11/12/2012 EastEnders

# It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

# Everywhere you go... #

That's it. That's lovely.

Spread them apart, like these ones here.

That's it, just keep... You need... You might...

Just keep... Oh, they need to be fanned out.

Alfie!

It looks beautiful.

Come on, you've been up all night. Come back to bed, yeah?

Nan and Jean have taken Tommy to Belinda's, so...

No can do, sweetheart.

I've gotta finish putting all these lights up. Fats!

-Come on, mate, you're with me today, all right?

-What about the stall?

-Don't worry about the stall, we've got to finish the market.

-All right.

-You all right?

-Yeah, fine.

Denny, can you hurry up, please?

Listen, you go and sort him out. I'll take care of that.

-It's all right, Jack, I can manage.

-Go on.

Thanks.

Are you going to sign my card or have you got one of your own?

-Eh?

-Oscar's birthday?

Oh, of course.

Jack, look, I promised Phil I'd go over tonight.

Come on, he's my nephew!

-Sorry, but we need to go over what to say tomorrow.

-Well, go over after.

Max and Tanya, they're expecting us,

and besides, he's Oscar's mate, isn't he?

Yeah, yeah.

-Smells good.

-Yeah?

-Look at that.

-Look at that, eh?

-Yeah.

-All done?

I haven't even started yet.

I just want everything to be perfect today.

I don't want to think about anything else except my little boy.

These scan results...

they'll be fine, I promise.

We don't know that, do we?

Well, there's no point thinking otherwise, is there?

-Anyway, like you said...

-Oi!

-..today, it's all about Oscar.

Yeah. So you can start by dropping him at school, please.

-All right. See you later.

-Not too late.

Well, I've got a car auction up in Enfield.

-Max...

-Babe, I won't be late. Couple of hours.

Three hours, tops. I won't be late.

OK? See you later.

All right, birthday boy! Somewhere you need to be this morning?

Pucker up! Get your free mistletoe with every purchase over three quid!

Here, Denise. Word of advice for you, love.

Customers love a gimmick. You've got a lot to learn.

Yes, ladies?

Well, I've got to give it to you, Alfie.

I didn't think you'd be able to pull this off.

Yeah, well, wish I could say the same about your stall, Tyler.

All right! You'll be laughing on the other side of your faces later

when we rake it in.

Oh, we're just quaking in our boots, bruv! Quaking!

-Fats!

-Easy!

-All right, Alfie?

-You all right, Derek?

What, have you given up on the wager already?

Whoa, hold on! What, you call this giving up, do you?

You ain't going to make no money with an empty stall, are you? Eh?

Mind you, you're doing us a favour.

More business for me and Tyler here, eh?

THEY CLUCK

Oh, Fats, take no notice. Oi, come on! Let's get back to work.

Oh! Hello, ladies. Hello, Pops.

Hi. This place looks amazing!

I love Christmas lights.

Wait till you see them turned on.

This place is going to be buzzing! Listen, you're all coming, yeah?

-Try and stop me.

-All right!

Um, I dunno, Fats. I'll try, yeah? But I can't make any promises.

We're back-to-back today

and, you know, Bianca's meeting her probation worker this morning, so...

Ah, well, OK. No worries, you know. It's no biggie or anything.

-Sorry. I'd best make a move.

-OK.

-I'll see you later.

-OK!

I thought you were supposed to be at work today, you.

No, I'm shopping.

Right, my little sugar cube. I've got a surprise planned for you.

-Oh, yeah?

-Tomorrow, as soon as I shut up shop,

we're hitting the West End.

I can't tomorrow, babe, I've got after school club.

-What?!

-Sorry.

Whit, sweetheart! Listen, what time are you sending Liam and Morgan over?

You know, carol singing? Liven up the market a bit?

Umm...yeah. As soon as they get back from school.

Hey, that's my girl. Well done.

Knock 'em dead today, all right?

-Whitney, you haven't got a mo, have you?

-Yeah.

Yeah? Just...

Oh, Alfie!

Now, THAT is Christmas!

Yeah, I know, I know. I call it my... What is it?

"Piece de resistance", or whatever the German equivalent is.

Listen, Fats, it cost an arm and leg, but I think it'll be worth it

to see the little faces when it lights up.

Listen. I'm guessing this girl is...Poppy, yeah?

How did you know?

What do you mean, how did I know? You're all over her like a rash...

You know, buying her that snow globe... I know how much that cost.

..inviting her to the lights...

-So, what, do you think it's lame?

-No. Stop right now.

Fats, I promise you, I don't think it's lame, all right?

It's just that... I dunno, Alfie, man...

I'm not that lucky long-term with the gallies and that,

-you know what I mean?

-OK, let me stop you right there.

Couple of things wrong with this conversation. What did you just call her?

-Gallies.

-You can't call her...

You ain't going to get nowhere like that. Gallies? What's that?

-So, do you think she likes me, then?

-Poppy?

-Yeah.

Come on. What's there not to like? Look at that beautiful cherub face!

-Hold on, hold on, he's punching way above his weight.

-Oh, Ian, stop!

I'm just kidding. You want my pearls of wisdom, OK?

Being yourself with the ladies gets you nowhere.

Obviously isn't the right one then, is she?

Listen, Fats, for what it's worth, my piece of advice...

Never try and work out a woman.

Seriously. You'll just end up confusing yourself.

You treat her like she's the centre of your universe...

..and I promise you, you can't go wrong.

Yeah, I see.

-I get ya.

-Yeah?

-Well, yeah.

It's... It's like this place, isn't it? It's not just for us...

This is for Kat.

You... You, Alfie Moon, you're a diamond geezer.

And she is one special lady.

So, what time's this party, then?

Well, I'd hardly call it a party, Derek. It's just...

Mum. Where do you want this?

Good morning, Lauren.

-Morning, Abs.

-Hello.

Oh no, this don't look like a party at all.

Look, I've just invited a few of Oscar's school friends, that's all.

Yeah, and Jack and Sharon...

Yeah, well, Sharon's Denny's mum, isn't she?

I'm not being funny, Derek, but I haven't even invited my own mum,

so it's not going to look very good you turning up, is it?

-I'm off. See you later.

-Bye-bye, darling.

See ya!

You can really tell why she's the apple of Max's eye, can't you?

I mean, she's studious, clever, sensible...

Any chance of you going back to college, Lauren?

She might do. Maybe. Next year.

You know who's really surprised me? That Lucy Beale.

What a smart kid, that is, eh? Running her own business.

What my Joey was thinking of when he got rid of her, I don't know.

BALLOON DEFLATES LOUDLY

Did I say something wrong?

-Here, let me give you a hand with that.

-No, I'm fine.

-Maybe I should go and have a word with her.

-Will you just leave my kids alone?!

I mean, I'm just saying, she's just...

She's a bit vulnerable at the moment, that's all.

-What time's Max back?

-Why?

-I want to talk to him.

-What about?

-Never you mind.

Just tell him I called, eh?

CAROUSEL PLAYS "We Wish You A Merry Christmas"

Right, take me down.

-Looks great.

-Well, I worked hard for this, Michael.

So, what was all that about?

Nothing. Just admiring your work, obviously.

Yeah, obviously!

He's bringing Scarlett to the lights

so I said we'd meet him for a drink beforehand.

What do you that for?

Listen, you know how busy I am, all right?

All right, I'll meet him, then.

Come on, chop, chop! You only got a few hours.

All right, take me up.

Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can, Phil.

No. No, I won't be late.

OK.

Oh, keep it going mate, that's it, a bit more. Couple more feet to go.

That's it.

Keep going, keep going...

That'll do you. Lovely. Sweet.

Check out my boss! He doesn't do things by half, you know?

Careful, darling. Don't want you spending Christmas in hospital!

Right, everybody, if I may have your attention, please?

Thank you.

This...is the crowning glory.

Yeah, yeah, all right. Come on, we ain't got all day!

I'm quite admiring the view from down here!

GASPS

What, you lost something?

Yeah.

Yeah, Denny's homework.

Can't find it anywhere.

So what's the urgency?

Well, he needs it for tomorrow.

We're going to Tanya's tonight, then I'll be at Phil's.

-I haven't got time.

-Sharon?

-What's wrong?

-Nothing.

-You're looking for the pills, aren't you?

-Don't be ridiculous!

I'll get the lunch ready, then, shall I?

OK, listen.

I just need the one, that's all.

Please, Jack.

It's just for today. I just need something to calm my nerves.

I mean, what good am I going to be to Lola like this, eh?

-You'll be fine.

-Please.

-I binned them.

-You're lying.

Look, they're my pills and I want them.

Being in a relationship's about supporting one another, but you?

You just stand there and judge me.

Well, I got you wrong.

I thought you understood me.

Well, I walked out of one controlling relationship,

and believe you me, I ain't about to walk into another.

It's not about control, Sharon.

All right? It's cos I care for you.

And I thought you were stronger than that.

But it's your choice, yeah?

Alfie, come on, it's only a star.

It's not just a star, Kat! It's more important than that!

-It's on all the posters!

-We'll get another one.

-I'll get Nan to call Fat Elvis, yeah?

-It won't be the same.

It doesn't matter. The market looks stunning.

No-one's going to notice a missing star now.

-Well, they're not going to notice anything then, are they?

-Stop this.

I can't do it any more. I'm not...

Get out there and sort the lights out.

No! OK? I'm not interested. Let someone else deal with it.

I don't want to do it no more. I'm done with the lights.

All right. Forget the lights. Forget everything.

Go and have a sleep.

Go and have a sleep.

Um, hi, Max, it's me...

I was hoping you'd be home by now, so...

Look, can you just try and get here please

before Oscar gets home from school?

I want us to surprise him together, and...

So don't...go...

Just come straight home, OK? Bye.

HE SIGHS

You all right?

Look at him, he can't help himself.

Eh?

All that rubbish about loving someone else.

Do you think it's her?

I doubt it. She's not really his type.

What type? He probably has a different girl every night.

Like I care.

You should just forget about him.

I think we should go out tonight!

We went out last week. I can't afford another night out.

Oh, come on, Lucy. It's the Christmas lights.

There's going to be loads of free mulled wine. Come on!

Whitney's going to be there as well. Please? Please?

Go on, then.

Lauren, will you say happy birthday to Oscar for me, yeah?

You remembered, then?

Yeah.

-Are you...Are you going to the Christmas lights tonight?

-Lauren.

I dunno.

Well, we're going to be there...

So what's wrong with the last one you gave me?

Nothing.

Just thought I'd give you an early Christmas present, that's all.

So I don't get rid of my old one sharpish then? Is that right?

-Well, now you come to mention it, it wouldn't hurt.

-Yeah, all right.

Ooh, easy!

I'm guessing these ain't paracetamol.

-All right? Where you been, then?

-I had an appointment.

OK. First I've heard.

Fat Boy's on his own out there.

Are you going to help him, or have you changed your mind?

Listen, Kat, I said I'm not doing the lights.

All right. Keep you hair on.

Now get your sexy bum behind that bar.

-We're going to be busy soon.

-Hold on, where you going?

I've got to help Kim with something.

She doesn't take them any more.

It's that poor little Lola I feel sorry for.

-Pinning all her hopes on a cheap criminal and a drug addict.

-Oi!

What if this got out?

-She's not an addict.

-I'd be doing you a favour, Jack.

Derek. Do not mention this or breathe a word to anyone.

All right, keep your knickers on!

Her secret's safe with me.

'..so don't...go...

'Just come straight home, OK? Bye.'

PHONE RINGS

Derek?

What do you want?

Max?

Is your dad in?

No.

Oh. Is Lauren back?

Yeah, she's upstairs. Why?

Right. Look, no peeking in the front room.

You go upstairs with Abi for a bit.

-Come on.

-I'll see you in a bit.

SHE LAUGHS Oh, look!

OK, all right. So, you know what you have to do, don't you?

What's going on?

Oh, it's Christmas, Ian. It's all about the children.

I mean, you would be a fool to resist a couple of cute children

singing at Christmas time.

OK, gather round everyone. Gather round. Come on, come on.

Let me introduce you to Albert Square's very own...

...might I say, exceptionally talented choir.

Oh, I wouldn't go that far.

Is this some sort of joke?

Oh, oh! And come on over to the Minute Mart.

One hundred percent organic produce.

-Hey!

-Oh! Thank you for the advice, Ian.

TUNELESSLY: # Silent night

# Holy night.

# All is calm, all is bright.

-# Round yon virgin mother and child... #

-Virgin(!)

Will you stop mucking about?

Sorry, we'll start again.

# Silent night

# Holy night

# All is calm, all is bright... #

Shh! Shh!

-Do you want us to start again?

-No, no. Sorry.

Why don't you try door-to-door, or something?

Well, no. It's not our best. We haven't...

SORRY. Sorry.

OK. Come on then, boys.

Went well.

Denise, what can I say?

Hats off to you for trying. I mean, it was a really good effort.

But if I was you, I'd stick to selling the fags and the booze.

Come on, everybody!

What's all this, Del? You only got us new mobiles about five minutes ago.

Ah, not like these, though. These are state of the art.

Nothing but the best for my favourite brother.

Jack, on the other hand...

Well, I think you'd be lucky

to get a pint of beer and a Ruby out of him for your stag do.

He's clearly got other things on his mind.

Yeah, well, I know that feeling, Del.

I've got to pay for this wedding, haven't I?

I couldn't even afford Oscar a decent birthday present.

Tanya's getting her results tomorrow.

I'm trying, Del, I am.

I'm trying to be there for her, but it's hard, isn't it?

And this other lot, they're not making it easy for me, are they?

Del, it's never-ending...

DOOR OPENS

Oh, hello, Tan.

-You all right?

-You were meant to be at home by now.

Yeah, I know. I was coming. Del just wanted a quick word, so...

What about?

We were...just discussing his last night of freedom.

-Right. Let's go home, shall we?

-Yeah. Cheers, Del. See you later.

Oh, don't forget.

You have lots of fun tonight.

Take lots of pictures for me, won't you?

Cheers.

Why don't you join us?

Yeah. Oscar would love it, wouldn't he?

You can give him the present yourself.

Thank you, Tanya. I'd like that.

Come and get your free mince pies

and feast your eyes on the best stall in Walford!

Best Christmas presents, best Christmas decorations around,

with the best possible prices. All right there, sweetheart?

Oh! You...you came?

Bianca said she'd lock up, so...

Oh! Well...

There you go.

Wait, wait, wait!

SHE LAUGHS

-Thank you.

-That's all right.

-Oh!

-HE LAUGHS

It's my pleasure, sweetheart, you know?

-Denise?

-What?!

Oh, yes, Ian. You won. I lost.

Congratulations! You're back! Woop di doo!

Oh, no. Look, I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have...said that.

No, no. Look. I'm sorry. I was the one who was out of order.

No. It was a lovely idea what you were doing for those kids.

Bianca and the kids, they need all the help they can get at Christmas.

Yeah. It's funny, that.

I'd give anything to be Bianca right now.

Kids around the table at Christmas.

-You've got Kim.

-Who's got Ray.

It seems like everyone's paired up right now, doesn't it?

Don't push it!

-Same time tomorrow?

-Bring it on, Beale!

KIDS' PARTY MUSIC BLARES

They'll take one look at me and they'll take Lexi away for good.

No, they won't.

DOORBELL RINGS

Oh, sorry, just getting a drink.

Lola.

Darling, I'm just as scared as you are,

but I promise you everything will be fine.

Now, we're going to go tomorrow and bring back your little girl.

Come here.

OK?

Thank you.

You all right?

Oh, hello, Sharon.

Drinking spirits at a kids' party? How responsible, Derek.

Is Lauren back yet?

-CHILDREN LAUGH

-Sorry, excuse me!

Don't get me wrong.

I love Oscar, I do, but playing pass-the-parcel with snotty kids?

No thanks.

Great(!) Look who it is.

All right? Banged out tonight.

Yeah, yeah. Kat's gone AWOL.

You know, if she's not in trouble, she's not living.

What?

Tracey, can you...hold the fort, please?

What's up?

She's lying to me, Michael.

I need the ladies'.

So you decided to come, then?

Yeah, well... Thought I'd just come in for a quiet drink, you know.

Listen, Lauren. I did mean what I said the other night. You know...

Yeah, well...

Well, I spoke to Lucy and she said you love someone else.

I don't particularly care what Lucy has to say, Lauren.

Please, just listen.

I really do think it's just best if we avoid each from now on.

Completely.

I knew I would find you here.

Oh, just go away, Abi.

With everything that Mum is going through,

-you'd rather get drunk than be with family.

-Mum is fine!

Is that it?

What's happened to you?

I've spent half my marriage trying to work that woman out.

She knows me inside out, yet I've got no idea what goes on inside that head of hers.

What are you going on about?

She said she's gone out to help Kim.

-So, she's probably helping Kim.

-No, no, no! She's not. It's wrong...

I just can't trust her right now.

No. Maybe you're jumping the gun, Alfie?

-It's happening all over again.

-Alfie, let's get a drink.

-She's laughing behind my back...

-No-one's laughing, Alfie.

-..mugging me off at the same time.

-No. No!

Come on! Snap out of it, Alfie!

What? What did you just...say?

I'm telling you that my wife's having an affair AGAIN behind my back

and the best you can come up with is, "Oh, Alfie, snap out of it"!

She was destroyed at the thought of losing you.

Do you think she'd go back to him after all that's happened? Anyway...

What? What did you just say? Go back to who? Go back to who?

-Boss, boss, boss!

-Did you know?!

-Come outside. We need you outside. Could you come outside?

-What did you mean, "go back to him?"

Come on, you'll love this, trust me.

We can sort this out later. Come on! Trust me.

Here's Alfie!

THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD

Boss! Boss!

Alfie, come on, man. Come this way.

THEY CHEER

THEY CHANT

ALL: We love you, Alfie!

I wasn't going to let you give up, was I? Eh?

I had to pull a few strings to get it, but you're worth it.

Everyone, I give you Alfie Moon!

THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD

My husband's blood, sweat and tears went into tonight,

so I expect you all to appreciate it. All right?

Let the countdown begin!

ALL: Ten, nine, eight...

-Take it. Come on.

-..seven, six, five, four,

three, two, one...

THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD

MUSIC: "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"

It's perfect, innit?

Yeah. Perfect.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd