10/09/2013 EastEnders

Where's Roxy?

She's supposed to be here. I'm supposed to be meeting her.

I don't think she's coming.

-Why not?

-You'd have to ask to her.

Is she OK?

Yeah, she's fine.

Then she'll be here, then, won't she?

Ronnie.

I didn't come to have a go.

Why did you come, then?

Honestly?

I don't know.

Hospital beds, eh? Worse than sleeping rough.

What are you doing here?

-I feel bad.

-Is that right?

-Yeah.

Max was after me. Phil got caught up in it?

Max? So that's true?

It should be me lying there.

And yet here you are.

-Shirley, what do you want?

-It can wait.

NOISY SPARRING

PHONE VIBRATES

DOOR BURSTS OPEN

All right, love?

OK...

I didn't mean to. It was a mistake.

I was just trying to get Kim to be quiet and...

Then she was just standing there and I couldn't take it back...

What? Who was standing there?

-Kirsty.

-What have you done?

Ronnie, don't walk away from me. I haven't come for a fight.

He's nearly three now. He's a really lovely little boy.

He's kind, he shares his toys with other kids.

And he's really funny. He's a right little clown.

Got a picture here.

Roxy should really be here by now.

-He's beautiful.

-Ain't he?

What else? Oh, yeah. His favourite food is eggs and soldiers.

He likes to smash the egg on its head,

and I have to take the lid off cos he hates getting shell in his mouth.

-Why are you telling me all this?

-I don't know.

Cos you was his mum for three-and-a-half months,

106 days, if you're counting - cos I was.

I just thought you'd like to know how he was doing.

-I was never his mum, Kat.

-No?

Then who was? Cos it wasn't me.

I didn't get to cuddle him when he was crying,

I didn't get to bathe his little newborn body.

I wasn't there for him.

-You was.

-Please...

You thought I'd forgiven you?

So did I.

I must've blacked out. Don't remember much.

No?

Yeah, me neither, to be honest.

I'd better shoot off. It's good to see you on the mend, Phil.

I expect we'll see you back on the Square pretty soon?

-Not if these nurses get their way.

-Yeah. Like a prison, innit?

-If you need anything, let me know, yeah?

-Cheers.

Good to see you, Shirley.

What is he doing here, acting like a mate?

How did he get off so lightly?

-Must've been wearing his seatbelt.

-What, and you weren't?

Thought I was, but it's just one of them things you do, ain't it?

But you didn't?

Shirley, what is this?

What're you doing here? You come to have a go?

Get on with it, cos I'm a sitting duck here, ain't I?

-I need to change your dressing. Will you give us a moment?

-Yeah.

-What are you going to do?

-You need to go home.

-What? Why?

-Abi, please, please, just leave.

But I've only just got here!

I haven't got time to explain. Just go.

-Will I still get paid?

-Yes.

Oi! Come here!

I need a word with you! Ian!

Ian!

HAMMERING ON DOOR

Ian! I want a word with you!

Open this door now! I swear I am going to stay here.

I thought it didn't matter to me, you getting out.

But then Alfie kept going on about how scared he was

and I realised I was just kidding myself.

Did Roxy say why she wasn't coming?

Cos feelings, they don't really change, do they?

-Have you tried counselling?

-Counselling?

Yeah, I had some when I was inside. I thought it really helped.

Feelings - they hide away for so long that you think they're gone,

and then one day you're just bowling along, having a giggle

and this little voice whispers in your ear,

"You didn't see his first smile."

And it's like having your chest just ripped open all over again.

And no-one realises because you just carry on laughing,

but your heart is there on the floor just being trampled on.

I never said that before.

Weird, innit?

I shouldn't have come here.

-This is no good. This has made me feel worse...

-Look, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

The last thing I wanted to do was cause you any pain.

Look, I'm going to be gone soon, all right?

Me and Roxy, we're going to start up a business together,

we're going back to Ibiza.

What?

Nothing.

I did say she's not coming, though, didn't I?

What makes you so sure?

It's nothing to do with me.

What isn't?

-Please, Kat...

-I've got to go.

-Wait!

Can I borrow your phone?

She's my sister. I need to talk to her.

PHONE RINGS

What, Kat?

'Roxy?'

Hungry yet, darling?

'Rox? Roxy?'

All right. Who was that?

Voicemail. Hair appointment.

What're you talking about? Your hair looks lovely. You look gorgeous.

She cut me off.

Why would she do that? What's happened?

Please, Kat, I know I'm the last person that you want to tell

and, believe me, you're the last person that I want to ask,

but I'm in the dark here. I've got no choice.

Ain't it obvious?

She's chosen Alfie.

Alfie?

She didn't tell you?

Tell me what?

Why don't we talk about this somewhere else?

No! Tell me now.

Roxy and Alfie are getting married.

Have you got a moment?

MUFFLED THUMPING ON DOOR

It's not great news, I'm afraid...

Ian!

Lauren, are you listening to me?

Sorry, Sadie, I'll be back in a minute, yeah?

I'll camp out here all night if I have to, Ian.

Kirsty? What's happening?

Ask your mate.

Ask her why her dad's grassed yours up.

What? Ian's the witness?

What are you on about? That's not true.

No? Then why's he in there hiding from me, too scared to face me?

Ian!

HAMMERING ON DOOR

Oh, Ian, this is ridiculous.

Yeah, why are you hiding?

Look, is this about my dad?

He's not hiding anything.

Ian, will you open the damn door and talk to the woman? Or I will.

Ian, I'm just going to stay here, I swear. Get out here now!

All right, all right.

-Let's just talk about this in a calm and reasonable manner, yeah?

-Oi.

Get in!

-What have you done?

-I didn't mean to cause any trouble or anything,

-I just told the police what I saw, that was all.

-You liar!

What, Ian's the witness?

-No, Jack, Jack! What are you doing?

-Jack, stop it!

You are going to go to the station,

you're going to retract your statement and tell the truth.

-Jack, I'm telling the truth. You've got to believe me.

-He is.

I'm just telling the truth. I just told them what I saw

and it was Max, all right? It was Max.

Jack, why would I lie to you?

I do not need this stress.

I've got nothing against your family. But if you do not back off,

I will have you done for witness intimidation. I'm telling the truth.

Are you serious? Are you buying this?

Why's he going to tell a lie?

Maybe because someone blackmailed him?

Or maybe he's just a twisted psycho that gets off on all the attention.

Who's this one, calling you sick?

-Kirsty, back off.

-What, you believe it?

I don't know, but this ain't going to do Max any favours, is it?

Just going to get him in more trouble.

This ain't over.

All right, come on, girls. Come on.

Oi. You don't really think my dad could do this, do you?

Ian, I quit.

You OK?

-Sorry about that.

-Everything OK?

Not really.

What is it?

Just, I feel like the whole world is against us sometimes.

You think you can trust someone,

then you turn around and they stab you in the back.

Sorry. What was it that you wanted to talk about earlier?

Why don't we go out after work, have a cup of tea?

We can have a chat then.

Can't, sorry. Got my counselling session.

It's not going to be a problem, is it?

Cos I'm coping really well with it. It's just...

It will not affect my work, I promise.

I cheated. He kicked me out.

And Roxy and Alfie...

It didn't take too long.

I can't believe it.

Cos sometimes you just can't move past stuff.

What stuff?

When we thought we'd lost Tommy, we stopped talking.

Then when we got him back, we...

just didn't know how to start again.

We could turn it on for the punters,

but as soon as we were locked up, we were just like strangers.

-I'm so sorry...

-Don't be.

I had the affair. No-one forced me.

So how long have Roxy and Alfie been together?

No, don't tell me.

Was it Christmas?

Yeah, that makes sense. She stopped seeing me for a while.

She said she went to visit Auntie Peggy.

You angry with her?

No. No, I get it.

Roxy, she's...

She's like a big kid.

She needs to believe that the world is straightforward,

and that it makes sense.

If anything gets in the way of that, she just blocks it out.

It's like the time when I told her about my dad.

I told her about what he'd...

She didn't believe me.

Well, not at first, anyway.

That's your biggest fear, innit?

Being called a liar on top of everything else?

So you don't say anything for years,

and the poison just pumps round and round.

You feel like you're going crazy.

Kat...

Would it be all right if I looked at that photo again?

Maybe they would've been friends.

Tommy and James.

Maybe.

Yeah, maybe.

Just the man I want to see.

-Oh, yeah?

-Got a little job for you.

-Is that right?

-Yeah. I'm bringing in some cars.

You've just got to give them the once-over, fix some plates to them.

-Are they legit?

-What do you think?

I'm paying a lot of money.

I don't know, you know.

Stick to your pocket money, then.

Actually, no, no. We're in.

Does Amy live at the Vic too?

Yeah.

And does Jack see her much?

He's there sometimes when I drop Tommy off.

How is he, Jack, is he all right?

Why? Do you still think about him?

Occasionally.

I should go.

And what are you going to do?

-I don't know. Maybe I'll go to Ibiza on my own.

-Tonight?

Roxy was going to sort out the cash,

so I'll have to think of something else.

You've not got a mate you could call on?

A mate?

Someone you met inside?

I did share a cell with a woman. She was all right.

And then she found out what I was in for.

So I kept my head down after that.

How did you deal with it?

By making plans with Roxy, and counting the days until I got out.

Probably just as well I didn't know the truth.

Look, I'm sorry, this isn't your problem.

Don't worry about me. I'll find myself a hostel. Make a plan.

Do you know how much money they give you? £42.

"Treat yourself," the bloke said.

"What, like, buy myself a pair of shoes?" I said.

-"If you're anything like the wife," he said.

-Men, eh?

Don't worry. I'll get this.

Thank you.

Ronnie...

Come back to the Square with me.

I can't believe you're buying it.

Jack!

Kat went to meet Ronnie.

Kat? Why?

I don't know. Do you think she's going to be OK?

Bit late for that question, ain't it?

I'm going to speak to her. I'm going to find out where she is

-and I'm going to explain everything.

-You don't have to justify it.

I couldn't face her myself.

You ready? All right, Jack.

Right, see you later, girls. Call me if there's a crisis.

Jack.

What?

He's got to be lying.

But why would he stir trouble up just for the sake of it?

-Max is your own brother, you don't trust him?

-No, all I'm saying is,

sometimes people get backed into a corner, all right?

They do weird things. Maybe he's convinced himself it's the truth.

Oh, look, he's not mental.

You saw him kick off last week, didn't you?

Carl has got right inside his head, it's wound him right up.

Who knows what he's capable of?

It'd give you a chance to talk to Roxy properly.

-No, I can't.

-Yeah, you can. You can stay at mine.

-Yours?

-Yeah. Just for one night.

You haven't got to see anyone. You just lie low,

and get a decent night's kip.

Kat, why are you doing this?

I don't know. I don't get it either.

I suppose it's like when you're a kid

and you think there's something under the bed

and the more you think about it, the bigger and scarier it gets.

Then when you finally get the guts to have a look,

it's just a pair of old socks.

You're just a pair of old socks.

What about everyone else? Do they think the same?

What about Jack?

What about Alfie?

I can't answer that.

Are you coming or not?

Is he going to be all right?

Having a much-needed rest.

How was counselling?

Yeah, it was all right. A mate of mine didn't turn up, though.

Oh, well, you'll probably see her next time.

You've got a visitor.

Hi.

I'm sorry to call round in the evening,

but I couldn't let this drag on.

Drag on?

I feel really bad about this, Lauren,

but I'm going to have to let you go.

Is this about what happened earlier, me running off,

-because I swear that will not happen again.

-It's nothing to do with that.

Your private life is nothing to do with me.

The thing is...

I took you on as a favour to your dad.

What?

He's been subbing me.

And now he's in prison, and...

I feel awful, but I just can't afford to keep it up.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

I just overheard. Are you OK?

I've been trying really, really hard, Abi.

But sometimes I want to pick up a bottle and drink and drink

until I just float away.

I can stay and help out if you like?

Look, I'm fine now. Honestly.

Alfie and Roxy are here, so I've given them menus.

Love, thanks for stepping in like this. I really appreciate it.

I'm proud of you, Dad. You've done the right thing.

See, at least some good has come out of all this, anyway.

I was thinking we could decorate the kids' rooms, you know,

make it a bit more girly for Amy,

maybe put up some princess wallpaper on one side...

You do know she's into monsters now, don't you?

OK, all right, we'll do some aliens with fangs.

Then when the time's right, we'll move Tommy's old cot in our room.

You still want that, yeah?

-I should have gone to meet her.

-I wouldn't have stopped you.

I know. I'm a coward.

Rox...

You know I couldn't face seeing her? I couldn't risk it.

Risk? What...?

Do you know what R&R stands for?

I can guess, yeah.

Yeah, Ronnie and Roxy, not the other way around. OK?

It's always been that way, and it always will be that way.

That's why I know if I'd gone to meet her,

I'd have just been sucked right back in.

R&R.

So you did the right thing.

-Here, mate. Cheers.

-Ta, love.

Ronnie?

All right?

Is there anyone about?

No, it's all right. Come on.

Hello?

Who do you live with?

Me.

Kathleen.

A word.

DOOR CLOSES

It's only for one night. Just till she gets her head straight.

Give her a chance to speak to Roxy.

Michael, she's got nothing. She's all on her own.

So? She stole our child!

Look, this was a mistake.

Michael is clearly not comfortable with me being here.

I am fine, Ronnie. It's you I worry about.

But if you can handle the looks and the whispers

and the grubby little asides, then fair play to you.

I'm just here to see Roxy. Then I'm going.

How can you be sure she wants to see you?

I'm not sure about anything.

Apart from the fact that I am not scared of you.

That... That's not what I'm trying to achieve here.

I know you, Michael.

I'm not sure you do. I'm redeemed.

I am, I'm a changed man. Aren't I, Kathleen?

I'm a dad now. I have a girl.

Scarlett.

Well, congratulations.

Thank you very much. It's great, isn't it? Being a parent.

Amazing. Really nourishing.

And now I get it, of course.

HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS

Why you did what you did.

The pain you must have felt...

when James died.

Look, I'm sure Ronnie's really tired.

I admire you, you know. I really do. Coming back here.

Facing people - Jack, Sharon...

I'm not here for him.

The last thing I want to do is mess up his marriage.

-Bit late for that, darling.

-Sorry?

She didn't tell you that either?

Jack called it off. They broke up months ago.

It's a ticket to Greece.

I bought it with the money that I nicked from your safe.

Look at you.

You've ruined it.

How can it even be possible, eh?

After everything you've done to me...

..I still can't enjoy watching you suffer.

Ignore Michael. You know what he's like.

Settee OK for tonight?

Yeah, course.

I'll get you some bedding.

I heard you.

Well, I'm not giving it back.

I didn't mean that.

Keep it. Should have given it to you in the first place.

Shirl, I know that...

I know I can never make it up to you

and I know that you'll never forgive me,

but you're right. I do owe you.

What you saying this for?

I want you to be happy.

You deserve to be happy, don't you?

It's good to see you.

What are you doing here?

I wanted to see you.

Why? What do you want?

I know...

I know you didn't get married.

So what? I'm just supposed to throw my arms open to you, am I?

No. No, of course not.

-Jack, look, please...

-It's a mistake.

It was a mistake, you coming back.

No-one wants you here,

not even your own sister.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd