05/09/2013 EastEnders

CAR HORN JAMMED

HE GROANS

You all right, mate?

Don't stand there, get an ambulance.

HORN CONTINUES TO BLARE

Happy birthday!

Thanks, darling. Cheers.

You all right? Happy? Yeah.

Is that yeah, as in yeah, or yeah, as in you're being polite?

Ten minutes ago, it would have been me being polite.

But no, I'm enjoying meself now. Nice thought, bruv.

Strange for you, but nice.

Well, I just thought we should go for it.

Make today really special.

Forget all about Carl, yeah?

Who is that?

SIRENS APPROACH

HE GROANS

Is he OK? Just let the paramedics deal with him.

He's not... Just wait there, just wait there.

They've called the air ambulance,

everything's being done as quick as it can.

His name's Phil Mitchell.

He lives...

55 Victoria Road in Walford.

He's got family there, someone needs to tell them.

It's OK sir, just leave that to us.

HELICOPTER BLADES WHIR

INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER

Phil!

Are you OK to talk?

I'm fine.

Right, let's get you seen to, yeah?

Mr Mitchell? Mr Mitchell? Can you hear me?

Observation is low, CGS is three.

We need to get him out of here now.

OK, guys, let's have this roof off, quick as we can.

What happened, can you remember?

The brakes just went.

We touched a lorry...

I tried to hold on to the steering wheel.

Right - one, two, three.

HE WRETCHES

On the count of three. One, two, three - lower.

We could do this later. OK.

I don't understand.

It's never happened before - the brakes were fine.

Come on, guys, quick as you can. Let's get a move on.

INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER

What's going on?

How is he?

MAX: Nah, I ain't seen her, Jay.

Lauren, you ain't seen Abi, have you? No, not for a while.

Where is she? She was well up for this. I don't know.

Jay, Lola's not here either, I just checked.

This is all my fault, innit?

If I never told you to phone Kitty... Too right it's your fault.

All right. Listen, leave it to me, I'll find Lola, talk to her...

I have been listening and look what's happening to me.

Leave well alone.

Do you think this is enough? Yeah, yeah, just a few nibbles, Max said.

It's not, is it? I'll do some more.

Jean, there's enough to feed the 5,000 here.

Yeah, well, just to be on the safe side.

Stop and just enjoy the party, yeah? Take your pinny off.

Oh! I ain't missed it, have I? The big surprise?

Sorry, I got caught up in a traffic cone convention on the high street.

All right, sweetheart? Eh, birthday boy!

Does he know there's another surprise

about to smack him in the chops?

He has to know sometime. And he WILL know.

What, when she turns up?

In my own time, in my own way, all right?

Really have been a busy little ducker and diver today, haven't you?

Yeah, I ain't finished yet. All right, Sadie? Hi.

You couldn't use an extra pair of hands at Beauty?

Yeah, I could use them.

Oh, yeah? Couldn't pay for them, though. Right.

Sorry, Max.

I find it hard enough to make up the wages each week as it is.

We couldn't come to some sort of little deal, could we?

Well, you certainly know how to treat a lady.

I spend all day with a bunch of screaming kids

and what's my reward?

Egg, sausage and beans at the local greasy spoon. Woo-hoo.

And talking of screaming kids...

Are you going to eat that?

I ain't had a chance.

You keep nicking my chips before I can get at them.

I probably need to adjust my insulin a bit.

Happens every now and then.

Get it wrong, plays havoc with my stomach.

That's the second time now.

What is? That Denny's come home upset.

Said you got at him about his spelling, or something.

Oh, no, I didn't get at him,

I was just showing him where he was going wrong.

Oh, well, his spelling's fine at home.

Well, maybe he gets a little distracted in school.

And maybe it's the teacher.

Here you go, ladies.

Thought you was going to bottle it for a minute.

With you on my back? No chance.

I don't mean to sound like an old dragon. I know.

It's for my own good.

No point in hiding myself upstairs licking my wounds.

No chance.

What are you up to?

Huh? What makes you think I'm up to anything?

Cos you've got that look on your face. You've had it most of the day.

Don't know what you're talking about.

Cheers.

Um...found all this...

when you went to bed last night.

Oh, yeah, I was just doodling.

BIANCA LAUGHS

Looks more than just doodling to me.

Yeah, I told Kat you used to be interested in that sort of thing.

Still are by the looks of it.

And then, I remembered you did that course up in Manchester.

Found out... they're doing another one.

I phoned first thing this morning and they've still got spaces.

You should at least think about it.

Must be the day for it. For what?

Nice surprises. I've just gone and got myself a job.

Really? Yeah. Part time, obviously.

Where's that? Beauty. I start Monday.

That's great, Lauren.

I mean, obviously I'll be sad to lose you from the car lot but...

I'm really pleased for you.

Not sure how pleased she'd be,

if she knew that you were paying her wages.

You're quite an operator when you want to be, aren't you?

She's fine.

Can't stop thinking about her - me and her.

But I thought there was no more you and Jean?

I made a mistake. A big mistake.

I thought she dumped YOU.

Whatever.

So it doesn't really matter what you think, does it? It's down to Jean.

OK, but why DID she dump me?

I could see it in her eyes.

When she was telling me about her condition,

she thought I was judging her.

And was you? No, I wasn't.

In fact, I even tried to read up about it before I met her,

so I could be well prepared.

OK, I admit...

I didn't deal with it very well

when she went on about you and Alfie.

Me and Alfie? Yeah.

About how you were meant to be together.

She said I didn't need all this.

That no-one did.

But I do need this...

..and I need her.

Look, Kat, I just want to talk to her, OK?

Put things straight.

Yeah, all right. Um...

Can you wait for me over at the caff? What, you mean you'll...

I don't mean anything. I'll talk to her, all right?

INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

Abs. Oh, good, I thought my arms were going to drop off

if I had to carry this for much longer.

It's Uncle Jack's birthday cake.

I had to wait nearly an hour for the shop to finish it off.

So you ain't seen Lola, then? No, why?

No, nothing. Give it to me.

Oh, good. I'll get the door.

Of course I love her. You've got a funny way of showing it!

You've had one barney and you're onto the next one - is that it?

It wasn't like that.

Guess that explains why you ain't been answering her calls.

Too busy answering someone else's.

No, not at all. You do realise that Abi thinks this is all her fault?

When all the time you're the one cheating on her.

I ain't cheated. It was just a kiss. That makes everything all right(!)

I weren't thinking straight, right? My head was all over the place.

No, your hands were.

ALL SING: "Happy Birthday"

Look, Lo...something happened while we was away

but me and Abi got over it, we moved on.

Yeah, I know you've moved on. Moved on to someone else.

Listen, if you want to ruin all this, you can.

But what happened last week is finished.

Me and Abi, we're not.

ALFIE: Hip hip!

CHEERING

Everything all right? Do you live here, sir?

No, no, but my cousin does.

Is your name William Mitchell?

Yeah.

Look, Kat, this is really not for me.

Listen, I know it'd take a bit of sorting out... And the rest.

You've always wanted to do something like this again.

It doesn't matter what I want to do, it's what I can do.

You're not even going to think about it? With the kids? Me job?

How much it's going to cost?

Yeah, it'll be a doddle, won't it, eh(?) Have you been looking for me?

Only Dexter said that...

What?

Lo.

Lo! Not now, Pops, I'm busy. Yeah, now! And you, Jay.

Why, what's the matter? Shirl, Rox, you need to hear this.

Bill, what's the matter? What's happened?

Phil's been in an accident.

It's a car crash, Lo, it's really bad. But Phil went off with Carl.

Look, I don't know too much.

All I know is we've got to get up the hospital as soon as.

So, shall we?

Any news on Phil? Still being operated on.

What about the car, has anyone checked that?

"The brakes just went." That's what you told our colleagues?

Yeah, I don't get it.

One minute I was driving, the next no brakes. Don't make sense.

And it's been fine up till now?

I was driving it this morning, no problem.

And where do you park your car normally?

Just out on the Square. Why?

What do you think we should do?

Well, why should we do anything?

Dad, don't you think we should maybe call this off? No, what for?

Well, it seems a little weird, us all having a party...

With all this going on. We don't know what's going on, do we?

Phil might have sprained his big toe, for all we know.

Yeah, but it's not just Phil, though, is it?

No, it's Carl as well. Carl(!)

Geezer's an accident waiting to happen. A nutter with no brains.

Only a matter of time, weren't it? Dad! Really?

Babe, do you think we should call the party off

cos Carl's had a scrape?

No, I suppose not. No, well, there you go. See?

Well, we'll take Alfie's car. Yeah.

My Capri, what...? Yeah, yeah, course.

I'll grab the keys. I'll meet you round there, all right?

You OK? Why wouldn't I be?

Well, I know that you and Phil aren't together any more

but you don't just turn it off, do you? I do.

You turned it off all right with Ollie.

Yeah, well, I didn't really know him that long, did I?

Shall I go over there, do you think?

No, no, no, Billy will tell you if there's any news.

All right, Jay?

It's all right, lighten up, enjoy the party.

Phil's going to be fine. He might not be.

Here you are. You boys are staying, aren't you? MEN: Yeah.

Oh, Mrs Rickman, I was thinking...

If it puts your mind at ease,

why not pop into the school some time and sit in on a lesson, maybe?

And what good would that do?

You just don't like Denny, end of story.

I'm not paid to like or not like...

Well, it's a good job when it comes to my son.

I'm paid to teach, which I do and I don't discriminate.

Well, you won't have to put up with him much longer.

I've made some calls

and it seems there's another school that might take him on.

So, fingers crossed, eh? All round.

Lola, do you want me to look after Lexi?

No.

You don't know how long you're going to be down there for, do you?

You don't want to be fussing over her. Come on, Lo.

Yeah.

Thanks, Shirl.

Come on, don't look like that.

Phil, he's tough as old boots, he always has been.

Yeah, well, from what the police said to Pops,

he's going to have to be, ain't he?

Why?

He... he went through the windscreen, Shirl.

Look at Lexi. She's tiny. She hardly even knows him.

What if he...

Oi, oi, come on. Listen, sweetheart, Shirl's right, you know.

Phil's as tough as they come. Ain't that right, Billy?

Alfie, he's not exactly a spring chicken.

Yeah, and something like that... What?

No, no, no, no, Alfie's right. He's Phil Mitchell.

He's tough as they come, ain't he?

Come on, let's go. Yeah, all right.

All right, mate - keys are in there.

Well, did you talk to her?

I wanted to ask you something first.

Look, words are easy to say when everything's going OK.

And at the moment, Jean's fine

and you two could get back together and everything'd be great.

And here you are, rabbiting on about your rhubarb.

Bit early for rhubarb. I don't really care.

Radishes, maybe... Ollie, shut up!

But then what if things aren't so great, yeah?

And Jean don't want to talk about rhubarb and radishes,

when she's going through one of her phases.

What are you going to do then?

Because you ain't been that impressive so far.

What, are you asking me for some sort of guarantee?

Yeah, maybe.

Well, I don't know, do I?

I mean, it's all new territory for me.

I mean, obviously I'm going to try... Trying's not good enough.

No, "trying" means you might fail and then you'll let her down

and I can't have that, cos I know what it would do to her.

Well... No, Ollie, don't say any more.

I've got my answer. I can see it in your eyes.

And you've got yours, yeah?

For Jean's sake - stay away from her.

All right, come over. There's plenty over there.

Go on, get stuck in. No, I've had too many.

No, I can't... Plenty to go round.

Jack, here you are.

No, you're all right, mate. Listen, I know you don't like Carl.

I can't stand him.

Just tone it down a little bit, will you?

Cos this ain't just about Carl. This is about Phil 'an all.

I tried warning him an' all.

What? I told him, stay away from him,

don't have nothing to do with him.

It was only going to end one way, weren't it?

Yeah, what does that mean?

What do you want? Crocodile tears? I'm not going to pretend, am I?

If something's happened to Carl and he's hurt, badly hurt,

what do you want me to say? I'm happy.

Here, Alfie... All right, Beale?

Yeah. Have I just seen Billy Mitchell driving your motor?

Yeah, cos I've lent it to him.

You've lent that idiot your pride and joy?

Oi, calm down! I had no choice!

They've all gone to the hospital. They'll need one, the way he drives.

Phil and Carl have had a crash.

Just brings it home, don't it?

Life's too short. Oh, don't start again.

I don't see what the problem is. I mean, Kat can cope on the stall.

Is she's going to take on my kids an' all?

I can manage them for six weeks.

Me and Whit had no problem when you were away...

It's not just that, it's the money.

Well, Jack said he'd help any of us out. So I'm down to begging now?

Course not! I mean, why don't you just think of it as a loan

if it makes you feel better? Yeah, and then I'll be in debt.

I've only just heard. Is there any news?

No, Billy's going to ring Jay when he hears anything about Phil.

OK, and what about Carl?

We ain't heard nothing about him.

So it means he's probably all right, innit?

No, not necessarily.

Everyone knows Phil, so everyone'll be thinking about him.

Whereas no-one knows Carl

and something could have happened to him - something bad,

something really bad - and we wouldn't know about it.

MOBILE RINGS Look, I was just saying...

All right?

Babe, where are they going?

I don't know. People aren't really in the party mood any more.

I ain't done the toast yet, have I?

Carol, might need your help in a bit, babe.

Oh.

Yeah, and I might need your help, actually.

She's just an over-protective parent, that's all.

You must have had them before.

Not as bad as that one.

She can't see any wrong in him at all. Takes it as an insult

if I even try suggesting that he's not totally perfect.

She really has got to you, hasn't she?

It's not that.

What, then?

Pushy parents I can handle.

It's just that, well, what she said -

part of it's right, I suppose.

I don't take sides - you know that - and I don't discriminate,

not in the classroom, I really don't.

But?

It's just that kid. I can't help it.

He's a nasty little bully.

MOBILE RINGS

B, this is your moment, you know. Your time.

You get one chance in life to do something you really want to do.

You've got to go for it. I can't believe you lot.

I try my best, I put my family first, my kids first,

I do not swan off doing what I want to do, I'm responsible,

and all I get is a load of verbals.

So it is what you want to do, then? You told me it wasn't.

No, I can't just think of myself.

I'm not thinking of you. I'm thinking about the stall.

Maybe if we sell your designs, we might make a bit of money.

None of this is the problem, though, is it? What?

I mean, not the real problem.

It's not the stall, or the kids, or the money - that's all sorted.

It's you. You're the problem. You're just bottling it.

Babe, you carry on like this, I really will start to wonder.

Wonder what?

About you and Carl. Look at you - face down on the floor.

Obviously I'm concerned.

Wouldn't you be if something happened to Tanya?

Yeah, but she ain't pond life, is she? That's the difference.

He's as tough as old boots.

What? Phil.

He made it through the op.

You didn't know, did you?

Know what? What's happened?

It's almost like you're revelling in all this. In what?

The crash. Carl being hurt.

You're doing a toast, you don't want anyone to leave...

No, it's just that Jack's ex, Ronnie, she gets out Monday.

Jack's pretending he don't care... Yeah, but he does. Course he does.

Babe, that's why I'm trying to make all this extra special, all right?

Yeah.

Yeah, OK.

I mean, Carl is just the icing on the cake, ain't he?

Max is just about to do the toast.

Do you really think I could do this? The course?

I know you could.

So does Whit...Jack... and Kat...and Max.

Just leaves you.

Have you heard any more about Phil? No.

Are they back?

No. Billy just asked me to come round

and make sure everything was locked up and safe.

I saw the gate open and I thought they might be back.

Fancy a cup of tea?

Right, listen up, everyone. Please...

Thank you. Bit of quiet. Hope you've all got a glass.

Right, just to say thanks for coming.

I think we all know why we're here.

Just to let Jack know that it doesn't matter that he's another

year older and that none of us mind he's starting to lose his hair.

Just a little bit.

Just a little bit? Just at the front there. What's he talking about?

But seriously, I mean, it ain't been the best year for the Brannings.

There might be the odd difficult day ahead, so...

Well, today's just a chance to put all that behind us

and raise our glasses and say cheers,

happy birthday and well, here's to the future.

Happy birthday.

ALL: Happy birthday.

Max.

Are you Max Branning of number 5, Albert Square?

Yeah. DS Dunstable. DC Penrith.

Look, strippers have arrived. LAUGHTER

Glad you find this amusing, sir.

We suspect you of tampering with a motor vehicle.

I'm arresting you on suspicion of causing criminal damage

with the intent to endanger life.

You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence

if you do not mention when questioned

something which you later rely on in court.

Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

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