04/02/2014 EastEnders

Dad, why are you not picking up?

Call me when you get this.

Mum...

There's, um...

There's something you should know.

If he don't come back, Carol, I can always run you to hospital.

I'm going to get a cab, Max. He's not coming back.

You say that like you're happy about it.

You're a big fan of his now, are you?

No. But I've been through all this with Tanya.

I know you need as many people round you as you can get.

FRONT DOOR OPENS

You probably wouldn't want him along anyway. Mum?

I'll make some breakfast. Do you fancy a fry up?

I heard her crying last night.

I'm going to kill him when I see him.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Yo, Tamwar! It's Fats, man.

Yo, come on, brother, please.

MASOOD GROANS

I could really do with a friend right now, man.

Come on, let's break some bread. Let's make parley. Let's make peace.

Cos this, me and you not talking, ain't really doing it for me, bro.

Mr Mas. What happened to you? You been scuffing?

Tam's not here.

HE REJECTS CALL

DOG BARKS

I only asked how long he was staying.

Yeah, all innocent. Not like you wanted him out or anything.

I'm sorry, all right? Whatever he needs.

Do you want us to check into an hotel, give him a bit of space?

-Don't burn the eggs!

-Dad, he just needs a mate.

-Oh, hello, love.

-Morning, Tam! Did you sleep all right?

-Yeah. Thanks for putting me up.

-That's all right.

-Oh, took a bit of a clump there, haven't you, son?

-Who did that?

Er, kids.

-Anyway, I should go, I've got a meeting with Mr Shirov.

-No.

Oi, you're staying for breakfast, all right?

And I won't take no, cos you'll upset Lady Di.

And she's got issues.

Go on, sit down.

-SHE MOUTHS:

-Thank you.

SNORING

You are joking?

Oh...

One man on a mission to bring comfort

and confidence to women everywhere.

What a guy.

Why couldn't I have shower gel or cigarettes?

That's what happens when you sell your soul.

I'm just keeping our kids in warm clothes.

Anyway, how are you after last night?

-How did you let me get so drunk?

-Me?

I can't remember a thing.

Cheers, Max.

So you didn't fancy a hotel, then, no?

I came back late, didn't I? I was going to go round but...

People been talking?

Er, yeah. Yeah. Everyone thinks you done a runner.

All right. Have a go.

-Thanks to me, everyone knows about Carol, don't they?

-Yeah.

I don't know, maybe that's for the best.

I mean, trust me, keeping secrets - it don't always work out.

So, this test, the genetic thing. They just take some blood?

Yeah, it's over in a couple of seconds.

-And when will you get the results?

-Breakfast!

I don't know, love. A month or two.

-Is it one month or two?

-Are you not meant to be on the stall?

No, Kat's doing it. I'm working late.

Listen, I promise I'll let you know the exact dates when I know,

all right? You'll know everything I know.

Hey. You hungry?

Well, suit yourselves, then, I'm starving. Right, come on, then.

I want Morgan's bacon, Tiff's sausages...

-No! That's not fair! Nan!

-Hey, there is enough! There you are, darling.

-Who wants some bacon with it?

-Yeah, go on, I'll have some.

-What time are you finished today?

-Seminars till twelve. Then library.

-You seen Family Law?

-Ha! Now there's a contradiction in terms, eh?

You'll be here for tea?

I thought it'd be nice to invite Whitney over.

So it was kids, then, knocked you out?

-Yeah. Well, grown-up ones.

-Why do you want Whitney over?

-Or adults, as they're commonly known?

-Dad!

It's good to have guests. It forces your dad to use table manners.

It was dark, so... Is she always like...?

Flirtatious? Only with the lookers.

I wouldn't show her too much leg, cos it drives her insane.

-There it is.

-So you'll invite her, then?

- Yeah, whatever. Laters. - Oh!

-Chief!

-And they didn't even take your phone? This is what I'm saying.

Kids of today - ain't even got the decency to rob you!

What's this meeting with your boss about, then?

-Me getting sacked, probably.

-What did you do?

Er, I think, on balance, being born was the first crime

and then it all stemmed from there, really.

What are you, the local Eeyore?

No wonder Piglet's got her eye on you!

-Wow!

-That's enough, Mick.

No, he's just a bit...niche.

MOBILE VIBRATES

Anyway, I should go home and get my suit.

Do you want me to come with you?

Please.

I genuinely have to get away from these people.

Yeah, yeah.

See you later, love.

Yeah, mind how you go. Keep your nut up.

We get this plant to look after until Easter

but Emma reckons she'll get her mum to get her a new one then,

cos they do die and they all look the same, anyway.

You ain't getting a new one, just water the one you've got!

-Not eating much?

-No. Do you know, I'm not really very hungry.

-When's Grandad coming back?

-Soon. He's only at work.

-He only works over there!

-Oi!

You all right, Tiff?

Yeah, she's fine. She was keeping me up talking all night.

Weren't you? Told you you'd be moody today.

What's going on, Tiff?

She's fine, she's just tired.

Well, she can answer. Go on, darling.

Grandad's...

Grandad's gone cos you're sick, isn't he?

Look, I'm sorry but they heard you talking. I had to tell them.

Are you sick?

I've got something that the doctors want to look at, so...

that's what they're going to do.

Liam said you're going to hospital today.

Yeah, I'm just going to go for a blood test, though.

-It's nothing serious.

-What's it for?

Just to know exactly, you know...

-what it is I've got.

-But I thought...

Yeah, but there is different types. Right?

-Is it like what Nana Pat had?

-No, it's not like Nana Pat.

Though Nanny will have to go into hospital sometimes.

Promise you'll be OK.

Yeah, don't worry. You're not going to have to get another me at Easter.

I'll be all right, I promise.

DOOR OPENS

-What's that?

-What's it look like?

It's a shirt. I got it off the market.

Your one don't look too fresh.

You worried I'll scare the customers off?

You spoke to her?

-Yeah.

-And?

She all right?

About the test? I mean, it's today, innit?

And you're here talking to me.

-She don't want me over there!

-No, she don't want to marry you.

I was thinking, why would you ask her?

As if she's going to go for something like that.

Then I worked it out. You wanted a no, didn't you?

-Why, exactly?

-So you could jump ship.

No-one can say anything cos you proposed to her, didn't you?

-I asked her cos I love her!

-And you're here talking to me.

-She pushed me away.

-Right, well, push her back.

David, she's over there acting like it's all a walk in the park

but she needs you.

And that.

That ain't for here.

It's for the hospital.

All right.

Yeah, I'll do tonight. Thanks, Geraldine!

Listen, I'll call you later. Got to go! All right, bye, babe.

Thanks, darling. Bye.

I've got 12 months of that ad plastered all over my cab.

Where's TJ?

He went in early. To play football with his mates before lessons.

I wanted to see him.

Makes a change.

Will he be back later?

Yeah, but...maybe you shouldn't be.

Look, what happened last night can't happen again.

Hi, Mum!

Hello, darling. Look at you in your school uniform.

-You are cute as a button!

-Come on, Spud, let's get you in.

-I'll take her.

-What?

Don't look so shocked. We'll get the bus, eh?

-Yeah.

-Be fun, won't it? Yeah!

Tie...

Tie...

Tam, it's me. Can you call me, please? I'm worried about you.

Please.

DOOR OPENS

Tam, there you are! I've been calling you.

Here, let me have a look. Please, Tamwar!

He won't be long.

Have you seen my referral letter?

No, I haven't. Mum, sorry about the kids.

I'll have to go without it. Right, I'm going to get a cab.

I'll get Terry, shall I? Make sure that cow's done one.

Do you know what, I would really prefer to go on my own.

Oi, you, you should be halfway to school!

Yeah, I know. But...

Grandad's outside.

Your chariot awaits.

I'll call a cab.

Chariot?

Carol?

Carol!

School. Now.

Yeah, can I have a cab, please? As soon as possible.

You're not getting a cab.

-31 Albert Square.

-I've got a car out there! She's getting a cab.

-Walford General.

-What a waste of money.

-I'm here, ain't I? I'm here.

-Carol Jackson.

-Carol, listen to me!

-Thanks a lot. Bye.

-There's a car out there. Let me take you. Please.

Let me. I'm here, ain't I?

Oh, for crying out loud!

Why does it always have to be so big with you?

"Will you marry me? Me chariot's outside."

Why don't you just do the small stuff?

Right. You want the small stuff?

I'll do the small stuff!

I've got three ties.

I've lost them all.

Zainab - that's Tam's mum -

it drove her mad.

I mean, where are you supposed to put them?

You hang them on hangers and they just end up

in a heap on the floor?

-Ready?

-Mm-hm.

Tam.

Could we just have a minute, please?

Guess not.

Is there anything you want to say? Cos I'm running late.

Don't we look smart?

Yeah, well, you know, we're both getting fired today, so...

So I have to miss the whole day?

Unless you can recover from flu in record time.

Rose, I'd have been well happy

if my mum took me out of school to go shopping.

Mum...

are you flying off again?

Why do you say that?

Because you only do this when you're flying off.

Let's just find you a nice dress, eh, silly?

-But I like school.

-I know!

Morning, B. Have you seen Tam?

No, I ain't. Sorry.

-All right, cool.

-You all right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Course. If you see him, can you let me know?

-Yeah, course.

All right, thanks.

-I'm looking for a dress.

-Shouldn't you be at school?

You all right, Bianca?

Oh, still here? You do have a home, don't you?

Come on, Rosie. I said a treat, not a hand-me-down.

Have you got anything that's like an aphrodisiac?

-No, sorry.

-Hello.

-All right, Linda?

-How you doing?

Yeah, not bad.

You know, in the movies,

the plucky hero always gets knocked back first time.

Plucky hero?

Thanks.

Course, the bad guy gets knocked back every time.

Cheers.

Just one chocolate bar, Rosie.

Hi. You making dinner?

Yeah, that's all I'm good for, Nikki. Making dinner.

Over and over again.

I'm sorry. I don't know what Carol's playing at, saying no.

Don't tell me you heard an' all?

Please tell me just one person missed my humiliation.

It wasn't a humiliation.

It was romantic.

It's not your fault she didn't see that.

Look, I've got to get these prawns in the fridge.

But thanks for your support, Nikki.

Appreciate that.

Mrs Jackson?

KNOCK ON DOOR

Yeah?

Mr Tamwar Masood.

Well...

it seems I'm not as good a judge of character as I thought.

I guess not.

So you're a thief

and now a hooligan, too?

Don't tell me, you just walked into a door and nothing is your fault.

No. It's all my fault, actually.

Wait! Wait!

-What have you told him?

-Sorry, this is a private meeting.

Yeah, well, whatever he said, I stole the money.

It was me.

-If you can roll up your sleeve.

-Yeah, course.

Now, we're just going to take some blood. Very quick.

When...when do we get the results?

Usually in four weeks.

OK.

Oh, you've got good veins.

Now, it's just a little scratch.

Oh, sorry... I can't...

Do you need a glass of water?

Four weeks, and then they say, "No, it's OK," or

"Yes, you, your children and your grandchildren

"have all got it"?

If you test positive, we can test them too.

They have a 50% chance of having the cancer gene if you do.

It's best not to think beyond the next stage.

You've got your first session of chemo tomorrow.

-That's going to be tough. That's the next thing.

-No.

No, the next thing is me having dinner with Tiff

and Bianca round the table.

Sorry, do you know what? I just... I just need a minute.

Sorry.

You have to understand, my boy is very, very good at his job.

He locked that door.

I stole the keys, and I let myself in without his knowledge.

But you are his father.

Yeah.

Yeah, I let him down.

Please, don't punish him, he's not the criminal here.

I'll put the money back. I'll go to the police with you...

-Dad, no!

-Just don't sack him.

Is what your father says true?

Right.

Then I'll take the money from your pay and we'll forget about it.

Really?

As you say, your son is not the criminal here.

Hey.

-You OK?

-Yeah.

My mum invited you for dinner. Any idea why?

-Maybe she likes my company?

-As if!

So you'll come, then?

-Yeah, course I will.

-Cool. See you, then?

All right.

Dad, shouldn't you be at your hearing?

-They'll manage without me.

-You've got to defend yourself.

How can I?

I'm sorry, Tam.

I really am. I'm not a violent man, you know that.

I woke up this morning and I just...

I love you.

You're my boy.

I love you.

Hey. Yo, Tam, man, I've been looking for you everywhere.

-Yo, bruv, what happened to you?

-I've got to go.

-Wait! Us being enemies...

-Fats! Back off, OK? I've got to go!

You're a funny guy, ain't ya?

I had some woman stop me the other day asking me

if I sell them out the boot. What, you took yours off?

And they don't check up?

Hold on. Yeah, listen, I'm going to have to call you back, fella.

Yeah, all right, on the ice.

What's she doing off school?

-We got heels! Show him!

-Heels?!

Put them on. The boys are going to go crazy for you!

Nik, she's ten years old.

You're never too young for haute couture, Terry.

-Well, she don't like that kind of thing.

-She loves them.

Tell him.

You loved them earlier.

-Rose?

-She ain't like you, Nik.

-What, a trolley dolly?

-I never said that.

-Look, I think it's time that you...

-Listen, you've made your feelings

quite clear there, Terry.

I don't know what to say. I'm...

I didn't know I was capable of this.

I mean, it's not me.

-It's the drinking.

-Don't drink, then.

Not a drop again. Never. I swear.

Tam, you know what, I don't know what that was out there, bruv,

-but this is killing me, yeah? You're my boy.

-Yeah, we're just in

a family meeting right now.

What's...what's with the battle scars?

-Did you do this?

-Just leave us alone, Fats, please.

-Did he do this?

-I don't want to speak to you, OK? We're not mates.

-You don't steal from a mate.

-So if you could just...

-Tam. Tam, did he hit you?

None of your business!

Listen, I can't do this. I can't do it no more, all right?

I can't do it no more.

-I didn't touch your uni fund.

-Fatboy...

He stole your uni fund, all right?

And I took the rap cos I thought it would help, but clearly not!

Did you steal my uni fund?

And he gambled it. He gambled it all.

I'll pay it back. I'll put it all back! Tam!

You just destroyed our family.

Nah.

You done that all by yourself.

-What are you doing here?

-Nothing.

Right, you on a school trip? Where's your teacher?

I picked this up this morning.

Oh, right, that's where that went.

-OK. You need to go back to school.

-But you haven't had it done yet.

How do you know?

Cos when you came out, the nurse said to the other nurse that

-they'd try and squeeze you in later.

-What, you followed me in?

Liam, why are you here?

Cos Grandad isn't.

What's that got to do with anything?

When I was in here, you'd come and visit me.

Bring a magazine to read whilst I was on my phone.

I was just probably avoiding doing the house work.

And when I came home...

..I started having all them nightmares.

You'd come and sit with me.

You always waited until I'd fell asleep properly.

I never heard you leave once.

Sometimes you just need a bit of company.

What you doing home?

What's it look like? You wanted the small stuff

so I'm doing the small stuff. I'm being a good little cook.

-Leave those.

-Mum don't like prawns.

-Yeah, she does.

-No, she don't!

She had a dodgy one while you was away, so she don't eat them no more.

For crying out loud!

What are you going to be like if this test comes back

and I've got this gene?

Or Tiff's got it?

We don't need this.

We didn't miss this this morning.

Mr Mas...

You know I had to tell him, right?

But there was no need for you to do this.

Did he say it was his dad?

No. He said it was them kids, remember?

Or he, like, hit his head or walked into something.

I can't bar him cos you've got a feeling.

What, so you're going to let him sit there and get tanked up so he can go home and do it again?

Hey, Tam, what's with the case, man?

You're not leaving, are you, bruv?

Oh, OK, I'll give you that space.

He's a good boy. He's a faithful friend.

"I'll never drink again, Tam. I swear."

I've packed your suitcase.

There's a suit in there for job interviews. Some other clothes.

Toothbrush, passport.

-Passport?

-In case you need it, wherever you go.

Hmm.

Are you throwing me out?

Yeah, I guess I am.

OK...

so are YOU going to pay the mortgage?

Or do you expect me to carry on, like an idiot?

Maybe.

Hmm. You see, that's what you people don't get.

That uni fund.

Everything you ever wore, everything you ever ate...

I paid for.

Not your mum. I worked for it.

I paid for all of it.

What's your point?

That was my money to take.

Just leave, Dad, OK. You're not wanted.

-Hiya.

-Home alone?

Yeah.

Oh, smells delicious!

Try telling them that.

I'd kill to have a man like you round the house.

Looking after everyone, taking charge.

You don't strike me as being the submissive type, Nikki.

I'm the anything-you-want type.

You on duty tonight?

I thought you might have an air hostess fantasy.

HE LAUGHS

Anything but real life.

So will sir be flying with us today?