19/10/2012 EastEnders

Thank God. Thank God.

Always at the last minute, always your phone on silent.

You see, Masood, I wasn't keeping any 'secrets' from you.

And I certainly did not 'take' our children's savings.

I merely entrusted them to our eldest son.

Mum...

No, no, no. You like that word so much, Masood? Trust?

You need to go and look it up.

So go on, tell him.

It'll all make sense. I know it will, OK. And then you can tell them.

And then they, they can leave.

It was me.

This is...

Mum, I didn't pay the mortgage.

OK. Shall we make a start in the kitchen, lads?

But there's a plan, right, Syed? There must be a reason, right..?

I wrote that cheque.

I invested 10k in cleaning products on the back of a handshake

and I sold them at a loss.

Oh, my...

Trust?

But I'm holding my hands up, all right, Dad?

No excuses.

But I've learnt my lesson, I swear,

and if you just give me a chance, I can prove it.

We can... We can buy this place back.

You know, I can repay every penny. I can earn your respect back.

Dad, I know that the buck stops with me.

Mum, I...

Noise, Syed.

All you are making is noise,

and I cannot understand a single word you are saying to me.

Look Dad, 50 quid.

Look, it's not...

It's the last of my overdraft from the cash machine.

And the euros, for the honeymoon.

Dad?

Trust?

Come on, come on. It's only money. It's only a business.

Five minutes ago you were up against the clock

and counting frozen chickens!

Five minutes ago I didn't know your son was a bigger idiot than me,

and the divine Zainab blown the family fortunes and fibbed about it.

She didn't tell me!

So, so serious!

It's like snakes and ladders with you, Mas.

So you've slid down all the snakes, the dice is under the sofa.

So you lost this one. No biggie. No-one died, did they?

Ah?

Ah!

I knew he'd be like this.

I knew he would react like this.

What did you expect, Syed? A pat on the back?

You were supposed to be helping us.

-Well, he's royally screwed us over now, Mum.

-No!

No, I did not default on the mortgage payments

in the first place, Tamwar. You did.

I did not run this restaurant into the ground, did I?

Did I?

You know, this is my wedding day.

What a farce.

Ma, we both know why you didn't ask Dad to try and fix help this...

Don't you dare twist round on Dad!

Oh, no. It's not Dad. It's never our precious father.

I mean, do you hear him having a go at you about the mess

you left the restaurant in before I even got here?

Nothing. Not one word.

Because he's different with you, Tam.

Yeah, he is. Because he gets you. Because he wants to know you...

I mean, do you know how many times he's..?

He doesn't even like me, Mum.

Syed...

It's OK. It's OK.

I'm so sorry.

I know. I know.

The bailiff van ain't gone yet though, has it?

So I thought, you know, maybe here would be better.

I can always take him back to the B&B,

if you need to have a little discuss, you know.

It's not a problem, cos I love kids, you know.

Bless Rakil.

-Kamil.

-Kamil, yeah.

And all his little questions, questions, questions.

Too many questions.

So you didn't raise the cash then, no?

The bailiff's are going to take everything you got?

Tough call, Masood. Tough call.

Hey, mate of mine - one minute she's getting her teeth whitened

and a Christmas mini-break to Tenerife. Lost her job.

Next minute, I couldn't believe it, she's on antidepressants

a key to a bed-sit, acne breaking out, roots showing...

Thank you for bringing Kamil home.

It's OK.

That's OK. Now that is the face of a woman on the edge.

I really don't think that is any of your business...

No, no. Listen, I can always put the kettle for you, you know.

Cos I know you two probably need

to sit down and talk through the trauma.

I'm glad you're here.

Yeah?

Save me packing a suitcase.

I really don't think you should overreact like this, Masood.

You know, you can put on your own kettle, yeah?

Sorry.

I want you out.

Sssh!

Do not speak a word of all this.

-Fat Boy!

-All right.

Ain't you got a grown up name?

All right, I promise I won't speak a word of it, all right?

-All right.

-OK.

All right.

All right.

DOOR OPENS

-Back door.

-What?

The back door.

Let's just tell her.

Just go!

Listen, you feeling better? You're definitely looking better, baby.

So come here. Just call me the Love Doctor, yeah?

-Too much?

-Get lost.

-All right, cool.

Dee!

Oh, my days.

Why's your top on inside out?

Girl, you would not believe what just happened.

And she's like, "You stupid, stupid boy," and she's hitting him

and he's cowering, and I'm thinking,

"You know what? You need to fight back, kid,"

cos Tam ain't stupid, you know, and 12,000 quid?

That's a hell of a lot of money.

You don't lose that money down the back of a drawer, do you? No.

So then Mas, he's all sprawled out on the floor,

so I dashed some water on him.

Kim.

All right, I didn't, but I should have done, though.

Because he's sitting in the chair with his head in his hands

and I'm thinking, "At any minute now, he's going to have a heart attack

"and I'll have to give him mouth to mouth."

What is wrong with just being honest?

That's what he's trying to do, Masood.

You have cleaned us out, Syed!

And, once again, your mother has thrown all sanity,

all sanity out of the window!

From the moment you were born, you have been a wedge between us...

-Masood!

-And I don't even blame you. I don't.

You were just a whiney, obnoxious child, full of your own self-worth.

Well, say what you think, Dad.

When did it ever matter what I think?

You have driven us to the breadline

and she has backed you all the way!

I don't even understand what it is about you!

Why you? Why?

Why him, Zainab? Of all our children.

Why didn't you talk to me?

Why didn't you ask me?

What, am I not intelligent enough

to understand your next hare-brained, half-baked scheme?

-Because I didn't know!

-Because you didn't know!

Right.

Why put blind faith in the least capable?

Do you know why I did all this, Dad?

For years I have tried to work it out, Syed.

Do you know why I did all this..?

From the moment you were born, you wedged yourself in that bed

between us, and then kicked me in the back!

Because I want to be a success!

Because I wanted to make you proud, you blind old man!

Well, get out!

Get out!

You get out from ruining my marriage

and go and make your own husband miserable!

What?

What are you doing?

I have had enough.

Someone has to put a stop to it.

Dancing his stupid dance. Watching Syed play you...

I have had enough.

Kim. Who was leaving with the suitcase? Masood or Zainab?

Kim!

Was Mas packing a suitcase for him or for Zainab?

Denise. I do not know that.

And it's not really our business though, is it?

Yay, it's time to parteeeee! Tam, I've got your speech, bro.

Where's the cake? Where's the happy couple?

And why are those blokes outside?

Hey. Excuse, me. Hey.

Oi, you don't drink. That is not Muslim.

Bailiffs. Outside. Tea break.

It's a parallel universe.

Ah!

It's a sarong.

Oh, yes it is. Louder.

It's a sarong.

Yes, it is.

Does Victoria Beckham know, huh, that you've actually

been raiding her husband's 1998 summer wardrobe?

Christian, please.

Put it on. Put it on.

Men can wear skirts, you know.

Yeah. Bet you got a pair of matching sandals in here somewhere,

ain't you?

Oh, yes.

It's a very practical item, actually.

Did you get Syed one, as well?

I bet you got him one different colour, same pattern. Bet you.

Christian!

Wow! You are a closet

"matching-jumper-wearing heterosexual man", Christian Clarke.

Clarke-Masood.

I was thinking double barrelled.

It's pretentious anyway.

Very.

We need ice cream. Three tubs.

I'll go to the shop, you get the spoons, OK?

I am not enough, am I?

There is just not enough of me!

I'm all right if there's a Syed add-on to take all the devotion.

Someone larger than life and twice as mental as Yusef.

But a postman?

A teaching assistant? An easy life? No.

You want a knight in shining armour. I do know.

I know exactly why you favour Syed.

You are both aspirational snobs.

For all your moral indignation, you are a liar.

And you and Syed are two of a kind. And I do not trust you.

You don't trust me?

So Jane - she was a figment of my imagination, yeah?

-You know, we have both made mistakes, Masood...

-Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And I have tried.

I have tried so hard.

I've tried to be better, I have tried to be bigger.

Get over it, for the sake of our other three children,

for the sake of that little boy upstairs

who you messed around for almost a year until he didn't know

where he lived or who to call Daddy.

Yeah.

Keep my mouth shut. Stick it out. Us together.

For the sake of Kamil.

At least until he's 18, because surely after all that

I will rate somewhere.

Surely somewhere in there, there will be some level of respect.

For me, Zainab.

For me.

Where?

LULLABY PLAYS IN BACKGROUND

Sweet dreams.

I did it.

I said it. I told them everything.

I'm sorry.

Dad hates me.

They were never going to be laughing about it, Sy.

Come here.

Come on. Come on.

I am too old to keep blaming them.

I'm a liar.

He said I was a liar.

A cheat. Making excuses, he said.

Getting in between them.

In their way.

All that work you put in and I just ruin it.

Who'd want to get landed, eh?

Hey.

I do.

I do.

I don't know what to do now.

Sy, your parents will be all right.

They always are.

But they're not the only ones landed in it now, are they?

Huh?

Time to stop thinking about yourself, handsome.

Where has being good ever got me?

No. The question is, is that if you go bad, where you going to go next?

Straight down them Jahannam gates, bruv.

Yeah, yeah. That's right, I can speak Muslim.

I done a week in RE in Year 8, bruv.

Lightweight.

I lied.

It's a family tradition.

I don't like being second best!

I mean, of course I compare birthday presents.

What, did she think I wouldn't notice

when Syed got a mountain bike, I got a fountain pen?

I don't like being an after-thought.

I don't like picking up the pieces and holding the fort.

I'm not even my own wife's favourite.

Do you know how that feels?

You'll change your mind when the dust has settled, won't you?

Maybe I could take on some extra shifts.

Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise Masood, you know?

Everything out in the open.

Maybe taking on the Argee Bhajee wasn't such a good idea.

I mean, the recession isn't just a word on the news, is it?

We knew full well that the restaurant was in trouble even before we missed

a couple of the mortgage repayments, and...

Masood, look. See this?

This could mean a new start, you know.

We could turn things round with this.

The family can pull together.

And with our new son-in-law, things could be better tomorrow.

We're a family Masood, OK?

We're a family, and that means that we are bound together,

and I don't mean with bills or direct debits or debt.

How can I leave?

So much history, so much effort. How can I leave?

You don't want to do this to Kamil, do you, huh?

No, see. I don't. I don't.

So, tomorrow...

Tomorrow after you've patched things up with Syed, you know...

..maybe things can be back to normal again, can't they?

I'll make a plan. I will do a budget.

I don't work very well without you.

Masood.

Together.

Tomorrow.

We will be OK, won't we, huh?

No.

Yes, yes.

Oh, here's to the happy couple.

Yeah, yeah, cake's on the van, mate.

Yeah, and I've eaten your canapes.

I thought about what you said.

Good. He said you would...

and I...

Congratulations. I didn't get to say anything earlier.

Well, I just hope you two are happy.

I mean, this is my brother so it's not likely.

Just don't give him any money. Don't give him any responsibility.

And if he really hacks you off...

Ah!

Say it.

-Say it!

-I'm an idiot! I'm a stupid ugly idiot!

I mean, it doesn't make a difference but it makes you feel a lot better.

They're getting it on.

They are most probably getting it on right now.

You know, the best bit of falling out is making up.

They've had the bailiffs in, Kim,

they haven't had an argument over the cushion covers.

Well, not everybody's a celibate nun, Denise.

Come on, bruv, I mean where's your sense of romance?

I am on a schedule.

You only get one wedding day. Two. Three. Four max, you know.

-Come on, please.

-Five minutes, the power goes.

You are a good man. You know what, five minutes. Hey, we have light!

Five minutes, that's all I need, man. Sounds good to me.

Here we go, here we go.

MUSIC: "Let There be Love" by Nat King Cole

And can I just ask our happy couple on their very special day,

and I know it's late, but late is better than never,

to please take the dance floor.

Weird place, Walford.

# Let there be you

# Let there be me

# Let there be oysters

You dancing?

You asking?

I'm asking.

Then I'm...

Oh, what a shame! The power, the power's gone.

You know what, if you grab your jackets and your coats,

and, you know, and make your way out.

Bad luck, bruv. Sorry.

They're fine.

That's what I said.

Yeah, they'll be fine.

Yeah, course they will.

I mean, it's like a once every six months thing.

This is up there.

Basically, once every six months there's a big argument,

Dad gets hacked off, there's some door slamming, some shouting,

then Mum makes his favourite curry

and Dad goes back to doing what he's told.

CHEERING

-Good luck.

-Take care.

Well, who's up for the pub?

Suppose it ain't too early.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm good to go anytime.

There you go.

Thanks.

You know what, I'm spoken for,

but if I wasn't, you would have some serious competition.

Mum? Dad? They're all going to the pub for the wedding.

Remember that?

There was a wedding today.

Syed reckons he can get money back after the honeymoon.

OK.

If you two want to go together, I don't mind looking after Kamil.

Mum?

Where's Mum?

She's gone.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd