22/07/2013 EastEnders

MOBILE RINGS

Hello?

What?

Oh! All right, I'll be straight there.

You all right, Jean?

-The cafe's closed, again.

-Maybe Lucy's having a lie-in.

Something's wrong.

Come here. We've got some new stock in on Friday.

Why don't you choose something for your date later?

You want to look nice for Ollie, don't you, eh?

I'm not going.

Course you are.

How can I, what with all that's going on with Ian?

Ian's a big boy. He can look after himself.

Sorry I'm late. Tiff got chewing gum stuck in her hair.

Stock needs unpacking.

You all right, Jean?

Yeah, she's fine.

-Why ain't the caff open?

-Marie didn't show up.

-Where's Luce?

Still in bed.

Jean, what's the chance

-of you coming back to work at the restaurant?

-None.

Why not? I've apologised!

Oh, Ian, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry...

-No, forget it. Forget it.

-Tell you what.

Why don't I come to the Vic later, bring over some nice tops?

I could fix your hair, do your make-up.

-Ollie won't know what's hit him.

-Is she taking her pills?

Don't even go there.

-I thought I'd made myself clear last week.

-The caff's not open.

-So open it.

-That's Marie's job.

-Yeah, well, she's on holiday.

She's what? Why didn't you tell me?

Sorry. Did I forget to mention that?

What's the chances of you opening up the caff for me?

That would be slim to none.

Come on, Lucy, please.

It's your mess. Sort it out.

All right, how about I pay you?

-How much?

-Name your price.

-OK. I want double time.

-Fine. Anything.

You know what, come to think of it,

I've already made plans for the day. Sorry.

Don't forget they're coming to service the chippy fryer later.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Nine o'clock on the dot.

-Actually, you're one minute late.

-How is she?

She's just about got over the excitement

of seeing her first Shetland pony.

Yeah, a seminal moment in any child's life. Hi.

Where are you taking her?

To see the ducks.

Fascinating, ducks. Did you know they don't quack? It's a myth.

Yeah. And the males are mostly mute.

Oh, to be a duck right now.

Can you have her back by 12?

Yeah. You could come with us.

I've got a really busy day at work.

Have you? Course you have. You might want to lose the...

That side...

Porridge.

Here, Kim, have you seen Shirley?

Unless it starts with a big apology, I ain't interested.

It's just, she ain't come back for the rest of her stuff.

Well, who can blame her? Who'd be seen dead in that old tat?

I mean, look. What's this? You know what I mean?

I'll take it off what she owes me.

What about Shirley?

Denise, this is a very respectable business,

not a halfway house for some old wino.

Well, it's good to know she can count on her mates.

She ain't my mate.

Oh, Shirley, what have you done?

Phil?

You stay out here.

Hello!

Hello?

Anything been nicked?

Must be just kids.

Phil...

Come on, out of there!

Out! You've got ten seconds to sling your hook.

-I said out, come on, out!

-Do you mind? I'm trying to get some kip.

All right?

Kirsty let me in.

Just come to give Jean a makeover for her big date.

Better start mixing the cement, then, eh?

How's the wedding plans coming along?

Yeah, you know... Rox is sorting all that out.

You've had enough practice, ain't ya?

How many times did we try it? You're pushing three now.

Rox wants to make it official later.

-What do you mean?

-You know, make an announcement...

Listen, Kat, if you'd feel uncomfortable...

No! No, it's fine.

It's about time people had something to smile about round here.

Is that you, Kat? >

Yeah, I'm just coming, Jean.

No matter what I do with my hair,

I still end up looking like Boris Johnson.

Right. Better get you sorted, then.

Not exactly chatty, are you?

What do you want to talk about, Phil?

Your dodgy deals?

Ben?

Hev?

Let's just stick to the weather, shall we?

Why are you doing this?

Doing what?

Buying me breakfast. Making out you care.

Only reason I slept in the car

-was cos I couldn't get in the B&B.

-Is that right?

Yeah. Kim puts the chain on at midnight. Silly mare.

So you'll be back in there tonight, will you?

Why wouldn't I be?

-A cup of tea to take away, please.

-You'll have to join the queue.

Where's Marie?

Clacton, with the kids.

-I could do her shift if you want.

-You?

Yeah. Why not?

No offence, but you stink.

Say that again?

He's, er...

he's got a point.

Listen, I've got a tank full of hot water at home going begging,

if you want it.

Do I stink?

SNIFFS: Hay fever.

I'm only doing it cos Kim's boiler's busted. Understood?

Loud and clear.

'When you have finished, you may hang up

'or press one to change your message.'

Max, it's me. Give us a call when you get this.

I think you're in for a long wait, sweetheart.

What are you talking about?

I just saw Jack at the car lot earlier.

What was he doing there?

Running it, by all accounts.

Seems I'm the last one to know anything round here.

You've got beautiful skin, Jean.

Have I?

Mmm. Ollie's a lucky fella.

I shouldn't be here. I should be at the restaurant, helping Ian.

Will you forget about him for one minute?

I've no right to be excited.

Not after everything I've put him through.

So you're excited, then?

I'll only mess it up. I always do.

Don't be daft.

Look at Billy.

He's a waste of space.

And then there was Norman. I lost him to Pat Evans,

a woman double my age.

And all Eddie gave me was a stuffed bird.

So what do you suppose that says about me, Kat?

Well, I think it says you had a lucky escape.

It's been 13 years, seven months and 15 days

since I lost Brian. Silly to still keep counting, isn't it?

All I want is someone to ask me how my day was.

Someone to do the crossword with of an evening.

That's not too much to ask, is it?

Course not.

Actually, I just want someone to love me.

Someone to make me feel like I belong. That I matter.

That I'm important. Someone to make me feel special.

That's all any of us want, though, isn't it?

Well, let's hope that Ollie's the one.

What if I say the wrong thing?

If he's worth it, then it don't matter what you say,

cos he'll see the Jean that we all see.

What, mad woman in a cardie?

Funny, caring, and a heart of gold.

Can do things with a sausage that most men would be petrified of.

So come on, no more feeling sorry for yourself, all right?

That Ollie should thank his lucky stars

that you're even glancing in his direction.

Come on. Let's have a look at you.

Now, you're a Slater, remember.

Now, go out there and knock his socks off.

So. What's the story?

There ain't no story.

Kim's kicked you out, hasn't she?

No. She had a job lot of Polish turn up.

I was the first out the door.

Why aren't you at work?

Jay can handle it.

Must be quiet around here now without Lexi being about.

I hadn't noticed.

You know, I can remember when I first came to Walford.

You couldn't blow your nose without bumping into a Mitchell.

Peggy, Ronnie, Sam. They've all left you.

Even Aunt Sal don't visit any more. Why do you think that is?

You know where the towels are.

Because they don't care any more. They've moved on.

Building a life of their own.

I don't know about you, but I could murder a cup of tea.

You're like a dinosaur, Phil.

I can remember, and it weren't that long ago

when people used to see you and run and hide.

But now you're just the old man from the garage.

You still know how to land a punch, don't you?

We're not that different, you and me. I'm on my own. So are you.

Is that right?

We were good together, Phil.

Granted, we weren't the best looking couple out there,

but neither are Ian and Denise.

But we did have something. We had a spark.

That weren't good enough for you, was it?

What is this, couples therapy?

No. I want you to know something.

What's that?

I was the best thing that ever happened to you.

You just don't know it yet.

Hello. I wasn't sure if I should bring anything.

I can always go and make sandwiches...

No, no, no, you're all right.

Well, I thought as it's such a lovely day...

Used to belong to my eldest.

He used to play with it as a kid.

It was a stupid idea, wasn't it?

I'm so rusty at this dating malarkey.

My kids thought it'd be a good ice-breaker.

Are you supposed to hit it?

Yeah. I think so.

And then what?

Well, I'm not entirely sure.

If you'd rather not...

In for a penny!

That's the spirit.

Right... ready?

Hello. You're late.

She can say duck.

Really?

Yeah, she can. She can say duck, can't you?

Or an approximation of the word duck.

-Will you look at that?

-Look at what?

Just seeing you two...

-What do you want?

-The Vic this lunchtime.

-What about it?

-In fact, everybody,

you're invited to come over to the Vic this lunchtime, all right?

-For?

-Everything revealed in due course, Michael.

Just make sure you rally the troops up.

-This is...beautiful.

-Do one.

Are you going to go?

Might. Might not.

Might or might not see you there, then.

I haven't had time to go to the bank, all right?

I just came in for a snack. But now you mention it...

I'll have the instalment for you tomorrow.

I do love a jammy doughnut.

Dad, I need you to cover for me.

What? Why?

I had this dodgy curry last night...

-All right, spare me the details.

-A bacon sandwich, please, Ian.

Yes, go sit down, I'll bring it to you.

Oh, I almost forgot. Some geezer was asking for you at the chippie.

Something to do with the fat fryer or something.

Right, that's it. I'm really sorry, everyone, I've got to close up.

-Please can you finish up and leave?

-What about my lunch?

Never mind your lunch, I've got to be in three places at once cos I can't rely on my family, can I?

Sorry, but you're all going to have to go.

Oh! You see, I was never any good at sport at school.

They used to make me do extra needlework instead.

But then they discovered I couldn't sew either.

So in the end, they just let me sit with the coats.

-Why are you laughing?

-You. You make me laugh.

Do I?

Look, Jean, you've got to try and hit the ball.

Yes.

Oh! But it's going so fast.

-All right, I'll do it a bit slower. Ready?

-Slowly!

-Yes!

-Yes!

-I've got to keep doing it, though, haven't I?

-That's it!

You see, I told you you'd get the hang of it.

I take it you're a bit of a sportsman.

-I used to play football for the station's side.

-That's nice.

That's until they ditched me for a newer model, of course.

That's the trouble with young coppers today.

No respect for the old guard. Right...

You'll get fat.

All muscle, that is.

And the rest.

I never heard you complaining.

You've got to admit it, though. I've still got it.

That's debatable.

Get us a double rum and ice, please.

What's that?

It's nothing.

It doesn't look like nothing.

So when's your fella back from his big business trip?

Don't start this again.

What is it, car auction?

Something like that.

You remember our first motor?

How could I forget?

I spent most of my time pushing it round the estate.

I loved that car.

It was a death trap.

I can't believe some chav nicked it.

They didn't. Me and your mum sent it to the knacker's yard.

You did what?

And the worst thing was, we had to pay them to take it off our hands.

Good times, though, eh?

Yeah.

MUSIC FROM JUKEBOX: "Born Slippy" by Underworld

What date is it today?

I don't remember.

-It's the 22nd.

-Is it?

That why you got the card, is it?

You remember this?

It's your mum's birthday, Carl.

If you say so.

You two are all right, aren't you?

Just leave it, will you?

-Are you all right?

-Yes, fine.

It's just, ever since I mentioned I was a copper,

-you've gone all distant on me.

-I really should be going...

What's the matter? You on the run or something?

Now you really are starting to worry me.

I shouldn't be here.

Why not?

You uphold the law - I tend to break it.

What are we talking about here?

Couple of parking fines, some dodgy DVDs?

You don't know the half of it.

If I've learnt anything over the last 30 years,

it's how to read people.

Can you read me?

I think so. I see someone who's struggled.

-But I also see someone who's funny. Kind...

-No, I'm not.

-What?

-Funny and kind. I'm nothing of the sort.

I make people unhappy.

I find that hard to believe.

Whoever it is you think you've upset...

things'll sort themselves out. They usually do.

-But you don't know.

-I don't care.

All I care about is what's happening here and now.

And, and what's that?

VACUUM CLEANER SWITCHES OFF

-What do you want?

-I'm looking for Kim.

Well, she took herself off to the sales.

So it leaves muggins here to cover for this place and the shop.

So it's OK for her to go splashing the cash

whilst Shirley's walking the streets?

What are you talking about?

Some Polish fella's taken her room, apparently.

Is that what she told ya?

The Social cut her benefits.

I just found the letter when I was tidying up.

-So you didn't turf her out then?

-She can't afford to stay here.

I've got 500 quid here - how long will that get her?

Two months, maybe.

Right. There you go.

One condition, yeah? Shirley don't find out the money came from me.

So what do I tell her?

I dunno. Use your imagination.

And you'll find her over at my house, yeah?

I never had you down as a good Samaritan.

You caught me on a bad day.

Thanks.

So when did you last see her?

Before I went inside.

You've left it that long?

She had the hump. Didn't want to be put in a home.

That ain't your fault.

Try telling her that.

Go and see her, Carl.

And get more earache? No chance.

So why did you buy the card?

Habit.

The longer you leave it, the harder it's going to be.

It's not that simple.

How do you mean?

Carl...

She still thinks we're together, Kirst.

JEAN SINGS TO HERSELF

Someone's happy.

Yeah. I have just learnt to hit a ball!

Everything all right, Lucy?

Yeah. Apart from my family falling apart, you mean.

It can't be that bad, surely?

My dad's losing it, so...

How do you mean?

Ever since the restaurant got wrecked,

he's just been on a downward spiral,

screwing over everyone he cares about just to get it open.

As far as I'm concerned, me and him are through

and I don't have a dad any more.

(Right.)

Right.

Right.

Sort yourself out, why don't you?

What was that?

Oh, nothing, I said we're running out of hangers.

So what do you want me to do about it?

You are a right miserable cow when you want to be, ain't you, eh?

Do you blame me,

with you screeching down my lughole every day?

-Ian's in a bad way.

-Not again?

-I'm going to go and talk to him.

-No, Jean, don't, please.

No, I need to find out how he is.

Jean, as much as it pains me to say it, she's right.

Best you stay away.

Why don't you go and stay with the Wendys at Whitstable, eh?

You want me out of the way, don't you?

-Just until it dies down.

-Only a couple of weeks, Jean,

and it'll all come out in the wash, won't it?

Jean?

You feeling better?

That bathroom could do with a clean.

You offering?

I never did like this house.

Lucky you don't live here, then, isn't it?

-I need 50 quid.

-What for?

None of your business.

Suit yourself.

-Come on, you owe me.

-I don't think so.

-40, then.

-How about a nice cup of tea?

You really are a piece of work, ain't ya?

Tell you what.

I've got a tenner here, and here's a money-off voucher for a pizza.

I'd rather go through the bins than take money off of you.

KNOCK AT DOOR

It's, er, it's for you.

How did you know I was here?

Er, Kim, she saw you coming round earlier, didn't she?

Yeah, well, it's not what you think.

I can vouch for that.

I'll be round later for the rest of my stuff.

-Oh, no, there's no need.

-If Kim's chucked it out...

The Social left a message.

There's been some sort of mix-up with your housing benefit.

-So your rent's covered.

-Your lucky day.

So the sooner we get you moved back in,

-the sooner you can be back at the shop.

-Are you sure?

Try not to look a gift horse in the mouth, Shirley.

I'd just take it if I were you.

Well, if you ever need a shower...

I'd rather stand outside in the rain.

Shirl, can we...

Can we call a truce, eh?

Over my dead body.

Here, Jean, you want to get yourself down the high street.

They've got a sale on wet-look leggings. Good, innit?

SMOKE ALARM BEEPS >

No...no...not again...

ALARM KEEPS BEEPING

Oh!

Ooh!

Right. Let's get you out of here, shall we?

You shouldn't have.

-I didn't. They're for your mum.

-Don't start all that again.

I thought we could go together.

You serious?

I've already cleared it with Alfie.

She'll be over the moon.

Yeah, be nice to see your mum.

Besides, I thought it'd be better coming from the both of us.

What will?

When we tell her that we've split up.

-There you go, buddy.

-Lovely. Thanks.

You all right? What?

The big announcement?

I'm not going to say nothing until Peroxide's here.

Fair play to you, you've assembled quite a crowd.

Michael, don't worry your pretty little face, mate.

People will turn up.

In fact, here's someone now. She's made an effort.

Yes, sweetheart, what can I get you?

Seeing as Alice is looking after Scarlett,

-I'll have a large white wine, please.

-Coming right up.

-And whatever he wants.

-No worries.

I'll have a large scotch, then.

I wasn't talking to you.

-Mine's a beer, please.

-Hi.

Thanks.

Sometimes it feels like all the walls are just closing in on me.

Just when something starts going good,

something comes along and it just pulls the rug from under my feet.

Peter comes back. And then this place...

it gets trashed, doesn't it?

But look at it now. As good as new.

You don't know what it cost me, Jean...

Look, not everything is about money, Ian...

It cost me my daughter. My beautiful little girl.

All because some joker had it in for me.

I'm sure it wasn't like that.

You didn't see the damage to this place. It was...

Whoever it was... they did it good and proper.

I can't just sit here. I've got to get the prep done for tonight.

-I'll help you.

-No, it's all right...

-No. I want to.

-Jean?

-Thank you.

-Please...

No, Jean, I don't deserve to have a friend like you, OK?

So thank you. Thank you.

I did it.

I caused all this.

What are you talking about?

The fire, the water, the damage...

It was me.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd