24/03/2014 EastEnders

DOOR BANGS

ALFIE SIGHS Well?

I've been charged with perjury.

Got to go back to court in a few weeks.

Don't worry.

Duty solicitor reckons I'll just get a slap on the wrist, no more.

Unless you get a tough judge.

Then, Kat, you're going to be looking at a prison sentence.

The important thing is that we're all together. And guess what?

Janine's solicitor told me that she's dropped the charges.

You're in the clear.

That's brilliant!

-So it was worth it in the end.

-Yeah.

Listen, I'm going to get changed for work.

Bit early to open the van.

Yeah. There's just a lot I've got to sort out.

He'll get over it, you know Alfie.

So, what now?

You going back to your mum's?

No. She's staying here with us.

Aren't you?

I hadn't really thought about it.

I know Mum'd love to spend time with Lily.

She's been on the blower enough times.

Hold on - Jean is just a train ride away,

and it's not as if she's on her own. She's doing great with Ollie.

There's no reason why you can't pick up where you left off.

Everyone'll know that Janine lied about you stabbing her.

You've done nothing wrong.

There's so much here for you, Stace.

A cousin for Lily to grow up with.

Two more on the way. You got your job on the stall.

This is where you belong.

Look, Janine's got her happy ending - now it's your turn, yeah?

Morning, Mrs B. Sleep well?

Ugh, hardly slept a wink.

I think I've got one of my migraines coming on.

DOORBELL RINGS

Who's that?

Don't worry about it. I'll get it, all right?

What are you doing here so early?

Don't need a reason to visit, do I?

No, I suppose not. Ooh, I'll get you some breakfast.

How about I get you some breakfast? You're the one needs looking after.

No, I'm all right with this, thank you very much.

So listen, Mrs B, why don't I take the day off work

and come with you to see the vicar?

You know, to help sort out the funeral arrangements.

I think... I think I'll put it off till tomorrow.

Cos I've got a lot of housework to catch up on.

You know, we can help with that.

No. There is no need.

All right. OK.

She was like this all day yesterday.

There's not many people around here falling over themselves

to, you know, offer condolences.

I think it's really getting to her.

If you don't eat that, I will.

What is wrong with you today?

You been having that nightmare again?

What nightmare?

Tam keeps dreaming he's being attacked by a refuse truck.

I had that dream once.

Once, OK?! And it was a big truck, with proper teeth.

I'm going.

Listen, watch out for those street sweepers. They're like ninjas!

You know, a little bit of sensitivity wouldn't go amiss.

He's still raw about Alice.

Why? She got off.

Yeah, but she should never have been on trial in the first place.

Er, she did stab a bloke, after plotting to kill his wife, so...

Yeah, but she's a nice girl.

He wouldn't have gone out with her otherwise.

They weren't even together any more.

Yeah, but all the same,

we should try and find a way to cheer him up.

Fine. Fine. I'll do aloo gobi for lunch.

Might take a bit more than that.

He loves my aloo gobi.

OK.

Ready?

I don't think this is a very good idea.

Come on, it'll be all right.

Hello, Stacey!

I haven't seen you for a couple of years. How've you been?

Yeah, good. Are you living round here now?

Yeah. Can't keep away.

-See you.

-See you later.

See, I told you people would be fine.

-What brought her back here?

-Phil Mitchell.

Then it was Jack, for a while.

Then he dumped her and it was Phil again.

Now they're opening a bar together

and rumour has it it's going to be called The Last Chance Saloon!

THEY LAUGH

So she's sticking round, then?

Yeah, you know, Kat wants her to stay.

Listen, I'm really glad that Stacey's in the clear, course I am,

but it's not done my marriage any favours.

You can hardly judge Kat for telling porkies, can you?

I'm taking it she still don't know about the van?

No, I'm going to need to 'fess up.

At least then I stand a chance of keeping my wedding tackle,

-you know what I'm saying?

-Nah, you sop, you keep it quiet!

Look, that Nicole bird, she's long gone, right?

So Kat ain't going to find out anything from her, is she?

Just give it a few days, you'll find another van -

you'll find a better van.

Come on - you're Alfie Moon. You'll come up with something.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

Is that all you have?

Yeah.

Just as well you're in the box room.

Hang on - I thought we agreed I was taking the double.

That was before you offered to pay only half the deposit.

Do you want the room or not?

-Yeah.

-Good.

What's the matter with you?

What, you got a death wish, have you? Coming back round here.

I'm just looking to bed down somewhere,

get a job and rebuild my life.

I've got no intentions of going near Lauren.

THUNDER ROLLS

What did you say to him?

Oh, what, you knew he was back, did you?

There's nothing going on, and nothing's going to.

-I've moved on.

-Yeah, well, that's what you think, Lauren,

but some people get in your head and they stay there.

That's the boss.

He's better looking than Lister but he's a real slimeball.

Steer well clear.

It's too soon for all that, anyway.

It's never too soon!

Tamwar's still single.

You're funny.

Your stall's out of its allocated zone.

What?

Yeah. It should be two inches to the left.

So move it, otherwise you'll face a fine.

-Are you serious?

-Yes, cos those are the rules.

I know rules don't mean much to you - I heard what happened in court -

but... move it, please. Now.

-BIANCA:

-Well, I was hoping they might have kept you locked up!

Look, I'm sorry, B.

-I know how you must feel...

-You reckon?

My mum was right about you, Kat - you are a selfish, lying little cow.

And you come back here like nothing's happened?

Well, I hope she was worth it.

I just want to put this right.

I'm sorting out a rota for the stall.

You know what? I can't even look at you.

Where'd you go?

Oh, don't worry about her.

She's taking it pretty well!

-Kat...

-Anyway, who needs her? I've got you now.

It's just a bit of website design -

how can you justify charging that much?

No, it's fine, forget it - I'll find someone else.

I'm sorry for earwigging -

I know quite a lot about web design. I used to do all Sadie's stuff.

-Maybe I could help?

-No, thanks.

Whatever those big companies are charging, I'd do it for half that.

Come on, what have you got to lose?

Besides, I could really do with the money.

I lost my job yesterday.

Can I get two teas, please?

Hello again.

Look, I don't want any trouble.

I found out from Billy about Janine dropping the charges.

So whilst everyone round here thinks you're Little Miss Innocent,

we both know different, don't we?

And that's never going to change.

Roxy?

-What happened?

-Nothing.

Don't pay any attention to her, all right?

Her bark is a lot worse than her bite.

So, you back here for good?

Well, that's the plan.

Bad idea, innit?

No. You've paid your dues, we both know that.

PHONE RINGS

Hey.

Who's he?

I thought it might be easier for you to sort the funeral

if the vicar came here.

But I don't know him!

He ain't my vicar. My vicar is the Mr Reverend Stevens.

-I'm Tim....

-Tim who?

-Stevens.

-Oh.

-I'm a reader from a nearby church.

Mr Stevens sends his apologies

but he's had to go away for a couple of weeks.

Church business. I'm covering for him.

I'm also his nephew, so you'll still have the family connection,

if that helps.

Oh.

Well, you'd better go through.

A meal's fine, but what Tam really needs

is something to remind him there's more to life

than the daily drudge of market inspecting.

Easier said than done.

I didn't think she'd ever come back.

That's where her husband died over there, running from the law.

Murdered my uncle.

I'd have never thought that of Bradley,

he always seemed like a nice bloke. Quiet.

Yeah, well, you know what they say - still waters run deep.

Why aren't you on the van with Alfie?

Cos he's given him the morning off, ain't he?

He's had to take the van over to Canning Town

for a whatsit - service.

Like what he said.

-Anyway, I've gotta be somewhere, so I'll see you...

-Yeah.

I've got to be somewhere as well.

All right, Jenny?

You pushed off a bit lively the other week.

Something I said?

You took your time. Teas'll be cold by now.

Yeah, sorry. I was just catching up with a few people.

Bet it's like you've never been away.

Yeah. Do you mind if I go home and check on Lily?

-Course not. Give Tommy a kiss from me.

-All right.

Stace!

Stace, can we talk, please?

Please.

You can't avoid me for ever, can you?

I can't hide all day, can I?

I'm supposed to be meeting some geezer about a van in a bit.

Yeah, but after what I said, if she sees you she might get suss.

Too late!

We've actually seen a big increase in people choosing popular music

rather than hymns for the end of the service.

It can add a very personal touch

when relatives pick a favourite song of the deceased.

What, Jailhouse Rock?

I mean, he may just be a name on a list to you, but he was my son

and I'd like a proper funeral, not a disco.

I'm sure Mr Stevens didn't mean anything.

Mrs Branning, I assure you,

both you and your son are far more than names on a parish register.

Yes, and I'm sorry if I snapped.

To be quite honest with you, I ain't seen my Nick for the last few years.

Not since he brought his daughter Dotty to meet me.

And I wouldn't have the faintest idea what his favourite song is.

Maybe you could choose something he liked as a child.

Something you used to sing to him, perhaps?

I only used to sing him lullabies.

Mind you, there was one song that he liked.

Sleepy Joe.

He used to make me sing it to him over and over again.

But I can't remember it now.

It's funny isn't it, those moments, they're so precious,

and you don't realise it till they're gone.

Your uncle, he must be very pleased to have you near.

Oh, we weren't always that way.

I went through my rebellious years like anyone else.

Took a while to find the right path and reconnect.

I wish that'd been the case with my Nick.

But it's too late now.

Lauren's out, we've got the place to ourselves.

So, why'd you leave the hotel like that?

You know why.

Well, no, cos I thought we wanted the same thing.

No, you thought you'd take advantage when of me when I was at my lowest.

It weren't like that, I just liked being alone with you.

I just wanted it to last a bit longer.

I thought you did as well.

Stace, it's still there, what we had all those years ago.

-No, it isn't.

-Right, so why did you agree to come back here?

To tell you to stay away.

Well, if that's what you want, why are you back in Walford?

Not everything is about you, Max!

I've come back for my family.

And this connection that you think we've got - it's Bradley,

-nothing else.

-No, it ain't.

It ain't, Stace.

-For me, eh?

-Don't.

We need to draw a line under me and you, for good.

-Right, and that's what you really want?

-Yeah.

And it should be what you want, too.

Look at how much we've lost, Max.

Stace, all right? We ain't over.

We ain't ever going to be over.

Some people get into your head and stay there, right, Dad?

Then she turned up declaring her undying love for me.

Well, the girl's only human. The thing is, Kat,

I played along cos I thought it was

the easiest thing to do. But I swear, there was no funny business,

my hands were firmly on my head.

She didn't like being rejected cos she thought, you know...

we had something.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, SHE took the van, OK?

Stitched me up like a kipper. So I'm the victim here.

And that's the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth, so help me, Kat.

SHE LAUGHS

Why are you laughing? I thought you'd be angry.

What, because some desperate Aussie bird kicked you into touch?

-Do me a favour!

-Excuse me, cos someone fancies me,

-what, you think they're desperate?

-You said it.

Look, you scammed someone, it came back and bit you on the knackers!

If that's the worst secret you've kept from me

since we've been back together, I think I can cope with that.

-You - you are one in a million.

-I know.

Oh, you do, do you?

Listen, I'm sorry I got angry about the whole Stacey thing,

it's just, you know, I was worried, about you and our babies.

I know. But we have to be honest with each other.

I mean, look what happened to Janine and Michael in the end.

Do you really want to end up like that?

OK, here's the deal, all right? Let's call it quits.

From now on we both stay out of trouble, yeah?

-Sounds good to me.

-OK, good. You want a bacon sarnie?

-Go on, then.

-OK, then.

I'll leave you to it.

-He seems nice.

-Well, we'll see. He's Nick's son.

I'm so sorry about what happened, Dot. I had no idea.

Well, I expected it, you know, the life he led.

But you don't think they'll go before you, not your children.

It don't seem real, Stacey.

Right or wrong, you loved him no matter what he did, didn't you?

Yeah, course I did.

I mean, he was me own flesh and blood, you forgive 'em anything.

But people round here, they're just glad to see the back of him.

Cos you do something wrong, and that's what they remember.

-Like with Bradley?

-Oh, no, no, no. Not Bradley.

He hadn't got a nasty bone in his body.

Now all people talk about is how he killed someone.

But we know the truth.

-Yeah, we know.

-Well, ain't that enough?

No more than I deserve, right?

Don't worry, I feel the same.

But it's given me new aspirations in life.

This week - a single bedsit. Next week - who knows?

Might be able to persuade Aleks to give me a chair for the corner.

-Or a desk.

-Whoa-ho, steady on!

Right, there you go.

It's perfect.

Oi, cheeky, don't sound so surprised!

I'll spend a few hours finessing it,

and I can have it finished by tonight.

-You can pay me then.

-OK, great.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Cool.

Think I can find my own way out.

Yeah. Yeah, course.

-Bye.

-See you.

HE WHISTLES

-I'm impressed.

-Strictly business, mate.

Business can become pleasure.

The last thing I need right now is romance, trust me.

-Did Kat send you?

-No, she don't even know I'm here.

Please give her another chance.

-Alice could've gone down for murder!

-I know, but she didn't.

-She'll be OK.

-Kat looked me in the eye

and swore she saw her do it, Stacey.

I stuck up for her, I defended her to my own mother -

-she's made me look like a mug!

-Janine caused all this, not Kat.

She was just desperate to help her family.

Why else would she lie under oath,

and hurt the people that she cares about?

I know, in this situation, you would do the same.

Bianca, you're the closest thing that Kat's got

to a sister on this square.

Except you.

Yeah, but...she needs her best mate too, more than she realises.

Please just think about it.

You don't have to go to all this effort.

Anything to put a smile on my little bro's face.

Tam. Tam, guess what I've got?

A key, it seems.

-Four tickets to the West End's best comedy club.

-No way!

Would I joke about something as serious as comedy?

This is above and beyond, Jane. Thank you!

Lunch is ready - come and get it, guys.

Yeah, in a minute. So what's the line-up?

Oh, I wrote it down.

It's Conor Locky, Lucy Rake, Tom Merlin and Suki Brown.

-Suki Brown! She's brilliant.

-She is good.

Ah, just the man I want to see!

Listen, buddy, can I ask you a favour?

-Now you want my help?

-Listen, I've got a proposition

for you. Just hear me out, all right?

-Cheers.

-There you go, darling.

B, if you've come back for another fight, I'm really not up for it.

Shifted them new leggings yet?

-No.

-Typical.

Let me show you how it's done.

-All right? How's Nan with the kids?

-Yeah. She's all right.

Listen, Kat, me being here - it ain't going to work.

It ain't even been a day, give it a chance!

Brighton ain't so great, you know. It's windy by the sea.

And you'll get fat with all them doughnut stalls.

You don't understand.

Just meet me in the Vic in ten minutes, yeah?

Roxy, can I have a word?

However you feel about me, I...

I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

Is that it?

Yeah.

I can't forget.

But I won't say anything, I promised Ronnie.

Look, my dad lied to me my whole life.

About what he did to Ronnie, about Danielle...

I loved him... but I never really knew him, so...

..what's one more lie?

Shall I hold the door open this time, Jen?

Listen, my name's not Jenny, it's Stacey.

-I was in a bit of trouble...

-It's all right, listen, you ain't got

to explain, it's none of my business.

-Did you get it sorted, this trouble?

-Yeah, in a way.

Good.

So, Stacey, would you like a drink on the house

and we'll start again, shall we?

Yeah, why not? I'll have a vodka.

-What are you doing?

-We found you something.

-What?

-Herman's Hermits?

-Oh, yes, that was it.

It only took a web search.

And we can download it for the funeral if you like?

MUSIC: "Sleepy Joe" by Herman's Hermits

# Rise and shine, sleepy Joe

# Now's the time, don't you know? #

"Rise and shine." I don't think that's very appropriate.

No, we'll have the traditional hymns.

Takes me right back, though.

I want you to arrange to have the coffin brought here.

Because I want to say a proper goodbye to him.

It's time he come home.

Listen, about my dad.

We both know what he's like when it comes to you,

and my family's had enough drama as it is...

It's all right, Lauren. I'm not staying.

Right.

Oh, Lauren.

Will you keep this safe for me?

-What is it?

-Please, just do it for me.

-What you doing here with Lily?

-Your guess is as good as mine.

Stacey called and asked me to pack their things

and meet her in here quick as I could.

-What? What, you just going to do a runner?

-No.

No, I need you to do me a favour.

You said it yourself. You said that Mum's doing great with Ollie, and...

I know that she'll take good care of Lily.

Why would she have to?

Kat's going to take you to the seaside.

She's going to take you to stay with Nanny Jean.

She's going to look after you until Mummy comes home, OK?

Mummy loves you. Mummy loves you so much.

Nan, do me a favour and take her outside.

We received a call about a crime committed in this pub.

I'm not Janine.

I can't just walk off into the sunset and get my happy ending.

I thought I could live with it, but I can't.

I need to clear Bradley's name.

And I don't want my daughter growing up in a lie.

Don't do this, Stacey, please.

I'm the one who called you.

I did it.

THUNDER RUMBLES

I killed Archie Mitchell.