16/08/2013 EastEnders

You done yet?

Excuse me, can you take him down the station? It's not good for business.

I ain't got nothing.

Could you remove what's in that pocket, please, sir?

Oi, I think that Carl might be getting arrested.

-What? Let me see...

-Yeah, well, come on, it's none of our business, is it?

Away. Girls, come on.

Right, so how we going to celebrate?

Well, I was going to call Jay.

Oh, don't do that. Don't go disappearing.

Let's have a curry, you know. Few bottles of pop.

-CORA:

-Course everybody misses you. Don't be silly.

Yeah. Will do. Bye, darling.

Tanya...has invited me to visit!

Right. Lovely. We've got two reasons to celebrate!

The wit! The wit!

Cora, call the curry house, will ya?

They're beta blockers...they're...

Yeah, I'm aware of their function.

This is the form detailing the search.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Anything we should know?

CARL BREATHES HEAVILY

If you're not dealing drugs, how come the police are all over you?

Have they gone?

Well, of course they've gone!

Carl, are you all right?

Here he is! Tam Tam the market man.

I just picked up my application form for Tyler's stall. You can rubber stamp it, if you want.

No rubber stamping on my watch. I have to send it through the proper channels.

I thought I had friends in high places. Come on, bro!

What's this? Hot chocolate? What are we celebrating?

Um...sweet revenge. Kat and Bianca won't be messing with me again.

Thanks to Alice.

Uh-oh...

He likes her!

Uh-oh...

Is this wifey number two in his sights,

barely into his twenties?!

Don't be ridiculous.

-Really? Alice?

-Yes, Alice.

She's going to some singles night tonight, anyway,

so she's going to find some guy and be ridiculously happy and all that.

Unless...

You know what, leave this with me, and...and listen, brother,

don't make any plans, all right?!

When do I ever have plans?

-They just searched him and drove off.

-They didn't find anything?

They didn't nick him.

Look, Max, he ain't going to think it was us, is he?

-If Alice is in danger...

-As long as he gets the message, that's the main thing.

Don't tell me it was you.

Joey. Didn't know you were here.

Yeah. Yeah, babe.

I just came round to see how it went today, that's all.

Yeah... Yeah, it went really well. Thank you.

Look, Joey, we're just about to sit down and eat, so...

Yeah, no, I've got to get back to work anyway.

I can walk with you, if you want.

-Yeah?

-CORA:

-What's Kirsty having?

-I dunno, Cora. I dunno where she is.

-I've just seen her.

She went to the B&B with Carl. Just after the police went.

How long's this been going on?

CARL BREATHES HEAVILY

Tell me.

Just a couple of times since I come out.

Sorry, how long were you thinking of staying?

-Maybe it's not the best time, eh?

-OK. Later then.

I ain't going back inside. I'll see myself dead first.

Don't talk like that.

What do you care whether I live or die?

How can you say that?

Just leave me alone, yeah?

-Just go!

-No! I'm not going until we've sorted it!

ITEMS FALL TO THE FLOOR

Baby?! DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

# Baby, baby, baby, baby... #

-You'll never guess what's been happening in Walford town today!

-No, no! Don't move!

I don't want you massacring my sweet peas.

You don't want blood on your hands, do you?

Or on my toes!

Now is not the time for frivolity, if that's all right.

-OK...

-If you don't treat them right now,

then they don't grow up right.

What, you mean, like ASBO seeds?

Like they're roaming round with hoods up, tagging post boxes and that?

I've already messed up my little babies, haven't I?

I'm such a terrible mother.

You do you you're not actually their mother, right?

Shh!

(They can hear you. You speak to them and they listen.)

You're all adopted! Run! Go find your mummy. You're all adopted!

-Out! Out now!

-No, baby, I'm joking!

I've got news! I've got news! Tamwar and Alice! Tamwar/Alice news.

You know, Tamwar really likes Alice, as in REALLY likes her.

As in...

# I been thinking 'bout choo! Oooh no, no, no... #

-No?!

-Oh, yes, yes, but we've got a little bit of a problem.

-She's going to some singles night thing tonight so...

-Yeah...

..time is of the essence.

OK.

And this could help with the whole stall application as well, babe.

Not that that is important.

Um... OK, well, we could set up a dinner here.

You know, candles...

nice bit of food, bit of ambiance.

OK!

And, baby, what we having for starter?

Crushed sweet pea salad?

Oh, no!

Baby, you're killing them! Stop it, stop it!

-You're killing them!

-Stop it!

Don't wind me up. Get out.

Why was your brother here?

He needed money.

Yeah, well, Max said you were in the club with him.

I met him there to pass him some notes, send him on his way.

And that would've been the end of it, if it wasn't for Max.

-Well, you're lucky you didn't get a baseball bat to your face, the mood he was in.

-Charming(!)

-He attacked me. He had every right to go and...

-To what? Search me?

I spent five years inside with screws going

through my stuff like it was theirs, not mine.

No privacy. No dignity.

Do you know what that's like?

-No.

-You come out from inside and everyone thinks they've got

the right to judge you.

Look, he was just angry with Adam.

And that gives him the right to call the police on me?

He wouldn't do that.

You look like you believe that about as much as I do.

He isn't the man you think he is. FRONT DOOR OPENS

Right, that's enough babe. Come on, let's go.

Let's go home.

You wouldn't do that, would you?

Call the police?

You didn't do that, did you, Max?

Right, yeah, so I should probably get to sorting this out...

Oh, yeah, OK. Well, I've got to get back anyway.

Don't want to miss Abi's celebratory curry(!)

Look, Lauren, babe, you do know I'm really sorry about...

Joey, can you give me a hand with the banner...

Hi, Lauren.

Sorry, what are you doing here?

What? You said that you needed help with singles night

and you couldn't do it your own, so I come here and...

Matt let me in. Sorry.

That's very charitable of you, Whitney.

I'm going to go then.

Don't go.

Stay, please.

Look at us, getting the band back together.

It is looking lovely, ladies!

Yes, well, I don't know why she had to use my best china...

Hope they don't break it.

Because it sets the tone, Mrs Branning, you know.

-And it's romantic.

-You OK, Mrs B?

No, Arthur. I have been banished from me own home!

Sent to Coventry.

Coventry. Baby, that's a bit harsh, innit?

No, we're not going to Coventry. We're going to the Vic,

where we're having a lovely meal, with regular cigarette breaks,

and it's all on me, OK?

Fats, have you text Tamwar?

-Uh... I was...

-Will you get on it, please? It's important!

Alice has already confirmed.

Yay, you did it!

Will you help me with these balloons now?

My mouth's gone all funny.

So...are we allowed to ask?

What?

How today went.

Yeah, it went really well, thank you.

Actually, do you know what? It was amazing.

I was quite worried, cos she seemed a little bit too old,

to, like, get me...

Did you come to any big conclusions?

Well, she sort of just...

She made me realise that, really, I'm doing well.

Cos, after last night, I was so angry with myself...

Last night?

Yeah, I had a sip of vodka and then...

What do you mean, you had a sip of vodka? What, here?

Outside.

-But that's not the point, Joey...

-Oh, Lauren.

Don't look at me like that.

-Either of you!

-I'm not, babe.

I'm not looking at you like anything, I just...

-You know, I'm just a little bit...

-What? A little bit disappointed?

Yeah.

I don't think you should be here.

FIGHTING TEARS: I'm fine.

Joey?

Babe, to be honest, all right,

-I didn't come round here to listen to all this rubbish.

-Just deny it.

No. Listen to me. If you want to have a conversation,

let's go and have a conversation,

but my marriage has got nothing to do with him.

-That's fine by me. I've had enough for one day.

-No!

I want to hear what he has to say.

Babe, are you joking?

Five minutes after you try and search him

in the club, the police just happen to roll up...

Well, he's a drug dealer. What do you expect?

-You know, it's part of the job description.

-I ain't dealing, Max.

Yeah, course you ain't(!)

I know you're angry about Adam showing up - I'm angry too -

but I had nothing to do with it.

Babe, can we just go, please? I've got one daughter

who's just got her exam results. I've got another who's just back from her first day of counselling.

I haven't asked her about it, cos I'm here, dealing with this.

-Can we just go? Please?

-How is Lauren, by the way?

Sorry, mate, what did you just say?

-Just asking after her health.

-Right, just asking after her health,

cos it sounded a bit like you're making a threat.

Are you threatening my daughter?

-No, he's not threatening your daughter!

-You threatening my daughter?

-Why would I do that?

-You think I ain't going to knock you out?!

-Max, no!

Get on your feet! Get on your feet!

-Why would I do that?

-Max, no!

-Mug!

So, what are we going to do when we get there, then?

You might find true love, you never know.

-True love. What does that look like?

-Might meet the arty type.

-Like a poet.

-Please! THEY LAUGH

Or a man with strong arms and a decent motor.

Good luck with that one.

What you looking for, then?

Oh, I don't know, someone who don't mind that I've got

-a load of kids, an ex-husband and no money.

-That's nice.

Yeah, it's nice, innit?

You don't talk about my daughter, cos my family has got nothing to do with you!

Stop it!

Listen to me now, man. This is a business, you know.

A bed and breakfast business with guests.

It's not enough that you bring the police inside our doorstep,

you've got to bring violence in here as well, huh?

Look, we're sorry, Patrick.

We really didn't mean to cause any inconvenience.

OK, it ends now. I want you out of here.

Let's go.

Max.

You left this.

Oh, you naughty man.

Max.

Max!

How dare you speak to me like that?

Why are you inviting him back into our lives?

In fact, give me one good reason I should let you back into my house.

Yeah, and give me one reason why I should come, eh?

-What now?

-Now a load of desperate singles with money roll in.

I meant with Lauren.

I dunno. Every time I see her, I just feel guilty, you know.

I got to the end of the street, trying not to cry my eyes out,

and I thought about it, and, yes, I did take a sip of vodka,

but I spat it out.

And my counsellor, who I've known for like five minutes, wants to

give me a round of applause, and you two...

You two want to send me out like a naughty kid!

Right, Lauren, just calm down for a second, yeah?

I walk in here and she's putting up decorations...

"just to be helpful"...

and I'm supposed to be fine with that.

Come on, what, Whitney and Joey - are you the best of mates?

Really?

Tell me something - when you two were kissing, did you pull apart?

Like I spat out the vodka?

Lauren, we didn't even know you were coming back.

No. See, you just blamed me and you went along with it!

"How could Lauren do that to us?

"Shall we just jump on each other, just to ease the pain?"

Lauren! I'm gutted, all right?

About what happened. I am. But if either of us had known you were

coming back, it wouldn't have happened in the first place, would it?

Is that why Tyler's gone?

Is it? Cos of what's happened?

You know what? I don't blame him.

Cos it is not my fault, right,

that my best friend and the person that I thought I was in love with,

want to betray me.

So I don't have to grin and bear it, all right?

I do not have to put up with your hypocrisy.

Cos I didn't drink last night.

I came very close, but I was strong

in a way that you two clearly weren't.

So I don't need you.

You can sleep with whoever you want.

Cos I've got my family now.

So I'm going to be fine.

Grub's up.

Right, so Dad forces me to have this celebration that I don't even

want to have, and then I'm the only person who bothers to turn up?

Oh. So I don't count?

Of course you count. Look, can I just call Jay?

No, you can't. Your dad'll be back in a minute...

Sit.

Sit down.

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

-You all right?

-All right? Can I take your names?

Yeah, Kat and Bianca.

Oh, come on, we'll have a good night.

We better be early.

BIANCA SIGHS

Where you going?

Hey, pretty lady!

Leave it out, Clint. Had any luck yet?

I was sure invoking Eastwood was the way to go.

Turns out chicks don't need cowboys...or Indians.

So what do us "chicks" like, then?

Cbeebies presenters?

Oh. It's not for everyone, believe me.

I tell you what.

Why don't you find the woman of my dreams...

and I'll find you the man of steel.

Well, if you can do better than total failure, we've got a deal, yeah?

Hey. Clint don't fail.

He don't buy drinks, neither.

Hello?!

Where are they?

Hello?

Poppy?!

Fats, if you're planning on jumping out on us,

you should know I've got anxiety issues...

It's all right.

Aww!

OK. Someone's a fan of candles.

"We lied. It's just you two. Dinner's in the oven."

What?

I think we've been set up on a blind date.

HE MOUTHS

SHE MOUTHS

Bianca, I don't think you've figured out how this works.

Yes, yes, we have. Me and AJ have got a deal.

He's going to find me a bloke, I'm going to find him a girl.

Anyway, he's tall and mysterious.

-Who? AJ?!

-He's got loads of money.

-Oh, please.

-BIANCA LAUGHS

She's winding you up.

Come on. I'm depressed now.

I'm having a laugh now!

Joey, fix me something to take away the pain.

Every time I see you, there's trouble.

I intend to make it up to you. And Kim.

Yeah, well, it's a bit late for that.

The police didn't find anything, Patrick. This was a mistake.

Listen to me now, man. It's not only the police I'm worried about.

Max and Kirsty...

That whole family... They're good people, man.

They came here to me, where I live.

-Yeah, yeah, but you're the one causing the problems.

-I'm not.

Look...

six years ago me and Kirsty were supposed to get married.

It's coming up to the time which would have been our anniversary

-and I'm feeling a bit down about it.

-Yeah, but you didn't get married,

so it's just another day, isn't it?

Yeah, it's just another day.

Tell Kim I want to book in for another month.

Nuh-uh. I want you out of here.

I've seen how many empty rooms there are upstairs.

Let's not pretend she don't need the money.

You'd be doing her a favour, because I've done nothing wrong.

I can't believe they actually fell for it.

I know. They were so worried,

-I actually started to feel a bit bad for them.

-Really?

-No!

-SHE GIGGLES

Well, if it wasn't for you, I'd still be in the launderette,

endlessly rewriting my resignation letter.

I just gave you a little push in the right direction.

You know, my mum left, and I just got really depressed for ages.

But your dad...

passed away...

and...somehow, you're happy.

Well, I really loved my dad.

Yeah, no, I know. I know.

I just meant...

I think you're...strong.

Thanks.

This food is...

-Cold.

-Disgusting.

-Yeah.

What you doing?

-SHE LAUGHS

-Tamwar, you can't do that!

Magic. Look, it's gone. Don't know where it went.

-Fish fingers.

-My favourite.

-OK. Get the grill on.

So, here he is! The man, the mystery, that is Clint.

Oh, no, no. He's hers. You're... You're...

I'm Clint, eh? Make my day.

Ahhh.

A sizist.

(Who's he?)

Uh, this is Colin. I told him about your astrophysics degree.

-I haven't got a degree.

-Neither do I.

Oh! Looks like we could be a match made in heaven, then.

So, do you reckon they're done?

Well, it has been an hour.

I mean, we don't want to leave 'em too long in case they...

you know what.

OK! Shall we go?

-I hope it worked out.

-So do I, man.

Here you go, Mrs B. MOBILE PHONE BEEPS

-Fats!

-There you go.

-So, what film are we going to see again?

-Just lucky dip.

You just go to the cinema and get tickets to the next show.

Oh, OK. What if it's a horror?

We've got each other.

OK.

So, you know what you were saying earlier, about me...

Fighting the evil forces of doom, yeah?

No. Well, like, manning up.

Mm-hmm.

That was me manning up.

That's not manning up.

Tam the man!

Yeah, well, that'll please Poppy. Where is, she by the way?

Come on.

Lauren!

You had counselling today?

Sorry. It's none of my business. Your dad looked worried.

Yeah. Well...he is a dad.

You all right, though? You look all right.

Uh...yeah!

Yeah. All right, well, I'll see you later.

No, uh, your dad... He left his mobile round mine.

-Oh.

-You want to tell him to put a password on that.

Could get himself into trouble.

I had to go dry for quite a few years.

I know how strong you're being.

Please. I just want to go to Jay's...

Leave it with me.

-You'll cover for me?

-Yeah. Course. What are big sisters for?

Thank you.

Great. One turns up just as the other one disappears.

Abi!

-Abi's gone to Jay's.

-What's she done that for?

-We done all this specially, ain't we...

-And you're not going to shout about it.

You're not going to go over there and try and get her back,

because, at the end of the day, Abi got three As.

And when somebody gets three As, they can pretty much do exactly

what they want, so...

-Here, here.

-Yeah, all right, fair enough.

And, I don't know about you,

but I could do with five minutes with no drama.

That sister of yours has got a lot to thank you for.

This smells really good.

It is!

-Oh, Dad.

-Mm-hmm?

I just saw that Carl.

Said you left your phone at his or something.

He said you should put a password on it. Which you should.

You obviously have never had your phone hacked before.

What?

So much for no more dramas.

I thought I told you to stay away from Lauren.

You know, I was upset this morning when I woke up,

with Adam threatening Kirsty.

But I sorted him out.

And I was happy to end it there,

but you just wouldn't let it go, would you?

I learnt some interesting lessons today.

You've got a temper on you.

-And Lauren's your weak spot.

-Yeah?

Well, you're going to drag my kids into this, Carl,

we're going to go to a whole different level, mate.

Three weeks' time... September 3rd.

That would have been mine and Kirsty's wedding anniversary.

Right, but you never got married, did you?

And on that day, I'm going to end your relationship with her.

Right, three weeks?

You don't think it would have been a better threat to

say, like, 48 hours? Bit more dramatic?

I know you're going to walk home, smiling.

But, tomorrow, you're going to wake up with this little niggle.

This little... "What is he going to do?"

And you're going to be looking for signs.

Maybe they're real, maybe they ain't.

But this niggle.

Paranoia.

And you're going to start getting tense.

Going to start arguing with Kirsty and the kids.

And this atmosphere is going to descend.

And, by the time that day comes...

you won't know whether it's me that brought you down,

or whether you did it to yourself.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd