26/10/2012 EastEnders

Cora. Cora. Wake up now, man. The guests and them are coming down for breakfast.

SHE GROANS

Where am I?

The B&B.

I was in the bar.

HE CHUCKLES

How's the hangover?

-It's the middle of the day!

-No, no, no. It's the next morning.

You rolled up here last night,

wouldn't leave the sofa, so I left you to it.

-The next morning?

-Uh-hmm. I'll get you some water.

-So you can't remember anything at all about yesterday?

-Hello?

-KNOCKING ON DOOR

-Patrick?

Get rid of her. Don't let her see me like this.

-Yeah, OK. Hi, Tanya.

-Oh, hello.

-Sorry to bother you so early.

-It's all right. To what do I owe this pleasure?

You haven't seen my mum, have you?

-No.

-She normally comes to ours for breakfast.

-She didn't this morning.

-When I see her, I'll tell her you're looking for her.

Yesterday, she went off with Rainie's bridesmaid dress. I haven't seen her since.

She'll turn up. I have a gut feeling.

-If you hear anything...

-Yeah, yeah.

-All right.

-Yeah, yeah. Bye bye.

-Bye.

You didn't have that dress with you when you turned up here last night, you know.

-Next time you get Yas a dress, can we take a vote?

-It's Eid.

I had to get her something new to wear.

-She's going to look like a strawberry.

-She will not!

She'll look like a fine, upstanding member of the Masood family.

We should go round.

We haven't been invited.

Besides, I bought all that food.

-And we're going to the park.

-Yeah, yeah.

You know, every year, Dad gives an envelope with cash in it.

Do you see anything on the door mat?

-No.

-First thing he does after morning prayer

is give out that money.

He loves it.

Being the big man.

I've ruined that.

MOBILE BEEPS

-It's Tamwar.

-See!

-We should go round.

-We're going to the park.

Yasmin!

Daddy's got a new dress for you.

-Here.

-Ta.

Do you think he told him?

DOORBELL RINGS

What do you want?

I've got 15 toothbrushes at home that I don't need

and nothing to fit this phone.

-You haven't got a charger for it, have you?

-Try the one by the kettle.

Wahey!

It works.

Take it with you.

I, er... I didn't tell him.

You're right. Lexi don't need that in her life, does she?

Prison. Heather.

We'll just have to find another way of getting her home.

But what are you going to do about Ben?

I'll see you at the club in an hour, yeah?

Bring the phone with you.

Phil!

Thanks.

See, the trouble with speeches is, it's striking the right balance.

I mean, if this was a room full of geezers,

then it would just roll off the tongue.

But there's ladies present, see.

With their delicate sensitivities.

-And you don't have delicate sensitivities?

-Nah, sold them for scrap.

Has Max actually asked you to be best man?

I'm not that stupid. Make us a nice cup of tea, eh?

Warm my aching bones.

There's your phone.

-It's Ben's.

-Here.

Any of you know how to get tea out of a shirt?

-It's been a nightmare since the missus left.

-Yeah, yeah.

-You want lemon and what's it? A bit of vinegar.

-Are you joking, eh?

Now start talking.

Right. Well...

With you deciding not to tell Ben,

which was, of course, entirely right and correct,

the application's in pretty bad shape.

At the very least, we need a better support network

and we need it by half four.

Oi, you promised me the day off.

I've got a couple more orders to do.

Oi, Phil. She's been nicking out the till. You want to sack her.

Oi, cheeky!

What about Sharon?

-Could do with a woman's touch.

-I ain't having her involved.

She'd be perfect!

Sharon was never perfect.

Look, go home! I'll meet you in an hour.

I promised Ian I'd drop by, too, OK?

Go on. Out.

Ian, then. Uncle Ian!

-He's only been off the streets for five minutes.

-Yeah, but they don't know that, do they?

He's got a house. He's got businesses.

-The three of us... It's a family.

-Ian ain't married either, is he?

-No.

But he's got cousin Lucy and cousin Bobby in there.

Surely it's worth a shot, Jimmie?

I mean, unless you've got a better idea.

-Morning, Joey.

-All right.

Sort yourself out, will you? Look at the state of you.

-You look like you've been sleeping on a bench.

-Don't.

-Girl trouble.

-Oh, yeah?

Is it terminal?

Nah, just a period of adjustment, that's all.

-What's she adjusting to? Your uselessness?

-Very funny. I'm going to sell that one today.

Don't run before you can walk. Start with that one, please.

If I can sell that, I can sell anything, can't I?

Look at him. Look. He doesn't care, does he?

He will by the time I'm finished with him.

Let's go find Lucy.

Yeah.

Lucy, I'm allowed to worry, OK? I'm your dad.

Can you please just open the stall?

And Joey didn't come home last night. Is everything all right?

Ian! Ian, come on, we need your help.

-The kind of help only an uncle can give.

-Yeah?

-Are you cooking?

-No, Tamwar.

Today, you are Zainab. I've left a few of her clothes on the back of the bedroom door for you.

Yeah, Eid, a time of giving, prayer...

fathers forcing their sons to cross dress.

HE COUGHS

Oh!

-I wonder what it is.

-It's not much.

One's enough.

Can't a father give his son some money without being patronised!?

You see, your domestic situation is such that it'll be, you know,

more palatable for social services letting Lexi come home,

knowing you're a part of her life.

-You know I'm having counselling, don't you?

-What kind of counselling?

-The social don't know that, do they?

-It's... It's a couple of things.

My wife.

Not Jane.

My wife to be, she left me

and then I went and things went from bad to worse.

I had to sign the businesses over to my daughter,

-so I haven't really got anything any more.

-Yeah, but...

-you're Lexi's uncle. Lucy is her cousin.

-What does Ben think?

You wouldn't have to have her round here, all right?

She'll live with us. You're just going to be a name on a form.

-Are you OK?

-You only care about the people who pay you.

-Ian...

Are you going to help?

-SHARON:

-Knock, knock! The door wasn't locked, so I...

What's this?

Ian's agreed to help us get Lexi back.

You do know Social Services are going to want to interview you?

It can be quite...

-..intense.

-I'm not sure he should get involved.

Well, that ain't a surprise, is it?

Jimmie, see to the paperwork. I'll meet you at the pub later.

-Laughing?

-Uh-huh.

With my dad like nothing's happened.

I didn't sleep last night.

Me neither.

Right. That boy, he needs to be punished.

Yeah?

How?

I can guarantee you, this thing will never break down.

Could be a nuclear war and you'll be left with cockroaches

and these motors, yeah?

All that radiation, most probably be cockroaches driving them and all.

-You've got a deal.

-Sound, mate. Nice one.

MOBILE BEEPS

Well done.

Yeah, well, just getting warmed up. You got the paperwork on this one?

-Yeah, 'course. It's all right, I'll take over from here.

-Mind if go grab a coffee, then?

Yeah, go on. 20 minutes.

-Hi. Max Branning.

-All right, mate.

-We've got a deal, yeah?

-Yeah.

Congratulations. Right. Follow me. We'll do the paperwork. You local?

Yeah, just down the road.

-Do you remember the feasts we used to have?

-Yeah.

Table disappearing off into the horizon.

You were only five then. Everything looked big.

So many people.

Great(!) Just draw attention to the emptiness of the house. Good work.

You think Syed's going to turn up?

-He'd need an invite first.

-Forget it.

-Great. That's in the spirit of things.

-If he comes...

I won't turn him away, but actually go round and invite him...?

Great. What's he supposed to do, Dad? Develop telepathy?

Shouldn't take too long. Only another billion years of evolution.

Yeah, we're not big on evolution in this house. Dad, if you're OK

with Syed being here, call him. What's the difference?

He bankrupted the family. He knows what we're doing.

He knows where we are. They all do.

If you build it, they will come.

You can't invoke Kevin Costner in the face of the family's demise.

You're right, Mas is no Costner.

I'm right here.

Costner built a baseball field.

Dad's chopping tomatoes.

I'm right here!

Look, we'll only argue. It'll just be really tense

and I want to enjoy married life a bit, you know?

Does this mean I'm forgiven, then, eh?

Where we going?

Nowhere.

-What have you just done?

-Oi! Who do you think you are,

rocking up here, trying to mess with us!?

All right, Lucy. Don't be silly now. Come on, yeah?

-It's only a laugh.

-Oh, come off it, Lucy! You know I've got work!

-What now?

-A day should do it.

-Er, the whole day?

-Yeah.

-With any luck, it'll rain.

-Oh, come on, girls! Come on.

How old are you, eh? Eh?!

-Phil. Listen, my car won't start.

-We're closed.

Yeah, but you're here, aren't you?

I'm busy.

Please. Look, I'm taking Sharon on this picnic.

That's why I needed her to take a day off.

-Get a motor off your brother.

-Drive her around in one of those rusty hatchbacks?

-That's going to blow her away(!)

-We're closed and I'm busy. I'm sorry.

Oh, right. 'Course. Yeah.

You're closed and she loves surprise birthday parties.

MOBILE BEEPS

You are in so much trouble.

WHISPERS: Is she in?

Yes, she is!

Have you got any idea how worried I've been, Mum? I've been...

Have you been drinking?

I don't have to answer to you. I'm the mum.

It only works...the other way round.

Have you got the other dress?

I took it round to see her.

-Who? Rainie?

-You found her? How?

She got arrested a couple of months ago.

-Jack gave me the number.

-So where is she? Is she nearby?

Is she...

Is she sober?

She got arrested, Tan. What do you think?

I took the dress cos I thought I could persuade her.

And did you?

She tore it up. Right in front of me.

What did you expect?

We're better off without her.

Just, um... Just doing a spot of gardening, that's all.

You ain't got any bolt cutters on you, have you?

No?

Thermite?

There is no greater bond than between the postman and letterbox.

Some things are just not that funny, AJ.

Just drop him an invite. You don't even have to see him.

Then if he doesn't show, he's the bad Muslim, not you.

This isn't a piety contest.

We didn't see each other for...years.

This is the moment you don't let that happen with Syed.

Otherwise, you're going to make up one day

and then wish you'd done it sooner. "AJ, wish I'd done it sooner." Right?

We've already lost Zainab and Kamil. We need him.

All right?

Well, you can wipe that look off your face

cos everything is going to be OK.

How come?

By the time we're done, half the square's going to be on that letter.

They asked for a family, yeah?

Well, now they've got themselves a dynasty!

-Good old Ian Beale!

-Yeah.

Ian Beale?!

These meetings with the social services, they won't be easy.

I'm sure they know what they're doing.

-Who? Phil and Billy? Please.

-MOBILE BEEPS

Look, are you sure you're in the right place to take responsibility

-for a little baby?

-Yeah.

Yeah. It's mainly... It's just for the application, isn't it?

Don't you think Lexi deserves a bit more than a couple of names

being thrown onto a form?

-Is that... Is that Ben's number?

-Yeah.

Why's he texting you?

"Please help me get my daughter back, Ben."

Phil's told him.

Phil's obviously given him a mobile phone when he last visited.

All right, Lauren?

Yeah, but I think Mum's a bit upset about Rainie.

-I think you should go talk to her.

-Haven't seen Joey, have you?

No. Why?

It's just he might be more trouble than he's worth.

I gave him 20 minutes off about an hour ago.

-You ain't going to sack him, are you.

-Well, I don't know.

I ain't going to just employ someone to take the mick, am I?

Oh. At last. Babe, am I happy to see you or what?

Right, what's this, then? The cavalry or something?

-You been crying?

-Ha-ha-ha(!)

What are you doing here? You come to let him go or something?

-I ain't got the key, have I? Came to gloat.

-Come on, girls.

-I think this conversation's a bit biased against me.

-He ain't worth it.

Yeah, well, maybe I'm not either.

That's rubbish!

-He's been there long enough.

-No.

No!

I know that, um...

you know, what we did was awful and...

I feel awful. I feel sick.

Just look at him, Lucy, please. Look, he doesn't care.

He's playing a game.

How can you forgive someone who doesn't even ask you to?

Oh, you've got to be joking me.

Yeah, nice one. Thanks very much. Cheers, girls. Yeah.

Right, you. It's time for an Eid feast all of our own.

Look what I just found on the door step.

Someone's got the spring back in their step.

-All right, Max?

-All right, Del?

-Whisky, please, my darling.

-I've been working on my old...

-You haven't seen your boy, have you?

-I thought he was working with you?

-Yeah, so did I.

I hate to be an I told you so.

Yeah, looks like it(!)

That's no way to talk to your best man, is it?

I hate picnics anyway.

Yeah, well, obviously my car knew something I didn't.

-Do you want a drink?

-Yeah, lovely.

-Brothers. Feeling in a good mood. What do you want to drink?

-I'm all right, thanks.

He's taking it well.

-Taking what well?

-Me being the best man.

-I thought you were best man?

Yeah, Del, about that...

What?

Well, it's just he's got to be the best man, hasn't he?

-He's been there all the way through.

-I was inside!

Well, you couldn't do it anyway. Bride wouldn't turn up.

Oh, right. Well...

..don't I look the fool.

-Come on, Derek.

-It's all right, Jack. It's all right.

I'm useless at making speeches anyway.

See you later.

You, er...

You had a change of heart yet?

Phil, leave Ian out of it. He's fragile.

I never thought I'd get to the day where I could count on Ian

more than you.

-It's depressing.

-Don't!

-I'm just saying,

you set all these places at the table, they're all empty...

I just get this...

-Overwhelming sense of loss?

-Any word from Zainab?

-No!

I suppose we're not expecting her and Kamil

to burst through the front door.

No, probably not, AJ. But what would you have me do?

Not bother? OK. Fine. You switch the TV on and we'll eat off our knees.

-Dad.

-No, it's pretty pointless if there's only three of us.

-DOORBELL RINGS

-I'll get it.

Dad, it's a proper feast, OK? Really.

You came!

Well, we just followed our noses

because something here smells delicious!

Wow. What a spread.

Oh, yes. There we go.

Hey, Tambo.

Thank you for the money.

You went round?!

If you build it...

You hungry, then?

Yes, we are. So why don't you talk us through?

Well, Christian, we have a range of curries here.

This is my personal favourite, Rogan Costner.

Thanks.

You know, there are some fellas that

get to be best man lots of times.

Me, I never thought I'd get a go,

on account of me being misunderstood.

But if there was one man...

..that I'd want to be best man for...

..it's my baby brother Max.

When he first came along, I was about nine.

I remember the day that my mother first introduced me to him...

like it was yesterday.

He hasn't changed much since then.

Still drags his feet and his vocab hasn't got any better.

But from that moment on, I loved him...

..which is why I stand here today in front of you...

..the proudest man alive.

You OK, Dad?

Yeah.

Thought I heard voices.

Just me talking to myself, as per.

-You, er...

-I'm off.

You have a lovely day, sweetheart.

OK.

You faced the music?

This is what happens when you bring Rainie back into the mix.

Ruined the dress, upset Tanya...

Was it Rainie's fault you got drunk, too?

You know what she's like.

Kim found it. I couldn't believe my eyes.

It belongs to you, doesn't it?

If this is just another wind up, don't bother, all right? Just jog on.

I'm actually starting to quite enjoy it here, you know?

Bit of wildlife.

Lovely view.

Why don't you just say sorry?

Don't you care about Lucy?

Or Whitney?

You're missing someone from that list, aren't you?

Is that all we are to you? A list?

Why do you pretend to be like this?

-Anyway, my dad's on the verge of sacking you, so...

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

That's why I'm here, innit? Didn't want us to surrender

the moral authority and I just want you to know that,

me and Whitney, we're going to do everything in our power

to make sure that Lucy doesn't take you back.

Look...

Lauren...

I do know why you don't want Lucy to take me back, all right?

I know.

You're just...jealous that Whitney got the kiss and not you, aren't you?

Phil. Can I... Can I have a word?

-Where's Jimmie?

-Here I am. Just in time.

Right. We need to sign this and we need to do it pronto.

Well, this is it, Jimmie.

The clan. Minus Lola, of course.

-The nuclear family in full flow.

-Are we signing or what?

-Phil, please...

Can I have a word, please?

Look, I've been thinking about what I'd have to say at the interview

and everything.

And I don't think I can lie, OK?

Because I'd have to tell them about when I was sleeping rough

and everything.

I don't want it to be my fault that Lola doesn't get the baby back.

Who've you been speaking to?

Phil, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I can't do it. I can't do it.

MOBILE RINGS

That's low.

Even for you.

Right.

Ian's out.

Well, what are we going to do?

It'll take me a half-hour to get to court and they shut in 40.

-What's going on?

-Ian's out.

-No!

Put Sharon down...

-as my girlfriend.

-I thought you didn't want her involved?

Just... Just do it.

And put fiance.

So, you're...

getting married now, are you?

Yeah.

Yeah, we are.

And we're going to spend the rest of our lives together.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd