?

You know where it got you in the past.

If you breathe one word to Heather about what happened,

you're dead to me.

D'you hear me?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd